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Tag: Matters

  • Niches Lead to Riches

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    It doesn’t matter WHAT your niche is.

    It only matters THAT you have one.

    AFTER ALL: Niches lead to riches.

    Now, there are two potential types of niches you can leverage:

    1. Niche Expertise

    2. Niche Market

    Having a Niche Expertise means you know a LOT about a SPECIFIC TOPIC that applies to a WIDE AUDIENCE.

    So, it’s the answer to the question:

    1. What, specifically, are you known FOR?

    2. What word do you want to OWN?

    FOR EXAMPLE: Let’s say you’re a consultant whose expertise is on how to handle angry, pissed off or difficult customers.

    Fantastic! That’s what you’re known FOR.

    And the good news is, entrepreneurs with Niche Expertise have several advantages:

    They become a big fish in a big pond.

    They apply their knowledge cross industrial.

    They open wide doors for expanding their businesses.

    They diversify their client base, which leads to new business.

    They become the obvious expert sought out by the mainstream media.

    They allow new markets to add multiple dimensions to their single topic.

    Dave Jackson is a good example of this. He’s “The Angry Customer Guy.”

    That’s Niche Expertise.

    On the other hand, having a Niche Market means you know a LOT about a SPECIFIC GROUP OF PEOPLE to whom you apply MANY TOPICS.

    So, it’s the answer to the questions:

    1. Whom, specifically, are you known BY?

    2. What industry do you want to DOMINATE?

    FOR EXAMPLE: Let’s say you’re a consultant who works solely in the Jewelry Retail Industry.

    Awesome! That’s whom you’re known BY.

    And the good news is, entrepreneurs with a Niche Market have several advantages:

    They become a big fish in a small pond.

    They apply their knowledge cross-topical.

    They open deep doors for expanding their businesses.

    They specialize their client base, which leads to repeat business.

    They become the obvious expert sought out by industry and trade media.

    They allow industry trends to add multiple dimensions to their various topics.

    Shane Decker is a good example of this. He’s “The Jewelry Store Guy.”

    That’s a Niche Market.

    Now, occasionally you will run into entrepreneurs that have both a Niche Topic AND a Niche Market.

    FOR EXAMPLE: How to handle angry, pissed off or difficult customers … who shop at retail jewelry stores.

    That’s a SUPER Niche!

    And although it’s rare, if you can pull it off … good on ya!

    You get the best of both worlds.

    Either way, you MUST remember this process:

    1. Focus first; THEN spray. Either covering your topic or your industry.

    2. Develop specialized knowledge. Either about your topic or about your industry.

    3. Pick a lane. Either the topic lane or the industry lane.

    4. Go with gusto! Either about your topic or about your industry.

    5. Become That Guy. Either “for” the topic or “by” the market.

    REMEMBER: People prefer specialists.

    Turn your niches into riches.

    LET ME ASK YA THIS…

    Are you niching?

    LET ME SUGGEST THIS…

    For the list called, “46 Marketing Mistakes Your Company Is (Probably) Making,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

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    Source by Scott Ginsberg

    Views: 0

  • He Hasn’t Said I Love You Yet? What This Really Means for Your Relationship

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    There’s a very special moment in every romantic relationship that a woman holds her breath for. It’s when your man tells you he loves you. Ideally, he’ll say it first and it will happen in a wonderful, memorable place. You’ll remember everything about the second those fateful words left his lips. The shirt he was wearing, how his hair was styled and what his cologne smelled like will all become important nuances of the moment when you both knew that you were going to be life partners. It all sounds so dreamy and ideal, doesn’t it? From experience, most of us know that it typically doesn’t go that way. He’ll usually blurt out the words at the most inopportune time like when we’re stopped at a red light or during a football game. Regardless of the circumstances of the delivery, the words are still meaningful and relationship changing. Sadly, not all men reach a point where they feel comfortable sharing those words. If it’s now been months or even years and he hasn’t said I love you yet, what exactly does that mean for you and your future with him?

    Never Forget How Different You and Your Man Are

    I’ve often heard women say that they wish men were more like them. In some ways, that would be wonderful, but essentially we love men because they are men. Your man doesn’t process his feelings the same way you do. If he falls in love with you at first sight, chances are very good that he’s not going to share that news with you until months into the relationship. The same is true of the man who falls in love with his woman at a slow pace. He’s not going to give you updates about what he’s feeling. Men just aren’t wired that way.

    Sharing deep and meaningful feelings to a man makes him feel emotionally vulnerable. It’s very much like he’s taking the armor off his heart and he’s putting himself in the line of fire. If you don’t react favorably to his declaration of adoration or if you say something hurtful, it will pain him in a way that nothing else could. A man needs to feel very secure in his relationship before he’ll be ready to blurt out that he loves you.

    Pay Close Attention to His Actions Rather Than His Words

    So much can be gained from really paying close attention to how your man acts when he’s around you. There are certain behavior patterns that sync with a man who is truly and madly in love. You may believe that he’s not in love unless he says the words, but don’t discount how he treats you. For a man who is struggling with opening himself up to the point where he does indeed feel very vulnerable, his actions can give you great insight into what is in his heart.

    A telling example is the man who rushes through his day so that he can spend as much time as possible with the woman he adores. Nothing matters quite as much to him as seeing her smiling face at the end of his workday. The same is true of the man who sends a few text messages or emails during the day. His mind is clearly on the woman he cares for. Any small gestures like this should be viewed for what they are and that’s a strong sign that his heart is focused on the woman in his life.

    See His Commitment to You as a Sign of What’s in His Heart

    If a man has stopped dating other women and his focus is always just on you, he’s smitten. Men are notorious for wanting to play the field. Once a man stops looking, thinking about and seeing other women you should take note of that. He may not have said that he loves you outright but the fact that he’s lost interest in other attractive women speaks volumes about how he views you.

    This is especially clear if he’s suggested that you don’t see other guys or that you two just date exclusively. If he does mention this, it obviously means that he wants you to himself and that generally has a lot more to do with a man’s heart than his ego.

    A man in love wants to draw a tight circle around the woman who is the center of his world. He doesn’t want the threat of any other men on the horizon and he doesn’t have eyes for any other women either. His focus is clear and he’ll ask you to focus on him too.

    Be Wary of a Man Who Doesn’t Seem Connected Emotionally to You

    As much as you want to hope that he does love you, even if he has yet to say it, you do need to be mindful of the fact that his reluctance to express it is based on the fact that he just doesn’t feel it. If you’ve told your boyfriend that you love him and you’re met with dead silence, or he changes the subject very quickly, it’s easy to jump to the assumption that he isn’t in love and just is very uncomfortable talking about the subject at all.

    Some men will work hard at avoiding any discussion about feelings. They’ll say things like, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship yet, ” or “love is overrated.” If your guy has expressed similar sentiments to you, you have every right to be discouraged by that. He’s telling you, in a very roundabout and non-compassionate way that he’s just not feeling the same things you are.

    It’s up to you to determine whether or not you want to continue to invest yourself in a relationship like this. Granted, over time his position may change and he may decide that he does indeed love you. Perhaps a bit of time apart, as in a short-term relationship “break” might help him see the light. There’s a chance it won’t though.

    Just remember that all men are different and even though some are quick to say those three meaningful words, other men just can’t fathom saying, “I love you,” to any woman unless they’re on the verge of proposing to her. It’s up to you to decipher your man’s actions and read between the limes to truly see what’s in his heart.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

    Views: 0

  • Customer Service Tips – How to Handle Irate Customers

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    Are you ready to learn how to keep every guest happy? It starts with making sure that your managers are thoroughly trained in every position within your restaurant. They need to know all the jobs, so they can step in if someone calls off sick, or if sales are higher than expected.

    The manager needs to be highly trained in excellent customer service. This type of service is called “wow” service because your customers will say “Wow!” about their experience at your restaurant.

    One way to easily accomplish that “wow” experience is simply by telling your managers that every time they are in direct contact with any guest, that they are smiling, being friendly and attentive to the guests. If a famous person was coming to your restaurant, how would you treat that person? Every guest should be receive that same VIP treatment.

    In case of a dissatisfied, angry, or irate customers, we recommend applying the GLAD technique. This will dramatically decrease customer related matters, and lead to customer recovery.

    What is the GLAD Technique?

    1. Go to the guest
    2. Listen carefully to the guest
    3. Apologize to the guest
    4. Do what it takes to solve the problem

    When approaching the upset customer, always shows genuine concern. It is important to listen to the guest without cutting them off. Make sure that you take the time to fully understand their concerns. Remain calm. Responding to anger in a calm manner may help reduce the person’s anxiety. Don’t be fake, be real.

    Always apologize to the guest, even if the customer is wrong. Even when you are certain the person is wrong, go with the mindset that the person is right. Never offer excuses as to why the problem occurred, but offer solutions instead.

    Solutions will vary depending on the complaint and the circumstances. Offer a solution and ask if this will meet the customer’s needs. Go above and beyond. Remember, one angry customer leads to other lost customers. Keep in mind that for each customer you lose, you will lose 11 customers within the next few weeks. That number will compound because those 11 people will also repeat what they heard from the first customer. Ultimately you could be losing hundreds of customers because of one dissatisfied customer. If the matter is serious, you could even lose your restaurant’s reputation, and the restaurant could end up being shut down.

    Every customer that leaves your restaurant tells family, friends and co-workers about the experience at your restaurant. If the experience was mediocre they won’t say anything, but if it was very good experience at your restaurant they will tell others. If it was a negative experience and they walked out dissatisfied, then the reputation of your restaurant will be impacted. Negative feedback from your customers could mean the end of your business. Don’t underestimate the power of the word-of-mouth effect. Word-of-mouth will work with you or against you depending on the guest’s experience.

    Do you really want to lose business because of customer complaints? Teaching effective customer service techniques to your managers and staff should be at the top of your to-do list.

    Teach your managers to be proactive in preventing customer related matters. Manager presence in the dining room is a wonderful path to reduce customer complaints. The manager should spend at least 80% of his/her time in the dining room, and only 10% in the manager’s office.

    The manager also needs to physically approach each customer’s table to ensure that WOW guest service is in effect. The manager also needs to learn how to detect negative body language and how to express positive body language.

    How do customers show their dissatisfaction with their body language?

    • When you are in direct eye-to-eye contact, you can witness the anger in the customer’s eyes.

    • Seeing untouched food, especially when everybody at the table ate their food, except the one customer who barely touched his or her food.

    • The manager asks the customer, “So how was your meal and service tonight?” The customer replies, “It’s okay”. If the customer was fully satisfied with both the service and the meal they may say it was “terrific” or “great,” not just “okay.”

    • When you look at a guest and you get an uncomfortable “gut” feeling, act on that feeling.

    • You see a customer looking around as though they want someone to help them. You may even see them glaring at a server speaking with other customers.

    What is your body language saying?

    • Always use direct eye contact when talking to your guests. Never look away while you are talking to your guest. Looking away gives the impression that you are not interested in what the other person has to say.

    • Never cross your arms when talking to guests, this could be interpreted as shutting them out or anger.

    • Never roll your eyes, as this is very disrespectful and it appears that you are belittling their concerns.

    • Constantly listen to the guest even if they are angry. It may help to allow the person to vent their anger. Always acknowledge their feelings.

    • Ask the customer what would improve the visit to your restaurant.

    What do you do with Moody Customers?

    This is your opportunity to turn around the customer’s mood from a bad to good. Make certain that you are on top of things and pay attention to details. If you have any concerns about their experience, you may even offer the table a free appetizer or dessert. It may seem like you are losing money by “giving away” food or “discounting” their meals; however, you will lose more money from each lost customer than you will for that one food item or meal. If you successfully turn things around, then you may create repeat business. Kindness and consideration of their needs will often overcome their anger.

    A wise person said, “How you handle positive feedback is important, but it is more important to know how to handle negative feedback.” Make sure you tell the customers that you appreciate the fact that they took the time to tell you about their experience. Don’t make excuses, instead find solutions. Don’t disagree with the customer, even if you know the guest is wrong.

    If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to repeat them again and again.

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    Source by Donna Schim

    Views: 0

  • Gifts of a Sand Dollar

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    I guess this New York City girl is now a nature enthusiast to the extreme! Our recent sand dollar experience proves it.

    Do you remember that famous story about a girl that throws a starfish back into the sea one at a time along the shoreline? When the girl was told by an onlooker that what she was doing wouldn’t matter much, she replied “it matters to that one” and threw another starfish back into the sea.

    Well, I have a sand dollar story to share. The other day we happened upon a little island while boating and we couldn’t believe how many live sand dollars were in the water and on the sand, green, fuzzy and thriving. They weren’t white and dry like you buy them in a store. My kids were really interested in them and so were we adults, actually. Other kids were getting them out of the water and hauling them home, showing them off to us, and even offering them to us. My family enjoyed holding them and looking at them, but then we’d each throw the sand dollars back into the water… to keep on living… and we left with only memories as souvenirs.

    Now I wasn’t always like this. In fact, when I was a teen, my folks took me to the Bahamas and we had some natives dive down and get us a couple of starfish that we brought back as souvenirs. Back then it seemed like the most normal thing to want to do. I still remember the shock on my kids’ faces when they first would hear about my youthful vacation and the starfish experience, though. They invariably asked why would I do that because didn’t it kill the starfish? Boy that made me feel lousy.

    Turns out they had a very good point. I’ve learned from life, from my kids, I don’t know from where else exactly but now I feel the same way as the kids do. I wonder, why DID I want to do that? Oh well, the past is done. But now, we CAN save the sand dollars (and the starfish) one at a time at least.

    I guess the other day we all just wanted to save this little bit of marine life. We cared about the little guys in nature. I thought, “now what would happen if ALL the people who came here took the sand dollars out to keep as souvenirs? Then we wouldn’t have had the special magic we found for a little while together on that little strip of sand and sea. And my teenager wouldn’t have said “That was cool, let’s go back there. I liked all the sand dollars that live there”. This straight from the mouth of a known computer enthusiast who spends as much time as possible accompanied by his computer!

    With each passing year I can better see the importance of protecting and trying to save the environment and wildlife. Have I been better educated? Am I just more mature? Maybe. But I think it’s more because I can see the picture better through the eyes of my children who seem to see the world through a special focus and help me to see some facets that I might otherwise miss.

    So let’s not give up caring for the environment just because we think we can’t save it all or make a big enough impact. If we each do our small part, then we’ll be able to help keep nature’s magic around for ourselves and for our future generations to learn from and enjoy. We’ll play a supporting role in the drama of our living environment when we choose to receive and give… the gifts of a sand dollar.

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    Source by Liz Hekimian-Williams

    Views: 0

  • MLM – In Unashamed Defense of Multi-Level and Network Marketing

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    One of the things that tells you are being successful in your online marketing efforts is an increasing number of emails from nay sayers, spoilers and people who are just down right rude.

    I recently received one from an IT expert who was independently well off thanks to stock options and profit sharing. He mocked MLM people as “bottom feeders” and said, “I mock MLM as a business model.” Probably very easy to do when you’re loaded thanks to stock options, etc – just hope his company doesn’t go the way of Enron!

    To be honest I mock most other business models as an inefficient and sometimes down right unethical way to do business. Example one:- Small family in china produces components for a larger company for a tiny margin, large company then sells products to a wholesaler, wholesale then sells it to a foreign wholesaler who then sells it to a retailer who sells it to the consumer. Now this is a basic model – sometimes the middle men can be much more numerous. Either way the original producer gets screwed and the consumer gets screwed thanks to the number of middle man. This is even worse in the agricultural industry. Go to a farmer and ask him how much he/she gets for a liter of milk, a ton of potatoes, etc – it will shock you! They get a pittance of the final shelf price. For farmers to continue to rely on the big multinationals to do the right thing by them is the seriously flawed business model as they continue to be driven to the wall. I MOCK TRADITIONAL BUSINESS MODELS.

    The worlds biggest MLM is the international illegal drug market – although they trade in evil and death they are a huge network of people from poppy fields in Afghanistan to street sellers in western cities – the high estimate is that the world wide industry is $500 billion. The a lot of money for what is an MLM. Should MLM still be mocked as a business model?!

    Multi-level marketing and network marketing is found throughout the business world. Real Estate agents, Dealerships, and many other ‘traditional’ business often have levels of reward depending on number of sales, sales people below you, etc. The internet abound with affiliate programs that are multi-leveled to reward affiliates not only for product sales, but also if they bring in new affiliates.

    Why is MLM so hated by the traditionalists? One it represents a threat. It means a load more competitors. It puts products profits into the hands of the consumers. It means less sales bonuses for them and less margins for the middle men. It means the wealthy can lose control of markets that they previously dominated. Who would you be more scared of – another multi-national with a sales team of 100 people, or a MLM with 100,000 non-professional sales people? Genuine people power has always frightened those in control of both the power and the purse strings. Why would you give the profits to the consumer instead of the share holders? Of course it rattles their cage – it threatens their very existence. Instead of a CEO earning millions for doing nothing, he/she would actually have to get out there and prove that they could sell a product to be successful. Hugely frightened for someone relying on their degrees and old tie network to get ahead.

    Multi-level marketing and network marketing is also hated by the traditionalist because it frees people from slavery to a forty hour working week. They love people to be in credit card debt. They love people to HAVE to go to work to survive. They love people having big mortgages. They love people being CONSUMERS. They don’t want consumers to turn into producers. It spoils there party. They don’t want people to be free to from the “traditional” working (slavery) model.

    At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what the naysayers say about MLM, the only thing that matters is can you succeed at MLM.

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    Source by Alastair Harris

    Views: 0

  • Welding Jobs: Ideas You Can Use At Home To Make Money Welding (No Boss While You Make $100,000)

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    What if you could make $100,000 a year welding from home?

    What if you could make even an extra $500 a month from home, using your current skills? If you are a welder with basic welding skills and you are between jobs or you are being under paid in your current job, it might be worth your time to read this article – let’s think outside the box for just a minute on how you can make money welding from home.

    From Home Welding # 1:

    Teaching or tutoring any skill is a very profitable business. In any town of any size you’ll see at least one tutoring business in a strip mall brick and mortar location. In that same town will be at least a dozen other tutors working from home, making good money.

    Yes, most of the time they are tutoring math and reading to students. Lean back and think about what skills you have that can also be used in a tutoring business you can set up and milk cash from, like milk from a cow.

    Let’s say you are good enough with TIG to weld razor blades or pop can butts.

    If you can teach a non welder to operate a TIG torch good enough to go on and practice on their own at their home in about 3 hours of your hands on theirs – they will pay up to $100 an hour for 3 hours of TIG instruction. Just 2 students a day would bring you $100,000 a year. If you think I’m kidding I’m NOT! There are many reasons why education is so valuable – and that includes intense, focused tutoring in welding.

    6G pipe welding is the highest paid of all welding certifications – most 6G welders make $100k to $300k a year – and demand is crazy. However, if you are a 6G welder and you want to stay home, you can set up and teach 6G in your garage. Let’s say you do this with 7 students, each paying you $10,000 for a 3 month course. Yes, they will pay it – especially if you show them how they will have more time with your hand on theirs (the #1 secret to learning 6G fast).

    From Home Welding # 2:

    I was in Palm Springs the other day. I have been in and around the trades for 30 years… and when you see a tradesman’s truck and it is late model without dents or many scratches, clean, organized and well equipped, it means (99% of the time) that guy is making money.

    I pulled up to a light behind just such a truck – “Joe’s BBQ Service and Repair.” That’s it – that is all Joe does. He will weld cast aluminum or steel. He’ll clean and polish. He’ll replace a burner or a control. OR he’ll buy your old unit and sell / or sell you a new one.

    Yes, you need a town with a lot of high end BBQs. Other than that, go get it.

    From Home Welding # 3:

    Large steel cut outs. In art of all kinds, size matters. For example, 20 years ago we purchased two 4′ long coat racks – each is a piece of 1.5″ x 1.5″ x 1/8″ angle 4′ long with 6 horse shoes welded to the angle to hang the coats.

    On the horizontal surface of the angle is welded a scene made of 7 horse and 7 tree cut-outs. We paid $185 for each of these 20 years ago… that would be about $300 a piece in today’s dollars.

    The problem with you making these is that the 14 cut outs on each unit are too small too many to cut by hand – you need a computerized plasma table to make these.

    Here is where the magic of size makes all the difference.

    The artist who drew the cut outs on our coat rack was good. Each of the 7 horses is different and beautiful, as well as the trees. Any – or all of these – cut outs can be scaled up with chalk onto a sheet of say 4′ x 8′ x 3/16″ steel. Now, all you need is a plasma or an oxy torch to create the large version.

    What would a horse cut from a 4′ x 8′ sheet sell for?

    $300 to $700. It would depend on where you are and how you market it. Marketing is a large part of any business. Good marketing is not hard – you can do it.

    You can see, if you could get a “business pipe” full of inventory and sales and you were delivering 2 horses a day, you could easily make $100k. The other major opportunity with big cut outs is gates. The key to all of this stuff in the art category is beautiful line drawings. If you are not an artist, hire one on the condition that they sign the copyright to you.

    There are endless ideas to utilize even your most basic welding skills from home to make an excellent living or just extra money. The trick is:

    Step A:

    Find what will work best for you.

    Step B:

    Write out a simple plan of attack. Don’t put the cart before the horse. Many small businesses fail because the owner gets all wrapped up in the details and loses site of what is important. Here is what is important: Don’t spend money – MAKE MONEY!

    Step C:

    The first rule of business is to GET NOTICED. That is also the end goal of all marketing – once you have enough eyeballs on you, you will succeed. The common mistake is to leave marketing for last while concentrating on every little rule and piece of paper. A business license will do you no good if you don’t make money! Save your money and get it (if you really need one) when you make some money. Towns and cities will simply say, “do you have a business license?” When they ask, say: “I’m getting one now.”

    Conclusion:

    You are blessed to live in a country where you can go from nothing to something in a hurry. However, to get anywhere in a hurry requires running hard. You’ll never regret it.

    What should you do next?

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    Source by Scott R. Linden

    Views: 0

  • An Ounce Of Help Is Better Than A Pound Of Preaching

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    It's very difficult to console someone who is down. Criticism won't help but a listening heart can. Feeling what someone else is going through is already a comfort. Understanding and empathy is better than a pound of preaching because of a mistake. Blaming won't help either. Though, it's easier to find fault with other people but it's different when your compassion is what they needed.

    Acknowledge that you understand the person's feelings. Sometimes people want to seek advice or a solution to their problem. But as seen, they usually want to vent their feelings. This is especially true for women. So, just listen. Let that the other person to talk, so that they can sort their feelings themselves; They may not even be able to articulate why they're feeling down, unless you draw it out of them.

    Never minimize their pain or try to cheer them up. When faced with tears, sometimes we insist that whatever they're upset about is no big deal. Don't trivialize their experience, but walk through it with them. Put yourself on their shoes so that you can easily understand what they've been through. Words may not be that trivial but the way you respond to a situation matters.

    Sometimes people don't want to talk and just want to be held in silence. They also just want to feel that they are not alone. So, your presence is already enough to comfort them. Even if you won't offer consoling words, the mere fact that you stay with them is already a relief.

    In such circumstance, the person typically feels better after having shared the burden in their heart, and the pain fades eventually. Having someone who is willing to listen and will never judge you despite your flaws is a gift. How on earth I survive life's struggle if I don't have a friend whom I can lean on especially when I am so down and depressed.

    Money is nothing compared to a friend who can help you without extending any monetary budget to you. If a problem is not resolve yet, she can offer you a solution to improve the situation without pressuring you to do it. She always listens. Even if she also has problems of her own.

    With someone who's sad not because of an isolated event, but because they suffer from disappointments, just talk to her and listen. Excess rumination is not only ineffective in alleviating depressed feelings, it can also worsen them.

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    Source by Rosemarie Sumalinog Gonzales

    Views: 0

  • Success With Emotional Intelligence

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    Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions and the emotions of other people in positive ways. Today we can clearly see that being only “book smart” and having a high intelligence quotient or IQ does not guarantee a successful, happy and fulfilled life. There are many people in all parts of the world who are very brilliant academically but are inept at dealing with people and successful at work or in their personal relationships. Academic intelligence is not enough on its own to be successful in life. IQ can help you get a job and earn a living, but it does not show you how to live a life. When it comes to happiness and success in life, emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your career and personal goals.

    Emotionally intelligent people are able to recognize their own emotional state and the emotional states of others and as a result they connect more easily with people. They therefore communicate better, form stronger relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life. John Gottman was right when he said “In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.”

    Emotional Intelligence consists of five basic components namely self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. The first three competencies are intra-personal and concern your ability to know and manage yourself. Empathy and social skills are inter-personal competencies and concern your ability to interact and get along with others. The better your intra-personal skills, the easier it becomes to express your inter-personal skills. Mastering these skills will allow you to live a better, happier and more successful and fulfilled life.

    Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to know which emotions you are feeling and why. When you understand your emotions, it is easier for you to acknowledge and control your emotions and prevent your feelings from ruling you. You also become more confident as you do not let your emotions get out of control. Being self-aware also enables you to take an honest look at yourself and better know your strengths and weaknesses, and work on these areas to achieve better outcomes for yourself and others.

    Self-Regulation is the ability to control your emotions and impulses and choose the emotions that you want to experience instead of being the victim of whatever emotions arise. When you are able to manage your emotional state, it becomes easier for you to think before you act and this prevents you from making impulsive and careless decisions. This skill also allows you to transform negative exhausting emotions into more positive and productive ones

    The third component of emotional intelligence is motivation. This is about using your emotions to remain positive, optimistic and persistent rather than negative and pessimistic. When you have a high degree of emotional intelligence you tend to be very motivated, productive and efficient in everything they do. You also use your emotions positively to take the right actions to persist and achieve your goals even in the face of considerable adversity or difficulty.

    Empathy is the fourth element of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to truly recognize and understand the feelings and point of view of people around you. Empathetic people usually possess the ability to listen effectively and accurately to others and are normally excellent at managing relationships, improving communication, building trust and relating to others.

    The fifth component of emotional intelligence is social skills. Emotionally intelligent people have good social skills and are excellent at building and maintaining relationships. When you are highly emotionally intelligent, you no longer focus on your own success first and you always have other’s best interests in mind. You always promote an environment where people cooperate with each other instead of compete with one another and you always help others develop and grow.

    Today emotional intelligence is a key to success in life and the good news is that whatever your actual level of emotional intelligence, you can improve it The best way to develop your emotional skills is through practice. You can then become more efficient at recognizing and managing your emotions as well as the emotions of others and lead a happier, more successful and fulfilled life. Always remember the wise words of Daniel Goleman who said, “What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ – not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”

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    Source by Priya Deelchand

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  • Poor Man Rich Soul – How to Enjoy the Richness of the Mind

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    If you are poor nonetheless, it does not matter if you know how to keep a mind full of richness. Trees do not have any bank accounts, credit cards, fancy cars or villas, do they? What they have are branches and leaves as well as that good soil to keep them growing. It would not matter if fall strips them bare for a few months, because they would survive again after that. It is great if we can learn this; that abundance did not spring from nothing and that keeping along matters a lot. Have not all trees started from a single seed? And it even requires courage, endurance and patience to keep growing. So here are some tips to bring forth that richness of the mind.

    Try Unit Spending
    When you find yourself not able to spend on many things or when you are constantly living on a budget, there is a way around it! What that means is for you to train your mentality to spend in an acceptable range based on your financial capacity. For example, if you are a person capable of spending in amount bearing up to thousands, then by all means spend one to two units less. That means, when you start spending in amounts of tens or hundreds, suddenly you find yourself capable of buying a lot more stuff! On the other hand, if you are person capable of spending in amount bearing up to hundreds, then by all means spend again one to two units less. That means spend in amounts of tens and below tens! You will find yourself a lot happier when you realize that there are still so many things out there that you can buy!

    If one of the keys to happiness is ultimate buying power, make it one that happens in relation to quantity instead of quality. At times when quality matters more, you can either realign a portion of your savings and go for the best options available or delay the purchase until the time and cost of the product falls at its optimal state. Consider buying in relation to quality only when necessary. After all market places deserve its fair chance of customer share. Certainly there are products that you could compromise easily on its quality, just be sure not to compromise those that should not be done so.

    Be a Good Person
    If you are usually a good person, chances are you can become popular among your friends and family. That notion itself is self reassuring. Less fear embedded in your mind as you already know, there are people willing to lend a helping hand still. Make sure you are a good person that has real, decent friends and that you have done your part when times are good. Say the down time is heavy, then what you should do is share those worries with your friends and family. Deeper bonded friendships will warm hearts and keep us going still. Bad times can also be perceived as an opening for new opportunities at bay. Work hand in hand and fight together to alleviate all sorrows due to poverty. Let all pass with good hope and constructive activities.

    A year older and a year wiser! Never outgrow this mentality. Learn and be wiser everyday. Find ways to manage problems or formulate strategies to overcome them slowly. Plant yourself to become one strong and healthy tree.

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    Source by Karen Chai

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  • Wrong Reasons For Getting Married – (1) Marrying Out of Sympathy

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    There are right and wrong reasons for getting married. The worst thing a person can do to oneself is to marry a wife or husband for the wrong reason. There are quite a number of wrong reasons why people marry. One of the wrong reasons and perhaps among the most prominent of the wrong reasons is marrying out of sympathy.

    There are many scenarios under this subheading of marrying out of sympathy that relationship coaches experience in the course of counseling and coaching. Some of the most common ones are when the woman gets pregnant as a result of premarital sex and getting married to a person just because one’s brother or sister jilted that person. Between these two extremes, are those who start relationships with girls who are being maltreated by those they serve. Some men get involved with the neighborhood maids or relations of their neighbors who are being maltreated. Women fall into this kind of challenge too.

    When sympathy forms the basis for a relationship with the opposite sex, it is like playing with a keg of gunpowder over a fireplace. Sympathy is a powerful emotion. It so overpowering that it becomes difficult for the parties involved to consider the critical elements in the foundation for a joyful relationship such as friendship, understanding, compatibility etc. If the man is the one sympathizing, he is so enamored into what he sees as the Good Samaritan’s job that he does not consider what stuff the woman is made off, her attitudes, desires and mindset. He does not stop to find out what life purposes she has, what goals she is focused on and how all these could jell into his own desires. If it is the woman that is sympathizing, she goes through the same emotions and also begins to think that if she saves the young man, he would remain loyal to her forever.

    Findings, however, have shown that the truth is far from what these sympathizer-lovers are thinking. If as a result of your efforts the captive is set free, he or she will do what all captives do, “flee”. Fleeing here may not mean running away from their sympathizer-lovers, though that has been known to happen with people who confess that the only feeling they had was to escape the environment. In many instances, the sympathizer-lovers begin to act as saviors and lordships. This is usually resisted, first psychologically and later verbally. And there goes your peace and comfort.

    Marriage relationship requires that both parties are open to each other. Open – meaning that there are no secrets in their hearts that the other partner would not be allowed into. Once these secret feelings are there, it produces reactive communication instead of responsive communication.

    These sympathy missions when it emanates from the premarital sex pregnancy, the woman does not fully get happy in the relationship. This arises from the fact that as the usual challenges appear in the scene, instead of the woman finding a good reason to endure; she only thinks she is in a mess occasioned by the pregnancy. Some have confessed that if they did not get pregnant, there is no way they would end up with the man they are married to. Instead of seeing the usual marriage and child rearing challenges as learning opportunities, they mortify themselves for getting pregnant. And some of the time, they blame the man for putting them in the family way. Some blame the child that resulted from the pregnancy. Hatred for a child has been known to have grown from such situations creating lasting bitterness.

    For the men, having not evaluated the character, demeanor, temperament of their spouse before marriage because of the overpowering influence of the emotion of sympathy, when the woman shows her real character, they are usually overwhelmed. They see themselves as having made terrible mistakes. They now live the rest of their lives in regret, withdrawal or wickedness or under the influence of these three negative but powerful emotions.

    It is necessary that we have it ingrained in the tablet of our hearts that the only reasons good enough for marrying anybody are the foundational elements for joyful relationship. If while in a relationship with the opposite sex there is no opportunity to build friendship and if an understanding of the basic purpose of marriage is not clear to both of you, then there is no other reason why the relationship should continue beyond the next few hours.

    Interestingly, many marriages out there are based on sympathy.

    Young single adults (18-30 years of age) and single adults (31 years and above) should not marry anybody for the purpose of saving face or to save somebody from suffering. Instead of cornering yourselves to this quagmire, why not follow the appropriate dating, courtship and engagement practices where no sexual intimacy is included. There is need to remember that sexual intimacy is only appropriate in a legally and lawfully wedded marriage contract. You need to remember that the basic purpose of sexual intimacy is mainly for procreation and to cement companionship.

    The excitement and pleasure that accompany sexual intercourse is purposed to invite people to take the responsibility that comes with it. Any other use of sexual intimacy outside legal and lawful matrimony is a transgression of the law. And law breakers must bear the full weight of the law. In most cases, there would be no external police to arrest you and no external court to try you and no external prison to sentence you. But there are internal version of the police, the court and the prison and a large farmland where your hard labor would be performed if you commit this offense.

    What is the way to go?

    Here is the way to go. Instead of focusing on sympathy, those planning to get married should focus on what matters most – the purpose of marriage – companionship and procreation. Remember the good Lord Himself said of Adam in the scriptures: “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), hence He made Eve to keep him company. Do not forget also that the same Creator gave them a commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). This is the creator’s approval for sexual intimacy in marriage relationship with the intents and purposes clearly spelled out, though. Latter-day prophets have clearly stated that “sex between a man and a woman in a legal and lawful marriage is ordained of God”. These are the foundational elements that must be established before continuing in the plan for marriage with someone. Both parties ought to know and understand this fully. This knowledge and understanding would bear relationships as the foundation of a building bears it. Marrying for any other reason is like standing the building on its roof.

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    Source by Francis Nmeribe

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