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Trading and Profit and Loss Account

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Trading Account

As already discussed, first section of trading and profit and loss account is called trading account. The aim of preparing trading account is to find out gross profit or gross loss while that of second section is to find out net profit or net loss.

Preparation of Trading Account

Trading account is prepared mainly to know the profitability of the goods bought (or manufactured) sold by the businessman. The difference between selling price and cost of goods sold is the,5 earning of the businessman. Thus in order to calculate the gross earning, it is necessary to know:

(a) cost of goods sold.

(b) sales.

Total sales can be ascertained from the sales ledger. The cost of goods sold is, however, calculated. n order to calculate the cost of sales it is necessary to know its meaning. The ‘cost of goods’ includes the purchase price of the goods plus expenses relating to purchase of goods and brining the goods to the place of business. In order to calculate the cost of goods ” we should deduct from the total cost of goods purchased the cost of goods in hand. We can study this phenomenon with the help of following formula:

Opening stock + cost of purchases – closing stock = cost of sales

As already discussed that the purpose of preparing trading account is to calculate the gross profit of the business. It can be described as excess of amount of ‘Sales’ over ‘Cost of Sales’. This definition can be explained in terms of following equation:

Gross Profit = Sales-Cost of goods sold or (Sales + Closing Stock) -(Stock in the beginning + Purchases + Direct Expenses)

The opening stock and purchases along with buying and bringing expenses (direct exp.) are recorded the debit side whereas sales and closing stock is recorded on the credit side. If credit side is Jeater than the debit side the difference is written on the debit side as gross profit which is ultimately recorded on the credit side of profit and loss account. When the debit side exceeds the credit side, the difference is gross loss which is recorded at credit side and ultimately shown on the debit side of profit & loss account.

Usual Items in a Trading Account:

A) Debit Side

1. Opening Stock. It is the stock which remained unsold at the end of previous year. It must have been brought into books with the help of opening entry; so it always appears inside the trial balance. Generally, it is shown as first item at the debit side of trading account. Of course, in the first year of a business there will be no opening stock.

2. Purchases. It is normally second item on the debit side of trading account. ‘Purchases’ mean total purchases i.e. cash plus credit purchases. Any return outwards (purchases return) should be deducted out of purchases to find out the net purchases. Sometimes goods are received before the relevant invoice from the supplier. In such a situation, on the date of preparing final accounts an entry should be passed to debit the purchases account and to credit the suppliers’ account with the cost of goods.

3. Buying Expenses. All expenses relating to purchase of goods are also debited in the trading account. These include-wages, carriage inwards freight, duty, clearing charges, dock charges, excise duty, octroi and import duty etc.

4. Manufacturing Expenses. Such expenses are incurred by businessmen to manufacture or to render the goods in saleable condition viz., motive power, gas fuel, stores, royalties, factory expenses, foreman and supervisor’s salary etc.

Though manufacturing expenses are strictly to be taken in the manufacturing account since we are preparing only trading account, expenses of this type may also be included in the trading account.

(B) Credit Side

1. Sales. Sales mean total sales i.e. cash plus credit sales. If there are any sales returns, these should be deducted from sales. So net sales are credited to trading account. If an asset of the firm has been sold, it should not be included in the sales.

2. Closing Stock. It is the value of stock lying unsold in the godown or shop on the last date of accounting period. Normally closing stock is given outside the trial balance in that case it is shown on the credit side of trading account. But if it is given inside the trial balance, it is not to be shown on the credit side of trading account but appears only in the balance sheet as asset. Closing stock should be valued at cost or market price whichever is less.

Valuation of Closing Stock

The ascertain the value of closing stock it is necessary to make a complete inventory or list of all the items in the god own together with quantities. On the basis of physical observation the stock lists are prepared and the value of total stock is calculated on the basis of unit value. Thus, it is clear that stock-taking entails (i) inventorying, (ii) pricing. Each item is priced at cost, unless the market price is lower. Pricing an inventory at cost is easy if cost remains fixed. But prices remain fluctuating; so the valuation of stock is done on the basis of one of many valuation methods.

The preparation of trading account helps the trade to know the relationship between the costs be incurred and the revenues earned and the level of efficiency with which operations have been conducted. The ratio of gross profit to sales is very significant: it is arrived at :

Gross Profit X 100 / Sales

With the help of G.P. ratio he can ascertain as to how efficiently he is running the business higher the ratio, better will be the efficiency.

Closing Entries pertaining to trading Account

For transferring various accounts relating to goods and buying expenses, following closing entries recorded:

(i) For opening Stock: Debit trading account and credit stock account

(ii) For purchases: Debit trading account and credit purchases account, the amount being the et amount after deducting purchases returns.

(iii) For purchases returns: Debit purchases return account and credit purchases account.

(iv) For returns inwards: Debit sales account and credit sales return account

(v) For direct expenses: Debit trading account and credit direct expenses accounts individually.

(vi) For sales: Debit sales account and credit trading account. We will find that all the accounts as mentioned above will be closed with the exception of trading account

(vii) For closing stock: Debit closing stock account and credit trading account After recording above entries the trading account will be balanced and difference of two sides ascertained. If credit side is more the result is gross profit for which following entry is recorded.

(viii) For gross profit: Debit trading account and credit profit and loss account If the result is gross loss the above entry is reversed.

Profit and Loss Account

The profit and loss account is opened by recording the gross profit (on credit side) or gross loss (debit side).

For earning net profit a businessman has to incur many more expenses in addition to the direct expenses. Those expenses are deducted from profit (or added to gross loss), the resultant figure will be net profit or net loss.

The expenses which are recorded in profit and loss account are ailed ‘indirect expenses’. These be classified as follows:

Selling and distribution expenses.

These comprise of following expenses:

(a) Salesmen’s salary and commission

(b) Commission to agents

(c) Freight & carriage on sales

(d) Sales tax

(e) Bad debts

(f) Advertising

(g) Packing expenses

(h) Export duty

Administrative Expenses.

These include:

(a) Office salaries & wages

(b) Insurance

(c) Legal expenses

(d) Trade expenses

(e) Rates & taxes

(f) Audit fees

(g) Insurance

(h) Rent

(i) Printing and stationery

(j) Postage and telegrams

(k) Bank charges

Financial Expenses

These comprise:

(a) Discount allowed

(b) Interest on Capital

(c) Interest on loan

(d) Discount Charges on bill discounted

Maintenance, depreciations and Provisions etc.

These include following expenses

(a) Repairs

(b) Depreciation on assets

(c) Provision or reserve for doubtful debts

(d) Reserve for discount on debtors.

Along with above indirect expenses the debit side of profit and loss account comprises of various business losses also.

On the credit side of profit and loss account the items recorded are:

(a) Discount received

(b) Commission received

(c) Rent received

(d) Interest received

(e) Income from investments

(f) Profit on sale of assets

(g) Bad debts recovered

(h) Dividend received

(i) Apprenticeship premium etc.

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Source by Anil Kumar Gupta

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Gender Wars: Has The Time Come For Men And Women To Heal Their Emotional Wounds?

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When it comes to the mainstream culture, it is not uncommon for men to be put down and to be seen as the bane of the earth. This doesn't mean that women are not also seen as the problem, but this could be seen as something that takes place underground, to speak.
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So, while there are plenty of newspapers and TV stations that are only too happy to paint all men as being a certain way; there are also plenty of websites and videos online that are happy to paint all women as being a certain way. It could then be said that it is socially acceptable to put men down but the same can't be said when it comes to putting women down, which is why this has to be done in a more covert manner.

Plenty of Fuel

It seems that not a day goes by when there isn't something in the mainstream media that doesn't add to the view that men are worthless human beings. Sometimes, something small will be used to prove this, while at others, it will be something that is far bigger.

For example, when a woman in the public eye claims that she has been harassed by a man, not a lot of thought is given as to whether or not this actually took place. There are at least two reasons for this: firstly, women are often portrayed as innocent and pure and, secondly, all men are often portrayed as primitive beings that can't control their urges.

The Accepted Narrative

Thus, regardless of whether or not a man is actually guilty, he is going to be used to support the view that all men are the same. Clearly, if a man is found to be guilty the appropriate action should be taken, but, without the evidence that he has done anything wrong, it shouldn't be assumed that he has done anything wrong.

The people in the media who support this view of men don't seem to care about the damage that something like this could do to an innocent man's life. It's as though a man deserves to have his whole life ruined, irrespective of if he has done anything wrong.

Validation

And, if a woman believes that are men are the same, it is going to be music to her ears to hear the mainstream media talk about men in this way. A woman like this may have been in a number of abusive relationships, for instance.

Seeing a man go from a position of power to being destroyed is then going to be extremely satisfying. She probably won't have met this man, but seeing him go down will allow her to indirectly experience revenge.

The Other Side

When it comes to what is taking place away from the mainstream media, there is plenty of content that basically goes into how worthless women are. One of the main themes is that women can't be trusted and that if they find another guy who has more money / status, they will soon disappear.

And, if a man has been in a relationship where the woman walked away or if he has found it hard to experience fulfilment in this area of his life, for instance, he can be only too happy to hear other men say that women are useless and good for one thing. It will be as though they are enslaved to their biology, are heartless, and are not consciousness beings, unlike men who are in control of their urges, have a heart, and are aware.

Letting of Steam

Due to what a man has been through he will no doubt carry a lot of anger, anger that is likely to allow him to avoid feeling powerless and helpless, for instance. The experiences what he reads about online will end up enforcing what he already believes.

This is then likely to create even more distance between him and women and make it even harder for him to experience fulfilment in this area of his life. Even so, what this will do is allow him to be right, and this is one of the ego minds greatest needs – being wrong is seen as something that will lead to death.

A Messy Situation

There are then women who hate all men and men who hate all women, along with men who hate themselves and pedestalize women and women who hate themselves and pedestalize men. Therefore, even though it is not possible to say that it is only men who are under attack, it is undoubtedly more socially acceptable to attack men.

If someone believes that all men / women are the same and is happy to see a man / woman suffer, it is likely to show that they are carrying a number of emotional wounds. If they were able to get in touch what how they feel below their anger and rage, they may find that they feel rejected, powerless, helpless and worthless, amongst other things.

A Reactive Existence

Being in touch with these feelings is then likely to cause them to feel incredibly vulnerable; whereas being in touch with the more surface level emotions (such as anger and rage) is likely to allow them to feel strong and powerful. But, while living in this way can allow them to feel strong and powerful, it is going to cause them to be controlled by how they feel.

Not only this, it will stop them from being able to realize that not all men / women are the same and to see them as individuals. What they believe will define how they experience life, thereby stopping them from being able to experience anything that goes against what they believe.

A Deeper Look

When it comes to the emotional wounds that someone can carry, what has happened in their adult life is certainly going to play a part. Yet, what is likely to play an even bigger part is what took place during their early years, and what has been passed down from their ancestors can also play a part.

What took place during their early years that can be what is defining how they perceive men / women and the kind of men / women women they will be attracted to and attract. If someone had a father or mother who was abusive, for instance, it would have most likely caused them to experience a lot of trauma, and, it would have laid down the foundations for them to be drawn to men / women who would also abuse them.

Two Levels

How they were treated at this stage of their life would have become familiar, and what is familiar is what is classed as safe to the ego mind / unconscious mind. The years would then have passed but they are still going to carrying the trauma of being violated and abused.

It is then not going to matter what their conscious mind wants to experience, as their unconscious mind will want to experience what took place all those years ago. The trouble is that if someone is not aware of how their early years are affecting their adult life, it will be normal for them to feel like a victim and to blame all men / women.

Self-Victimization

If going within and working through emotional wounds was easy, it would be a part of everyone's life One of the biggest challenges to doing this type of work is that the mind disconnects from the body to avoid pain, which can result in someone's inner wounds being projected onto others.

The people who they come into contact with will then press their buttons, so to speak, but they won't be able to see that these people are mirroring back what they need to resolve within their own being. Without this understanding, they can end up seeing themselves as a victim and other people as perpetrators.

Conclusion

If someone wants to grow and develop and no longer wants to feed into this drama, they may need to reach out for external support. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance, they will be able to gradually work through their emotional wounds.

But, if someone is caught up on their own stuff due to their current level of consciousness, there will be no reason for them to change. As a result of this, they will continue to live a reactive life and to play out their early drama.

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Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
What Does It Mean To Love?

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Love Does Not Diminish

How do you define love or the experience of it? What is it like to experience yourself on an intimate level? I don’t mean physically but emotionally and spiritually? Some associate love with romantic feelings of butterflies in their stomach. They might talk about the sensations they feel when thinking about their beloved. But is love experienced through the mind, body or both? Is love a noun or a verb? How do we know if we have truly loved? What is the measure of having fully committed ourselves to love? I do not consider myself an expert on love nor a relationship coach. I am just as inquisitive as you are. What I know is: love demands nothing of us because it is an empty vessel to be filled. This is the analogy for life itself, where love is never wasted but recirculated.

Is love unconditional for you? Or does it come with requirements? What happens when those requirements are not met, do you withhold your love for another? Is it possible to withhold the essence of who we are? How can we stop water flowing in a river? You might say: build a damn. However, if the dam is not strong enough, the pressure of the water will find its way through or around it. You’ve no doubt seen tsunamis on TV where entire villages are engulfed by water. Water is a powerful metaphor for love because it can enrich a person’s life, yet it can also be destructive if it comes with conditions.

Do we need love in our lives? What does love offer us in return? Is it intimacy with ourselves or knowing others better? It was St Francis of Assisi who once said: “It is in giving that we receive.” He viewed love as something to be circulated in order to permeate our life and the lives of others. Love is like the Sun that gives of its energy and asks nothing in return because it is self-sustaining. The more we give love, the more of it we have. It begs the question: what happens when love is not reciprocated or the other person ceases to identify with love? If love is not returned, it does not diminish the other person’s capacity to give or receive it. The Sun goes down every evening and there is darkness for twelve hours. Yet, with the break of dawn, it re-emerges bringing energy to sustain life once more. It is a cycle sewn into the fabric of life and so it is with love.

Dare To Fully Express Love

When another person stops loving us, it does not mean we are unlovable. For you cannot stop the flow, it will naturally find expression in another form. Love is the antidote to fear, hatred and anger. It is the one true constant in our lives that is bestowed upon us from conception. We are born into love and leave this life knowing we will continue to love in the lifetimes that follow. The question is: have you dared to fully express love in this life? Have you given love freely and unconditionally? We ought to be like a sponge filled with water, totally wrung out when our time comes. We ought to fill our hearts with love and not withhold it for fear it won’t be reciprocated. Because every time we engage in love, it is magnified within every cell of our body. The more we give of ourselves, the more love expands within our hearts.

Knowing this, I invite you to contemplate your relationship with love over the coming days. Where are you withholding love in your life? How is this serving you? Does it bring a sense of safety, security or comfort? Are you willing to let down the barriers that impede the flow of love? Love needn’t be something expressed between two people but can reveal itself through our life’s purpose, our hobbies and our attitude. If you seek more love in your life, let go of the barriers that keep you safe from expressing it. See if you can find the place within you bursting with love and direct it towards something or someone. Love is a like bank account that compounds interest with each deposit made. Because if we truly want to know what it means to love, we must first experience it unreservedly while we have the chance.

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Source by Tony Fahkry

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Dating: Is It A Bad Idea To Have Sex On The First Date?

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Many, many years ago, sex was something that people would typically have if they wanted children. Nowadays, it is something that lot of people have if they want to experience pleasure.

In the past, then, it was generally seen as having one purpose and in the present, it is generally seen as having another. Now, while there were people in the past who did have sex for other reasons, there is no denying how different it is today.

Separated

If it wasn’t for the contraceptive pill, it is highly unlikely that sex would be seen in the same way as it is often seen today. Naturally, this has lowered the risk of a woman getting pregnant, thereby making it possible for her to have sex without needing to worry about what will happen after.

Along with this, a man can use a condom to stop his sperm from causing any problems. So, in the same way that someone might have a piece of chocolate to experience pleasure, they can also have sex to achieve the same outcome.

It’s Just Sex

Unlike most of their ancestors, this could be the only thing they know. Therefore, if they were to hear about how, in the past, people typically had sex to procreate, they may find it amusing.

In their eyes, sex could be seen as something that is there to be enjoyed; only having it to create a child is not going make any sense. And, as sex is something that can be extremely enjoyable, why would anyone only want to have it in order to procreate?

An Easy Decision

If someone has this view when it comes to sex, they may have no trouble sleeping with another person on the first date. This could be seen as a way for them to find out if they are sexually compatible.

Sex will be such an important part of their life that they won’t want to be with someone who doesn’t do it for them in the bedroom. In addition to this, they could believe that this will allow them to get to know them better.

Nothing to Lose

The alternative would be for them to wait a little while, only to find out that they are not sexually compatible. After having been with them for a while, it could be a lot harder for them to move on.

One would then have wasted a fair amount of time, time that they would have saved if they got down to business straight away. It would have also taken them a lot longer to find out about things that they might have found out about in a night.

The Only Option

Taking this into account, someone would be old fashioned or even a prude if they chose to behave differently. It would be in their best interest to ‘liberate’ themselves and to just go for it on the first date.

This might go against what they currently stand for, but they will soon realise that it is the right thing to do. When this happens, one will no longer be allowing an outdated inner model to run this area of their life.

Back To Reality

However, although this might seem like the best approach to take, it doesn’t mean that this is the case. One of the big problems with having sex more or less straight away is that it can cloud one’s judgment.

If human beings didn’t have an emotional self and only had a mental and the physical self, it wouldn’t matter. Their emotions wouldn’t be there to effect their judgment, allowing them to think clearly afterwards.

Numb

If someone can have sex straight away and not be affected by it, it could simply show that they are emotionally shut down. Having sex with someone straight away is not going to affect them, but as if they are out of touch with their emotions, it is unlikely that they would be able to have a real relationship anyway.

This could then explain why someone like this would put such a big emphasis on sex; the other part of their being, their heart, is not going to be open. A lot of their energy will be stuck in their genitals as it won’t be able to reach their chest area.

Many Elements

Sex is undoubtedly an important part of a relationship, yet there are a number of other things that are just as important. It will be vital for one to find out if they actually have anything in common with someone and to find out if their values match up.

As there are many parts to their own being, they will need to be with someone who has a being that matches up with these parts. This will be what allows the relationship to last once the early sparks have settled down.

The Easy Option

Getting naked and having sex with someone may seem like a great way get to know who they really are, but this may be a time when they are still hiding their true self. Ultimately, it is one thing for someone to reveal their body; it is another thing altogether for them to reveal who they actually are.

If one thinks that getting naked with someone means that they are getting intimate with them, this is not going to cross their mind. What will also make it harder for them to realise this is if they have come to equate sex with love.

Awareness

This is then not about whether or not having sex on a first date is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, it is about looking at the consequences of behaving in this way. Having sex on a first date could lead to a fulfilling relationship; then again, it could cause one to end up with someone who is not right for them.

Their emotions and hormones will be all over the place, making it just about impossible for them have a balanced outlook. Their thinking will be off and their view of the other person will also be off.

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Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Entrepreneurship and Innovation: The Inconvenient Truth

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Entrepreneurship and innovation: The popular belief

Entrepreneurs are widely believed to be the agents behind economic growth and innovation. They are, we are told, the movers and shakers who create new industries, unseat current leaders from their thrones, and open new frontiers for everyone. Popular culture tirelessly propagates one success story after another – from Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg, who was glorified in "The Social Network" movie, to Tesla's Elon Musk, an immigrant who became a household name, to Google's Sergey Brin, whose internet search engine name has officially become a verb in English.

So persuasive is the narrative of the entrepreneurial technological prowess and success, that many countries – including developing countries that feel they are lagging behind – develop comprehensive policies to support and promote entrepreneurship and even set aside sizeable funds to invest in startups via government-run venture capital programs. But is this fascination with and belief in entrepreneurs justified? How likely are entrepreneurs to push the technological frontier and bring about the kind of change that governments want? Entrepreneurship Professor Sergey Anokhin from Kent State University says the hard evidence is far less convincing than the popular culture makes you believe.

The dark side of entrepreneurship

In a study of 35 countries over a 7-year period, Professor Anokhin from Kent State and Professor Joakim Wincent from Sweden's Lulea University of Technology show that there is no universally positive relationship between entrepreneurship and innovation. While for the world's leading economies such as the United States the positive link between startup rates and innovation may be true, for the developing economies the relationship is actually negative. Such countries are more likely to see innovation championed by the existing companies, not startups. With few exceptions, entrepreneurs there pursue opportunities of a different kind that are based on imitation and dissemination of others' ideas, and are not equipped to produce truly advanced "grand" innovations. On average, startups are less efficient than existing firms. Accordingly, if local governments support entrepreneurship, economic effectiveness may suffer, and innovation is less likely to occur. In fact, successful technological development in emerging economies is often associated with an aggressive entrepreneurial behavior of large corporations, not individual entrepreneurs. Such is the case, for instance, of South Korea with its chaebols .

The figure below shows the vastly different impact of startup rates on innovation and technological development (as measured by patent applications) across countries. Only rich countries can expect more entrepreneurship to result in more innovation, says Dr. Anokhin. For the lesser developed countries, as the plot demonstrates, an increase in startup rates will only lead to less, not more innovative activities. The problem, according to Sergey Anokhin, is that developing countries often look up to the leading economies when trying to design their own policies. Moreover, quite naturally, the very textbooks that the students across the world use, are written by the scholars from the world's leading countries, and do not take developing economies' context into account. Taken together, it often locks policy makers in assuming the relationship between entrepreneurship and innovation that will not hold in their particular parts of the world. The pro-entrepreneurship policies will not bring about the effects expected, and the limited resources will be wasted to support activities that are largely detrimental.

What it all means

It is time to recognize that the relationship between entrepreneurship and innovation varies across countries, says Professor Anokhin. That is why World Economic Forum's Global Agenda Council for Fostering Entrepreneurship explicitly acknowledges that Silicon Valley success stories do not necessarily resonate in other parts of the world. Broad-strokes policies that aim at fostering entrepreneurship to boost country innovativeness may well be misguided. A contingency approach that takes regional specifics into account should be employed instead.

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Source by Sergey Ahmetov

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Women And Self-Confidence – Healing Women's Insecurity Issues Today

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Sound like a latte-in-the-sky dream? I mean the kind that could never happen in this lifetime?

Today, all that ends.

Let some new confidence with women understanding begin inside you, and beautiful begin being who you are to the core.

This program for women and self-confidence is exactly the kind of community of women friends you should meet. Its specialty is helping women exactly like you.

Heal those old wounds so you can break free from the past.

Stop feeling insecure and overwhelmed by other people's demands.

Pick up those shattered pieces of women's insecurity issues sitting around in your soul, heart and life and build something stunning and gorgeous with them.

It's like the Course in Miracles states, "Do not be afraid to look within you."

If you keep on beating yourself up OR ignoring it and hoping it will all solve itself, you can't pull yourself together.

Unleash the confident, Got-It-Together, GORGEOUS and RADIANT woman you were MEANT to BE.

There is nothing that feels better than having the total life confidence needed to be your real, luminous self.

It makes a woman undeniably gorgeous, and you don't have to be a super model here to be a confident woman.

It is life miracles of the highest order, and you deserve lots and lots of that!

Get YOUR life miraculously going again!

In a previous session I discussed other topics like how to realize more beauty and experience healthy weight loss without paying a fortune for a weight loss program.

And, imagine being able to turn the heads of men (AND women) as you walk into a room, radiating COMPLETE confidence and allowing your inner goddess to glow.

What if I told you that the universe is waiting to give you OCEANS of love?

Wave after wave of it!

A drenching, nourishing, sea of it!

You've built an emotional sea-wall that won't let it get to you, and here's the Truth:

Spark some sizzling hot romance EVEN if your relationship is flat-out boring right now (It takes mere SECONDS to put this to work for you …).

When you feel loved and confident

Don't deny your beautiful heart any longer. Unleash the miracle power of love in your life!

Yes, you can indeed change your love life and everything else, from PESSIMISTIC to PASSIONATE in a heartbeat.

You have what it takes to feel the POWER to go after your dreams, and you naturally ATTRACT the man of your dreams.

And if you're already in a relationship, you can build the kind of life together that most people only dream of.

Dating and relationships are so much easier (and fun!) Once you FINALLY start accepting love.

When you can FINALLY allow for to be given you love unapologetically from the world that's when your life and your relationships start to miraculously transform and you release all those women's insecurity issues.

Extend your inner beauty!

Begin right now in this instant to EFFORTLESSLY accept every kind of good and beautiful love into your life.

When women's insecurity issues have your life split apart in pieces all over the place, it's easy to feel defeated.

When frustration hooks up with unworthiness and they have a child called I AM SO TERRIBLY OVERWHELMED, confidence with women is difficult.

You know what I mean?

Wouldn't it be nice if you could let go of women's insecurity issues and get the JOY and BEAUTY of a woman who has her act together, as easily as ordering a latte with your BFF at your favorite coffee shop?

(Please note I always suggest searching the net for related material on how a woman with no dreams for the future can TODAY become a stronger confident woman.)

To your inner beauty shining forth!

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Source by James Nussbaumer

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
How Should The Other Woman Proceed When The Wife Finds Out About The Affair?

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I sometimes hear from women who have been cheating with someone who is married. Some of the time, they truly believed that in due time, the man’s marriage was going to come to a natural and mutual end so that the two of them could be together. They wanted to believe that the marriage had grown stale so that both people would mutually agree to end the marriage. Once this happens, then that would free up the husband to pursue a new relationship.

As we all know, this isn’t usually the way that it happens. Usually, the wife finds out about the affair and the marriage does not just end by both people mutually agreeing to it in a healthy way. The wife is usually hurt and angry and, believe it or not, the husband usually panics and immediately chases after his wife, suddenly afraid that he’s going to lose his family.

Understandably, this can leave the other woman confused. This isn’t how things were presented to her. And where is she in all of this? You can see how she would feel left out in the cold and unsure about how to proceed. She might say: “I feel stupid admitting that I honestly thought I was going to live happily ever after with the man that I was dating. I knew that he was married, but he presented it to me like he was working on untangling himself from that. Still, he was always careful that his wife would not find out. But she did. And I was shocked when he immediately told me that he could not see me anymore and begged me not to make this harder than it already was. I’m very shocked by this. And I feel set aside and hurt. Now this guy and his wife are scrambling to save their family, but what about me? I feel like I need to do something. I feel like I am left out in the cold of all of this. I am tempted to try to contact his wife and plead my case. I want her to know that the husband represented to me that their marriage was over. I want for her to have all of the information so that she doesn’t think that her husband is loyal to her. And I want to see the other man and plead my case also. After all that we have been through, it is annoying that he is just going to walk away. What should I do right now?”

Honestly, I am not sure that you are going to like my answer but it is heartfelt and is what I honestly feel and believe. I will admit that I have been the wife in this situation, but I’ve had friends in your situation and I hear from many on the other side of the equation. I can tell you that statistically, the husband and wife generally end up together. It may take a while. And there can definitely be some uncertainty, but statistics show us that it is much more likely for the husband to go back to his wife than to have a lasting relationship with the other person. You can check this for yourself, but that is what the statistics show. That is why I do not recommend that you reach out to either of them. It is only going to hurt, annoy, and frustrate everyone involved and the chances are high that it is not going to affect the outcome in the long run. You’ll only be causing pain to yourself, the husband, and the wife.

I know that a big driving force for you right now is that you feel set aside and ignored. One reason for this is that it feels as if your course of action is set by someone else. Since the husband and wife have the marriage, they get to decide how things proceed, which can seem very unfair. So how do you get a sense of control back? By bowing out gracefully from this trio and focusing on yourself, your own well being, and your own happiness. Take control back of your own life. Ask yourself why you’d be vulnerable to settling for a man who couldn’t be solely yours. Fix your self esteem and then vow to only give your heart to men that are free to return your love and be yours alone. All women deserve nothing less. I know that this might not be what you wanted to hear, but I believe that it is the healthiest option. It gives you control of your life, it really is the right thing to do for all involved, and it doesn’t force you to go against the odds. Trying to hurt others usually ends up only hurting you. There’s more than enough hurt to go around right now, so you can never go wrong with focusing on your own healing instead.

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Source by Katie Lersch

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Two Relationship Killers
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Consider a primary relationship in your life where you love someone and they love you. This could be an intimate partnership, a child-parent relationship or a very close friendship. Here are the two things to avoid, if you want to make sure love is present at all times.

Relationship killer #1:

Firstly, you should never expect that because someone loves you, they need to sacrifice themselves for you and put your needs first. We often mistakenly think that the degree to which someone suffers is a testimony for the amount of love they have for us. Likewise, we mistakenly believe that if someone puts their needs first, they don’t love us. But that is not true at all. If I refuse to sacrifice myself for you, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It simply means I am clear on what works for me and what doesn’t, and I don’t mess with my own needs. Please don’t take this personal. I love you nonetheless, but I certainly don’t have to suffer in order to prove my love for you. Besides, if you doubt it, chances are no matter how much I suffer, you will never believe me anyway. Get this: your partner having fun while you are in hardship doesn’t mean they don’t love you. The people who love you don’t owe you any suffering on their part whenever things are not working out for you. So don’t be jealous when your loved one is out with friends while you are working hard or cooking alone at home. No one needs to put their own life on hold only because yours is (even when they truly love you!). Of course, you can ask for support. That’s perfectly reasonable. But asking someone to sacrifice themselves and to suffer so you can feel loved – that is totally unreasonable. And it is a sure relationship killer.

Relationship killer #2:

The other way to kill a relationship is by trying to prove your love for someone by sacrificing your own needs and suffering as a consequence. See, whenever you suffer, there is no real love to speak of. If you were doing something for someone because you wanted to and because you loved them unconditionally, you wouldn’t be suffering. But if you sacrifice yourself out of obligation and/or guilt, the unconditional love is gone and you are likely to expect something in return. In other words, you try to manipulate someone into loving you back by doing things for them which they then have to repay you for. Sadly enough, you are playing a game thinking you can control someone else’s feelings and buy their love. Of course, the result is just the opposite – you are slowly but surely killing the relationship. So stop that immediately by starting to put yourself and your needs first. Find your own truth and start honoring it. Understand that you are allowed to have a good time without feeling guilty when your partner does not want to or cannot participate. Of course, you can support them when they are feeling low. But you don’t have to suffer with them or else you will become resentful and kill the relationship as a result.

In conclusion:
- Love should be free – no attachments, no suffering, no trading of favors, and no feelings of obligation and guilt.
- Love should be independent – I love you and I put myself first; you love me and you put yourself first; we love each other and we honor our independent needs nonetheless.
- Love should be by choice – I love you how I want to, not how I feel have to.
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Source by Vyara Bridgeman

Views: 0
July 26, 2022
Love As an Emotion

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I am now talking to the male part of any relationship because the male is normally the leader in any relationship. So, men, what will happen if your love for your wife or girlfriend relied on your emotions, or on your feelings? Today, you could cherish her, caress her, care for her, hug and kiss her. Tomorrow, you might feel totally different. You might slap her around a bit, shout and scream at her, ignore her, deride her. Because that is exactly what feelings are all about. Emotions play games on your feelings all the time. And the game changes every day, every minute. Think now of how confusing for the poor lady you have as a girlfriend or wife. She wants your attention, she says she loves you and has chosen you to be her mate, friend, and husband, whatever. But she is afraid of you because you are so much stronger as her, and she knows at any time you could burst into one of your tirades with disastrous consequences for her. Maybe a broken nose, a black eye, cracked ribs. Men who do this to any woman should be ashamed of themselves.

Real adult love is more than just a feeling. It means caring even when you do not feel like caring. It means spending time with your spouse when you prefer watching an important game on the telly. It also means nursing her when she feels ill and spending time with her when you prefer spending time with your friends. Love is taking responsibility for others and setting their needs and desires above yours. Love is also consistent with your feelings and it does not change every day. Love is not rude or harsh with your spouse, and respects her as the weaker member of your relationship.

I guess what I really want to say about being in a relationship where emotions and feelings is the basis of your relationship, and then you need to think long and hard about this. To rely on feelings is immature and stupidity, you just cannot rely on it. Do you really want to have a relationship with this woman? Tomorrow you might prefer spending time with your friends. Or for that matter, some other woman. So, if you decide no, I do not want to spend so much time with this woman, and then tell her that so that she could understand where she stands. She might feel hurt now, but in the end, she will at least know where she stands with you. And both of you could move on with your lives.

There are so many examples I can give on real love. But one thing I will say about this. Real love is taking responsibility of the opposite gender. Today you say you love her, but she will have the assurance that regardless of how you feel, tomorrow you would love just as much. Do not rely on your feelings of love for today, tomorrow it might be different.

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Source by Rodney Evan Bentley

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Free Online Dating: Tips and Advice

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Are you a real “newbie” to the world of free online dating? Do you find online dating foreign? Fret not, dear readers. Here are some online dating tips to assist you in enjoying the experience.

Your Username

Let’s start at the beginning. It’s great to choose a username that makes you stand out. Just remember, though, there is a big difference between being very clever and being so obscure your username goes right over the heads of potential partners.

If someone is already using your first choice for a name, just let it go. Obviously, it wasn’t that clever after all. Avoid using provocative pen names. Not everyone has a sense of humor when it comes to online dating, especially if you are hoping to find a long-term relationship.

Your Profile

A profile that is carefully composed is essential to a successful online dating experience. The profile area is your space to present not only your biographical information but also other special personal information, pictures of yourself and some details of what you are seeking in terms of a date and/or potential mate. Don’t stress it though, because while you only get one chance to make a good first impression on a date, you get as many chances as you want on your free online dating profile. Get together with a friend or two when you’re ready to build your profile. They can help in choosing the best pictures.

Your Photographs

All your photographs should be under seven months old unless specifically designated otherwise. Your main photo should be a headshot. People should be able to see your eyes. In fact, there are free online dating sites that will suspend your photo posting privileges if your main photo does not show your eyes.

You should also include at least one full body shot too. This way, when you do score a first date, there will no concern about how “different” you look in person. Don’t post too many pictures that include other people who might hide the real you or confuse others as to your dating status either.

Keep all your profile photographs updated. Include supplemental photos of you enjoying your favorite pastime or perhaps pics from recent vacations. They can give you something to talk about.

Your Headline

Your headline should make a statement about you or maybe answer a basic question like: “What qualities am I looking for in a man/woman?” Again though, don’t be so clever; you may lose your “reader”.

Your Description

Your description should focus on three separate sections. The first concerns who you really are and some of the different things you enjoy doing. The second might be more about your personal habits or just about anything unusual or unique that makes you stand out from the crowd. The third one should discuss your current activities, books you have read and films you have seen recently.

Additional Tips

Finally, try to be brief. Share, but be careful you don’t share too much. Find a comfortable middle ground between letting them know something about you and removing all the mystery. Use spell check, too. You don’t want a profile that looks thrown together.

To summarize these online dating tips, you want to give people an honest representation of yourself, both physically and mentally. Specify a few things that make you stand out. If you took time off to protest at Standing Rock or have a unique collection of some sort, include that. It will get people’s attention.

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Source by Pete Nyandeh

Views: 0

July 26, 2022