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Tag: Married

  • Thinking of Divorcing Your Spouse? Save Your Marriage Today

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    There are questions you need to ask yourself when you notice an initial problem in your marriage. Are you unhappy in your marriage and if so, why? Is your spouse happy? Do you experience pain or joy in your marriage? Why are you not happy now after you got married? Why did the happiness before marriage succeeding disappear?

    A lot of marriages were resolved after a series of questions the couples ask themselves. This is the time to think, discuss with your spouse solutions to problems in your relationship. The couples should realize that honesty plays a very important role in this regard.

    The couples should know that marriage is an institution. It is designed by God to help and support each other through sadness and happiness. Normally, there will definitely be some misunderstanding among the couples which may give rise to conflicts, but both of you should be determined that the marriage must work. With this determination, the Devil will find it difficult to penetrate into your marital affairs.

    When you notice that your marriage is about to hit the rock, you should start thinking of saving the marriage because it is quite difficult, frustrating and boring to live alone. The best thing is to save your marriage from total collapse.

    The first thing for the couple is to talk to each other and try to understand the problem when seeking solutions. This method, however, should work because if you were able to develop a love for each other then you should be able to resolve any marital issues on your own without involving any third party

    However, if this method fails the next option is to seek out an advice from friends, family or religious leaders. But the couple should critically examine this advice whether it is appropriate or not as wrong advice can destroy the relationships.

    The third option is to go for counseling which is always very effective in solving marital problems especially if the advice is from a professional counselor. They should, however, be truthful, and openly discuss their marriage problems to get an appropriate solution. In addition, attending marriage seminars can also help.

    The fourth advice is for the couple to agree for temporary separation. This method has helped so many couples around the world to solve their marriage problems which will enable them to experience the feelings of being separated before taking any final decision. Temporary separation is reversible and its main purpose is to develop the skills of resolving problems which will improve the relationship.

    Anyone of the above advice will surely help in saving your marriage from total collapse.

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    Source by Dr Olusola A Coker Ed.D

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  • Free Sex Is The Most Expensive

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    Have you ever had free sex? By free sex I mean one night stand sex, friends with benefits sex, we both know this isn’t going anywhere sex. How about now? You’ve probably never thought about it however, free sex maybe the most expensive sex you will ever have. It may cost you ever seeing your grandchildren, ever seeing your children; spending the last of your days alone…

    Have you ever met the perfect person? The dream person or are you still waiting to meet the perfect person? I submit we have all met the perfect person. the challenge is when the perfect person becomes the imperfect person. When they do something we don’t like, when they hurt us, when they don’t call us back, when they let us down.

    Everyone is perfect for the first 90 days it’s called the perfect phase. Some people live continually in the perfect phase. They’re called 90 day wonders. They meet someone, on the first day they have sex and every day thereafter. They spend all their time together. Until somewhere around the 90th day the perfect person becomes the imperfect person and they WONDER what happened.

    Then they call their forgotten best friend you; everyday, heartbroken, can’t believe it didn’t work out, convinced they can’t get over it until suddenly you don’t hear from them. Do you know what happened? They met another perfect person. On and on they go chasing mirage after mirage until at the end of their days they look back and the don’t see their grandchildren, they don’t see their children; and they spend the last of their days alone…

    Do you know what a man gives up when he commits, when he marries? Besides all the perfect free sex he thinks he could be having if he wasn’t married. Irresponsibility. He takes on responsibility; for others. Do you know what a woman gives up? Besides George Clooney. Independence.

    Together they form a interdependence. They commit to the relationship with an imperfect person. Then at the end of their days when they look back. They see their grandchildren, they see their children and at the end of their days they see each other.They’re not alone.

    Virtue and integrity are the foundations of love and a well lived life. The only way you know you love yourself or anyone else is by the commitments you are willing to make and keep. Sex is great it inspires us however love brings us home.

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    Source by James Allen Hanrahan

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  • My Husband Says He’s Miserable With Me and Isn’t Sure He Wants to Be Married – Insights to Help

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    Over the weekend, I received some correspondence from a wife who had noticed her husband acting cold and distant all weekend. He seemed to be picking fights, was clearly on edge and was showing body language and postures which indicated that something was very wrong. Of course, the wife asked him what was bothering him and he proceeded to answer with phrases like “nothing,” or “it’s just a bad day.”

    The wife was not happy with these responses and continued to press. The husband proceeded to withdrawal and act defensive. Finally, after the wife continued to follow him around and nag him, he angrily blurted out “can’t you see I’m miserable with you? If it weren’t for the kids, I’m not sure if I’d even want to be married to you.” The wife later regretted her response (which was to tell the husband that being married to him was no picnic either.)

    Later when they both calmed down, she asked him if he really meant what he said. The husband took a deep breath and said “I really don’t want to hurt you, but yes, I’m just not happy. I don’t know if it’s healthy for either of us to remain married.” The wife wanted my advice as to how she should proceed or act around him as he was clearly determined to sulk and complain. I will tell you what I told her in the following article.

    Determining What Responsibility A Wife Has In Her Husband’s Misery: The wife admitted that things weren’t perfect in her marriage. In fact, she had felt a distance growing in her marriage for some time. However, she would have never guessed that her husband was as miserable as he said he was. She suspected that he was projecting some disappointment and misery in other areas of his life and from his work onto their marriage.

    She may well have been right. This is actually quite a common occurrence. Much of the misery that he was feeling may not have initiated with her, but what was more important than it’s origin was the fact that he was equating his negative feelings with her and with the marriage. This may well be very unfair and even quite inaccurate. But, like it or not, this was her reality today and even she admitted that the marriage could use some improvement.

    So, while much of this may not have been her fault, there were certainly areas that she could address and improve. In a marriage that is working well, the spouse who is having issues with his job, his life, or his family will typically find solace and comfort in his spouse – rather than blaming her for the problem. The fact that he was doing just that indicated that there was a lot of room for improvement.

    So while the responsibility for the husband’s misery very likely did not lie totally with the wife, there was some opportunity to provide support and to let him know that she was there for him, willing to listen, and willing to help him in any way that she could – which is probably exactly what she would want for him to do if the roles were reversed.

    Beginning To Make Improvements In Your Marriage When You Husband Wants To Remain Alone In Being Miserable: When I explained some of these things with the wife, she was a bit resistant. She said that he was moping around so much that he might trip on his bottom lip. Granted, it can be hard to approach someone like this. But, she had pretty much been either ignoring him or trying to convince him either that he wasn’t as miserable as he thought, or that, if he was, this was his fault and not hers.

    Although this strategy is understandable, it’s not usually the most effective. The first step would be to calmly bring this out into the open and say your peace in a positive way that doesn’t continue to encourage or elicit his negative emotions. She might start by saying something like “I’m very sorry that you’re so unhappy right now. I love you and want for you to be happy. If there’s anything that I can do to help with this, I’m more than willing to do that. I can listen. I can offer support. I can make some shifts and changes if that’s what you need, but I can’t read your mind. Are you willing to talk about this so that we can come up with a plan to make this better?”

    I had no way to predict how the husband was going to react. I can tell you from previous experiences that some husbands will continue on with the negative act and say things like “it’s too late,” or “there’s nothing that you can do now.” Some men, though will begin to meet you half way even in the beginning. No matter what reaction you get, it’s very important that you respond in a positive manner. If they lash out, reply that you’re sorry to hear that and again offer your support. Eventually as you remain calm, supportive, and positive, it will become harder and harder to remain negative when you refuse to engage them.

    If they do tell you some things that might help, by all means meet them half way and do what you can to make things better. Although not all of this is your fault, it will only benefit both you and your marriage if you can lighten the tension, begin to identify and work on the issues, and to be the spouse that you would want your husband to be to you if the roles were reversed. If you can do this, it’s highly likely that all of the “ending the marriage” talk will begin to eventually lessen also.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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