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Tag: Intimacy

  • Can Emotional Pain Build-Up If Someone Doesn’t Have A Strong Connection With Their Body?

    Can Emotional Pain Build-Up If Someone Doesn’t Have A Strong Connection With Their Body?

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    After someone has experienced loss, they could end up experiencing emotional pain. When it comes to how severe this pain is, it can all depend on who has passed on.

    So, if a family member has passed on, the amount of pain that they are in could be unbearable. Through being in so much pain, one could reach out for the support of family and friends.

    Additional Help

    This might not be enough, though, and one might end up reaching out for professional assistance. Perhaps their friends and their family are unable to be there for them on a regular basis.

    It could be said that this is just part of life as these people are going to have their own responsibilities to deal with. There is also the chance that these people are also in a lot of pain and haven’t always got the energy to be there for them.

    The Sensible Approach

    The main thing here is that one will be embracing how they feel, and this will allow them to gradually embrace life once again. This doesn’t mean that they will ever ‘get over’ what took place; what it means is that they won’t stay stuck in this emotional place forever.

    Additionally, one may also allow themselves to cry when they need to or during certain times. What this will illustrate is that one has a healthy relationship with the emotional part of their being.

    Just One Example

    If this is the case, it is going to be normal for them to embrace how they feel. Therefore, regardless of whether someone passes on, a relationship comes to an end, or something else takes place that has an impact on them, they will go with how they feel.

    It is not going to be an issue for them to cry or to get angry, for instance, which may generally stop too much emotional pain from building-up inside their body. This is going to allow them to operate as whole human being.

    Two Sides

    Of course, there will be times when facing how they feel will be hard, even overwhelming, but it will be worth it. The reason for this is that having a good connection with their feelings will benefit their life in a myriad of ways.

    For one thing, it will give them the ability to form deeper connections with others, and this wouldn’t be possible if they were emotionally disconnected. Also, their feelings will give them the guidance that they need to live a fulfilling.

    A Different Experience

    For someone else, it could be normal for them to deny how they feel after they have experienced loss. It is then not going to matter what kind of loss takes place as they will respond in the same way.

    Through taking this approach, they may believe that the emotional pain they were in has simply disappeared. Yet, although it may seem as though is the case, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

    Disconnected

    In reality, their mind will have lost touch with their body and this part of them will still be carrying their feelings. However, as their point of awareness is generally in their head, this is unlikely to occur to them.

    To maintain the illusion that they have created, it will be vital for them to do what they can to stay out of their body. If this doesn’t take place and they were to get back in there, they would end up being overwhelmed by emotional pain.

    Twp Parts

    Living on the surface of themselves may allow them to be successful when it comes to their career, for instance, but it unlikely that they will be able to experience intimacy or to live a life that is deeply fulfilling. It could also be a real challenge for them to relax and to just be; if they were to settle down, all the pain that is inside them could start to rise up.

    Being on the go just about all of the time, acting like a ‘human doing’ as opposed to a ‘human being’, will be a way for them to avoid themselves. Nonetheless, this kind of behaviour is often seen as a sign that someone is ‘driven’ or has ‘high self-esteem’, so very few people are likely to realise that something isn’t right.

    What’s going on?

    If someone has the tendency to avoid how they feel as an adult and to live in their head, this could be something that has taken place for as long as they can remember. Perhaps, their early years were a time when they didn’t receive the attunement that they needed to develop in the right way.

    As a result of this, leaving their body and getting into their head would have been the only way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed. The years will then have passed, but staying out of their body will still be a way for them to stop themselves from being taken out by how they feel.

    A Build-Up

    Their body can then carry the emotional pain that they avoided as a child and it can carry all of the pain that they have avoided as an adult. The longer they avoid themselves in this way, the more pain there will be.

    With this is mind, the sooner that they face this pain the better it will be. Facing this pain is what will allow them to not just look whole on the outside, but to feel whole on the inside.

    ​

    Awareness

    If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they will most likely need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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  • What Does It Mean To Love?

    What Does It Mean To Love?

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    Love Does Not Diminish

    How do you define love or the experience of it? What is it like to experience yourself on an intimate level? I don’t mean physically but emotionally and spiritually? Some associate love with romantic feelings of butterflies in their stomach. They might talk about the sensations they feel when thinking about their beloved. But is love experienced through the mind, body or both? Is love a noun or a verb? How do we know if we have truly loved? What is the measure of having fully committed ourselves to love? I do not consider myself an expert on love nor a relationship coach. I am just as inquisitive as you are. What I know is: love demands nothing of us because it is an empty vessel to be filled. This is the analogy for life itself, where love is never wasted but recirculated.

    Is love unconditional for you? Or does it come with requirements? What happens when those requirements are not met, do you withhold your love for another? Is it possible to withhold the essence of who we are? How can we stop water flowing in a river? You might say: build a damn. However, if the dam is not strong enough, the pressure of the water will find its way through or around it. You’ve no doubt seen tsunamis on TV where entire villages are engulfed by water. Water is a powerful metaphor for love because it can enrich a person’s life, yet it can also be destructive if it comes with conditions.

    Do we need love in our lives? What does love offer us in return? Is it intimacy with ourselves or knowing others better? It was St Francis of Assisi who once said: “It is in giving that we receive.” He viewed love as something to be circulated in order to permeate our life and the lives of others. Love is like the Sun that gives of its energy and asks nothing in return because it is self-sustaining. The more we give love, the more of it we have. It begs the question: what happens when love is not reciprocated or the other person ceases to identify with love? If love is not returned, it does not diminish the other person’s capacity to give or receive it. The Sun goes down every evening and there is darkness for twelve hours. Yet, with the break of dawn, it re-emerges bringing energy to sustain life once more. It is a cycle sewn into the fabric of life and so it is with love.

    Dare To Fully Express Love

    When another person stops loving us, it does not mean we are unlovable. For you cannot stop the flow, it will naturally find expression in another form. Love is the antidote to fear, hatred and anger. It is the one true constant in our lives that is bestowed upon us from conception. We are born into love and leave this life knowing we will continue to love in the lifetimes that follow. The question is: have you dared to fully express love in this life? Have you given love freely and unconditionally? We ought to be like a sponge filled with water, totally wrung out when our time comes. We ought to fill our hearts with love and not withhold it for fear it won’t be reciprocated. Because every time we engage in love, it is magnified within every cell of our body. The more we give of ourselves, the more love expands within our hearts.

    Knowing this, I invite you to contemplate your relationship with love over the coming days. Where are you withholding love in your life? How is this serving you? Does it bring a sense of safety, security or comfort? Are you willing to let down the barriers that impede the flow of love? Love needn’t be something expressed between two people but can reveal itself through our life’s purpose, our hobbies and our attitude. If you seek more love in your life, let go of the barriers that keep you safe from expressing it. See if you can find the place within you bursting with love and direct it towards something or someone. Love is a like bank account that compounds interest with each deposit made. Because if we truly want to know what it means to love, we must first experience it unreservedly while we have the chance.

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    Source by Tony Fahkry

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  • Emotional Labour – Organisational Behaviour

    Emotional Labour – Organisational Behaviour

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    Abstract:

    Putting on a good show, keeping face, professionalism in customer treatment can all be examples of emotional labour. When in the workplace dealing with others whether they be colleagues or customers we tend to give a positive emotional response despite the negativity of the other person (customer complaint) or our own current mood state (sadness, irritability) known as emotional dissonance. In this paper we will explore the phenomenon of emotional labour and its effect on workers productivity and social relations. The general outcome being that the strain of that dissonance creates mental health problems in the workplace.

    Introduction:

    Emotional labour can be seen as the affect of the current mood of a worker whilst engaging in interactions with others – putting on a good face for example despite feeling emotionally uncomfortable. (1. Robins/Judge 2013) These emotions can be driven by organisational expectations of an employees behaviour towards customers, clients and co-workers in support of the business goals to profit. For example in the service industry, customer complaints should be handled with a polite professional smiling attitude so that the customer perceives that their complaints are receiving serious attention. Despite the fact the service provider (customer relations officer) maybe be in a personal bad mood, have life problems or employment concerns – all this is swept aside to provide the company’s public positive image to the customer. For the employee engaged in such activities the strain of appearing positive and enthusiastic may cause both physical and emotional strain often leading to further deterioration in mood after work and in between assignments. You could argue that a good deal of the time we are in fact faking our emotions (feelings) in front of and towards others to support social conventions for example being polite. If a customer’s complaint is unreasonable, they are showing anger, accusing the company or misleading them and selling shoddy products – the company service support worker must maintain control over their own emotions despite feeling that the customer is wrong and the complaint is unwarranted or even ridiculous they still have to maintain the company driven reaction to the customer with calm professionalism. (2. Myler – Case Studies 2018) Some companies make being happy at work almost mandatory – where staff entertain, create an atmosphere or encourage excitement over the product and its associated feelings of happiness. For example, theme park staff forced to smile all day – try it yourself – it is very stressful to keep a happy demeanor in the face of disgruntled visitors waiting hours in a queue for a five minute ride or the phone shop worker being asked to entertain the queue of waiting customers with hi-fives and silly games. (3. Grandey et.al. 2010) Many customers in fact reporting discomfort at being targeted for unwanted attention and interaction). Therefore there is a difference between felt emotions (what I am actually thinking and feeling) than with displayed emotions (what is expected of me). After an interaction the employee can feel both exhausted by the forced situation and emotionally angry at faking their feelings for the benefit of others. Many people who suffer from depression report that faking happiness is the biggest strain of the day.

    Culture and Emotional Labour

    Culture may impact on how someone sees emotional labour as the expectations of others in the light of social comparison. (4. Matsumoto etal. 2009) For example many American service jobs, such as retail staff, service providers and customer interaction workers all feel that a positive upbeat smiling enthusiastic person is a definite requirement for the companies image management. The monocor – have a nice day – often rings false in the ears of those who understand this is not a genuine sentiment but a practiced social grace. In other cultures such as Japan or Asia in general – forced politeness or deference to not displaying emotions may in fact cause particular strain on everyday life where displaced emotion can be seen in acts of violence and sexual deviance. The French tend to not display openness in dealing with customers but in fact a non-smiling or even impolite attitudes towards their clients. This can cause companies dealing in global markets problems with staff in having to adapt and understand policy in line with the cultural underlying expectations of behaviour.

    Mental Health

    Many psychologists, counsellors and others such as nurses encounter patients (clients) who maybe presenting mental health problems such as anxiety (worry about future events) or depression (living with the past) that report difficulties in the work place in faking their emotions towards both colleagues and customers – that they feel the strain of the day at home later through irritability, sexual indifference a lack of appetite and sleep. Keeping up appearances at work therefore effects the very quality of our lives both in and out of the work place. (5. Myler Case Studies 2018) Dealing with difficult people whether customers or colleagues leaves us feeling exhausted physically and mentally. In therapy the psychologist maybe searching for psycho-dynamic reasons for the negative feelings from past patterns of behaviour and often miss the power of the here and now effect of faking your feelings at work simply due to enforced company policies that require us to present an image of well- being and happiness that actually is not there. Treatment therefore should focus on workplace stress rather than personal history.

    Role Play & Emotional Labour:

    Of course we are schooled from an early age in how to act given certain social situations, for example being happy at a birthday party ( don’t spoil it for everyone) to look sad at the funeral (even when we did not even like the deceased). We have learned behavior for situational displays of affect. Have you ever been told off – criticised – looked at the person with a smile on your face – and they say, “what are you smiling at?” they think you are not taking them seriously enough, acknowledging their concerns – the truth maybe that we think their remarks are unwarranted and silly – however our learned correct response is to – look serious and be intently listening – while all the time inside feeling what an idiot this person is! In other words we are often asked to fake it – for the sake of the other persons feelings – this is often seen as high empathy when in fact it is more often just a learned reaction to a situational event. Emotional intelligence is seen a as a panacea for management effectiveness but maybe little more than learned responses to situations, rather than a genuine cognitive response to some event. In other words emotional intelligence maybe more pop psychology than a fact. Measurement for emotional understanding may reflect no more about the learned response to given situations we have come to understand through cultural, generational and traditional customs of our community or group behaviour. Psychometric tests for emotional intelligence may in fact be invalid and not robust enough to provide any useful measure of a persons feelings towards others but in fact reflect that learned behaviour – what should be the response not what I actually feel inside.

    Attributions Theory – Misunderstanding Others:

    Attribution theory ( 6. Heider – 1958) suggests that we attend to what we see more than what we know. In other words – we do in fact judge a book by its cover. So if we are busy faking our emotions so must everyone else? So how do we know that the mood being displayed to us is genuine or faked. We pride ourselves on being able to know others feeling by their facial expressions, there seemingly genuineness and authentic sounding responses. In fact much of the time we maybe reacting to the faked emotion rather than the real one. We are often surprised to hear someone committed suicide – we may say – they always seemed so positive and happy looking – but that is exactly what a mis-attribution is – the lack of skills to identify a real emotion from a faked one – we are actually quite good at emotional labour at work and so do we really know what anyone is actually feeling, as opposed to what they are displaying to us. So the helpful shop assistant may in fact be bored rigid at having to seem enthusiastic about a product she has already spoken about ten times that day already.

    In Summery:

    Emotional labour is a situation where the employee expresses the companies desired response to a given situation. Emotional dissonance are our feeling of confusion between our internal feelings and the face we put upon the situation given company policy towards others. Felt emotions therefore being what we actually feel as opposed to displayed emotion being the faked response to another person. Finally emotional intelligence being no more than learned responses to events as we behave given the situation we find ourselves in. The consequences of faked emotions can be strain leading to emotional exhaustion that has both physical and emotional outcomes for mental health and general well-being. Judging others may in fact lead to mis-attributions where we think the faked emotion is in fact the real feelings of the other party.

    To be honest, open and authentic would be real intimacy in our relationships but carries the high risk of rejection and misunderstandings.

    References:

    1. Robins S.P. Judge T.A. 2013 – Organizational Behavior 15Ed Pearson Publishing

    2. Myler S.F. 2018 – Myler Case Studies 2018/19 Unpublished

    3. Grandey A. et.al. 2010 – Work in the Global Services Economy – Journal of Service Management.

    4. Matsumoto D. 2009 – Culture & Emotional Expression – New York, Taylor & Francis publishing.

    5. Myler S. F. 2019 – Myler Case Studies 2019 Unpublished

    6. Heider F 1958 – Attribution Theory – Oxford Dictionary of Psychology 2001

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    Source by Stephen F. Myler

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  • It Appears That My Husband Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With Me After His Affair

    It Appears That My Husband Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With Me After His Affair

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    I sometimes hear from wives who are devastated not only by their husband’s cheating or affair, but also by the loss of intimacy and physical contact. For whatever reason, sex has been taken off the table. So at a time when a wife is already hurt and confused, she’s now struggling with the fact that she can’t have the reassurance of being intimate. This leaves her wondering whether her husband is still attracted to her sexually and whether or not her marriage will be able to recover.

    She might say, “my husband had an affair about two months ago. At first, I would not even speak to him. Eventually, I allowed him to come and see the kids, and little by little, we began talking again. I can tell that he feels very guilty and embarrassed. He goes out of his way to be accommodating and kind to me. He has told me that although he’d like to stay married and that he would never cheat on me again, he can’t ask me to stay with him because he doesn’t know if he could stay with me if I cheated. He is basically saying that he wouldn’t blame me if I refused to take him back. I’ve told him that I’m going to take my time in making a decision. But up until this week, I truly was considering it. However, last weekend, the kids and I watched a movie with my husband and they fell asleep. My husband and I ended up talking and laughing. One thing lead to another and before long we were kissing. When things were about to get intimate, my husband pulled away and said ‘I just can’t have sex with you right now.’ I was stunned, so I asked, ‘you can’t or you won’t?’ He got up and said ‘I just can’t. I’m sorry.’ I have no idea what to make of this. I have tried to ask him about this, but he always changes the subject. Is he not attracted to me? Can he not physically complete the task because of the affair? I want to save my marriage, but I also want to have a healthy sex life again one day. Why would a man not be able to have sex with his wife after the affair?”

    I can’t speak for your husband, but I’d suspect that it wasn’t that he couldn’t have sex with you. I suspect that he could have completed the task if he had felt right about it. However, many men have quite a bit of guilt and shame after the affair. So they know that having sex again might create a good deal of awkwardness and negative feelings. On the one hand, they may very much want to have sex with you. But they are ashamed of this desire since they feel that they don’t have any right to ask this of you. Plus, they know that when you disrobe and begin to have sex, you might both be caught up in thoughts of him having sex with someone else, since that wound is so fresh. The thought of this might terrify him. And he might figure that it’s better to just wait to have sex than to try it now and have it be a disaster. Also, he may not want for it to look like he’s only interested in sex with you when he doesn’t really deserve it.

    I know that this is painful and may feel like a rejection, but let’s look at the facts. Your husband and yourself were having a nice, light-hearted time laughing together. He was clearly into it when he was kissing you. And then something changed. Since he’s told you that he’d like to save your marriage, I highly doubt that he’s not attracted to you. In fact, I’m sure it was tempting to have sex. However, he was probably trying to avoid a potentially embarrassing or awkward encounter. And perhaps he didn’t want for you to feel taken advantage of in the morning or he did not want for you to feel guilty.

    Many couples delay sex after an affair for a couple of different reasons. They want to make sure that it is the right time. They do not want to rush into it and potentially make bigger problems than they already had. Many know that if the sex was awkward and just not good then they would take that to mean that their marriage was doomed. So they wait until they are sure that it will be right, because they know that they are going to analyze it.

    Your husband could have the same thought process. He may want to wait until you’re both sure that it’s the right time. He may not want to look like the creep who is pressuring his wife to have sex after his affair. And he probably knows that you might both have thoughts of the affair during sex. All these reasons are why it can truly make sense to wait.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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  • Dealing with Changes in your Sexual Relationship when you are 60 or Older

    There are going to be some changes in a person’s life as they get older, there is nothing that can be done about it. One of them is that your sexual relationship is going to change. For some people it is for the better and for others it leaves them wishing for their younger days. Those that seem to enjoy sex more as they get older often find that with the reduction of stress in their life they can get more out of it.

    They may find they aren’t exhausted anymore too because life has slowed down for them. They may be retired now so the daily grind of work isn’t causing them to go to bed so tired they can’t even think about sex. They have plenty of time to spend looking and feeling good. This means they can also spend more time with their partner.

    As many individuals know, having a quality relationship on other levels with your partner leads to better sex. You may find that now that you have time to spend with each other on fun activities instead of just household chores you enjoy each other more. It can bring an entirely new level of intimacy to the bedroom for you as well.

    Many people over 60 that are retired also travel. The excitement of seeing new places with someone you have a sexual relationship with can rejuvenate your sex drive as well. You may find new locations for the activity to take place is quite a turn on. Where you are and what activities you are enjoying can also play a role in that.

    Not everyone will have such an increase in their sexual behavior though as they get older. Some people may really want to have sex more often but their body isn’t cooperating. They may find it harder to get or maintain an erection for the act to take place. This can lead to a great deal of embarrassment as well as anxiety.

    The body may just simply start to feel older and more worn down too. This can result in a person having less sexual activity than they did before. It can be frustrating when a person isn’t ready for these issues to take place. Sometimes you can get results if you take to a doctor. Other times you will have to be able to come to terms with some changes in your sexual behavior that are the result of aging.

    Talking to a counselor about it can be very helpful as well. Some older individuals become depressed when they find their sexual relationship isn’t what it once was. They may blame themselves for it and need help to cope. Others may become angry at their spouse due to their changed feelings towards sexual activity. It is very important for the relationship to be open enough to discuss such matters.

    Dealing with changes in your sexual relationship when you are 60 or older may not be your cup of tea, but you may find you have no choice. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that sex gets better for you as you get older. You may also find that the best is behind you. Yet you can still have a good time with it if you are willing to make some adjustments.

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  • 4 Ways to Improve Your Intimacy with Your Wife

    Are you married?  If so, you likely love your wife, right?  Despite a deep and intense love for your wife, you may still want to see an improvement in your intimacy.  After all, what man doesn’t want good sex?

    If you want to improve your intimacy with your wife, it is important to know that you have a number of different options.  Unfortunately, many men automatically start think of the bedroom. Yes, you do want to “wow,” your wife in the bedroom, but that is not all that sex and intimacy is about.  In fact, that is where many marriages go wrong.  Too much focus is placed on the sex or the lack of it.

    To help you properly improve your intimacy with your wife, please continue reading on.  A few easy to implement, yet successful approaches are highlighted below for your convenience.

    1 – Date Her

    How long have you been married?  If you have been married for a number of years now, do you honestly remember when your last “real,” date was.  Unfortunately, many men underestimate the power of a date. You will not want to make this mistake.  If you opt just for the sex, your wife may start to feel like it is her responsibility to please you and this is not how a relationship should work.

    To not only improve your satisfaction in the bed, but to improve your wife’s satisfaction, take her out on a date.  Many times, getting out of the house is enough to bring new excitement into a relationship.  For the best level of success, choose a romantic date theme, such as a fancy dinner, a romantic movie, or a night at a nice hotel.

    2 – Compliment Her

    When is the last time that you have paid your wife a truly nice and unique compliment?  If it has been a while, it is time for you to start again.  Is your wife wearing a new outfit?  Has she recently started a weight loss plan?  Did your wife get her hair cut?  If so, be sure to compliment her.  Complimenting your wife on her appearance will increase her self-confidence.  This, in turn, can improve experiences in the bedroom.

    As important as it is to compliment your wife on her appearance, it is also important to remember to compliment her on other areas of your relationship.  Do you notice that the house is clean?  Has your wife prepared a nice dinner?  If so, thank her for the job well done.  This will not only help to improve your relationship in general, but it can have an impact on your experiences in the bedroom.

    3 – Seduce Her

    What is sex like in your home?  Does it occur like clockwork?  Do you actually take the time to ask your wife if she wants to have sex?  If so, try to refrain from doing so.  Yes, you may be rejected, due to a headache or being tired, but why not take the chance?  Be spontaneous.  Seduce your wife.  Make her want to have sex with you.

    4 – Fulfill Her Fantasies

    In keeping with seducing your wife, let her know that you want to fulfill her fantasies.  It may take your wife a few times to open up about what she likes or fantasizes about sexually, but the information will likely come out soon.  Give it your all to fulfill your wife’s sexual fantasies.  It is also important to note that afterwards is the perfect time to share your fantasies and sexual desires with your wife.  In end, you may all end up being much more pleased.

    As you can see, there are a number of different ways that you can go about improving the intimacy in your relationship.  Please remember, however, that you want to get started in someplace other than the bedroom.  Sex in a marriage is about more and should be more than just the act itself.  Taking the time to date and compliment your wife will more than pay off in the end.

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  • Why Sex is Different for those over 60

    Sex has a way of making relationships difficult when we are younger. Many young people struggle with the issue of when it is the right time for them to start having sex. They may feel they have found the right person and then down the road wish they had waited for someone else to share that experience with.

    Many people will tell you that having sex at a young age can certainly lead to some difficulties with relationships. One party may want it to be very casual while the other has fallen in love. There are hurt feelings and even unwanted pregnancies that have to be dealt with. Some may say that they don’t want to think about sex and being older, but those over 60 will tell you it is different – and the love it.

    They don’t have to deal with all the same struggles as they once did. Most women over 60 will tell you that they don’t have to worry about looks. They know that the partner they are with wants to be with them for more than just the hot body they have. They have accepted that their body has changed with time and they still enjoy having sex.

    Men over the age of 60 will also tell you that the burden is off them to have the big muscles. They also don’t have to try to perform all night long like they did in their younger years. With all of the stress off the issue of having sex, the couple can focus on making each other feel good. It is a completely different feeling than what they experienced before.

    Both sexes will agree that sex at this age is about much more than just the physical side of things. It is a way to connect with someone they love, respect, and desire on a deeper level. Sex doesn’t have to be the central theme of the relationship so there isn’t any pressure for it to start taking place. They can take their time to get to know each other before they move on to that level.

    For couples who have been together for a very long time, they often find as they move into their 60’s that they have more time to spend with each other. This allows them to rekindle their love for each other that may have been pushed aside for many of the past years in their relationship.

    You will definitely find these types of relationships to be built on great communication. They two people will really enjoy being around each other. They love to talk and to spend time together. Having sex is just an added benefit of them spending that time with each other. They can bring that level of communication that they value into the sexual relationship as well.

    For those over 60, still having sex means that someone finds you to be desirable. This is very important to both men and women. It allows them to feel loved and cared for. It also allows them to have a level of intimacy that goes beyond just sitting close or holding hands with someone. That can help them to feel young and revitalized.

    You will also find that as people get older they value their relationships more. Even though young couples may be in love, they may not fully realize the importance of their choices. Older individuals are able to see the connection of a good relationship both outside of the bedroom and inside of it. That is what keeps their passion for each other alive.

    If you fit into the category of individuals who think it isn’t going to be much fun having sex one you are 60, think again. Re-evaluate your attitude about it once you have read the material online for those who are in that age group and loving their sex life. Things are going to change but having sex in your 60’s and beyond can be a completely new experience. It can be more rewarding in many ways then what you experienced at earlier times in your life.

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  • When Professional Help Is Needed to Help You Have a Better Sex Life

    Are you married?  If you are, are you currently satisfied with the level and amount of intimacy that you receive?  If you are not, you may want to take action right away.  Although a marriage should not be built on sex, it is still an important component.

    Unfortunately, when it comes to intimacy and not receiving enough of it, there are many husbands and wives who automatically think that their marriage is over.  Why?   Because many believe that a poor level of intimacy is the sign of boredom or the lack of love.  Yes, this can be true in some cases, but only a small number of cases.

    What you need to realize about intimacy is that there are a number of reasons why problems occur.  Just because your husband or wife does not want to be intimate with you or if they act like they want to get through the whole experience as quickly as possible, it does not mean that there is something wrong with you.  There may be other issues to blame, other issues that may require professional help.

    Some men and women just have low sex drives.  They may have always been this way or their need may have decreased with age.  In these types of situations, professional help is advised.  Some men and women can try their hardest, but they still aren’t interested in getting intimate with their spouses, no matter how much they do love and cherish them.

    If you suspect that you or your partner has a decreased sex drive, medical attention is advised.  It is important to know that there are many solutions to the problem.  Both men and women can use medication to revive their sexual wants and needs.  Speaking of medication, did you also know that medication can be to blame?  Some prescription medications have side effects that include a decreased sex drive.

    If there is no physical or emotional reason for your lack of intimacy, such as depression or a low sex drive, professional help is still advised.  This is particularly true if you are married.  Marriages should be worth saving.  You and your spouse are encouraged to attend marriage counseling together.  After a close examination, you may find a ton of other reasons why your intimacy isn’t what it should be.  These additional reasons may include being concerned with work or being concerned with money.  A marriage counselor can help you work through those concerns, which may help to improve the level and amount of intimacy that you receive at home.

    Despite the fact that there are times when professional help is needed to improve intimacy in a marriage, there are many individuals and couples who opt not to seek professional help.  One of the most common reasons for doing so is embarrassment.  If you are on the one who is embarrassed, it is important to remember that intimacy problems are actually very common in a marriage, especially a long-term marriage.  Do not be afraid to seek professional help.

    As a recap, if you are unsatisfied with the current level of intimacy that you are receiving in your marriage, professional help may be needed.  There may be an underlying issue that needs to be discussed or treated.  Don’t let your fear of embarrassment hold back you or your relationship.

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  • Tips for Buying Sex Toys and Accessories

    Are you looking for an easy way to spice up your sex life with your spouse?  If you are, you should know that experimenting in the bedroom has been successful for many couples, just like you.

    As nice as it is to know that experimenting in the bedroom may help to revive the romance in your relationship and improve your satisfaction in the bedroom, you may be curious about the buying process.  This is because one of the first ways that married couples experiment in the bedroom is with the use of sex toys and other similar accessories.

    If this is the first time that you are looking to purchase sex toys and other similar accessories, you may be a little bit nervous about doing so.  In fact, you may be downright fearful of the whole process.  You are, please continue reading on, as some helpful buying tips are covered below.

    First, it is important to know that sex toys and other similar accessories come in a number of different formats. You can purchase pleasure enhancing toys, role playing toys, massage oils and so forth.  This is important to know as it may eliminate some of the fear associated with going into a sex toy store and buying something that will bring attention to yourself, like a huge blowup doll.

    Speaking of bringing attention to yourself, it is important to know that the use of sex toys in intimacy is increasing in popularity.  Many individuals are finding them to be a great new way to bring passion and excitement into the bedroom.  Although you might not know it, there is a good chance that your friends and even some of your relatives use these popular toys and accessories.  Knowing that you are not alone may help to make the buying process a lot easier.

    If you live near a large city or town, you should have multiple sex toy and accessory shops for you to choose from.  With that said, it you would prefer to shop online, you can do that as well.  For shopping online, perform a standard internet search the type of items or accessories you are looking for.  Choose a website that has a large selection of sex toys and similar accessories available for sale, a website that has good prices, and one that looks reputable.

    Many couples prefer shopping online for sex toys, as it does tend to limit the embarrassment.  The only thing is that you need to be careful with who you shop with.  You will want to do business with a company that is discrete.  Make sure your package doesn’t arrive with a phrase like “We Sell Sex Toys,” plastered around the box.  Also, what will appear on your credit card or bank statements?  This may be a concern of yours if you don’t want what seems like the whole world knowing what you do in your private life.

    As a reminder, as fearful as you may be of walking into a sex store for the first time or as worried you may be having a red box that screams sexual contents sitting on your doorstep, don’t worry.  Remember that a lot of couples use sex toys as a way to bring fun and excitement into the bedroom.  If you are looking to spice up your sex life, visit a local store with your spouse or browse the internet together.  This alone may help to get you in the mood.

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  • Improving Your Sex Life: How to Be Spontaneous

    Are you looking to improve your sex life?  If you are, you may have already heard that being spontaneous is advised.  Spontaneity often leads it an increase in interest and an increase in satisfaction, in terms of intimacy.  Unfortunately, some men and women find being spontaneous a lot easier said than done.  If you are one of those individuals, please continue reading on for some helpful tips.

    One of the many ways that you can be spontaneous is by not waiting for your partner to initiate sex.  Unfortunately, many women wait for their husbands or boyfriends to get sex started.  Why wait?  You shouldn’t.  In fact, did you know that your partner may be hoping that you start showing more interest in being intimate with them?  What better way to do so than to initiate sex yourself?

    A creative way to be spontaneous, where sex and intimacy is concerned, is by using text messages.  If you and your partner have and use cell phones, send sexy and seductive text messages to them.  In addition to text messages, you can also call your partner or send love notes with them when they walk out the door.

    As previously stated, there are some individuals who find it difficult to be spontaneous.  Parents are often one of those individuals.  Even if you are a parent who has children in the house, there are a still a number of ways that you can be spontaneous, in terms of intimacy with you partner.  Did you just put your children down for bed?  Jump on your partner, literally, as soon as your kids leave the room.  Most parents want to sit down and relax after their kids have gone to bed, but show your partner that you have other things on your mind.

    Having sex somewhere other than the bed or the bedroom is another way to be spontaneous with your partner.  If you are a parent who has kids in the house, just be careful.  Don’t have sex outside of the bedroom when they may be awake at night and don’t be too loud or you may have an uncomfortable situation on yours hands.

    As for where you can have sex outside of the bedroom, use your creativity.  Where do you want to have sex?  What locations would allow you to try new positions that just can’t be done in a bed?  In addition to being intimate in places like on the couch, in a closet, in the bathroom, or on the kitchen table, consider going outside of the home as well, like to a hotel.

    Speaking of getting intimate outside of the home, surprise your partner.  You can do this by booking a night at a hotel in town.  Make sure you choose one that has romantic rooms or an onsite hot tub or swimming pool.  If you are a parent, arrange childcare for your children first, like by calling on a trusted friend or family member.  Don’t tell your partner about your plans until you are ready to leave, as being spontaneous involves surprising them.

    As you can see, there are a number of different ways that you can use spontaneity as a way to improve your relationship, both inside and outside of the bedroom.  What are you waiting for?  Get started today?  Your partner may appreciate your quick thinking.

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