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7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Chapter 3 Overview

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Chapter 3 is the final piece of the puzzle on your way to conquering your very own personal victory. Habit one shows us that we are in charge of our own destiny. It empowers you to change your program that may have been put in place since childhood. Habit two starts the process of identifying what it is you want to be through your powers of visualization. This is the mental creation of the end you desire. Habits one and two are the prerequisite to chapter three which will put your mental creation into a physical force. It’s the day in day out action you will need to take. With the foundations set, you will be able to practice effective self management through your principle centered lifestyle.

The successful person has a tendency to do what other people won’t do. It’s not that they necessarily like it but their strength of purpose will overcome the doubts. The chapter gives you the opportunity to critically examine where you spend your time. There are 4 quadrants to choose from and your answers may well surprise you. Is your day consumes with urgent matters? Is everything you do classified as important? Are you one of the many who are swamped on a daily basis by what is called “crisis management”?

You will gain a terrific understanding of what effective people do to manage their time. Habit 1 suggested you are the programmer, habit 2 sheds light on writing the program and habit 3 is all about running the program or in fact, “living the program”. Living the program is not something we do every now and then. If it is in line with our principle centered pathway, our program becomes how we live our lives day in day out. How we spend our time is absolutely paramount to our levels of success. The chapter delivers towards the beginning of “public victories” with some further examination of the P/PC balance and a concept which was brand new to me called “The Emotional Bank Account”.

The emotional bank account is a metaphor for something that describes the amount of trust that has been built up in any given relationship. Courtesy, kindness and honesty are examples of deposits into a bank account and discourtesy, cutting off and disrespect are withdrawals that can deplete your account. Without a positive emotional bank account that has established a trend of continual deposits, withdrawals will tend to have a compounding and negative effect.

This concept can be adapted to every relationship you have whether it be personal or business, the power of a positive account will always increase your level of trustworthiness and integrity. Learn, understand and implement the content contained in these pages and you will not only change your life but you will be well and truly ready for the public victories that are about to follow.

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Source by Peter L Bennett

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October 9, 2019
How To Make Your Rebellious Wife a Submissive Wife

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All too frequently in the regular or secular world exist the battle and the discussion about women who ought to submit to men. Do an Internet search on “rebellious wives” or “rebellious women” and you will find this is no small concern, nor is there a shortage of opinions. There are Rebellious Magazine For Women, Rebellious Thoughts of A Woman, videos of men chastising women to submit, etc. Christians carry a greater volume of the discussion since in books of the Bible like Ephesians, Colossians, and 1 Peter clearly says that “…submit yourselves to your own husbands” (NIV).

Even government and political issues have no protection from this culturally unsettling thought as presidential candidate Michele Bachman was asked if she is a “submissive wife” in an Iowa GOP debate.

Well, while we are in the mood of celebrating “Fathers Day” I want to bring an answer and the solution to men and likely fathers who are being shredded emotionally by this psychological think-tank we have created around this issue. Regardless of my position as an author, speaker, and more for family legacy issues, I deliver this more from a man and father who has a willingly submissive wife. Yet my wife is a mother, career woman, independently strong, and opinionated. However there is no conflict in her submission. Why, you ask?

The way to make rebellious wife a submissive wife is to:

1) Be a considerate husband – Have knowledgeable and intelligent understanding of your wife. Be a student of your wife at all levels of intimacy and not just pertaining to sexuality. Give her honor which is more from your ready preparation to endure the price of deep suffering for her. This is the same price that is meant by the readiness to die protecting your wife and children.

2) Acknowledge her as the weaker vessel – Remember that a vessel is very rarely ever interpreted as something abstract; rather there is always tangibility to the context of its use. As such the expression of weaker is clearly addressing a physical aspect of the woman or your wife, and not mental (intelligence), psychological, or emotional. Our society has abused this expression greatly.

3) Realize your equality with your wife – This speaks of yours and your wife’s level of importance. Between the two of you there is none favored; you are absolutely equals in the essence of your relationship. So does the Bible contradict itself by repeatedly stating “wives must submit”? No, the Bible’s call is strictly based on the roles we must play as a husband and wife.

4) Intercede on her behalf in purity – Your purity of heart, actions, and thoughts carry a great importance and is the determinant your consistency or inconsistency in attitude towards her. More importantly your purity is critical to your prayers for her and your children before God.

If you can authentically demonstrate, personify, and exemplify these four components within the nature of your relationship to your wife, I promise you a rebellious wife will fast become a submissive wife to and for you. The truth is your wife is design to be incapable of not submitting. In honesty, she does not have a problem submitting to a man. She simply has a problem submitting to you as a man. Sadly, you are the only one she is truly designed/created to submit to. The great news…it can be fixed.

By the way, here is the source of my wisdom:

1 Peter 3:7 (AMP)

In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an[c]intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]

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Source by Ezechiel Bambolo, Jr

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October 8, 2019
Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, by Peter A, Levine

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Many people who have suffered tremendous emotional trauma (for example, the recently bereaved, people in war-torn countries, those who have been tortured or sexually molested) or physical hurt (e.g. severe neglect, debilitating injuries) recover entirely or near completely from their tragedy. However, others do not fare as well and continue to relive the same horrific experiences of morbid fear, anguish, and anxiety for a prolonged period of time. These latter groups of people have been traumatized by their bad experiences.

In their book, “Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma,” Levine and Frederick (1997), said that this is a result of bottled-up somatosensory symptoms emanating after trauma. There are three main ways people respond when faced with a traumatic experience, said Levine and Frederick (1997). They can fight (confront the situation), flee (get away from the situation), or freeze (be totally overwhelmed by the predicament to the point of immobility). Victims who apply a fight or flee solution to a traumatic experience fare better in dealing with trauma than people who freeze in response to shock (Levine & Frederick, 1997). This state of suspended animation and paralysis occurs unconsciously and involuntarily. During this state of freeze, the victim has no way of going through all the typical reactions associated with traumatic events (Levine & Frederick, 1997). Because they are not adequately discharged by the victim, the trapped emotions wreak havoc on the traumatized individual.

The solution to trauma is, therefore, to guide the victim along a path (Experiential Sensation-FELT SENSE) that allows them to perceive and release those trapped emotions (Levine & Frederick, 1997). This approach to healing trauma was garnered by learning how animals recover from traumatic experience (Levine & Frederick 1997). Confronting trauma, said Levine and Frederick (1997), should be mostly on an emotional, limbic brain level, and not solely on the rational, executive brain level.

Levine and Frederick’s trauma theory is also supported in some ways by the polyvagal theory, which suggests that trauma has a somatic experiential component. If, as indicated by the polyvagal theory and by the Levine and Frederick (1997) theory, that trauma has strong emotional roots, one can apply elements of relationship models such as the DIR model in addressing trauma. After determining the victim’s functional emotional development capacity level, a DIR practitioner can begin to appeal, build and strengthen discovered areas of weaknesses, thus allowing the victim to escape the shackling phenomena of a past traumatic event. Calming the traumatized individual is a tool in the DIR toolbox with which to regulate traumatized individuals. A calmed mind creates an opportunity for further regulation of emotions and understanding of deep-rooted feelings, all of which are needed for trauma victims to extricate themselves from the shackles of the past and begin to attain new heights of functional capacity.

Other applicable trauma theories include the NARM model, which, focusing on the mind, suggests that trauma is associated with a maladaptation in the victim’s attachment history. The PTSD model suggests that trauma victims are applying to their current problems solutions which had worked and were appropriate in the past.

In my opinion, while attachment and trauma appear as opposite ends of the same emotional realm, it is apparent that whereas attachment is mostly positive, except, for example, in cases of extreme attachment/dependency, trauma is almost always negative, at least until it resolves. Treatment of trauma requires a dedicated practitioner, who is ready to learn from their victims and understand their challenges in order to develop an appropriate management strategy.

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of trauma, making timely referrals to a trauma specialist, and integrating several of the modalities mentioned would likely give the best result in the management of traumatized children and adults.

Reference

Levine, P. A., & Frederick, A. (1997). Waking the tiger: Healing trauma: The innate capacity to transform overwhelming experiences. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.

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Source by Anselm Anyoha

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October 8, 2019