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Women And Self-Confidence – Healing Women's Insecurity Issues Today

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Sound like a latte-in-the-sky dream? I mean the kind that could never happen in this lifetime?

Today, all that ends.

Let some new confidence with women understanding begin inside you, and beautiful begin being who you are to the core.

This program for women and self-confidence is exactly the kind of community of women friends you should meet. Its specialty is helping women exactly like you.

Heal those old wounds so you can break free from the past.

Stop feeling insecure and overwhelmed by other people's demands.

Pick up those shattered pieces of women's insecurity issues sitting around in your soul, heart and life and build something stunning and gorgeous with them.

It's like the Course in Miracles states, "Do not be afraid to look within you."

If you keep on beating yourself up OR ignoring it and hoping it will all solve itself, you can't pull yourself together.

Unleash the confident, Got-It-Together, GORGEOUS and RADIANT woman you were MEANT to BE.

There is nothing that feels better than having the total life confidence needed to be your real, luminous self.

It makes a woman undeniably gorgeous, and you don't have to be a super model here to be a confident woman.

It is life miracles of the highest order, and you deserve lots and lots of that!

Get YOUR life miraculously going again!

In a previous session I discussed other topics like how to realize more beauty and experience healthy weight loss without paying a fortune for a weight loss program.

And, imagine being able to turn the heads of men (AND women) as you walk into a room, radiating COMPLETE confidence and allowing your inner goddess to glow.

What if I told you that the universe is waiting to give you OCEANS of love?

Wave after wave of it!

A drenching, nourishing, sea of it!

You've built an emotional sea-wall that won't let it get to you, and here's the Truth:

Spark some sizzling hot romance EVEN if your relationship is flat-out boring right now (It takes mere SECONDS to put this to work for you …).

When you feel loved and confident

Don't deny your beautiful heart any longer. Unleash the miracle power of love in your life!

Yes, you can indeed change your love life and everything else, from PESSIMISTIC to PASSIONATE in a heartbeat.

You have what it takes to feel the POWER to go after your dreams, and you naturally ATTRACT the man of your dreams.

And if you're already in a relationship, you can build the kind of life together that most people only dream of.

Dating and relationships are so much easier (and fun!) Once you FINALLY start accepting love.

When you can FINALLY allow for to be given you love unapologetically from the world that's when your life and your relationships start to miraculously transform and you release all those women's insecurity issues.

Extend your inner beauty!

Begin right now in this instant to EFFORTLESSLY accept every kind of good and beautiful love into your life.

When women's insecurity issues have your life split apart in pieces all over the place, it's easy to feel defeated.

When frustration hooks up with unworthiness and they have a child called I AM SO TERRIBLY OVERWHELMED, confidence with women is difficult.

You know what I mean?

Wouldn't it be nice if you could let go of women's insecurity issues and get the JOY and BEAUTY of a woman who has her act together, as easily as ordering a latte with your BFF at your favorite coffee shop?

(Please note I always suggest searching the net for related material on how a woman with no dreams for the future can TODAY become a stronger confident woman.)

To your inner beauty shining forth!

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Source by James Nussbaumer

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Two Relationship Killers
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Consider a primary relationship in your life where you love someone and they love you. This could be an intimate partnership, a child-parent relationship or a very close friendship. Here are the two things to avoid, if you want to make sure love is present at all times.

Relationship killer #1:

Firstly, you should never expect that because someone loves you, they need to sacrifice themselves for you and put your needs first. We often mistakenly think that the degree to which someone suffers is a testimony for the amount of love they have for us. Likewise, we mistakenly believe that if someone puts their needs first, they don’t love us. But that is not true at all. If I refuse to sacrifice myself for you, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It simply means I am clear on what works for me and what doesn’t, and I don’t mess with my own needs. Please don’t take this personal. I love you nonetheless, but I certainly don’t have to suffer in order to prove my love for you. Besides, if you doubt it, chances are no matter how much I suffer, you will never believe me anyway. Get this: your partner having fun while you are in hardship doesn’t mean they don’t love you. The people who love you don’t owe you any suffering on their part whenever things are not working out for you. So don’t be jealous when your loved one is out with friends while you are working hard or cooking alone at home. No one needs to put their own life on hold only because yours is (even when they truly love you!). Of course, you can ask for support. That’s perfectly reasonable. But asking someone to sacrifice themselves and to suffer so you can feel loved – that is totally unreasonable. And it is a sure relationship killer.

Relationship killer #2:

The other way to kill a relationship is by trying to prove your love for someone by sacrificing your own needs and suffering as a consequence. See, whenever you suffer, there is no real love to speak of. If you were doing something for someone because you wanted to and because you loved them unconditionally, you wouldn’t be suffering. But if you sacrifice yourself out of obligation and/or guilt, the unconditional love is gone and you are likely to expect something in return. In other words, you try to manipulate someone into loving you back by doing things for them which they then have to repay you for. Sadly enough, you are playing a game thinking you can control someone else’s feelings and buy their love. Of course, the result is just the opposite – you are slowly but surely killing the relationship. So stop that immediately by starting to put yourself and your needs first. Find your own truth and start honoring it. Understand that you are allowed to have a good time without feeling guilty when your partner does not want to or cannot participate. Of course, you can support them when they are feeling low. But you don’t have to suffer with them or else you will become resentful and kill the relationship as a result.

In conclusion:
- Love should be free – no attachments, no suffering, no trading of favors, and no feelings of obligation and guilt.
- Love should be independent – I love you and I put myself first; you love me and you put yourself first; we love each other and we honor our independent needs nonetheless.
- Love should be by choice – I love you how I want to, not how I feel have to.
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Source by Vyara Bridgeman

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July 26, 2022
Emotional Labour – Organisational Behaviour

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Abstract:

Putting on a good show, keeping face, professionalism in customer treatment can all be examples of emotional labour. When in the workplace dealing with others whether they be colleagues or customers we tend to give a positive emotional response despite the negativity of the other person (customer complaint) or our own current mood state (sadness, irritability) known as emotional dissonance. In this paper we will explore the phenomenon of emotional labour and its effect on workers productivity and social relations. The general outcome being that the strain of that dissonance creates mental health problems in the workplace.

Introduction:

Emotional labour can be seen as the affect of the current mood of a worker whilst engaging in interactions with others – putting on a good face for example despite feeling emotionally uncomfortable. (1. Robins/Judge 2013) These emotions can be driven by organisational expectations of an employees behaviour towards customers, clients and co-workers in support of the business goals to profit. For example in the service industry, customer complaints should be handled with a polite professional smiling attitude so that the customer perceives that their complaints are receiving serious attention. Despite the fact the service provider (customer relations officer) maybe be in a personal bad mood, have life problems or employment concerns – all this is swept aside to provide the company’s public positive image to the customer. For the employee engaged in such activities the strain of appearing positive and enthusiastic may cause both physical and emotional strain often leading to further deterioration in mood after work and in between assignments. You could argue that a good deal of the time we are in fact faking our emotions (feelings) in front of and towards others to support social conventions for example being polite. If a customer’s complaint is unreasonable, they are showing anger, accusing the company or misleading them and selling shoddy products – the company service support worker must maintain control over their own emotions despite feeling that the customer is wrong and the complaint is unwarranted or even ridiculous they still have to maintain the company driven reaction to the customer with calm professionalism. (2. Myler – Case Studies 2018) Some companies make being happy at work almost mandatory – where staff entertain, create an atmosphere or encourage excitement over the product and its associated feelings of happiness. For example, theme park staff forced to smile all day – try it yourself – it is very stressful to keep a happy demeanor in the face of disgruntled visitors waiting hours in a queue for a five minute ride or the phone shop worker being asked to entertain the queue of waiting customers with hi-fives and silly games. (3. Grandey et.al. 2010) Many customers in fact reporting discomfort at being targeted for unwanted attention and interaction). Therefore there is a difference between felt emotions (what I am actually thinking and feeling) than with displayed emotions (what is expected of me). After an interaction the employee can feel both exhausted by the forced situation and emotionally angry at faking their feelings for the benefit of others. Many people who suffer from depression report that faking happiness is the biggest strain of the day.

Culture and Emotional Labour

Culture may impact on how someone sees emotional labour as the expectations of others in the light of social comparison. (4. Matsumoto etal. 2009) For example many American service jobs, such as retail staff, service providers and customer interaction workers all feel that a positive upbeat smiling enthusiastic person is a definite requirement for the companies image management. The monocor – have a nice day – often rings false in the ears of those who understand this is not a genuine sentiment but a practiced social grace. In other cultures such as Japan or Asia in general – forced politeness or deference to not displaying emotions may in fact cause particular strain on everyday life where displaced emotion can be seen in acts of violence and sexual deviance. The French tend to not display openness in dealing with customers but in fact a non-smiling or even impolite attitudes towards their clients. This can cause companies dealing in global markets problems with staff in having to adapt and understand policy in line with the cultural underlying expectations of behaviour.

Mental Health

Many psychologists, counsellors and others such as nurses encounter patients (clients) who maybe presenting mental health problems such as anxiety (worry about future events) or depression (living with the past) that report difficulties in the work place in faking their emotions towards both colleagues and customers – that they feel the strain of the day at home later through irritability, sexual indifference a lack of appetite and sleep. Keeping up appearances at work therefore effects the very quality of our lives both in and out of the work place. (5. Myler Case Studies 2018) Dealing with difficult people whether customers or colleagues leaves us feeling exhausted physically and mentally. In therapy the psychologist maybe searching for psycho-dynamic reasons for the negative feelings from past patterns of behaviour and often miss the power of the here and now effect of faking your feelings at work simply due to enforced company policies that require us to present an image of well- being and happiness that actually is not there. Treatment therefore should focus on workplace stress rather than personal history.

Role Play & Emotional Labour:

Of course we are schooled from an early age in how to act given certain social situations, for example being happy at a birthday party ( don’t spoil it for everyone) to look sad at the funeral (even when we did not even like the deceased). We have learned behavior for situational displays of affect. Have you ever been told off – criticised – looked at the person with a smile on your face – and they say, “what are you smiling at?” they think you are not taking them seriously enough, acknowledging their concerns – the truth maybe that we think their remarks are unwarranted and silly – however our learned correct response is to – look serious and be intently listening – while all the time inside feeling what an idiot this person is! In other words we are often asked to fake it – for the sake of the other persons feelings – this is often seen as high empathy when in fact it is more often just a learned reaction to a situational event. Emotional intelligence is seen a as a panacea for management effectiveness but maybe little more than learned responses to situations, rather than a genuine cognitive response to some event. In other words emotional intelligence maybe more pop psychology than a fact. Measurement for emotional understanding may reflect no more about the learned response to given situations we have come to understand through cultural, generational and traditional customs of our community or group behaviour. Psychometric tests for emotional intelligence may in fact be invalid and not robust enough to provide any useful measure of a persons feelings towards others but in fact reflect that learned behaviour – what should be the response not what I actually feel inside.

Attributions Theory – Misunderstanding Others:

Attribution theory ( 6. Heider – 1958) suggests that we attend to what we see more than what we know. In other words – we do in fact judge a book by its cover. So if we are busy faking our emotions so must everyone else? So how do we know that the mood being displayed to us is genuine or faked. We pride ourselves on being able to know others feeling by their facial expressions, there seemingly genuineness and authentic sounding responses. In fact much of the time we maybe reacting to the faked emotion rather than the real one. We are often surprised to hear someone committed suicide – we may say – they always seemed so positive and happy looking – but that is exactly what a mis-attribution is – the lack of skills to identify a real emotion from a faked one – we are actually quite good at emotional labour at work and so do we really know what anyone is actually feeling, as opposed to what they are displaying to us. So the helpful shop assistant may in fact be bored rigid at having to seem enthusiastic about a product she has already spoken about ten times that day already.

In Summery:

Emotional labour is a situation where the employee expresses the companies desired response to a given situation. Emotional dissonance are our feeling of confusion between our internal feelings and the face we put upon the situation given company policy towards others. Felt emotions therefore being what we actually feel as opposed to displayed emotion being the faked response to another person. Finally emotional intelligence being no more than learned responses to events as we behave given the situation we find ourselves in. The consequences of faked emotions can be strain leading to emotional exhaustion that has both physical and emotional outcomes for mental health and general well-being. Judging others may in fact lead to mis-attributions where we think the faked emotion is in fact the real feelings of the other party.

To be honest, open and authentic would be real intimacy in our relationships but carries the high risk of rejection and misunderstandings.

References:

1. Robins S.P. Judge T.A. 2013 – Organizational Behavior 15Ed Pearson Publishing

2. Myler S.F. 2018 – Myler Case Studies 2018/19 Unpublished

3. Grandey A. et.al. 2010 – Work in the Global Services Economy – Journal of Service Management.

4. Matsumoto D. 2009 – Culture & Emotional Expression – New York, Taylor & Francis publishing.

5. Myler S. F. 2019 – Myler Case Studies 2019 Unpublished

6. Heider F 1958 – Attribution Theory – Oxford Dictionary of Psychology 2001

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Source by Stephen F. Myler

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July 26, 2022
Am I Ordained To Marry?

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One common question people ask us during counseling is whether they are ordained to marry or not. Few weeks ago, a sister walked up to me to ask if she was ordained to marry or not. I asked why she thought so. She said, her pastor taught them that it is written in Matthew 19:12 that some people were made to be eunuchs and therefore, not everyone is expected to marry. And now she was worried because of the series of disappointments she had experienced in her relationships. When I asked her whether they were equally taught how to differentiate between both groups she said that was why she came to ask me. I said she should have gone to her pastor to ask but she said she would not because they were more interested in how many souls they had won to Christ than their marital plans.

Her vehement refusal to go to her pastor for counsel was a clear indication that she had gone through some elements of frustration. I don’t know how many people are in the same situation today. All I know is that someone will be free from this bondage today.

Before I address the core issue, let me tell you that Christianity is a balanced relationship. The same God that says he that wins a soul is wise also says marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral, (Hebrew 13:4 NIV). The practice of holding back mature adults in church from marriage because you don’t want to lose them to other churches or distract them from actively engaging in church growth is unbalanced and unhealthy for the growth you desire. Marriage is an honor before God. It brings glory to God. Anyone that desires to marry should be encouraged before they begin to defy themselves right under your pulpit.

My counsel is that while encouraging them to continue winning souls they should also be counseled on the right way to find the right kind of spouse and the right way to marry. Teach them to let their marriage become a plus to the church instead of minus. If you alone could chase one thousand souls, let you and your spouse join in marriage to chase after ten thousand souls.

Matthew 19:12 says: ” For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it let him receive it.”

The above scripture clearly defines the three categories of eunuchs. Our point of emphasis here shall be on those born eunuchs from their mothers’ womb. The other two are those forced into it and those that became so by their choice.

When God created man in His image and likeness, He decreed that he should go into the world and multiply. That declaration is for you and me. The only approved way to achieve this multiplication is to marry legally and keep the matrimonial bed holy. You don’t need an angel to whisper into your ears that it is time to marry. The rules are there in the bible. That is not our focus for today anyway.

Take example from Abraham, the father of faith. He didn’t need any prophecy to discern whether his son Isaac, needed a wife or not. All he needed was simple wisdom drawn from the Word of God. God told him during his call that through him the earth shall be populated with His new generation of children. He settled it in his mind to get a wife for Isaac to make that calling and purpose come to fruition. At the appointed time, he sent his servant, Eleazar to go to his kindred to get a wife for Isaac. You know the rest of the story in Genesis chapter twenty-four.

God designed man with all the features required to perform all that He wants him to do on earth in the same way a manufacturer will not put his products in the market place without the inbuilt features to function. Signs of puberty, sexual emotions and strong attraction towards the opposite sex are some indicators that you are ordained to marry. When His due season is near, He begins to impress His desires in your spirit for onward transmission to these dormant sexual potentials in you and suddenly you will awaken to certain pressure in that direction. The bible says, ” it is God who works in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure”, Philippians 2:13. Marriage is one of the good things that bring pleasure to God. When you start feeling the urge or willingness to get married just know God has begun this good work in you. Anybody that has this urge or desire to marry is one of those God has ordained to marry. Period!

To become a eunuch or to marry is your choice. God has given you the free will to decide it. He will not choose or impose any one on you. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because he wanted to use his life to serve God and not because God said he should not. His case should not become a doctrine to dissuade people from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives. He even admonished anyone that is unable to bear it to marry instead of burning in lust. If you choose to live a life of celibacy or choose to marry as you have desired, God is pleased with you. Do not allow previous disappointments dissuade you or make you start thinking that it might be that you are among the chosen eunuchs. You are ordained! If things are not working well, find out what you have not been doing right, keep correcting and working on yourself so God can connect you with the right kind of spouse.

However, it does not mean you should rush into anyone because God has willed it so for you. There is period to find the right kind of spouse and there is time for preparation. My stake here is to let you know that these signs put you in the category God has ordained to marry. You do belong to the group of those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb.

Parents should watch out for these signs in their children and wards. When these signs begin to show up, it is a signal to parents to start preparing their children or wards for the next phase of their lives. Unfortunately, many parents and guardians around these children do not always prepare them on time, and sometimes they misdirect them through wrong information. We owe the upcoming generation this responsibility as guardians. Those who fail at this level of parenting always regret it because late stitches steal real good time.

Those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb do not have and will never have the urge to get married because they do not have the features in them. I do not mean those incapacitated by sickness, diseases and infirmities like down syndromes, depression or paralysis. These are healthy and virile folks who are repugnant to the site of the opposite sex. They never have any amorous feelings towards the opposite sex even when they are both nude in a secret room.

Whether we choose to marry, remain single or born incapacitated, it does not make us sinners or better before God. He loves all of us equally, but it will please Him to see us fulfill His desires for us. I have cleared the obstacles before you. The onus is now on you to decide what you want. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because it was his choice. Apostle Peter did not divorce his wife because of God’s work, yet God accepted them all. Decide your case by yourself.

Remain Blessed!

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Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

Views: 0

July 25, 2022
Wisdom For Living

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Do you have wisdom? Wisdom is the key to successful living on earth. Lack of it is to be groping in the dark and be surrounded by great woes, wailing and destruction. Wisdom makes the difference between success and failure, life and death, poverty and prosperity, health and sickness. Possession of wisdom is to possess life.

“I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge and discretion… I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me. Riches and honor are with me, enduring riches and righteousness… The Lord possessed me at the beginning of His way, before His works of old… Then I was beside Him as a master craftsman; and I was daily His delight, rejoicing always before Him… – Proverbs 8:12, 17-18, 22, 30 (NKJV).

The Lord founded the earth by wisdom (Proverbs 3:19) and so man needs wisdom to be able to occupy her successfully. Wisdom is the principal thing to possess in order to enjoy living on earth. Every challenge in life is basically a wisdom problem and to have wisdom for any challenge is to have 50% of it solved.

Wisdom was God’s master craftsman in creation. He utilized wisdom to successfully create all we see, use and enjoy. With wisdom you have prudence, knowledge and discretion; a complete package that will help you not to stumble or make mistakes in your words and action.

The choices you make are measures of the wisdom available to you. The more the wisdom you acquire the better your choices and the outcomes you get. It is your responsibility to go for wisdom in all areas of your life. You need wisdom to live a victorious Christian life and also to live every phase of your life very well and remarkably: as a child, student, worker, spouse, parent, friend, leader, neighbour, colleague, group member, boss, employee and client. The list can go on and on. Your level of wisdom will affect your relationship with others and so is important that you possess it.

Your tomorrow is a product of your application of wisdom today. The wisdom seeds you plant today grow and add up to give you a glorious future. The wisdom steps you take today will take you to your ultimate peak tomorrow. The prize you pay today to get wisdom cannot be compared to the returns that will come to you in future. The outcome of wisdom is worth all you have to put in or sacrifice to get it. The success of your life depends on it, so go for the wisdom for living.

The word of God (The bible), which is the bag of wisdom seeds, has all the wisdom you need to live a triumphant life on this earth. Search the word for them, for whoever finds wisdom finds life and obtains favour from God.

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Source by Ngozi Nwoke

Views: 0

July 25, 2022
ACN Multi Level Marketing Business: An Inside Look

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If you are thinking about beginning your personal ACN Multi Level Marketing business then take a few minutes to read this article as you are going to find it valuable.

Starting your own home business could possibly be just what you and your family need to finally take control of your time and finances. But if done incorrectly it could also be a full waste time, energy and cash.

So what exactly are those things that tends to make such a difference? What do you need to know to guarantee you may make a considerable income using the ACN multilevel marketing model. Let's take a closer look.

An Evaluation of the Company

The ACN business model is not totally distinct from other network marketing systems. The company delivers a wide range of well-liked consumable products that the majority of ordinary people use each day.

All you have to do earn commissions is promote these products to people you know and others you identify as wanting or are in need of them. To build a strong business you will want to go on and recruit a team of other people from whose sales you will also earn commissions.

As a company the ACN multi level marketing business is doing very nicely. ACN (American Communication Network) sells internet services, telecommunications services, wireless, and utilities. It is also rated in the list of the top 20 direct marketing companies in the United states by the Direct Promoting Association.

ACN was founded in 1992 by Robert Stevanovski, Greg Provenzano and two twin brothers Mike and Tony Cupisz. The network marketing side of the business was officially launched in 1993 with 20 founding front line distributors. It has because grown to serve 23 countries ranging from North America, Europe, Asia along with the Pacific.

This doesn't necessarily mean that this business opportunity is appropriate for you.

The Business Plan Revealed

Even if you only realize the basic fundamentals of business you understand that in order to get a business to make money, they should sell products. In order for an independent distributor to earn income and make a living you will have to do exactly the same – sell products.

Have you thought about how you will go about promoting ACN's particularly specialized menu of services? Keep in mind, in order to create an excellent living you are going to need to sell a lot of them!

Behind each and every network marketing opportunity is the promise of earning a long-term residual income by creating a sizable team of distributors. From this team you, will earn a little commission off of their time and work.

The concept is that each team member will do a bit of work which will altogether add up as a large volume of sales. This sounds excellent in theory, nevertheless, does this realistically happen?

Promoting your Opportunity

Most people who get involved in MLM do not make their initial investment back. The reason for this is not because the business, services or compensation plans are flawed.

The main reason is not obtaining the sales or marketing training to effectively promote and convert to sales. This lack of training can hold you back because simply put MLM (multi level marketing) is really a direct marketing business.

To combat this problem once you join MLM companies advise you to make a list of all the people you know – family, friends, co-workers, associates, colleagues, etc. You will then need to contact the people on your list to introduce the products, services and business opportunity.

This tends to make sense. But what happens once you run out of the people on your list? Now what?

Learning the best way to market properly and effectively may be the crucial to creating a lucrative ACN multi level marketing business. When burn through your list of family friends and colleagues you need to have a plan in place to consistently obtain new people to introduce your business to.

Not planning to do this can cause failure in your business and shattering your dreams. Fail to plan and you plan to fail.

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Source by Merv Stevens

Views: 0

July 25, 2022
Learn How to Cultivate Self-Discipline As a Success Mindset

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Do you understand the connection between what you think and the success you experience, or do not experience, in your job or career? If you could learn to discipline your thoughts towards an attitude of success, do you believe it is possible you could in turn become successful?

There is a well-known phrase that talks about the importance of working smarter and while there are many interpretations of what it can mean, overall it is meant to emphasize the benefits of being focused, disciplined, and working hard. Hard work is the backbone of any career but over time, and when routine work habits are established and set in, the effort that a person exerts may become conditionally based. It could be due to a person’s perception of a “bad” boss, poor working conditions, not receiving a pay increase or recognition for their effort, and the list continues. While there may certainly be merit to these feelings, it serves no real purpose to make working hard a conditional characteristic of your job performance.

If you care about your career development then working hard needs to be a top priority every day. However, hard work may seem unjustified if a person’s expectations are not being met and that is where self-discipline comes into play. It is a matter of always being in control of your performance and responsible for the quality of your work. It also involves making a commitment to yourself and your career, one that is not dependent upon circumstances or influenced by circumstance no matter how challenging it may seem at the time. This will allow you to become disciplined and know that your best performance depends upon consistent effort, which establishes a mindset of career success.

Why Self-Discipline Matters

The development of a disciplined mindset allows you and your job performance to shine; whereas, the lack of intentional discipline sets you up for failure. Self-discipline is based upon a logical and rational perspective, is focused on being in control, and prompts the use of productive work habits. It is proactive with regards to job duties and career development, and it requires concentrated effort rather than striving to achieve absolute perfection.

Without self-discipline a person is more likely to be impulsive and unfocused, act based upon emotional responses, and be reactive to circumstances. It is easy to begin to work on becoming self-disciplined, whether or not it is a habit now, if you start by establishing an intention and make it a goal to perform your best at all times. It does not require prolonged struggle, only career goals. You can make choices based upon what is best for your job and/or career. Self-discipline involves maintaining control over your attitude, mindset, emotions, and thoughts at all times.

Discipline and Doing Your Best

Your job has a specific description, or at least an expectation of what it is you are supposed to accomplish. Over time, and as you become familiar with the daily tasks, you can determine what the minimum amount of effort is needed to complete the required duties and that may be enough for you to feel good when the workday ends. Then there are circumstances that influence the amount of effort you put in. There may be too much work, an upcoming deadline, or person in authority who is pressuring you to take on more work. You may willingly or grudgingly do more as requested; however, when you stop to consider this job do you realize it is your career at stake?

The attitude you develop about your job will also influence the attitude you have about your career development and progress. If your job performance involves putting in the minimal effort it is usually accompanied by feelings of job dissatisfaction and that may create a negative mindset about your career. It means you view your effort from the perspective of what you get from the job rather than what you can gain from it in the long term. When you are disciplined you maintain behaviors and an attitude that bolsters your daily productivity, which also provides you with the confidence needed to excel even when circumstances are less than perfect.

Learn to Develop Purposeful Intent

How do you feel good about a job and maintain that attitude, even when circumstances cause you to dislike it? You cannot force yourself to feel positive emotions when there are events or people who prompt negativity or feelings of frustration. What you can do is to change your perspective and that is where self-discipline matters. You can decide that you are going to feel good about yourself as a professional or as an employee despite the current conditions and anchor it to a position statement that is focused on your career goals. This allows you to create a disciplined mindset with purposeful intent and focus.

Your career is a series of steps and progress will occur over time and for some it will be accomplished through more than one position or job. At the heart of this is you as a person, and it is you who has an ability to learn and grow. With purposeful intent you can view each job as a stepping stone, which provides skills, knowledge, and direction. If one job does not meet your expectations or provides difficult conditions to work in, itemize what you have gained from it, list this information on your resume, and decide upon your next step. But no matter what, always make certain you have a disciplined focus or you will venture off course in your job and career plans.

Consider How an Employer Views Your Disposition

Consider for a moment that you are a hiring manager. What is the type of candidate you would consider hiring, if you were looking at more than the job description? Is it someone whose tone displays obvious frustration and does not seem to have much to say that is positive about their current employer or existing job? That is not a likely candidate for an employer based upon their attitude alone.

Now consider a candidate who comes along and has a professional presence, demonstrates a clear understanding of their career path or goals, and can articulate what they have gained from each of the jobs they’ve held throughout their career. That is a candidate who will likely gain your interest, even if they are not considered for the position, because they have demonstrated a disciplined mindset.

The point of reviewing these scenarios is to show the contrast between someone who possesses an underlying feeling of career helplessness or career control, which also demonstrates the difference between a disciplined and undisciplined mindset. If would like to be the candidate who is likely to get hired, establish a goal to be highly disciplined and productive.

Your disposition will carry over into the tone you convey when you speak with potential employers, along with your overall attitude about career development. As a professional resume writer I can spot a person’s disposition through their choice of words and how they describe their jobs when I talk to them. Someone who is disciplined and views all jobs as a learning experience has self-confidence about who they are and the talents they possess, regardless of job conditions or circumstances.

How to Develop Self-Discipline and Focus

Career Planning: You can begin to develop a hard-working, self-disciplined mindset right now by first examining your career plans. If you cannot articulate the specifics of your career, now is the time to get started. At the very least, decide upon a short-term and a long-term career goal. This will give you a sense of direction, one that can help you find what can be learned instead of focusing on existing working conditions.

The purpose of developing a career plan is to provide you with an ability to create purposeful intent. When you walk into the workplace each day you can remind yourself you are able to learn from any situation, even if what you learn is that you are no longer growing or moving forward in your career.

Learning and Growth: An important component of a disciplined mindset is maximizing your learning and growth potential. If you have developed a productive working relationship with your supervisor or manager, ask them if there is more that you can do. For example, perhaps you can take on an extra project that is based upon a departmental or business need. To some people this may seem to be counter-intuitive and an attempt to become the “teacher’s pet” – or some other type of negative phrasing.

If you are asking from a perspective of having a genuine interest and seeking professional development, and the need is recognized, this will create a feeling of accomplishment within you. As you continue to work hard you may even extend the timeline that you work for this particular employer. You will also likely be viewed as valuable employee, although the ability to remain disciplined will matter most in the long term for your career.

Self-Discipline as a Success Mindset

Becoming disciplined can have a variety of descriptions, including working hard, attaining maximum productivity, or maintaining a focus on what must be accomplished every day. The most meaningful correlation between a focused mindset and effort is the development of peak performance. This working definition speaks to the heart of what working to the very best of your abilities should mean. It is striving to maximize your performance with your current skills and abilities while being open to learning and development, and putting in more than the minimum effort required.

There are going to be times when you aren’t at the top of your game and that is certainly understandable. There will be some days that you find yourself working to the very best of your abilities and other days that find you putting in the best effort possible. The importance of being disciplined means that you do not allow job conditions be the reason why you are not functioning at peak productivity; whether there are new policies to adapt to, additional demands made of your job, or other circumstances.

You can always be in control of your actions and strive for peak performance as a matter of your career development. Learn to develop self-discipline as a mindset and attitude about how you work every day and watch your career continue to evolve as this sense of self is reflected in the outcomes you experience, both personally and professionally. The most effective way to be in control of your career and establish a pattern of success is to control how you think and how you work. Self-discipline is a productive state of mind and focused attitude that you can implement starting now. When your attitude is honed on performing your best, you will find yourself mentally resistant to adverse conditions and ready for new career opportunities. You are mentally disciplined and both you and your career are transformed.

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Source by Dr. Bruce A. Johnson

Views: 0

July 24, 2022
My Husband Says He Doesn’t Care If I Stay Or Leave

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I sometimes hear from wives who have been telling their husband that they are considering leaving the home or the marriage. Some are sincere about this. They are unhappy and feel that taking a break by leaving may be the best thing at the time. Others are not exactly serious about leaving. They are threatening to leave in the hopes that their husband will ask them not to (or they will at least get a reaction out of him to show that he still cares.)

Unfortunately, sometimes this backfires. The wife will announce her intention to leave and hope that her husband will try to stop her (or at the very least ask her not to leave.) Instead, her husband will tell her that he really doesn’t care if she stays or goes. This leaves her unsure of how to proceed. Does she go when she really doesn’t want to in order to save face or make a point? Or does she cave and simply tell him that she changed her mind? And what does her husband’s indifference say about the state of her marriage or her ability to save it?

She might say, “my husband and I have been fighting pretty badly for almost four months. Things are definitely not happy at home. For a while, my husband was apartment hunting and was telling me that he was going to move out, but he never actually did. Still, he complained constantly. I got tired of hearing him complain all of the time, so I told him that I was going to leave so he wouldn’t have to be so unhappy. Now, I’m going to be honest. I really hoped that he would confess that he really doesn’t want for us to live apart, which is why he hadn’t actually signed a lease or moved out yet. Instead, his exact words to me were: ‘I really don’t care if you stay or go.’ He just sort of shrugged his shoulders and said that nothing really changes between us no matter what we do. Now, I am unsure about how to proceed. This hurts me. I had hoped that his not moving out meant that he was willing to save our marriage, but now he acts as if he is indifferent as to whether we live together or not. I don’t want to pack my stuff and leave, but what do I even say now? How do I avoid not having to leave my house? Do I just have to admit that I gambled and lost and that my marriage is over?”

I don’t think so. If everyone who ever threatened to leave their marriage ended up divorced, the divorce rate would be much higher than it actually is. Many couples make these sorts of threats in the heat of the moment and nothing actually comes of them. The threats are understandable. They are usually made because things are bad, but nothing is changing. So one of the spouses decides to shake things up by threatening to leave. The hope is the other spouse will beg them not to go and will have to craft a plan to make things better. Frankly, your husband might have done exactly the same thing when he threatened to leave previously. He did not make good on the threat and I don’t believe that you have to, either, especially if you really don’t want to go.

However, it goes without saying that in order for both of you to want to stay put, you’re going to need to dig in and really improve your marriage so that one or both of you do not get so frustrated that you just give up. I think it would be helpful if you could clear the air, if possible, so that you both know that no one is going anywhere immediately. Because if the living situation is up in the air, it becomes harder to commit to doing the work necessary to save your marriage. If you doubt that your spouse will stick around and work with you, there can be some uncertainty, which could hurt your progress. So you might try something like, “well, you may not care if I leave or stay, but I have decided that I care very much. I have calmed down and thought about it and, if I’m being honest, I really don’t want to leave. I said that I did because I was frustrated and didn’t know how to fix this. But I think of instead of us both getting angry and threatening to leave, we could turn our energy toward making things better between us so that no one has to go. I’d prefer not to leave and live alone. I am hopeful that if we work together, neither of us will need to live alone.”

Yes, saying this will make you feel vulnerable, may feel awkward, and requires that you are the bigger person. But it will hopefully buy you some time. After you have cleared the air, hopefully no one will need to threaten to leave in the hopes that the other will ask them not to go. Because in essence, you will have accomplished what you are both hoping for – the reassurance that with work, no one will have to leave, because no one really wants to separate.

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Source by Leslie Cane

Views: 0

July 24, 2022
Shop Smart & Save Money 2019

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In this eCommerce era, it has become possible to find the best deals using a smartphone or a laptop, and get it shipped to your doorstep. It also became possible to score deals in stores, online and through apps.

There are 3 ways to shop smart and save money in 2019, before buying, while buying and after purchase.

1-How to save money before buying an item?

When I find a product I want or need, the first step is to decide whether to purchase it online or in store. Then what store or online platform offers the best quality to price ratio. I also look at some elements that I believe to be very important before making any purchase:

-Shipping Policy: It’s important to know if a price tag online comes with free shipping or if the customer is responsible for this cost.

-Return Policy: It’s also important to find out if a seller or a shopping platform offers free returns or not. With a free return policy in place, the seller will pay for the return shipping cost if the customer doesn’t like the item received.

-Location: Where is the item you are purchasing being shipped from? The items origin location will determine how long it should take for your item to arrive. However there are a lot of online sellers that use the drop shipping method. When the consumer purchases, the seller (who doesn’t have the item on hand) then has the manufacturer or a 3rd party entity ship the item to the customer. These items are usually being shipped from overseas from countries like China, which will take a lot longer for the for the item to arrive. If you are OK waiting that long for shipping it makes no sense to go through a drop shipper, you could pay less by going directly to Alibabba or ALiexpress websites.

Following are some ways I use to score some good deals

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Shop & Save Money

-Goodwill Outlet Store

Goodwill Outlet is a good example of a store that I never visited before 2018. Now I can go there and buy as many items as I want for very cheap, and if I’m lucky enough that day, I can find some brand name items, to keep or resell online. I can pay up to $1.49 for a pound of clothes (prices vary depending upon location). The Goodwill outlet in my opinion is not only for someone who resells online. I encourage you to visit the Goodwill outlet store in your area, it’s an experience that you will enjoy if you like finding deals, and it’s for a good cause. If you decide to go after reading this article or if you have been there, please share with us your experience in the comments area for everyone to learn from

-eBay Auctions

eBay is another platform where you are most likely to score a deal. It’s in my list of smart ways to shop online in 2019 for 3 reasons:

1. Huge inventory with a possibility to make an offer, which gives you some control over the price to are willing to pay for an item. If the seller accepts you have a deal.

2. HUGE number of auctions you can win for cheap if you know what you are doing. I usually score a great deal quickly by bidding on auctions that are ending soon with no bidders. I found out that winning auctions is a great way to save money and shop smart.

3. Rare finds in all categories

eBay has been around for a while and has a strong brand that offers a good buyer protection policy and has trust from around the world.The eBay platform is another smart way to shop, and also get rid of unwanted items around the house. I sell on eBay and keep a Top Rated seller status with a 100% customer feedback, just by keeping my prices low, accepting reasonable offers, and trying to give the best customer service possible. You can still get a good feedback even if the item isn’t brand new, as long as you are honest and mention any scratches or blemishes in the description. You can find my store on eBay here. I will appreciate it if you check it out.

-Poshmark

I love the poshmark app because It’s easy to use, and it’s a great way to find some good deals in the clothing category. As a posher, you can make offers on items you like and use the power of negotiation to your advantage to ask poshers to lower their prices. You can also follow the sellers you like and join parties based on brands or item categories you’re interested in.The Poshmark App made it to my list of smart ways to shop in 2019 because it allows it’s members to be buyers and sellers at the same time. It’s a great way to clean up your closet and get rid of the clothes you don’t use anymore.If you don’t have a Poshmark account, you can receive a free $5 bonus when you sign up with my code SARADRETAIL.

Disclaimer: If you use my code to sign up to poshmark for free, you will receive a $5 credit and I will receive a $5 credit after you make your first purchase. Please leave me a comment below to follow your closet, you can check out my closet here.

-ThredUP:

ThredUP is another website that makes buying brand name preowned clothing and accessories affordable.Their customer service is great, their shipping is quick, and their prices are some of the best in the market. Every purchase I make in the thredUP website is a deal. Check it out here if you are looking for some high ticket items for a really good price. Some of the brands available on thredUP: GUCCI, BURBERRY, GIORGIO ARMANI, MAX MARA, J.CREW, THEORY, COACH, VINCE, MICHAEL KORS…

2-HOW TO SAVE MONEY WHILE BUYING AN ITEM?

There are a couple of different ways to save money while buying products. When you are buying online, depending upon your platform (ie. eBay, amazon, poshmark, craigslist, letgo, offerup, etc.) you may have the power of negotiating your price. Haggling over price is still used in many cultures all over the world, but ultimatley as a buyer we haggle to get the best price we can. Many platforms now have a way to haggle through “Best offer” or “Make an Offer” options. Of course the seller ultimately gets to decide to accept, counter or decline the offer. As long as you offer a reasonable price and don’t low ball in most cases you can expect to pay a lower price than originally was being asked.

Another way to save money online is through coupons, ecoupons, and promo codes. You may be thinking did I just read coupons, aren’t those the things my mom cuts out of the Sunday paper. Well they aren’t just for in store purchases any more. Everything is online now-a-days and that includes discount coupons. There are websites that offer online discounts and printable coupons for almost any item, any store and any retailer at the click of button. These discount codes can be entered at checkout to get anywhere from 10-70% off your total purchase. Plus on many platforms if you bundle (purchase more than 1 item from the same seller) your purchase you can save even more.

Coupons have been used at grocery retailers for over a hundred years. With technology retailers are now able to offer their customers direct mail and email coupons, they can put coupons on their website and customers can even save them on their phone. There are coupons available for any item, any discount and any retailer. Its just a matter of finding the best coupon to use for your purchase.

Here you can check out Coupons.com for some good deals.

Shop Smart In 2019

3-How to Save money after purchase?

3-How to Save money after purchase?

You may be wondering what I mean by saving money after you have made a purchase. It doesn’t make sense that you can save money after you have already purchased an item. Well in actuality I mean cash back rewards. Cash back rewards allow you to earn cash back on any item you have purchased, in turn allowing you to save off the purchase of that product.

We are in the age of apps. We have become glued to our phones, never letting them out of our site, using them to not only make phone calls but browse the internet, purchase products, watch tv, read a book, etc. Apps have become a normal part of our phones anatomy. And there are some apps which allow you to make cash back by doing your normal everyday shopping. These apps include Ibotta, Shopkick, Receipt Hog, FetchRewards, etc. The basic premise of these apps is once you make a purchase you upload your receipt and based upon the items purchased and total spent, you will receive a point value. The points equal a dollar amount and once you reach a certain points total you get that dollar amount either through paypal or through gift cards, etc. Each app has its own unique additions such as getting points just to walk into a store, or scanning certain products. Its nice to know that you can get rewarded for doing normal everyday things such as shopping.

These are the apps I use. If you sign up under me you will get starting bonus:

Ibotta: gyrrrvo

Shopkick: SAVE219356 – get 250 kicks for signing up

Fetch Rewards: YF8AD – get 3000 points for signing up

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Source by Sarah Labdar

Views: 0

July 24, 2022
Guilt Is a Useless Emotion

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I once read a poem in my doctor’s office that went something like this:

If a child is raised in anger, he will feel anger.

If a child is raised with guilt, he will feel guilty.

If a child is raised with shame, he will feel shame.

If a child is raised in love, he will feel love.

Of course that is not the whole poem, but you get the point. At the time, the poem was just something to read while I waited. Today the meaning is very clear to me.

There is no such thing as guilt, you can not go to the store and buy a pound or bag of guilt. It is a man made ego minded emotion this is detrimental to humans living to their full potential.

It seems to me that women carry so much guilt, whether it stems from being a woman, or the way we raised our children, or for being/or wanting to be successful, to being a sexual human. Where did it all start? Why have we continued to pass this down to each new generations? Mostly we do it subconsciously, although I know there are times when it is used for our advantage in certain situations.

Many moons ago the female Goddess energy was the ruler of the universe, it was honored and valued. Did guilt arise when we stopped tuning into that energy and were slowly overpowered by the male energy that has dominated the universe for so long? Was it because we stopped standing our ground and speaking our truth? Who knows were guilt originated. I am not saying it is a female only emotion, nor pointing fingers, my point is for this particular article only.

Guilt has kept so many stuck in the same place for years. Why? Just like the poem says, it is passed down through the stories we were told by our parents, grand parents, teachers and role models. These stories were laced with limiting beliefs that blocked us from actually achieving our full potential in life. This useless emotion became a vicious circle that many are still trying to step out of, or don’t even realize they are in.

You get a great idea that will make you lots of money. Then the guilt thinking comes in, you start to hear the old stories, you can’t make more money than your husband, men are supposed to support the family. You may even see pictures of the people telling the story. OR, even worse, you want to express your sexuality, or your sexual energy and you hear that voice saying “good girls don’t” Well guess what, good girls do, and they have been for years. Even those catholic girls in high school that swore they didn’t. They do. We are human, we don’t need to feel guilty about anything. Especially expressing our true selves.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, everyone, but we don’t have to feel guilty about it and carry it with us the rest of our lives. It is time to free ourselves of the past, to free ourselves of the guilt. It is time to forgive ourselves for allowing this to control any part of our lives.

Guilt is an emotion that comes from fear based thinking. If we take a really good look at why we feel guilty for any particular situation, we will probably find that the thought process is not even our own. It was something passed down to us from someone else. And to think that is ruling our days!!

Fortunately there is good news. The choice is ours as to whether we are going to carry the guilt or let it go. Give a moment to think how you would feel if you decided right this moment to let go of it. How would it feel to have put it out with the garbage on Monday morning? How does it feel? Light? Airy? Expansive? Free? Now ask yourself this. How often do you put the garbage out at the road, and then walk out and bring it back into the house? Never, Right? The same needs to happen when letting go of guilt, once you put it out, leave it out. In fact don’t even go back to smell it.

How can we release guilt? Here are a few steps, these require you to love yourself enough to give yourself permission to feel good.

1. Write out what you feel guilty about and why. Take one situation at a time. Write adamantly, don’t hold back on anything, just let it all go, allow the emotions to flow. Once you are done, set it down for a few moments, then go back and write a little more. Don’t read it over, tear it up, or burn it. As you do repeat ” I now choose to let this go, it no longer affects my life.”

2. Sit with a situation in mind. Allow yourself to feel how you feel about it, visualize it, hear the stories other people told you about the situation. Feel where you feel this in your body. Ask yourself if the guilt is yours or someone else’s? When you have sat with it as long as you can, allow yourself to let it go. Visualize it leaving your body, feel it leaving your body and say I choose to let this go. I no longer need this in my life. I let it go in exchange for peace.

3. Change the story you are telling yourself. When you catch yourself telling the guilt story either to yourself or someone else, catch it, don’t judge it, just change it to something possible, with positive emotions. Be aware of the thoughts and stories you tell, after all we get to choose them, they might as well be positive.

4. Train your mind to look for thing to be grateful for. You will always find what you are look for, again it might as well be positive.

In doing these exercises you will release the emotional charge the thoughts and feelings have on you. The memories may come back from time to time, but the emotions will not take hold of you, they will not control you. Quilt really is a useless emotion, with a choice attached. I choose to let it go so I can soar through the rest of my life free as a bird. Free yourself.

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Source by Jenn Prothero

Views: 0

July 24, 2022