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  • Created To Bond – Changes That Heal – Part I

    Created To Bond – Changes That Heal – Part I

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    Since God is a relational being and we were created in His image, we too are relational. We were created as relational beings and it does not matter who we are or what we may possess materially, we still need an emotional connection to other human beings. When we are outside of relationship, we lack the very essence that makes us who we are as a person. One of the most pervasive truths is that close connection with others is fundamental to our existence.

    It has been said that no man is an island. Every person on the earth is related to someone else through family, associations, employment, religion and a myriad of other ways. At our very core we are relational beings and must be connected in some ay to others. In order to survive we draw on the resources of others for things that we do not have within ourselves nor can provide for ourselves without the assistance of someone else.

    If we are to prosper and grow, we need to be connected to God and to one another. This connection fuels our transformation and causes us to blossom and bear fruit. Many times we find ourselves in a state of barrenness because we think that we can survive without other people. It is evidenced in some of our verbal expressions such as, “I can do it on my own; I don’t need you; I don’t need nobody.”

    As this attitude of emotional and spiritual isolation continues serious problems arise because with relationships to others we cannot be ourselves. This lack of relationship and bonding brings about alienation and a sense of emptiness that leads to pain, depression and hatred. Often times we remain in this state not understanding that it is the lack of relationship that is causing the pain and we are not willing to renew relationships in order to alleviate that pain.

    This unwillingness leads to our tying to hold ourselves together not knowing that in order to do so we need the support of those whom we refuse to connect with. Therefore, we find that we remain alone and our world becomes increasingly chaotic. Truly, no man is an island for even an island must be in relationship even if it is with what is not like it (the ocean) otherwise it could not be what it is.

    Developing And Renewing Relationships

    We are born in a state of non-conformity. We move from a warm, safe environment to a harsh and cold one. Often the first thing we feel is pain as the doctor or nurse whacks us on the behind. We are now in a position where we have to depend on fallible people to care for us. Yet, as we grow, time and the relationship that develops with others, specially our mother, help us to begin the bonding process. Many people believe that as children, we automatically love our mother. They have not come to the understanding that the emotional bond between a mother and child is one that develops through the love, closeness and care that the mother provides for the child. As time passes, the child internalizes his mother’s care and comfort that gives him a greater sense of security. It fills his memory storehouse with thousands of loving memories from which to draw in times of loneliness and grief. These memories are also an encouragement to him during his passage through hard times in his life because they leave an indelible impression on him as to his worth. This impression is a means for him to have a sense of being emotionally secure in who he is even though he may be alone. It also helps him to connect with others.

    All sorts of emotional, psychological, and neurological processes begin in a child based on the child’s emotional bond with its mother. As the child develops and is nurtured he develops a sense of security and belonging. This is the mechanism that propels the child out into the world to establish other friendships and helps him to bond as he begins to feel as apart of the group.

    In time, this confidence that emerges from being a part of something bigger than themselves leads to a desire to separate from their home and enter into the adult world where emotional attachment can be formed to fuel and support them for the rest of their lives.

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    Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

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  • What Do Wives Do To Get Their Separated Husbands To Come Home?

    What Do Wives Do To Get Their Separated Husbands To Come Home?

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    I sometimes hear from wives who want to know “the secret” that separated wives use to get their husbands to come home. I often hear comments like: “what do those women do to get their separated husbands to willingly come home? They must be doing something that I’m not doing. Because in my mind, I have tried everything but my husband isn’t even remotely interested in returning home.” I heard from a wife who said: “my husband and I separated about the same time as our neighbors separated. My female neighbor and I would often have dinner together and discuss strategies. Well, her husband came home last weekend ready to work things out and mine is still living away from me and is showing no signs that he might return. What did she do that I didn’t? Because when I ask her this, she says she can’t pinpoint anything that she said or did. She said that her husband just seemed ready to come home. What is she doing that I’m not? I need to know how all of these wives get their husbands to come home so that I can do the same things because I miss him and need him here.”

    I could completely understand this wife needing answers. I was separated myself a few years ago and I was absolutely desperate for any answers. I was willing to try absolutely anything to get my husband to come home. And sometimes, I feel as if that were part of the problem. While I was grappling for answers, my desperation got the better of me and I jumped around trying different things and changing behaviors, which eventually just made things worse.

    I think that sometimes, the husband is just ready to come home or he just comes to his own realizations. But I think that other times, there are things that some wives are able to do to nudge their husband to come home a little sooner. Through research, I learned some of these methods which really helped me and I will share some of them with you now.

    Some Wives Plant The Idea That Their Husband Has Something Meaningful To Come Home To: This is common sense, but it is so often missed. In order for your husband to come home, he will often need to believe that his quality of life with you at home is going to be much better than his quality of life without you away. Sometimes, this isn’t very difficult because your husband is having bad experiences or feelings while he is away. But other times, this can be a little more difficult because, even if the husband isn’t completely happy away, he is able to avoid the conflict and the drama of life at home when the future of his marriage is uncertain.

    Coming home sometimes leaves him with an unknown. And since he can’t see into the future, he will often rely on past behavior. If the past leaves you a lot to overcome, then you will have to rebuild the trust and allow him to see how or why things might change when or if he comes home. He must believe that things are going to be better at home not just for the short term or the long term. Sometimes, this takes time and requires you to carefully lay the groundwork.

    You’ll want to be patient, understanding, and easy to approach and talk to. If the two of you argue when you are together (or even argue about his coming home,) then he will understandably have doubts about moving forward and coming home. After all, if you can’t get along now, what is going to change once he comes home?

    Separated Wives Who Nudge Their Husbands Home Will Often Cultivate A Playful New Dynamic Between Them: Many wives whose husbands are eventually lured back will admit that they were able to put their fear aside, at least while their husband was present. They were able to keep things light hearted and positive, even if they didn’t always feel this way deep inside. They did this because they knew that when things went well with their husband, then he was more willing to see or interact with them in the future. They also knew that keeping things light and playful would help to neutralize what was already a stressful situation. They suspected that focusing on fear and uncertainty was only going to make things worse.

    I know first hand that this is sometimes challenging to pull off. Sometimes, you feel anything but upbeat, and you really have to look at the big picture so that you don’t just give into your negative feelings and make things worse. But in the end, it is worth it. As I improved my attitude, our relationship improved. And my husband was more willing to spend time with me. And as he was more willing to spend time with me, I made each encounter count so that things continued to get better and better.

    Successful Wives Don’t Try To Rush Or Push Their Husbands To Come Home Before He’s Truly Ready: Here’s one last important point. When things are going well, it’s extremely easy to be quite tempted to suggest that your husband comes home the second that your situation improves. Sometimes, this is a mistake. It’s often better if you can wait for him to suggest that he is ready to come home. At the very least, make sure that he is enthusiastic and willing before you suggest it. Because, if you suggest it to soon, he may well think that your light hearted and easy going attitude was only meant to get him home. He may worry that once he gives in and comes home, you’re going to drop the act. And this is the last thing you want. You want for him to not only believe that things are going to change and improve, you want that to be the truth so that your marriage not only reconciles, it lasts for the long haul and it makes you both happy.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Book Advocates Natural Healing for Man's Best Friend

    Book Advocates Natural Healing for Man's Best Friend

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    Healing Your Dog Naturally is a revolutionary new book by Nicole Gabriel that will make you rethink how you care for your dog. It will teach you how to be proactive about your canine's healthcare and by extension rethink your own eating and medicinal habits. Consequently, you can kill two birds with one stone, or in this case, heal your dog and yourself, or better yet, prevent the need to heal from arising.

    While Gabriel's background is not in veterinary medicine, she has plenty of experiencing caring for sick dogs and loving them. This is a woman who deeply bonds with her pets and wants the very best for them. After she lost one of her Shar Pei dogs to an illness she believes was caused by a required vaccination in order for her to move to Hawaii, she decided to begin researching vaccinations and everything else about caring for one's dog. Now she has compiled all that research along with her personal experiences and successes into this new book, which may long be overdue considering the health and natural foods revolution going on for humans. I have to agree with Gabriel on this point: If we are all becoming more health and nutrition conscious about our own bodies, shouldn't we extend that same care and concern to our pets?
    Gabriel walks the reader through a plethora of topics and information on everything from diet and nutrition to allergies, vaccinations, using essential oils, spaying and neutering, homeopathy, and even how to align your dog's chakras.

    But before I go further, this book isn't just a book about how to heal your dog and make him healthier. It's also a book that encourages you to change your own lifestyle so that both you and your dog benefit.

    For example, Gabriel is not a fan of commercial dog food. She provides a brief history of dog food and how it was affected by World War II, why it is taurine-deficient, and why that matters. She makes a great point in saying that if we would not eat the dog food ourselves, why would we feed it to our dogs? Ultimately, she advocates that you cook dinner for your dog just like you would for your spouse, children, or yourself. She even offers several recipes to provide your dog with a nutritious diet. Okay, I know many people might think this is radical-cooking dinner for your dog-but if you want your pet to be healthy, it is a decision worth considering. You can even do it while making dinner for yourself. As Gabriel states, "When you wake up to nutrition, you begin to question everything. This is not a journey that is just for your dogs. Have you gotten that yet? We are all doing this together. This is a pack effort. you choose for you, you choose for your dog and vice versa. "

    The rest of the book may be viewed as equally radical or perhaps just applying common sense. Gabriel comes down hard on vaccinations, not because they are not well-intended but because she has seen her own pet die as the result of one. She walks readers through what may be harmful about certain vaccines and how to reverse possible issues is you've already had your dog vaccinated and it is causing health issues. She also offers advice on spaying and neutering-another "don't do it" chapter you'll have to read for yourself.

    But not everything in these pages is focused on overturning common canine care practices. If anything, this book is written with a lot of love. There are adorable cartoons of dogs throughout reminding us of how much we love our best friends. Gabriel goes into detail about all the wonderful experiences she's had with her pets and why they matter so much to her. She is not afraid of discussing the most sensitive issues, including how to deal with loss of your pet and your grief. She provides simple and natural remedies for everything from dealing with cut footpads to ingenious ways to offer nutritious treats to your pets, and even ways to test your dog for various allergies and make changes to his diet accordingly.

    Most importantly, Gabriel challenges us to see our pets with new eyes and to think more deeply about what we do in our care for them. I can't say whether she is right on every subject, but I do know her heart is in the right place and she provides a great deal of food for thought. I imagine people who read this book will have already gone or be going through a traumatic or heart-wrenching experience with a pet, so they will be looking for answers beyond what their local veterinarian may be able to provide. If so, this book is an excellent place to start. I truly believe Healing Your Dog Naturally will open many eyes, and hopefully, it will lead to a revolution in canine healthcare.

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    Source by Tyler Tichelaar

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