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TOP TEN Pound 4 Pound Best Boxer Ever

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Before we start our list, I wanted to take some time to comment on 2 fighters that may have strong support in certain communities for being among the best ever, but truly do not have a place on the list.

NOT RANKED

Rocky Marciano – Won 49 Lost 0, 43 KO

Ask any Italian who the greatest boxer ever was, and you will never hear the names Ali, Louis or Sugar. Nope. You will only hear the name Rocky Marciano, the only heavyweight champion to retire undefeated. To his credit, Rocky Marciano did make a habit of beating up his opponents in the ring. Add the fact that his most notable victory was over his childhood idle, Joe Louis, whom he sent back into retirement. But Joe was well past his prime. He also beat Archie Moore, but he also was already in his early forties. So to the entire nation of Italy and her children I say to you, Rocky Marciano could not beat any of the champions in my Top T.E.N.

Lennox Lewis – 41 wins, 2 losses, 1 draw, 32 KO

Lewis will most likely go down as one of the most intelligent, calculated champions ever. But that is not what pound for pound is based on. Lennox was able to capitalize on Tyson’s jail term to reign as champion, then got out before the Klitchko brothers could undo the legacy he has manufactured for himself. He stayed an extra 4 years as an amateur to win a gold metal against younger opponents (Riddick Bowe for the medal bout). He then became champion only because Bowe gave up the title. He backed out of Tyson’s way (accepting a huge multi-million dollar payoff from Don King as payment for Tyson taking his ranking) as he was climbing back up to regain the championship that was handed to him. I believe that history will judge him for the fake that he truly is.

And now, to the top ten best pound for pound boxers:

10 – Mike Tyson – 50 wins, 5 losses, 2 no contests, 44 KO

No other fighter has been called “the baddest man on the planet”. Mike Tyson was perhaps the most feared person in boxing history. Up until Buster Douglas embarrassed Iron Mike, Mike Tyson made fighters give up. Going up through the amateur ranks, boxers actually lost on purpose so as to not fight Tyson in tournaments. How ironic that Tyson’s worst defeat was not to a boxer, but to a beauty pageant contestant named Desiree Washington. There is a great chance that had Tyson not suffered a 3-year setback, he would have easily moved up and be universally recognized as one of the best ever.

9 – (Big) George Foreman – Won 76 lost 5, 68 KO

Foreman’s biggest enemy opponent has always been himself. He could not accept defeat. After making his name as one of the most dominant fighter ever, his loss to Ali took him out of professional boxing for over a year. He made his first comeback attempt in 1977, knocking out his next 5 opponents (including Frazier, again), only to retire after losing a 12 round decision. A decade later, Foreman made an improbable comeback at the age of 38. Foreman made it again near the top of the boxing rankings, and despite suffering setbacks against Holyfield and Tommy Morrison, Foreman shocked the world when he stunned Michael Moore with a knock out in the 10th round. His next few bouts further proved that even unto his late 40th, Foreman was still a formidable force.

8 – (Sugar) Ray Leonard – 36 Wins, 3 Loss, 1 Draw, 25 KO

Leonard has to be on this list if only for the pure psychology he was able to inflict on his opponents. Only Ali could get into his opponents head more. Add to that all the titles his has own, in multiple weight divisions, and you have your number 8 all time. Like most great fighters, he just did not know when to quit, so you will have to ignore the last few fights of his career. Sugar Ray beat them all, from Duran (No Mas, No Mas), to Hagler, then Hearns, Sugar Ray’s stock only dropped because of his own issues. He first retired due to a detached retina, and it can be argued that a serious cocaine habit between 84 and 89 further damaged his career.

7 – (Marvelous) Marvin Hagler – 62 Wins, 3 Losses, 2 Draws, 52 KO

Yes, we have the Marvelous one ahead of Leonard, even though Leonard beat Hagler in their one encounter. Hagler was so distraught by that loss that he left before, and even refuses to talk about that fight today. Hagler’s only 2 losses were early on in his career, and he responded to them by beating both fighters. He would have continued to dominate the middleweight division had he not suffered the mentally debilitating loss to Leonard. While Hopkins has been middleweight champion longer, with more title defenses, it can be argued that he never faced opponents the caliber of Duran and Hearns, both of whom Hagler defeated.

6 – Archie Moore – 181 wins, 24 losses, 9 draws and 1 no contest, 145 KO

Looking at the record, it is easy to see why the “Old Mongoose” or “Ancient Archie” has made it to the list. Archie’s career spanned over 4 decades, and it the only fighter to have faced by Rocky Marciano and Muhammed Ali. Archie was a better Light Heavyweight than he was a pure Heavyweight. He had his light heavyweight title stripped from him twice because he was too busy fighting at a higher weight class. No other fighter has knocked out as many professional opponents as Archie.

5 – Roy Jones Jr – 49 wins, 3 losses, 38 KO

This particular selection is highly debatable, and may end with Roy’s removal from the list completely. While there is no denying his talent, there is question as to if his showmanship and opponent section unfairly propelled him into his status. Winning a championship fight after playing paid basketball the same day was previously unheard of. As was becoming a champion at middleweight all the way up to heavyweight. Before his last two fights, Jones’ only defeat was a bogus call after he was disqualified against Montell Griffin, which he quickly avenged. Jones has at least warranted due considering, and an initial entry to the list.

4 – Joe (Brown Bomber) Louis – Won 68 Lost 3, 54 KO

While there seems to be some dispute over whether 5 of his victories by KO were exhibition matches or not, there is a consensus not take seriously 2 of his 3 losses in failed comeback attempts. The last, and most humiliating defeat was an 8th round KO through the ropes by Rocky Marciano. The Brown Bomber was so much in debt, that he tried to come back well past his prime. The fact that so much cultural identify was thrust upon his shoulders, made Joe Louis not only one of the greatest pure fighters, but a true icon for America’s 2nd class citizens. Joe will be best known for his 1st round KO over Germany’s Max Schmeling in 1938. Schmeling beat the favored Louis in 12 years only a few years earlier. Even when Joe won the Heavyweight title by knockout, he refused to be called champion until he settled the score with Schmeling. It is this attitude that made him a national hero despite his color.

3 – Julio Cesar Chavez – Won 104 Lost 5, 2 draws, 80 KO

Julio is a Mexican world champion boxer who won world titles in 3 different divisions. Among the world champions that Chávez defeated in his career are Edwin Rosario, Jose Luis Ramirez, Rocky Lockridge, Meldrick Taylor, Roger Mayweather, Sammy Fuentes, Héctor “Macho” Camacho, Juan Laporte, and Tony López. Chavez went 13 years before not winning a fight, with a draw to Pernell Whitaker, and it was another year later before he suffered his first defeat which was avenged 4 months later. Only in his last 8 years of his 24 year career did Chavez acount for 4 of his 5 losses to 3 different oppenents. He was able to avenge his lose to Willey Wise, but failed in second attempt to Oscar De La Hoya.

2 – Muhammed (Louisville Lip) Ali – won 56 Lost 5, 37 KO

In my book, Ali will also go down as one of the greatest human beings of all time. As purely a boxer, only a “what could have been” during his 3 year lay off after refusing to go to Vietnam prevents him from being the best ever. He came back after 3 years to lose his first of three asking Joe Frazier. Both were undefeated at the time. The same happened with Ken Norton. In both cases, Ali came back to whup them in the next 2 fights. Although the two became friends later on, Ali is also credited with knocking Foreman out in the ring, out of boxing, and onto the pulpit. Leon Spinks got Ali during his declining years, but Ali still come back to beat him in 1979. What happened to Ali in the next two fights against Holmes and Berbick is eerily similar to what is happening now with Roy Jones Jr. In neither case, should those 2 fights be included into what was an otherwise spectacular career.

1 – (Sugar) Ray Robinson 179 wins, 19 losses, 6 draws, 2 no contests, 109 KO

While many fighters have held that nickname over the years, none have been as sweet as Ray Robinson, whose real name was actually Walker Smith Jr. Robinson won the middleweight title an unprecedented 5 times. Even Muhammed Ali referred to Sugar Ray as the greatest fighter ever (it is rumoured that Robinson actually refused to give Ali an autograph when Ali met him while Ali was still young, and Clay). Unlike Moore, the majority of Robinson’s losses came at the end of his career.

Honorable Mention

Floyd Mayweather Jr – 32 Wins, 0 Losses, 21 Knockouts

Now regarded (arguably) as the best active pound for pound boxer

Roberto Duran – 103 Wins, 16 Loss, 69 Knockouts

He will forever by scarred by his 8th round quit job on Sugar Ray Leonard.

Evander (Real Deal) Holyfield – 38 Wins, 7 Losses, 2 Draw, 25 KO

Was undisputed cruiserweight and heavyweight champion of the world. He also was the man that destroyed the aura that was Mike Tyson. He will have his place in boxing history, but not as one of the greatest ever.

(Smokin’) Joe Frazier – 32 wins, 4 losses, 1 draw, 27 KO

Also one of the most feared fighters ever, but 2 losses to Ali and Foreman will keep him off this list.

Thomas Hearns – 59 wins 4 Loss 1 Draw, 46 KO

AKA “the Hit Man” and “the Motor City Cobra”, Hearns won seven world championships in six weight classes during his 22 year pro career. But losses to Leonard (his first ever) and Hagler will keep him off the list.

Bernard Hopkins – 45 wins, 2 losses, 1 draw, 1 NC, 32 KO

More so than Hagler, Hopkins had a slow start to his career. When he finally won the belt, he has defended against the best of the 90’s and 2000. He may end up considered in the 10 top yet.

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February 3, 2020
Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

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February 3, 2020
The 8 P’s of Success

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Every time I try to cook rice, I either end up having mini popcorns or my rice end up turning into a thick paste of porridge. Trust me, I have tried and you can say I haven’t succeeded yet. Success, according to Oxford dictionary, is achieving something that you have been trying to do or get. Though this is not exhaustive, here are the 8 P’s of Success.

1. Purpose

Find and have something worth living and dying for. Your purpose could be raising your children or making a difference in other people’s lives. When you find your purpose, life takes on a new and different meaning.

2. Passion

Sleep, walk, talk and see yourself achieving your vision and goals. Say you want to be a better parent or salesperson, the more you repeat and affirm this to yourself and those near you, the better off you are. Constant affirmations help to remind us of our goals.

3. Persistence

Don’t give up even when you don’t see results. Most of the time, results don’t appear in relation to the efforts you might be putting into achieving your desired goals. The good thing is; something is happening beneath the surface and you need to keep doing your best in order to see your desired results.

4. Practice

Keep working. We have all heard the saying, if at first you don’t succeed; keep trying, again and again. Constant practice helps teach us how to do it better. Make sure you keep going whether there are results or not.

5. Patience

Be patient with those who should (but don’t understand) your vision or goal. And above all, be patient with yourself. Often when people don’t affirm us or fail to recognize and appreciate our efforts, it isn’t cause we are failures. It could be because they don’t understand know how best to encourage or affirm us. Look at it this way. The fact that you are having an umbrella doesn’t stop the rain from falling from the skies! You should, in like manner keep going.

6. People

Have people around you, even those you cannot stand because they will help you to improve. Seek their opinion, listen and soldier on knowing that no man has succeeded in becoming an island. Read books, listen to audio tapes, ask questions and attend motivational speaking engagements.

7. Prayer

Involve God in everything you do by seeking His guidance, provision, wisdom and the grace to keep going on.

8. Plunge in

Launch into what you want to do and just get it done. Do not give procrastination a foothold in your life. Do not wait for the perfect and ideal situation, environment or time. Just go for it and give it your best. Remember, you don’t have to see it on your family tree to attempt it.

“The person you struggle with the most, has the most to teach you… about yourself.” – Shawne Duperon

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Source by James Odhiambo

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February 3, 2020
Giving a Great "Walk Around" Sales Presentation

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Salespeople should know that a walk around isn’t just a presentation, it is a chance to discover the customer’s needs and turn your product or services features into a benefit for that customer.

Learning good selling techniques takes practice and learning how to give a “walk around” sales presentation is essential to the sales process.

An excellent walk around presentation is not a canned presentation. It has been said, “A good walk around presentation doesn’t work because it’s canned; it got canned because it works.” That’s what a walk around should be – not canned, but planned. Salespeople need to know where they are going all the time. Hopefully they can help guide the customer down the Road to the Sale.

Before we can attempt a presentation we must understand what a “feature” is and what a “benefit” is. A feature is what something is – a benefit is what something does. Let’s use automobile sales as an example. So let’s look at some car sales techniques. A “walk around” occurs when a salesperson pulls a vehicle out of the line of cars in front of the dealership. The salesperson opens the doors, the trunk, and the hood. They turn on the car and get the A/C running in the summertime (or the heater in the winter time). They take the customer and tell them about the vehicle as they walk around it.

The aerodynamic styling of a vehicle is a feature; great gas mileage and a quiet ride are the resulting benefits. A lot of salespeople are good at reciting features, but not at explaining why the customer needs them – and this is for two reasons. One is they don’t know enough about the car and the other is they did a poor job qualifying the customer’s needs. Ask questions of your customer. Ask what they want from their next vehicle and listen to what is said.

How can a salesperson enthusiastically talk about the double steel cargo box if they don’t know what the customer is going to use the vehicle for? They can’t.

In a typical selling situation a salesperson might say something like, “Yes sir, this car has everything you’re looking for: a fuel efficient engine and a hands-free Bluetooth communications system. It also has ABS brakes, limited slip rear axle, and terrain management.” Sounds all well and good, right? Wrong. There is nothing your salesperson has told this customer that 1,500 other salespeople and brochures and Internet research haven’t already told him.

So the customer looks at the salesperson like a deer in the headlights. He doesn’t know what he is what he is supposed to say, except what he is probably thinking, “I can see all of these options, Mr. Salesperson. Tell me something I don’t know.” You see, when the salesperson recites his or her cornucopia of knowledge, it isn’t a question so it doesn’t really move the sale forward. He is just repeating what the customer told him he wanted.

The customer’s only response is, “Yes, Mr. Salesperson, I can see it has everything I asked for. How much is it?” Or worse yet, the customer may say nothing. The worst thing that can enter a walk around presentation is silence. When there is silence, there is pressure and in the selling process, we want no pressure. As I mentioned many times, the only common ground a customer has is the price. When you stop talking, the only thing they can say is how much… or goodbye.

To do an excellent walk around, salespeople need to remember the thing the customer wants to know more than anything, “What will it do for me?” Until you tell customer that answer, then he is probably isn’t listening.

Back to the walk around – how long did it take me to recite the options above, 30 seconds? What do I do now? I am out of things to say. Obviously there are lots of options and I could probably go on for a while, but even if I could memorize them all on every model, the customer will be yawning. Why? Because he wants to know what it will do for him. If salespeople are just going to recite options, they would be better off to hand the customer a brochure and send him on his way. The brochure is better than a salesperson will ever be at features. They break down the passenger compartment to cubic inches for heaven’s sake! When it comes right down to it, does the customer even care that there is 28 inches of legroom? No. But he will be interested to know that, “Because of the transverse mounted engine, Mr. Customer, when you and your family take that trip to Colorado this summer you can really stretch out your legs!” That is how you sell legroom. Note: Without asking good questions, how could you make the above statement? But here’s the good news: you can make that statement even more powerful in two ways – by moving the sale forward and by asking for the order.

There are many ways to move the sale forward, but here are a few. These are simple phrases that keep the customer following you:

“Let me show you this feature on your new Ford Explorer.”

“Let me show you this,”

“Let me show you one more thing,”

“Great, follow me.”

Ask for the order, it is quite simple, for example:

“That’s a feature I’m sure you’d like, isn’t it?” The customer says, “Yeah!” The salesperson says, “Great, follow me,” or “Great, now let me show you one more thing.”

The above question is one which you should already know the answer. Use it with a feature the customer wants, for example, seat belts, air bags, crumple zones, etc. A customer just won’t say no to seat belts.

During the sale you are always closing — in sales terminology that means you are always asking the customer for the order. For example, a very successful salesman in a 20-minute presentation will ask the customer in several different ways, in more than a dozen times if they want to buy the vehicle.

Some of the best closing techniques to use during a sale are called tie downs. Some call them trial closes. A tie down is simply a question at the end of a statement that demands a response. Instead of saying, “Those airbags are a wonderful feature.” In the eyes of a customer, this is just an opinion. But, if I added, “Aren’t they?” to the end of that statement, it forces the customer to respond, hopefully in a positive way.

Or, “On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest rating, how would you rate this vehicle so far? What would it take to make that number a 10?”

However, sometimes a customer may say something that implies that they don’t like the vehicle. For example, “Oh, that looks like something else that will break.”

One way to handle these “objections” is to address the issue with the “Feel, Felt, Found” response. For example, you might respond by saying, “I can see why you might feel that. A lot of people have felt the same way, but once you’ve found out the engineering behind, you’ll see how beneficial this can be for you.”

These few tips will build the foundation for a confident walk around presentation.

– Learn your product inside and out, research what’s being said about your product on the internet.

– Get to know your customer’s needs in the initial greeting and qualification.

– Present with confidence and tie the features back to their needs.

– Help make their needs become their wants.

– Remember to refer to competitive brands and create value.

– Take full advantage of your product expertise when doing a walk around presentation and SELL yourself and your product.

And remember, selling is a process of listening to customer needs, finding solutions to their needs, building value you in your product or service, and giving them an opportunity to buy that product or service that serves their needs!

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Source by Vincent Hennigan

Views: 0

February 2, 2020
The Success Mindset – The New Psychology of Success

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“It is not always the people who start out the smartest who end up the smartest.” Alfred Binet.

Your success quotient is made up of skills, knowledge and attitude with attitude accounting for 85%. Carol S. Dweck’s book, Mindset The New Psychology for Success, supports how important attitude is, but adds an additional premise that you have to be open to learning rather than closed to learning. According to Dweck, the world is divided between people who do and don’t have an open mindset. Those who do have an open mindset succeed, often outperform and lead happier lives as compared to those with exceptional skills and knowledge but who have a closed mindset.

Strong differences in people’s backgrounds, experiences, education and training have all been used as a way to explain why some of us achieve success and many of us fall short. According to Dweck, mindsets frame the running account taking place in people’s heads. They guide how you interpret things. The fixed mindset tends to judge failure as a loss and re-enforces its view of failure with internal monologues such as: “this means I am a loser,” or “this means I am not as good as they are.” It also tends to support shutting down, not trying again or giving up. Growth mindset people on the other hand are also monitoring negative situations and have internal dialogue with themselves, but they interpret failure as a challenge and a learning experience. They know that they can obtain both positive and negative learning from failure experiences. They tend to look at failure as constructive and an opportunity for learning and growth. They ask questions like: “what can I learn from this,” or “how can I improve?”

Dweck suggests that there are four key steps to shifting your closed mindset to being more open. It is also important to note that many of us have both mindsets and they come into play in different situations. So when facing a future challenge or setback or criticism, you might decide that your fixed talents or abilities are lacking. Alternatively, you can try a growth mindset approach that suggests you need to ramp up your efforts, stretch yourself and possibly train and enhance your skills and abilities.

Here are some suggested steps:

1. Learn to identify and hear your fixed mindset voice.

Look at situations and ask yourself about your judgments and your response to the situation. Are you saying things like: “It’s not too late to back out, make excuses,” or “it’s not my fault?”

2. Recognize that you do have a choice.

Interpreting situations as bad or challenging or a setback can often be shifted to viewing them as a learning experience and a stepping stone to success. The choice is really up to you.

3. Talk back to yourself with a growth mindset voice.

A fixed mindset voice can say things like “are you sure you can do this; maybe you don’t have the talent.” On the other hand, a growth mindset voice might say: “I may not be able to do this right now but I can learn it with time and help.”

4. Take a growth mindset action step.

Since it is up to you, what you say and hear is up to you. Learn from your setbacks and try again. Take on challenges and when you hear criticism, act on it. This is not always easy but practice, with the support of a coach or mentor, can make all the difference in enhancing your success quotient score and getting attitudes in place for enhanced success.

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Source by Tricia Alice Ryan

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
Discover How to Become Rich, Famous & Successful With a Modeling Career

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The road to becoming rich, famous and successful in modeling is not for everyone though. In the old days you had to be extra extra skinny in order to become a rich and famous model. Today however there are far more modeling avenues that entice many looks and body types.

You may have looked at a fashion magazine and have a pretty good idea of what modeling is. To get a good look into the requirements of modeling you may want to catch an episode of Americas Next Top Model. Most of the models on the tv show are high fashion models, but you may be wanting to get into another type of modeling like plus size industry. Modeling is everywhere we go and look. Only you know what kind of model you could be but be truthful with you self.

Before you jump into pursuing a modeling career you need to make sure your are doing it for the right reasons. If not you will misguide yourself and will not make it to where you want. If you think modeling is a good way to jump start your singing or acting career you best think about it again. People with this attitude rarely make it very far in modeling. All the top modeling professionals frown upon people like this everyday. To become rich, famous and successful in a modeling career you will need to have dedication and passion.

If you are male you will need to step outside of your shell to succeed. You see more female models than you do male models. Do not let this get you down by thinking you have to display big muscles. Modeling has went through many changes since the early days. Over time new genres, styles and looks have been added with even more on the way. You just might have that new style consumers are trying to find. You just never know in our ever changing world.

To be successful in a career of modeling you will need a high level of self confidence and ambition. No matter if you are female, male or what your body type is. When you enter into modeling you will have to work extra hard to be be transformed into a popular well known face. Be careful not to get ties up with an agency that does not treat or handle their clients honestly and respectfully. Every good agency will not need you to give them money. They will earn money once you land your first modeling gig.

When you find open calls make sure you go and do not talk yourself into not going no matter what you are thinking. Just do it. You see an open call is just as good as open houses where interested models are invited to be interviewed. You need to dress in clothing that will exhibit your body type and features. You will also want to pick an outfit out that is fashionable. This is your chance to prove yourself to the representatives of the agency. You will not stand out to them if you just wear your normal everyday clothes. To become famous you have to act like your famous in order to become rich, famous and successful in modeling.

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Source by Dennis J. Cole

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
One of the Best Pound for Pound: Juan Manuel Marquez

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Mexican boxing legend Juan Manuel Marquez is not only a legend in his home country but also a global sports icon. His story is inspiring and is an example for other young boxers to follow. Hailing from Iztapalapa one of the poorest regions in Mexico Marquez’s rise from an average Mexican to a boxing legend is nothing short of amazing. Currently Marquez is preparing for his next big fight against Timothy Bradley. The Marquez VS Bradley fight is among the most anticipated this year as this match could determine once and for all the best welterweight in the world. In light of this fight and his overall career Juan Manuel Marquez is launching a new documentary titled Libra X Libra (Pound for Pound). Let’s discuss this documentary and Marquez’s story in more detail.

The Documentary

All boxing enthusiasts going to the Marquez VS Bradley match should watch this documentary. You will get to take an in depth look into Marquez’s life. Everything related to his boxing career has been discussed in this documentary. You will get to hear the views of those who trained Marquez and helped him throughout his career. You will get to see Marquez’s background and learn how he started his career.

Training and Fitness

This documentary just might encourage you to get Marquez VS Bradley tickets. Libra x Libra will show you the training regime of this great fighter. You will get to know what makes Marquez special as a boxer in the ring. Marquez will also discuss how he keeps himself in shape and what motivates him every time he steps in the ring for big fights such as the upcoming Marquez VS Bradley match.

Family

The documentary will take you right into Juan Manuel Marquez’s home and show you how he spends time with his family. Marquez will also talk about his beliefs and some of his proudest moments in the boxing ring.

Conclusion

Libra X Libra should excite all boxing enthusiasts. This is a great documentary that shares the experiences of a true boxing icon. Anyone who is planning to go to the Marquez VS Bradley match should watch this documentary first. It is a must watch for everyone as it will give you a detailed perspective into Marquez’s life and career. The documentary has a runtime of 90 minutes and is in Spanish. But you can get English subtitles as well if you don’t understand the language.

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Source by Marisol Martinez

Views: 0

January 31, 2020
How Internet Network Marketing is Helping and Empowering Multi Level Marketing Businesses

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If you’ve been in or around the network marketing industry you’ve seen some of the consequences of doing what the old scholars have done over the years. Sure, there is plenty of empowering things about the business model and there are also somethings that some network marketer’s wouldn’t want to talk to you about.

What happens when you send someone out with just a of names list and a few words to tell people when they come in contact with. Which have high hopes and ambition to go out and talk to people only to find out the person tells them no. After that first no it’s harder to get up and get going again to ask the next person.

What happens when they call leads and no one answers only to find out that the leads that they purchased are old leads and they find out later that they just wasted their hard earned money for something that they thought at the time would help them in their network marketing business.

How their up line told them that they need to come to an event or a summit when they new that they didn’t have the money to go, but went anyway just to hear the same lecture over and over the whole entire time they were there. Just to find out later that all of that was a waste of time and money. Of course they are pumped for a little while, but reality comes back quick!

Going to weekly briefings will help them in there business if they will come and bring someone. Only to find out that every week is the same thing. Their doing “the thing”, but nothing ever happens.

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Source by Mark Colbert

Views: 0

January 29, 2020
Mind, Body, Spirit Healing–Putting It into Practice

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Modern Medicine promotes the belief that health and wellness is a crap shoot, genetically driven and at best, pure luck. If the roll of the dice isn’t in your favor or your genetic make-up has been doomed six generations back, or luck runs out, Modern Medicine has a magic pill, chemical bomb or simply cutting out whatever organ is afflicted as a solution.

Norman Vincent Peale declared, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” Caroline Myss, medical intuitive extraordinaire states, “Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences.” Wayne Dyer states, “We are responsible for everything in our lives, including whether the chemistry in our body works or doesn’t work.” If you believe health and wellness is a crap shoot, genetically driven or pure luck you have set the stage for body malfunction. If you believe as Norman Vincent Peale, Caroline Myss, PhD and Wayne Dyer, PhD, Deepak Chopra, MD believe your choices, thoughts and feelings are an act of power, and that you are responsible, then you are in control of your health.

To be effective Mind, Body, Spirit healing needs to be practiced on a daily basis–not after your body is being ravaged by a malfunction. Mind, Body, Spirit healing is a process that maintains and supports health and wellness, thereby prevents body malfunction. People who practice Mind, Body Spirit healing avoid having cancer, MS, heart attacks, strokes, and the 101 other afflictions from A to Z, which Modern Medicine has conditioned us to be plagued by from birth to death–for many a premature death.

The nine most frequent surgeries in America are Tonsillectomies, myringotomies, Cataract removal, Low-back surgery, Gall Bladder removal, Hysterectomies, C-Section, Sleep Apnea, Jaw pain.

As Dr. Myss stated–“…every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological,…consequences.” In order to change any biological consequence you need to change your thoughts, which changes your feelings. Your new thoughts/beliefs must be shifted to empower you to control your health.

To eliminate/avoid the most common reasons for surgery, it is important to know the thoughts/beliefs, which creates body malfunctions and healthy thoughts/beliefs to prevent or heal it.

Tonsillitis, Quinsy, Sore Throat – cause: Fear, Repressed emotions, Stifled Creativity, A strong belief that you cannot speak up for yourself and ask for your needs, Feeling unable to express yourself. Holding in angry words.

Remedy: “I release all restrictions and I am free to be me. It is my birth right to have my needs met. I now ask for what I want with love and with ease. My good now flows freely. Divine ideas express through me. I am at peace.”

Ear Infection – cause: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Parents arguing.

Remedy: Myringotomies are performed for recurrent ear infection, usually in children under five. Since your child is incapable of changing the thoughts/feelings you need to take the responsibility to change the child’s experience and foster the expression of feelings. Listen to and acknowledge your child’s feelings. Avoid talking at your child, talk with your child. There many excellent books on effective parenting. If there is turmoil, fighting and arguing between the parents–seek counseling to resolve your adult issues. I urge adults who have frequent colds/sore throats to use the following thought patterns. “I hear with love. Harmony surrounds me. I listen with love to the pleasant and the good. I am a center of love.”

Cataracts – cause: Inability to see ahead with joy. Belief in a dark future.

Remedy: “Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.”

Gall Bladder problems-cause: Bitterness. Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride. Fear.

Remedy: “I joyously release all hurts from the past. Life is sweet and so am I.

Uterus/ovary problems – cause: Allowing confusion to reign. Giving power to outside influences. Rejection of the feminine processes.

Remedy: “I am at home in my body. I am balanced in my creative flow.

C-Section-cause: Belief in old wives tales. Belief–childbirth should be painless. Fear. Stopping the process. Rejection of the feminine processes. Unhealed aftereffects of child sexual abuse/rape or adult rape cause the memory of trauma to interfere with the natural birth process. If you are a sexual child abuse or adult rape survivor heal the emotional and physical aftereffects. See http://www.gen-assist.com to find a sexual abuse recovery specialist, traditional therapy is not effective to guide you through sexual abuse recovery.

Remedy: Change your beliefs about childbirth. Take natural childbirth classes. A mid-wife and/or doula can lead you through a healthy delivery in the majority of instances. “I trust the process of life. I am safe. I am balanced in my creative flow.”

Jaw Pain-cause: Anger. Resentment. Desire for revenge.

Remedy: “I am willing to change the patterns in me that created this condition. I love and approve of myself. I am safe.”

Sleep Apnea: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns, overweight or tonsil malfunction.

Remedy: “I release all that is unlike love and joy in my mind. I move from the past into the new and fresh and vital.” Lose weight and follow remedy for tonsil malfunction.

Low-Back Pain L-1 to L- 5 – cause: Crying for love and a need to be lonely. Insecurity. Stuck in childhood pain. See no way out. Sexual abuse. Guilt. Self-hatred. Rejection of sexuality. Financial insecurity. Fear of career. Feeling powerless. Insecurity. Difficulty in communicating. Anger. Inability to accept pleasure.

Remedy: “I am safe in the universe and all Life loves me and supports me. I grow beyond my parents’ limitations and live for myself. It is my turn now. I release the past. I cherish myself and my beautiful sexuality. I am safe. I love who I am. I am grounded in my own power. I am secure on all levels. I deserve to enjoy life. I ask for what I want and I accept with joy and pleasure.”

Tip: Write these thoughts on a 3X5 card. Read them silently or out loud 3 times upon awakening and before going to sleep. Have a copy with you, if you notice you are running the old tapes in your head, read the new thought pattern. Within 30 – 45 days you will notice you feel better, more energized and have a sense of relief.

The food we eat or lack of proper nutrition contributes to physical malfunction. I will discuss nutritional needs–titled Holistic Nutrition.

Article resource: Heal Your Body, Louise Hay.

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Source by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Views: 0

January 27, 2020
An Ounce Of Help Is Better Than A Pound Of Preaching

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It's very difficult to console someone who is down. Criticism won't help but a listening heart can. Feeling what someone else is going through is already a comfort. Understanding and empathy is better than a pound of preaching because of a mistake. Blaming won't help either. Though, it's easier to find fault with other people but it's different when your compassion is what they needed.

Acknowledge that you understand the person's feelings. Sometimes people want to seek advice or a solution to their problem. But as seen, they usually want to vent their feelings. This is especially true for women. So, just listen. Let that the other person to talk, so that they can sort their feelings themselves; They may not even be able to articulate why they're feeling down, unless you draw it out of them.

Never minimize their pain or try to cheer them up. When faced with tears, sometimes we insist that whatever they're upset about is no big deal. Don't trivialize their experience, but walk through it with them. Put yourself on their shoes so that you can easily understand what they've been through. Words may not be that trivial but the way you respond to a situation matters.

Sometimes people don't want to talk and just want to be held in silence. They also just want to feel that they are not alone. So, your presence is already enough to comfort them. Even if you won't offer consoling words, the mere fact that you stay with them is already a relief.

In such circumstance, the person typically feels better after having shared the burden in their heart, and the pain fades eventually. Having someone who is willing to listen and will never judge you despite your flaws is a gift. How on earth I survive life's struggle if I don't have a friend whom I can lean on especially when I am so down and depressed.

Money is nothing compared to a friend who can help you without extending any monetary budget to you. If a problem is not resolve yet, she can offer you a solution to improve the situation without pressuring you to do it. She always listens. Even if she also has problems of her own.

With someone who's sad not because of an isolated event, but because they suffer from disappointments, just talk to her and listen. Excess rumination is not only ineffective in alleviating depressed feelings, it can also worsen them.

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Source by Rosemarie Sumalinog Gonzales

Views: 0

January 27, 2020