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Tag: Loving

  • Should I Still Be Saying "I Love You" To My Separated Spouse?

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    When you are in the middle of a separation that you never wanted in the first place, it can be tempting to want to remind your spouse that they are still married to someone who still loves them very much. I know first hand that there can be a real worry that if they are outside of your presence, they will begin to forget what they loved about you. Or they will find that the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” is actually true.

    So it may be your normal inclination to tell your separated spouse that you love them every time you talk with or see them. And this is absolutely fine – so long as you are getting an enthusiastic response in reply. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

    A wife might say: “I know that it sounds desperate and needy. But I can not help it. Every time I talk to my separated husband, I tell him that I love him right before we hang up. I have done this for all the years that I have known him and old habits die hard. At the beginning of our separation, this seemed OK. But the last couple of times, I’ve noticed that he has hesitated before he gives a response. Last night, he didn’t say anything in response. I don’t mean to be dense. Obviously, he probably thinks that I am doing something wrong or he doesn’t want to hear me tell him that I love him during the separation. But not saying it feels like a lie. It feels like playing games or holding back. Am I supposed to pretend that I don’t love him? Because I find that ridiculous. I do love him. And it seems silly to me that I am not supposed to say it every day in the same way that I have for many years. Do I have to stop?”

    That is really up to you. I would never tell someone what to do during their marriage or during their separation. I can tell you what came to be my opinion as the result of a similar situation that I was in. But, I know that all situations are different. So I can’t say that what worked for me will work for you.

    But, during my own separation, it eventually became very clear that my husband was not receptive to me acting in the same way that I did while we were still happily married. When I tried to act as if we were any other married couple or that nothing was wrong, he would act distant or he would start to avoid me. If I pushed, it would get even worse and I would have to work very hard to even get him to take my calls. Frankly, there were times when I could almost literally feel him wince when I told him I loved him.

    As hard as it was to accept, I started to realize that if I didn’t change some things, I might be making this situation a whole lot worse. So I made a conscious decision to back off some. Did this mean I didn’t love my husband? No, if anything, I loved him just as much if not more. But I knew that if I was going to have a chance to maintain that love, I was going to have to find the strategy that brought him closer to me rather than pushing further away.

    And when I tried to push my love on to him, this definitely made him pull further away. So, I toned down my demonstrations and declarations of love. I told myself that this was only temporary, but it was difficult. Still, I knew what was most important was my long term goal and not my declarations of love in the moment.

    My backing off did eventually make things better because it eventually made my husband more receptive to me again. And his being receptive to me meant that we got to spend more time together – which never would have happened if I had continued on with my pushing.

    I can’t tell you what will work in your own situation. I can only suggest that if you notice something not working, then it sometimes makes sense to test out something else – if only once. Perhaps next time you talk to your husband and it is time to sign off, you might try something like: “tonight, I’m not going to insist that I love you, even though I do. I sense that it makes you uncomfortable. But I didn’t want you to think that I was angry or anything. I’m just trying to respect your wishes and not push.”

    At this point, your husband could reassure you that the loving phrases are fine. Or, he may not say anything – in which case his silence speaks volumes. If you do decide to back off and you find that the next time you talk, he seems more comfortable, then you may speculate that backing off a little has helped.

    I know that it might seem weird and almost dishonest to hold back with your own spouse. But a separation can be a very fragile time in a relationship – especially when one spouse has asked for space or isn’t sure what he wants. It become my opinion that if backing off a little is what it took for my husband to eventually be available to me, I was willing to pay that price at the time. Because I knew that it was part of a long-term strategy that was going to mean that I wouldn’t have to hold back once we reconciled.

    Today, I tell him that I love him all of the time, so holding off was worth it to me. And I believe it helped. But every situation is different. In some situations, both spouses are perfectly comfortable with still saying they love one another. And that’s wonderful. But it was not my reality. Still, if every one is happy, then I don’t see any reason to hold back.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • My Drug, My Bread And My Appetizer

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    Your love letters are my appetizer

    Your guffawing is my drug

    And you’re my daily bread chaser…

    Ha ha, you swear… I’m your ladybug,

    Who you’d always keep fuller,

    But now you swell…It’s you I brag!

    Gotcha! My appetizer, I grab you first

    Here are those words that you burst:

    MY LOVE

    I miss you, I miss you so much

    I cannot wait to be with you…

    And kiss you and hold you in my arms.

    I have so many love and hugs to give you

    My love for you and my feelings are present

    And it’s growing and glowing every day.

    Each day I would discover you,

    Each day you are different,

    Each day you are beautiful,

    Each day everything is all new…

    Each day my love for you would remain

    Very strong that I’d have it hard to contain!

    Each day I love you with all my heart!

    And I promise we will never be apart…

    Oh, I am sick of love for you

    Henceforth, today

    If you want to hurt me, you can…

    I am at your knees!

    I am your love on the altar of sacrifice.

    If you had ever had wished…

    You can tear my heart at every moment,

    And I am not afraid to love you,

    You are someone special and different…

    With you my scars have been healed

    And all my fears have vanished…

    I already know that I will share much with you,

    I already know I am going through a lot with you,

    I already know I will stay with you

    until the end of my days…

    My heart and my mind are wide open for you…

    Oh, my love is open at great day for you!

    I love you deeply…I believe in you

    Forever, with grace…

    Yes! Truly these words are MY APPETIZER

    Next you’d enhance my day with a booster…

    Because you’d let me eat you any time I’d plea

    Likewise you’d never ever want to leave me

    or look your way out, ‘coz with me you feel free

    Hahaha, we’d always find our days end with glee!

    Ah! MY BREAD, you’d give me all the nutrients I need

    As we breathe together with our true loving seed.

    When I drink you up MY DRUG, my master

    Like cocaine, Oh my… you got me so addicted

    I wouldn’t have a day without your dopey laughter

    You’re my heart-sore…you got me so captivated.

    “Yes, hear me all my dear Folks!

    Take delight in my Chef’ stroke…

    He’d bake faces- a wry face, a wince, a glower

    So that with him, I wouldn’t ever get bore

    Though I would try his glances to ignore

    Still here I am, I crave for him! Even I’d get sour

    With all of the sound of his freaky snore…

    Hehehe… Very strange! Because those lion’s roar

    Would only sound-like the jazz music I adore…

    And with it, never would give me a bit of a bother

    So funny…I’d sleep deeply sound and even soar…

    In the morning I would rush up to the platter

    When I’d hear the wake up call of a rooster

    But never from the clinch of my sweet and wild boar

    You bet, I’d yearn for him more… he’d pet me to endure…”

    Gosh! You spoil me with your French kiss

    With all of your love appetizer to taste…

    As much as I could have you all embraced

    You’re all mine to feel full and be blazed!

    You always give me the best of your all,

    All the fun and laughter that I needed

    My love, you’re my drug, and my soul

    You alone I would ever get me addicted…

    Every day with you is an awe-inspiring ball

    With all of your love recipes I would deserve,

    Oh, my daily bread you’re unique from them all,

    I would have you always loved and preserved…

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    Source by Abeille Amore

    Views: 0

  • Timing Counts In A Relationship

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    Human beings are social animals. Most of us crave the comfort and warmth of sharing life experiences and love with others. Most of us crave the intimacy of a love relationship, with shared hopes, dreams, and adventures of life.

    We want deep and loving relationships, and they are a lot of hard work to make them happen. A friend of mine said, the dream is on the other side of the hard work.

    Having the dream is worth it. That makes the hard work worth it, too.

    Part of the hard work is being realistic about timing.

    Timing matters about dealing with things within a loving relationship.

    If your partner has had a lot of external conflict or stress in the day, it is probably not the best time to bring up talking about a new challenge you are interested in. It may be time to listen, to just be together, and to nurture, rather than a time to bring up additional conversation that may be stressful.

    Timing also matters in starting a new relationship. Being in a healthy place and relationship with yourself first gives a better chance of relationship success.

    What kinds of timing issues could there be?

    1. Work Stress. If your career is at a point where it is demanding 70 or 80 hour weeks, where you are exhausted the rest of the time and your mind is full of work challenges and solutions, it's probably not the best time to try to start a new relationship . Your date may very well feel neglected and overlooked. What can you do? Make some changes in your specify if you can. Or have a conversation, let the person know you're interested and that you need a bit of time to straighten things out. Either he or she accepts that and is willing to wait a bit, or not. You've taken responsibility, and need to accept both your situation and the response.

    2. Financial Difficulties. Tough financial times are not a good time to begin a relationship. Your partner could feel used as a money resource. You could embroil your partner in your problems rather than find common interests.

    3. Recent breakup. No matter how well you broke up, you will have some loss to deal with. It's best to heal from the baggage of your loss before you try to enter into a new relationship.

    4. Recent trauma. It could be a death in the family, an illness, the loss of a job, even being in an accident or a crime victim. The best idea is to work through your emotions over the trauma before investing in a new relationship. Things are going to come up until you deal that will interrupt and strain the exploration and fun you want to have.

    5. Long Distance. Relationships are hard enough without adding long distance. In a new relationship you want to get to know one another, spend time together, and share experiences. The honeymoon phase of a new relationship is precious. Resentments may occur that wouldn't happen without the distance challenge.

    Timing in Relationships is crucial. Stresses are going to happen. If you are in a committed relationship, seeking good timing counts, for dealing with life issues.

    Setting a time together to talk can be a good idea. For a new relationship, diving in when the timing is wrong is a set-up for failure and disappointment. The goal is love and happiness. Be mindful of timing.

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    Source by Annie Collyer

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  • Music Sparks Emotion in a Video Commercial

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    Have you ever tried to watch a video commercial or advertisement without music? If so, there are few things you may have thought: that it was different due to the silence yet you seemed to like it, or you didn’t care for it at all making it easy to go on with your daily activities never giving it a second thought as to what the commercial was even selling. Ninety five percent of the time the latter happens because music is almost a sure-fire way to create emotions and moods in video advertising.

    When it comes to advertisements, music has the power to create better moods in video commercials, as well as to bring a more personal touch to these ads. As a result, it provides a better impact to their target audience, therefore effectively promoting products and services.

    While visuals might be appealing to marketers’ target consumers, the use of music in video media advertising tends to create a more lasting impression in consumers’ minds, providing a great chance for companies to build positive brand or company images.

    Setting the Mood

    Simple video advertisements sometimes could set the proper ambiance when they are without music. Of course, there are some scenes which might be perfectly shot and produced, but music enhances this mood and ambiance in any video media, providing a great complement to these scenes and stamping a long-term impact in the audience’s minds.

    Consider this situation: There is a video of a woman who seems to be standing in the middle of crowd. With the video alone, it doesn’t seem to mean anything. There is also a big chance that people would simply forget it, thinking that it is just some boring video. On the other hand, applying music in this advertisement would set a deeper mood – something that would connect better to the target audience. Slow music in this situation would set the mood of sadness, as if the woman is sadly waiting for somebody. On the other hand, upbeat music would set a more positive and outgoing mood, as if the woman would soon do something funny.

    Suggesting the Right Emotions

    The use of music in video commercials also hints what the audience or the target market should feel when they see these ads. Without music, people are sometimes confused as to how they should react to these ads. Music in video ads makes sure that your desired feelings are conveyed to your audience by suggesting certain emotions. It does not overly push the feeling towards your audience, but it acts as a way to make your audience think about what they should feel as suggested by the music. Music in video media ads, therefore, helps marketers and advertisers to somewhat help tell the target audience which kind of feelings should be felt in these video advertisements.

    Evoking More Intense Emotions

    Simple emotions found in scenes in video ads can be heightened further with the use of music. A scene of a sad woman would even be sadder with the right music, and can evoke more intense emotions to its viewers. Music can greatly affect the effectiveness of these video media ads because they can make the audience relate to a particular emotion or feeling. Affecting people’s emotions through music will make your advertised product, service or company to be related to a particular strong emotion, such as happy, uplifting, energetic or loving.

    Catchy Tunes Tend to Leave Longer Lasting Impressions

    Admit it – once in your life, you might have had some music stuck in your head because it was played in some video advertisement. Months or years later, you still remember that particular product, service or company whenever you hear the music. People tend to link music, brands and companies together, which just shows how effective music can be in video advertisements as compared to using only text or visuals. Video media advertising and commercials with music invest in long-term brand or company images in the consumer’s minds.

    Video advertisements that tend to be the most effective, almost always balance between the use of audio and video. Music can enhance the audio, and it should offset the video to effectively relay the marketers’ desired messages to their particular audiences.

    Some advertisements are better without music, but these are very rare and always depend from case to case. Most of the time, the best advertisements which leave lasting impressions are those with perfect mixtures of audio and video. The next time you watch a video advertisement, consider muting the audio. You will see a different message and effect as compared to watching it with the audio and music.

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    Source by Ann Rountre

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  • Should You Attempt To Show Your Spouse Affection During A Marital Separation?

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    Many people who are reluctantly separated are not sure how they are supposed to act around their separated spouse. This can seem very odd. After all, this is your spouse that we are talking about. Chances are, you have known him for a very long time and being around him should feel as natural as breathing. However, if you are separated and want to reconcile, you can sometimes sense that you are on shaky ground with your spouse. You don’t want to do or say anything that will make him uncomfortable or drive him away. And yet, the wish to reach out to him can be hard to ignore.

    Someone might ask, “How do people handle the showing of affection during trial separations? My husband and I have only been separated for a short time and honestly, I’m not quite sure of protocol here. My husband was over visiting the kids this weekend and we were discussing a sad issue with my husband’s extended family. My husband was upset and I went to hug him, with no ulterior motive whatsoever. I simply wanted to give him some comfort. I didn’t really think about it beforehand. But when I did it, I felt my husband bristle. He literally stiffened at my touch. I pulled away and tried not to make a big deal of it. Later I talked about this with one of my friends and she suggested that perhaps I should not show physical affection to my husband while we are separated. She said that when you separated, you aren’t necessarily loving on one another. Is this true? Should I not be showing affection to my husband right now? He wanted to separate. I did not, but none of this means that I don’t love him anymore. If I shouldn’t show him affection, I could stop. But I don’t really want to. I feel like I’ve already lost so much. Do people really not show affection while separated?”

    It really does depend on the couple. I know some couples who continue to hug, kiss, have sex, etc, while separated. And I know others who hesitate to touch in any way. There is really no hard and fast rule about this. And in my opinion and observation (based and on my own separation,) I think that it is best if you either follow the understandings that you’ve already established. Or, if you have not established boundaries, you either ask now or read your spouse’s cues to determine his comfort level.

    My husband seemed pretty uncomfortable in similar situations and finally I just asked him. I literally said, “Should I not do this?” when I attempted to reach out to him. My husband didn’t flat out tell me no, but he was clearly not comfortable with physical affection in the beginning of our separation. So I eventually decided to just allow him to take the lead. That way, I didn’t have to worry about doing something that would hurt communication between us. Instead, I eventually focused on trying to be comfortable and to laugh and relax with one another so that he’d want to keep communicating. Further down the road, he was the one to initiate physical affection and I believe that this worked best for us, but that may not be true of every couple.

    I do also know that things may change from one day to the next. There might be a time when your spouse pulls away from you and then three days later, he’s reaching out to hug you. It can certainly be confusing and can give you mixed signals. However, I don’t think that you can ever go wrong by being friendly and supportive, but also observant as to how he is acting and how receptive that he might be at the time.

    I realize that this is frustrating. I used to think during my own separation that it just should not be so hard to know how to act around my own husband. But I think that if I would have pressed the issue and pushed affection when he wasn’t receptive, that might have delayed our progress even more. I learned that you really do have to take a gradual approach and just accept the progress that you are given.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • Healing At Home

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    Healing at home is something everyone can do and is really easy once you understand and know what you are doing. There are many different methods you can use, as it is not all one set in stone process that works for everyone. I am going to give you some areas to start with today to get you on your own healing pathway in life. These are easy things to do that almost anyone can do right after they finish reading the article!

    Affirmation Healing: This is one that is very simple and extremely easy to do. You simply work with positive affirmations to shift your subconscious programming to a positive mind-set. This takes about 21 days for one to shift here, however in the grand scheme of things 21 days is a drop in the bucket. You want to work with positive wording as well for your affirmations and in the present tense. For example, you can say “I am worthy of love” if you are working on a self-love issue or receive loving from others. It is about forming it in a positive mind-set and present tense. Repeat daily (3 times a day) for 21 days.

    Prayer Healing: Prayer healing is simply working with prayers to boost the energy flow for your healing work. Simple enough right? It is a combination of prayer work and asking for healing help for a particular issue in your life. Prayer healing work can be done twice a day (morning and evening) and best in a quiet room. Prayer healing work can take longer to manifest, however it is very easy to use. Here is an example of a Financial Prayer to get you started so you can see how you can formulate a healing prayer:

    Financial Healing Prayer: I ask for guidance and healing during my prayer/meditation session. I call upon the Universe/Divine Spirit/God/Ascended Masters/Angel Realm to help me heal all financial issues I have in my life and allow for positive healing energy to come forth for this healing process. I am open to removing any blockages and issues that are holding me back and to heal all areas in this process. I acknowledge these issues and allow and stay open to receiving positive financial and money energy flowing into my life in a positive way.

    Crystal Healing: Crystal healing is all about working with the vibrational levels of crystals and their healing properties. For example, if you want to boost the abundance energy flow for your home or office you can create an Emerald gem elixir with charged healing water and mist the surrounding areas once a day to shift the vibrational level of the energy flow. Crystal healing can help in all emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and energetic issues. When working with crystals for healing energy it is about finding the one’s that resonate for your energy, as many crystals can help with crystal healing for abundance issues, however certain one’s help more than other’s for their vibrational levels. Then you have to work with these to find the one’s that resonate best for your own energy fields. Emerald’s are good one’s to start with for abundance energy flow for a home, office or other area you want to boost the energy flow.

    Energy Healing: Energy healing is all about working with balancing the energy flow, removing problems, creating positive healing energy and allowing the vibrational level for the person and their energetic make-up to increase. This is something you can even learn to do on your own by working with different energy formats. A very basic one to start with is Usui Reiki, as this is a very general healing Reiki format that many people start with for their own healing energy. You can also work with very specific energy modalities that are more customized for their healing vibrational levels, such as protection energy formats for protection healing and so on. Energy healing is about finding the root cause of the issue, not just treating the symptoms of the issue, and then working on removing this, balancing the energy flow and healing the area completely.

    There are many other healing methods you can work with, as these are just some of the ones I have listed here for you today. Other one’s you can check into are angelic healing, color therapy, divine source healing, herbal healing, nature healing, sound healing and many more! It is about finding what resonates for your own energy and what you want to work with to heal issues on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. This is how things will all balance out on an energetic level for your energy fields!

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    Source by Nicole Lanning

    Views: 0

  • 70 Romantic Phrases That Make Men Fall Deeper In Love

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    Romantic communication is just one of the proven communication tools you can use to make your man fall madly in love and fulfill your heart’s romantic desires. There is a lot of love-creating power in the romantic words that come out of your mouth. This article will reveals 70 romantic phrases you can start using today to make your man fall madly in

    love. You may not say these things phrased exactly the way I have written them, but if you want your man to be addicted to your love, you must speak to him with words that will melt the walls he has build around his heart.

    Feel free to use any of the romantic phrases that best suit your communication style.

    1. All I care about is being with you forever.

    2. All the gold and diamond in the world are not enough to buy the love I have for you.

    3. God created you for just for me.

    4. I am addicted to your love.

    5. I am crazy about you.

    6. I cannot live without you.

    7. I cannot stop thinking about you.

    8. I did not mean to hurt your feelings.

    9. I do not want to wake up from this wonderful dream with you.

    10. I feel safe when I am with you.

    11. I get lost in ecstasy when you make love to me.

    12. I have finally discovered true love – you.

    13. I love talking to you.

    14. I love the way you make love to me.

    15. I miss your hugs and kisses when we are apart.

    16. I thank God for the day he brought you into my life.

    17. I want to spend forever with you.

    18. I will give anything to be with you.

    19. I will give you my heart, my body, and my soul.

    20. I will go with you to the ends of the world as long as you keep loving me.

    21. I will rather be broke than trade your love for a million dollars.

    22. I will travel a thousand miles to be with you.

    23. I wish God had brought you to me sooner.

    24. If anything happens to you, I will go crazy.

    25. If I could I would make love to you a thousand times.

    26. If I had to live life over again, I would live it with you.

    27. If loving you is a sin, then let me be guilty.

    28. If our love is blind, then I never want it to see the light of day.

    29. Life without you will be like going to sleep and never having sweet dreams.

    30. Loving you feels like heaven.

    31. Loving you has made life even sweeter.

    32. Loving you has made my life so full of joy and happiness.

    33. My heart cries when we are apart.

    34. You are my love, my heart, and my life.

    35. No man has loved me the way you love me.

    36. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you.

    37. Ooh sweetie, you are so good to me.

    38. Your warm hugs and your tender kisses are more precious than gold.

    39. Talking to you is like sipping the most delicious wine – I want it to last forever.

    40. The times we spend together are like precious gems that money cannot buy.

    41. Time stops when you hold me in your arms.

    42. When I am with you, my troubles seem to melt away.

    43. When I look at you I see a man that I find irresistible.

    44. Words are not enough to express how much I love you.

    45. You are my prince.

    46. You are my soul mate.

    47. You are the most important person in my life.

    48. You are the music that makes my heart sing.

    49. You are the only man I ever want in my life.

    50. You are the other half that makes me feel whole.

    51. You are the perfect man for me.

    52. You are the sweetest man I know.

    53. You bring nothing but love, peace, joy, and happiness to my soul.

    54. You bring so much joy and happiness to my life.

    55. You love me gently.

    56. You make me feel like a woman.

    57. You make me feel so good I want to kiss you from your head to your toe.

    58. You make me want you more each day.

    59. You treat me like a princess and I love you with all my heart.

    60. Your are the kindest man I know.

    61. Your caring words touch the deepest part of me.

    62. Your hugs and kisses melt my heart like chocolate ice cream on a warm summer day.

    63. Your kisses are like warm chocolate on a cold winter night.

    64. Your kisses are so good I feel tingles all over.

    65. Your love is like a solid rock that will never break.

    66. Your love is so good I can’t get away even if I wanted to.

    67. Your love warms my heart like the glow of a candle light in a midsummer night’s dream.

    68. Your loving whispers in a moon-lit night are like soothing wine, they put me in the mood.

    69. Your smile is so comforting it makes my tears go away.

    70. Your gentle touch sends chills up and down my spine.

    Life without endearing words is like being in a garden without flowers. Endearing words create a feeling that transcends our reality and makes life worth living.

    Feel free to to share this article with all your friends.

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    Source by Steve Ubah

    Views: 0

  • He Doesn’t Know If He Wants to Marry Me! What This Means for Your Future

    He Doesn’t Know If He Wants to Marry Me! What This Means for Your Future

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    When you’re a woman who has dreamed for years of a romantic proposal and a beautiful white wedding dress, you’re bound to be disappointed when your intended groom has cold feet. One of the most disheartening things any woman can say about the man she loves is, “he doesn’t know if he wants to marry me.” It stings, it frustrates and it makes you second guess the entire relationship. How can he possibly say he utterly adores you and can’t imagine his life without you yet he won’t take any step towards marriage? If your guy seems completely stuck in boyfriend mode and he says he’s unsure about marriage, you really need to address why that is. If you ignore this, with the hope that one day he’ll “come to his senses” and propose, you may find yourself waiting impatiently five or even ten years from now.

    Before you do anything else, ask your man why he doesn’t want to marry you. You must be prepared for any potential answer though. Typically a commitment phobic man will resort to saying that he is scared of the idea of marriage because his parents divorced or he doesn’t feel financially stable yet. Those are valid reasons for any man to be hesitant about a serious step towards commitment. If he confides in you why he doesn’t feel ready yet, you can then work together towards finding a suitable compromise. Maybe you need to talk more about what caused his parents’ divorce so you are both aware of any potential triggers that may make him withdraw after the wedding. Or it may be more of a matter of talking frankly and openly about your mutual finances and how you can both invest in a future wedding.

    If your boyfriend stumbles when it comes to answering questions about why he doesn’t want to get married, you should be concerned. Sadly, the reason some men don’t want to get married is because they don’t feel that their current girlfriend is their ideal partner. You’ll be hard pressed to get your boyfriend to admit that this is the drive behind his desire to stay dating instead of committed, but you can read between the lines to gather the information you need.

    Consider how he views marriage in general. If he seems happy when a friend gets engaged and he’s talking often about how he hopes to be married one day, you need to pay attention to whether your name is ever mentioned as part of that plan. Some men will date one woman until they decide it’s time to look for a life partner. That’s when the break up occurs and just a few months later the man in question is suddenly marrying someone he just met. Most of us know of a couple just like that and typically it’s because either the man or the woman just didn’t see their partner as marriage material so they went looking for someone who was.

    Giving your man an ultimatum about marriage can actually be the undoing of any future that you two may have had, married or not. If you tell him that it’s marriage or the relationship is over, don’t be shocked if he says goodbye. You’re much better off talking to him rationally about how he envisions the future and whether or not he anticipates ever changing his mind about wanting to marry you. If he’s certain that he wants to remain your boyfriend and not your husband for the next several years, you then have an important decision to make. Remember your future happiness is in your own hands, so take all the knowledge you have of your man, weigh it against what you truly want in your life and go from there.

    This is clearly a situation in which you need to place your priorities in order so you can make an informed decision. Emotional circumstances like these can cloud our judgment. It’s hard to know whether marriage is more important than loving him. If you want the ring, the dress and the happily-ever-after future and he won’t budge in his decision to not pursue that, consider where you want your life to be in a year, or five years. The answer of what is best for you is found in looking towards your own future and fulfilling your own personal goals including a healthy, committed marriage with a man who sees the joy in being your better half.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • The Enduring Nature of Love

    The Enduring Nature of Love

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    Love Endures and we are reminded of this idea during this month of February, when Valentine's Day is celebrated .. Now- a- days, people buy cards and send e-greetings to their beloveds. But long ago, people expressed their love via post or letters delivered on horseback.No telephones, Internet and mass media were utilized to convey the message from one lover's heart to another. I adore the old romantic movies from early US history, where letters are hand crafted with delicate calligraphy to express the heartfelt passion of the lovers heart.The letters are then carefully sealed with wax and given to an entrusted delivery person or mail service to ensure that their beloved, however near or far away will receive it. Upon receipt of the letter, that may have taken weeks or months to arrive, the cherished recipient opens it, and is reminded that love endures through time and distance.

    How very different this delayed gratification is, from the immediacy of sending a text, email or Instagram post as we do nowadays.With technology so highly advanced, one can reach out to many people at one time and express their love and they can voice their love many times a day to one or numerous friends and lovers near and far. Also, there is no need to wait for a response, as in days gone by, instead one can receive immediate feedback that their loved ones care for them. But perhaps this instant gratification of love expressed virtually has outweighed the benefits of love that is cultivated slowly and held closely to one's heart over time and space.

    I imagine that years ago, before mass communication was available, that love was more tenderly cherished and expressions of love, although more infrequent, were possibly more genuine.The innocence of love that endures over time without the constant need for a barrage of proof that comes from texts, calls, emails and Instagrams that one is loved is a special gift. Consider the friend whom you haven't heard from in many years, who suddenly resurfaces in your life (maybe from a Facebook search) Upon reconnecting with one another, the love that was there may be instantly reignited and a bond that was formed eons ago can come to life again.This is proof that love endures through time and doesn't diminish because of lack of contact. remember that just because you have not heard from someone in a while, that does not mean that they don't love you.

    Perhaps you have been lucky enough to connect with a person who feels incredibly familiar to you upon first meeting them. You may have a sense of loving them automatically. This could possibly be a divine union that began in another lifetime, only to be continued in this time and space.When true love is present, the power of that formidable force can transcend all physical limitations.This applies to our loved ones that have moved on to the other side of life as well. Their love is still accessible to us. True love endures ceaselessly.

    During this Valentine's month, look deep within your heart and see if there is someone you could reach out to and express your love for them, even though time may have passed since your last encounter. You just might be pleasantly surprised to discover that love endures through time and space.

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    Source by Liah Howard

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  • Created To Bond – Changes That Heal – Part I

    Created To Bond – Changes That Heal – Part I

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    Since God is a relational being and we were created in His image, we too are relational. We were created as relational beings and it does not matter who we are or what we may possess materially, we still need an emotional connection to other human beings. When we are outside of relationship, we lack the very essence that makes us who we are as a person. One of the most pervasive truths is that close connection with others is fundamental to our existence.

    It has been said that no man is an island. Every person on the earth is related to someone else through family, associations, employment, religion and a myriad of other ways. At our very core we are relational beings and must be connected in some ay to others. In order to survive we draw on the resources of others for things that we do not have within ourselves nor can provide for ourselves without the assistance of someone else.

    If we are to prosper and grow, we need to be connected to God and to one another. This connection fuels our transformation and causes us to blossom and bear fruit. Many times we find ourselves in a state of barrenness because we think that we can survive without other people. It is evidenced in some of our verbal expressions such as, “I can do it on my own; I don’t need you; I don’t need nobody.”

    As this attitude of emotional and spiritual isolation continues serious problems arise because with relationships to others we cannot be ourselves. This lack of relationship and bonding brings about alienation and a sense of emptiness that leads to pain, depression and hatred. Often times we remain in this state not understanding that it is the lack of relationship that is causing the pain and we are not willing to renew relationships in order to alleviate that pain.

    This unwillingness leads to our tying to hold ourselves together not knowing that in order to do so we need the support of those whom we refuse to connect with. Therefore, we find that we remain alone and our world becomes increasingly chaotic. Truly, no man is an island for even an island must be in relationship even if it is with what is not like it (the ocean) otherwise it could not be what it is.

    Developing And Renewing Relationships

    We are born in a state of non-conformity. We move from a warm, safe environment to a harsh and cold one. Often the first thing we feel is pain as the doctor or nurse whacks us on the behind. We are now in a position where we have to depend on fallible people to care for us. Yet, as we grow, time and the relationship that develops with others, specially our mother, help us to begin the bonding process. Many people believe that as children, we automatically love our mother. They have not come to the understanding that the emotional bond between a mother and child is one that develops through the love, closeness and care that the mother provides for the child. As time passes, the child internalizes his mother’s care and comfort that gives him a greater sense of security. It fills his memory storehouse with thousands of loving memories from which to draw in times of loneliness and grief. These memories are also an encouragement to him during his passage through hard times in his life because they leave an indelible impression on him as to his worth. This impression is a means for him to have a sense of being emotionally secure in who he is even though he may be alone. It also helps him to connect with others.

    All sorts of emotional, psychological, and neurological processes begin in a child based on the child’s emotional bond with its mother. As the child develops and is nurtured he develops a sense of security and belonging. This is the mechanism that propels the child out into the world to establish other friendships and helps him to bond as he begins to feel as apart of the group.

    In time, this confidence that emerges from being a part of something bigger than themselves leads to a desire to separate from their home and enter into the adult world where emotional attachment can be formed to fuel and support them for the rest of their lives.

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    Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

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