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What Is an Emotional Catalyst?

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Tell me that I am not the only person this has happened to. Your spouse or roommate or BF says “l am going to lose some weight” and suddenly you find yourself being hijacked into a diet, “No alcohol from here on out until we lose our weight!” (Our weight? Did you just call me fat?) We are going to work out 5 days a week (we are?) Pilates, Zumba, Yoga, Cardio, Free weights, Circuit training “No, No Sam you have to do 3 sets of 16 reps” (I do? Didn’t you just start working out like 2 days ago and now you’re a trainer?) So what just happened here?: A total lifestyle change that you were never intending to start. (OK well I was intending to start someday, but in my time frame, not because someone else had an emotional catalyst… see below)

So, somehow you get manipulated to join in, maybe you want to add support to the instigators, maybe they are right! You are Fat! I mean isn’t that what they just said? When they assumed you would be joining in on the whole “Diet thing” sure, sure… they are just concerned about YOU being Healthy that’s why suddenly everyday you hear “Did you go to the Gym today?” Um… No, I sat in the backyard with a pack of Marlborough Reds, a Box of wine and some ho ho’s (wishful thinking)

Low and Behold I have been to the gym more than usual (not difficult as usual was NEVER) and I will continue… but the truth is.. Being Manipulated to do something as big as Change your lifestyle because your friend or spouse has had a catalyst to change (Emotional catalyst do the trick of causing big Change almost every time) doesn’t set you up for success, your just along for the ride until you excuse your way out, truth hurts! OK my truth hurts. I love using humor to grow, educate or coach – but this would be a waste if you weren’t provided with a little lesson right?

A catalyst – Easiest definition in this case is ” A person or thing that causes a change http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/catalyst

Not really a fan of the dictionary version so to understand it better here are some personal and professional examples: http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/152/next-strategy-passion-provokes-action.html

Let me share this with you, when you do get a catalyst to change, you need to act on it immediately or it fades… until you get another emotional catalyst. If you decide you want to change something in your life, here is a simple 5 minute step in the right direction: Visualize not only what it will look like, but how it will FEEL once it is changed.

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Source by Samantha Buckley Hugessen

Views: 0

December 29, 2019
Christian Marriage Help: Five Causes of Weak Marital Boundaries

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Are you looking for Christian marriage help to enable you to have stronger boundaries? If you have difficulty setting boundaries in your marriage you are probably tolerating more than you should and allowing yourself to be disrespected. Boundaries are simply what you will and won’t do and when communicated to your husband give him feedback on how you want to be treated. Here are five causes of weak marital boundaries:

You don’t trust your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. If you don’t trust your thoughts, feelings and perceptions, you will doubt your convictions and decisions. You won’t be able to trust that what you want and need in your marriage is valid and worth taking a stand for. In order to stand in your truth, you have to know your truth (Ephesians 6:14).

You would rather give in than have conflict. If you run from conflict, boundaries will be hard for you. If you feel like you should keep the peace at all costs, then taking any type of stand in your marriage that will mean an argument will be very hard for you. Romans 12:18 says you should do whatever you can to keep the peace, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up your beliefs or that you can’t speak your truth.

You think being a good Christian wife means submitting to your husband in everything. If you believe that God wants you to submit to everything your husband asks, then you will believe that you cannot have boundaries that say no to treatment you don’t want. Submission is part of a balanced partnership where the husband loves his wife and considers her needs as important as his own (Ephesians 5:22-33). You can say no to anything that doesn’t feel right or healthy and you are entitled to have boundaries.

You are waiting for God to change your husband. If you are waiting for God to change your husband, then you are abrogating your responsibility to take stewardship of your own life. God doesn’t force people to change and he expects you to take responsibility for your own life. If you allow your husband to mistreat you, then you will be enabling him to sin.

You know your husband won’t respect your boundaries anyway. When you know that something is unacceptable to you and you also know that your husband won’t do what you need him to do, it is harder to set your boundary because you are already figuring out if you have the strength to follow through with whatever consequence or action will be needed.

Boundaries simply say what you are willing to do and not do. Each partner in a marriage has the right to say no. If you have weak boundaries, you have to understand the reasons why they are weak before you can begin to develop strong boundaries.

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Source by Karla Downing

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December 28, 2019
Can You Really Make A Living From Affiliate Marketing?

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Affiliate marketing is a business model which lets anyone benefit financially by using other people’s products on the internet. It’s a kind of referral based marketing in which affiliates are rewarded for sending website traffic to various products and services online.

Amazon is probably the best known website for selling products on the internet. They have a program which allows anyone to refer customers to them, for a commission on the sales.

Anyone can become an affiliate marketer. However, the truth is that affiliate marketing is no quick fix. It does work yes, but depending on which direction you choose to set sail with your affiliate marketing business, you can be very disappointed, as I was, many times!

But, if you stick with it, and find a path which both works you and your working style, the rewards can be fantastic. It’s taken me a while to get to the point of the light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m definitely sold on affiliate marketing now!

Before I found a community and direction which I could trust in and believe in, I jumped from one strategy to another. Having a mentor helped immensely because not knowing whether what you’re doing will work is incredibly difficult.

A lot of what I did when I started simply got me nowhere. I build various websites and my initial tactic was to get my content ranked on Google. This is incredibly difficult, even if your content is unique and offers huge value. You need to keep plugging away and sharing your content. You simply can’t rely on Google to rank your content to get it seen.

Then I faced an AdWords account shut down shortly after one of my biggest breakthroughs. This hit me hard and I gave up for a while. What kept me going was the idea of affiliate marketing which I never let go of. My ‘why’ was that affiliate marketing was a way out of low paid work and grumpy bosses! It also offered a potential income which far outweighed what I could possibly earn by trading my time for money.

Granted, I wasn’t earning anything for a number of years. But it was the thought of escaping my difficult circumstances which kept me going.

I eventually discovered subscription products which paid ongoing commissions for previous sales. When I noticed that the subscriptions were coming in, month after month, my eyes really lit up! It wasn’t a huge amount at first, just a few $20 commissions which were steadily coming in regardless of the sales I made that month.

Over time this adds up. Combined with high commission affiliate programs which offer up-sells and in-house sales teams who close sales for you, I thought I had finally found the holy grail of affiliate marketing success!

I wouldn’t say my affiliate business is a “living” just yet. But I’m now confident that I’m on the right path and taking the right action steps towards that as a real possibility. That for me was the goal; to find my way. For years I struggled for a number of reasons. Scepticism keeps you from making decisions. I got burned with a number of systems and spend months on building content and websites which got me nowhere.

Even in the business community I now belong to, I was full of scepticism at first. It was very difficult for me to take the necessary steps to get myself into the position I am now in. Lack of money is usually a reason which people have when they come to learn about affiliate marketing. This is a double edged sword. All the years I had no money, I couldn’t afford the more costly business ideas. I only focused on the cheaper ones. It cost me dearly in the time that I wasted.

It’s still no piece of cake building a profitable internet business. Even with a good strategy, a mentor and a community behind you. People will still drop out. But if you keep going, your chances of success are far greater! It took me a long time because I focused on content generation to build my income up. If you can, I would definitely recommend using paid marketing over content generation, but only with the right products.

With high ticket items, subscription products, up-sells and a built in sales team, your return on investment is far greater than with many of the affiliate products you’ll be told to sell.

This was something I didn’t understand at first. I tried to sell digital and physical products without thinking about how much I would actually earn; selling books off Amazon for pennies worth of commission!

Getting the right knowledge from the start is a massive bonus. Without it, you can work really hard in the wrong direction for a number of years, as I did. It’s hard to reconcile affiliate marketing as a legitimate business model if you’ve failed at it for years. But then, giving up after all the work I had put in was worse still!

I’m glad I continued to the point I actually started seeing some results. It’s a place I wanted to be for a long time, and one which I held myself back from because I continued to hang on to my comfort zones while seeking new outcomes.

One of these comfort zones was holding on to the idea of what I wanted to do on a daily basis. I wanted to keep doing what I had always done – blogging! Here I am writing more content. It fitted with my comfort zones but didn’t achieve the result I wanted fast enough. Eventually I started using more paid marketing strategies and this gave me a much faster result. However, it was only after reassessing that my blogging wasn’t getting me anywhere and taking some uncomfortable action steps.

I’ve noticed many affiliates make much faster progress than me by taking the necessary steps I was too fearful to take. Once I started doing what they did, results came much faster. You can make a great living with affiliate marketing. Just don’t expect it to fall in line with your comfortable parameters. Sometimes to get to somewhere where you’ve never been, you need to do things you’ve never done!

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Source by Tim Halloran

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December 27, 2019
The Success Avoidance Syndrom

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Life is full of ironies and paradoxes. One of the most amazing of these is the human tendency to cry for and cling to those things that hurt them. As one notable poet put it, “people run for their chains.” Is it not amazing that people generally dislike prisons, and yet it is a known fact that many former prisoners would rather be in prison than out of it? How many people out there are clinging to and crying for relationships, and yet they fully know that those same relationships are dysfunctional and leading nowhere?

How many companies, individuals and nations are tenaciously holding onto solutions that have passed their sale by date? How many people desire to lose weight and to be in good health, and yet daily crave for and indulge in those behaviors that negate this aim? My proposition is that there are many. Perhaps the most debilitating human condition is the success avoidance syndrome. Put simply, people have this tendency to want and wish for success, and yet simultaneously unwittingly avoid the things that make for success. They desire success but hasten their feet towards failure. Below is a synopsis of the traits of the success avoiding individual.

o Risk Avoidance.

Many people want to succeed in life but they are averse to risk. However, the very nature of success is that the greater the risk involved the greater the rewards. Every opportunity carries within it a certain amount of risk. To try is to risk failing; to propose is to risk being turned down; to love is to risk heartbreak; to advance is to risk repulsion and resistance; to lead is to risk criticism and being cartooned; to express yourself is to risk appearing a fool; to seek profits is to risk making losses; to put your views to the public (like I am doing now) is to risk being ridiculed; to trust people is to risk being disappointed; to be yourself is to risk being rejected; to be a copycat is to court frustration; to write an exam is to risk failure and disappointment; to communicate is to risk being misunderstood, to buy something is to risk dissatisfaction and dissonance; to get an insurance policy is to risk paying for a service that may never become necessary.

It is true that risk is often uncomfortable. However, the alternative which is failure, frustration and underachievement is even worse. Not only is the alternative very discomfiting, but it is also painful. Any risk minimization strategy is therefore actually a success reduction mechanism. A faint heart never wins a fair lady, and there is no crown for the coward. It is that simple. The winners know that the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. After all to be alive is to risk dying some day and we will all die, so what is the big deal?

Before we leave the subject of risk it is important to underline that there is a big difference between taking risks and taking gambles. To gamble is to put oneself at the mercy of fate and chance. With gambling one has no influence over the outcome at all and a good example is lottery. However, when one takes risk one does not become a prisoner of fate but remains a participator in a process in which the success is not guaranteed, but the chances thereof can be influenced by one’s own decisions and actions. There is no self determination with gambling, but the risk taker retains some control.

o Failure Avoidance

The person obsessed with avoiding failure learns to do nothing. It is only that person that never does anything, that never makes mistakes. In truth there is no effort without shortcomings. However, action is a progenitor of success and it follows logically that the person who never engages in meaningful and serious action by this very act of omission avoids success. Activity, of course is not to be confused with progress, but there can never be progress without activity. Failure avoidance is success avoidance. Period.

Failure avoidance is a learnt habit. Research indicates that families, companies and environments replete with criticism, cynicism, pessimism, threats of punishment and motivation by fear are a good breeding ground for failure avoiders. To the contrary affirmation, recognition, acknowledgement, praise, reward and encouragement constitute the diet of the success pursuers. Creativity and innovation cannot co-habit with fear of failure and punishment.

The failure avoiders are regulated by their fear of failure, but the winners are inspired by their dreams. In most cases the failure avoiders keep fresh the memories of their past failures, catastrophes, fiascos and heartbreaks. Their minds are filled with imaginations of pain and failure and negative outcomes. They always fear and expect the worst. They think in terms of and look for limits, but the winner thinks in terms of and looks for opportunities.

The loser is therefore always running away from limits, while the winner is running towards opportunity. The winner recognizes that limits and opportunities are one and the same thing. The difference lies in the eye of the beholder and how he chooses to interpret what he sees. The failure avoider sees the challenges as stumbling blocks to be avoided but the winner sees them as stepping stones to be embraced and utilized. In truth every challenge brings with it an opportunity to grow, but it is easy to miss this opportunity if one sees it as a burden, problem or disappointment.

What have you been avoiding all your life and of late? What have you been hesitating to do? Is it a conversation, telephone call or important decision? Whatever it is, take time to reflect on whether your avoidance does not constitute success avoidance. To be continued, expect some more.

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Source by George Chingarande

Views: 0

December 27, 2019
Being Successful In Life Today With A Millionaire's Mindset Means Reprogramming The Subconscious

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Are you on the right track to achieve success? Stop for a while, take a look at the map, see the directions, consult somebody or look for assistance.

After that start your journey towards the ways to be successful with full self-confidence.

I mean do so without the tiniest doubt of being derailed.

Their tracks are entirely different from each other leading to various destinations; the location of success and the location of failure.

Either one can learn the best ways to be successful or take an incorrect track doom and gloom, but the best secret to achieve success is to keep oneself on the ideal path.

A very sharp, clear and bright picture of where you are heading is great motivation for an enthusiastic individual to remain vigilant and keep himself focused on the right path versus all odds and obstacles.

It's true that absolutely nothing can be achieved without effort, however, effort alone can not guarantee you to achieve success.

The world is full of poorly paid unskilled workers who are working hard, but not getting enough benefit.

Striving without planning is similar to taking an elevator from the middle of a multi-story structure without knowing which floor you really need to get off at.

It can take you to the leading floor or ground you in the basement.

The majority of people are not able to set goals and goals simply due to the fact that they have no future vision, no huge dreams and no specific success strategies.

These poor, miserable people have no choice, but to follow the crowd aimlessly.

The unfortunate part of the story is that the crowd is growing larger day-by-hopeless-day without having anyone to lead them to the ideal path to achieve success.

Enjoying the Success Process

Previously I discussed how many were having fun, for example, trading penny stocks and that as a hobby were finding success.

When we can put some enjoyment into what we're chasing after being successful seems to be a result.

Due to the fact that many can not commit themselves fully to the job they are appointed to, these directionless people are lost and don't know for sure what they want.

No surprise, these people are frequently fired by their companies, remain mostly unemployed, survive on social welfare and other public assistance and charities, broke in the end and ultimately buried under heavy debt.

One must distinguish between right-minded and wrong-minded ; either achieve success or settle for failure.

The Course in Miracles states, "You are the mirror of truth, in which God Himself shines in perfect light. To the ego's dark glass you say but need, 'I will not look there because I know these images are not true'."

Bringing Passion and Purpose to the Scene

Because we are not allowing the light of our passion and purpose to be in charge, far too often we as humans are filled with uncertainty of the dark.

You just need to keep inspired and keep on moving to the destination you set for yourself when you are on the path of certainty.

The desperate and dark travels through life many take are entirely different from each other leading to different destinations; to achieve success or the destination of mediocrity.

Either one can be on the ideal track to achieve success, or on the path where wealth creation is never accepted into the mind.

The millionaire secrets will help to keep you OFF the wrong-minded track, where you can never find ways to be successful in life, no matter how much effort one puts in.

Effort needs to be invested in keeping yourself inspired and continually reprogramming the subconscious when you are on the right-minded track with a millionaire mindset.

(I like to suggest searching the net for more helpful material on, answering what makes someone successful, wealth creation, and uncovering the secret for financial freedom now.)

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Source by James Nussbaumer

Views: 0

October 12, 2019
My Wife Never Says She Loves Me – Does This Mean That My Marriage Is About to Be Over?

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Are you stuck in a marriage, scratching your head in wonderment, saying my wife never says she loves me?

If you’re in this position and you’re worried about your marriage going downhill fast, then you really need to pay special attention right now.

This could mean trouble…

Should I Panic If My Wife never Says She Loves Me

Now here’s the thing. This could mean terrible trouble for your marriage, but it could also be absolutely nothing. You may be panicking and your wife just isn’t the type of person who goes around say I love you all the time.

That does happen.

However it still means that there’s a lot of room for improvement and it also tells me that your wife doesn’t adore you. You’re not the man that makes her swoon anymore. That’s especially apparent if she USED TO say I love you all the time, and now she’s stopped.

So you’ve got some work to do either way. You can turn this around.

Now here’s the thing that must happen first. You must accept responsibility, and take some of the blame that YOU haven’t the things that you could be doing that make a woman…and yes even a wife,..melt when she sees you.

Most men mistakenly think that this is something that automatically goes away just because you’ve been married for a while. Nothing could be further from the truth. Just think, you’ve had all this time with your wife, so she should be completely and totally obsessed with you at this point if you think about it.

But don’t worry, because you probably didn’t even realize this was possible. And you’re not alone. I too thought this was the norm. I was happy just to get along with my wife, until I realize that I could make her love me more, become nearly obsessed with me, and well…be completely attracted to me. And you know what that means!

Here’s what it takes. It takes being the man that your wife truly wants. It means being the type of man that makes women obsessed with them. We’ve all seen them. And usually us guys make the mistake of thinking it’s because of looks, or money, or material things.

Not even close to true, and I’m sure you can think of example to prove that. I’m sure you can think of those guys who always have women swooning over them and you sit there and think…why? How the heck is the guy doing it?

The Secret to Making Your Wife Swoon

Here’s the secret right here in this article, that could absolutely change your married life forever.

The thing is that your wife must be attracted to you before she can get those fuzzy feelings of obsession for you. And the type of man that she is attracted to, down to her core…down to her DNA…is an alpha man who is (or at least seems to be) in charge.

A leader is what your wife is looking for. Of course it’s so buried down deep in her DNA that she really doesn’t even get this. She thinks that all of these things that society makes her believe is what she wants, but the proof always shows up when a man starts acting like the alpha male that she really wants. It’s an amazing transformation, and you’ll quickly stop even worrying about having to say my wife never says she loves me because she’ll be showing it in more ways than one.

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Source by Jason T. Nelson

Views: 0

October 11, 2019
Should Marriage Coaching Or Family Therapy Be An Option For Your Marital Problems?

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In an article released by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, customers of marriage and family counselors from over a dozen states reported on their experience with family therapy.

The findings suggested that marriage and relationship counselors treated a large range of concerns in relatively short-term fashion. It said that couples therapy and marriage coaching are briefer than specific treatment, which customer satisfaction and practical improvement are rather high.

Particularly, of customers from over 500 marriage and relationship counselors in over a dozen states:

– Over 95% rated services outstanding or great

– Over 90% would recommend their therapist to a buddy

– Over 90% would go back to the very same therapist in the future

– Over 90% stated they were assisted in dealing more effectively with problems

– Over 90% were generally pleased with the service they got

– Over 95% got the kind of assistance they wanted

– Almost 75% indicated enhancement in children's behavior

– Just under 65% reported enhanced physical health

– Over 95% were pleased with the amount of assistance they got

– Just under 55% reported improvement in operating at work

– Almost 60% revealed enhancement in kid's school efficiency

[NOTE] Excerpted from "Clinical Practice Patterns of Marriage and Family Therapists: A National Survey of Therapists and Their Clients", Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

While the above research study supplies raw information that supports the efficiency of marital relationship and household counseling, a very interesting conversation on the question, "Does Marriage Counseling Work" from a public forum devoted to this subject offers a less medical, but still positive view .

I found that what seems to be an extremely sincere and frank conversation among couples, "who've been there," the response to the question of whether marriage counseling works is a favorable one.

Will Marital Therapy Work for You?

Regardless of the studies and viewpoints which seem to support the question of, 'Does couples therapy work,' there are those who question its effectiveness.

Previously I had a discussion on 'what's going on today with males and how the men actually feel about close relationships and what turns the men on about women.'

This got the subject going on the science of marital therapy is being studied in excellent detail these days. Research is showing that it is not as reliable as individuals believe that ladies seem to get more from it than men.

Surely there are times when it may not have a long-lasting result on the couple's marital relationship.

What type of couple gets the most from couples therapy? The response is young, non-sexist, still in love, open couples.

Which couples get the least after finding what seems to the best marriage advice?

Some factors that can make couples therapy not successful consist of couples who wait too long before seeking assistance. I mean that typically one or the other is set on getting a divorce and is closed to any suggestions that may save the marriage.

It appears that couples who seek relationship healing or marriage coaching due to the fact that they want their relationship to work are more likely to prosper with marriage therapy.

Many Do Benefit

Yes, they will benefit more than those who enter into couples counseling with the (maybe hidden) reality that they really more deeply want out of the relationship.

Again as the Course in Miracles further states, "It is still up to you to choose with truth or with illusion. Remember that to choose one is to let the other go."

When thinking about best marriage advice, it's hard not to wonder whether seeing a marital relationship counselor will actually work.

An honest marriage psychologist would agree that the inspiration of a couple might be the single most crucial aspect in identifying the success of marital therapy.

It's not likely that even a fantastic counselor would be able to conserve a marital relationship where one spouse really doesn't want to put in the effort for relationship healing.

The best marriage advice you find from a marriage therapist can most likely help a couple who are utterly devoted to making their marital relationship work.

(I like to often suggest seeking out the web for more helpful material on things like should you separate or divorce now instead of trying to fix a broken a marriage or love relationship?)

To success in healing and finding happiness!

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Source by James Nussbaumer

Views: 0

October 10, 2019
Using Sex Toys With a Bent Penis

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More and more men (and couples) are incorporating sex toys into their sex play, and with good reason: sex toys can be fun and can add a new layer into someone’s sex life, especially if it has become a trifle routine. Some men, of course, are resistant to using sex toys, for a variety of reasons – worries that using sex toys makes them less of a “real man,” for example (which is far from the truth) or that there could be penis health issues from their use (generally not a problem if used properly). And many men with a bent penis assume that their excess curvature makes using sex toys unfeasible – but that is simply not the case.

What kind of bent penis?

It pays to define terms, especially one like “bent penis.” The fact is that, while many men have a perfectly straight penis when erect, many others sport an erection that offers some curvature. For some, there’s a graceful swoop up or a slight leaning to the left or right, or a small inclination downward. This can make the manhood even more aesthetically pleasing to some women, and as long as the curvature is not extreme or causes pain, then such a condition is not a problem.

However, sometimes a man has a penis so bent that it does create issues. If the curvature is such that it impedes penetration or causes pain during sex – or even when simply in an erect state – then a man is usually diagnosed as having Peyronie’s disease.

In Peyronie’s disease, the bent penis is typically the result of a build-up of scar tissue in the penis, often over a long period of time. This usually is the result of trauma to the penis. It can be a large trauma, such as being hit in the penis by a line-drive baseball. But it also can be the result of many episodes of small trauma, such as the penis being handling extremely roughly during partner sex and/or masturbation.

Sex toys

Because an extremely bent penis may make penetration difficult or impossible, many men assume that sex toys are off limits. In fact, many sex toys are still very much an option for a man with a bent penis.

For example, penis rings can still be used, especially if he has found that maintaining erections is challenging. These rings constrict blood flow out of an erect penis, often enabling a man to stay firm for a longer period of time.

In addition, penis extenders or sleeves may be a benefit to him and his partner. These are typically hollowed out silicone items in a phallic shape which fit over the penis. Some men find that these straighten out their bend somewhat (while they wear them at least) so that they can more successfully engage in penetration.

In addition, Peyronie’s sometimes causes a loss of sensation in the penis, making ejaculation and orgasm more challenging. Using sex toys such as anal plugs, prostate massagers or dildos in the anus can stimulate the prostate, which often helps bring about ejaculation and orgasm in many men.

As always, men should be certain to follow the directions when utilizing sex toys and to consult with a doctor if there is any reason why sex toys might pose an issue for an individual man.

Whether they have a bent penis or not, men will enjoy sex toys even more if they keep the penis in good shape, which can be aided by regular use of an excellent penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin). Be sure that the selected crème is going to deliver a sufficient range of vitamins – especially vitamins A, B5, C, D and E. And the chosen crème should also include L-carnitine, an amino acid with neuroprotective properties which helps maintain proper penis sensitivity.

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Source by John Dugan

Views: 0

October 8, 2019
What Do Wives Do To Get Their Separated Husbands To Come Home?

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I sometimes hear from wives who want to know “the secret” that separated wives use to get their husbands to come home. I often hear comments like: “what do those women do to get their separated husbands to willingly come home? They must be doing something that I’m not doing. Because in my mind, I have tried everything but my husband isn’t even remotely interested in returning home.” I heard from a wife who said: “my husband and I separated about the same time as our neighbors separated. My female neighbor and I would often have dinner together and discuss strategies. Well, her husband came home last weekend ready to work things out and mine is still living away from me and is showing no signs that he might return. What did she do that I didn’t? Because when I ask her this, she says she can’t pinpoint anything that she said or did. She said that her husband just seemed ready to come home. What is she doing that I’m not? I need to know how all of these wives get their husbands to come home so that I can do the same things because I miss him and need him here.”

I could completely understand this wife needing answers. I was separated myself a few years ago and I was absolutely desperate for any answers. I was willing to try absolutely anything to get my husband to come home. And sometimes, I feel as if that were part of the problem. While I was grappling for answers, my desperation got the better of me and I jumped around trying different things and changing behaviors, which eventually just made things worse.

I think that sometimes, the husband is just ready to come home or he just comes to his own realizations. But I think that other times, there are things that some wives are able to do to nudge their husband to come home a little sooner. Through research, I learned some of these methods which really helped me and I will share some of them with you now.

Some Wives Plant The Idea That Their Husband Has Something Meaningful To Come Home To: This is common sense, but it is so often missed. In order for your husband to come home, he will often need to believe that his quality of life with you at home is going to be much better than his quality of life without you away. Sometimes, this isn’t very difficult because your husband is having bad experiences or feelings while he is away. But other times, this can be a little more difficult because, even if the husband isn’t completely happy away, he is able to avoid the conflict and the drama of life at home when the future of his marriage is uncertain.

Coming home sometimes leaves him with an unknown. And since he can’t see into the future, he will often rely on past behavior. If the past leaves you a lot to overcome, then you will have to rebuild the trust and allow him to see how or why things might change when or if he comes home. He must believe that things are going to be better at home not just for the short term or the long term. Sometimes, this takes time and requires you to carefully lay the groundwork.

You’ll want to be patient, understanding, and easy to approach and talk to. If the two of you argue when you are together (or even argue about his coming home,) then he will understandably have doubts about moving forward and coming home. After all, if you can’t get along now, what is going to change once he comes home?

Separated Wives Who Nudge Their Husbands Home Will Often Cultivate A Playful New Dynamic Between Them: Many wives whose husbands are eventually lured back will admit that they were able to put their fear aside, at least while their husband was present. They were able to keep things light hearted and positive, even if they didn’t always feel this way deep inside. They did this because they knew that when things went well with their husband, then he was more willing to see or interact with them in the future. They also knew that keeping things light and playful would help to neutralize what was already a stressful situation. They suspected that focusing on fear and uncertainty was only going to make things worse.

I know first hand that this is sometimes challenging to pull off. Sometimes, you feel anything but upbeat, and you really have to look at the big picture so that you don’t just give into your negative feelings and make things worse. But in the end, it is worth it. As I improved my attitude, our relationship improved. And my husband was more willing to spend time with me. And as he was more willing to spend time with me, I made each encounter count so that things continued to get better and better.

Successful Wives Don’t Try To Rush Or Push Their Husbands To Come Home Before He’s Truly Ready: Here’s one last important point. When things are going well, it’s extremely easy to be quite tempted to suggest that your husband comes home the second that your situation improves. Sometimes, this is a mistake. It’s often better if you can wait for him to suggest that he is ready to come home. At the very least, make sure that he is enthusiastic and willing before you suggest it. Because, if you suggest it to soon, he may well think that your light hearted and easy going attitude was only meant to get him home. He may worry that once he gives in and comes home, you’re going to drop the act. And this is the last thing you want. You want for him to not only believe that things are going to change and improve, you want that to be the truth so that your marriage not only reconciles, it lasts for the long haul and it makes you both happy.

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Source by Leslie Cane

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October 8, 2019
How To Make Your Rebellious Wife a Submissive Wife

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All too frequently in the regular or secular world exist the battle and the discussion about women who ought to submit to men. Do an Internet search on “rebellious wives” or “rebellious women” and you will find this is no small concern, nor is there a shortage of opinions. There are Rebellious Magazine For Women, Rebellious Thoughts of A Woman, videos of men chastising women to submit, etc. Christians carry a greater volume of the discussion since in books of the Bible like Ephesians, Colossians, and 1 Peter clearly says that “…submit yourselves to your own husbands” (NIV).

Even government and political issues have no protection from this culturally unsettling thought as presidential candidate Michele Bachman was asked if she is a “submissive wife” in an Iowa GOP debate.

Well, while we are in the mood of celebrating “Fathers Day” I want to bring an answer and the solution to men and likely fathers who are being shredded emotionally by this psychological think-tank we have created around this issue. Regardless of my position as an author, speaker, and more for family legacy issues, I deliver this more from a man and father who has a willingly submissive wife. Yet my wife is a mother, career woman, independently strong, and opinionated. However there is no conflict in her submission. Why, you ask?

The way to make rebellious wife a submissive wife is to:

1) Be a considerate husband – Have knowledgeable and intelligent understanding of your wife. Be a student of your wife at all levels of intimacy and not just pertaining to sexuality. Give her honor which is more from your ready preparation to endure the price of deep suffering for her. This is the same price that is meant by the readiness to die protecting your wife and children.

2) Acknowledge her as the weaker vessel – Remember that a vessel is very rarely ever interpreted as something abstract; rather there is always tangibility to the context of its use. As such the expression of weaker is clearly addressing a physical aspect of the woman or your wife, and not mental (intelligence), psychological, or emotional. Our society has abused this expression greatly.

3) Realize your equality with your wife – This speaks of yours and your wife’s level of importance. Between the two of you there is none favored; you are absolutely equals in the essence of your relationship. So does the Bible contradict itself by repeatedly stating “wives must submit”? No, the Bible’s call is strictly based on the roles we must play as a husband and wife.

4) Intercede on her behalf in purity – Your purity of heart, actions, and thoughts carry a great importance and is the determinant your consistency or inconsistency in attitude towards her. More importantly your purity is critical to your prayers for her and your children before God.

If you can authentically demonstrate, personify, and exemplify these four components within the nature of your relationship to your wife, I promise you a rebellious wife will fast become a submissive wife to and for you. The truth is your wife is design to be incapable of not submitting. In honesty, she does not have a problem submitting to a man. She simply has a problem submitting to you as a man. Sadly, you are the only one she is truly designed/created to submit to. The great news…it can be fixed.

By the way, here is the source of my wisdom:

1 Peter 3:7 (AMP)

In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an[c]intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]

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Source by Ezechiel Bambolo, Jr

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October 8, 2019