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Tag: Relationships

  • The Philosophy of the Mind, Mindset and Mentality

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    It is important for people, who are serious about reflecting on the issue of the mind and its associated issues of the body. It is defined that the basis of Philosophy of the Mind is the branch of philosophy that studies the nature of the mind (mental events, mental functions, mental properties and consciousness) and its relationship to the physical body. It intersects to some extent with the fields of neurobiology, computer science and psychology. It is also interesting, at this juncture, to evaluate an aspect of theory of mind. It is stated that 'Theory of the Mind', is the social cognitive ability to explain and predict other people's actions in terms of the fundamental mental states, such as beliefs, intentions, or feelings.

    Baron-Cohen is a Professor of Developmental Psychopathology who proposed the empathizing / systematizing theory of psychological sex differences. He emphasizes that females are more disposed to an empathizing style and males are more disposed to a systematizing style. Consciously and sub-consciously both genders progressively streamline their efforts to draw meaningful results to find out which effect is more pronounced in the daily lives of human beings. Therefore, it is logical to study the relationship of the mind and mind-set with a variance of mentality. Thus, the mentality, eventually, becomes a pivotal point either good or bad subjectively.

    All creatures are created on "The Fitrat"; It is an Arabic word and it means original creation without an analogy. It has an ingrained quality that likes truth and good. It rejects all malign and untruth until such that the arrogance and ignorance overpower the mind. The deviation has its impact, yet the 'The Fitrat' constantly reminds the human beings its repercussions. However, the human mind which is polluted with arrogance and impertinence finally leads towards disaster.

    Analyzing the above scenario, which leads to environmental forces playing a dominant role affecting human behavior. Since God has also bestowed human beings' wisdom and knowledge, hence, human has a choice to select and rejects what his mind dictates. Subsequently, it develops a mentality which suits his desires finally shaping the personality of men and women accordingly.

    A question arises about how a mind affects the personality; If so, then in what way? Again, how it shapes the mentality? Human behavior indicates that the structure of brain correlates with their activities. The brain is directly proportional to personality and it is substantiated by Collin De Young and his team at University of Minnesota. They further stated, "Experiences change the brain as it develops, and those changes in the brain can change personality."

    Dr. Daniel Siegel coined the term "mindset" to describe the human capacity to perceive the mind of the self and others. A mindset is a relationship between the mind and brain and these factors collectively evolve the mentality. It differs with every individual subject to their upbringing with respective dwellings within the parameters of cultural, social and family values.

    It is important to understand why some individuals from poor dwellings, who, after, marriage is living in economically affluent environments remain introvert and perverted. Their past still haunts their behavior which is subconsciously governed by their poor mentality. Thus, their martial, live in affluent families failed to make a dent on a positive note. Hence, the relationship within their post marital environment conspicuously shows unhappy and bickering. In many cases, it drastically affects children and relationships among respective families.

    It is said that being a poor person is not bad, but having a poor mentality is a disaster. This typical camouflage scenario will expose the truth lying beneath the façade of superficial mask. Here, those people who are responsible to adjust and maintained the situations in a harmony often failed miserably because of dubious thinking and arrogance. It is appropriate to, quote, "The mind is a beautiful servant; a dangerous master." (The source of this quote is unknown)

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    Source by Ehtesham Mirza

    Views: 0

  • To Prevent A Divorce And Save Your Relationship Merely Takes A Willingness To Do So

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    If your relationship is going through a rough patch and it is one of numerous rough spots you may be worried that you are heading for divorce.

    Often divorce can’t be avoided, it will depend on the couple and the circumstance, but there are many times that you can pursue healing your relationship prior to it reaches the point for divorce.

    One error many people make is that they start making promises.

    Even if you believe you are genuine and that you can make some attitude and behavior changes, but do not commit, declarations like these will not save your relationship.

    You do need to go over the issues with your partner though since you can’t simply alter who you are to make them more than satisfied, and you need to be pleased and more than satisfied, too.

    Often there are issues that both of you require to work with to improve the relationship.

    The Idea is to Repair the Relationship Issues

    Telling your partner that you love or admire him/her continuously is not a great idea either, because even if it is true and you do like him, stating it constantly won’t repair any issues.

    Telling him that you like him can be seen as a bit of emotional blackmail – when all else fails to say ‘I love you’ – it doesn’t rather work like that.

    Rather, it’s the holiness within each of you that must be and connect seen as whole that is the miracle remedy for a failing marital relationship.

    The Course in Miracles states, “The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops and becomes accomplished, it represents the reversal of the unholy relationship.”

    When a relationship is in difficulty it can be difficult and you may find yourself a psychological wreck and seem to think that to prevent divorce is impossible.

    Due to the fact that it will just drain him more emotionally, this is another factor why you shouldn’t keep telling him that you love him.

    Telling him that he is sexy or that you love him is something you must save for when you have your relationship back on track.

    Another big mistake when a relationship is in difficulty is to constantly argue, and all it does is add more stress to the relationship, and no one wins these arguments.

    No one Wins Over Arguments

    In a previous discussion I went deeper into the best marriage advice online and does couples therapy really work?

    – Do not start any arguments with your partner and if he begins one then leave.

    – If he would like to go over matters, when he has actually soothed down then ask him.

    – Do not approach the marital relationship like a competitor.

    You are not wanting to prove who is best at relationships and who is to blame for it stopping working, but do approach it like a partnership that you both need to help each other with.

    Sit down with your husband/wife and calmly talk about any problems you have, if your marriage is heading for divorce perhaps discuss how to avoid divorce.

    Don’t argue with him however ask him exactly what he is feeling and how he thinks you can prevent and enhance the marital relationship divorce.

    To save your relationship take his answers into factor to consider along with your own sensations and attempt to work some compromise that will make you both feel better.

    If you handle the problem in a calm and fully grown method, you can between the two of you, and perhaps with marriage counseling, find how to avoid a divorce.

    Even if you believe you are sincere, but he/she is not, and that you can make positive changes, statements of demanding or pleading will only hurt chances for how to fix a failing relationship.

    – Can you stop a divorce after filing?

    It Takes a Readiness to do the Work

    You may, but typically there are issues that both parties need to work with to rather than dealing with a breakup to enhance the relationship.

    Telling him that you enjoy him or that you will do anything for him/her, is something you need to save for when communication and holiness within is found and connected, and you have your relationship back on track.

    When a relationship is in trouble and continuously arguing is happening, the biggest error that needs forgiveness is.

    Do not approach the marital relationship like a competitor to find who is best at relationships and who is to blame, because the ego is in charge then, and you’ll see you both ending the relationship.

    It may be time for leaving the relationship where healing after a breakup is your next phase if you simply can not reconnect and heal within your hearts.

    (I also suggest searching the web for further content that dives into the idea of getting back with your ex, if that may be in the cards, and sure ways to rekindle a relationship.)

    To success in life and love!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

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  • How to Deal With the Dilemmas of Gay Dating

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    Unhappy relationships, fights and breakups can mess up your mind and discourage you from dating again. But, one bad relationship doesn’t mean that you are not going to date anyone ever again. Look around, there are men out there who are just like you, and they’ve had breakups and broken hearts too. The moment you find the one who is truly in love with you, it will make you forget all those failed attempts.

    And when you do find a perfect match, many of you might have dilemmas that can break your burgeoning relationship. For this reason, you need to know what those gay dating dilemmas can be and what you can do to avoid them.

    ‘Let go’ of the past

    Every gay man has stories about ‘coming out’, childhood, parents, fear and broken hearts. But don’t let things that happened in the past affect your present or future. It was a thing of the past, so use it as knowledge & wisdom. Give a fresh and healthy start to your new relationship.

    Expensive dates when you are in different income brackets

    The difference in income can become a major cause of breakups. You have a higher income and want to plan expensive dates, and you’re ready to make all the payments. But this can sometimes offend the other person and you don’t even realize. So, you need to keep the other person’s feelings in mind and plan accordingly.

    Be a fearless gay dating guy

    First of all, you need to be yourself, one who is not afraid of dating. Even if you try to show that you are a fearless gay dating guy, if he feels that you are afraid, it means you probably really are. So, get things clear in your mind before you start dating as breaking someone’s heart isn’t good for either of you.

    Express your feelings

    Don’t hide your feelings from the person you love. Express your feelings but if you think you still need to wait for the right time, then do! Sometimes though, there is no right time to express your love, every moment is right, so just open up and don’t leave it too late. Today, a number of online sites offer gay dating tips, so take their help.

    Stop comparing

    You are special, unique, and nobody can compete with you. Stop comparing yourself with your boyfriend’s ex or anyone else as it will lead you nowhere and will just ruin your relationship.

    Communication is key

    Yes, when dating someone, you need to have adequate communication with each other. Whether you prefer to communicate via text, or calls, or in person, make sure that you have healthy conversations with each other. Also, if your mate prefers to talk over a call while you want to communicate via texts, there’s no harm picking up his call, rather than creating unwanted turmoil in a relationship.

    Be honest & open up in a genuine way

    Don’t just presume you’ll be able to be intimate with a new person on your very first date. Take your time, understand each other and then discuss if you can move further in your relationship. Only if the other person is comfortable, go ahead and make love.

    Today’s technologically advanced world helps you find a perfect match sitting at home. A number of online gay dating sites will help you search for a compatible match the easy way. Moreover, these sites sometimes also provide gay dating tips so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship.

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    Source by Sarah Scott

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  • Relationship Anxiety – Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Want to Marry Me?

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    Relationships aren’t always viewed as investments, but in many ways that’s exactly what they are. This is especially the case for a woman who is dating a man who is somewhat resistant to the idea of marriage. If you’re that woman, you know that you’ve invested a great deal of time and emotional energy into the connection. It’s understandable that you’d want and expect a diamond ring and a romantic wedding at some point, but what do you do if that end goal is nowhere in sight? If your boyfriend has made it clear to you that he’s not interested in marriage, you’re left flabbergasted. Before you throw in the towel and walk away from everything you two have built, you need some answers. Understanding why he isn’t feeling drawn towards marriage can help you overcome the problem and get things moving in a more positive relationship direction.

    Think About His Reasons for Not Wanting to Marry

    Obviously, by this point you and your boyfriend have discussed the issue of marriage and how you both feel about it. In all likelihood you’ve pushed your boyfriend to share with you where his reservations are coming from. Each man is unique which means that his reasoning for not wanting to take the plunge is going to be specific to him. Generally there are several common threads that seem to run through relationships in which the man isn’t in any rush to get married.

    One of the most common reasons why men refuse to make such a strong commitment is they sense that they’ll lose their own identity when they become a “husband.” Instead of being a self sufficient, single guy they suddenly become one half of a couple who are joined together forever. To most women this sounds like a dream come true but for a man who doesn’t feel emotionally mature, this can be a very frightening proposition. Not only does he see his own identity being pulled away but he senses that his role, from the wedding day forward, is simply to please his wife.

    Other men won’t get down on bended knee to make that all-important proposal because the financial aspect of it weighs heavily on their mind. Men want to be viewed as providers and if your man doesn’t have the means to support himself, let alone you and any potential children in the future, he isn’t going to want to take any steps towards commitment. He also likely won’t reveal his true motivations for not getting engaged. He doesn’t want you to think poorly of him. To a man the most important thing is that the woman he loves sees him as a hero in every sense.

    Devote Your Energy to Helping Him Overcome His Resistance

    There’s something to be said for not pushing a man to commit, but there are obvious exceptions every woman should be aware of. If you believe your boyfriend would love to be married, but he does have some lingering reservations that you’ve been able to identify, you can then start work on helping him move past those.

    It’s not advisable for you to sit down with a man who you believe is struggling with finances so you two can have an honest discussion about how he can’t afford a wedding, let alone an engagement ring. It is helpful if you share with him how you see marriage as an equal partnership and how important it is to you to contribute equally, always. If your boyfriend feels that some of the financial burden has been taken off his shoulders, in a very subtle way by you, that may steer him closer towards a proposal.

    You can also persuade your man to see the gains he’ll make in being married to you, as opposed to the losses he may believe he’ll suffer. If your guy is surrounded by single male friends, this may prove a bit more challenging, but don’t ever view it as impossible.

    Simply start mentioning how important you believe it is that couples always have their own interests. You could even bring up the example of a married friend of yours. Talk about how you think it’s great that her and her husband still have their own independent friends and that they each spend time apart from one another visiting with those friends.

    If your boyfriend senses that your attitude after you marry is going to be that of a woman who doesn’t want her husband spending all his time with her, he’ll be more inclined to see marriage in a much more positive light.

    Be Realistic About the Future of Your Relationship

    Even if you’ve determined why you believe your boyfriend is being hesitant about committing, and you’ve been working at getting him to move past his reservations, there is still a chance that he’ll refuse to marry you.

    If this is the case, it’s important that you look within yourself to decide if waiting endlessly is the right thing for you. Some people just don’t see marriage as something they want in their lives. If this depth of connection is important to you and your boyfriend has continued to resist, even after you’ve helped him understand the benefits of it, it may be time to rethink your future.

    You, and only you, can decide if marriage is a deal breaker within your relationship. If it’s vitally important to you that you two marry, share that with him and leave the ball in his court. If he continues to ignore your needs, you really have to consider whether a partner like that is truly the best choice after all.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • How Our Lifestyle Choices Are Causing Us to Sink Into Chronic Illness

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    Current science continues to demonstrate that the reason we move away from health and develop chronic illness is due to our environment rather than our genes. Less than 1% of chronic illness is truly genetic in nature. Essentially, this means that chronic illness is preventable.

    Yet over half of the American population has been diagnosed with a chronic illness and nearly 80% of all health care spending (doctors’ visits, prescriptions, hospitalizations, etc.) is a result of these conditions of lifestyle.

    This number is expected to rise astronomically over the next few years. In fact, many say this single problem will bankrupt our nation. Interesting. It’s particularly interesting since science tells us this is completely preventable!

    What are chronic illnesses? The list includes conditions such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, depression, infertility, autoimmune issues and disorders, Alzheimer’s, dementia, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, acid reflux, constipation, insomnia, decreased sex drive, and so on.

    With a list this expansive, it’s hard to imagine how we could possibly prevent these conditions from developing in the first place. They seem so unrelated. In order to understand our role in preventing chronic illness, first we must have a simple understanding of how chronic illness develops as a result of our environment.

    To explain how our lifestyle and environment relates to chronic illness, I’d like to share with you a visual that Dr. James Chestnut, B.Ed., M.Sc.,D.C.,C.C.W.P. of The Wellness Practice in Victoria, B.C. teaches. Imagine that when your life begins you are born into a pool of water. You have two items on you: inflatable water wings and an empty backpack.

    Your water wings have been inflated for you, but they have a very slow leak. The air in them is expected to last 120 years (the “healthy” human lifespan). As the air leaks out of them, you have less time left. It’s called getting older! If there’s no interference to these water wings, they’ll last you all 120 years.

    Each time you make a lifestyle choice that is incongruent with your innate genetic requirements for health, you add a “rock” to your backpack. Our blueprint for health and optimal function requires purity and sufficiency in the way we eat, move and think. This means, giving our bodies exactly what’s required for optimal health (purity) and providing enough of it (sufficiency).

    No where in our blueprint for optimal function do we find toxic and deficient choices of lifestyle. Toxicity and deficiency are incongruent with homeostatic cell function. Therefore, it’s these toxic and deficient choices that become the rocks in your backpack.

    These rocks (stressors) can come from any area of lifestyle: poor nutritional choices, sedentary living, being overweight, being chronically stressed out, having unhealthy relationships, taking toxic drugs, not feeling loved or appreciated, excessive negative stimuli, having poor posture, smoking or exposure to smoke, not enough time outside, and so on.

    So many of our toxic and deficient lifestyle choices are the direct result of an industrialized, “advanced” society. It’s hard to argue that we’re “advanced” in the area of health and wellness when we’re experiencing drastic increases in chronic illness in all age groups, despite our “advanced” efforts to treat these conditions.

    The rocks slowly sink us. They have a cumulative effect on our health over the years. At first, we may not notice. Eventually, we may realize that our day to day life has become more stressful and more of a struggle. Often, we’re not even sure how or when this happened.

    There isn’t a drug on the planet that can remove the rocks for you! That’s why treating the symptoms, or the effects of these rocks, is unsuccessful in terms of fixing the real problem. The drugs, in fact, can become yet another toxic rock. (Just listen to the side effects on any drug commercial!) Removing body parts doesn’t fare much better in solving the problem. We’re not sinking because of a lack of drugs or too many body parts! The body isn’t ‘stupid’. It’s displaying a perfectly normal physiological adaptation to an environmental stressor.

    The rocks have another effect on your overall health picture. As more rocks are added to your backpack and you sink increasingly lower, the pressure on your water wings is increased, forcing the air to escape at a faster rate. You lose your years of life faster than originally intended… you age faster.

    It’s these incongruent lifestyle choices, or stressors, that are the catalyst for chronic illness. These toxic and deficient choices result in what’s known as our allostatic load. A chronic allostatic load, as a result of months and years of incongruent lifestyle choices, changes our genetic expression, our cellular function, our physiology, our biology, our entire internal environment, and ultimately our expression of health. This is how chronic illness develops.

    It becomes self-evident that the way to restore health is to remove rocks from your backpack, thus reducing pressure on your water wings!

    Ultimately, this means reducing our toxic and deficient choices while increasing pure and sufficient choices. This changes our environment and changes the expression of our genetics. This is the science of Epigenetics – how our environment determines the expression of our genetic code.

    Thankfully, science has shown us the blueprint. We do know what choices move us toward health. We can fix the problem. Adopting a lifestyle similar to our earlier (and healthier) ancestors is the most successful way to meet our innate genetic requirements for health and wellness while preventing chronic illness.

    Note: Once again, the concepts in this article are attributed to Dr. James Chestnut, B.Ed, M.Sc, D.C., C.C.W.P.

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    Source by Colleen Trombley-VanHoogstraat

    Views: 0

  • The Success Avoidance Syndrom

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    Life is full of ironies and paradoxes. One of the most amazing of these is the human tendency to cry for and cling to those things that hurt them. As one notable poet put it, “people run for their chains.” Is it not amazing that people generally dislike prisons, and yet it is a known fact that many former prisoners would rather be in prison than out of it? How many people out there are clinging to and crying for relationships, and yet they fully know that those same relationships are dysfunctional and leading nowhere?

    How many companies, individuals and nations are tenaciously holding onto solutions that have passed their sale by date? How many people desire to lose weight and to be in good health, and yet daily crave for and indulge in those behaviors that negate this aim? My proposition is that there are many. Perhaps the most debilitating human condition is the success avoidance syndrome. Put simply, people have this tendency to want and wish for success, and yet simultaneously unwittingly avoid the things that make for success. They desire success but hasten their feet towards failure. Below is a synopsis of the traits of the success avoiding individual.

    o Risk Avoidance.

    Many people want to succeed in life but they are averse to risk. However, the very nature of success is that the greater the risk involved the greater the rewards. Every opportunity carries within it a certain amount of risk. To try is to risk failing; to propose is to risk being turned down; to love is to risk heartbreak; to advance is to risk repulsion and resistance; to lead is to risk criticism and being cartooned; to express yourself is to risk appearing a fool; to seek profits is to risk making losses; to put your views to the public (like I am doing now) is to risk being ridiculed; to trust people is to risk being disappointed; to be yourself is to risk being rejected; to be a copycat is to court frustration; to write an exam is to risk failure and disappointment; to communicate is to risk being misunderstood, to buy something is to risk dissatisfaction and dissonance; to get an insurance policy is to risk paying for a service that may never become necessary.

    It is true that risk is often uncomfortable. However, the alternative which is failure, frustration and underachievement is even worse. Not only is the alternative very discomfiting, but it is also painful. Any risk minimization strategy is therefore actually a success reduction mechanism. A faint heart never wins a fair lady, and there is no crown for the coward. It is that simple. The winners know that the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. After all to be alive is to risk dying some day and we will all die, so what is the big deal?

    Before we leave the subject of risk it is important to underline that there is a big difference between taking risks and taking gambles. To gamble is to put oneself at the mercy of fate and chance. With gambling one has no influence over the outcome at all and a good example is lottery. However, when one takes risk one does not become a prisoner of fate but remains a participator in a process in which the success is not guaranteed, but the chances thereof can be influenced by one’s own decisions and actions. There is no self determination with gambling, but the risk taker retains some control.

    o Failure Avoidance

    The person obsessed with avoiding failure learns to do nothing. It is only that person that never does anything, that never makes mistakes. In truth there is no effort without shortcomings. However, action is a progenitor of success and it follows logically that the person who never engages in meaningful and serious action by this very act of omission avoids success. Activity, of course is not to be confused with progress, but there can never be progress without activity. Failure avoidance is success avoidance. Period.

    Failure avoidance is a learnt habit. Research indicates that families, companies and environments replete with criticism, cynicism, pessimism, threats of punishment and motivation by fear are a good breeding ground for failure avoiders. To the contrary affirmation, recognition, acknowledgement, praise, reward and encouragement constitute the diet of the success pursuers. Creativity and innovation cannot co-habit with fear of failure and punishment.

    The failure avoiders are regulated by their fear of failure, but the winners are inspired by their dreams. In most cases the failure avoiders keep fresh the memories of their past failures, catastrophes, fiascos and heartbreaks. Their minds are filled with imaginations of pain and failure and negative outcomes. They always fear and expect the worst. They think in terms of and look for limits, but the winner thinks in terms of and looks for opportunities.

    The loser is therefore always running away from limits, while the winner is running towards opportunity. The winner recognizes that limits and opportunities are one and the same thing. The difference lies in the eye of the beholder and how he chooses to interpret what he sees. The failure avoider sees the challenges as stumbling blocks to be avoided but the winner sees them as stepping stones to be embraced and utilized. In truth every challenge brings with it an opportunity to grow, but it is easy to miss this opportunity if one sees it as a burden, problem or disappointment.

    What have you been avoiding all your life and of late? What have you been hesitating to do? Is it a conversation, telephone call or important decision? Whatever it is, take time to reflect on whether your avoidance does not constitute success avoidance. To be continued, expect some more.

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    Source by George Chingarande

    Views: 0

  • Timing Counts In A Relationship

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    Human beings are social animals. Most of us crave the comfort and warmth of sharing life experiences and love with others. Most of us crave the intimacy of a love relationship, with shared hopes, dreams, and adventures of life.

    We want deep and loving relationships, and they are a lot of hard work to make them happen. A friend of mine said, the dream is on the other side of the hard work.

    Having the dream is worth it. That makes the hard work worth it, too.

    Part of the hard work is being realistic about timing.

    Timing matters about dealing with things within a loving relationship.

    If your partner has had a lot of external conflict or stress in the day, it is probably not the best time to bring up talking about a new challenge you are interested in. It may be time to listen, to just be together, and to nurture, rather than a time to bring up additional conversation that may be stressful.

    Timing also matters in starting a new relationship. Being in a healthy place and relationship with yourself first gives a better chance of relationship success.

    What kinds of timing issues could there be?

    1. Work Stress. If your career is at a point where it is demanding 70 or 80 hour weeks, where you are exhausted the rest of the time and your mind is full of work challenges and solutions, it's probably not the best time to try to start a new relationship . Your date may very well feel neglected and overlooked. What can you do? Make some changes in your specify if you can. Or have a conversation, let the person know you're interested and that you need a bit of time to straighten things out. Either he or she accepts that and is willing to wait a bit, or not. You've taken responsibility, and need to accept both your situation and the response.

    2. Financial Difficulties. Tough financial times are not a good time to begin a relationship. Your partner could feel used as a money resource. You could embroil your partner in your problems rather than find common interests.

    3. Recent breakup. No matter how well you broke up, you will have some loss to deal with. It's best to heal from the baggage of your loss before you try to enter into a new relationship.

    4. Recent trauma. It could be a death in the family, an illness, the loss of a job, even being in an accident or a crime victim. The best idea is to work through your emotions over the trauma before investing in a new relationship. Things are going to come up until you deal that will interrupt and strain the exploration and fun you want to have.

    5. Long Distance. Relationships are hard enough without adding long distance. In a new relationship you want to get to know one another, spend time together, and share experiences. The honeymoon phase of a new relationship is precious. Resentments may occur that wouldn't happen without the distance challenge.

    Timing in Relationships is crucial. Stresses are going to happen. If you are in a committed relationship, seeking good timing counts, for dealing with life issues.

    Setting a time together to talk can be a good idea. For a new relationship, diving in when the timing is wrong is a set-up for failure and disappointment. The goal is love and happiness. Be mindful of timing.

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    Source by Annie Collyer

    Views: 0

  • I’m Angry That He Won’t Marry Me And This Is Hurting Our Relationship: Tips That Might Help

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    I sometimes hear from women who, after a set amount of time, begin to feel a little annoyance, frustration, anger, or resentment that they are not getting engaged or married. And, as time goes by these negative feelings build so that it begins to hurt the relationship. The great irony of all of this is that this whole process can actually make a marriage or engagement less likely so that it is a vicious cycle.

    I heard from a woman who said: “I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years. I hate calling him that, my boyfriend. We’re in our late twenties and that’s too old to be calling someone your boyfriend. At this point, we have lived together for two and a half years. He knows that I want to get married, but he’s dragging his feet. We own our apartment together, but other than this, there’s nothing legally binding us together. I worry that if something happened to either of us, the other wouldn’t have any legal standing to make decisions. I’m angry that he has put me in this position. I feel like he thinks that I’m good enough to live with but not good enough to marry. And I find myself short tempered and sarcastic with him because of my anger. At this rate, I feel like this whole process is going to hurt our relationship. I can’t seem to control my feelings. And I feel that I have a right to be angry. What can I do?” I will try to address these concerns in the following article.

    Understand That If Left Unchecked, This Cycle Really Can Harm Or Even Destroy Your Relationship: Many couples get caught in this cycle and they just sort of become so used to it that they start to envision that it is always going to be this way. They figure that no one is going to blink first so that they will sort of always be at a stand still, waiting to see who is going to make the first move. That’s why they often don’t even see the end of their relationship coming. This cycle has ended many relationships precisely because people begin to believe that nothing is ever going to change. And eventually, one or both of the parties decides that they just don’t want to live this way anymore.

    Consider Agreeing To Shelf The Issue And Then To Come Back To It At An Agreed Upon Time: Here’s what you have to understand. It’s possible that eventually, this issue will become a central problem in your relationship. And, when this happens, the whole dynamics of your relationship changes and this change is not for the better. It seems as if everything always come back to this one thing and you can’t seem to regain your footing or to move forward.

    It’s my experience and observation that it is better for you to put this issue on the shelf, for just a little while, if you find that it is deteriorating your relationship. Sometimes, when I explain this to folks, they think that I am telling them to give up or to just accept that he doesn’t want to marry you. This isn’t what I am implying at all. I am only saying that if you agree to shelf it and then to reevaluate, you gain a couple of things. First, you limit the damage to your relationship. In order for him to commit to you, he needs to have the peace of mind that the relationship is worthy of that commitment. The chances of this happening are less if you just can’t move past your differences of opinion on this topic.

    Second, if you can get him to agree to revisit this topic later, then he’s committed to thinking very seriously about committing at a later point in time. As far as I’m concerned, that is a huge gain and big bonus. Because as of right now, you don’t have that. And when you shelf the issue, you place your focus back on your relationship. The tension wanes and things can be good between you again. This way, when you two do discuss this again at that set time, your relationship will hopefully have recovered to the point where he is comfortable committing. If he is not, then it may be time to dig a little deeper to determine why he isn’t comfortable committing.

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    Source by Mari Deene

    Views: 0

  • Multi Level Marketing Advertising Ideas for Your Network Marketing Home Business

    Multi Level Marketing Advertising Ideas for Your Network Marketing Home Business

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    Advertising in Multi-Level Marketing is vital to any Network Marketing Business. Starting your Multi-Level Marketing business does not have to cost your hundreds or even thousands of dollars. I want you to read that last sentence again, because it is very important.

    When starting a business, be it a home based business or any other Multi-Level Marketing home business, you need to design a budget. You do not have to go broke starting your Multi-Level Marketing business.

    There are many great low cost and even FREE tools including advertising that will help jump start your Multi-Level Marketing business. Here are several FREE advertising ideas to help you start advertising your Multi-Level Marketing business.

    8 Multi-Level Marketing Advertising Strategies

    1. Writing Press Releases: Writing a press release is not difficult, it is not any different that writing any other type of document. Write a press release about your Multi-Level Marketing business, your product, your company opportunity, when you have accomplished a new level of achievement in your company’s compensation plan. There are so many reasons to write a press release, it creates great exposure for your Multi-Level Marketing business. Many websites offer tips on how to write a press release and where you can submit your press release. My favorite place is prweb they offer tips and ideas, and FREE posting of your press release.

    2. Submit Your Articles: There are many great websites and e-zines to submit your articles to. Make sure that your articles have great value to the readers and that it is informative. Writing articles is a great technique to brand you as an expert in your Multi-Level Marketing business. Having your articles listed on different websites and e-zines will allow other publishers to “borrow” your article for their website, e-zine or newsletter. You want to be sure to have your “bio” at the end of each article you write also make sure that you have a link to your Multi-Level Marketing business in your bio. Your “bio” stays attached to your article no matter where or who “borrows” your article. Keep in mind having one of your articles in one e-zine it could reach potential thousands of prospects.

    3. Write Blogs: Another great tool for your articles. Search Engines love blogs and the Search Engines spider’s blogs more often. Remember you can have several different blogs and I believe it is important to have several different blogs for your interests. For example, I have a few blogs at this time, one for recipes and cooking, one about my Multi-Level Marketing business and the third about Direct Sales and Multi-Level Marketing tips and tools. I also plan to set up a couple of other blogs in other areas of interest to me. On your blogs you should have links to your various websites, the e-zines where your articles are located. One reason for putting your articles not only on your blogs but other websites and e-zines is that more links coming into your personal website the better the rankings in the Search Engines and of course more potential customers and prospects to your website.

    4. FREE Advertising Websites: There are several of these websites on the internet. Google “FREE advertising websites” and you will get a multitude of websites to try. Remember consistency is the key here. A great way to see where you are getting your leads, from which advertising site is to use a different email address for each ad you place or you can put a different code in the ad; this helps to see what advertising website is generating the leads.

    5. Organize a FREE Seminar/Workshop: Sharing information that can be informative to others as well as bringing value to them is one way of creating relationships. Relationships are a significant part of growing your business and building trust with people. At the conclusion of your seminar or workshop you can share information about your Multi-Level Marketing business, service, and product or business opportunity. Depending on your product giving a FREE sample to each person attending along with your business cars is an excellent idea.

    6. Participate in Discussion Groups and Forums: There are many excellent discussion groups and forums covering a wide range of interests on the internet. Discussion groups and forums are a place to share your ideas, tips to give advice to others, brand you as an expert. Do not blast ads about your company, products, or business opportunity. That is not to say that you can never share your products or Multi-Level Marketing business opportunity, however, you are trying to build trust with people. Give advice or as the saying goes “give your two cents” about a topic. Start a topic that interests you and share your tips and ideas. Give people value and a reason to trust you.

    7. Email Signature: This is a very effective technique in creating publicity for your website. Do not make your signature too long or containing so much information. Keep your signature short, sweet and to the point. Use this signature not only on all your emails that you send out but any written letters. For example:

    Your Name

    Your Company’s name here

    http:// www. yourwebsite.com

    This tells people who you are, your company name and your website for them to go visit. Use this on everything that you send out of your home.

    8. Social Networking: Social Networking is all the rage these days and why not, this is an excellent method for branding yourself on the internet as an expert in your field of interest. Social Networking can promote your Multi-Level Marketing home business. There are numerous Social Networking opportunities available online. Here are a couple of my favorite Social Networking sites. You can see how I have accomplished my sites and you can promote your Multi-Level Marketing home business online. Remember how I have my sites set up and how I have them laid out will be different than yours. There is Facebook (the #1 place), Squidoo, MySpace, YouTube just to name a few.

    Multi-Level Marketing advertising strategies conclusion

    Multi-Level Marketing advertising is vital to your Network Marketing business. Without advertising either online or offline it would be very difficult to build your business into a success.

    Before you leap in head first you need to set a budget, not just for advertising but for all the costs involved in starting a Multi-Level Marketing home business. Not setting a budget could be the cause of your business not succeeding. It is far too easy to spend more money than you have; than your business can suffer and give you a bad outlook about Multi-Level Marketing. So work on a budget and stick with it.

    The advertising ideas listed here are just a few different ideas; pick a couple of these great ideas and master them and then integrate a couple of new ones as your Multi-Level Marketing business starts to grow.

    Starting with just a couple of the ideas rather than all of them will alleviate any stress of trying eight different advertising ideas. It can be very difficult to keep up and doing an excellent job.

    You also want to do a good job on each advertising idea to show off your business, products, Multi-Level Marketing business opportunity as well as brand you as an expert in your field.

    What do you think? Did I leave any Multi-Level Marketing advertising strategies out?

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    Source by Barb Sibbing

    Views: 0