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  • Am I Ordained To Marry?

    Am I Ordained To Marry?

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    One common question people ask us during counseling is whether they are ordained to marry or not. Few weeks ago, a sister walked up to me to ask if she was ordained to marry or not. I asked why she thought so. She said, her pastor taught them that it is written in Matthew 19:12 that some people were made to be eunuchs and therefore, not everyone is expected to marry. And now she was worried because of the series of disappointments she had experienced in her relationships. When I asked her whether they were equally taught how to differentiate between both groups she said that was why she came to ask me. I said she should have gone to her pastor to ask but she said she would not because they were more interested in how many souls they had won to Christ than their marital plans.

    Her vehement refusal to go to her pastor for counsel was a clear indication that she had gone through some elements of frustration. I don’t know how many people are in the same situation today. All I know is that someone will be free from this bondage today.

    Before I address the core issue, let me tell you that Christianity is a balanced relationship. The same God that says he that wins a soul is wise also says marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral, (Hebrew 13:4 NIV). The practice of holding back mature adults in church from marriage because you don’t want to lose them to other churches or distract them from actively engaging in church growth is unbalanced and unhealthy for the growth you desire. Marriage is an honor before God. It brings glory to God. Anyone that desires to marry should be encouraged before they begin to defy themselves right under your pulpit.

    My counsel is that while encouraging them to continue winning souls they should also be counseled on the right way to find the right kind of spouse and the right way to marry. Teach them to let their marriage become a plus to the church instead of minus. If you alone could chase one thousand souls, let you and your spouse join in marriage to chase after ten thousand souls.

    Matthew 19:12 says: ” For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it let him receive it.”

    The above scripture clearly defines the three categories of eunuchs. Our point of emphasis here shall be on those born eunuchs from their mothers’ womb. The other two are those forced into it and those that became so by their choice.

    When God created man in His image and likeness, He decreed that he should go into the world and multiply. That declaration is for you and me. The only approved way to achieve this multiplication is to marry legally and keep the matrimonial bed holy. You don’t need an angel to whisper into your ears that it is time to marry. The rules are there in the bible. That is not our focus for today anyway.

    Take example from Abraham, the father of faith. He didn’t need any prophecy to discern whether his son Isaac, needed a wife or not. All he needed was simple wisdom drawn from the Word of God. God told him during his call that through him the earth shall be populated with His new generation of children. He settled it in his mind to get a wife for Isaac to make that calling and purpose come to fruition. At the appointed time, he sent his servant, Eleazar to go to his kindred to get a wife for Isaac. You know the rest of the story in Genesis chapter twenty-four.

    God designed man with all the features required to perform all that He wants him to do on earth in the same way a manufacturer will not put his products in the market place without the inbuilt features to function. Signs of puberty, sexual emotions and strong attraction towards the opposite sex are some indicators that you are ordained to marry. When His due season is near, He begins to impress His desires in your spirit for onward transmission to these dormant sexual potentials in you and suddenly you will awaken to certain pressure in that direction. The bible says, ” it is God who works in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure”, Philippians 2:13. Marriage is one of the good things that bring pleasure to God. When you start feeling the urge or willingness to get married just know God has begun this good work in you. Anybody that has this urge or desire to marry is one of those God has ordained to marry. Period!

    To become a eunuch or to marry is your choice. God has given you the free will to decide it. He will not choose or impose any one on you. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because he wanted to use his life to serve God and not because God said he should not. His case should not become a doctrine to dissuade people from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives. He even admonished anyone that is unable to bear it to marry instead of burning in lust. If you choose to live a life of celibacy or choose to marry as you have desired, God is pleased with you. Do not allow previous disappointments dissuade you or make you start thinking that it might be that you are among the chosen eunuchs. You are ordained! If things are not working well, find out what you have not been doing right, keep correcting and working on yourself so God can connect you with the right kind of spouse.

    However, it does not mean you should rush into anyone because God has willed it so for you. There is period to find the right kind of spouse and there is time for preparation. My stake here is to let you know that these signs put you in the category God has ordained to marry. You do belong to the group of those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb.

    Parents should watch out for these signs in their children and wards. When these signs begin to show up, it is a signal to parents to start preparing their children or wards for the next phase of their lives. Unfortunately, many parents and guardians around these children do not always prepare them on time, and sometimes they misdirect them through wrong information. We owe the upcoming generation this responsibility as guardians. Those who fail at this level of parenting always regret it because late stitches steal real good time.

    Those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb do not have and will never have the urge to get married because they do not have the features in them. I do not mean those incapacitated by sickness, diseases and infirmities like down syndromes, depression or paralysis. These are healthy and virile folks who are repugnant to the site of the opposite sex. They never have any amorous feelings towards the opposite sex even when they are both nude in a secret room.

    Whether we choose to marry, remain single or born incapacitated, it does not make us sinners or better before God. He loves all of us equally, but it will please Him to see us fulfill His desires for us. I have cleared the obstacles before you. The onus is now on you to decide what you want. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because it was his choice. Apostle Peter did not divorce his wife because of God’s work, yet God accepted them all. Decide your case by yourself.

    Remain Blessed!

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    Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

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  • Why Customer Concentration Impacts a Business Sale Transaction

    Why Customer Concentration Impacts a Business Sale Transaction

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    Few owners recognize the major impact that customer concentration has on the sale of their business. Customer concentration represents a significant obstacle and will affect the salability, valuation, and deal structure of a business-for-sale transaction. Not only will it create problems in qualifying buyers but it will impact the ability for any prospective purchaser to obtain third party financing to complete the acquisition. Determining if customer concentration is present in an enterprise is a critical element of the succession planning process.

    Customer concentration is a situation when one customer represents a significant portion of revenues or when the business has a very small customer base. Based upon the expert one consults, the exact percentage for a concentration to exist varies. In most cases it is recognized when one customer represents more than 10% of sales or when the top five customers comprise greater than 25% of a company’s revenue. In either situation, a huge risk is created from the lack of diversification and steps to mitigate it should be taken years in advance of a planned business exit.

    When evaluating a business sale it is important for an owner to recognize that their client base has a significant impact on the enterprise value of the company. A broad and diverse base of customers where there are a large number of clients contributing to the business’ revenue will achieve a higher transaction value as it reduces the risk that a sizable decrease in earnings will occur if any one customer is lost or a particular industry segment that the business serves encounters economic distress.

    In addition to a lower sales price, businesses with customer concentration issues are more difficult to market for sale. For main street business transactions (those with adjusted earnings of less than $2mm) third party financing is used in the majority of cases. Businesses with high levels of customer concentration are very difficult to get financed. Lenders may provide only partial financing, offer sub-optimal terms, or decline the loan altogether. In situations where third party financing is not available, the pool of available buyers is significantly restricted and the terms of a deal could be heavily weighted on a contingent earn-out based on retaining the revenues derived by the largest customers. “Typically we want no customer concentration over a 10% level when considering financing an acquisition. Higher levels are possible with much more explanation and supporting documentation but remain a major concern” states Steve Mariani, President of Diamond Financial Services.

    Lastly, customer concentration will have a direct impact on the deal structure for the business sale transaction. Buyers will strive to bridge the customer concentration risk through a variety of delayed ‘performance based’ financing methods. For example: Assume both parties agree on a transaction price of $900,000 based upon $300,000 of adjusted earnings (a 3x multiple). If the key account in question represents $75,000 of the $300,000 this would represent $225,000 of the transaction price. A buyer will strive to isolate the $225,000 component to ensure that revenue is maintained post sale. After a period of 12 months, if the customer and income are still in place the seller would receive the funds. If the identified client and corresponding revenue was lost during this period, a pricing adjustment would be made.

    In situations where the buyer is unable to obtain transaction financing due to customer concentration issues, the seller might have to accept a “contingent earn-out” for the revenues derived from the largest customers, or worse, they may also have to finance a major portion of the “non-contingent purchase price” negotiated with buyers.

    Contingent payouts could be structured in a variety of methods:

    Earn-Out:

    Earmark part of the purchase price with payments made over a period of time contingent upon the retention of specific customers or achieving specific revenue targets.

    Escrow:

    A percentage of the acquisition price will be held in an escrow account for a specified time.

    Seller-Financing:

    The seller would be responsible for financing a major portion of the purchase price through a seller note. The seller note could be structured with contingencies for revenues derived from the largest customers.

    With any of these deal structuring techniques, the seller cannot be expected to guarantee the revenue in perpetuity and if the transaction price is based upon retaining one or more key customers, the seller may require more active involvement in maintaining the client relationship during the term of the agreement. Obviously, this brings an additional complexity to the transaction.

    In most cases, buyers will look to discount the amount they are willing to pay for a business (with high customer concentration) unless they receive assurances that the risk is low. While the obvious strategy to reduce customer concentration risk is to diversify and increase the business customer base, there are a number of situations where customer concentration either does not pose a significant risk or could be mitigated.

    Customer Contracts:

    Having a contract in place will not eliminate all of the risk of losing a key customer, but it will provide the buyer with security that the revenue and profits will continue after a change in ownership takes place. When customer contracts are involved, the ability to assign or transfer will be important to understand. In many cases, a stock sale vs. asset sale is elected to preserve these contracts.

    Barriers to Entry or Exit:

    Businesses could have intellectual property, product expertise, or patents that create competitive advantages barring competition. Others are located in geographically remote areas where the supply benefits discourage customers from changing the relationship. Lastly, there could be significant capital requirements for manufacturing and tooling or agency approvals (pharmaceutical or government contracting industry) that creates a barrier to entry from potential competitors.

    Providing a Variety of Products and/or Services:

    Having a broad relationship with a key customer where the relationship is not based solely on one product, one location, and one individual decreases the risk that a singular change will fundamentally impact the future revenue stream and continuity of the account.

    Economies of Scale or Synergies:

    The acquisition may be pursued by a strategic buyer where they are bringing new products/services to the enterprise, a broader geographic distribution footprint, or economies of scale in production. Any of these elements would assist in reducing the concentration of revenue risk that an identified key client would represent to the future organization.

    Summary

    Businesses which have high levels of customer concentration are inherently risky and it is important for the owner to appreciate this concern from the perspective of a potential acquirer. Ultimately, the buyer seeks only to retain the customers which have contributed to the success of the business and are factored in the valuation and transaction price. From the position of a buyer a few logical questions and concerns would be:

    1. How does the value of the company change if a customer representing 10% or more of revenue and/or profits is lost in the first year?
    2. How easy would it be for the client representing the customer concentration concern to leave the business?
    3. What unique situations exist within the business to preserve the customer relationship in the years ahead?
    4. What are the logical steps and corresponding costs to mitigate the customer concentration risk?
    5. How do I achieve a win-win transaction? Protecting me, the buyer, against the risk of a near term revenue loss while providing the seller with the proper remuneration for the fair market value of their business?

    While the risk may not be able to be totally eliminated, there are a number of situations where customer concentration is more palatable and a proper explanation should be provided to the buyer at the earliest opportunity. Getting out in front of this potential challenge is critical to achieve a win-win deal. When good communication exists, and two fair and reasonable parties are at the table, there are a number of structuring options available, when necessary, to mitigate the risk and negotiate a fair and reasonable transaction price. Obviously, the best approach for a prospective business seller would be to develop and implement plans to reduce any customer concentration elements years in advance of a business exit. Eliminating this type of risk is just sound advice for any small business owner regardless of whether a sale is contemplated.

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    Source by Michael Fekkes

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  • Wisdom For Living

    Wisdom For Living

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    Do you have wisdom? Wisdom is the key to successful living on earth. Lack of it is to be groping in the dark and be surrounded by great woes, wailing and destruction. Wisdom makes the difference between success and failure, life and death, poverty and prosperity, health and sickness. Possession of wisdom is to possess life.

    “I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge and discretion… I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me. Riches and honor are with me, enduring riches and righteousness… The Lord possessed me at the beginning of His way, before His works of old… Then I was beside Him as a master craftsman; and I was daily His delight, rejoicing always before Him… – Proverbs 8:12, 17-18, 22, 30 (NKJV).

    The Lord founded the earth by wisdom (Proverbs 3:19) and so man needs wisdom to be able to occupy her successfully. Wisdom is the principal thing to possess in order to enjoy living on earth. Every challenge in life is basically a wisdom problem and to have wisdom for any challenge is to have 50% of it solved.

    Wisdom was God’s master craftsman in creation. He utilized wisdom to successfully create all we see, use and enjoy. With wisdom you have prudence, knowledge and discretion; a complete package that will help you not to stumble or make mistakes in your words and action.

    The choices you make are measures of the wisdom available to you. The more the wisdom you acquire the better your choices and the outcomes you get. It is your responsibility to go for wisdom in all areas of your life. You need wisdom to live a victorious Christian life and also to live every phase of your life very well and remarkably: as a child, student, worker, spouse, parent, friend, leader, neighbour, colleague, group member, boss, employee and client. The list can go on and on. Your level of wisdom will affect your relationship with others and so is important that you possess it.

    Your tomorrow is a product of your application of wisdom today. The wisdom seeds you plant today grow and add up to give you a glorious future. The wisdom steps you take today will take you to your ultimate peak tomorrow. The prize you pay today to get wisdom cannot be compared to the returns that will come to you in future. The outcome of wisdom is worth all you have to put in or sacrifice to get it. The success of your life depends on it, so go for the wisdom for living.

    The word of God (The bible), which is the bag of wisdom seeds, has all the wisdom you need to live a triumphant life on this earth. Search the word for them, for whoever finds wisdom finds life and obtains favour from God.

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    Source by Ngozi Nwoke

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  • Learn How to Cultivate Self-Discipline As a Success Mindset

    Learn How to Cultivate Self-Discipline As a Success Mindset

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    Do you understand the connection between what you think and the success you experience, or do not experience, in your job or career? If you could learn to discipline your thoughts towards an attitude of success, do you believe it is possible you could in turn become successful?

    There is a well-known phrase that talks about the importance of working smarter and while there are many interpretations of what it can mean, overall it is meant to emphasize the benefits of being focused, disciplined, and working hard. Hard work is the backbone of any career but over time, and when routine work habits are established and set in, the effort that a person exerts may become conditionally based. It could be due to a person’s perception of a “bad” boss, poor working conditions, not receiving a pay increase or recognition for their effort, and the list continues. While there may certainly be merit to these feelings, it serves no real purpose to make working hard a conditional characteristic of your job performance.

    If you care about your career development then working hard needs to be a top priority every day. However, hard work may seem unjustified if a person’s expectations are not being met and that is where self-discipline comes into play. It is a matter of always being in control of your performance and responsible for the quality of your work. It also involves making a commitment to yourself and your career, one that is not dependent upon circumstances or influenced by circumstance no matter how challenging it may seem at the time. This will allow you to become disciplined and know that your best performance depends upon consistent effort, which establishes a mindset of career success.

    Why Self-Discipline Matters

    The development of a disciplined mindset allows you and your job performance to shine; whereas, the lack of intentional discipline sets you up for failure. Self-discipline is based upon a logical and rational perspective, is focused on being in control, and prompts the use of productive work habits. It is proactive with regards to job duties and career development, and it requires concentrated effort rather than striving to achieve absolute perfection.

    Without self-discipline a person is more likely to be impulsive and unfocused, act based upon emotional responses, and be reactive to circumstances. It is easy to begin to work on becoming self-disciplined, whether or not it is a habit now, if you start by establishing an intention and make it a goal to perform your best at all times. It does not require prolonged struggle, only career goals. You can make choices based upon what is best for your job and/or career. Self-discipline involves maintaining control over your attitude, mindset, emotions, and thoughts at all times.

    Discipline and Doing Your Best

    Your job has a specific description, or at least an expectation of what it is you are supposed to accomplish. Over time, and as you become familiar with the daily tasks, you can determine what the minimum amount of effort is needed to complete the required duties and that may be enough for you to feel good when the workday ends. Then there are circumstances that influence the amount of effort you put in. There may be too much work, an upcoming deadline, or person in authority who is pressuring you to take on more work. You may willingly or grudgingly do more as requested; however, when you stop to consider this job do you realize it is your career at stake?

    The attitude you develop about your job will also influence the attitude you have about your career development and progress. If your job performance involves putting in the minimal effort it is usually accompanied by feelings of job dissatisfaction and that may create a negative mindset about your career. It means you view your effort from the perspective of what you get from the job rather than what you can gain from it in the long term. When you are disciplined you maintain behaviors and an attitude that bolsters your daily productivity, which also provides you with the confidence needed to excel even when circumstances are less than perfect.

    Learn to Develop Purposeful Intent

    How do you feel good about a job and maintain that attitude, even when circumstances cause you to dislike it? You cannot force yourself to feel positive emotions when there are events or people who prompt negativity or feelings of frustration. What you can do is to change your perspective and that is where self-discipline matters. You can decide that you are going to feel good about yourself as a professional or as an employee despite the current conditions and anchor it to a position statement that is focused on your career goals. This allows you to create a disciplined mindset with purposeful intent and focus.

    Your career is a series of steps and progress will occur over time and for some it will be accomplished through more than one position or job. At the heart of this is you as a person, and it is you who has an ability to learn and grow. With purposeful intent you can view each job as a stepping stone, which provides skills, knowledge, and direction. If one job does not meet your expectations or provides difficult conditions to work in, itemize what you have gained from it, list this information on your resume, and decide upon your next step. But no matter what, always make certain you have a disciplined focus or you will venture off course in your job and career plans.

    Consider How an Employer Views Your Disposition

    Consider for a moment that you are a hiring manager. What is the type of candidate you would consider hiring, if you were looking at more than the job description? Is it someone whose tone displays obvious frustration and does not seem to have much to say that is positive about their current employer or existing job? That is not a likely candidate for an employer based upon their attitude alone.

    Now consider a candidate who comes along and has a professional presence, demonstrates a clear understanding of their career path or goals, and can articulate what they have gained from each of the jobs they’ve held throughout their career. That is a candidate who will likely gain your interest, even if they are not considered for the position, because they have demonstrated a disciplined mindset.

    The point of reviewing these scenarios is to show the contrast between someone who possesses an underlying feeling of career helplessness or career control, which also demonstrates the difference between a disciplined and undisciplined mindset. If would like to be the candidate who is likely to get hired, establish a goal to be highly disciplined and productive.

    Your disposition will carry over into the tone you convey when you speak with potential employers, along with your overall attitude about career development. As a professional resume writer I can spot a person’s disposition through their choice of words and how they describe their jobs when I talk to them. Someone who is disciplined and views all jobs as a learning experience has self-confidence about who they are and the talents they possess, regardless of job conditions or circumstances.

    How to Develop Self-Discipline and Focus

    Career Planning: You can begin to develop a hard-working, self-disciplined mindset right now by first examining your career plans. If you cannot articulate the specifics of your career, now is the time to get started. At the very least, decide upon a short-term and a long-term career goal. This will give you a sense of direction, one that can help you find what can be learned instead of focusing on existing working conditions.

    The purpose of developing a career plan is to provide you with an ability to create purposeful intent. When you walk into the workplace each day you can remind yourself you are able to learn from any situation, even if what you learn is that you are no longer growing or moving forward in your career.

    Learning and Growth: An important component of a disciplined mindset is maximizing your learning and growth potential. If you have developed a productive working relationship with your supervisor or manager, ask them if there is more that you can do. For example, perhaps you can take on an extra project that is based upon a departmental or business need. To some people this may seem to be counter-intuitive and an attempt to become the “teacher’s pet” – or some other type of negative phrasing.

    If you are asking from a perspective of having a genuine interest and seeking professional development, and the need is recognized, this will create a feeling of accomplishment within you. As you continue to work hard you may even extend the timeline that you work for this particular employer. You will also likely be viewed as valuable employee, although the ability to remain disciplined will matter most in the long term for your career.

    Self-Discipline as a Success Mindset

    Becoming disciplined can have a variety of descriptions, including working hard, attaining maximum productivity, or maintaining a focus on what must be accomplished every day. The most meaningful correlation between a focused mindset and effort is the development of peak performance. This working definition speaks to the heart of what working to the very best of your abilities should mean. It is striving to maximize your performance with your current skills and abilities while being open to learning and development, and putting in more than the minimum effort required.

    There are going to be times when you aren’t at the top of your game and that is certainly understandable. There will be some days that you find yourself working to the very best of your abilities and other days that find you putting in the best effort possible. The importance of being disciplined means that you do not allow job conditions be the reason why you are not functioning at peak productivity; whether there are new policies to adapt to, additional demands made of your job, or other circumstances.

    You can always be in control of your actions and strive for peak performance as a matter of your career development. Learn to develop self-discipline as a mindset and attitude about how you work every day and watch your career continue to evolve as this sense of self is reflected in the outcomes you experience, both personally and professionally. The most effective way to be in control of your career and establish a pattern of success is to control how you think and how you work. Self-discipline is a productive state of mind and focused attitude that you can implement starting now. When your attitude is honed on performing your best, you will find yourself mentally resistant to adverse conditions and ready for new career opportunities. You are mentally disciplined and both you and your career are transformed.

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    Source by Dr. Bruce A. Johnson

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  • 7 Qualities of a Good Wife – Part I

    7 Qualities of a Good Wife – Part I

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    Whether you’re a man looking for a good wife or a wife wanting to improve yourself, your marriage or your relationship – take a look at these 7 qualities of a good wife. Good fruit will come from these basic qualities anyone can develop.

    7) Nag free. Ladies, a good wife is going to be nag free. Nagging is an ineffective method of trying to get your husband to perform a task you desire. Trust me ladies – it doesn’t work and often will have the opposite of its intended affect.

    6) Supportive. Are you supportive? What does it mean to be supportive? Do you belittle your man or do you help him to feel good about himself, his job, activities? Your husband will be much more respectful of you if you support him. Even when you don’t agree with him – respectfully let him know you don’t agree – then support him anyway. Otherwise, if he has difficulties – he’ll feel as though you’re adding to his troubles.

    5) Build up your man. Ladies, there’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him – especially in front of others. On the flip side – try genuinely complementing your husband in front of other people. Your husband will glow with admiration toward you and you’ll feel his appreciation as love.

    4) Keep him happy in the bedroom. Unfortunately, many women underestimate the importance of keeping her man’s needs met. Often this comes from the basic differences in women and men. For men, sexual desire is much like physical hunger and if it’s not fed properly – the relationship will struggle. Women must look to understand the needs of the man from his perspective not hers.

    3) Respect. A good wife will try to treat her man with respect. How? Much of learning how to be respectful toward your husband has to do with the way you talk to him. The old phrase “It’s not so much what you say but how you say it” should become a wife’s motto. This doesn’t mean you need to be careful what you say to your husband – just be respectful in the way you say it.

    2) Communicate. Ironically, good communication between men and women can be quite frustrating. However, a good wife will seek to discover what’s on her mind and find a way to express herself to her husband. Often, men and women will make a joint decision – while the man thinks she’s in agreement with him – but only to discover later that she thought the decision was a bad idea.

    1) Be pleasant. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who makes everyone around you feel bad just because you’ve had a hard day. Good things will come from being pleasant. It’s a decision – just decide to be pleasant. But if you can’t be pleasant – make a decision not to bring him down with you.

    Marriage & Love Blog

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    Source by Edward Welch

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  • Teen Relationships

    Teen Relationships

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    Before I start to talk about teen relationships I feel I have to make a clarification. Many people when they think of the word relationship, automatically equate it to love or sexual relationship. According to the general definition of relationship this is any connection between two or more elements and these elements can be anything from chemical substances to human beings. So from this definition it is simple to deduct the meaning of this word applied to human beings. A teen relationship can be any kind of relationship

    1. between teens of the same gender
    2. between teens of the opposite gender, like boyfriend girlfriend relationships
    3. between teens and other persons of the same or different gender and different age.

    The quality of these relationships can also vary, but there are two kinds of teenager relationships I’m going to talk about here;

    • teen friendships and
    • teen love relationships

    Teen Friendships

    This kind of teenager relationship will fit into all three categories above. It can exist between a teenager and other persons of same or different gender and age. A good friend – no matter age or gender – is one of the best things you can have on this earth. A really good friend that is special to you and means much to you. A person that is always there for you.

    Many successful love relationships has started with friendship and this is probably the reason for it’s success. The better you know the other person, the better you’ll go along with him or her and in a long lasting love relationship – as man and woman – your appreciation of your partner as a friend will mean much more than anything else. If we look at it from the other end, it seems much more difficult to build a friendship from a love or sexual relationship. In fact, I have not heard about it, maybe you have but the point is that a good friendship is always good to have both as a basis of a future love relationship and as a friendship by itself.

    A teenage friendship can exist between anyone no matter what gender, age, race, background or whatever. A 13 year old girl and a 50 year old man can have a great and even lifelong friendship together as well as two teenagers of the same gender.

    Teen love relationships

    While you can talk quite frankly and straight forward in a friendship most of us are more aware of not hurting the partner in a love relationship. This can evolve to a degree of lies and even no communication at all just to protect your partner.

    There are also more mutual expectations in a love relationship and more intimate emotions are involved than in a good friendship. A teen love relationship can be great and long lasting but if there is no basis of friendship in it the probability of sustaining it is significantly lower. There are some legally defined limitations with regards to who can go into a teen love or sexual relationship. It is illegal for people of 18 years and above to have a sexual relation to a minor but It is definitely not illegal to have older friends.

    A good friendship is one of the best gifts God has provided our lives with and even if you marry the sweetest boy or girl in the world, neither of you will be happy if you aren’t good friends.

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    Source by Terje Ellingsen

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  • Emotional Self: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up Disconnect From Their Emotional Self?

    Emotional Self: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up Disconnect From Their Emotional Self?

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    Although human beings are made up of many different selves, such as an intellectual and an emotional self, it doesn't mean that everyone on this planet is in touch with each of these selves. If someone is in touch with each part of themselves, it could be said that they will be operating as a whole human being.

    One will be able to think clearly and they will be in touch with their feelings. Through being this way, it will be possible for them to not only perform a certain job well, they will also be able to form deeper connections with others.

    One Benefit

    This is because their emotional self will be what allows them to truly connect with others, whereas their intellectual self alone is not going to allow this to take place. Furthermore, their emotional self will also provide them with guidance.

    So, when it comes to whether or not they should do something or if they should say yes or no, for instance, this part of them will give them the information that they need. This part of them will tell them what their needs are.

    It Doesn't Stop

    One way of looking at this would be to say that their emotional self is their inner guidance system. No matter what time of the day it is or where they are, this part of them will always be there.

    To live a fulfilling life, it will be essential for them to listen to this part of them and to utilize the information that it provides. Going against this part of them is only going to cause them to suffer unnecessarily.

    Off Track

    If one was to look back on their life, they may see that there have been times when they have ignored this part of themselves. Consequently, it might not have been long until they paid the price.

    Then again, there may have been a time in their life when this was just how their life was, meaning that ignoring themselves was normal. They are then going to be only too familiar with what it is like to ignore this part of themselves.

    Inner Directed

    Being this way doesn't mean that one will completely overlook other people needs; what it means is that they won't be interested in living a life where they ignore their needs and are totally consumed with other people's needs. Putting their own needs to one side from time to time is going to be radically different to always doing this.

    Also, being connected to how they feel doesn't mean that they will constantly be expressing how they feel, either. They will realize that there is a time to express how they feel and a time to keep how they feel to themselves, containing what is taking place within them.

    Another Reality

    If someone isn't in touch with their emotional self, only having a connection to their intellectual self, they are not going to be operating as a whole human being. As a result of this, they probably won't have a very good connection with their body.

    There is then the chance that they won't have trouble thinking clearly, but that it will be a challenge for them to connect to how they feel and to know what their needs are. When they are at work they could be fine, yet when they are around others, it could be a different story.

    Unaware

    Due to being out of touch with their emotional self, their connections with others are unlikely to be very deep. And if they are in a relationship, their partner could often tell them that they are distant and even emotionally unavailable.

    Still, one could be out of touch with this part of themselves and not even realize it. There can then be moments when they feel empty, and they may see that they don't feel strongly connected to anyone, but it doesn't mean that they will look into what is going on.

    Enough is enough

    If someone like this was to get to the point where living in this way was too painful, no longer wanting to feel cut off from themselves, others or even numb, they could end up looking into what is going on. What they could find out is that the reason they are experiencing life in this way is because they have experienced trauma.

    Disconnecting from their body, along with their emotional self in the process, was a way for them to survive what happened to them. Thus, in the same way that they would leave an environment if it was dangerous, they left their body as it was too painful for them to inhabit it.

    In The Past

    This may relate to what they have been through as an adult or it could go back to what took place during their early years. If it goes back to their early years, there is the chance that they were abused and / or neglected.

    This would have been a time when they were not equipped to deal with a lot of pain, yet their whole system would have felt overwhelmed on a daily / weekly basis. The only way for them to handle this pain would have been to leave their body.

    Awareness

    What kept them alive as a child is now going to be making their life harder than it needs to be. Even so, this is not to say that one should try to dive into their body and to deal with the pain that is there.

    For one thing, this approach could end up overwhelming them, but, as they have been out of touch with their body for so many years, it is highly unlikely that they will just be able to get back in there. Getting back in touch with this part of them can take a little while, irrespective of how committed they are.

    If one can relate to this, and they want to become an integrated human being, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

    Views: 0

  • Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony

    Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony

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    The formula for marital harmony and success is not a mysterious secret. It’s actually very straightforward.

    The “behind the scenes” part is the constant work that’s required to keep the channels of love and communication clear from obstruction. Diligent spouses consistently spend time and energy addressing issues as they come up so that anger and hurt feelings don’t accumulate.

    Spouses who want satisfying marriages also look for ways to keep their love strong, such as remembering to show affection and appreciation frequently. They know that the more they feel connected and bonded, the more motivated they will be to resolve problems and hang in there when things are difficult.

    The following eight steps will guide you in looking at what you can do to increase your chances for creating a happy, harmonious marriage:

    1. Work on yourself and your own issues that you brought with you into the marriage.

    Many responses that you have to your spouse’s actions are triggered by past events going back to your childhood. If one of your emotional wounds is feeling disrespected, then when your partner inadvertently does something that triggers those feelings, you’ll experience an intense reaction. Individual counseling can help you to be more self-aware of what’s behind your intense reactions and what you can do so that you don’t over-react to issues in your marriage.

    2. Avoid blaming your partner for problems in the marriage.

    Blame only causes the other person to become defensive and angry, and it decreases the probability that the two of you can find a win-win solution to your problems. When you focus on blaming your spouse for what’s happening in the marriage, you are planting seeds of resentment that can hurt the relationship. A marriage is composed of two people, and each contributes to the quality of the relationship and shares responsibility for it.

    3. Be empathetic and put yourself in your partner’s place when issues come up.

    Really try to understand where your partner is coming from when you disagree or when your partner does something that you can’t make sense of. Ask your spouse to talk about his or her feelings. Listen respectfully and ask your spouse to clarify points that you don’t understand. Develop a curiosity for learning more about your spouse’s feelings and take special care to create an emotionally safe environment for the discussions with your spouse.

    4. Look for ways to make your partner’s life easier and to show your love.

    Many of the irritants and stressors in modern day life are the little things—the extra time it takes to pick up the cleaning on the way home from work or to put the clean dishes in the dishwasher away. When you see some errand or task that you can do to save your partner time, offer to do it.

    Look for opportunities to give your spouse a few minutes to relax or have downtime. Watch for things you can do to pamper your partner when you can. It’s often the little things that can make a big difference in marital happiness and satisfaction.

    5. Express appreciation often and say form the habit of saying “thank you.”

    As months and years go by, many spouses take each other for granted and neglect to express appreciation or say “thank you” to each other. Numerous spouses complain that their partners only focus on what they do wrong and never compliment them.

    It’s sad to think that the one person who means the most to you might have to wonder whether or not you appreciate them. Let your spouse know how much he or she means to you on a frequent basis. Give compliments and praise freely, and express thanks for all that your partner does to enrich your life and marriage.

    6. Apologize quickly and sincerely, taking responsibility for your part in whatever happens in the marriage.

    The truth is that sometimes it’s hard to say “I’m sorry.” That’s when it’s time to remember the question, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?”

    Accept that things don’t always make sense in a relationship and that confusion and misunderstandings can happen easily. It’s a mark of maturity when you can say, “I’m so sorry for my part in what has happened between us.”

    7. Have interests, hobbies and activities in your life that you enjoy so you’re not thrown off center so easily if you have a tiff or quarrel with your spouse.

    It’s important to have interests and activities of your own that are satisfying to you that can help to keep you balanced and anchored if other areas of your life are upsetting. That way, you can more easily regain a sense of perspective and be able to withstand the on-going stress.

    For example, if you and your spouse are encountering some rocks along the relationship path, you could go on a long bike ride, go fishing with a friend, visit a museum, or read an interesting book. Those activities and interests can add pleasure to your life to help balance out the temporary problems in your marriage. You’re always ahead of the game when you know some ways to lift your spirits.

    8. Look for fun activities and bonding experiences to share with your mate.

    Be on the lookout for activities that could be fun for you and your spouse to do together. Search the local newspaper for plays, concerts, new movies, museum exhibits, neighborhood fairs and festivals, and new restaurants that are advertised. Laughter and having fun is bonding and can help to create those “Kodak moments” that are so delightful.

    Also look for activities that represent causes you and your spouse believe in, such as spending a Saturday helping a local charity with a garage sale or volunteering together at a local soup kitchen. These experiences can serve to remind you of what you have in common with your spouse and of how good it feels to be working in unison with a shared purpose.

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    Source by Nancy Wasson

    Views: 0

  • Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

    Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

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    If one was single and they were to meet someone who showed a lot of interest in them, they could find that they end up being drawn to them. And what might also play a part here is that one may be physically attracted to them.

    Through being in this person’s presence, one could start to experience a lot of positive feelings. In a way, it could be as if this person is a breath of fresh air; with them being someone who has come into their life to make it better.

    A Fast Build Up

    After the first encounter, it might not be long until the other person is acting in a ways or talking about things that wouldn’t usually take place or be mentioned for quite some time. It will be clear that the other person doesn’t want to take their time and to allow everything to develop organically.

    It will be like starting in first gear and going straight into the last gear; instead of starting in first and gradually moving through each gear. At this point, one could have put their thinking brain to one side and be completely caught up in what is going on.

    For Example

    So after one has had their first encounter with this person, their phone could constantly go off. This can be a time when this person will message and call them, telling them how much they like them, how special they are and the type of things that they want to do with them, for instance.

    This person could also say that they should move in together and go into what their future will be like. Additionally, one may find that this person sends them gifts while they are at work and they could come across love notes and letters from them.

    The Next Stage

    After they have seen each other a few times or only known each other for a matter of weeks, the other person could ask them if they are now in a relationship. They could even go one step further than this by talking about how much they love them.

    And if they do end up moving in together after such a short period of time, one could spend even less time with others. In fact, ones whole life could end up revolving around their partner – someone they have only just met.

    On Top Of the World

    At this point one could feel as though they are on cloud nine, with them basking in positive feelings and the loving behaviour of their partner. Nonetheless, it might not be long until their partner starts to change.

    Now that this person has pulled one in, they could end up trying to control how they live their life. If one doesn’t do what they want, they might find that their partner leaves or that it is not possible to get hold of them.

    Hot and Cold

    This person will have done everything that they could to warm them up in the beginning and, how that they have them in the palm of their hands, so to speak, they will take advantage of them. Due to their fear of losing their partner and being rejected and/or abandoned, one can have the need to do whatever their partner wants them to do.

    If this means no longer seeing their friends and family, putting their interests to one side and/or neglecting their own health, for instance, they will do it to try to regain their ‘love’. Ultimately, one will have become hooked on their partner’s attention or the dopamine that they trigger inside them, which is why they won’t feel good when their attention is no longer there.

    Drawing the Line

    One could then do what their partner wants and before long, they could pull away again. They might turn up in a few days or it could be a number of months before they reappear.

    Clearly, having this person in their life is not doing them any good, and the sooner they cut their ties with them the better. There are a number of things that they can do to gradually get back on their feet and to regain their energy.

    A Few Steps

    Firstly, it will be a good idea for one to no longer speak to this person in person, over a screen, or over the phone. If this person won’t accept this, one may need to get in touch with the police.

    Secondly, it will be good for them to get back in touch with family and friends, so that they can go over what took place and gain their support. Thirdly, taking time to do what they enjoy will make it easier for them to take their mind of this person, and, fourthly, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.

    Stepping Back

    It could be said that just about anyone could be love bombed, yet there are going to be things that will make one more susceptible to this type of behaviour. And if one has gone through this experience on more than one occasion, it is likely to show they need to take a deeper look into why this keeps taking place.

    However, this is not about one blaming or shaming themselves for what has taken place; it is simply about them taking a step back and looking into what they might need to do to prevent this from taking place again. This is about awareness as if one can see that there is a reason why this keeps taking place; they can do something about it.

    A Closer Look

    If they were to do this, what might become clear is that they don’t feel good about themselves. Therefore, as soon as someone comes along and gives them so much positive feedback, they drink it all up.

    Said another way, they are in a position where they desperately want someone to love them. Consciously or unconsciously, a love bomber realises this and ends up exploiting their weakness.

    An Easy Target

    If one did value themselves, they wouldn’t need as much from another person, and this would enable them to be more discerning when it comes to who they allow into their life. And as opposed to feeling good when another person comes on strong right at the start, they might end up feeling as though something isn’t right.

    They might realise that as this person knows very little about them, it probably shows that they are trying to manipulate them. The love that they have for themselves will also allow them to have strong boundaries.

    Additional Points

    Furthermore, through valuing who they are, they would most likely have a number of close friends who they can share their life with. These people would then be there to give them feedback and to support them.

    Another part of this is that one would also do things that they enjoy and this would strengthen them and fill their life with meaning. They would value themselves enough not to neglect themselves.

    The Reason

    If one was to find that they don’t value themselves, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time in their life when they were abused and/or neglected.

    Thanks to how they were treated, they would have come to believe that they were worthless and they may carry the pain of being rejected and abandoned. Being treated badly is then going to be something that feels comfortable at a deeper level.

    Awareness

    If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace their inherent value, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

    ​

    There will be the negative beliefs that that they need to question and replace, and there will be the emotional wounds that they need to heal. The main thing is that one does what they need to do and doesn’t give up on themselves.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

    Views: 0

  • Tips to Help You Put Together an Effective B2B Sales Strategy

    Tips to Help You Put Together an Effective B2B Sales Strategy

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    If you are a B2B business owner, make sure you reevaluate your sales strategy from time to time. Since this is the age of the Internet, product / service related information is easily available to B2B buyers. Given below are a few tips and tricks that can help you put together a solid sales strategy.

    Research your Customers

    First off, you may want to call your prospective leads right away. Actually, you should give them some time to do their homework before you ask your sales reps to contact them. You can take a look at their sites and then follow them on major social media websites, which will give you a pretty good idea of ​​which leads you should target.

    Train your Sales Reps

    Also, make sure your sales representatives have good knowledge of your products and services. In other words, they should have solid know-how of the features and functions of your products. With this knowledge, your sales reps can find it easier to convince your customers.

    Ask Questions

    Once you have done your research, you can give a call to the qualified leads. The idea is to find out more information about them and the problems they have been facing. For the resolution of their problems, you can recommend your products or services.

    Listen More

    Make sure you can communicate well with your target customers. Learn to listen to them and then present your services as a solution to their problems.

    Here, it's important to keep in mind that an effective sales strategy should revolve around the customers instead of your products alone.

    Have a Consultative Approach

    If you want to grow your B2B sales, make sure you have something to give to your customers. For instance, you can provide good advice and general tips that can help your customers grow their business using what you offer. You can even recommend good online courses, blogs, and books.

    Develop Relationships

    If you have some customers who show some interest in your offers, don't push them to sign a deal. Instead, give them enough time to think about the deal. Offering a free of charge demo is also a great idea.

    Remember: developing a strong business relationship is a lot more important than the deal. What you need to do is work on building a strong reputation as an honest business advisor.

    Have a Customer-Oriented Approach

    As far as a B2B sales strategy is concerned, it's important to show empathy towards your customers. The more you do it, the better. Also, make sure your teams communicate with each other to find out more about what your customers want. This will help your teams get equipped with more knowledge.

    In the same way, make sure your sales team knows everything about what they want to sell. Ideally, they should have the industry knowledge as well. So, you may want to train them to keep your customers delighted.

    Long story short, if you use these strategies, you can attract a lot of B2B customers, which will grow your business at the end of the day.

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    Source by Shalini M

    Views: 0