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  • Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?

    Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?

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    Your mindset, your thoughts, can buoy you up, inspiring you to take courageous action, or they can drag you down, keeping you up at night with worry and paralyzing you with fear. Even though our brains are wired to dwell on the negative, on past mistakes, how we think in this moment is something we can control.

    Changing our minds in the present moment can be hard work! I know from experience that when things aren’t going well, one of the toughest things to do is to turn your mind from impending doom to what is possible and what can be done.

    The good news is that the more you practice these mindset boosters, the easier they become. They do, in fact, become habits that kick in when you need them the most.

    The even better news is that the more you practice them, the more impact both you and your company will have. Staying on track and not allowing yourself to be pulled down will save you a lot of time and energy. The time and energy you free up can be spent on your company’s financial performance and having impact.

    S0 let’s look at ways you can do a mindset reset and the practices that will support you in doing so:

    The Future Doesn’t Just Happen – You Shape It Every Day

    Have you ever seen or read about people in the direst of circumstances who are transcendent, happy? And others who seem to have everything, and yet feel deprived? The way you choose to think about a situation, the parts of yourself that you call on, even dig deep for, are what determine your present and your future. Your thinking is integral to your character.

    When things look negative, question it. There’s always a way to think about a situation that includes a gift, an opportunity. This may seem contrived at first, but think about situations where you’ve suddenly had a shift in perspective and a solution appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. That’s the effect you want to be able to call on.

    “Circumstance does not make the person,

    it reveals the person to himself or herself.”

    ~James Allen

    People become leaders of successful, impactful companies by becoming the people who can lead those companies first. They walk with integrity. They make smart decisions. They step up and into opportunity with courage. They acknowledge their fears, but don’t indulge them. They learn and grow.

    You are becoming the leader of your high impact company right now, in how you show up every day. Treating people with respect. Listening to ideas. Choosing how you use your time and energy. Making decisions with your mind AND your heart.

    You can shape your future by consciously developing the mindset of the leader who leads your company in these ways.

    Doubling down on mission is one way to ensure that your company moves more in the direction of your impact. New Belgium Brewing became a benefit corporation in 2018, ingraining its commitment to internal and community impact in its legal framework, and is now the fourth-largest craft brewery in the US.

    Fear and Getting Through the Storm

    We all have fears. Fears about how the company will do financially this year, about that crucial new hire who looks promising but is unproven, or about how your new offering will fare in a busy market. Fears can abound, especially if nurtured and given attention.

    “The future you constantly worry about

    Is nothing other than a projection of fear and desire from the past.”

    ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    Fears can instead be a tool, an indicator. They can lead you to research, to ask good questions, and to explore options. As long as you don’t allow fears to take over the present, they can actually be valuable.

    One way to be vigilant about fears is with mindfulness. Mindfulness, that focus on the present, is more than a business fad. It’s a practice that decreases stress and increases productivity.

    The leaders of outdoor apparel maker Patagonia are committed to using their successful company as a vehicle to put mindfulness into action. Patagonia founder Yves Chouinard describes navigating what could be a terrifying Class 4 rapid as a teaching:

    • look ahead and prepare

      • be proactive
      • don’t ignore what is coming
      • think through scenarios
      • do what is necessary to get ready to the best of your ability
      • trust that you can handle whatever happens


    • go into a drop

      • take calculated risks
      • once you decide, follow through wholeheartedly


    • read the river

      • be vigilant
      • be perceptive
      • adjust as needed.

    That intuitive process has helped guide his business for the last 50 years. Chouinard believes that if the process isn’t sound, if your intentions don’t come from the right place, the outcome, even if profitable, doesn’t matter.

    Practicing wisdom by making decisions from a place of love rather than fear can open the door to creative solutions. When Patagonia’s CEO Casey Sheahan was faced with laying off 150 employees during the financial crisis, shortly after he took over from Chouinard, he was torn up about the decision. His wife asked him, “Are you making this decision from a place of fear, or from a place of love?” When he realized that it was fear driving the layoff decision, he found another way, leading to unheard-of sales levels after a few rocky quarters.

    Fear can be a driver of decisions and actions, but they don’t have to be. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book, Big Magic, tells the story of treating her fears like an inevitable passenger on a road trip. Fears can and will be there, but they can Never. Ever. Drive.

    Focus on Your Impact

    Do you find your Impact Purpose, a clear statement of the impact you want to have, inspiring? Does it fill you with energy? If it doesn’t, at least most of the time, you might be on the wrong track. Your clarity about the impact you want to have, whether it’s social or environmental or both, can serve as the rock on which you build your impactful business.

    When you steadily focus on your Impact Purpose, you’ll find your thoughts turning from short-term pain to what you could achieve in your business and community. This thinking about others, and not just yourself, is a way to bring you out of the doldrums or away from unhelpful divergent thinking, and back into focus on your impact.

    Reinforce this by having your Impact Purpose statement in front of you, every day. Have it on your desk or screen. In your wallet. On your fridge. Wherever you will be regularly reminded of what you intend, personally and with your company.

    Plan your day and week with your Impact Purpose in mind. Include it in your decisions about how time, money, and resources will be spent, and with whom. Thoughts aligned with purpose are a powerful creative force. Fill your attention with something worthwhile.

    The greatest achievement was at one time a dream. Stay with your dream. It’ll be part of your becoming.

    You Are the Company You Keep

    You may have heard the notion that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. That speaks to the influence that those around you have on your thinking and therefore on your actions.

    Some companies who are committed to having impact take this to a highly conscious level. Design firm LimeRed, led by Emily Lonigro Boylan, only works with individuals or organizations that have social impact. LimeRed only engages with clients whose values they share, who are kind and innovative, and who are also accountable to their stakeholders and communities.

    You as a business leader can also take this to another level by incorporating it into decisions about who you include on your team, your suppliers, and your partners. Do you vet who you work with every day through this lens? Do you extend this to your advisors, your pet projects, and your friends?

    You’re more likely to have impact when you devote all your energy and resources toward people and companies that also want to have impact in harmony with yours.

    Your mindset matters to your own fulfillment and well-being. It matters to your company, as you engage with your community and the larger world. Optimize your opportunity to have impact by doing this mindset reset.

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    Source by Ursula Jorch

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  • My Husband Says He’s Going To Leave Me, And Yet He’s Still In Our Home – Why?

    My Husband Says He’s Going To Leave Me, And Yet He’s Still In Our Home – Why?

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    Often, when a husband announces that he is going to leave, a wife expects him to promptly pack his bags and begin the separation. It’s not that this is what the wife wants to happen. But when someone makes an announcement that is this serious, well, the assumption is that no one would want to drag their feet on this, as once the decision has been made, it’s probably easier to just go ahead and move out.

    However, this isn’t what always happens. Some husbands make this announcement and then they don’t really move out right away. Some are still telling their wives that they are leaving even as they continue to park themselves on the couch and make use of the refrigerator. A wife might say: “I truly don’t get it. Three weeks ago, my husband came home and announced that he is going to leave me. He said that our marriage hasn’t been good for a while now and that he thinks that we should take a break and live apart to see what happens. This isn’t what I want. In my heart, I feel like if he leaves, he might never come back and we might end up divorced. He actually told me that he wanted to leave on a Friday night. I expected him to move out that weekend. Why wait? If you’re going to take the initiative to tell your wife that you are going to leave her, I would think that you would want to leave as soon as possible. That isn’t the case, though. It’s three weeks later and he’s still in our house. He’s still complaining. He’s still saying he’s going to leave and yet he is still here. I’m afraid to ask him why he’s still here because I am afraid that he would take that to mean that I wanted him out. My mom says that he is essentially free loading or that he’s too lazy to find a new place, but that doesn’t make sense, as my husband earns more than I do. Why do men say that they want to leave their wives and then stay at home?”

    I can only speculate, because there are a variety of reasons. I will list some of them below so that you can see if any of them might ring true.

    He May Not Want To Actually Leave And Was Just Trying To Get A Reaction: Sometimes, a husband truly is frustrated with the marriage or the situation, but he doesn’t know how to create change. He may have tried to make a change without success or he’s afraid that you will be resistant or defensive. So he puts the “leaving” out there in the hopes that you will try to stop him or that you will then be open to negotiating change.

    He May Be Trying To Move Out At The Right Time Or In The Right Way: Some husbands do take their time in actually moving out. Many aren’t all that excited about moving from their familiar and comfortable home into a smaller apartment. Others will try to leave their wife in a good place before they physically move out. What I mean by that is that some will complete repairs and necessary maintenance before they leave so that their wife doesn’t have to worry about this.

    He May Be Having Second Thoughts: This is the final suggestion that I will make. We all say things or make decisions out of frustration, only to have second thoughts later. Actually moving out of your home and pursuing a marital separation is a huge step. And it would be completely normal for him to reconsider and then to hesitate to admit this. It’s possible that he’s hoping that this will just blow over or that you will ask him not to leave.

    Deciding Where To Go From Here: Since you can’t know which of the above is true (unless he tells you,) then you have to ask yourself what really matters the most. If you want to save your marriage, then I think you have focus on the fact that at least he’s still there – whatever the reason. It’s so much easier to save your marriage when your husband is physically present. When he moves out, it can be difficult to reconnect and to not have repeated misunderstandings since communication is limited and not always face-to-face. Yes, I know that it is frustrating that he’s sending mixed signals and that this is confusing. But I think that it is better to focus on the fact that he is there rather than questioning him and then potentially forcing him out. If you can use this time to improve things so that he doesn’t follow through and leave, then that’s probably the best option.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • The Many Wives of Eliot Ness

    The Many Wives of Eliot Ness

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    Eliot Ness is most often known the character portrayed in The Untouchables, both on television and film. In both depictions, Ness is seen being somewhat of a family man with a wife. The television series starring Robert Stack brings out a more accurate depiction as it gets the name of his wife correct and gives him a son. The Brian DePalma film changes the names of his wife and gives him two fictional biological children.

    The prohibition agent who is credited with bringing down Al Capone is depicted in fiction literature as well. In Nemesis, he is seen going through a divorce, although the driving force of the story is his failed search for the Cleveland Torso murderer. In Chasing Eliot Ness, he is also seen going through a divorce from his first wife, Edna and at the end of the book, has remarried.

    Eliot Ness was married three times. Edna, Evaline and Elizabeth. He never had any biological children, although he and his third wife adopted a three year old son, Robert. He has no living descendants as his son died before having any children of his own. None of the women he married had biological children.

    According to his biography, Edna was his college sweetheart and first wife. She left Eliot Ness in 1938 and moved back to Chicago. At this time, Ness had a high profile job in Cleveland. This is depicted in both Nemesis and Chasing Eliot Ness.

    The second wife was Evaline, an artist. Like the prohibition agent, she liked the night life and did not seem to want to settle down with kids. Ness never owned a house, he always rented and traveled frequently. This marriage was of short duration and ended tumultuously, although neither party discussed what exactly caused the split.

    In television series, the Robert Stack character refers to his wife as Betty, although she is never seen on camera. This depiction is more accurate of the real life Eliot Ness character as he is rarely seen at home and his wife or family never comes between his zest for solving crimes. Although the television series is highly fictionalized when it comes to his crime solving, it is pretty accurate when it comes to his marriage.

    The reason for the confusion is due to the fact that Ness never told Fraley about his two previous marriages. Fraley did not know the crime stopper was married twice before when he wrote The Untouchables, which is pretty much just as much a work of fiction as Chasing Eliot Ness with regard to the personal life of this man.

    His wives are all long dead. None of them got into details about their personal life with the man who is credited with bringing down Al Capone. But according to books written on the subject, both fictional such as Chasing Eliot Ness and of a biographical nature, such as The Real Story Of Eliot Ness, all of the wives did have one complaint about him which might explain as to why he went through two divorces at a time when one was shocking.

    He was simply never home.

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    Source by Michelle Anne Williams

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