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  • My Wife Talks to Other Men – The Ugly Truth to WHY She Does This and What You Must Do to Fix It!

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    Are you unfortunate to be in a world where you’re saying my wife talks to other men, and don’t know what to do about it?

    That’s a terrible thing to witness and watch happen. I know it rips your heart out, and you want to end it fast.

    The truth is that YOU probably caused this, and that you can’t fix it by force, but only by changing some things about yourself.

    A Careful Understanding of Why You’re Stuck Wondering Why My Wife Talks to Other Men

    Here’s the deal with this problem of your wife talking to other men. We want to nip in the butt as soon as possible. But you unfortunately can’t go with your initial gut reaction of trying to stop it by force.

    But first let’s understand a couple of things about why this is happening.

    First off, if your wife talks to other men, then it’s likely that there’s something that she’s looking for that she’s not getting from you. Now that hurts to hear, but don’t worry because there’s a solution to the problem. It’ll take some work on your part but it’s only a few things that you’ll have to change.

    Second, your wife MAY be, if she’s doing this out in the open, trying to elicit a response from you. If that’s the case, then you’re still in trouble potentially but there’s a little more hope. Either way, we can fix this problem.

    What Your Wife is Missing and Why You’re Saying My Wife Talks to Other Men

    So the most likely cause of this problem is that your wife doesn’t see you as the man that she wants and actually instinctively and literally down to the core of her DNA needs!

    Therefore it’s more about what she’s NOT seeing in you, than about what she sees in these other men.

    What she’s not seeing in you are Alpha Male qualities, that each and every woman needs to see in order to be attracted to. Whether you’re in a nightclub, at the grocery store, in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, or MARRIED…the fact is that a woman must see you as a leader…an ALPHA MALE…if there’s any hope in her feeling attracted to you.

    A lot of men feel like it’s a natural thing for a wife to lose attraction to her husband after marriage, but the fact is that it’s up to you to keep the qualities that she’s attracted to.

    She needs a leader, someone who displays that they’re in charge. There are a few traits that you must possess for her to see you as that sort of man that I don’t have room in this article to go over.

    However, the overall picture is that if you’re saying my wife talks to other men, then she doesn’t see you as her alpha male, and if you become that she’ll have no more reason to look for it in other men at all.

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    Source by Jason T. Nelson

    Views: 0

  • Business Partners & Marital Partners Will The Marriage Survive – Part II

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    In the last article, we connected by saying that keeping your business and personal relationships separate is very important to the survival of both your business and your marriage. In this article we will talk about how to achieve this goal.

    One of the most important ways to accomplish this is to set up distinct business hours, and when they are over, don't discuss business, concentrate on your relationship. It is difficult, but make a concentrated effort at it. Confine your business discussions to business hours or set aside a specific time to discuss the business.

    For example, take the last half hour of the day, and discuss the business day; Any suggestions you have, what was accomplished, what needs to be done tomorrow, during the week, how are the monthly goals you set at the beginning of the month progressing. Remember to couch any criticisms or suggestions in a positive vein. Think of how you felt in the work situation and how supervisors dealt with you when making suggestions. Negatives only cause resentment. They do in the corporate arena, and even more so, when dealing with a spouse you must live with 24 hours a day. Be sure to set aside time for each other-go for walks, out to dinner, or just for a drive with your spouse. Do not discuss business.

    You should have outside activities that are not business related. If not, join a group that interests you. It will allow you to meet with others who are not connected to your business. Running a home-based business can be very lonely; getting away from the home, and having outside interests is imperative.

    In addition to the problems inherent to couples running a business, starting a home-based business presents its own set of problems and questions. Before you start be sure to ask yourself the following:

    1. Are you self-motivated? Organized? Able to prioritize your work? You will no longer have a supervisor or a boss to tell you what to do. You will be the decision maker. You will have to motivate yourself. One way to accomplish this is to use a To Do List and stick to it. In addition, set definitive business hours, and stick to them.

    2. Will you be able to deal with the isolation? You will no longer meet people in the halls, congregate around the coffee pot, or take a break to talk with your co-workers. To combat the loneliness and isolation be sure to join groups that meet outside the home, or schedule luncheons with friends and associates.

    3. Write up a business plan. Be sure the business is something that interests you. You might want to start on a part-time basis, and grow from there. Research the business carefully, make sure there is a market, and the competition is not overwhelming.

    4. Be sure you have at least six months living expenses set aside. This will give you the time to work through the marketing strategy outlined in your business plan, and avoid bad marketing practices. In addition, if changes need to be made, you can do so, without monetary concerns becoming an issue.

    5. Be sure your office space is located in a separate room or area of ​​your home that offers the least distractions. A separate office is best, especially if you are meeting with clients. Remember to always present a professional appearance.

    6. When will you do your regular household chores? Make up a schedule of when you will deal with them. Some individuals find getting chores done before the start of the work day is best. At the end of the day, close your office door and then deal with the remaining household items that need to be handled. Time management will be a very important factor in running a home-based business.

    7. For husband and wife teams, it becomes imperative to have some form of disability insurance for each other. Remember, even though your partner may be your husband or wife, he or she is still your business partner. An accident or illness to one of you can severely impact the operation of the business.

    A business is only as good as you and your partner make it. It takes a lot of dedication, time and energy to run a business, whether it is home-based or not. It can be a very rewarding experience. Think carefully, and ask yourself a lot of self-searching questions before you begin.

    Copyright 2000, DeFiore Enterprises

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    Source by Sue And Chuck DeFiore

    Views: 0

  • Will You Marry Me? Four Simple Little Words, That Mean So Much

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    Since my social gathering, thoughts took me back my own marriage proposal, some 16 years ago. I had imagined how it might unfold; we had talked about marriage and family, so I knew it would arise at some point. Would it be full of romance, flowers, a candle-lit dinner and my future husband down on one knee, eloquently pledging his undying love for me! Well, not exactly – after a drunken evening in a local nightclub, you know the ones, with sticky ‘beer soaked’ carpets and dated disco tunes; he turned around to me and said ‘How about it then, shall we get married? Not the dreamy scene I had hoped for, but of course, I said ‘yes’ and we have been happily married with 2 children and a dog for the last 14 years.

    How many of us wait in anticipation for our partners to pop “the question?” Then are disappointed when either, it never happens or when it does, it doesn’t live up to our own expectations. Dreams of being whisked off to a secret exotic location, a special evening in the finest restaurant, and then finally having plucked up the courage to ask, and in front of an unsuspecting audience, your companion is down on one knee saying the words you have been waiting for.

    I have to tell you, although you might not believe me, this type of scenario does happen in real life. The friend that caught the bouquet had a marriage proposal that could have been taken from a film set.

    It started with a mystery holiday that had been planned as a birthday treat, she had no idea of where she was going and was told to pack for warm, sunny weather. The destination was the Greek island of Santorini, staying in a lovely hotel with magnificent sea views.

    A carefully planned romantic walk, where a ‘sea view’ table and a bottle of chilled Moet awaited them to watch the sunset. Along their ocean saunter, a detour to a traditional greek church with white washed exterior and striking blue dome, as my friend finished taking numerous photographs, she turned round to be presented with a handmade puzzle!

    I sure you can guess what came next, when she placed the puzzle pieces together, those simple four words appeared in front of her and her man, down of one knee, offering her the ‘sexiest’ (her words, not mine) engagement ring she had ever seen. Don’t be surprised when I tell you that, not only did my friend’s thoughtful fiancée plan the mystery trip, sea views and romantic proposal, he also designed and arranged for the ring to be handmade with her birthstone!

    Other marriage proposal stories have floated past my ears over the last few years. One in particular, a tale of a treasure hunt, constructed from cryptic clues sending the hopeful lady on an adventure to a hidden destination. Upon arrival, a small Silver love letter necklace with a delicately engraved letter inside – Will you marry me? An engagement ring placed on a finger and another couple betrothed to each other.

    I am full of admiration for imaginative partners that take the time to plan a proposal, complete with surprises, mystery and the odd glass of champagne. Not everyone needs to go to these lengths and as long as the sentiments of the words are truly felt, then any proposal is a special moment. Regardless of how a marriage proposal is planned or not, from my ‘sticky carpet’ moment in the local nightclub or my friend’s Shirley Valentine meets Mamma Mia adventure on the island of Santorini, with marriage statistics as an all time low, isn’t it all about being asked those simple 4 words and living in happily ever after – with the perfect Engagement ring of course!

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    Source by Claire L Bentley

    Views: 0

  • Prophetic Declaration to Overcome Storms of Life in Your Marriage: Powerful Life Changing Prayers

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    If you are faced with problems in your marriage and business, it is only by divine intervention that you will overcome such problems.

    Bible Verses and Prayers to Encourage You As You Face The Battle of Life

    Psalm 23: 1-6 (KJV) "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

    Prayers to Encourage You As You Face The Battle of Life

    – Lord Eliminate the Spirit of always wanting to give up my Life in the Name of Jesus.

    – Give me a fresh breeze of release to lighten my load in Jesus Name.

    – Send the right people in my life to be a source of love, guidance and new opportunities.

    – Teach me your way and your will in Jesus Name

    – Speak to me Lord in a way that I would understand and obey in Jesus Name.

    – If nobody else in the whole world seems to care or believe in me, let me believe in myself.

    – I know there will be times when I doubt my own ability, I will be discouraged, on the verge of despair.

    – Don't let me give up, hang on to me. Fan the fires of my faith so that I will try even harder.

    – Give me even more faith in myself in Jesus Name.

    – I come boldly before your throne of grace.

    – Your word says that you give strength to the weary, so I ask that you would strengthen me Lord, for I am weary.

    – Bless me Lord with your presence, that my heart might be encouraged.

    – Help me remember your faithfulness and your love that I might stand in faith against the issues that face me.

    Prophetic Declaration over your marriage

    Bible says that the ear of the lord is not deaf nor his hand short that he does not hear us, but our iniquities have separated us from our God (paraphrased) Isaiah 59: 1. We therefore must first bring repentance over our past participation by thoughts words or deed our iniquities which would cause the Lord not to hear us.

    Prayer Points

    – I repent over every sin and wickedness in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I turn way from everything in my life that gives Satan a foothold and legality in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I repent of every ungodly confession I have made over my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I repent of every ungodly confession that is standing as a witness and testimony before you in the name of Jesus.

    – Father have mercy upon me in the name of Jesus.

    – Forgive me for wrong confessions, utterances, declarations, thoughts, actions, I have done which are speaking against me, before you in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that in my marriage shall receive and release the strength, honor, glory that marriage brings in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that in my marriage shall reflect the glory of God in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that two shall put to flight Ten thousand, that is my portion in my marriage in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that wicked patterns and cycles of marriages in my bloodline broken in the name of Jesus and by the voice of the blood of the lamb.

    – Every handwriting of wicked codes speaking against my marriage in be bloated out by the blood of Jesus.

    – I station Angels of defense along my marriage in Jesus name

    – Blood of Jesus surround my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I station the word of the Lord as a wall around my marriage, it shall not be like a city with no walls in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that I will have prophetic utterances over my marriage in Jesus name.

    – Blood of Jesus step into the foundation of my marriage and align it to the word of God in the name of Jesus

    – Blood of Jesus speak healing into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak restoration into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak love into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak joy into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak peace to my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak harmony into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak unity into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak wisdom into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak understanding into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak knowledge into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak fruitfulness into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I raise the banner and the standard of Christ and declare the Lordship of Jesus over my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that my marriage shall bear good fruits in Jesus name.

    – Every Spirit of barrenness is broken, and destroyed by the power of the blood of Jesus in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Every pain In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every bitterness In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every anger In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every unforgiveness In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every sorrow In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that the scent of my marriage shall be a pleasing aroma in your sight Lord and in the body of Christ in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that springs of life from your fountain will come forth and water every dry area in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Resurrection power of God rest upon every dead area in my marriage and resurrect it in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare the Angel in charge of marriages shall walk with me in my marriage.

    – I release every goodness my marriage is to bring to my life in Jesus name.

    – let every stranger in my marriage be evicted in the name of Jesus.

    – Let the angel of the Lord pursue to destruction every stranger in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Every ungodly voice over my marriage be silenced by the voice of the blood of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus blot out every wicked ordinance that is standing as a testimony against my marriage in the courtrooms of heaven in the name of Jesus

    – I station the Angel in charge of marriages at the gate of my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what the Angel in charge of marriages is confessing before the courts of heaven concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what the blood of Jesus is speaking before the courtrooms of heaven concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what Jesus the mediator is speaking before the courtrooms of heaven concerning my marriage.

    – Father I pray let my offerings and tithes stand as a testimony and a witness on behalf of my marriage in the courtrooms of heaven.

    – Father I pray arise and become a witness for me against every adulterer in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that the bars of my marriage gates will be strengthened in the name of Jesus

    – I declare my marriage shall be restful, joyous, happy, full of the glory of God.

    – I station these words at the gates of my marriage in Jesus name.

    – I put the seal of the blood of Jesus on my marriage in the name of Jesus.

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    Source by Dr Olusola A Coker Ed.D

    Views: 0

  • Should I Still Be Saying "I Love You" To My Separated Spouse?

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    When you are in the middle of a separation that you never wanted in the first place, it can be tempting to want to remind your spouse that they are still married to someone who still loves them very much. I know first hand that there can be a real worry that if they are outside of your presence, they will begin to forget what they loved about you. Or they will find that the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” is actually true.

    So it may be your normal inclination to tell your separated spouse that you love them every time you talk with or see them. And this is absolutely fine – so long as you are getting an enthusiastic response in reply. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

    A wife might say: “I know that it sounds desperate and needy. But I can not help it. Every time I talk to my separated husband, I tell him that I love him right before we hang up. I have done this for all the years that I have known him and old habits die hard. At the beginning of our separation, this seemed OK. But the last couple of times, I’ve noticed that he has hesitated before he gives a response. Last night, he didn’t say anything in response. I don’t mean to be dense. Obviously, he probably thinks that I am doing something wrong or he doesn’t want to hear me tell him that I love him during the separation. But not saying it feels like a lie. It feels like playing games or holding back. Am I supposed to pretend that I don’t love him? Because I find that ridiculous. I do love him. And it seems silly to me that I am not supposed to say it every day in the same way that I have for many years. Do I have to stop?”

    That is really up to you. I would never tell someone what to do during their marriage or during their separation. I can tell you what came to be my opinion as the result of a similar situation that I was in. But, I know that all situations are different. So I can’t say that what worked for me will work for you.

    But, during my own separation, it eventually became very clear that my husband was not receptive to me acting in the same way that I did while we were still happily married. When I tried to act as if we were any other married couple or that nothing was wrong, he would act distant or he would start to avoid me. If I pushed, it would get even worse and I would have to work very hard to even get him to take my calls. Frankly, there were times when I could almost literally feel him wince when I told him I loved him.

    As hard as it was to accept, I started to realize that if I didn’t change some things, I might be making this situation a whole lot worse. So I made a conscious decision to back off some. Did this mean I didn’t love my husband? No, if anything, I loved him just as much if not more. But I knew that if I was going to have a chance to maintain that love, I was going to have to find the strategy that brought him closer to me rather than pushing further away.

    And when I tried to push my love on to him, this definitely made him pull further away. So, I toned down my demonstrations and declarations of love. I told myself that this was only temporary, but it was difficult. Still, I knew what was most important was my long term goal and not my declarations of love in the moment.

    My backing off did eventually make things better because it eventually made my husband more receptive to me again. And his being receptive to me meant that we got to spend more time together – which never would have happened if I had continued on with my pushing.

    I can’t tell you what will work in your own situation. I can only suggest that if you notice something not working, then it sometimes makes sense to test out something else – if only once. Perhaps next time you talk to your husband and it is time to sign off, you might try something like: “tonight, I’m not going to insist that I love you, even though I do. I sense that it makes you uncomfortable. But I didn’t want you to think that I was angry or anything. I’m just trying to respect your wishes and not push.”

    At this point, your husband could reassure you that the loving phrases are fine. Or, he may not say anything – in which case his silence speaks volumes. If you do decide to back off and you find that the next time you talk, he seems more comfortable, then you may speculate that backing off a little has helped.

    I know that it might seem weird and almost dishonest to hold back with your own spouse. But a separation can be a very fragile time in a relationship – especially when one spouse has asked for space or isn’t sure what he wants. It become my opinion that if backing off a little is what it took for my husband to eventually be available to me, I was willing to pay that price at the time. Because I knew that it was part of a long-term strategy that was going to mean that I wouldn’t have to hold back once we reconciled.

    Today, I tell him that I love him all of the time, so holding off was worth it to me. And I believe it helped. But every situation is different. In some situations, both spouses are perfectly comfortable with still saying they love one another. And that’s wonderful. But it was not my reality. Still, if every one is happy, then I don’t see any reason to hold back.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • My Opinion on Sex and Love

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    Sex is not the perfect way to express your love: Rather it’s the perfect way to express love’s feelings. It’s perfect between a husband and a wife, a boy and a girl. It’s not only a physical activity, instead of it mostly a spiritual integration of two souls. It joints the spirit of the people involve. Sex is not love and love isn’t sex. Many often muddle the difference between sex and love. Most people don’t perceive that there’s a difference between them. In this note I’ll give my view on why these things are different from one another.

    Let’s start with sex. It’s something that does not often slump real feelings, real relationship or even a committed. There are few peoples who seek enjoyment from one-night stands. Often many have a ‘friend with benefits’, that’s what I would put under the sex’s category. There are never any real or deep feelings; it’s only about the enjoyment of the act. Usually when people only search to have sex, there’s very little opposite play and intimacy afterwards, the cuddling and holding of one another, well that doesn’t happen often.

    Many people are happy with having sex only for pleasure, never caring for the emotional circumstance of being in love. Often some will lope partner to partner because that’s all they’re searching that’s the instant rush and release in the sex’s pleasure. I’m one of the ones who have never been capable to do this thing. I could never jump into a one-night stand and I could never only have a “friend with benefits”. These parts are the values I’ve about lovemaking. It also, for me, means more that my friend is in love with me, and sex isn’t only about enjoyment. It’s where making love comes into play.

    When two people are in love, and who share the emotional bond with one another, they superintendence very much about making their partner feel desired and taken care of. When an individual is in love makes love to their partner, they give all their needs, not only sexually. They’ll take time by doing sex and making their lover happy. They’re careful to their partner’s every desires and needs. They get more pleasure out of tolerable them then they do themselves.

    Often times, they don’t always need to be glad while making love. Making love between couple who are in love is often intimate and slow. After lovemaking, many people that love one another will clasp and cuddle their lover like a deeper form of close affinity afterwards. It also brings the lovers together and they interconnect deeper on that soulful bond.

    Which is more essential to you in marriage?

    Love, sex or nothing…

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    Source by Sushil Chand

    Views: 0

  • Reducing the Stress of Being an Entrepreneur

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    Starting and running your own business can be exciting and rewarding, but it can also be very stressful. For most of our almost 40 year marriage my husband has been an entrepreneur and I have sometimes worked with him. Having built my own business as a Stress Reduction Coach I have been reflecting on the stresses of being an entrepreneur.

    Signs and sources of stress

    Some of the signs of stress overload include irritability, anxiety about the sustainability of the business, and/or high business debt. Relationships within the family can suffer if they do not understand the entrepreneurial drive or the time and effort it takes to start and run a business. For women entrepreneurs, the job of running the household and balancing work and home can create enormous stressors. When you work from home, all the household tasks that need to be done can pull you away from your business. People who are drawn to be entrepreneurs are sometimes idea people who don’t like detail and repetitive tasks. Having to work on those things can create stress as well. And when you’re stressed it’s harder to concentrate and focus.

    Organize your environment

    One of the solutions is to reduce the stress and create an environment that discourages stress. Have a place where you can keep everything together and organized. A written plan of action for the business posted where you can see it along with a daily plan can help you focus the time you have available.

    A system that works for me

    I am not a person who comes to organization easily and I have struggled to find a way that works. Daytimers and lists help for a short while, but I have never been able to keep up with them. One thing I have found that works is to have a “big picture overview” of what needs to be done where I can see it. I have a poster board size piece of “static cling” presentation sheet that adheres to my door. It can be easily rolled up and removed if needed. I have several categories that I’ve posted at the top of the sheet, such as “website,” “presentation,” etc. These are written on standard sized post-it notes so they can be easily removed and changed. I brainstorm everything I need to do on small post-it notes. After I brainstorm, I then organize the notes in the appropriate columns. I also have a category that says TODAY for the urgent and important things. I can glance at the poster while I am working and see what else I might need to do and when I finish what I need to do, I can throw the post-it away. If something comes up that is not posted, I can put it on a post-it note and put it where it needs to be.

    This “system” helped me write many graduate papers and I used it when I planned and wrote my dissertation. Now it helps me as I plan and work my business. This is just one technique that helps me reduce the stress of being an entrepreneur.

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    Source by Lorna Minewiser

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Wanted The Separation, But Now He’s Constantly Trying To Keep Tabs On Me

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    I sometimes hear from wives who are very confused about their husband’s conflicting behavior during a martial separation. Often, he is the one who initiated the separation and it seems as if he almost can’t wait to leave. But as soon as the couple are living apart, suddenly the husband wants to keep tabs on the wife or seems particularly interested in her day to day activities.

    I heard from a wife who said: “my husband has been wanting to separate for a while. I tried my best to talk him out of it, but after listening to him insist upon it for months, I finally gave in and agreed to go and live with my sister for a little while. Since he was so anxious to get rid of me, I really didn’t expect to hear from him, although I knew that I would miss him terribly. I’ve been gone only two days, but now he is constantly calling me and wanting to know what I’m doing. I will answer the phone and the first thing he says to me is ‘what are you doing’ in an almost accusatory way. The truth is, I’m not doing anything and I tell him so. Why does he even ask? He couldn’t get rid of me quickly enough and now it’s like he wants to keep checking on me. What is going on?” I’ll try to answer these questions in the following article.

    He May Just Be Missing You: Men often envision having all kinds of peace and quiet so that they can think. But, sometimes this just isn’t the reality. Sometimes all that silence brings about is loneliness. And then he can start to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. And he looks around and notices that everything around him reminds him of you. Now, it might make things easier if he would just tell you all of this, but many men will not. Instead, they’ll call you and do annoying things like asking what, or how, you are doing.

    He Might Be Feeling Insecure: It’s very common for separated spouses to admit that they at least partly suspect that their spouse might eventually see other people during the separation. Your spouse might be acting on this suspicion or just looking for reassurance, which leads me to my next point.

    He’s Trying To Determine Your Frame Of Mind: It’s common for the spouse who initiated the separation to have a strong suspicions that you are going to be resentful and angry. Therefore, he might want to keep in close touch to gauge your feelings. He may want to see if your resentment is going to drive you away. And he may be feeling some remorse for his actions.

    Taking Some Positive Implications From These Annoying Questions: I know that this is probably very frustrating. But there is some positive indications here. If he didn’t care at all, he wouldn’t be calling. If he wasn’t thinking about you at all and was living it up and celebrating his freedom, he wouldn’t be calling either. And since this wife didn’t want the separation in the first place and wanted to save her marriage, this was hopefully good news to her.

    How To Respond When He Keeps Calling And Asking What You’re Doing: First, you have to decide what you really want to happen. And ultimately, this wife wanted her husband to come home. I know that it’s tempting to say something like ‘well what do you think I’m doing? I’m sitting here staring at my sister and living in a strange place because you made me leave my own home for your silly separation,’ but this is a bad idea. Because you don’t want to discourage him from reaching out to you. Instead, you want to make him want to check in and initiate contact with you. So, as difficult as it may be, try to sound as upbeat as possible. Trying to make him feel guilty is the wrong call too, because it brings about pain and makes him want to avoid you. With that said, you don’t want to make it sound as if you are sitting by the phone waiting for his call. You want for him to know that you have too much self respect for that.

    An appropriate response might be something like: “not much. I’m just spending some time with my sister. We’ll probably go out and grab some dinner in a little while. What are you doing?”

    Notice I was light hearted and I turned the question back to him. And I alluded to the fact that no one was sitting around waiting. By asking what he was doing, you’re leaving it open ended for him to share his feelings. He might say that he’s not doing anything because he’s lonely. Or he might say that what he’s really doing is missing you. The point is to not engage with him and don’t ask him why he keeps calling you with his silly questions. Try to stay positive because this really is a good sign. It means he is interested and that he is reaching out. And not all separated spouses fall into this category. Some husbands rarely call their wives at all, let alone care about their experiences or feelings.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • My Wife Is So Sensitive! How to Manage This in a Compassionate Way

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    Feeling as though you’re walking on eggshells in your own home is never a good thing. Although women don’t have the market cornered when it comes to sensitivity, it can be a huge issue for many wives. Living with a woman who is super sensitive leaves a man on edge and can affect the emotional connection he feels with his spouse. Trying to deal with this in an effective and compassionate manner takes some insight, some carefully chosen words and a lot of patience.

    It’s very rare for a woman who is sensitive to only be that way with her husband. Sensitive people tend to carry that trait into every relationship they have including work based ones as well as other family connections. If your wife is just as sensitive with her siblings, her parents or the people she works with, you can take at least some small degree of comfort in that. It doesn’t, however, help you to deal with it in a way that will help your wife manage her sensitivity issues while at the same time ensuring your marriage continues to grow.

    Since you are her life partner you must become the safest person in your wife’s life. You want her to feel as though you’re the one person who truly understands her and isn’t focused on hurting her. To that end you must treat her as the fragile person she is. Simply telling a sensitive person to grow a backbone or to grow up only makes matters worse. People who are sensitive by nature, absorb negative things very deeply so they continually need positive reinforcement.

    Tell your wife on a daily basis how special you believe she is. Give her examples of what you mean. If she’s a considerate and doting mother, tell her you recognize that. If she’s committed to her career and is a perfectionist in that regard, let her know that you deeply admire her drive. If she senses that you are her biggest supporter, she’s going to see you as the shining light of her life.

    It’s incredibly challenging to have any type of productive disagreement with someone who is very sensitive. Even one harsh comment or negative remark can set them into an emotional tailspin. Once that happens nothing is accomplished and the initial conflict becomes more far reaching because feelings are deeply hurt.

    It’s important not to approach your wife if you’re incredibly angry or frustrated. It can be hard to temper what you feel in a moment like that and you may inadvertently say something that will pain her deeply, causing her to retreat into herself. Whatever the conflict is, it will still be there in an hour or two when you’ve had time to cool down a bit and logically think about the best way to initiate a conversation with your wife about it. If you come to a discussion like this with a calm and rational tone, your wife won’t feel too defensive which will help you to solve whatever the problem is.

    You can’t control what anyone else says or does to your wife. Sensitivity is often accompanied with low self esteem issues. It might be commonplace in your marriage for your wife to feel hurt or rejected by others if they criticize her in anyway. Once this happens explain to her that she can’t please everyone but the people who love her most think she’s remarkable. Hearing those words from you, when she’s feeling down, will help her tremendously.

    Love your wife the best way you can and be her supporter at every turn. By being sensitive in your own way to her sensitivity issues you’ll build a stronger and more mutually satisfying marriage. Your wife needs you to understand her so show her that you’re going to do that and more by always being mindful of her feelings.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • Marital Pathfinder 101

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    The issue of marital discovery and fulfillment has been a major discourse in most singles’ forum taking cognizance of the implications of getting it wrong. When God created man, He took him and set him down in the garden and gave him a mandate (Vision): “… to work the ground and keep the garden in order” Gen 2:15 (message bible). He looked at man and said to Himself it’s not good that man should be alone; let’s make for him a help-mate and a companion. Reason being that man was not living his full potential and so needed a help-mate and a companion to relate some things with; God in His mightiness cause man to fall into a deep sleep, created a help-mate for him and presented her to him; “when man woke up, he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind), went close, identify himself with her, appreciate her, stretch out his hand towards her and they both hold hands, move round the garden and tend it properly according to God’s instructions”. (My opinion).

    Taking cue from where it all began- the Garden of Eden, as a single I strongly believe that marital fulfillment is real and everyone is meant to experience it if we can just know what we want and go through the process or stages towards getting what we desire. It takes grace-unmerited favor for good thing to come easily. Let me buttress on Adams experience as follow:

    Woke up: when man woke up… literally in life, when a man is said to have woke up from his sleep, it means he has gotten to the point of realizing that something is missing in his life and so needs attention and until this is done, optimal satisfaction or fulfillment will not be drive. Speaking from marital point of view, it’s where a man realized that for him to gain much ground in life, he will need a help-mate (vision helper) to give him the much needed support to fulfill purpose. By this, I mean the achieving the intangibles- life vision, life assignment. For the ladies, it’s the point where she needs someone with some sense of purpose. It is the point where a man will need to make clear his life vision, mission and set values that will govern his life activities- setting his priority(s) right as he moves on the journey to marital discovery and fulfillment. When this is done, he goes on an ultimate search through praying, fasting, interaction with people and the environment.

    Attraction:… he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind)… Gen 2:23; Esther 2:17. person-300x202The law of attraction states that every man draws to him what flows out of him. When Adam woke up, he came in contact with someone of like mind- someone that speaks and understands his language, sees what he sees, with similar mandate, etc and so got attracted to her because his instinct communicated it to him. As singles (guys and ladies), the law of attraction should not be ignored in our quest for marital fulfillment. A guy or lady, who knows where he/she is going, will deliberately get attracted to only those going in the same direction with him/her. If for any reason, you are attracting to yourself friends you do not wish to have, it means you have to work on what flows out of you- rebrand yourself inside-out. Try to understand your temperament (strength and weakness) and then the temperament of someone that will complement yours. On the other hand, if you are attracting the right people into your life, then you are on the right path to marital fulfillment because these people see what you see, speak and understand your language- success, spiritual intensity, business success, career fulfillment, etc

    Get close and identify with people:… went close, identify with her… law of contact. For one to get what he/she need in life, he will have to take steps forward without necessarily seeing the stair case to step on. As singles (guys and ladies) I don’t think we need to see a vision, have a dream, go on a trance or have an impartation with the full bottle of anointing oil pour on our head for us to go close to people we are attracted to and have an interaction with them. When the first man woke up from his deep sleep, he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind) and so went close and interacted with her. It is at the point of interaction he discovered that they both have so much in common and so he identify with her immediately. Personally, I strongly believe that all relationship with the opposite sex will not end in marriage (life partner); I believe also that if we set our priority(s) right, at the point of interaction with those we are attracted to, we will be able to identify and discover a relationship that will not work for marriage but can work in the area of career, business contact/partner, best of friends, etc. Let’s increase our sensitivity antenna as the Spirit of Truth will help us. When we do, there will be no reason for regretting knowing or coming in contact with anyone; though, we are not perfect or guru in relationship matter but the chances of regret will be very minimal or near to zero.

    Appreciation:… appreciate her… what you appreciate in the life of someone over a period of time will as a matter of fact become your reality (paraphrase- law of appreciation). In as much as the first man identify with the similarities between him and his friend so to speak, he also notice that there are attributes his friend have which he don’t but needed to excel and so appreciated these attributes. Appreciating someone’s strengths and giving strength to ones weakness has a way of building and strengthen relationship and friendship. As singles, it’s impossible to have strength in all facet of life; and so when we see someone doing things in the area of our weakness, we should endeavor to celebrate them and leverage on their strength to fulfill purpose in life.

    Stretch out your hands to get help:… stretch out his hand towards her… the good book says “ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be open unto thee”. At this point, the relationship should be defined. Gen 2:25. As I said, all relationship will not end in marriage; when you interact with people, you will know the areas (Business, career, Spirituality, academics, etc) you will team work to achieve great results in life. When this is defined, the objective of the relationship should be stated and boundaries set. In life, nothing works until someone work it out; relationship doesn’t work out until those involve make it work; it’s a team work affairs and nobody’s commitment should be taken for granted rather it should be appreciated.

    Get bonded:… and they hold hands, move round the garden and tend it properly according to God’s instructions. The book of life says “do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?” (Message bible). There must be some form of agreement between both parties

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    Source by Emmanuel Chukwuyem Agese

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