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  • Terminal Wealth Dispersion, Life Expectancy and Individual Retirement Accounts

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    Terminal wealth dispersion is the technical term that describes the variability of the future value of investment portfolios. This inevitable variability means that no one knows what the value of their investment portfolio will be when they reach retirement age or at any time during their retirement. And the uncertainty of individual’s life expectancies compounds this problem.

    Hedging against the risks associated with these two factors places an onerous burden on individuals. Although this hedging could result in a very comfortable retirement, if one can afford the hedge and their timing is right, the potential downside risk is so great that it may be deemed unacceptable by many individuals. So one has to ask “Do individuals really prefer to forgo a sure but modest retirement income and play the odds with their retirement savings in hopes of being very well off in retirement?”

    With individual accounts, individuals lose the benefit of the pooling of risks. The two risks that force individuals to over-save are investment risk and the risk of living beyond the average life expectancy. In both cases the outcomes, terminal wealth and life span, are highly variable. When the risks are pooled for a large number of individuals over many overlapping life spans, the average outcomes are highly predictable, which is what makes traditional pension plans work so well.

    Traditional pension plans exist, for all intents and purposes, in perpetuity. This being the case, they can build reserves during good times in the financial markets and weather the bad times, thus enabling them to make consistent payouts to retirees regardless of the timing of their retirement. Unfortunately, individuals do not get to choose their holding periods or the years of their retirement and must take whatever comes along, and what comes along might be good or it might be bad. Thus individuals must set savings goals that are sufficiently high to hedge against the risk of the average return of an investment portfolio over its holding period falling well short of that which would be expected very long term.

    The relatively short duration of individual’s holding periods leave them very susceptible to the effects of market cycles, which are notoriously unpredictable in amplitude and frequency. Being broadly diversified mitigates this risk but does not eliminate it, as it’s entirely possible for a worldwide bear market to occur during one’s holding period. Then at the end of the holding period for wealth accumulation, a second holding period begins, which will be the term of retirement, and this second holding period carries the same risks as the first, but at a time in life when there is no source of income to make up for portfolio under-performance.

    The other component of risk that individuals must hedge is the risk represented by the uncertainty of one’s life span, which means that individuals must aim even higher when setting their savings goals. The managers of large pension plans can depend on retirees living on average for only the average life expectancy of employees who reach retirement age. The average life expectancy for someone who reaches the age of 66 is currently 82 years, and 66 is currently the age when workers are eligible for full Social Security benefits, which makes it a reasonable baseline. Based on those assumptions, the average term of retirement would be 18 years and pension plans should only have to be funded to the extent necessary to cover the cost of this average term of retirement.

    Individuals, however, don’t know how long they’re going to live, so they must over-save to ensure that they don’t run out of money before they run out of time. This need to over-save is independent of the first need, thus the need to over-save is compounded, i.e., an individual needs to save enough to cover the cost of living well beyond the average life expectancy and the targeted amount of savings at retirement age must be great enough to ensure with a reasonably high level of certainty that the actual amount on hand at retirement is at least the bare minimum necessary to get by on.

    A popular estimate of the term of retirement for which individuals must plan is 30 years. Saving enough to cover the cost of a 30-year retirement is a much greater burden than saving for an 18-year retirement, but planning on a shorter retirement exposes individuals to tremendous risk. It also exposes taxpayers to tremendous risk, as individuals who outlive their savings will undoubtedly require some form of public assistance to make ends meet and are likely to become wards of the state when they become physically incapable of caring for themselves.

    An individual who bases their retirement saving on living to the age of 96 but only lives to be 82 will have forgone a lot of pleasures in life, such as travel, fine dining and better vehicles, that they could otherwise have enjoyed. But many individuals just don’t have the level of income required to support the saving rate necessary to amass the wealth required to hedge against the downside of terminal wealth dispersion and the possibility of living well past the average life expectancy. For them it’s not a matter of forgone consumption, it’s a matter of going through life with the knowledge that they are likely to spend their golden years living in abject poverty and that that will be their reward for 40 or 50 years of hard work. And it gets worse!

    Some economists now believe that within 15 years or so, given the current rate of health care inflation, 100% of Social Security benefits will be spent on medical expenses: Medicare Parts B and D premiums, copayments, uncovered expenses and medigap insurance premiums. If that becomes the case, anyone without substantial savings or a defined benefit pension will be looking for public assistance the day after they retire. Although this is probably a worse case scenario, there is a general consensus that individuals retiring today will need to set aside approximately $180,000 for medical expenses not covered by basic Medicare.

    With the situation already at this state, adding private Social Security accounts to the mix would be like throwing gas on a fire, as individual Social Security accounts carry the same risks as other individual retirement accounts. Those who have tried to kill Social Security since its inception find private accounts very appealing. But, not so coincidentally, most of them seem to be in the enviable position of not needing Social Security to support their retirement. More recently, younger workers, too, have come to oppose Social Security, but not for the same reason as the traditional opponents. Young workers may be crushed by the growing burden of Social Security and may never receive any benefits from the system. Those who oppose Social Security simply because it’s a social program should be expending their efforts on reforming it rather than killing it.

    If Social Security had been managed like a pension plan rather than the ilconceived system it is, with today’s workers paying for yesterday’s workers’ retirement, its current situation wouldn’t be so dire. Indeed, it might very well be a fully funded, functional system. CalPERS and other large public employee retirement plans have operated successfully for decades, with success being defined as being able to meet their obligations, not having an adverse effect on the financial markets, no scandalous events attributable to malfeasance by the plans’ sponsors and being free of influence from elected officials. There’s no reason that Social Security can’t also be managed in such a manner. It would literally take an act of Congress to do this, but the hardest part for Congress would be letting the system run without their interfering with its operation.

    Passing off the burden of retirement to individuals was a great deal for corporations but it’s a very poor deal for most individuals, and extending individual accounts to include the Social Security system would only make a bad situation worse. It’s not a poor deal for all individuals because there will be some who can afford to save a substantial portion of their income and whose holding periods will coincide with bull markets, thus putting their wealth in the upper range of their terminal wealth dispersion, and who also live a long, healthy life. They will be the ones who benefit from over-saving and living beyond the average life expectancy, but they may end up forfeiting a portion of their wealth in the form of taxes to support the less fortunate. I don’t believe that is what the public expects from a well-conceived system.

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    Source by Mike Kennedy

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  • Holistic Healthcare versus Traditional Western Medicine

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    The Western medicine community recently asked the question: Will Alternative Healthcare, a.k.a. Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Western Medicine (WM) merge? This question implies there is reason to wonder and/or we need to consider the benefits a merger might create. The consideration of merging Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Western Medicine is analogues to comparing apples to oranges. The only comparison between apples and oranges is that they are both fruit–but the comparison ends there. Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit Healing and Western Medicine is diametrically polar opposites with nothing in common, except the subject (you). I will explain.

    In order to understand the ideology of Western Medicine, you need to examine the language used by doctors and researchers. Their choice of words reveals their belief systems and the models they use to understand the way they think healing works. When observing the state of Western Medicine and the unprecedented influence of pharmaceuticals and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs, an interesting paradox arises. The drug companies claim that pharmaceuticals and OTC can do wonders for people: lower cholesterol, end clinical depression, reverse osteoporosis, eliminate allergies, cure cancer, cure MS, calm children and many other similar promises.

    If prescription or OTC drugs are so good for people, where are all the healthy medicated customers? The truth is, there aren’t, any. There’s nobody taking twelve prescriptions or OTC drugs with a clean bill of health. In fact, the more prescriptions a person takes, the worse their overall health. And if you approach the healthiest people you can find and ask what prescription drugs or OTC drugs they’re taking in order to be so healthy, they’ll give you a confused look: Healthy people don’t take prescription or OTC drugs!

    This sort of language is not uncommon from researchers in Western Medicine. They perceive the human body as a battleground on which wars are waged against invaders (viruses, bacterial infections and tumors). Beginning with the Victorian era, Western society has become addicted to quick fixes and results with no effort. Western Medicine has in some instances provided this result. When Western Medicine doesn’t produce a ‘quick fix’ result the answer is: “Sorry, it couldn’t be helped–the surgery was a success, the patient died.” It is interesting to note the AMA reports a dismal success rate–approximately 250,000 people die each year due to misdiagnosis and/or the treatment does little or nothing to improve the person’s health. In other words these people didn’t die due to an illness they died due to the wrong treatment.

    Western Medicine’s theory and doctrines fail to recognize that diseases are not separate from the person. In fact every disease can be more accurately called an expression of the patient’s lifestyle, beliefs, and energies. Cancer is not a tumor, for example: it is a systemic disorder that can only truly be cured by helping to support the body, not by attacking it with chemical bombs or knives. The tumor is merely one physical expression of the systemic disorder, and simply removing the tumor does nothing to cure the disease. The body is designed to heal itself–given it has the proper care–nutrition, herbal supplements, spiritual and emotional well-being.

    The body is designed to heal itself provided it has the proper support to do its job. Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) is based on a concept of balanced qi (pronounced “chee”), or vital energy, that is believed to flow throughout the body. Qi is proposed to regulate a person’s spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical balance and to be influenced by the opposing forces of yin (negative energy) and yang (positive energy). Disease is proposed to result from the flow of qi being disrupted and yin and yang becoming imbalanced. Among the components of TCM are herbal and nutritional therapy, restorative physical exercises, meditation, acupuncture, and remedial massage.

    Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing has existed since the beginning of time amid religious beliefs and practices, along with the mystery, superstition, fear, and misunderstanding. Holistic Healing is now becoming recognized regardless of what anyone chooses to believe or think. Ask almost anyone about their spiritual well-being and they will probably tell you, “Yeah, I am a spiritual person, I go to church frequently.” Therein, the confusion arises out of the association of healing with religion. The majority of people, including religious leaders, do not understand the difference.

    Definition: “HEAL” 1. To restore to health or soundness, 2. To set right, repair, 3. To restore a person to spiritual wholeness, 4. To become whole and sound, to return to health.

    Definition: “SPIRIT” 1. The vital principle or animating force within living beings, Incorporeal consciousness. There are about twelve more elaborations mostly to do with various religious implications.

    Definition: “RELIGION” 1. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe, 2. A set of beliefs, values and practices based on the teachings of a religious doctrine.

    Thus, based on Western Medicine’s common interpretations of how things ‘ARE’, many paradoxes are created. The resultant effect is confusion and un-wellness. The Truth, as Carl Jung and others have carefully worded in their writing, is this: Every Thing in the universe is Energy and Consciousness. How anyone thinks or feels about that Fact cannot change it. The purpose of All religions is the recognition that humans have a part of themselves that is not physical and there is a need to explore and experience this aspect of themselves. Part of the intent is to discover one’s purpose and to live in the best way possible. Another part of that goal also includes the attainment of Truth and Spiritual Wellness. However, the result of religious teachings with regard to our Spiritual health has been an abysmal failure. If the most important aspect of our being is our Spiritual self, and it has been neglected, it is a miracle we have existed this long.

    Many churches are in a state of extreme confusion in an attempt to avoid accepting the “Truth.” The greatest struggle is how to incorporate all the now known knowledge and assimilate it into the religious dogma and theology. The problem is the impossibility of reconciling the obvious flaws in most theology and doctrine. The obvious shortcomings and how political and nationalistic and other special interests and agendas have resulted in a history filled with disappointment, tragedy, confusion and religious wars.

    In many cultures it has always been thought and/or known that we are spiritual beings, the biggest exception is in western industrialized cultures that we believe we are people who happen to have a soul. Eastern philosophy believes we are a soul first, housed in this thing called a ‘body.’ The most beautiful and simple interpretation of how everything ‘IS’ can be found in the Native American tradition. “Everything in the universe is Spirit, each thing in it is of the same Spirit and it is all Connected.” This is exactly what we are beginning to understand in science and quantum physics, that everything in the universe is made of the same thing and has a consciousness about it. The two things that frustrate scientists the most is the fact that all these

    things operate across time, space and dimensions they do not yet understand, and the ability of things to operate on inter-dimensional and multi-dimensional levels. A high degree of new understanding about the science and physics of what spiritual really means is now mostly coming from independent researchers. High-tech and aerospace research physicists and scientists, all seem to have a more concise and accurate understanding of Spirit and the Spiritual than those from a theological background.

    The Reality and The Truth of Spirit–In plain language, there is only One God or Universal Energy that Is Everything. There is only One Consciousness. We are only one individuated expression of The One. All the dogma, theology and religious beliefs anyone chooses to pile on this truth is commonly referred to as Bunk. It is the lack of true knowledge and the application of these distortions, which have been the source of all emotional, physical and spiritual problems. Spirit is alive, it is something that is lived and experienced, the surest way to destroy or suppress it is to organize it and institutionalize it.

    Spiritual Experiences teach us: Everything we think or feel affects oneself and others. We need to realize every feeling–anger, fear, hate, sadness, judgment–are mind generated emotions and need to be modified or eliminated. Left to fester–anger, fear, hate, sadness, judgment, creates physical reactions. For every physical reaction, a.k.a. symptoms–i.e. colds, cancer, MS, and everything from A to Z, there is a direct link to mind generated emotions. When these mind generated emotions are eliminated and the wounds created from long term and dysfunctional expressions are healed, the physical manifestation labeled as illness by Western Medicine is eliminated.

    The bottom line is Health and Well-Being is affected by two factions–Doctors and Ministers. Doctors are trained as mechanics who work on the physical mechanism. They are in the Business of “Treatment.” They are Not Trained in the “Art of Healing”. Most doctors do not even understand the most rudimentary concepts of Healing. Most do not realize how they can produce damage and even induce death sentences on their patients.

    There is little difference in the effects produced by an intentional damaging curse or a prayer prayed improperly, bad advice or simply some random negative thought. Ministers are trained in traditional theosophical dogmatic perceptions specific to the cultural religious views they ascribe to. Most people have little concept about True Spirituality or how the universe really operates. As a consequence they convey misinformation, half-truths, superstitions and fears along with a multitude of associated damaging information into a person’s consciousness. The result of which is Confusion and Paradox–which leads to distress, disease and un-wellness.

    Both the good in our lives and the dis-eases we have are the results of our experiences, conditioning and beliefs. It is the experiences, conditioning and beliefs that are counter to our true nature that causes the damage. No matter how dire a client’s predicament seems to be, I Know if they are ‘Willing’ to do the emotional and spiritual work of releasing old habits, beliefs and forgiving, everything can be healed. The word ‘incurable’ used by Western Medicine really only means that the person can not be ‘cured’ by ‘outer’ methods and that they must Go Within to effect their healing. The condition was created as a way to cope–it came from within and can be healed from within. Reference: Heal Your Body, Louise L. Hay

    Since Holistic/Metaphysical Healthcare focuses on supporting the Mind, Body, Spirit to heal itself as it is designed to do and Western Medicine perceives the human body as a battleground on which wars are waged with chemical bombs and scalpels against invaders, how can these divergent ideologies be merged?

    The answer: They can’t be–i.e. water and vinegar doesn’t mix–it is metaphysically impossible. Likewise, it is metaphysically impossible to merge Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Western Medicine. Anyone who would consider such a merger does not understand the laws of Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing.

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    Source by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

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  • Quick Guide to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones

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    Most of us find ourselves doing something that people wish we’re able to stop. Bad habits can certainly become elements of our lives, keeping us back, or annoying us (and our family members).

    Here are quick guides to build good habits and break bad ones:

    Identify The Habit You Need To Change First

    You have to notice your unfavourable habits first. You must first notice that you have a habit that you would like to improve. If you really know what that habit is, then you can deal with it. Most of us already have lots of cons that we wish to change. Don’t make an effort to attack everything simultaneously, though. Prioritize your bad habits, and choose the one to give attention to first.

    Take Small Steps

    Depending on the habit involved, small steps might be needed to be taken to be able to succeed. While some individuals are lucky when they quit smoking frosty turkey, not everyone succeeds with this technique. They could need to step back by smoking lesser cigarettes each day, or looking for other ways that could help them step back little by little. Also, in a situation whereby you wish to stop watching TV. In the event that you are being used to watching 4 hours of TV every night, it will be hard just stopping. You will need to reduce 1 hour out of the time at first. Make your changes little by little, but surely in a manner that is manageable for you if you need to help make the changes in your daily life “stick”.

    Substitute Bad Habits With Good Habits

    You’ll be more successful if you substitute a bad habit with a good habit in most cases. Many number of people replace smoking cigarette with gnawing sugar-free gum. If you want to get over a bad habit, it’s vital that you look for a good habit to substitute it with. Slowly but surely, the good habit can be your normal habit and the bad behavior will disappear.

    Try a Challenge

    Most times, it benefits to truly have a challenge when you really wish to get rid of unfavourable habits. Get one of these weeklong a challenge to start out, to see if you can do something different for a whole week. Afterwards, you can extend the challenge. Another strategy is to have a thirty-day challenge. They state that it takes twenty-one days to build up a habit, so a thirty-day challenge should help you substitute your unhealthy habit with a good one.

    After Success With One Habit, Tackle The Next

    Once you’ve acquired success with one habit, move to another on your list. Be sure you recognize your good endeavors and then consider what other bad habits you need to get gone. The fact that you have previously been successful once is likely to increase your self-assurance in your capability to move to the next habit, allowing you to substitute it faster than you did the previous habit. If you can continue with this exercise through your list such as this, it’s likely you’ll find that you truly can substitute the majority of your bad habits with good and change your overall life for the better.

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    Source by Reshali Balasubramaniam

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  • Mind, Body, Spirit Healing–Putting It into Practice

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    Modern Medicine promotes the belief that health and wellness is a crap shoot, genetically driven and at best, pure luck. If the roll of the dice isn’t in your favor or your genetic make-up has been doomed six generations back, or luck runs out, Modern Medicine has a magic pill, chemical bomb or simply cutting out whatever organ is afflicted as a solution.

    Norman Vincent Peale declared, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” Caroline Myss, medical intuitive extraordinaire states, “Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences.” Wayne Dyer states, “We are responsible for everything in our lives, including whether the chemistry in our body works or doesn’t work.” If you believe health and wellness is a crap shoot, genetically driven or pure luck you have set the stage for body malfunction. If you believe as Norman Vincent Peale, Caroline Myss, PhD and Wayne Dyer, PhD, Deepak Chopra, MD believe your choices, thoughts and feelings are an act of power, and that you are responsible, then you are in control of your health.

    To be effective Mind, Body, Spirit healing needs to be practiced on a daily basis–not after your body is being ravaged by a malfunction. Mind, Body, Spirit healing is a process that maintains and supports health and wellness, thereby prevents body malfunction. People who practice Mind, Body Spirit healing avoid having cancer, MS, heart attacks, strokes, and the 101 other afflictions from A to Z, which Modern Medicine has conditioned us to be plagued by from birth to death–for many a premature death.

    The nine most frequent surgeries in America are Tonsillectomies, myringotomies, Cataract removal, Low-back surgery, Gall Bladder removal, Hysterectomies, C-Section, Sleep Apnea, Jaw pain.

    As Dr. Myss stated–“…every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological,…consequences.” In order to change any biological consequence you need to change your thoughts, which changes your feelings. Your new thoughts/beliefs must be shifted to empower you to control your health.

    To eliminate/avoid the most common reasons for surgery, it is important to know the thoughts/beliefs, which creates body malfunctions and healthy thoughts/beliefs to prevent or heal it.

    Tonsillitis, Quinsy, Sore Throat – cause: Fear, Repressed emotions, Stifled Creativity, A strong belief that you cannot speak up for yourself and ask for your needs, Feeling unable to express yourself. Holding in angry words.

    Remedy: “I release all restrictions and I am free to be me. It is my birth right to have my needs met. I now ask for what I want with love and with ease. My good now flows freely. Divine ideas express through me. I am at peace.”

    Ear Infection – cause: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Parents arguing.

    Remedy: Myringotomies are performed for recurrent ear infection, usually in children under five. Since your child is incapable of changing the thoughts/feelings you need to take the responsibility to change the child’s experience and foster the expression of feelings. Listen to and acknowledge your child’s feelings. Avoid talking at your child, talk with your child. There many excellent books on effective parenting. If there is turmoil, fighting and arguing between the parents–seek counseling to resolve your adult issues. I urge adults who have frequent colds/sore throats to use the following thought patterns. “I hear with love. Harmony surrounds me. I listen with love to the pleasant and the good. I am a center of love.”

    Cataracts – cause: Inability to see ahead with joy. Belief in a dark future.

    Remedy: “Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.”

    Gall Bladder problems-cause: Bitterness. Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride. Fear.

    Remedy: “I joyously release all hurts from the past. Life is sweet and so am I.

    Uterus/ovary problems – cause: Allowing confusion to reign. Giving power to outside influences. Rejection of the feminine processes.

    Remedy: “I am at home in my body. I am balanced in my creative flow.

    C-Section-cause: Belief in old wives tales. Belief–childbirth should be painless. Fear. Stopping the process. Rejection of the feminine processes. Unhealed aftereffects of child sexual abuse/rape or adult rape cause the memory of trauma to interfere with the natural birth process. If you are a sexual child abuse or adult rape survivor heal the emotional and physical aftereffects. See http://www.gen-assist.com to find a sexual abuse recovery specialist, traditional therapy is not effective to guide you through sexual abuse recovery.

    Remedy: Change your beliefs about childbirth. Take natural childbirth classes. A mid-wife and/or doula can lead you through a healthy delivery in the majority of instances. “I trust the process of life. I am safe. I am balanced in my creative flow.”

    Jaw Pain-cause: Anger. Resentment. Desire for revenge.

    Remedy: “I am willing to change the patterns in me that created this condition. I love and approve of myself. I am safe.”

    Sleep Apnea: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns, overweight or tonsil malfunction.

    Remedy: “I release all that is unlike love and joy in my mind. I move from the past into the new and fresh and vital.” Lose weight and follow remedy for tonsil malfunction.

    Low-Back Pain L-1 to L- 5 – cause: Crying for love and a need to be lonely. Insecurity. Stuck in childhood pain. See no way out. Sexual abuse. Guilt. Self-hatred. Rejection of sexuality. Financial insecurity. Fear of career. Feeling powerless. Insecurity. Difficulty in communicating. Anger. Inability to accept pleasure.

    Remedy: “I am safe in the universe and all Life loves me and supports me. I grow beyond my parents’ limitations and live for myself. It is my turn now. I release the past. I cherish myself and my beautiful sexuality. I am safe. I love who I am. I am grounded in my own power. I am secure on all levels. I deserve to enjoy life. I ask for what I want and I accept with joy and pleasure.”

    Tip: Write these thoughts on a 3X5 card. Read them silently or out loud 3 times upon awakening and before going to sleep. Have a copy with you, if you notice you are running the old tapes in your head, read the new thought pattern. Within 30 – 45 days you will notice you feel better, more energized and have a sense of relief.

    The food we eat or lack of proper nutrition contributes to physical malfunction. I will discuss nutritional needs–titled Holistic Nutrition.

    Article resource: Heal Your Body, Louise Hay.

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    Source by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

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  • The Psychology of Drug Addiction

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    There is, of course, a reason why people become addicted to drugs. The psychological aspect of addiction is extremely powerful. The human mind is a marvellous thing, and the thoughts we have can become all-ruling in our lives.

    Because we are these complex creatures, with thinking and reasoning capabilities, we can often discount the mind as only a small part of what we are. This is totally wrong, and in fact the psychiatric implications of drug use (or more properly drug abuse) are ever present, and can cause major disruption in the life of an addict.

    So just what exactly are we talking about here? The psychological aspects of the mind, and how it can control our lives, has been well known to professionals in the field for many years. For example, if one is the child of an addict, be it drugs, alcohol, or whatever, your own mind will rapidly justify to you the use of these substances as being OK. Let’s face it, you love your parents and if they are doing it then it’s got to be allright and can’t possibly be bad for you. You are in effect brainwashing yourself.

    Of course, as we know from proven scientific research, it is a fact that drugs have an effect on the brain. It becomes a brain problem. Drug abusers brains get so used to having these chemicals in them that sooner or later, depending on the substance, they actually “talk” themselves into needing those chemicals to function, and so the brain gives the body various (withdrawal) symptoms in order to get those chemicals.

    So what can be done to try to beat the psychological side of drug addiction? Getting help is a tried and tested method. Talking to a trained drug abuse counsellor, or other health professional is agood start to finding ways to overcomes your addiction.

    Wherever you are, there are many excellent programs available to those with a problem with substance misuse. The best of these will treat both the mind and the body. Because, as we already know, when you initially try to reduce your dependence on drugs, your mind will give your body a variety of withdrawal symptoms in order to get its “fix”. However, with professional help it is possible to successfully break the hold that drug addiction has on your body, your mind, and your life.

    It’s not strictly necessary to go into a rehabilitation facility. However it is proven that this method is very effective. These facilities can be expensive, as also can psychologists/psychiatrists. However, most long term drug abusers find that if they work it out they are spending over a period of time far more on their habit than the cure would cost, and the benefits to your wallet can easily be calculated. Even if it’s impossible to put a price on your future wellbeing.

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    Source by Chris Haycock

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  • When Your Husband Leaves You Without Any Warning

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    I often get correspondence from wives who are now living alone but who never saw this coming. Generally, they will come home from work or from running errands one day and find that their husband has left them. Or, the husband will abruptly pack his bags and announce that the marriage is no longer working for him and he thinks that he might “want out.” However this plays out, often the wife will tell me that she had no real warning and that this was very much an abrupt and unwelcome surprise.

    I often hear things like “I can’t believe he left me. I never really saw this coming. I knew we had issues, but every married couple has issues. I just can’t believe that he would leave me without ever trying to work things out. And, I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want a divorce. I want him to come back home, but I’m so angry that he didn’t try to approach me first that I don’t even know how to approach him. What should I do?”

    The answer to this question is going to depend upon the circumstances and the people involved. But, it will often help to deal directly with the real situation that is in front of you, rather than trying to deal with the situation that you envision or hope exists. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Don’t Focus Only On The Fact That You Had No Warning When He Left. Focus On What To Do Now And Where To Go From Here: It’s completely normal to be floored by the fact that one morning you woke up with a husband living at home, but by evening you were alone without any warning. This is an abrupt blow that can be devastating. But, because it can be important to act quickly, you will often have to make a conscious decision not to focus on the way in which this happened.

    Yes, your husband could most certainly have handled this in a different and preferable way, but neither of you can change that now. There’s a real risk in allowing your reaction to how he handled this to interfere with how you act toward him in the present. It can really help to ask yourself what your ultimate goal is in this situation. Some women will just want to handle themselves with dignity and grace while coping and moving on in the best way that they know how.

    Others will decide that their primary goal is to get their husband to come back home as quickly as possible. Often, what will help with one of these goals will also help with the other. No matter what you decide that you ultimately want, it’s my experience that you will often have an easier time getting it if you focus on what is right in front of you rather than the manner in which it happened. Yes, being blindsided is very painful and shocking, but it can hurt rather than help the situation to dwell on this rather than taking action.

    Evaluating What Is Going To Most Improve Your Situation: Once you’ve decided where you want to go from here, it’s important to step back and to try to take the emotion out of it to come up with the strategy that is most likely to get you what you want. It’s so easy to lash out, feel resentful, and to feel sorry for yourself. But these things usually won’t get you any closer to what you want. In fact, allowing your feelings to run your actions will often keep you from getting what you want.

    Debating with your husband, arguing with him, or lashing out will often push him even further away and just make you more upset with your situation. It’s usually better, at least in my experience and observation, to try as best as you can to limit yourself to the actions that strengthen you and allow you to feel in control rather than to surrender to those feelings or actions that are natural (and may relieve some tension) but which will only make the situation worse.

    It’s usually when you can somewhat rise above this and handle yourself with strength and calm that you will often begin to gain some ground. I absolutely know that this can be difficult. Sometimes, you might need to wait to interact with your husband until you can actually be calm. This may not be possible in the very beginning. But it can really help to always keep in mind your ultimate goal so that you don’t lose control of your strategy.

    Interacting With Your Husband During This Difficult Situation: It’s probably fair to say that there will come a time when you will need to communicate with your husband about where your marriage is going from here. Whether it’s fair or not, your husband has sent a clear message by leaving. Now, it’s up to you as to how you are going to reply to that message. But, before you do, define how you ultimately want for this to turn out. If you could put aside the shock, the hurt, and the fear, what is your greatest wish right now? The answer to this question is what you must place your focus upon.

    Because I would argue that no matter what your ultimate goal is, you’ll usually get closer to it by trying to interact with him in a positive way. Even if you are ultimately going to end the marriage, this was an important relationship in your life and it will likely help you going forward if you can keep this as positive as you can. If you want to save the marriage, improving your relationship and communications going forward will go a long way toward helping you to eventually save your marriage.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your husband that although you’re devastated that he would leave you without warning, you would like to interact with him in a positive way going forward. Since the two of you were once the most important people in one another’s lives (and may well still be) it just doesn’t make sense to allow for one negative action to turn into something that is even worse. He may not be all that receptive to this at first, but when he sees that you’re not reacting as he anticipated and are working with him rather than against him, you will sometimes be able to slowly rebuild with time. This is often true even if you are not 100% sure how you want to approach him right now.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Misophobia – Causes, Symptoms and Cure

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    Misophobia in plain words is fear of contamination. The person believes that he is in danger of coming into contact with contaminants and being infected by dust and dirt. He takes a shower several times a day, washes his hands and wears gloves to protect them. He can use as many as ten towels a day as he does not use the same towel twice. The person has an unrealistic fear of being in danger and even the simple act of eating an apple requires that he wash the apple several times before eating it. If the person cannot satisfy his need to do this he might have a panic attack.

    Symptoms of Misophobia

    • The person has an unnatural fear of dirt and is constantly cleaning and wiping the kitchen counters and dusting the furniture.

    • He becomes anxious and believes he is going to die and has a hyper-ventilation attack where he is gasping for breath, feels nauseous, is unable to speak coherently, sweats profusely and has a racing heart. He then worries about his pounding heart and makes the condition worse.

    • He has been told several times that there is no danger but because he has suffered from the condition for so long he mistakenly believes that he can never be cured and lives his life worrying about every little thing. Like the fear of heights or any other kind of irrational fear when the person is suffering an attack he or she is impossible to speak to when the panic starts. Even thinking about ridding himself of the problem can trigger anxiety.

    Hypnotherapy treatment

    In a nutshell the sufferer has a template of anxiety which has to be changed. There is a fear of loss of control which could have started in the past and this has to be addressed. Therapy in this regard is most helpful as the therapist can walk the sufferer through his fears when he is calm and the person sees that he has nothing to fear. His reality is recreated and his fear is minimized. If he sticks with the program he can change irrational fear which has plagued him all his life with healthy thoughts. It is like reprogramming a computer; you delete the past and write a new chapter for yourself. The brain, like the motherboard, follows the new instructions and the person eventually believes that his fear of germs and bacteria can be brought under control. He is able to relax and separate normal fear from deep panic and anxiety and take control of his life.

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    Source by Manu M

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  • Addiction Marketing

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    “Addiction Marketing” is a phrase I coined a few years back while waiting in line for my drink at Starbucks. I was observing the mass of people who like lost explorers in the desert rushing for an oasis seemed to be desperate for their daily (if not more frequent) fix of caffeine. It was at that moment that I realized that one of Starbucks key business drivers, if not their most critical business driver, was that Starbucks sells products that cater to peoples addictive tendencies. What Starbucks has done better than many other addictive marketers is that they also make it cool and trendy to succumb to your addiction. In today’s blog post I’ll examine addiction as a key success factor in business.

    When I was in school economics professors would lecture on using supply and demand drivers to create a business advantage…business professors would evangelize the strengths of the recurring value and stability of consumable products…marketing professors would espouse the benefits of relationship marketing, but nowhere do I recall being able to register for a class on addiction. However if you think about “Addiction Marketing” you’ll quickly realize what the “media pushers” on Madison Avenue and the product development and marketing gurus in the corporate world have known for years…all people have their unique set of vulnerabilities that if creatively and effectively exploited will lead to strong sales and powerful brands.

    If you read the business news over the weekend you’ll have noticed that the Indian government is attempting to force Coca Cola and Pepsi to divulge the formulas to their popular beverage products. One of the charges being upheld in the Indian High Court is that Coke and Pepsi products are addictive and unhealthy…Hmmm…Examine the following representative list of successful businesses and/or industries and come to your own conclusions as to whether these businesses or industries prey on the addictions of consumers world-wide to generate their revenue:

    Las Vegas – The tagline “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” caters to virtually every possible addiction under the sun…Sin City lives up to its reputation.

    Tag Body Spray – Tag’s recent commercial campaign has taken the phrase “Sex Sells” to a whole new level…In this campaign all an adolescent male needs to do is to spray himself with the Tag product and he finds himself instantly being attacked by hordes of attractive young women…If you have a teenage son, it would be a safe bet that Tag is his cologne of choice.

    The Beer and Alcohol Industry – You will be hard pressed to find a beer or alcohol company that doesn’t portray consumption of their beverage as the key ingredient to a lifestyle of fast cars, beautiful women, successful careers, etc.

    The Tobacco Industry – The tobacco industry has been publicly hammered for selling products that leverage the addictive effects of Nicotine and even with all the known health hazards smokers face, in many instances the addictive nature of the product is greater than peoples ability to make a logical decision.

    I don’t think anyone will dispute the examples noted in the above list as obviously preying on consumer’s addictive tendencies. However what about the more subtle side of the addiction business? Isn’t Starbucks using the same addictive business tactics as those industries listed above? What about companies in the luxury products sector? Companies that sell high end products and services cater to the elitist attitudes of this segment allowing consumers to make statements about their socioeconomic status based on the products they purchase. Is this not also catering to addictive tendencies?

    OK, now I’ll hit a little closer to home…What about my company’s value proposition? We sell success…Is it not possible to look at success as being an addiction? How about the social networking industry? Are social networkers and bloggers addicted to the interaction, attention, etc. that the new media platform affords? While I could go on, I think my point has been made…I’m certainly not implying that all consumers are addicts, nor am I implying that all companies are “pushers”, but I am pointing out that addiction marketing sells and that many companies use this as a strategic advantage. In fact, I believe the evidence is clear that a business can create a strong strategic advantage in sustainability if they find no ethical flaw in what I’ve coined as “Addiction Marketing”.

    The bottom line is that I love to travel and watch movies and I don’t think it makes me an escapist…I have a penchant for Starbucks (venti caramel frappacinos in particular) and I don’t think I’m a caffeine addict, I appreciate the fine clothes and quality automobiles and I don’t believe that makes me a social elitist. However I have also come to realize that my perceived addictive tendencies are clearly attempting to be preyed upon by creative and intelligent marketing and product development efforts. I’ll leave you with the following questions to ponder:

    What is the difference between pleasure and addiction?

    Do you feel “Addiction Marketing” is ethical?

    Does your company partake in addictive marketing strategies and tactics?

    And, when was the last time you made a purchase based upon your addiction?

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    Source by Mike Myatt

    Views: 0

  • Success With Emotional Intelligence

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    Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions and the emotions of other people in positive ways. Today we can clearly see that being only “book smart” and having a high intelligence quotient or IQ does not guarantee a successful, happy and fulfilled life. There are many people in all parts of the world who are very brilliant academically but are inept at dealing with people and successful at work or in their personal relationships. Academic intelligence is not enough on its own to be successful in life. IQ can help you get a job and earn a living, but it does not show you how to live a life. When it comes to happiness and success in life, emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your career and personal goals.

    Emotionally intelligent people are able to recognize their own emotional state and the emotional states of others and as a result they connect more easily with people. They therefore communicate better, form stronger relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life. John Gottman was right when he said “In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.”

    Emotional Intelligence consists of five basic components namely self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. The first three competencies are intra-personal and concern your ability to know and manage yourself. Empathy and social skills are inter-personal competencies and concern your ability to interact and get along with others. The better your intra-personal skills, the easier it becomes to express your inter-personal skills. Mastering these skills will allow you to live a better, happier and more successful and fulfilled life.

    Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to know which emotions you are feeling and why. When you understand your emotions, it is easier for you to acknowledge and control your emotions and prevent your feelings from ruling you. You also become more confident as you do not let your emotions get out of control. Being self-aware also enables you to take an honest look at yourself and better know your strengths and weaknesses, and work on these areas to achieve better outcomes for yourself and others.

    Self-Regulation is the ability to control your emotions and impulses and choose the emotions that you want to experience instead of being the victim of whatever emotions arise. When you are able to manage your emotional state, it becomes easier for you to think before you act and this prevents you from making impulsive and careless decisions. This skill also allows you to transform negative exhausting emotions into more positive and productive ones

    The third component of emotional intelligence is motivation. This is about using your emotions to remain positive, optimistic and persistent rather than negative and pessimistic. When you have a high degree of emotional intelligence you tend to be very motivated, productive and efficient in everything they do. You also use your emotions positively to take the right actions to persist and achieve your goals even in the face of considerable adversity or difficulty.

    Empathy is the fourth element of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to truly recognize and understand the feelings and point of view of people around you. Empathetic people usually possess the ability to listen effectively and accurately to others and are normally excellent at managing relationships, improving communication, building trust and relating to others.

    The fifth component of emotional intelligence is social skills. Emotionally intelligent people have good social skills and are excellent at building and maintaining relationships. When you are highly emotionally intelligent, you no longer focus on your own success first and you always have other’s best interests in mind. You always promote an environment where people cooperate with each other instead of compete with one another and you always help others develop and grow.

    Today emotional intelligence is a key to success in life and the good news is that whatever your actual level of emotional intelligence, you can improve it The best way to develop your emotional skills is through practice. You can then become more efficient at recognizing and managing your emotions as well as the emotions of others and lead a happier, more successful and fulfilled life. Always remember the wise words of Daniel Goleman who said, “What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ – not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”

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    Source by Priya Deelchand

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  • Wrong Reasons For Getting Married – (1) Marrying Out of Sympathy

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    There are right and wrong reasons for getting married. The worst thing a person can do to oneself is to marry a wife or husband for the wrong reason. There are quite a number of wrong reasons why people marry. One of the wrong reasons and perhaps among the most prominent of the wrong reasons is marrying out of sympathy.

    There are many scenarios under this subheading of marrying out of sympathy that relationship coaches experience in the course of counseling and coaching. Some of the most common ones are when the woman gets pregnant as a result of premarital sex and getting married to a person just because one’s brother or sister jilted that person. Between these two extremes, are those who start relationships with girls who are being maltreated by those they serve. Some men get involved with the neighborhood maids or relations of their neighbors who are being maltreated. Women fall into this kind of challenge too.

    When sympathy forms the basis for a relationship with the opposite sex, it is like playing with a keg of gunpowder over a fireplace. Sympathy is a powerful emotion. It so overpowering that it becomes difficult for the parties involved to consider the critical elements in the foundation for a joyful relationship such as friendship, understanding, compatibility etc. If the man is the one sympathizing, he is so enamored into what he sees as the Good Samaritan’s job that he does not consider what stuff the woman is made off, her attitudes, desires and mindset. He does not stop to find out what life purposes she has, what goals she is focused on and how all these could jell into his own desires. If it is the woman that is sympathizing, she goes through the same emotions and also begins to think that if she saves the young man, he would remain loyal to her forever.

    Findings, however, have shown that the truth is far from what these sympathizer-lovers are thinking. If as a result of your efforts the captive is set free, he or she will do what all captives do, “flee”. Fleeing here may not mean running away from their sympathizer-lovers, though that has been known to happen with people who confess that the only feeling they had was to escape the environment. In many instances, the sympathizer-lovers begin to act as saviors and lordships. This is usually resisted, first psychologically and later verbally. And there goes your peace and comfort.

    Marriage relationship requires that both parties are open to each other. Open – meaning that there are no secrets in their hearts that the other partner would not be allowed into. Once these secret feelings are there, it produces reactive communication instead of responsive communication.

    These sympathy missions when it emanates from the premarital sex pregnancy, the woman does not fully get happy in the relationship. This arises from the fact that as the usual challenges appear in the scene, instead of the woman finding a good reason to endure; she only thinks she is in a mess occasioned by the pregnancy. Some have confessed that if they did not get pregnant, there is no way they would end up with the man they are married to. Instead of seeing the usual marriage and child rearing challenges as learning opportunities, they mortify themselves for getting pregnant. And some of the time, they blame the man for putting them in the family way. Some blame the child that resulted from the pregnancy. Hatred for a child has been known to have grown from such situations creating lasting bitterness.

    For the men, having not evaluated the character, demeanor, temperament of their spouse before marriage because of the overpowering influence of the emotion of sympathy, when the woman shows her real character, they are usually overwhelmed. They see themselves as having made terrible mistakes. They now live the rest of their lives in regret, withdrawal or wickedness or under the influence of these three negative but powerful emotions.

    It is necessary that we have it ingrained in the tablet of our hearts that the only reasons good enough for marrying anybody are the foundational elements for joyful relationship. If while in a relationship with the opposite sex there is no opportunity to build friendship and if an understanding of the basic purpose of marriage is not clear to both of you, then there is no other reason why the relationship should continue beyond the next few hours.

    Interestingly, many marriages out there are based on sympathy.

    Young single adults (18-30 years of age) and single adults (31 years and above) should not marry anybody for the purpose of saving face or to save somebody from suffering. Instead of cornering yourselves to this quagmire, why not follow the appropriate dating, courtship and engagement practices where no sexual intimacy is included. There is need to remember that sexual intimacy is only appropriate in a legally and lawfully wedded marriage contract. You need to remember that the basic purpose of sexual intimacy is mainly for procreation and to cement companionship.

    The excitement and pleasure that accompany sexual intercourse is purposed to invite people to take the responsibility that comes with it. Any other use of sexual intimacy outside legal and lawful matrimony is a transgression of the law. And law breakers must bear the full weight of the law. In most cases, there would be no external police to arrest you and no external court to try you and no external prison to sentence you. But there are internal version of the police, the court and the prison and a large farmland where your hard labor would be performed if you commit this offense.

    What is the way to go?

    Here is the way to go. Instead of focusing on sympathy, those planning to get married should focus on what matters most – the purpose of marriage – companionship and procreation. Remember the good Lord Himself said of Adam in the scriptures: “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), hence He made Eve to keep him company. Do not forget also that the same Creator gave them a commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). This is the creator’s approval for sexual intimacy in marriage relationship with the intents and purposes clearly spelled out, though. Latter-day prophets have clearly stated that “sex between a man and a woman in a legal and lawful marriage is ordained of God”. These are the foundational elements that must be established before continuing in the plan for marriage with someone. Both parties ought to know and understand this fully. This knowledge and understanding would bear relationships as the foundation of a building bears it. Marrying for any other reason is like standing the building on its roof.

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    Source by Francis Nmeribe

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