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Tag: Separation

  • I’m Hoping That My Marital Separation Will Only Be Temporary. How Do I Communicate With My Spouse?

    I’m Hoping That My Marital Separation Will Only Be Temporary. How Do I Communicate With My Spouse?

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    Many people are understandably confused about how they should communicate with their separated spouse, especially when they are hoping that the break is going to be only temporary. Some have people advising them that it’s better to speak only sparingly, while their heart might be telling them that they want to keep in constant communication.

    Someone might ask, “how are you supposed to keep in touch with a separated spouse? I’m hopeful that we will not be separated for very long, but I don’t know that for sure. My husband did make a point of getting a week to week place rather than signing a lease, so that does offer me a bit of encouragement. Still, things are not really all that great between us. We don’t fight horribly or anything, but we just seem to misunderstand one another all of the time, so things are tense and chilly. I am used to talking to my husband multiple times per day, but I don’t know how to proceed now. Some of my friends tell me that I need to follow the ‘no contact’ rule, but I don’t like the sound of that. I want to know that my husband is okay and I’d hope that he’d feel the same about me. Still, it would feel awkward calling and have him not sound like he is happy to hear from me. So I am not sure how I should be communicating and how often. What do most couples do about this?”

    It truly does depend on the couple and on the state of the marriage. In my experience, it greatly helps to try to agree on the agree that you’ll talk on certain nights and see one another at regular times, this is ideal. It allows you to check in regularly. Plus, literally seeing one another allows you to still be invested in each other’s lives.

    I know that this might seem like overkill, but too many couples leave this to chance and then some time goes by and then it’s suddenly awkward and weird to call. People also tend to assume the worst of each other when they aren’t in regular communication. So if your spouse is receptive to regular communication, I’ve found that this is best.

    With this said, sometimes one of the spouses doesn’t want excessive contact initially, especially when things are volatile. In this instance, texting can be better than nothing. That allows you to check in and let your spouse know that you are thinking of him, while it’s not as intrusive as calling so that he has to pick up.

    To be honest, I see “no contact” going wrong more than I see it being helpful. Often, with “no contact” the couple just drifts further and further away and assumes the worst of one another. The only time that I’ve seen “no contact” work is when one spouse is blatantly rejecting the other so much that communication is only possible when the rejected spouse is doing all of the heavy lifting. I had to do a variation on this, but I wouldn’t call what I did “no contact.” My husband got very tired of me always asking how he felt and what he wanted. When he wouldn’t answer me, I’d just keep calling and texting. He eventually shut down. It got to where I really had no choice but to back off. I went out of town. I told him that I was going and that I was available if he wanted to talk. I checked in every once in a while. So this wasn’t traditional “no contact,” where I completely went silent. I just toned down the communication on my end because it had become too much. But I made it clear that he could reach out to me at any time. And he eventually did. So it was to my benefit to tone down what my husband perceived as overbearing behavior. However, I would never have given my husband the perception that I didn’t want to talk to him and wasn’t available.

    Ideally, it’s best to have open and regular communication in a way that feels comfortable to both spouses. You may prefer phone conversations. Your husband might prefer texting. You might want to actually see each other at regular intervals. Whatever works for you is okay. But in my experience, it’s best to remain in contact if you can make that work. It’s so easy to not check in and then before long, you’ll find that things have deteriorated even further. You’ll worry that your spouse is seeing other people or avoiding you. These things are avoidable if you communicate, but I realize that not everyone has that luxury. Sometimes, a text might be all that you get. But at least you know that your spouse is okay and is checking in. I tried to tell myself that my goal for each communication was to make it so that my husband was open and receptive the next time that we communicated. When you leave things on a positive note, then it’s more likely to be pleasant the next time. When you look at it this way, you are more likely to be in regular communication, which in my experience is the ideal way to go.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Clues That Your Relationship Might Be Coming To an End

    Clues That Your Relationship Might Be Coming To an End

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    Nobody likes going through a break up. A break up can leave you feeling betrayed. It hurts and often takes a long time to get over. A break up can be especially be bad if it comes as a surprise. This often leaves a person confused. So how can a person recognize if the relationship they are in is about to end? There are clues you can look for. These often involve a change in behavior being exhibited by your significant other.

    Here are some common signs that your relationship may be coming to an end:

    1. Is you partner avoiding your phone calls?

    This a major clue to understanding why your relationship could be coming to and end. Lets face it when you don’t answer your cell phone it is because you do not want to talk to that person or organization. So why would your significant other not answer your phone call? It could be they are romantically involved with somebody else.

    2. Has your partner become less Romantic?

    Of course when you are lying in bed with your significant other and they are not romantically inclined is a definite sign to the beginning of the end to your relationship. This is especially evident when there a general lack of foreplay In fact this could me they are already romantically inclined to another individual.

    3. Is your partner spending more time with friends?

    There is nothing wrong when your significant other spends time with their friends. This is there play time. However this a place where they can meet other people of the opposite sex. If your relationship is on the rocks. If she or he is spending more time than usual with friends this could be a very strong clue to the end of your relationship

    4. You often get into arguments over trivial things.

    These situations often mean much bigger problems are the root cause. It is alright to discuss things with you partner. Sometimes there will anger in the discussion. However a good relationship will forgive and be capable of compromise. But if you and your significant other argue over trivial things them you are heading foe a possible separation or worse a divorce.

    5. Has your partner become disrespectful towards you?

    Bad behavior such as checking out other women or men could a definite sign. This a definite sign of possible break up. This is also a sign when a woman starts looking at other men. She will do to indicate to her man that she is not satisfied with him.

    Understanding your relationship with somebody is not easy. However this relationship is worth keeping. the first thing you must develop is a friendship before you become romantically involved.

    best regards

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    Source by Paul Luciw

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  • Why Healing Requires Integrating Our Unconscious Experiences Into The Wholeness Of Our Being

    Why Healing Requires Integrating Our Unconscious Experiences Into The Wholeness Of Our Being

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    Nurture The Deepest Part Of Your Core Nature

    Healing involves integrating our fragmented parts into the entirety of our being. However, the paradox is: we are not broken but merely disassociated from our wholeness. The term healing denotes restoring what is not functioning as it is intended. When we are caught up in the distorted beliefs about ourselves, it leads to separation or what we consider being broken. In fact, it is merely being separated from the completeness of our true nature. Think in terms of a hologram where the whole is contained in every part. This was an idea espoused by the late theoretical physicist David Bohm who believed the universe is a solid and brilliant hologram. He recognized how each part of our physical reality contained information about the whole. Therefore, our thoughts, emotions, soul and physical body are composed of our soul nature.

    How does this idea appeal to you? Are you comfortable knowing whilst you were born whole and pure, through your beliefs, thoughts and experiences it leads to separation? I'm not suggesting it is entirely your fault because we are all bound to experience this. It is said, while our painful experiences are not our fault, healing the pain is our responsibility. Although there's an element of truth to it, we ought to remember there is nothing to heal other than to attend to our unconscious memories in order to return to wholeness. By attending to these aspects, we integrate our known sense of separateness. Release and Renew is a mantra I often repeat in my writing when I discuss healing and emotions. In doing so, we release that which is not conducive to the present moment. Similarly, we renew our commitment to nurture ourselves by connecting with our core emotions. The integration I speak of is an association with our soul nature, which at its essence is pure, whole and knows nothing of separateness or brokenness. It is the egoic mind which disconnects us from our spiritual self to create two identities ie the darkness and the light.

    How To Heal Your Fragmented Parts

    I am drawn to a passage by the South African author Michael Brown, who writes in The Presence Process : "I dropped my use of the word" heal "because of its connotation that something was wrong and had to be fixed. using the word "integrate," which to me meant there was a part of my experience that was unconscious- a part of my experience that I resisted, controlled, and sedated-which was asking to be incorporated into the whole.Whereas healing felt like I was excluding something from my experience, integration felt like I was embracing everything I experienced . " I believe Brown makes two important points here: we mustn't resist nor control the past, but perceive them as the whole of our life's experience. Second, integration means to embrace or at the very least acknowledge everything that happened to us. Perhaps not right away, but when we are ready to make peace with the past.

    What are your thoughts about this? I realize you may have questions related to your personal experiences. Whilst I am not present to answer them, I assure you trying to make sense of them consciously is a healing process rather than an integration process. It is what author Dr. Mario Martinez means when he writes in The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success : "The true agents of change are elevated cognitions and exalted emotions. These agents of change provide sustain transformation; in fact, they have triumphed over the greatest infamies and darkest periods in our human journey. " It does little good to dwell on why the past took place as it did. Instead, we ought to turn the tables and consider the following questions as a basis for self-enquiry. Instead of trying to make sense of the past which keeps us trapped replaying painful memories, we identify how the experiences served us.

    1. How can I use the past to facilitate my greater growth?
    2. In what ways can I use my emotional wounds to bring peace and love to the part of me that is pure and whole?
    3. How can I integrate my sense of separateness into the wholeness of my being?
    4. Whom do I need to become and let go of to achieve this inner state?

    Once we can perceive the pain of the past through the lens of: compassion, forgiveness, peace and love we heal our fragmented parts. It may involve deep exploration into ourselves with or without the guidance of a trained therapist. Considering this, I'd like you to spend the following week journaling your answers to the four questions above. Call it a remote coaching session if you like. Write what comes to mind even if it involves images or symbols. Similarly, pay attention to your dreams via the symbols that appear. Note how you feel within the dream and upon waking. Look for messages in your waking life in the form of people, places and situations that cause you unrest. This is your soul guiding you towards integration. Ultimately, to heal ourselves we must be willing to integrate the pain of the past, so healing happens naturally as nature intended it to.

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    Source by Tony Fahkry

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  • People Are Not Very Supportive Of My Marital Separation. They Aren’t Happy For Me If Things Improve

    People Are Not Very Supportive Of My Marital Separation. They Aren’t Happy For Me If Things Improve

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    I sometimes hear from people who are getting some hurtful feedback from those who are supposed to be “supporting” them during their marital separation. Sometimes, this so-called support comes from friends or family members. It can even come from the “support group” that you specifically joined in order to feel lifted up during your separation, which can be incredibly disappointing. Someone might say, “I did not really want to burden my family, friends, or coworkers with details about my separation. They know that I am separated, but I just don’t want to hear people’s personal opinions about my husband or my marriage. I am hoping to reconcile and so I don’t want to influence their opinions about my husband or about our relationship. However, I wanted a place to talk things through and to feel supported so I joined a support group for people going through a separation / divorce. The first week felt pretty good, but maybe that is because everyone was on their best behavior. I have to admit that the last few weeks, it really hasn’t gone well. I want to reconcile with my husband. I was looking for people who could identify with what I was going through to keep my spirits up while I was waiting to see what happened with my marriage. However, many of these people are getting ready to divorce and are quite bitter and angry. If I try to relay good news that happened between my husband and myself during the week, I sometimes get sarcastic comments. Someone might say ‘well, just wait. He’s just trying to be nice to you so that you’ll accept the divorce later.’ These type of comments are obviously not what I want to hear. I don’t mind expressing my fears, but I want people to try to talk me down or to help me look on the bright side. I don’t want people to tell me that the worst case scenario is going to happen or that all separations end in divorce. This is why I didn’t tell some friends and family, but now I am getting this with the support group. And yet, I know that I need support, so I am not sure what to do.”

    I can really identify with what you are saying. I told some people about my own separation and I really came to regret it. Some of my friends became really angry with my husband and never really got over it – even after we reconciled. By then, I’d long forgiven my husband, and I just wanted to move on. But some people wouldn’t let it go. The thing is, with some people, if you tell them your most personal issues, then you’d better be ready to talk about those same issues every single time that you talk with them because they want to keep bringing it up and picking the scab. That is why you have to be really careful about who you confide in. Some people will project their own experiences and fears onto your experience and obviously, this doesn’t help you. Just because there are people in the support group who may be headed for divorce, this does not mean that you will be. At some point, I just had to tell people who weren’t supportive that I valued their friendship, but that I needed to talk about something else. Then I sought support elsewhere.

    If you have not tried counseling, that is probably the very best option for support. They are trained professionals whose only job is to help you. They don’t know you outside of this and therefore are not going to let other things bleed into the reason for your being there. That is really the ideal scenario, but if you are resistant to counseling, then you have to pick your “trusted support person” carefully. If you truly feel that the support group isn’t going to improve, then you want to make sure that if you decide to end this support system, then you have already replaced it with a new and better one. Honestly, my ideal support person was not who I thought that it would be. It was someone from work who I did not know very well and perhaps that helped. She didn’t have all of the history with me that some of my other friends did. And she had separated and reconciled previously so she understood my thought process. Our interactions always left me feeling better, and not worse.

    I often journaled my feelings on weekends because I knew that I needed to get them out and didn’t have access to my best support person. I came to decide that I’d rather journal to release my feelings than to have unsupportive people make me feel worse.

    It’s important to remember that you can control who you allow to influence you. It’s possible to politely retreat when people aren’t understanding or supportive. It can be really important to surround yourself with positivity because it’s easy to get discouraged. And it’s very important to remember that people’s unsupportive reactions usually have more to do with their situation than with yours. They are projecting their own life and their own problems onto you, which just isn’t fair. If the support group isn’t providing the support that you need and is just making you feel worse, there’s nothing wrong with politely seeking support elsewhere. Because support is very important, but it can be tricky and difficult to find the right, objective person or group of people. At the same time, you don’t want to alienate family and friends, which is why it’s fine to just change the subject and ask to discuss something else.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Glossary of Youth: Its Education, Regimen, and Hygiene, by G. Stanley Hall

    Glossary of Youth: Its Education, Regimen, and Hygiene, by G. Stanley Hall

    GLOSSARY

    AGAMIC. Unmarried; unmarriageable, sometimes non-sexed.

    AGENIC. Lacking in reproductive power; sterile.

    AMPHIMIXIS. That form of reproduction which involves the mingling of substance from two individuals so as to effect a mixture of hereditary characteristics. It includes the phenomena of conjugation and fertilization among both unicellular and multicellular organisms.

    ANABOLISM. See METABOLISM.

    ANAMNESIC. Pertaining to or aiding recollection.

    ANEMIC. Deficient in blood; bloodless.

    ANTHROPOMORPHISM. The attributing of human characteristics to natural, supernatural, or divine beings.

    ANTHROPOMETRY. Science of measurement of the human body.

    ARTIFACT. Any artificial product.

    APHASIA. Impairment or lose of the ability to understand or use speech.

    ASSOCIATIONISM. The psychological theory which regards the laws of association as the fundamental laws of mental action and development.

    ATAVISTIC. Pertaining to reversion through the influence of heredity to remote ancestral characteristics.

    ATAXIC. Pertaining to inability to coördinate voluntary movements; irregular.

    CALAMO-PAPYRUS. Reed papyrus or pen-paper.

    CATABOLISM. See METABOLISM.

    CATHARSIS. Purgation or cleansing. Aristotle’s esthetic theory that little renders immune for much.

    CEREBRATION. Brain action, conscious or unconscious.

    CHOREA. St. Vitus’s dance; a nervous disease marked by irregular and involuntary movements of the limbs and face.

    CHRESTOMATHY. A collection of extracts and choice pieces.

    CHRISTENTHUM. The Christian belief; the spirit of Christianity.

    COMMANDO EXERCISES. Gymnastic exercises whose order is dependent upon the spoken command of the director.

    CORTEX. The gray matter of the brain, mostly on its surface.

    CORTICAL. Pertaining to the cortex.

    CRANIOMETRY. The measurement of skulls.

    CRYPTOGAMOUS. Having an obscure mode of fertilization; or, of plants that do not blossom.

    CULTUS. A system of religious belief and worship.

    DEUTSCHENTHUM. The spirit of the German people.

    DIATHESIS. A constitutional predisposition.

    EPHEBIC. Pertaining to the Greek system of instruction given to young men to fit them for citizenship; adolescent.

    EPIGONI. Successors; followers who only follow.

    EPISTEMOLOGY. The theory of knowledge; that branch of logic which undertakes to explain how knowledge is possible and to define its limitations, meaning, and worth.

    EUPEPTIC. Having good digestion.

    EUPHORIA. The sense of well-being; of fullness of life.

    EVIRATION. Emasculation; loss of manly characteristics.

    FERAL. Wild by nature; untamed; undomesticated.

    FORMICARY. An artificial ants’ nest.

    GEMÜTH. Disposition; the entire affective soul and its habitual state.

    HEBETUDE. Dullness; stupidity.

    HEDONISTIC. Relating to hedonism, that form of Greek philosophy which taught that pleasure is the chief end of existence.

    HETAERA. A Greek courtesan. This class was often highly trained in music and social art, and represented the highest grade of culture among Greek women.

    HETEROGENY. (1) The spontaneous generation of animals and vegetables, low in the scale of organization, from inorganic elements. (2) That kind of generation in which the parent, whether plant or animal, produces offspring differing in structure or habit from itself, but in which after one or more generations the original form reappears.

    HETERONOMOUS. Having a different name.

    HOROLOGY. The science of measuring time and of constructing instruments for that purpose.

    HYGEIA. The Greek goddess of health; health.

    HYPERMETHODIC. Methodic to excess; overmethodic.

    HYPERTROPHY. Excessive growth.

    INDISCERPTIBLE. Incapable of being destroyed by separation of parts.

    INHIBITION. Interference with the normal result of a nervous excitement by an opposing force.

    IRRADIATION. The diffusion of nervous stimuli out of the path of normal discharge which, as a result of the excitation of a peripheral end organ may excite other central organs than those directly connected with it.

    KINESOLOGICAL. Pertaining to the science of tests and measurements of bodily strength.

    KINESOMETER. An instrument for measuring muscular strength.

    MEDULLATION. The investment of nerve fibers with a protective covering or medullary sheath, consisting of white, fat-like matter.

    MERISTIC. Pertaining to the levels or spinal and cerebral segments of the body.

    METABOLISM. The act or process by which, on the one hand, dead food is built up into living matter—anabolism, and by which, on the other, the living matter is broken down into simpler products within a cell or organism—catabolism.

    METAMORPHOSIS. Change of form or structure; transformation.

    METEMPSYCHOSIS. The doctrine of the transmigration of the soul from one body to another.

    MONOPHRASTIC. Pertaining to or consisting of a single phrase.

    MONOTECHNIC. Pertaining to a single art or craft.

    MORPHOLOGY. The science of form and structure of plants and animals without regard to function.

    MYOLOGY. The scientific knowledge of the muscular system.

    MYTHOPOEIC. Producing or having a tendency to produce myths.

    NOETIC. Of, pertaining to, or conceived by, mind.

    NUANCE. Slight shade; difference; distinction; degree.

    ORTHOGENIC. Pertaining to right beginning and development.

    ORTHOPEDIC. Relating to the art of curing deformities.

    OSSUARY. A depository of dry bones.

    PALEOPSYCHIC. Pertaining to the antiquity of the soul.

    PANTHEISTIC. Relating to that doctrine which holds that the entire phenomenal universe, including man and nature, is the ever-changing manifestation of God, who rises to self-consciousness and personality only in man.

    PATRISTICS. That department of study occupied with the doctrines and writings of the fathers of the Christian Church.

    PHOBIA. Excessive or morbid fear of anything.

    PHYLETICALLY. In accordance with the phylum or race; racially.

    PHYLETIC. Pertaining to a race or clan.

    PHYLOGENY. The history of the evolution of a species or group; tribal history; ancestral development as opposed to ontogeny or the development of the individual.

    PHYLUM. A term introduced by Haeckel to designate the great branches of the animal and vegetable kingdoms. Each phylum may include several classes.

    PICKELHAUBE. The spiked helmet of the German army.

    PLANKTON. Sea animals and plants collectively; distinguished from coast or bottom forms and floating in a great mass.

    POLYGAMIC (LOVE). Pertaining to the habit of having more than one mate of the opposite sex.

    POLYPHRASTIC. Having many phrases; pertaining to rambling, incoherent speech.

    POST-SIMIAN. Pertaining to an age later than that in which simian or monkey-like forms prevailed.

    PRENUBILE. Pertaining to the age before sexual maturity or marriageability is reached.

    PRIE DIEU. A praying desk.

    PROPEDEUTIC. Preliminary; introductory.

    PROPHYLACTIC. Any medicine or measure efficacious in preventing disease.

    PSEUDOPHOBIAC. Pertaining to a morbid condition in which the subject is continually in fear of having said something not strictly true.

    PSYCHOGENESIS. The origin and development of soul.

    PSYCHONOMIC. Pertaining to the laws of mind.

    PSYCHOSIS. Mental constitution or condition; any change in consciousness, especially if abnormal.

    PUBERTY. The age of sexual maturity.

    PUBESCENT. Relating to the dawning of puberty.

    PYGMOID. Of pygmy size and form.

    RABULIST. A chronic wrangler; one who argues about everything.

    SCHEMA. A synopsis; a summary. In the Kantian sense, a general type.

    SCHEMATISM. An outline of any systematic arrangement; an outline.

    SUPERFOETATION. A second conception some time after a prior one, by which two foetuses of different age exist together in the same female. Often used figuratively.

    TEMIBILITY. (From Italian temibile, to be feared.) The principle of adjustment of penalty to crime in just that degree necessary to prevent a repetition of the criminal act.

    TIC. A nervous affection of the muscles; a twitching.

    TRANSCENDENTAL. In the Kantian system having an a priori character, transcending experience, presupposed in and necessary to experience.

    TRAUMATA. Wounds.

    TRAUMATISM. A wound; any morbid condition produced by wounds or other external violence.

    VERBIGERATION. The continual utterance of certain words or phrases at short intervals, without reference to their meaning, as seen in insane Gedankenflucht or rapid flight of thought.

    Extract from Youth: Its Education, Regimen, and Hygiene, by G. Stanley Hall

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  • Pregnancy and breastfeeding during an Ebola virus outbreak

    Pregnancy and breastfeeding during an Ebola virus outbreak

    Women who are pregnant or breastfeeding in an Ebola outbreak face similar challenges as other population groups, but they have specific health needs which must be met.

    As the second largest Ebola outbreak in history continues in the Democratic Republic of Congo, WHO has released new clinical guidelines for healthcare providers supporting pregnant or breastfeeding women in the context of Ebola virus disease.

    Improving clinical care and reducing mortality

    92-4-000138-1Clear and coherent guidance is needed to meet the combined needs of women requiring Ebola treatment, pregnancy care and management of complications.

    Information on how to protect breastfeeding children and other members in the community from transmission of the disease is also critical.

    Limited scientific evidence on how to best manage these needs has previously been a challenge for affected countries. In addition, misconceptions that pregnant women have a higher mortality rate than other populations with Ebola may in some contexts have put pregnant women at risk of not receiving standard care.

    WHO’s Guideline on the management of pregnant and breastfeeding women in the context of Ebola virus reviews existing evidence and provides a single set of recommendations on the care continuum for women exposed to, diagnosed with, or recovered from Ebola.

    This will enable healthcare providers, emergency response teams and health policy-makers to improve prevention and treatment measures in an Ebola outbreak.

    Obstetric care at an Ebola Treatment Centre

    Optimal supportive care should be offered to all pregnant women with Ebola. Likewise, they should be offered experimental treatment and vaccination under the same conditions as non-pregnant populations.

    Ebola virus disease does increase the risk of miscarriage and early labour, requiring close clinical management at Ebola treatment centres. It is important to engage both obstetric providers and those trained in Ebola response.

    This dual expertise is also important because early Ebola and pregnancy-related symptoms can overlap. Pregnant women should be prioritised for testing to confirm an Ebola infection.

    Ebola virus can persist in pregnancy related fluids as well as breastmilk. If healthcare providers are not clear on how to manage Ebola infection risk, they may be less willing to provide care. This stigma can be life-threatening for women who experience complications during delivery.

    The new WHO guidelines advise healthcare workers on how to protect themselves while caring for pregnant women with Ebola virus disease. This includes induced labour or surgical procedures, which carry greater risk of transmission in cases of acute infection. Any invasive treatments should be carried out in full personal protective equipment.

    Breastfeeding recommendations in an Ebola outbreak

    WHO recommends that women with suspected or confirmed Ebola immediately stop breastfeeding and are prioritised for diagnostic testing. Any child exposed to Ebola through breast milk should be placed into safe care, closely monitored for symptoms over a 21-day period and fed with an appropriate breast milk substitute.  

    The guidelines strongly recommend that breastfeeding is only restarted following two consecutive negative tests of breast milk, separated by 24 hours.

    A breast milk substitute should be used even if infection is confirmed for both the mother and her child. Exceptions can be made for infants under 6 months of age who are already infected, if breast milk substitutes are not feasible, affordable, sustainable or safe and separation cannot be implemented safely.

    Women’s health and rights in a disease outbreak

    A disease outbreak does not change women’s and adolescent girls’ fundamental human right to sexual and reproductive healthcare, including evidence-based care during pregnancy and childbirth.

    Women need support to make informed reproductive health care choices for themselves and their children. Women living in an Ebola outbreak should have access to all relevant reproductive options, regardless of economic, cultural, racial or religious status, including contraception and safe abortion to the full extent of the law.

    Pregnant and breastfeeding women across affected communities need equitable and respectful care that considers the risks they face and supports the choices they make.

    Accessing the guidelines and further research

    These guidelines are now available online and may be freely downloaded. The executive summary will be available in French.

    WHO will closely monitor new data as it emerges, as there is still a pressing need to prioritise ongoing research related to Ebola virus transmission.

     

     

     

    Pregnancy and breastfeeding during an Ebola virus outbreak
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    https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/10-02-2020-pregnancy-and-breastfeeding-during-an-ebola-virus-outbreak

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  • Mad Max: Fury Road Relationship Between Max and Furiosa

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    Mad Max Fury Road is a story that involves two people by the name Max and Furiosa who are held captive and are trying to escape from Hamlet. Max is suffering outrageous fortunes but he is learning from the fortunes while Furiosa has decided to oppose her troubles by taking arms against the leaders of Hamlet. The two characters cannot trust each other at first but due to their circumstances they are forced to rely on each other. Love is humanized in the film where much deeper conventions of love are stricken. Max is a loner and a survivor who has been traumatized in a world where people see him as a blood bag. On the contrary Furiosa is scheming a plan to help five women who have been enslaved in Hamlet. Max does not trust Furiosa and in most parts of the film he holds a gun on her.

    In the middle of these desperate attempts to escape from their chasers Max and Furiosa are forced to depend on each other. In many love stories people fall in love due to opportunities provided by circumstances. The alignment of stars and personal chemistry makes this happen. Every step of the relationship between Max and Furiosa is dictated by their circumstances where the only choice they are left with is to depend and rely on each other and to trust each other in order to escape. In a critical scene Furiosa asks Max his name but he refuses to tell her. In the end Max finally tells Furiosa his name where there are significant happenings throughout the film. These moments appear and vanish in the film through chaos and apocalyptic alienation. Max and Furiosa form an alliance where they try to fight motorcycles that are shooting at them. He leaves her to go to a mission which may be fatal but fears no one would notice if he dies in the mission. Max talks Furiosa out of a suicide mission when he says “you know hope is a mistake”. Max eventually decides hope is not a mistake and went back to Furiosa where he joins her and they plan to oppose the forces against them.

    At the end of the film Max does not stay with Furiosa but he leaves and eventually disappears into the crowd. A modern viewer can resonate with this film in that modern man is alienated from himself, from the world and from fellow men. Everyone is alone, with a deep sense of insecurity, guilt and anxieties which are results of separation that cannot be overcome. Like Max lost his identity in the opening moments, man has lost his identity too, and is overcome by powerful forces that own him. Like Furiosa man tries to search for a community and the only thing he finds is a desert.

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    Source by Jeremiah Otieno Odhiambo

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  • Why Do You Need an Attorney for Marital Arrangements and Settlements?

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    It is very unfortunate, when you are on the verge to sign a divorce agreement. But in spite of the emotional breakdown, you have to be caution before signing any agreement of settlement framed by the attorney of your spouse. If you do not agree with the settlements mentioned in the drafts, do not sign, rather look forward to hire a prolific divorce lawyer who is famous in handling most critical divorce cases.

    What are the qualities your attorney must have?

    Before hiring a divorce attorney to defend you for the case make sure that the legal professional and qualified enough to handle such critical case. Hence, it is recommended to hire a lawyer from a known countenance.

    If you have to appoint the legal practitioner without any reference, go through the website of the expert. Check the testimonials and the area of expertise. Moreover, check the reviews of the lawyer and how many successful marital agreement and settlement cases he/she has handled? Checking the license of the lawyer is also suggested.

    If you want to stay confident about all the mentioned pointers, consult a reputed attorney or a well-known solicitor firm that has the strong background of defending marital separation and settlement cases.

    Hire an attorney to write the agreement

    Often the departing married couples decide their own terms and depending on that they try to write their own agreements. But it is strongly recommended that even for a mutual agreement settlement you should afford a lawyer. These legal masterminds have the expertise to draft the lines with the legal twist that covers everything that have been decided among the divorcing couples. Often the self-drafted papers look vague and unclear. Moreover, the opponent can take advantage of the unclear data and blackmail the other spouse in future. This can also call for another case. Hence, to stay away from all such anticipated debaucheries, it is better to hire a lawyer and get him/her write the agreement.

    Handling the agreement of child custody

    The children of the separating parents have to go through several traumas and troublesome time. Therefore, lawyers of both the parties and the court are compassionate about such separation cases. Usually, the children are handed over to that parent who is more responsible and economically stable to take care of the kids. Some unfortunate cases have also witnessed where both the parents are not interested to take their children. During this critical situation, the court takes care of the kids and they are handed over to homes. But if your case is different and you want to fight for your kids, you need to hire an experienced lawyer that can ensure that the children will be will you.

    Therefore, before signing the agreement of the custody let your Attorney read the drafts thoroughly so that you may not be misguided or cheated by the opponent about the custody of your kids.

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    Source by Garfield Langmuir Logan

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  • Marital Discord in Astrology

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    People normally say that a marriage has been settled in haven and is performed at the earth. It is seen that a married person is leading a very peaceful, prosper and comfortable life, but many are such who are weeping over married life and consequent upon this tension. All these are because of mismatch and adverse compatibility.

    Marital discord is a universal problem all over the world. The reasons can be many including the economical, lack of physical and psychological compatibility, extra-marital relationships, aggressive attitudes, selfish nature, over ambitions etc.

    Astrology can accurately reveal the ins and outs of human life, and therefore, can advice beneficially. Definitely, it has immense value, for astrology can give true guidance and advice regarding one’s marriage.

     

    Basic Factors Responsible for Marital Discord

     

    ·       Strength of ascendant

     

    ·       Moon—revels the desires of human mind

     

    ·       Venus—revels sexual appetite, love, desire, and happiness

     

    ·       Mars—assists in strengthening the sexual instincts in the ease of marriage or to help to establish sexual relationship.

     

    ·       Jupiter—significator of husbands for women

     

    ·       Sun/Saturn/Rahu— fiery, separative in nature

     

    ·       2nd house—denotes family

     

    ·       5th house — love affairs and marriage following intercourse

     

    ·       7th house— stands for love and matrimony,

     

    Wife/husband/law suits, partnerships.

     

     Different Combination for Marital Discord

    ·       Weakness of 2nd /7th houses because of planets present in the house or the lords of house are

     

    1.   Malefic in nature

     

    2.   Inauspicious placement of lords

     

    3.   Combust

     

    4.   Debilitated

     

    5.   Are in infancy or old -age state

     

    6.   Afflicted by functional malefic nodes [Rahu/Ketu]

     

    7.   Sandwiched between malefic planets

     

    ·       2nd /7th houses or their lords afflicted by the separative planet like Sun/Saturn/Rahu.

     

    ·       6/8 placement of 1st/7th lords—separation/divorce/break of agreement.

     

    ·       If lords of 1st/ 7th/2nd and Venus are occupying unfavourable houses/combust/debilitated/in enemy sign misfortune will happen after marriage.

     

    ·       Venus and Mercury in 7th house make a person of loose morals and drag to have extra marital relations.

     

    ·       Mars when debilitated and forming relationship with 1st/7th houses or their lords, make the person aggressive and ill tempered.

     

    ·       Node or Rahu/Ketu joining closely Mars makes native/spouse stray and that becomes the reasons for the discord.

     

    ·       The ascendant/Moon of husband/wife in inimical signs sows the seeds of inharmonious relations.

     

    ·       Afflicted or weak Jupiter shows selfish nature of married partner.

     

    ·       6/8 placement of Venus and Moon denotes disputes in love and marriage.

     

    ·       Aspect of at least two retrograde planets on 1st/7th houses/lords.

     

    ·       Saturn and Rahu/Mars and Rahu/Sun and Mars combinations afflicts 1st/7th denotes disputes and discords.

     

    ·       8th/12th lords occupy 3rd house, and 7th house with nods/malefic planets, divorce or separation takes place. 

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    Source by Geeta Jha

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  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

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    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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    Source by Mandy Peterson

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