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Tag: Relationships

  • The Four Horsemen of Marital Apocalypse

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    Stop to consider your last fight with your spouse. The exact subject may escape you at the moment. We understand. After a while, the spats – over bills, your job, in-laws or the dishes still in the sink – can all blur together. But contrary to popular belief, it’s not the amount of conflict in your marriage or what you argue about that determines your relationship’s survival rate. to marriage researchers, how a couple fights tends to be the best predicator of whether they’ll end up enjoying their golden years together or battling it out in divorce court. So learning to fight less may not be quite as important as learning to fight fair.

    Four Deadly Sins of Marriage

    Dr. John Gottman of University of Washington, one of the foremost marriage researchers, claims he can predict with 90 percent accuracy if a couple will divorce. In his storied “love lab,” Gottman studies how couples interact, particularly how they communicate with each other in heated moments. After 30 years of research, he has pinpointed four behaviors that seem to invariably spell disaster in any marriage. He ominously refers to them as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Every couple needs to be vigilant and ensure none of the four gallop into their marriage and wreak irreversible havoc.

    Horseman #1: Criticism

    The most common horseman that emerges in long-term relationships is criticism. Frustrations, annoyances and resentment inevitably build up when couples live together – day in and day out. And criticism can be how these emotions manifest in the heat of an argument.

    Note that criticism differs from complaining. Criticism focuses on the person. Complaining focuses on the behavior. This may seem like subtle nuance but research shows it is a distinction that makes a significant difference in the long term. For example, this is a critical statement: “You always drive around in circles. You are an awful driver with a terrible sense of direction.” These words are dripping with blame and accusation. They are a personal attack.

    Unlike criticism, complaining has more to do with how the other person’s behavior makes you feel. Complaining usually begins with an “I” instead of “you”: “I get so frustrated when you are driving and don’t know where you are going.” See the difference? The second statement is a negative comment about something you wish were otherwise. So though “I” statements can seem awkward, they really help keep the carnage manageable during explosive moments.

    Horseman #2: Contempt

    You’re an idiot. You can’t do anything right. You make me sick. These contemptuous words have no place in any relationship you value. They are meant to explicitly humiliate or wound. They are toxic and indefensible. Period.

    Contempt includes but is not limited to name-calling, hostility and sarcasm. Keep in mind that contempt can also be conveyed non-verbally. An excessively harsh tone or disgusted eye roll can escalate your garden-variety argument into WWIII in the blink of an eye. Avoid contempt in your arguments at all cost. It is the basest, most childish tactic to resort to in a fight. Strive to respect your wife even when you disagree or feel upset with her. Contempt is like a poison. It will single-handedly erode intimacy. It destroys a sense of security and mutual respect. It does real damage because it makes a partner feel belittled and unloved.

    Horseman #3: Defensiveness

    Criticism+Contempt=Defensiveness. Defensive statements become practically an involuntary reflex in homes where contempt and criticism are regular visitors. It is understandable. After all, who wouldn’t put up their guard in response to an accusatory, belittling spouse? Defensiveness is fundamentally a self-preserving tactic.

    As understandable as this response can be, it is still hugely destructive. It builds walls. Rather than allow room for connectedness, the foundation for conflict resolution, it tends to breed emotional distance. Defensiveness blocks healing and forgiveness.

    Horseman #4: Stonewalling

    Because stonewalling is not explicitly aggressive, couples often underestimate its destructive potential. But it can be just as devastating to a relationship in its passiveness. It is, in effect, giving up. It is withdrawing emotionally. It is essentially closing the door to a resolution.

    Stonewallers withdraw partly because they can feel overwhelmed with emotion. They may keep their faces expressionless, avoid eye contact, hold their posture rigid, avoid any signs of listening such as nodding or encouraging sounds. They radiate icy distance and disapproval to their partners.

    The Secret to Fighting Fair

    Now that you know the four horsemen, make a conscious effort to keep them in the stable before they trample your marriage. One of the best ways to do this is to make “repair attempts” during your next argument. According to Gottman, repair attempts are any words or actions that prevent a conflict from escalating out of control. As simple as it sounds, repair attempts keep a marriage from becoming negative, hostile and distant.

    Repair attempts can be as basic as changing the topic, giving a compliment, apologizing or saying, “I’ve been cranky all day, can we start over?” It can be as simple as saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this” or cracking a joke to diffuse tension. Research even shows couples who touch during arguments also tend to show higher relationship satisfaction. Do whatever works for you when conflict rears its ugly head.

    Remember, the more entrenched the negative patterns of behavior in your marriage become, the more difficult it becomes to break them. Don’t become a victim of these negative cycles. When two mature people can take ownership and be flexible, they will keep their marriage strong even though they may not always agree. As a Scottish proverb says, “Better bend than break.”

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    Source by Grant Langston

    Views: 0

  • A New Perspective on Medicine

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    Society evalu resorts to pharmaceuticals as a means of alleviating pain, treating infection and illness, yet many of these synthetic drugs have long lists of side-effects. What the world doesn't know is the potency of natural remedies. Thus, medical coverage is not universal, and this precipitates the need for holistic treatments. Near Eastern medicine has largely been dismissed in favor of pharmaceuticals, in the process discarding millennia of medical knowledge. What can be cured with crushed clovers is now replaced with ibuprofen. This is one of the biggest flaws in our "universal" health care system. I developed a medical journal over last year spring break, and I have been expanding it ever since, adding holistic remedies used in place of synthetic drugs to treat a variety of ailments. Not only would this restore almost-forgotten medical knowledge, but it would also encourage a peaceful relationship between Muslims and other Near Eastern communities during a time when such peaceful relationships are vital.

    How long are we to remain ignorant of these things? Yes, perhaps medications and OTC drugs are much more efficient and work faster, but what happens to our appreciation for medical literature and the equivalent of a millennium of medical knowledge? Are they to be discarded? Thrown away?

    This is something that we, as a society, have to work toward, one step at a time.

    Recently, I put this to use. A few days ago, on January 6th, 2018 at about 9pm, my father indicated he was experiencing some discomfort in his right eye. Curious, I took a high resolution photo of the eye in question, in a slightly supine position. I analyzed the picture and discovered an irregular growth / inflammation in the right, upper eyelid. I do recall studying and reading about various eye infections and irregular growths in a few of my classes in school, such as conjunctivitis ("pink eye"), myasthenia gravis, and blepharitis. I came to conclude that the symptoms that my father was experiencing were characteristic of what is commonly called "stye". In stye, the eyelid is usually slightly red, almost looking like it was trying to develop into a minor for of blepharitis. I asked myself and my dad, "Perhaps this stye was the cause of lack of sleep? I asked this because a few blood vessels in his right eye were slightly bulging." No ", he replied. I read and researched about stye online. Just before my mom got up to go to the pharmacy to get him a few OTC's, I read that stye could be cured through ONE SIMPLE TECHNIQUE: HEAT.

    I told my father to apply heat (best option) so that the inflammation in the idea and whatever bacteria in there can dissociate (if that's the right word). He held a soaked, hot towel ABOVE his right eye (notice: he did not necessarily have to TOUCH his eye with the towel). He held it for 6-8 minutes and repeated this until the pain subsided. The next day, he performed the same procedure. After just two days routinely practicing the same procedure (WITHOUT MEDICATION), my father's eyelid returned back to its normal color and shape.

    So there you have it.

    Certain things CAN be cured by simply holistic, natural remedies. We like to think that doctors, physicians, pharmacists, etc. are "in charge" of Medicine. Not necessarily. Medicine can start at home, with us. One step at a time.

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    Source by Masood Shawyan Jan

    Views: 0

  • What Is the Best Definition of a Wealth Creator?

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    One of the most important personal traits of a wealth creator is that they have integrity, in other words, their words and their actions go hand-in-hand. It is because of this personal trait that they can always be trusted and are trustworthy.

    Unfortunately, most people say one thing and do another, that is, their words are not backed up by their actions. It is, therefore, understandable why most people are not creators of wealth. You cannot be a creator of wealth unless you have integrity.

    Secondly, their relationships are built on trust and respect and therefore, their relationships are positive, good and long-lasting. This makes perfect sense, as any relationships that lack trust and respect, simply cannot last.

    Thirdly, creators of wealth lead solid, stable and progressive lives. They are not living grand, high-flying lives one day, and then down-and-out on the streets the next. The main reason for this, is that wealth creators do not take risks and therefore, do not put themselves in situations where they stand the chance of losing everything.

    This goes against the popular conventional belief that the higher the risk, the higher the reward. People who believe this to be true, are not creators of wealth and if they believe this to be true and are wealthy because of taking high risks, they can then be considered, to be gamblers.

    Gamblers do stand a chance of becoming wealthy, however, they also stand the chance of losing all of their wealth.

    Creators of wealth, on the other hand, grow their wealth.

    Fourthly, creators of wealth do not create their wealth by chance, by fortune, or by luck. They each have a formula for building wealth and they simply, steadfastly, stick to the formula. Creators of wealth grow their wealth by following a successful formula that consistently provides positive results; it can, therefore, be said that wealth creators are results-driven people, that is, that they are only interested in the results.

    My next point, is that wealth creators know how to build an investment or business. They have taken the time and effort to invest in themselves, so that they have the necessary knowledge and skills, in order to build a business or investment.

    Lastly, wealth creators have the ability to make their money work for them – they do not have to work for their money. This is another reason, why most people aren’t wealth creators, as most people are only able to work for their money and are unable to make their money work for them.

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    Source by Trevor Warwick Miller

    Views: 0

  • Red Crystals and Gemstones – Healing Properties of Carnelian and Red Garnet

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    Carnelian Ancient Egyptian Source of Renewal

    Known as the Artist’s Stone it activates creativity, possibly unearthing hidden talent or latent gifts. It is an excellent stone for relieving depression, grounding, overall well-being; aids in focusing thoughts, intensify concentration, increase physical energy.

    Being a part of the Red Crystal and Gemstone family, it resonates with both the Root or Basic Chakra and the Sacral Chakra. Use this wonderful stone to cleanse and balance your Base Chakra, aligning yourself with feeling more secure and grounded.

    Ancient Egyptians believed Carnelian to be a source of vitality, sustaining the cycle of re-birth and renewal. There are references to the use of Carnelian in the Egyptian Book of the Dead. High Priests used this beautiful stone material for their Chalice as it is has the unique quality of retaining the vibration of that which was placed within. Many Chalices contained or had Silver linings molded to it, representing the Moon’s cycles of renewal and purity of its shimmering light in the night sky.

    Working with Carnelian will encourage a sense of self-trust, enabling the wearer to better discern the many choices before them. Drinking Carnelian charged water will create a sense of empowered motivation in someone who may be a bit under-motivated. It will also aid relieving depression, increasing one’s sense of self-esteem and self-empowerment.

    It can be used as a focal point during meditation or placed on the Third Eye to cleanse, balance and align your inner sight with that of the physical realm.

    *Angelic Realm Association: Archangel Raziel whose name means “Secret of God” will assist you, when asked, to remember who you truly are.

    *Healing Properties: relieves depression, stone for overall well-being, heighten concentration, increase physical energy, absorb and repel negativity.

    *Vibrational Frequency: high energy, vitality, stabilizes excess nervous energy.

    *Spiritual Properties: assists the Soul on along its journey through the physical plane, assists with being in the present moment.

    Being a personal favorite, it is one of the many crystal and gemstone bracelets I wear daily!

    Red Garnet Good Luck Stone

    The Pomegranate Seed is the inspiration for the naming of this precious stone. Its unique fiery red energy is unlike any other. In days gone by, the Garnet was used to ward off demons, protecting its wearers from phantoms in the darkness of night.

    Resonating with the second or Sacral Chakra, the Garnet aligns the wearer with abundance and prosperity, protection, enhancing relationships in a variety of ways, on many levels.

    The vibrational energy frequency of this magnificent gemstone is that of the Third Eye, clear, bright, intense, all seeing, all-knowing, piercing through cloudy shadows of dis-belief.

    The color range is deep translucent red to a very deep almost red-black color. It is often given as a token of love and fidelity.

    When placed on the Third Eye during meditation, it will cleanse negative energy, and with time enable you to see more clearly whether or not you are consciously aware of your Third Eye opening. It is more than possible for an Intuitive to access their inner sight regardless of their Third Eye being open. It is highly suggested, the Garnet be cleansed and charged in the sunlight before placing it on your Third Eye Chakra. You may choose to pass your stone through incense or over the flame of a red or white candle instead of placing it in the Sun’s rays. Whichever method you choose, always take proper precautions when working with candles or incense.

    *Angelic Realm Association: Archangel Jophiel whose name means “Beauty of God” seeing through eyes of love, enhancing all relationships especially those of the heart. Angel Israfil whose name means “The Burning One” is also associated with this gemstone, burning away imperfections, purifying the love between two people.

    *Healing Properties: personal relationships, feelings of security, passion, creativity, regulate the metabolism, feelings of lack, healing fear of the unknown.

    *Vibrational Frequency: intense, piercing, fiery purification.

    *Spiritual Properties: Third Eye activation, compassion, dream recall

    If you wish to recall a past life or incident in this life, Garnet may assist you in healing that which has come before, bringing you to where you are in this moment with compassion and love. Take heed before delving into the past; be sure you wish to re-visit an experience or situation. It may be best to allow a professional lead you through a regression.

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    Source by Terrie Marie

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  • Adult Children Come Home to Heal

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    Should you let an adult child come home again? Parents send their nearly grown children out to conquer the world and sometimes they bounce right back home. A parent’s goal is to teach their child to survive the best and the worst that life has to offer. Most young people are able to maintain a level of existence, sobriety and relationships that sustain them until they really know who they are and what they want to do with their lives.

    However, sometimes life throws them a curve and they falter. Circumstances can hurt them, even bring them to their knees. A devastating break-up with a lover, flunking their first semester, an unexpected death of a best friend, or getting fired from his or her first real job can knock your child out of the game and take months to a year to recover.

    Did you keep their childhood bedroom just the same? Perhaps this is the time to open the shades and prepare for a wounded visitor. Make it clear that the invitation is temporary but open your door widely and let them come home again. As irritating as they are to you and your spouse, remember that your little habits will irritate them, too. As they begin to recover their sea legs, they will want the freedom of their own place ASAP. If you want to encourages them to leave quickly after a few weeks recovery, begin to talk endlessly about developing a strong work ethic and new disciplined habits in place of blaming others for their situation or procrastination. Hopefully, they will soon be out seeking new adventures.

    Help them improve their diet and sleep patterns. Try including fish oil and B vitamins daily to help them recharge their nerves and bodies. Less coffee and colas and more vegetables will help them with their mood. If your child seems to be getting worse or rarely leaves the house, antidepressants may be indicated. Get medical help immediately if your child seems despondent or suicidal.

    Being mom or dad again may even heal your empty nest pain. Give them a safe haven for a little while away from the pressures of living fast and competitively. Soon, they will try to fly again, this time a little wiser, a little stronger and a bit more ready. Oh, and don’t redecorate that room just yet. They may be back.

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    Source by Molly Barrow

    Views: 0

  • Christian Healing Ministries That Heal Stress and Addictions

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    Jesus Christ is the focus of Christian healing ministries that are freeing people from the pain associated with unhealthy lifestyles. There is no limit on the healing power of Jesus Christ. If you are seeking: healing addictions, healing sexual abuse and healing stress: Jesus cares about those things that are plaguing you and here are some Biblical steps that you can take. Spiritual healing is available that will reach deep into a person’s soul to bring healing from these common torments that are destroying the peace and joy that is available through Jesus Christ.

    Healing Stress
    Negative emotions are damaging to the body. Modern life is often characterized by a mounting sea of daily pressures and stressful events which are coming at us from every direction. However, the real culprit behind stress and stress related illnesses is not the situations and daily pressures that are bombarding us. The real culprit behind stress is the emotional reactions that we are experiencing on the inside of us. These emotions can generate sickness within our body. Negative emotions release chemical reactions in the body and the brain. These reactions affect organs on every level including the stomach, heart, large muscles, and the cells throughout the entire body. The most dangerous emotions include: un-forgiveness, depression, rage, anger, worry, fear, grief, guilt and frustration.

    What many don’t realize is that these negative emotions are sins which not only cause disease, they also separate us from God. But don’t be discouraged! There is good news in this truth and that good news is that there is a way out from disease and the entrapment of negative attitudes and emotions that may have affected our personality. Jesus died so that we can be free of sin’s penalty and from its power. We can be set free of negative emotions which cause sickness and stress by learning how to carry our negative emotions captive to Christ (2Co 10:5). Healing stress can bring forth physical healings in our bodies from diseases that we may be experiencing. It always carries us closer to Christ.

    Healing sexual abuse
    Sexual abuse is a traumatic experience that causes deep feelings of rejection within the abused person. Sins against us whether they are verbal, physical, or sexual are tremendously painful experiences which can leave us experiencing symptoms in our personalities such as shyness, perfectionism, exhibitionists, and high achievers. Healing sexual abuse is necessary in order to experience the freedom of life without seeking the approval of others. The deep-rooted pain can cause a person to hide their real self from others and even from God. Healing sexual abuse will result in meaningful relationships and purposeful lives which are filled with true intimacy with others and with God.

    Healing Addictions
    Addiction is bondage in our lives. Spiritual/emotional bondage is anything in our lives that controls us or rules us. God-and the peace and freedom He gives us-is to be our master, not sin. Some things that are good can become addictions when moderation is passed such as eating, work, relationships, shopping, prescription drugs and entertainment. Other addictions are based on things that are not good to begin with such as gambling, foul language, illegal drug use, and pornography. True freedom from addiction and healing addictions begins with allowing God to work on your emotional life and honestly admitting deep down inside that you need His help to help you surrender and stay surrendered to His leadership in your life.

    Healing stress, healing addiction, and healing sexual abuse are only possible through the power of the cross. When you receive Jesus Christ as your savior you receive the Spirit of Jesus Christ within you. Becoming a new man is not always immediately visible outwardly, but as you seek God through the truths found in the Bible you will experience freedom in your life as never before. Christ in you is the hope of glory (Col 1:27):
    To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

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    Source by Scott J Thomas

    Views: 0

  • Emotional Resilience in Children

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    Emotional resilience is the ability to cope with stressful life experiences, disappointments, and challenges in an effective and meaningful way that helps to preserve self-esteem, build social aptitude, and prevent frustration, anger, and even depression. Emotional resilience learned early in life assists in recovering from misfortunes and disappointments, thus fostering emotional health.

    Teaching your child to be emotionally resilient will help him / her be in control and build confidence to work through challenging situations effectively. Becoming emotionally resilient in childhood will provide a basic foundation for your child's emotional health in adolescence and adulthood.

    Emotions shape your child's interactions with others and affect his or her behaviors resulting from those interactions. In order to prevent conflict, or deal with conflict effectively when it arises, your child should learn to understand his or her feelings, be able to identify them, and regulate them. It is important to teach children there is a whole gamut of emotions that can be expressed in various ways. However, knowing how to express them in a meaningful way will help your child in solving social conflicts and maintaining relationships. One way of promoting development of emotional competence is to help your child develop vocabulary that expresses feelings. Parents can also assist their children in recognizing various emotions and teaching them that emotions can be changed by their thinking.

    Emotions are driven by behaviors. However, children must learn that emotions should not take control over their actions. It is crucial for children to know that expressing feelings helps in preventing and resolving problems. They need to be taught that bottled-up feelings lead to misunderstandings, anxiety, anger, and depression.

    When your child does not express emotions, he or she is more likely to experience angry outbursts that might come from being sad, embarrassed, or frustrated. Perhaps, your child feels guilty about something he or she did, is afraid, or feels helpless and chooses to express those negative feelings of emotional stress with angry outbursts. This inability to deal with stress in a constructive way most of the time stems from the lack of understanding one's own emotions, emotions of others, and lacking the ability to express feelings effectively.

    Signs of Emotional Fragility

    – Regression of behaviors
    – Withdrawal
    – Excessive clinginess
    – Bedwetting
    – Nightmares
    – Aggression

    One of the most important things a parent can do to foster a child's healthy emotional development is to promote positive family communication. That includes positive reinforcement, which is praising your child for positive behaviors, giving encouragement, and avoidance of negative criticism when expected results are not achieved. Also, providing consistency is extremely important for a child's emotional health, as it aids in avoiding ambiguity and uncertainty. If a child knows what's expected of him or her, they will most likely comply, thus avoiding frustration, anger, and possibly humiliation.

    Younger children might be more open and willing to express their feelings. In adolescence, family communication might become more challenging as the teen tries to suppress their feelings in an attempt to resolve them alone. Parenting teenagers requires patience and the ability to be supportive. Frequently, conversation with your teen at home might be extremely difficult. However, your teen may try to open up while riding with you in a car where there is no eye contact, thus the confrontation seems to be less intimidating. Building a sound foundation of emotional resilience in childhood will help your adolescent achieve emotional health. Should getting through to your child become impossible, or he or she becomes withdrawn and exhibits signs of emotional instability, don't be afraid to seek help. You may start by talking to another family member, a friend, or a counselor.

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    Source by Monika B. Pis, Ph.D.

    Views: 0

  • How to Attract Wealth by Altering Your Invisible Field?

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    Wealth attraction means more than just inviting more money into your life. It means having fulfilling relationships, love, wealth, health, career and success. If you agree that money is not the only yardstick for wealth, and like to know how to attract wealth by altering your invisible field, you are in the right place.

    First, what is this invisible field? It is the aura that surrounds us. Most of us can’t see this glowing field, but certainly we can feel it.

    Think about this: Have you ever experienced someone standing quietly behind you? It might be your boss watching what you were doing, or a friend planning to give you a surprise. For whatever reason, you would have felt their presence unless you were overly engrossed in your task. The reason why you could feel it was because another invisible field impinged into yours. And that invisible field is the aura.

    Our aura is not only invisible, it is also magnetic. What you attract into your life first manifests in your aura, then in reality. Of course, the manifestation in the aura is not in term of events or objects. Instead, it shows in the shade, shape, condition and colors of the aura.

    Simply put, by changing your aura, you can attract abundance. So how to attract wealth by changing the aura? The 5 step formula for manifesting abundance are as follows:

    1) Create a Clear Picture of Your Desire – First is to be clear and concise on what you want. For simplicity, let’s say you want more money. Write down the amount. Start with what you expect to have 3, 6 and 12 months from now. Check your emotions when you put down the value. If you feel uneasy, adjust the amount till you feel manageable.

    Based on the amount you have written, see yourself celebrating and holding more money progressively.

    2) Get the Aura Tool for Wealth – The truth is you can use visualization to change your aura. But it is easier and faster with crystal. Why crystal? How does it work? The vibe of each type of crystal is unique, consistent and pure. Because of this special characteristic, each crystal has an aura of specific shade and color.

    By leveraging on these stones we can alter our aura to attract wealth. But how to attract wealth with crystal?

    Depending on your definition of wealth, first select a suitable crystal. But since we used money as the example earlier, let’s continue with it.

    For money, we will go with citrine. This stone is a renowned money magnet and mood lifter. Get a citrine crystal sphere of 2 inches or more – the bigger, the better.

    3) Preparing your Wealth Tool – You need to cleanse, charge and program it with the wealth images you have created in step 1.

    Soak the citrine in sea salt water overnight. Rinse with distilled or filtered water and sun it for about half hour. Next place the citrine on your left palm and visualize the images you have created earlier. During visualization, stay relaxed, happy and fulfilled.

    4) Wealth Meditation – In step 4 on how to attract wealth, meditate with the citrine. You can adopt the “sitting on char”, half lotus or full lotus posture. Hold your citrine in your left hand and firmly supported with the right below.

    Meditate for 30 minutes for 7 consecutive days. It will be better to do it for 49 days straight. During meditation, again visualize the created images to reinforce the wealth attraction power.

    5) Release the Feeling – At the end of the meditation, let go of the images and feelings. Place the citrine by the side of your bed and carry on your usual daily tasks.

    With the help of citrine, you have infused your aura with the right shade and colors for wealth attraction. Congratulation!

    Having learned how to attract wealth by changing your aura colors, you must be impressed with what crystals can do for you.

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    Source by Glen Lim

    Views: 0

  • Online Dating – Needle in a Haystack?

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    No doubt about it, Internet dating has become a unique part of modern love. In fact, in New York, Internet dating has become so popular that it is now simply called ‘partner shopping’ or ‘hyper dating’.

    Online personal ads were one of the first niche markets on the web at the beginning of the net revolution and statistics now predict that 50% of single people will hook up with a partner online. However, with thousands of dating websites to choose from around the world, finding the right one can be difficult.

    If you’ve ever joined a general dating site you’ll know that trawling through a stream of profiles, with reams of personal information about housekeeping habits and suchlike, doesn’t mean that you will actually get along with someone. But the good news is that online dating is evolving, with recent trends showing a move towards specialist dating sites that aim to bring people with similar interests together.

    Sometimes linked to lifestyles, such as dating sites for bikers, interest-based dating sites are leading the way for a new generation of people looking for love on the worldwide web. With literally millions of people using the internet as a new social arena in which to make new friends and find a partner, people are discovering that there is a much better chance of making that all important connection through a specialist site where the members have shared interests.

    A recent survey by music-mate.com revealed that 80% of its members preferred interest-based dating sites, stating that they found it easier to make the first contact.

    Music-mate.com creator Diane Ainslie understands this new trend: ‘I’ve used the internet in the past to find a date and I really liked the idea of being able to meet up with people without all the usual fuss. But I often found I didn’t have a lot in common with the people I met. As a huge music fan, I realised that meeting people who shared a passion for the same music as me was a great basis to develop new relationships. You have something to talk about straight away!’

    And there’s the key. Joining a general dating site can be like visiting a strange city without a map. How do you even begin to find your way around? In choosing an interest-based site you’re starting on familiar ground. It’s easier to get talking and you’re more likely to meet someone you have something in common with. If half of all single people are using the Internet to find a partner, finding that special someone is like finding a needle in a haystack. It might just be time to jump on the latest bandwagon and find a dating site that interests you!

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    Source by Claire Gaskin

    Views: 0

  • How to Lose 50 Pounds in 11 Weeks – 5 Things You Must Do

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    Trying to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks can seem like a formidable task, but I assure you it can be done.

    I’m assuming you’re not interested in using weight loss pills, appetite suppressants, surgery or any of that other junk to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks, which is good…’cos I hate those things. Don’t get me wrong, they have their place in certain situations, but in most cases, are an unnecessarily extreme measure.

    When you consider that a gastric bypass operation can cost anywhere between $25,000 to $35,000 US dollars, you have to question whether the advice given to some folks to go through with it is in their best interests or that of the surgeon and his pocket.

    Trying to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks may be a tough challenge but there are a few things you can do to make your life easier.

    Here are 5 top tips you should follow when trying to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks.

    1) Believe in yourself / set goals

    The first and most important thing is getting in the right frame of mind. This may sound strange since you already know you want to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks…so what do I mean?

    Well, don’t worry, I’m not gonna go all Tony Robbins on you and get you jumping up and down in a euphoric state (although there is some truth to that). Rather, I’m saying that you need a clear picture of where you want to be, and focus on it. You need to feel like you’ve already managed to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks…think about it…how does it really feel. Are your work colleagues inspired and envious of your new body and transformation? Do you have the confidence that you were lacking to ask out that hot guy or gal you’ve had your eye on for like forever?

    Only by picturing it in your mind will you be able to set goals for your success and believe that you can and will lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks. The goals will be the checkpoints on your journey, the self-belief will be the fuel that keeps you going.

    2) Find a good trainer and surround yourself with good like-minded people

    This is an essential and often overlooked part of trying to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks. A lot of people don’t realise that who they surround themselves with plays a huge part in their self-belief, attitude, and overall motivation and determination. It has been said that a person is the average of the 5 or 10 people they hang around with the most, and this regards health, wealth, ambition, aspiration, relationships, family etc. This is not a hard and fast rule, but I feel there is some truth to it.

    Trying to lose a lot of weight quickly will be demanding and therefore you want to surround yourself with positive folks who are rooting for you, and not people who are waiting for you to fail, so they can say “I told you so!”

    Now, I’m not saying you should just give up and avoid your family and friends, but rather to seek out folks who have similar goals, and understand your situation. Finding people who have been where you are now and achieved your goals can give you a real push to do the same. Why do you think things like Weight Watchers clubs are so successful? It’s because they bring all these people together and they help each other out.

    Where can you find these people? There are loads of forums online where you can find people who are trying to lose weight. Just going to Google or Yahoo and typing something like “weight loss + forum” (without the quotes) will yield all sorts of great things. There are also loads of weight loss and fitness programs online that you can follow to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks.

    The same applies to your trainer, coach, or workout program that you choose to follow. Are they supportive yet ambitious, pushing you on when things get tough? If not, find one that is.

    3) Eat a healthy diet

    Obviously, diet and nutrition is fundamentally important when trying to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks. Taking on too many calories will mean you always put on weight, period. Therefore, you will need to create a caloric deficit, by taking on fewer calories than you burn, forcing your body to burn up the fat deposits and use it as energy.

    Finding the right diet is important, and many folks go about it the wrong way. Starving yourself is a big no-no. You may lose a few pounds in the first few days, but it won’t last, as your body will transition into starvation mode and slow down your metabolism to burn less fat (it’s your in-built survival mechanism), making it even harder to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks.

    So what can you do? Eat more! Yes, by eating smaller meals more regularly you will maintain your metabolism at a higher rate, and this, combined with exercise, will help you lose the pounds faster.

    Green fibrous vegetables like broccoli, green beans, asparagus and lettuce are great healthy foods that can actually help you to burn fat, and it’s almost impossible to overeat on them. Eating more of them in the later part of the day along with a good lean protein like chicken breast is one of the best methods of getting lean as quickly as possible, and losing 50 pounds in 11 weeks.

    4) Follow a good exercise plan

    Without exercise, even the best diet plan in the world will struggle to help you lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks. You need to exercise in order to get the full benefit of the caloric deficit we mentioned earlier. It will create the furnace where you burn off those unwanted pounds.

    Regular exercise also aids the mind, confidence and overall health. By tightening up, toning and growing your muscle, you also help your body to burn fat faster. Did you know that muscle can actually help you burn fat? So the more muscle you have the more fat you can burn, because your metabolism will work faster with more muscle.

    Find a good training and exercise plan, with a good variety of cardiovascular work for your overall fitness, endurance and toning exercises like pushups and sit-ups, and some light weight training.

    5) Stick to it!

    This is the most important and often the hardest thing when trying to lose 50 pounds in 11 weeks. The best diet, exercise routine, trainer, and goals, mean nothing without the small action of going and actually doing it. Things may get tough over the next 11 weeks, but sticking to it and following through will show results, and you’ll be amazed at what you achieve. Once you see a little success you’ll be hungry for more and then it’ll be so hard to stop the momentum you build up, that 50 pounds in 11 weeks will seem like a piece of cake!

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    Source by John Wheeler

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