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  • Book Summary: Unlimited Wealth – Theory and Practice of Economic Alchemy by Paul Zane Pilzer

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    The basics of economics are supply, demand and scarcity. Economics best describes how to divide these scarce resources up amongst a growing population. Paul Pilzer takes a very different approach to Economics. He believes in Unlimited Wealth and shows examples of why technology and human ingenuity are the keys that unlock that wealth.

    Why is this important to me?

    I am not doing this summary to waste your time. It is my vision to provide concise action steps that you can adopt right now to enhance your financial life. Paul Pilzer writes of unlimited wealth creation. His spin is Alchemy is the creation of wealth while Economics is simply the method for moving it around.

    I am really intrigued by the concept of unlimited wealth creation. If you look at human progress in free societies, the real difference has been in creation. Commodities and resources are in fact finite but the way we use them is what is unlimited. The ideas are unlimited. An acre of land today produces far more food than an acre a generation ago.

    Unlimited Wealth discusses several major topics. For the sake of time, I will review the salient points outlined by Paul.

    1. Supply Side Alchemy – The Wealth Equation: W=PT^n – This equation means – W (Wealth) = P (Physical Resources) x T (Technology) to the nth power where n is the effects of the technological advances. The expansion of physical resources depends on the technological advances. Supply side Alchemy consists of three laws. The key to this equation is what Paul calls the third law of Alchemy – The rate at which a society’s technology advances is determined by the relative level of its ability to process information. Let’s look at how society has progressed based on the third law of Alchemy. Humans figured out how to write, then the printing press was created, then the computer was created and purchasable by the average consumer. Now we have the internet, social media, search engines and everything else to share knowledge. The speed of information exchange is exponential hence so is our level of wealth.

    2. Demand Side Alchemy – The demand side alchemy consists of the fourth and fifth laws. The fourth law states – By providing us with new products and processes that change the way in which we live, technology determines what constitutes a need, and hence the nature of consumer demand. In a nutshell, demand can be created by creating and innovating new products. Apple is on its way to be the first company to hit a Trillion dollar valuation. All of their products were created first and then the demand came from it.

    3. Sixth Law of Alchemy – The immediate economic potential for an individual, an industry or society can be explained by examining the technology gap, the best practices possible with current knowledge, and the practices in actual use. This is important today because China and India are way ahead of the U.S. in terms of science and math. Technology strives on science and math and societies that adapt it faster will create wealth faster. This is where the balance of power can shift over time.

    Unlimited Wealth is definitely a controversial study based on regular Economics theory. Since I am in the technology field, I agree with Paul that Unlimited Wealth can be created through technology and innovation. Products are being created right now that no market exists. Some of these products will fall flat while others will explode. Take a look at Facebook. This company came from nowhere and is now valued at over $50 billion.

    I hope you have found this short summary useful. The key to any new idea is to work it into your daily routine until it becomes habit. Habits form in as little as 21 days. One thing you can take away from this book is scarcity is a negative mind set. I say this because if you believe in unlimited wealth creation then ideas will flourish.

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    Source by Joe Mosed

    Views: 0

  • Ann Sieg’s – The Renegade Network Marketer – A Review

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    If you’re looking for a novel, convenient, and effective way to do network marketing, The Renegade Network Marketer from Ann Sieg may just be what you’re looking for.

    What You Won’t Do with the Renegade Network Marketing System

    Once you become a renegade network marketer, you can permanently say goodbye to all the things about network marketing that you hated. This includes but isn’t limited to nagging your family, loved ones, and strangers to take up a business opportunity they truly aren’t interested in as well as performing recruiting activities that never worked in the first place.

    With the Renegade Network Marketer from Ann Sieg, all those will simply be a fading memory of the past.

    What You Can Learn from the Renegade Network Marketing System

    You’re probably thinking that getting hold of this system would cost you money, and you’re right. But what you probably never expected is receiving so much more than what you’ve paid for. Here are just a few things you can expect to enjoy once you’ve got this system running for your network marketing business.

    Remote Control Selling

    Did you ever imagine it could be possible to use the same amount of time for selling to just one person to sell to a thousand? With the Renegade Network Marketer, remote control selling isn’t a dream but a reality. Even better, not just you but your distributors as well can make use of the system, consequently multiplying your income a hundred fold!

    Step by Step Strategy

    Didn’t you hate how so many “effective” systems couldn’t manage to effectively teach you even one simple lesson? Well, color the Renegade Network Marketer different. Knowing the difficulties that newcomers to MLM face, Ann Sieg made sure to break down her strategies for network marketing step by step. In fact, it’s so easy to understand that you can immediately pass on what you’ve learned to your downline.

    Kill Your Competition

    Network marketing is a tough nut to crack and competition can be terribly fierce. But once you become a renegade network marketer, you’ll have in your palm the key to driving your competition away…and you won’t even have to sweat for it!

    Successful Lead Generation

    Network marketing success always has its roots in profitable lead generation. It is the first and most important technique you should learn, and it’s certainly one of the major focuses of the renegade network marketing system.

    A Marketing Pipeline

    Just imagine how wonderful your life could be if all your prospects were sold on your idea even before you made a pitch. If you’re wondering how that could happen, you only have to sign up for Ann Sieg’s the Renegade Network Marketer and you’ll not only learn how it happens, but you can experience it, too!

    Make Them Believe You

    Last but most important of all, Ann Sieg uses the Renegade Network Marketer to share her best kept secret – one that every MLM associate would die to know: make your prospects believe you. Network marketing hasn’t enjoyed a positive reputation for quite some time, but don’t let that get you down. If you play by the renegade’s book, your prospects are sure to have faith in your words.

    All those are just the tip of the iceberg of what lies in store for you behind the pages of The Renegade Network Marketer.

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    Source by Dave Jales

    Views: 1

  • What Is the DXY Dollar Index?

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    The DXY is an indicator that many market watchers and commentators reference and quote. So what is the DXY or US Dollar index?

    The DXY is a geometrically weighted index of some of the major trading partners of the United States. The composition if the DXY Index is heavily weighted towards the Euro and European countries that have not joined the European common market. The components of the DXY Index are (by weighting): Euro (57.6%), Japanese Yen (13.6%), Great Britain- Pounds Sterling (11.9%), Canadian Dollar (9.1%), Swedish Krona (4.2%), and Swiss Franc (3.6%). Because of the composition of the DXY, it is sometimes referred to as the Anti-Euro Index.

    The DXY is a convenient index to use as a simple method for referencing strength and weakness of the US Dollar (USD). But its ubiquity disguises the fact that it does not reflect the value of the dollar against a broad enough basket of currencies. The DXY was created by JP Morgan in 1973, and it has only been updated once, for the introduction of the Euro currency.

    The DXY is heavily weighted towards European currencies, it underweight’s the Canadian Dollar, as a proportion of US trade, and it largely ignores important Asian and Pacific trading partners, including Korea, Australia, Taiwan and necessarily China. Even if one were interested in including the Chinese Renminbi (Yuan) it would be both difficult and of questionable informational value to include the Renminbi because China keeps their currency pegged to a range that is based on the dollar.

    A more accurate basket of currencies to track the relative value of the USD would be to value the dollar against the top US trading partners. The top 6 US trading partners, from high to low are: Canada, China, Mexico, Japan, Germany and the UK. It’s hard to say why JP Morgan created this index and how it came into such prominence. One odd thing about this index is you cannot trade it. There is no market that you can go to and buy the DXY. The closest you can get are futures and options contracts traded on the InterContinental Exchange (ICE).

    If it’s so inaccurate, then why is it so widely quoted? While there are more accurate ways to benchmark the USD, absolute precision is not always important for an indicator. Many traders and institutions likely have their own indices that they use to track the USD, but for the sake of comparison, it is very convenient to have a common index. The DXY is also highly correlated to a trade-weighted index most of the time. Relative strength or weakness moves by the USD represents huge flows of money. As I’ve written previously, the recent +10% move by the DXY represents more than $1 trillion of nominal wealth destruction. Moves of this magnitude do not happen in a vacuum and the relative weakness of the DXY is mirrored by corresponding weakness in the trade-weighted index.

    While there are shortcomings, the DXY does serve as a reliable indicator of USD strength and weakness and can be used as such, as long as one keeps in mind that it will occasionally be skewed if there are large currency moves that occur in the Euro.

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    Source by Christian Koch

    Views: 0

  • Welding Jobs: Ideas You Can Use At Home To Make Money Welding (No Boss While You Make $100,000)

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    What if you could make $100,000 a year welding from home?

    What if you could make even an extra $500 a month from home, using your current skills? If you are a welder with basic welding skills and you are between jobs or you are being under paid in your current job, it might be worth your time to read this article – let’s think outside the box for just a minute on how you can make money welding from home.

    From Home Welding # 1:

    Teaching or tutoring any skill is a very profitable business. In any town of any size you’ll see at least one tutoring business in a strip mall brick and mortar location. In that same town will be at least a dozen other tutors working from home, making good money.

    Yes, most of the time they are tutoring math and reading to students. Lean back and think about what skills you have that can also be used in a tutoring business you can set up and milk cash from, like milk from a cow.

    Let’s say you are good enough with TIG to weld razor blades or pop can butts.

    If you can teach a non welder to operate a TIG torch good enough to go on and practice on their own at their home in about 3 hours of your hands on theirs – they will pay up to $100 an hour for 3 hours of TIG instruction. Just 2 students a day would bring you $100,000 a year. If you think I’m kidding I’m NOT! There are many reasons why education is so valuable – and that includes intense, focused tutoring in welding.

    6G pipe welding is the highest paid of all welding certifications – most 6G welders make $100k to $300k a year – and demand is crazy. However, if you are a 6G welder and you want to stay home, you can set up and teach 6G in your garage. Let’s say you do this with 7 students, each paying you $10,000 for a 3 month course. Yes, they will pay it – especially if you show them how they will have more time with your hand on theirs (the #1 secret to learning 6G fast).

    From Home Welding # 2:

    I was in Palm Springs the other day. I have been in and around the trades for 30 years… and when you see a tradesman’s truck and it is late model without dents or many scratches, clean, organized and well equipped, it means (99% of the time) that guy is making money.

    I pulled up to a light behind just such a truck – “Joe’s BBQ Service and Repair.” That’s it – that is all Joe does. He will weld cast aluminum or steel. He’ll clean and polish. He’ll replace a burner or a control. OR he’ll buy your old unit and sell / or sell you a new one.

    Yes, you need a town with a lot of high end BBQs. Other than that, go get it.

    From Home Welding # 3:

    Large steel cut outs. In art of all kinds, size matters. For example, 20 years ago we purchased two 4′ long coat racks – each is a piece of 1.5″ x 1.5″ x 1/8″ angle 4′ long with 6 horse shoes welded to the angle to hang the coats.

    On the horizontal surface of the angle is welded a scene made of 7 horse and 7 tree cut-outs. We paid $185 for each of these 20 years ago… that would be about $300 a piece in today’s dollars.

    The problem with you making these is that the 14 cut outs on each unit are too small too many to cut by hand – you need a computerized plasma table to make these.

    Here is where the magic of size makes all the difference.

    The artist who drew the cut outs on our coat rack was good. Each of the 7 horses is different and beautiful, as well as the trees. Any – or all of these – cut outs can be scaled up with chalk onto a sheet of say 4′ x 8′ x 3/16″ steel. Now, all you need is a plasma or an oxy torch to create the large version.

    What would a horse cut from a 4′ x 8′ sheet sell for?

    $300 to $700. It would depend on where you are and how you market it. Marketing is a large part of any business. Good marketing is not hard – you can do it.

    You can see, if you could get a “business pipe” full of inventory and sales and you were delivering 2 horses a day, you could easily make $100k. The other major opportunity with big cut outs is gates. The key to all of this stuff in the art category is beautiful line drawings. If you are not an artist, hire one on the condition that they sign the copyright to you.

    There are endless ideas to utilize even your most basic welding skills from home to make an excellent living or just extra money. The trick is:

    Step A:

    Find what will work best for you.

    Step B:

    Write out a simple plan of attack. Don’t put the cart before the horse. Many small businesses fail because the owner gets all wrapped up in the details and loses site of what is important. Here is what is important: Don’t spend money – MAKE MONEY!

    Step C:

    The first rule of business is to GET NOTICED. That is also the end goal of all marketing – once you have enough eyeballs on you, you will succeed. The common mistake is to leave marketing for last while concentrating on every little rule and piece of paper. A business license will do you no good if you don’t make money! Save your money and get it (if you really need one) when you make some money. Towns and cities will simply say, “do you have a business license?” When they ask, say: “I’m getting one now.”

    Conclusion:

    You are blessed to live in a country where you can go from nothing to something in a hurry. However, to get anywhere in a hurry requires running hard. You’ll never regret it.

    What should you do next?

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    Source by Scott R. Linden

    Views: 0

  • The Psychology of Drug Addiction

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    There is, of course, a reason why people become addicted to drugs. The psychological aspect of addiction is extremely powerful. The human mind is a marvellous thing, and the thoughts we have can become all-ruling in our lives.

    Because we are these complex creatures, with thinking and reasoning capabilities, we can often discount the mind as only a small part of what we are. This is totally wrong, and in fact the psychiatric implications of drug use (or more properly drug abuse) are ever present, and can cause major disruption in the life of an addict.

    So just what exactly are we talking about here? The psychological aspects of the mind, and how it can control our lives, has been well known to professionals in the field for many years. For example, if one is the child of an addict, be it drugs, alcohol, or whatever, your own mind will rapidly justify to you the use of these substances as being OK. Let’s face it, you love your parents and if they are doing it then it’s got to be allright and can’t possibly be bad for you. You are in effect brainwashing yourself.

    Of course, as we know from proven scientific research, it is a fact that drugs have an effect on the brain. It becomes a brain problem. Drug abusers brains get so used to having these chemicals in them that sooner or later, depending on the substance, they actually “talk” themselves into needing those chemicals to function, and so the brain gives the body various (withdrawal) symptoms in order to get those chemicals.

    So what can be done to try to beat the psychological side of drug addiction? Getting help is a tried and tested method. Talking to a trained drug abuse counsellor, or other health professional is agood start to finding ways to overcomes your addiction.

    Wherever you are, there are many excellent programs available to those with a problem with substance misuse. The best of these will treat both the mind and the body. Because, as we already know, when you initially try to reduce your dependence on drugs, your mind will give your body a variety of withdrawal symptoms in order to get its “fix”. However, with professional help it is possible to successfully break the hold that drug addiction has on your body, your mind, and your life.

    It’s not strictly necessary to go into a rehabilitation facility. However it is proven that this method is very effective. These facilities can be expensive, as also can psychologists/psychiatrists. However, most long term drug abusers find that if they work it out they are spending over a period of time far more on their habit than the cure would cost, and the benefits to your wallet can easily be calculated. Even if it’s impossible to put a price on your future wellbeing.

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    Source by Chris Haycock

    Views: 0

  • 4 Benefits of Using the Cash for Cars Service

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    Selling an old car is often a hectic and tiring process. There are many things that need to be sorted if you plan to find a buyer, such as making repairs, getting it serviced and having the proper paperwork. However, there is a much simpler solution to get rid of an old car and still get a little money for it. Let’s take a look at are a few of the top benefits of using the cash for cars service:

    Fast and easy cash

    Using the cash for cars service is likely to offer the quickest opportunity to earn a little money when it comes to selling an old car. They offer payment at the time of removing the car and will even take a car that is in a terrible condition and beyond repair. The neglected cars are still acceptable to these businesses because they are able to appreciate that there is still value in the many different components and materials that can be removed and reused.

    Efficient removals

    A further great benefit is the ability to use a service that removals a car for free. The alternative options like trades-ins or private selling often mean taking a car to a specific location, such as a dealership. This option may not be appropriate for everyone, especially for those cars that aren’t in a roadworthy condition. The cash for cars service will take on full responsibility of removing a car which can take place at a time that is convenient.

    Benefits the environment

    This type of service can have a major benefit to the environment because it can have a positive effect on the number of vehicles that are left to deteriorate on a landfill site. Over the long-term this can have a very negative impact on the environment. However, the more eco-friendly option is to salvage the many parts of a car which can easily be recycled. Also, any waste that is left over will be disposed of in a friendly manner.

    Less stress and trouble

    The option to use the cash for cars service is likely to be one of the less stressful options to get rid of something you no longer need. If you try to find a buyer for an old or neglected car, there is a need to complete the necessary repairs and get the body fixed to an acceptable standard. This can be a time-consuming process and cost money. Also, there is the need to have the relevant paperwork. However, when you are simply having the car removed from your property, there is no need to worry about repairs because it will be accepted as is.

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    Source by Leo Eigenberg

    Views: 0

  • A Review of the Protege Financial Multi-Level Marketing Program

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    The company Protege Financial first registered their domain name in June 2006, although this is the first time I’ve heard of this company. They are based out of Valencia, CA. I’m very familiar with that area of Orange County being a Southern California native myself. The main reason this company exists is to provide their clients with investment vehicles that will not go away despite the bad economy.

    The partners that make up this company are Michelle Seward, Scott Foulk and Mark Francovich which claim to have 4 decades of investment and financial know how behind them. The owners also state they launched Protege Financial because they really care about their clients and set this company up with an MLM Compensation Plan to help spread the word across the United States. Apparently they officially just launched July 4th 2009.

    Apparently these 3 partners have already helped thousands of clients. When I visited their website they do have their actual office address, phone and fax number prominently visible on their website, so it appears they are not hiding. One of the main products they offer their clients are “Tax Free Income” vehicles that people can use to help hedge the low wages they could experience when they retire.

    When I visit the Protege Financial website, I don’t see any credential logos like CFP (Certified Financial Planner) or BBB (Better Business Bureau) or anything like that nor any Internet Trust Logos. I’m not a professional Website Designer and I could throw this website up within one night easy. The company that designed their site is based out of Idaho. Also I couldn’t find details on how much reps get paid for referrals or the MLM Compensation Structure.

    In addition, the website just had those generic type paid videos which appear to be a standard voiceover. I’ve heard the same voice on many other voiceovers used for other companies so they don’t sound original or sound like they come from the owners. And no pictures of the owners on the website, not even with their bio statements.

    This being the end of August 2009 and the fact that they launched launched July 4th 2009, I assume this site would have been completed by now. Add this to the fact that it is an investment company to be honest almost terrifies me. Money is hard to come by these days, and on the occasion when I am able to save a grand or so I like to put it in a Mutual Fund setup by my bank which is a major bank in the US.

    Protege Financial does offer a free consultation. When you get to the website, all you need to do is fill out a form and someone will end up calling you back. And if you live in or are visiting Southern California, they have Career Opportunity Meetings every Thursday evening from 7:00 to 9:00pm (as of the time of this writing) Pacific Time.

    I noticed a testimonials section on the Protege Financial website. It had 7 testimonials with just two initials under each name. Finally the company offers a free eBook just by filling out your Name, Email, City and State. This eBook is supposed to educate you on the basic types of Investment Vehicles that are out there.

    I’m not accusing this company of being a scam. They could very well be experienced financial planners with little experience on establishing credibility on the internet with trust logos, pictures of themselves, write-ups of successful reps in their company, etc.. But this is even more important in Network Marketing. I would be extremely cautious here. If anyone has had any experiences, good or bad with this company, we would like to hear about them and you can post your comments on our blog.

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    Source by Brian Garvin

    Views: 0

  • A Beautiful Mind – Nobel Prize Winning Doctor John Nash

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    “Nothing’s ever for sure, John. That’s the only sure thing I do know,” says the schitzotypical auditory plus visual delusion and hallucination known to John Nash as Charles. This is very true even coming from one of these three imaginary people that John Nash believes to be a part of his daily life. Although non-existent these characters including not only Charles, but his adolescent niece Marcie, and his military contact William Parcher or just Parcher, play a pivotal role in the life of professor and doctor, John Nash.

    True, much of what the public knows of the mental disorders, and specifically Schizophrenia is based on what they observe from films and television. This Oscar/Academy four time wining film, A Beautiful Mind, is a very compelling story about a genius mathematician/ cryptologist, who’s life in Cold War era America, aroused his super paranoid and delusional thought process to overwhelm his mind.

    ONSET:

    John Nash exhibited mild symptoms or schitzotypal behavior probably through his childhood. This is evident because of his avoidant personality shown by his impeded interpersonal communication and relationships, and by his moderate “word salad” that he has. His hallucinations and delusions manifested initially by his graduate school Princeton roommate Charles.

    His peers played a crucial role in his life and in his recovery. Once stabilized to a level of acceptance and coping with his symptoms he is given visitations and job opportunities to help him in reintegration. Through the entire relations ship from student to wife, Alicia Nash was interceptive and supportive of his treatment and life after treatment, including a dangerous relapse of behaviors.

    Also, his peers did not initially know how to respond to the disorder because of John Nash’s involvement with the US government. It may have opaque at times but eventually they could make light of the situation once Nash was coping and stable.

    THE PLOT THICKENS?:

    John Nash almost killed his baby son by drowning him in the tub during his major relapse. He had been pocketing the medication and eventually he regained his code breaking and psychotic behaviors. He was in the back shed while drawing the bath and got caught up in what was allegedly provided by Parcher and the US governments’ highest echelons.

    + Symptoms= Racing thoughts, Hallucinations, Delusions

    – Symptoms= Cognitive impairment, grossly distorted reality

    (Axis I and Axis II)

    RETURN TREATMENT:

    Nash was able to eventually be stabilized on his psychotropic medications and with time and strong encouragements able to cope. This was abruptly made evident by his realization that the manifestation of Marcie never aged and paired his wife’s’ strong endearment and optimism towards him.

    Self Reliance was key to his rehabilitation and integration back into society. Aside from a strong support network he found that working in his field of abstract mathematics was his tool for learning interpersonal relationships and separating reality from his reality.

    The Nobel Prize was a major pat on the back for John Nash. Although he did not know the extent of his economic theories had spilled over into, Nash was still acknowledged for his intelligence. It is his life time achievement and it is he can observe that his life was great, not grandiose.

    PAST & PRESENT THEORIES:

    Although many scientific advancement have been made in psychology and imaging techniques treatment has not evolved juristically. Although doctors can now see the brain functioning and areas of brain used in a schizophrenic person the treatment is somewhat similar to that of the 1950’s. ECT, medication, hospitalization, and reintegration are the keystones of treatment for the stabilizing of this mental disorder. Then a medical round of SSRI’s and atypical anti-psychotics are used to maintain an even keel. Hospitalization is a safe way to intervene on an individual although laws have changed regarding commitment of those deemed unsafe for society. ECT has been modernized and more finite now and can be used to treat a plethora of moderate to severe mental disorders. Also, SSRI’s are more affective and paired with support many will stay stable.

    Once John Nash was known to be schizophrenic his friends help with the families clarification of his advanced symptoms. Then they slowly allow him back into his life with some initial hesitance that eventually will turn into a subject of laughter between old friends. Although some were intolerant and mocking of his disorder and effort he was able to maintain a level of functioning on the normal plane of societal existence and even win the highest scientific achievement award.

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    Source by J Greenes

    Views: 0

  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

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    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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    Source by Mandy Peterson

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