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  • Can Emotional Pain Build-Up If Someone Doesn’t Have A Strong Connection With Their Body?

    Can Emotional Pain Build-Up If Someone Doesn’t Have A Strong Connection With Their Body?

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    After someone has experienced loss, they could end up experiencing emotional pain. When it comes to how severe this pain is, it can all depend on who has passed on.

    So, if a family member has passed on, the amount of pain that they are in could be unbearable. Through being in so much pain, one could reach out for the support of family and friends.

    Additional Help

    This might not be enough, though, and one might end up reaching out for professional assistance. Perhaps their friends and their family are unable to be there for them on a regular basis.

    It could be said that this is just part of life as these people are going to have their own responsibilities to deal with. There is also the chance that these people are also in a lot of pain and haven’t always got the energy to be there for them.

    The Sensible Approach

    The main thing here is that one will be embracing how they feel, and this will allow them to gradually embrace life once again. This doesn’t mean that they will ever ‘get over’ what took place; what it means is that they won’t stay stuck in this emotional place forever.

    Additionally, one may also allow themselves to cry when they need to or during certain times. What this will illustrate is that one has a healthy relationship with the emotional part of their being.

    Just One Example

    If this is the case, it is going to be normal for them to embrace how they feel. Therefore, regardless of whether someone passes on, a relationship comes to an end, or something else takes place that has an impact on them, they will go with how they feel.

    It is not going to be an issue for them to cry or to get angry, for instance, which may generally stop too much emotional pain from building-up inside their body. This is going to allow them to operate as whole human being.

    Two Sides

    Of course, there will be times when facing how they feel will be hard, even overwhelming, but it will be worth it. The reason for this is that having a good connection with their feelings will benefit their life in a myriad of ways.

    For one thing, it will give them the ability to form deeper connections with others, and this wouldn’t be possible if they were emotionally disconnected. Also, their feelings will give them the guidance that they need to live a fulfilling.

    A Different Experience

    For someone else, it could be normal for them to deny how they feel after they have experienced loss. It is then not going to matter what kind of loss takes place as they will respond in the same way.

    Through taking this approach, they may believe that the emotional pain they were in has simply disappeared. Yet, although it may seem as though is the case, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

    Disconnected

    In reality, their mind will have lost touch with their body and this part of them will still be carrying their feelings. However, as their point of awareness is generally in their head, this is unlikely to occur to them.

    To maintain the illusion that they have created, it will be vital for them to do what they can to stay out of their body. If this doesn’t take place and they were to get back in there, they would end up being overwhelmed by emotional pain.

    Twp Parts

    Living on the surface of themselves may allow them to be successful when it comes to their career, for instance, but it unlikely that they will be able to experience intimacy or to live a life that is deeply fulfilling. It could also be a real challenge for them to relax and to just be; if they were to settle down, all the pain that is inside them could start to rise up.

    Being on the go just about all of the time, acting like a ‘human doing’ as opposed to a ‘human being’, will be a way for them to avoid themselves. Nonetheless, this kind of behaviour is often seen as a sign that someone is ‘driven’ or has ‘high self-esteem’, so very few people are likely to realise that something isn’t right.

    What’s going on?

    If someone has the tendency to avoid how they feel as an adult and to live in their head, this could be something that has taken place for as long as they can remember. Perhaps, their early years were a time when they didn’t receive the attunement that they needed to develop in the right way.

    As a result of this, leaving their body and getting into their head would have been the only way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed. The years will then have passed, but staying out of their body will still be a way for them to stop themselves from being taken out by how they feel.

    A Build-Up

    Their body can then carry the emotional pain that they avoided as a child and it can carry all of the pain that they have avoided as an adult. The longer they avoid themselves in this way, the more pain there will be.

    With this is mind, the sooner that they face this pain the better it will be. Facing this pain is what will allow them to not just look whole on the outside, but to feel whole on the inside.

    ​

    Awareness

    If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they will most likely need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

    Views: 0

  • Exploring The Forex Trading System

    Exploring The Forex Trading System

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    Most people are familiar with the most basic form of Foreign Exchange Trading. They know that when you travel abroad, one of the first things you do after disembarking is to find the nearest place for currency exchange. Depending on the country you call home and the country you are visiting, currency exchange will leave you either richer or poorer based on the exchange rate.

    Nowadays however, Foreign Exchange Trading, or Forex, has taken on another meaning. If you hear two people excitedly chatting about Forex in an elevator or coffee shop, they are most likely referring to a type of investment trading that is growing in both popularity and esteem.

    How It Works

    Basically, Forex trading is how investment traders speculate regarding the trends and fluctuations in currencies. If a trader is able to stay on top of trends and accurately predict the disparities between pairs of currency values, they can make considerable profits through Forex trading.

    For instance, the USD (US Dollar) and EUR (Euro) is a very commonly traded currency pair. If you had reason to believe that the USD will drop in value compared to the EUR then you would “go long” and purchase EUR/USD. If, on the other hand, you predict that the USD will rise in value, then your reaction would be to “go short”. Of course, this is just a very basic example of the principles of Forex; experienced traders keep track of many different currency pairs simultaneously using Forex Trading Systems.

    All foreign exchange trading is done through a Forex broker. These brokers handle the trades and place them on the open market by networking with banks. Because of the fluctuating nature of currency exchange, Forex is a very dynamic form of investment trading. Also, unlike the international stock market, Forex is open throughout the day. The primary reason people engage in Forex is, of course, to make a profit. However, many are motivated to stick with it because of its thrilling nature.

    Best Strategies for Up-and-Coming Traders

    Although many people are able to supplement their incomes through Forex, it is by no means a quick and easy way to get rich. Using the Forex Trading System correctly takes time, experience, and patience. Those who are new to a Forex Trading System will need to spend time getting familiar with the jargon and tuning into ever-changing currency trends. Some general tips for newcomers to the Forex scene include:

    Select a Forex Trading System that accommodates and adapts to the dynamic nature of the market. If you are using a software package to manage your trades, you will be best served by a program that keeps pace with the lightning fast changes that occur in currency trading. There is also a lot to be said for software that has a clear, easily understood format so you aren’t struggling to keep track of what’s happening in the market.

    When you first dip your toes into the world of Forex, a good rule of thumb is “less is more”. This means that you should start small with your trading and build up slowly from there based on your successes. For instance, focus your initial efforts on a single currency pair and use that experience to inform future trades. Along those same lines, don’t use the maximum amount of leverage when you are new to Forex; that’s a sure-fire way to rapidly accumulate losses. Instead, begin with small leverage ratios and gradually increase as you become more experienced.

    If you really want to stay on top of trades and trends, you will need to use a Forex Trading System that will send you messages regularly. This will allow you to immediately take advantage of trends and reap the financial benefits.

    Most Forex brokers allow you to use a trading demo to get some practice before actually investing any money. Take advantage of these demos as they can give you a feel for currency trading in a risk-free environment.

    Foreign Exchange Trading can be difficult to master, but with a level head, an effective Forex Trading System, and patience, you will be rewarded for your efforts.

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    Source by Tiffany M. White

    Views: 0

  • Dealing With Customer Complaints – B.L.A.S.T

    Dealing With Customer Complaints – B.L.A.S.T

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    In a restaurant, not so far away, in the not so distant future, a telephone rings, a customer complains… and the battle begins!

    Handling customer complaints doesn’t have to always be a battle, with the right tools and responses you can use complaints to your advantage; to help you build your business. B.L.A.S.T is a great tool that is used by companies such as Yum! (Parent company of KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, A&W, and Long John Silvers). Training their employees in the basics of handling customer complaints. The acronym stands for:

    Believe

    Listen

    Apologize

    Satisfy

    Thank

    How does your company deal with customer complaints? The easiest way to find out is to pick up the phone and play the role of the complaining customer. What happened? If you were an irritated customer, would you return? Using the B.L.A.S.T guidelines, allows you to create a standardized method for dealing with your complainers and turning them into loyal customers.

    Believe

    This is the cornerstone of handling a customer complaint. Yes, the customer may be lying and be incorrect about their situation. It is important to understand that your customer believes that your establishment has wronged them.

    Listen

    Stop and listen to your customer’s complaint. I’m not certain whether it’s natural instinct or just plain stubbornness. As soon as a customer starts to complain, we start to think of how we will respond to the accusation before we are done listening, and too often the case, already have the response ready to fight back. Take a second, relax, and listen. On occasion a complaining customer will be rude, angry, and use vulgar language, stay the course and remain calm and level headed.

    When the customer is done venting; in a calm, non-judgmental tone, repeat their problem. An example I used in my KFC for a mispacked order:

    “What I hear you saying is that, you came in ordered and paid for 10 Pieces of chicken and when you got home, you only received 8, is that correct?”

    By repeating the problem at hand, you’ve demonstrated your ability to the customer that you heard and understood their problem.

    Listen and clarify. Never defend or justify. The customer doesn’t care if you were shorthanded or if you’re having a bad day, they only care that they get taken care of. No excuses, just solutions.

    Apologize

    Always apologize even if you did nothing wrong. From your customers’ perspective, they have a legitimate complaint, and they expect an apology. It could be as simple as “I’m sorry we’ve inconvenienced you.” or “I’m sorry I know how frustrating it is to buy dinner for my family, only not to have everything there when I get home” A sincere apology will usually diffuse a lot of frustration that the customer has. There is an exception to this rule though, if a customer calls with a critical complaint, such as food poisoning, don’t apologize, it may be construed as an acceptance of guilt, instead refer to your company’s procedures for such events.

    Satisfy

    Make it right. Ask the customer “What can I do to make this right for you”? Be the judge of what is fair of course, but allow them the opportunity to feel empowered over the situation. Many times they may ask for the problem be taken care of on their next visit or maybe that you talk to the person who made the mistake and correct them. We used a great system of sending out a personalized postcard apologizing for the mistake, it was a couple of handwritten sentences (yes, many times with spelling mistakes from my team members), but it was personal and always well received. We always gave them the unexpected as well, maybe a free dessert or an extra side dish just to show that we cared about them.

    Thank

    At the beginning, at the end, in the middle; it doesn’t matter, thank the customer for calling and complaining.

    Why? With the simple act of complaining, your customer is telling you “I care about your business and your success”. They are giving you the opportunity to fix the problem and invite them back so they can give you more of their money. Puts a different spin on it doesn’t it? Thank them for giving you that second chance, for letting you know that something in your restaurant didn’t work like it normally does, for giving you the chance to make it right, and for the opportunity not to damage your reputation!

    Reputation? I had to throw that one in. You work hard, day in day out, trying the best to make your business the best, and yet one unhappy customer can take it away from you. A happy customer will tell two or three friends about a good experience, but an unhappy customer will tell at least ten friends about their experience and it always multiplies through word of mouth. Case in point, when I moved cross country to my new hometown, I was at a Chamber of Commerce event and being the new person in the group, I introduced myself and what we did. No sooner than five minutes passed did I get a list of 10 restaurants in my area that in their opinion were in “need of my services”. Only one person gave me a good restaurant. I didn’t ask, I was told. To this day I still haven’t been to those restaurants as a customer, why do I want to give them my hard earned money, when they made my new friends unhappy? It may not be a rational thought, but it is human nature.

    Will some people take advantage of your kindness? Of course, a rule of thumb I used in my restaurant was:

    First time shame on me,

    Second time shame on me, but I’m watching you,

    Third time… Shame on you and I will make the decision on how I will deal with you as a customer.

    Keep track of who calls to complain, names, phone numbers for follow up, addresses for your postcards. Using a binder and tracking your complaints, you will be able to detect and deter those that would take advantage of your new complaint procedures.

    Adding B.L.A.S.T to your expanding toolbox of customer service tools will help you in dealing with customer complaints and turn them around so they can tell their friends what great service you have!

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    Source by Albert Barneto

    Views: 0

  • Different Types of Drug Rehab

    Different Types of Drug Rehab

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    Drug rehab is a broad topic as there are many forms of drug rehab. Which type would suit a person with an addition would depend on the level of dependence, the type of drug addicted to, and their social situation. Some of the drug rehab centers offer medicine that will help to relieve the withdrawal symptoms, methods to address the underlying reason of additions, and intensive counseling. Many drug rehab centers offer out-patient and in-patient treatment.

    Generally, every form of rehab starts in a medical locale. This is so professional health care staff can monitor the patient during chemical detoxification. This is when the drug leaves their system chemically and the patient no longer is dependent physically on the drug. Under the health care professional supervision, the patient's side-effects can be eased with medication, sleep, and proper nutrition. This is an interventionary stage and it is seldom enough to allow them to recover completely from their drug addiction because there is no psychological component.

    In-patient treatment

    This kind of rehab provides supervision on a full time basis in an environment that is tightly controlled. The patient can live in a community outreach center, psychiatric cent, or a facility that is connected with a hospital. The drug rehab center provides support with housing and meal plans. This form of drug rehab will usually involve an interventionary program. This can be as few as thirty days along with the belief that the patient will continue treatment as an out-patient.

    Out-patient treatment

    This type of rehab relies on addicts voluntarily attending treatment as an out-patient. This means that the patients will work and live independently, attend meeting, classes, or counseling sessions that are designed to give them new coping mechanisms to manage stress so they do not return to drugs. It includes a 12-step program like what is used with Alcoholics Anonymous and has a strong spiritual center. This form of drug rehab can be casual or during group therapy with a counselor trained in drug addictions in a out-patient setting.

    Underlying causes

    Some drug rehab centers try to address the underlying causes of repeated relapse and addition.

    • Estrangement from friends and family
    • Not having a support system
    • Little to no employment skills
    • Living in an area that is united entirely by those that use drugs
    • Mental illness

    Holistic approach to drug rehab

    With this approach there are community centers and half-way houses where they can receive practical advice, acquire job skills, and sufficient time to remove themselves completely from old acquaintances that are still into drugs. Many times, they will allow them to stay six to twelve months. When they leave they are confident they can manage on their own without going back to drugs.

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    Source by Lora Davis

    Views: 1

  • How To Find A Good MLM Opportunity!

    How To Find A Good MLM Opportunity!

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    How to find a good honest MLM Company after investing precious time and money with maxed out credit card debt, multiple failures, and not knowing what to do next is the reality many people experience.

    After working on-line for years, with more failures than successes; I learned how to create a financial freedom lifestyle by research, careful thought, planning and being comfortable with a business

    Jane wanted something to help supplement her retirement income. A friend introduced her to an online marketing opportunity that could accumulate wealth and Jane didn’t need to do anything but set it and forget it. The company did the work and she just received a weekly check.

    She signed up with no money for this business convinced that the first year she could earn ten thousand dollars a month passive income. But then her free sign-up came with an up sell including admin fee, a twenty-nine dollar monthly website fee to use the back office, and the company offered a marketing system for twenty-nine dollars a month.

    Two months later Jane quit, but immediately signed up with another company and continued joining business after business. Nothing worked. Jane learned the hard way after losing thousands of dollars that getting involved an MLM Company needed serious consideration.

    If you’re like Jane and are spending more money than you’re earning; chances are you’ve made a mistake. Are you working in a field that you’re interested in, enjoy and won’t stress you to the breaking point? Are you comfortable using the product and selling it? Are you willing to recruit other people and help train them? If you answered no to any of these questions; it’s time for a new start.

    A few tips to help you get starting in the right direction.

    1. Decide how much time you want or need to work a business.
    2. Look for a company that sells products that you would use.
    3. Read the product labels. If you’re comfortable then buy the product.
    4. Research the company, look at the Better Business Bureau Rating.
    5. Check to see if this company is in good standing with the Direct Selling Association.
    6. Learn about the Founders/Management of the company (and research those people.) Are they trustworthy?

    When you finally chose a company, read carefully the policies/rules/disclaimers and privacy statement.

    MLM marketing is a business that requires planning, setting goals, action, and time. Marketing strategies are critical and can become marketing tragedies; market with caution.

    Remember this; Everyone is not your customer. And everyone is not interested in joining an MLM Opportunity.

    I’ve only touched the surface about how to find business that you could be successful at working and also have fun doing it.

    People buy from people; not companies. Brand yourself not the company. That company may not always work out or stay in business. By branding yourself you can move on and keep your followers.

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    Source by Patricia A Gaines

    Views: 0

  • Real Grief Requires Attention – Real Grief Healing Requires Attention

    Real Grief Requires Attention – Real Grief Healing Requires Attention

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    As you experienced your personal grieving key questions must be addressed: How can you overcome floating on a cloud of despair? How do you overcome your sorrow and loss? Can you overcome your sorrow on your own? Can God give you additional inspiration and strength? When and how do you give attention to your grief? What action steps must you take to start healing and stop grieving?

    Five Essential Healing Attention Stepping Stones To Help You Restore Your Happiness And Find Peace Again:

    1-Let Happiness Sneak In The Back Door

    “Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.” ~ John Barrymore

    Happy moments are ever-present. Happy opportunities are abundant even at times of your unwanted grieving. Often, new happy healing possibilities sneak unnoticed through the door you left opened, setting motionless waiting to be recruited and embraced. During your unique personal grieving, you may not have perceived their value. Look again for all happy joyful moments, opportunities and possibilities.

    2-Be Grateful For All Good Things

    “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” ~ Marianne Williamson

    Grief happenings come in many dosages, but true about all grief happenings, happy happenings are also present. Counting your grateful moments, as bad as your grieving condition may be, is healing to the soul and your emotions. Often during a grief experience it is not uncommon to not look for joy in your life; it’s seldom easy to find.

    “Half the joy of life is in little things taken on the run… but let us keep our hearts young and our eyes open that nothing worth our while shall escape us.”

    ~ Victor Cherbuliez

    Your grief experience may have had you on the dead run on a sorrow path. Your eyes may need adjusted so that nothing worthwhile will continue to escape your view or grasp. Counting your blessings will help concentrate on the good things that are part of you.

    3-Accept Personal Responsibility

    Certainly, you may not have been able to prevent or control how your grief from happening in your life.

    “Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”

    ~Walter Anderson

    Although you may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, you are responsible for your attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that may darken your life.

    I beg you – Do not despair for behind every dark and dismal grief cloud is a beautiful blue sky with a happy rainbow of future hope available for you. Seek it! Decide what you can do-and do it!

    4-Don’t Waste Your Days – It Is Your Proper Time To Live Not Merely Exist

    I am sure you are familiar with the often-quoted phrase: “The saddest words of tongue and pen are it might have been.” Your challenge is to carefully examine your grief condition then execute actions to live your life, given your grief circumstances, with no misgivings and no uncertainties.

    Even given your horrendous unwanted grief experience, you must learn to enjoy all grateful healing moments as you learn to take the actions necessary to release all anxiety and hesitation.

    Treat each day as a new opportunity. As you choose your personal action plan be sure you plan is one with full awareness and intention. Don’t waste your days grieving; live your life fully don’t merely exist. Don’t squander your time – start healing and stop grieving now!

    5-Thoughtfully Choose All Healing Possibilities

    Consider all opportunities. In the midst of your grieving stay alert and aware of all healing doors which may be available for you to open. You really are the one who determines your permanent destiny. Accept the challenge to rejoice for those things you have.

    At all times, embrace all positive available social media, technology, internet, and all other beneficial and essential resource solutions. Think about asking for Gods help. Overcoming despair, grief and loss should be your highest priority. To stop grieving, start healing grief, loss, and sorrow – and finding hope and joy is vital to you experiencing lasting peace and happiness.

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    Source by Duane Marchant

    Views: 0

  • Be An Expert Internet Marketer

    Be An Expert Internet Marketer

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    Perception is so important in dealing with other people in any aspect of human experience. In the field of internet marketing this is especially true. Your website visitors, subscribers and customers should perceive you as someone they can believe in; someone they can trust. To this end it is so important to always ensure that the information you provide is accurate and honest. Even if you are not the greatest expert on a topic your customers should perceive you as a source of reliable and valuable information. Never claim to be something you are not but by offering quality your subscribers and customers will consider you to be someone they can comfortably deal with.

    A good starting point is to establish yourself in a particular niche. At a later date you may well wish to expand your business into other fields, but I would recommend that you operate in just one subject area to start with. The more specialized your chosen niche is, the easier it will be to promote yourself as the 'go-to' person. If the niche you choose is one where you already have an in-depth knowledge then you are in a very strong position to market within that niche. You can genuinely portray yourself as an expert by way of autobiographical notes added to your website, articles or sales pages.

    If you do not have that level of expertise, concentrate on learning as much as possible about your niche through research and study. Immerse yourself in all aspects of the niche so you do become, at least, something of an expert, able to answer queries and give a genuine aura of knowledge which will go down very well with your customers. It has been said that the definition of an expert in any field is someone who knows more than you do. Any newly qualified teacher will tell you how, from time-to-time, they manage to stay just one lesson ahead of their students.

    There have been libraries full of advice about how to select an ideal niche so I am not going to cover that here. You will find that information very, very easily via your search engine, but one piece of general advice would be to find a topic which has a significant following but which has limited coverage on the internet. As always with internet marketing, research is the key. The marketplace is vast so there are seams of gold out there as yet un-mined if you can find them. Go prospecting!

    Being seen as an expert by your website visitors will always have a significant positive impact on your business but you do need people to find your website and related copy to be 'suitably impressed'. Finding a profitable niche which is largely undeveloped will make it easier to bring in the traffic as the competition will be much less fierce. Once you have people on your site then, and only then, can you impress them with your expertise, your available information and your products. You might say that these two things go hand-in-hand – traffic and expertise.

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    Source by Rob J Hinchliffe

    Views: 0

  • Commitment & Determination – What Makes You an Entrepreneur

    Commitment & Determination – What Makes You an Entrepreneur

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    What makes you an entrepreneur?; this question is simple but very difficult to answer. For a long time, people have studied the science behind entrepreneurial process, what drives a great entrepreneur, the things that make an ordinary person transforms into a job creator.

    To answer this question, it’s much better if we try to understand what’s behind entrepreneurial process. At the heart of every entrepreneurial process is the founder, the opportunity seeker, the creator and initiator, the leader, problem solver, and motivator; the planner and the guardian of vision and mission. Without this human energy, behavior, drive, and vitality, the greatest ideas-even when they are backed by an overabundance of resources and people-will fail, grossly underperform, or simply never get off the ground. Brilliant athletic aptitude and potential is not equal with the great athlete. The difference is invisible and intangible: commitment, tenacity and determination.

    Commitment and determination are seen as more important than any other factor that inspiring an entrepreneur. It makes an entrepreneur can overcome incredible obstacles and also compensate enormously for other weaknesses. Almost without any exception, entrepreneurs live under extreme, constant pressure (when they start their business, for them to stay alive, and for them to grow). A new business requires top priority of entrepreneur’s time, emotion, patient, and loyalty. The level of entrepreneur’s commitment can be measured in several ways: through a willingness to invest a substantial portion of his or her net worth in the venture, through a willingness to take a cut in pay because he or she will own a major piece of venture, and through the other big sacrifices in lifestyle and family circumstances. Clearly, commitment and determination usually demand personal sacrifice.

    What you should keep in mind is that the desire to win never equal to the will to never give up. And this is actually a critical distinction. So many lead entrepreneurs say that they really want to win, but only few have the dogged tenacity and unflinching perseverance to make it happen. Just take an example of a young entrepreneur who made several phone call but none were returned. He made a few more calls but still, no response. Over the next week he made yet another series of calls that once again received no response. At that point, what would you do? Would you keep trying, or decide to move on and not waste any more time? Only you can answer this question, and the answer will gives a clear picture of your persistence’s level.

    Entrepreneurs who successfully build new business seek to overcome hurdles, solve problems, and complete the job. They are disciplined, tenacious, and persistent. They are able to commit and recommit quickly. They love to win and love to compete at anything. However, if tasks are unsolvable, an entrepreneur will be the first person to give up than the others. There is a fair opinion says that while entrepreneurs are extremely persistent, they are also realistic in recognizing what they can and can’t. They know where they can get help to solve a very difficult but necessary task.

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    Source by Rendy Dalimunthe

    Views: 0

  • The Gay Solution (1): Finding a Loving Male Partner to Marry

    The Gay Solution (1): Finding a Loving Male Partner to Marry

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    Sex without love wouldn't satisfy you for more than 15 minutes and love without sex wouldn't satisfy you at all. So how do you find both in the same man? That was the question I left you with in a previous article.

    A friend of mine is a life-insurance broker. He always says that there is only one rule for survival in sales and that is see people, see people, and see people. It's a numbers game. Of all the people you are going to see only between 2 and 10% will buy from you, so the more you see, the better your sales. Meeting people is exactly the same; the more people you meet, the better your chance of meeting the right person. Luckily there are a few possibilities in meeting new people.

    The older guys (read: even older than I am) tell us that they didn't have gay clubs, bars, or dating services so they had to refine their gaydar and flirting skills. The fact is that those skills are still just as valuable today as they were years ago. Another important skill is taking it one step at a time. Two types of guys never end up with a perfect match; those who fly off in a second, and those who never come out of the starting block. The guys that fly off are proposing marriage before they even know the other guy, and those in the starting blocks only stare evening in and evening out.

    If you are a flyer you need to relax. Look for friends in stead of possible partners. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than a guy who hits on you after he has tried everybody else on his way to your table. Friendly people have a few good friends, many acquaintances, and two or three possible people they might be interested in. Guys who try to fly into serious relationships have no friends, one or two acquaintances, and the whole city as possible people they are interested in. The important thing you should learn from this is that you start by meeting lots of people, you will find a few very good friends among them, and in time you will meet somebody you are really interested in. Flyers always run the risk of getting their heart broken on a weekly basis. You can never keep up with who they are in love with – it changes every time you see them, and every month or two they try you yet again. That is when you decide to ignore them completely.

    The guys who never take off are almost in the same position. They see a possibility every night, but they are too scared to do anything about it. They look a bit weird if they stand in a corner ogling everybody so you ignore them as well. They have a few acquaintances that turns into friends because they normally end up in a group of seekers – waiting for something that never happens. If you are in such a group get out and start building your self-esteem. If you do not think that you are good enough as a partner, nobody else will believe in you either.

    With that in your mind go back to the gay clubs, gay bars, dating sites, and the gay section of your local bookstore – start by making friends, being a good friend, and enjoying friendship for its own rewards. Stay away from the friend-zone – that is the ogling bunch in the corner. You will do fine.

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    Source by Brand Doubell

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