Global Digital Store – Ebooks and Softwares

Tag: Emotions

  • Holistic Approach For Faster and Better Healing – What Does It Include?

    [ad_1]

    The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word holistic as follows:

    “relating to or concerned with complete systems rather than with individual parts”

    This term – holistic is used a lot these days in terms of healing and curing diseases/ailments. Looking at the definition, this seems to be an obvious route to rightful healing any particular ailment or disease.

    Diet

    When we visit a doctor looking for curing some of our physical issues, he/she will give us some medicine/drug. These days, doctors also prescribe dietary recommendations to follow for faster recovery. Why do they do it? Is the medicine alone not enough? You will say, there is an obvious reason. The medicine will fight against the undesired elements in the body and diet will help build strength at the same time normalizing the function and thereby facilitating the healing process, right? If there is such a holistic approach, the healing is better and faster.

    Stress

    It is very commonly understood that stress makes any ailment or disease worse. Therefore, stress management along with medicine and diet further accelerates the healing process. One might watch comedy movies, read positive books, stay in positive company, or take a walk in park, play some sport or exercise for eliminating stress and thereby helping the healing.

    The Energy Body

    The Energy Body interpenetrates the physical body and extends beyond it by a few inches. This is one another aspect that healing professionals are also looking into for a much more holistic approach. The energy body is also seen affected by various clairvoyants and the effect of working on energy body is manifested on physical body sometimes immediately and sometimes with a time-lag depending on various factors.

    Working on energy body alone does not seem to be a holistic approach either, although, there are many who are trying to do it. Just like traditional medicine is supported by diet and stress management, the energy healing/medicine can also receive equivalent support from traditional medicine, diet and stress management. It is ideal to do all four

    Counselling (Emotional Body)

    Another aspect that is also very important is our emotions and our will power. This is a deeper and very important aspect of healing that is mostly ignored. Are we emotionally and mentally ready to get healed? Sometimes medicines do not work, diet does not work, energy healing does not work. One of the reasons is our willingness to heal which is influenced to some extent by our emotions. One should also consider taking counselling sessions with the therapist, or with someone else or sometimes talking to ones own self also does wonders. The holistic approach should definitely include this aspect of healing as well.

    It will be great to know if any of the aspects are missed and comments on the description mentioned in the article. Feel free to share your thoughts by comments or email.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Nazia Hirani

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Left Because He Needs Space – But I Love Him and Want Him to Come Home, What Should I Do?

    [ad_1]

    I recently heard from a wife who was quite lonely and devastated. Last week, her husband had decided that he “needed some space,” and he packed his bags and left the home. He had called a few times during his absence, but he wouldn’t give the wife any specifics about how long he expected to be gone and when (or if) he was coming back. The wife regretted how they had left things. They had argued and she had said some things that she definitely didn’t mean while the husband had said some heartless things to her as well.

    So, she had no idea where she stood or where the marriage was headed. And, even though she was angry at the husband for leaving her and for the things that she said, she knew that she still loved him and she wanted for him to come home as soon as possible. She did not want for this one impulsive event to mean the end of her marriage. But she didn’t know how to change the path that they seemed to be on. And, every time she tried to broach this subject with her husband and express her feelings to him, he became flustered and abruptly ended the conversation.

    So, it was clear to the wife that the topic was, at least for now, off limits. And, this left her confused as what she should do. She worried that if she just dropped the topic and backed off altogether, then her husband might just continue to drift away and not come home. But, she didn’t want to continue to push him further away.

    Actually, from my own experience and research, I believe that there is a happy medium here and a tactic that usually brings about the best outcome for everyone concerned. It would also allow for the wife to keep her self respect intact and to emerge in a position of strength rather than one of weakness.

    Even Though You Want Him Home, Try Not To Come On Too Strongly: Obviously, if the wife had her way, the husband would come home full of love and apologies that very evening. But, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t likely. The husband had been calling less and less and seemed more and more annoyed. Believe it or not, you will usually get better results and a better response from him if you let him come to you rather than pushing yourself onto him when he is not receptive to this.

    When I tell women this they will often respond with something like: “well, if I wait for him to pursue me or to come around, I may be waiting around forever. I can’t risk it. What if the saying ‘out of sight out of mind’ is true? What if I give him this space and he doesn’t ever come back to me?”

    Here’s what you might want to consider. He has already left. You can not turn back time and keep this from happening. But, what you can control is how you react right now. You can control how you present yourself right now and this is likely going to influence his perceptions of what he really wants. And, his perceptions aren’t likely to be good if you push when he’s not receptive or focus on the negative and how miserable you are without him.

    A desperate woman who is nagging, debating, or falling apart is not likely to be perceived as attractive. I don’t mean to be cruel about this, but my conversations with men who visit my blog indicate to me that, unfortunately, this is just the way that it is.

    Presenting Yourself As The Woman That You Know He Really Wants: Many women in this situation tell me that they feel like they are no longer who or what their husband wants. You mustn’t think this way. Here’s what you have likely forgotten. He has already chosen you once. You’ve already proven that you have the attributes that he values the most. He was already so crazy about you that he married you.

    Yes, things have started to go wrong and your life might be off track. But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t fix it. You know what he loves about you. Make sure he sees these things without your having to over reach for them. Wait until he is more receptive and then give him small doses of who you know he loves very much. Always keep things light hearted and allow for him to see the woman that he has been missing.

    Even if you feel frightened, unsure, and insecure, save these emotions for trusted girlfriends and family members because it is so important that you try to keep all of the perceptions as positive as you can right now. Make sure that he thinks you aren’t moping around the house praying for his return. Give the impression that you’re confident that if you can gradually improve things, he will come back willingly because you are meant to be together. If you can pull this off, you’ll often find that he’s becoming more and more receptive to you and to the idea of coming home.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • How to Win Consistently at Trading Forex

    [ad_1]

    Trading Forex is a fantastic career or hobby, but unless you are winning consistently then it can be a short lived career or an expensive hobby. The elation of a win is often followed by several losses if you don’t have a serious approach to your money management strategy and control of your emotions. In this article we are going to establish a money management and psychological strategy that will help you win consistently at trading Forex.

    First of all let us look at the trade settings themselves. Now this article is not to define a winning strategy; but to show you that even a strategy that only wins 50% of the time can make consistent returns. You may already have a winning strategy but poor money and psychological management.

    It is important to aim for a 3:1 risk reward ratio. In simple terms; you need to look for trades that can offer you 3 times the return of the potential loss. If you adopt this approach then you only need to win 50% of the time because your wins out way the losses by 3 times. Once you master this rule you are well on your way to a winning strategy.

    Research your trades well and do not jump into the markets without doing your analysis whether that is fundamental or technical. If you can stick to these rules then you are half way to winning the psychological battle as well.

    The biggest issue traders face is getting into trades too early because they think they are going to miss the trade or too late because they were scared to pull the trigger. Leaving a trade too early because they believe it is about to turn against them, only to later watch it hit their, would be, take profit level. Or, equally as common, they let the trade run and run expecting more and more profit only to let all the profit get sucked away in a reversal. There is an old saying amongst successful traders “plan your trade and trade your plan. That is exactly what you should do.

    Don not let your emotions let you take profit early if that was not your original plan. Make sure you plan for the trade turning before your profit level and have a preset plan to take profit. A solid plan is to take profit if the trade has reached 90% of the target and is showing signs of reversal. If you have your stop loss set correctly from your original analysis do not extend it as you are compromising your 3:1 risk reward ratio. Keeping these rules in min is the first step to winning consistently at Forex trading.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Adam Woods

    Views: 0

  • Anger In The Emotional GateKeeper

    [ad_1]

    Anger is our emotional gatekeeper and if used effectively it will provide us with the ability to interact with the world fully aware of when our emotional gates should remain open and when to keep them closed.

    Imagine the gatekeeper for a moment. She knows that her job is to protect. She also knows that if she is over protective those inside the gate will die from starvation or suffer from a lack of exposure to the outside world.

    In the same way, anger protects our most vulnerable emotions. When we feel emotions like fear, disappointment, pain, grief, loss, rejection, humiliation, jealousy, being taken advantage of etc. anger forms a protective layer to keep others form further exploiting us. This is a wonderful tool in our emotional arsenal. Sadly just like the over zealous gatekeeper who keeps the gate close-anger can be destructive by fostering isolation from ourselves and others.

    When our anger is appropriately, others will know through good communication that we have been negatively affected by their actions and in turn we can take steps to meet our own needs to ease our pain, disappointment, embarrassment etc. without becoming uselessly angry.

    Let us see anger for what it is–the emotional gatekeeper that protects our other emotions however we need to also remember that there is a delicate balance between protections and suffocation.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Carlos Todd

    Views: 0

  • Pranic Psychotherapy Release From Addictions or Compulsive Behaviour

    [ad_1]

    I start by defining ‘ MCKS pranic psychotherapy’. It is a method which is based on pranic healing techniques of scanning, cleansing, energizing, shielding, and releasing. These techniques are based on the principles of transmissibility of energy from practitioner to client, on receptivity of client to receiving the healing prana, and on the shielding of the chakras and aura from penetration by negative thought entities and elementals.

    Elementals are energy beings which are composed of thought entities that feed on intense emotions of anger, fear, grief, or hatred. A thought entity is an idea which has attached to it a strong emotion which gives it substance in the energy field. This entity resides in the aura, in the mental field, and can penetrate through chakras when the webs are cracked, torn, or damaged. These webs can be repaired and sealed with gold pranic light energy which the practitioner intends and transmits through their hand chakra or crystal wand.

    The power of intention moving energy is at the core of the basis for pranic healing being effective.

    Crystal wands are used by the practitioner of pranic psychotherapy to accelerate the intensity of energy which can be transmitted to the client and reduces considerably the absorption of negative energies involved in the healing process which may be attracted to stick to the hands and arms of the practitioner which is manipulating the energy during the healing process. This absorption of negative energy on the arms and hands of the pranic practitioner is greater when a crystal is not used. This requires the practitioner’s use of an alcohol spray with certain essential oils to dissipate any negative energies which may be adhered to the hands and arms while cleansing.

    Depression, anxiety, and addictions can be consequences of suffering trauma or injury whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. These injuring consequences leave wounds upon the recipient and are often accompanied by recurring thoughts, emotions, and when severe, hallucinations, which inflict suffering and despair. These consequences can also be paralyzing and prevent the client from taking action to be gainfully employed, to maximize one’s life potential, and to be socially active and productive financially, and to be successfully engaged in relationships at all levels.

    The grace of pranic psychotherapy is in its ability to remove these negative energies which accompany trauma, injury, or accidents. The psychic shielding is also a necessary feature of this treatment to ensure that these negative energies don’t return to inflict emotional and mental pain. There is often the need for subsequent repeat treatments to fully and completely remove all negative energies and elementals which are causing the recurring thoughts, emotions, and patterns.

    The sealing, repairing, and strengthening of the chakral webs further ensures the healing of the etheric body and preventing elementals and negative thought entities penetrating the chakras and affecting the emotional and mental body of the client.

    Master Choa Kok Sui has created this protocol which is administered through certified associate pranic healers, like myself, who have been trained in pranic psythotherapy and have documented successes with treating clients with the above mentioned wounds.

    So far I’ve only mentioned how pranic psychotherapy can be useful to treat injuries from trauma resulting in anxiety, depression, and/or motivational paralysis.

    Another important treatment feature of this pranic psychotherapy technique is to treat individuals suffering from addictive tendencies and obsessive compulsive tendencies.

    The same principles apply wherein the negative thought and emotional entities are creating audio and/or video tapes of incidents of trauma or woundedness which are repeated and which induce a continuous pattern of destructive repeated behaviours which become addictions or obsessive compulsive patterns of behaviour.

    Pranic Psychotherapy can be useful treatment technique for addiction to smoking, alcohol or drugs, and other repetitive negative behaviours which are destructive, self-harming, or self-limiting.

    These treatments have been successful in reducing and eliminating panic attacks which clients have experienced in social contexts. The triggers which bring on these panic attacks have been identified and the removal of the anxiety energies around the aura and chakras has prevented triggering of panic attacks in future situations.

    The shielding of the chakras and aura are also a necessary ingredient of this healing technique to protect the client from persistent and recurring thoughts and emotions which are symptomatic.

    The element of openness and receptivity must be mentioned as being an essential aspect of the healing process. The presence of these elements is necessary to obtain a successful outcome.

    There are also other reasons why people don’t heal. Carolyn Myss makes mention in her book: “Why People Don’t Heal”. In her book she makes mention of the karmic reason for people not healing from a particular wound. In summary the reasons may be that this person has lessons to learn in this incarnation and that this soul needs to go through this trial or tribulation to learn a particular lesson. Past life negative karma catches up with us, if not resolved, and requires it being worked out, perhaps in this incarnation. That’s why inner reflection and firm resolutions are necessary to heal whatever remains of past life karmas which have been destructive to self or others.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Roger Fontaine

    Views: 0

  • Book Summary – The Master-Key to Riches – Written by Napoleon Hill

    [ad_1]

    This book in a nutshell is a must read for anybody wanted to improve their lives. Regardless of what area you want to improve, Napoleon Hill shows the Master-Key works. Napoleon Hill died in 1970 at 87 years old. Thus the research he did was way ahead of his time. He profiled Andrew Carnegie who created U.S. Steel and mentored Charles Schwab. Andrew Carnegie commissioned Napoleon Hill to profile successful people to see if there was a pattern. This book along with Think and Grow Rich is a combination of that research.

    Why is this important to me?

    If I was spending my precious time listening to this video then the first question I would ask is – Why is this important to me?

    This is important because Mr. Hill explains the 12 riches of life and how to achieve them. Are you where you want to be or do you need help defining true happiness? The study of the 12 riches and the Master-Key defined in this book will give you the blueprint for happiness.

    The 12 Riches of Life are: 1. Positive Mental Attitude, 2. Sound Physical Health, 3. Harmony in Human Relationships, 4. Freedom from Fears, 5. The Hope of Achievements, 6. The Capacity of Faith, 7. Willingness to Share One’s Blessings, 8. A labor of Loves, 9. An Open Mind on All Subjects, 10, Self-discipline, 11. The capacity to Understand People, 12. Economic Security.

    All 12 riches are important but for the sake of time we will dig into three of them in this summary.

    1. Positive Mental Attitude – Mental attitude is important because it converts the brain into the equivalent of an electro-magnet which attracts the counterpart of one’s dominating thoughts, aims and purposes. It also attracts the counterpart of one’s fears, worries and doubts. This basically means that you will manifest in your life that which you focus on regardless if it is positive or negative.

    2. Sound Physical Health – This one is self-evident and should be number one. In my humble opinion, without health, you cannot create anything. Health is the ultimate gift because with it, everything else is possible. This can easily be taken for granted but once it is taken from you then life changes instantly. This needs to be a priority for everybody.

    3. The Capacity to Understand People: The person who truly understands people knows that we all come from the same core. The nine emotions common, according to the book are: love, sex, desire of material gain, self-preservation, freedom from body and mind, self-expression, desire for perpetuation of life and death, anger and fear. The capacity to understand others eliminates many of the common causes of friction among men.

    The Master-Key is a combination of 17 principles when used in combination will allow you to achieve the 12 Riches of Life.

    The Master-Key consists of:

    1) Habit of going the extra mile

    2) Definiteness of Purpose

    3) The Master mind

    4) Applied Faith

    5) Pleasing Personality

    6) Habit of learning from defeat

    7) Creative Vision

    8) Personal Initiative

    9) Accurate Thinking

    10) Self-Discipline

    11) Concentration of Endeavor

    12) Co-operation

    13) Enthusiasm

    14) The Habit of Health

    15) Budgeting Time and Money

    16) Golden Rule Applied 17) Cosmic habit force.

    For the sake of time we will profile three of the seventeen.

    1. Definiteness of Purpose – Highly successful people have a defined purpose. Mother Teresa dedicated her life in helping the poor of Calcutta and through her definite purpose became world renowned and helped millions of people.

    2. The Master Mind – is a group of people that have expertise that can be leveraged toward your defined purpose. Leveraging the combined OPE (Other People’s expertise) gives a compound effect to the desired result.

    3. Habit going the Extra Mile – I like this one because the 12 Riches of Life can NOT be attained without hard, smart and right work. You have to do the thing to have the power!!!! Notice this is the HABIT of going the extra mile. Ingrain this in your mind and you will not be disappointed with the results.

    I hope you have found this short summary useful. The key to any new idea is to work it into your daily routine until it becomes habit.

    Habits form in as little as 21 days. I highly recommend you read this book and put the principles in place. To take one thing away from the summary and make it habit will be the “Habit of Going the Extra Mile”. Put this front and center and it will help you in everything you do.

    According to Mr. Hill, Going the extra mile by doing more than one is paid for – “It is the strange influence which it has on the person who does it. The greatest benefit from this habit does not come to those to whom the service is rendered. It comes to the one who renders the service, in the form of a changed “mental attitude,” which gives him more influence with other people, more self-reliance, greater initiative, more enthusiasm, more vision and definiteness of purpose. Do the thing and you shall have the power!!!!

    [ad_2]

    Source by Joe Mosed

    Views: 0

  • True Love Needs to Be Tested Before it Can Claim to Be True Love

    [ad_1]

    Showing True Love:

    Love is not a mere emotion. Instead, true love requires an action that can demonstrate that love. Affection is an emotion that is only one ingredient of love, but emotions fly back and forth with situations and hormones.

    I recently watched a movie where a guy was broken up from his girlfriend and came into his apartment to find a supermodel taking a shower in his bathroom. His physical cravings ragged with desire for physical pleasure and the temptation was strong because his girlfriend had already broke things off with him anyway. He truly loved his ex-girlfriend and fled from the sexual temptation he was experiencing and immediately called his ex-girlfriend on the phone in order to refocus his attention back toward faithfulness. One of his first statements to her on the phone was, “I didn’t realize how much I love you until just a couple minutes ago.”

    It Takes Follow Through:

    After the phone call was over the supermodel continued to seduce the guy, but because of his situation he was unable to leave. Her continuous physical advances only intensified for several scenes until eventually he was able to change the situation. In most movies the guy eventually gives in and falls to the temptations that pursue him. In the end he apologizes and is accepted again by the one he claims to have real love for.

    I am infuriated by the lie that is spread through scenes where someone gives in to sexual temptation and then claims to have true love. The reality is that the one who forgave the sinner and accepted the sinner back is the one who is demonstrating true love.

    I was very excited to find a scene that emphasized true love through a demonstration of faithfulness. The most powerful part of his faithfulness is expressed in the fact that the one he truly loved was not showing love back to him.

    True love does not happen at first sight. Love does not become true until it is tested and only then does the heat impart into that love strength like tempered steel.

    What is Testing?

    There is a very important message to learn here that I hope you pay close attention to. The test of true love is NOT a test to see whether or not your love for someone is true. The test is a step of the process that takes mere affection and makes the love become true.

    Many people will experience affection and then later lose the emotions and say, “oh well, I guess I was wrong and the love wasn’t true like I thought it was.” Then they give up and move on to the next “true love” and eventually fail again and keep trying on new relationships for size. With this strategy you will never find true love because true love is only found on the other side of faithful follow-through.

    If your heart desires true love then you must wait until the affection of your first relationship is gone and then force yourself to remain faithful even if it takes your whole life. Then your love will eventually be tempered into true love that will fill you with satisfaction that is millions of times more awesome than all the other weak loves put together.

    Trust me, It’s worth it!

    [ad_2]

    Source by David Josh Burns

    Views: 0

  • The Importance of Excellent Customer Service

    [ad_1]

    Having excellent customer service is vital for the success of any business. The level of satisfaction of a customer reflects the services he or she received, which also stands for the grade of the business.

    A disenchanted customer does not necessarily mean the business or the services received are a failure. The business may not have done something to make their customers fume at them, but something related to the business or service made that person mad.

    So to make things easier for businesses, companies are willing to extend a helping hand by teaching excellent customer service. They have personnel who can teach your organization how to be the best in all of their tasks.

    A happy customer will always come back to your organization, which helps a lot in promoting your line of business to others. People often look for good treatment over good service.

    Some people want their emotions in check, which businesses should consider highly since customers deserve to get their money’s worth. According to online website Forbes, “Words alone are very powerful and they a big influence what your employees and customers think. If you don’t set both of these groups’ expectations up front, your company will never be able to excel in customer service”.

    Encouraging feedback within your organization is also a good call to make because not only do you foster openness, you also make others believe that you are there for their best interests. The article added that mistakes should be admitted. “Once you admit it, the customer will be happier”.

    Following what the customer wants and needs while looking out for what’s best for your company ensures success on different levels. For one, excellent customer service is just beyond the horizon. It seems so hard to pull off but in reality, all you need to do is call experts for the job.

    Even big corporations need someone to teach them the ropes in handling people. That’s why experts are invited to give talks to even big bosses who may need a refresher. Since times change, the wants and needs of customers have also changed.

    Have someone teach you people handling. Having a good customer relationship is where all good things stem from. Whether it’s an online or offline business, with or without direct physical contact between client and service provider, experts can provide you with all the information in providing expert and excellent customer service.

    They know that times are changing pretty fast and can make sure that things will positively in place for you. The world is growing and so are their needs and wants. They have to be addressed so they have something to look forward to whenever they come back to avail a business’ services.

    The right step is always the next. No matter how complicated things may be, the customer is always right. To facilitate them more, to be tagged as an organization that practices excellent customer service all the time, the proper organization should be hired for the job.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Rhonadale Florentino

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Says He’s Miserable With Me and Isn’t Sure He Wants to Be Married – Insights to Help

    [ad_1]

    Over the weekend, I received some correspondence from a wife who had noticed her husband acting cold and distant all weekend. He seemed to be picking fights, was clearly on edge and was showing body language and postures which indicated that something was very wrong. Of course, the wife asked him what was bothering him and he proceeded to answer with phrases like “nothing,” or “it’s just a bad day.”

    The wife was not happy with these responses and continued to press. The husband proceeded to withdrawal and act defensive. Finally, after the wife continued to follow him around and nag him, he angrily blurted out “can’t you see I’m miserable with you? If it weren’t for the kids, I’m not sure if I’d even want to be married to you.” The wife later regretted her response (which was to tell the husband that being married to him was no picnic either.)

    Later when they both calmed down, she asked him if he really meant what he said. The husband took a deep breath and said “I really don’t want to hurt you, but yes, I’m just not happy. I don’t know if it’s healthy for either of us to remain married.” The wife wanted my advice as to how she should proceed or act around him as he was clearly determined to sulk and complain. I will tell you what I told her in the following article.

    Determining What Responsibility A Wife Has In Her Husband’s Misery: The wife admitted that things weren’t perfect in her marriage. In fact, she had felt a distance growing in her marriage for some time. However, she would have never guessed that her husband was as miserable as he said he was. She suspected that he was projecting some disappointment and misery in other areas of his life and from his work onto their marriage.

    She may well have been right. This is actually quite a common occurrence. Much of the misery that he was feeling may not have initiated with her, but what was more important than it’s origin was the fact that he was equating his negative feelings with her and with the marriage. This may well be very unfair and even quite inaccurate. But, like it or not, this was her reality today and even she admitted that the marriage could use some improvement.

    So, while much of this may not have been her fault, there were certainly areas that she could address and improve. In a marriage that is working well, the spouse who is having issues with his job, his life, or his family will typically find solace and comfort in his spouse – rather than blaming her for the problem. The fact that he was doing just that indicated that there was a lot of room for improvement.

    So while the responsibility for the husband’s misery very likely did not lie totally with the wife, there was some opportunity to provide support and to let him know that she was there for him, willing to listen, and willing to help him in any way that she could – which is probably exactly what she would want for him to do if the roles were reversed.

    Beginning To Make Improvements In Your Marriage When You Husband Wants To Remain Alone In Being Miserable: When I explained some of these things with the wife, she was a bit resistant. She said that he was moping around so much that he might trip on his bottom lip. Granted, it can be hard to approach someone like this. But, she had pretty much been either ignoring him or trying to convince him either that he wasn’t as miserable as he thought, or that, if he was, this was his fault and not hers.

    Although this strategy is understandable, it’s not usually the most effective. The first step would be to calmly bring this out into the open and say your peace in a positive way that doesn’t continue to encourage or elicit his negative emotions. She might start by saying something like “I’m very sorry that you’re so unhappy right now. I love you and want for you to be happy. If there’s anything that I can do to help with this, I’m more than willing to do that. I can listen. I can offer support. I can make some shifts and changes if that’s what you need, but I can’t read your mind. Are you willing to talk about this so that we can come up with a plan to make this better?”

    I had no way to predict how the husband was going to react. I can tell you from previous experiences that some husbands will continue on with the negative act and say things like “it’s too late,” or “there’s nothing that you can do now.” Some men, though will begin to meet you half way even in the beginning. No matter what reaction you get, it’s very important that you respond in a positive manner. If they lash out, reply that you’re sorry to hear that and again offer your support. Eventually as you remain calm, supportive, and positive, it will become harder and harder to remain negative when you refuse to engage them.

    If they do tell you some things that might help, by all means meet them half way and do what you can to make things better. Although not all of this is your fault, it will only benefit both you and your marriage if you can lighten the tension, begin to identify and work on the issues, and to be the spouse that you would want your husband to be to you if the roles were reversed. If you can do this, it’s highly likely that all of the “ending the marriage” talk will begin to eventually lessen also.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • Finding Emotional Intelligence in Negative Emotions – Positive Purpose in Sadness Anger and Fear

    [ad_1]

    Emotional Intelligence is severely undervalued. When you feel stuck, frustrated, stressed, upset, or overwhelmed, skillful emotional awareness is the key to moving forward. Underneath your upset is a specific emotion that can guide you. The key, then, is to understand the messages in your feelings and become skillful in using their energy appropriately.

    Even so-called “negative emotions,” such as sadness, anger, and fear, convey important information and energy to carry out specific actions that can help you and others. Emotions arise with a purpose and when this purpose is fulfilled the feeling subsides. Unfortunately, as a society, we have not learned to understand and sufficiently value emotional energy and information, so we tend to deal with these feelings crudely.

    For example, with an emotion like anger, you might express it explosively or shove it under the surface, because you do not want to act angrily. Either you express your feelings reactively or cease feeling altogether.

    Emotional Intelligence expert, Karla McLaren, describes a healthy third alternative. She says you can facilitate the healthy flow of emotions by consciously “channeling” the information and energy that emotions provide. In other words, emotions contain meaningful messages along with energy to do something related to those messages. This is true for so-called “negative” emotions as well as “positive” ones.

    For example, McLaren suggests that:

    • ANGER arises when you, or someone or something you love, is threatened and you need to take protective action or set a firm boundary.

    • SADNESS arises when you need to let go of what no longer serves you or what is past, so you can move forward.

    • FEAR arises to prompt you to take preventative action.

    • JOY prompts you toward expansive, expressive, creative action.

    • COMPASSION prompts you to care for others.

    So, every emotion has a MESSAGE and ENERGY to carry out a specific type of action. Tuning into your emotions helps you to receive these messages and take these actions.

    Let’s explore the first three of these emotions in more depth. Sadness, anger, and fear are often misunderstood and handled poorly. We tend to repress them, stay stuck in them, or express them unskillfully, with negative consequences.

    So, as you work with these emotions, it’s important to do so Mindfully. Approach them as a curious observer with an attitude of paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment. Know that emotions are simply information about yourself, others, and events, along with energy to do something about this information. They do not define who you are and they will pass as you gather their information and take appropriate action.

    (Note: If you feel overwhelmed or paralyzed by feelings to the point where you are unable to consciously process them yourself, seek the assistance of a counseling professional who is trained to work with intense emotions.)

    The Positive Purpose of Sadness

    The purpose of sadness is to enable you to let go of what is no longer working or what is past and finished. Sadness is a watery downward-flowing energy that enables you to release what no longer serves you, so you can return to fluidity and flexibility in your life.

    By allowing appropriate sadness to flow through you, you’ll make space for new energy and new possibilities. If you do not consciously acknowledge sadness or don’t know how to flow with it, you’ll bury it inside, where it will perpetually cycle, or you’ll get lost in the feeling and be overwhelmed.

    Here’s a practice adapted from Karla McLaren’s book, “The Language of Emotions,” that can help you consciously process feelings of sadness.

    1. When you feel sadness flood into you, take some quiet, private time to center into the feeling. Tune into the sensation of sadness, locate where it resides in your body, and approach it with curiosity to learn what it has to tell you.

    2. Take a deep in-breath as if you are filling your whole body with your breath. As you exhale, make a sighing sound, and feel the energy of your sadness flowing like water down through your body, through your legs and feet, and down into the ground.

    3. Stay centered in your inner space and ask your sadness the question: “What needs to be released or let go right now?” Don’t rush to fill in an answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside.

    Repeat your sighing breath down through your body as many times as you feel the need and keep your question open for your deeper knowing to respond. You may find you know right away what you need to release or you may find it becomes clear later. Either way, tuning into sadness (or any emotion) mindfully initiates a process of discovery and integration that will help you move forward.

    The Positive Purpose of Anger

    Anger arises to create and preserve personal boundaries and safeguard personal space. You feel angry when a personal boundary or the boundary of someone or something you care for is disrupted or violated. When you are able to identify the source of the perceived threat and use the energy available in anger to strengthen your personal space and take appropriate action, anger will recede. It will have accomplished its purpose.

    Here’s a practice adapted from McLaren to gather the information and use the energy in your anger:

    1. When you feel anger rising, focus inside your body and become more in-touch with the felt sensation. Approach the feeling with curiosity to learn more about it.

    2. Take a deep in-breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel as if the energy in your anger travels outward into a sphere about an arms-width around you, your personal boundary, strengthening it with a brilliant color. Do this until you feel a shift in your energy, so you are witnessing, feeling, and working with the energy in your anger without being consumed by it.

    3. Ask your anger this question: “What needs to be protected or restored?”

    4. Then ask, “What action will restore healthy boundaries and protect what is important?”

    These questions help you identify what feels threatened, so you can take appropriate action. Try this when anger arises and see how it works for you.

    The Positive Purpose of Fear

    We’ve been told “Fear is what holds us back” and “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” If we can just overcome our fears, we’ll be able to live full-out and realize our hopes and dreams. But, what if this perennial wisdom regarding fear is missing something? What if fear in its essential form is one of our wise guides?

    Emotions have three primary forms: unconscious reactive expression, a repressed cycling state, and a healthy free-flowing state. It may be that we are only familiar with the first two forms of fear: a reactive expression that makes us cower and a repressed state which creates constant low-level anxiety.

    Fear in its healthy free-flowing form is something altogether different. What if fear can signal intuitive awareness of something that needs attention? What if it can alert you to important action?

    This form of fear is a sixth sense that reaches out through your personal space to pick up signals about what is happening inside you, with others, and in your environment. Fear can alert you to what is happening in your own body. It can alert you to the actions and intentions of the people around you and to conditions in the environment. When you learn to discern this information, it can help you can choose wise actions.

    To learn to use fear as a wise guide, try this simple practice:

    1. When you feel fear arising, take a quiet, private moment to center into the feeling. Tune into the sensation of fear, locate where it resides in your body, and approach it with curiosity to learn what it has to tell you.

    2. Take a deep in-breath as if you are filling your whole body with your breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel that your breath fills the sphere of your personal space about an arm’s width around your entire body. Sense into your personal space and into the wider space around you and search for subtle signals. For example, you might be drawn to an area inside your body or to look at something or someone in your environment. You might feel the urge to move toward or away from something.

    3. Stay centered in your personal space and ask your fear the question: “What action needs to be taken right now?” Don’t rush to fill in an answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside. See what presents itself. You may have an inspiration to take a specific action.

    It can take time to learn to discern guiding signals. As best as you can, be patient. The simple action of tuning into emotional signals is a cultivated skill. You’ll grow your ability to sense inner guidance from fear and all your emotions through mindful practice over time.

    You’ll also learn to discern the quality of signals that represent accurate present guidance from false interpretations based on painful past experiences. There’s a different felt quality to accurate versus false guidance. False guidance may feel alarming, stressful, or rushed. It is fixated on what happened in the past or overly-anxious about the future. Accurate emotional guidance has a matter-of-fact, present, forward-moving quality, that feels like perfect timing.

    So, in summary, as emotions come up, instead of being wary of them, what if you welcome them, become curious, and ask:

    • What is the sensation of this emotion in my body?

    • Exactly what emotion is this?

    • What is the message in this feeling?

    • What is it asking me to do?

    [ad_2]

    Source by Kevin Schoeninger

    Views: 0