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  • Drug Addiction in Senior Citizens

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    Drug addiction in senior citizens is a significant and growing problem in the United States that few people are aware of. In fact, addiction that occurs later in life can be difficult to detect, and sometimes the person suffering from this disease might not even know that they are physically and emotionally dependent on a particular substance. Therefore, a policy of education about the dangers of addiction in older people is essential in order for those who are close to them to recognize any problem and know what options are available to get help. This is especially important considering that recent increases in the amount of older people entering drug rehab programs indicate this problem is probably far worse than we might think.

    The primary way that seniors get addicted to drugs is as a result of chronic pain management. Even under strict medical supervision, addiction to pain medications can and does still occur. This is because these types of narcotics work the same for everyone: they initially manage pain well, then the body develops tolerance and more of the drug is required. With an increase in dosage and consistent use, tolerance increases and eventually leads to physical dependence. Physical dependence almost invariably leads to outright addiction at a mental and emotional level. Therefore, seniors who are taking pain medications regularly are at increased risk for addiction. And because these medications are prescribed by doctors, most people consider them harmless and don’t think that addiction will ever become an issue. However, once it sets in, addiction is a lifelong affliction that can cause serious health issues.

    Another primary reason that older people become addicted to drugs or alcohol is as a result of lifestyle changes. These changes include the celebration of a life of toil and work, but can lead to some very bad habits. For instance, frequent dinners that include wine or beer can quickly become problematic. Before a person knows it, they’re having cocktails with lunch and dinner, and eventually Mimosas or Bloody Mary’s with breakfast.

    As a result of inactivity after a lifetime of working, some seniors have difficulty sleeping. Medications designed to help people get to sleep are extremely addicting and can lead to significant problems with memory loss. Older people who are addicted to sleeping pills often engage in strange or erratic behavior while having no recollection of doing so. And because sleep aids can lead to a persistent state of confusion, it can be difficult for a person to understand that they have a problem.

    Grief and depression is often a significant problem for senior citizens. As people get older their friends, family and associates age as well, and the loss of these people becomes a common occurrence. This combined with decreased levels of activity can lead to a state of depression that some people might seek to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. Boredom and lack of exercise serve to exacerbate these problems.

    If you have an older loved one with a drug or alcohol problem, their very life could depend on you. The following options are readily available:

    Individual Therapy/Counseling

    Intervention

    Outpatient Rehab

    Inpatient Rehab

    Group and Family Therapy

    Don’t wait a moment longer to take action; the earlier addiction or alcoholism is treated, the higher the likelihood of success.

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    Source by Jim Debbies

    Views: 0

  • How to Make Money Online: A Beginners Guide to Earn From Home

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    How To Make Money Online

    Making money online is NOT EASY at all. But it’s NOT THAT DIFFICULT too, if you are following a proper path. Without these following three things making money online will always remain a dream for you:-

    • Hard work
    • Perseverance
    • Patience

    If you think you have got the above mentioned three things, then let’s jump right into the topic.

    Below are some of the most authentic and legit ways to make money online

    Freelancing

    What is Freelancing?

    If you are into making money online, you must have heard the term Freelancing. But what does it really mean? Freelancing means working on a contract basis rather than on a regular basis for a company or organization and getting paid for hour of work, days of work or per project.

    YouTube

    Now a day You-tube is booming like anything. More and more people are coming to YouTube to find a solution to their problem, to learn something new and to entertain themselves. With this increasing popularity YouTube is also becoming a money making machine for content creators. Yes! In case you don’t know you can earn a decent amount of money by creating YouTube videos. Although YouTube videos don’t pay by themselves, you can make money by placing Google AdSense ads on your videos (of course there are other ways to make money on YouTube but for now we will stick to Google AdSense). The more views and clicks your ads get the more money you will make.

    Blogging

    Blogging basically means writing posts on any niches on the internet, which are updated frequently. You can write on different niches which include but not limited to personal journals, News, Technology, Health and Fitness, Gaming, Parenting or any other topic you are interested in.

    Affiliate Marketing

    These days almost every product is available online, whether it is as small as a needle or as big as a car, everything is available online. And people are inclining more and more towards buying products from online stores may be because of the easy accessibility of products and convenient home delivery system.

    These online stores need to advertise their products in some way and affiliate marketing is one of the many ways they promote their products. So affiliate marketing is a form of advertisement in which the affiliate (in this case you) promotes the products from different online store in his/her blog or website through a unique link (generally referred as affiliate link). The affiliate gets a commission when someone buys a product through that link then (generally some percentage of the price of the purchased product).

    Almost every big online store has an affiliate program which you can join to promote their products in your website and get a commission in return if someone buys from your affiliate link.

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    Source by Manas Ranjan Meher

    Views: 0

  • Will You Really Lose 23 Pounds in a 3 Week Period?

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    The three Week diet system has gained popularity inside a very short space of time. This program was only developed back in 2015. It has been is actually a weight reducing plan that aims to experience more positive results very rapidly. This healthy eating plan is made this means you lose weight quickly – between 12-20 lbs within only a 3 week period – provided that you follow the diet towards the letter.

    The majority of people who start healthy eating plan are basically not able to achieve their desired goal as they give up prior to discover the results they want. Diets which aim to reduce weight by two pounds every week are all thoroughly but my motivation, like my willpower, declines pretty rapidly unless I have a compelling an opportunity to meet your weight loss goals.

    I’m not alone. Dieting for weeks with limited results demotivates people and these people tend to stop trying. This was the reason that nutritionist Brian Flatt developed all three Week Diet; a system which caused your body to lose body fat rapidly and accelerated weightloss.

    Shedding any additional fat and after that keeping the momentum to sustain your weight can be difficult the three week diet manual not exclusively tells you what needs to be done for 21 days it also informs what needs to be done using the a three week period considering the diet in order to maintain your new weight.

    So how does the Week Diet Work?The main overwhelming comprehensive 3-week diet plan happens to be the healthier food plan which consists of 4 different phases.

    Phase 1 was the most difficult for me. It lasted and get a week and such was the phase in which I lost by far the most weight. I came to be 9 pounds lighter by the end of the week.

    Phase 2 was nearly 1 day however I also lost a pound this time

    Phase 3 was from day 9 till 11. This was rather unusual and I lost another 3 pounds.

    Phase 4 was when it comes to the remaining days i.e. 12 to 21. The main target associated with this 9 day phase would be to continue losing weight while returning to better “normal” diet. I came to be another four pounds down via the end of the phase. So less drastic, but effective none the less.

    As so many weight loss diet plans are, it has been both a diet and exercise program. The movement plan is comprised of a walk daily (not too strenuous!) and an optional workout which accelerates fat.

    Phase 1 of the three Week Healthy eating plan in Action

    There’s no getting away from it. Phase 1 was hard. It’s a 3 meals each day product of any accident diet. It’s heavily restrictive in the different kinds of food, and methods of cooking I was just free to eat. Fortunately you had include unlimited quantities of some vegetables, and so I was capable of submit upon them beyond the prescribed volumes of meat and fish.

    I weighed myself each day and I really found it motivating to get access to needle toward the scales creeping down. Finally it was a reliable job. I can’t deny that I had become hungry and slightly cranky until I started to drink coffee again!

    I also implement exercises. Again, not easy, but ticking from the days separately, truly understanding that finally it was only for a short time made the difference.

    At the end of phase 1 I was beside myself with delight to see that I’d broken all previous records and lost 9 whole pounds. I remember phase 1 of your eating routine, it felt nearly impossible that I would emotionally for your whole week without cheating – and OK, I conducted cheat little. But after getting through the initial week I soon became quite elated and far thinner.

    Phase 2

    Phase 2 is basically a one day fast. Following the restriction of a given previous week it looked like this is hard, but honestly, I was just shocked to locate this was one of the easiest days on the whole program. In my opinion pursuing the previous week to the letter had set me open to success. And again I was just delighted to become another pound lighter from the following morning.

    I’d seriously tell that whenever you purchase all three Week Diet regime book just don’t skip the fasting phase. There really is a rationale for your way the a nutritious diet is built and, much to my surprise, it certainly does work.

    Phase 3

    This phase lasts 4 days and is actually undoubtedly the most unusual and counter-intuitive. So much in fact that we began to research it myself for you be sure I came to be doing the right thing! Fortunately, I discovered that it also wasn’t as wacky when I thought and there was indeed some solid science behind this phase considering the plan.

    I went to the trouble of doing find this phase quite challenging since it was the very first where I’d was required to calculate the calories I was eating. I discovered that it’s fairly easy in order to get calories values away from the internet for almost any food you could think about and then it’s just a concern of using weighing scales (more accurate than cup measures) to make sure your serving sizes are correct.

    I didn’t lose particularly as much weight when I expected on this phase, but I think it was considering that I didn’t start weighing things so that the 3rd day when I found that my previous estimates of precisely how much I should eat were far off base.

    Still, another phase, another 1.5 pounds and it also is sure to have been more had I planned it properly.

    Phase 4 – The ultimate countdown.Phase 4 happens to be the longest phase and exists for 9 days. It involves a gradual return to more than normal healthy nutrition diet. Specifically how many calories you consume daily during this phase is based upon your whole body Mass Index or BMI. There’s a section among the manual which explains how to calculate this from your body fat and height then how you can work well what you require consume in accordance with the result.

    I continued takes into consideration myself each day plus the pounds did continue to drop – albeit at a slightly slower rate. I was just pleased however to returns a highly competent normally balanced diet where no food resources were expressly forbidden (unless I’d skipped a page in the manual.

    I noticed that my belly fat was gradually disappearing and I my jeans were fitting less snugly – even after they’d just been washed! My waist had shrunk by 2 inches and I was I had the ability to tighten my belt by 3 extra holes.

    Through end of the phase, I was just another four pounds lighter.

    Does that Fast Weight loss program Succeed?

    Absolutely. I followed the 3 Week Nutritional routine and, other than a few cheats, I lost an entire of 14.5 pounds. I went to the trouble of doing most of the mandatory exercise but not much of the optional workouts. I discovered the workouts quite difficult, then again I’m in no way fit to start off with. Despite it being hard, the level of weight I lost in their normal relatively short period of time caused it to be a good idea. Surely I can have lost more if I’d planned better, exercised countless and not cheated.

    I’d a chance for getting a a handful of weeks without gaining some or all of these weight back!! Then implement whole diet again. The other time around phase 1 was much less complicated – I believe my forms was implemented into it and didn’t hand over coffee now. I didn’t lose as much weight, but I’m now 30 pounds lighter than I had become 8 months ago and for the first timers I am able to honestly say I’m satisfied with my appearance.

    The double benefit is currently I know how to sustain my weight and also if I leave mad on holiday and place throughout the few pounds, I’m sure I am able to lose them again without a lot of effort.

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    Source by Saheem Al Kindi

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  • Internal Customer Service: Guidelines for Suppliers and Contractors

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    Change management and organization development experts talk about ‘creating alignment’ – aligning organizational strategy with daily business needs. And a big part of this is creating alignment between customer needs and employee actions as customer service providers. But we also have to take note of internal customers – those people within the organization that service us – as internal customers and who we service as internal customers. “There is a remarkably close and consistent link between how internal customers are treated and how external customers perceive the quality of your organization’s services. It is almost impossible to provide good external service if your organization is not providing good internal service.” R. Zemke and K. Anderson, Delivering Knock Your Socks Off Service, 1981.

    And it’s not just about internal customers within the walls of your organization, it’s also about those arms-length internal customers and customer service providers – suppliers and contractors – those people who either supply your organization directly or come into contact with your external customers, directly, as your representative. These suppliers and contractors should be considered an integral part of your organization and the service they provide should be measured as accurately and frequently as you measure the service level you provide.

    To my mind, servicing others, whether internal or external (customer, supplier, colleague, peer, supervisor, contractor), should reflect the values of your organization and the process to retain the best customers – again, whether internal or external – can be applied across any of these groups. Suppliers and contractors should be selected and retained based on their commitment to servicing your customers – and your employees – as you require them to be serviced. Although you do not ‘own’ these suppliers and contractors, you have the right to demand the equivalent level of service you provide to your customers. When selecting your suppliers and contractors, or measuring the ones you currently are associated with, the following guidelines may help ensure that internal service meets the standard.

    Recruit suppliers and contractors as you would your employees.

    You should be seeking out the best person for the job, the high performer who will be able to deliver on your business expectations and drive up results for your company. Why not utilize some of the recruiting tools you use when conducting a search for an employee? Think about it. You will be paying this supplier or contractor to perform services for you or your customers so you should expect them to be of the calibre you expect from a new employee. Consider requesting a resume of their qualifications and experience, customers they have serviced, certifications that may be required, and if available, customer testimonials. Interview them in a similar fashion to the way in which you interview for employees. Check their references and make sure you put in place a contractual arrangement that clearly documents what you expect from them and what they can expect from you (this is just another version of position profiles and expectations for the role).

    In these cases, you are seeking high performers capable of servicing both your customers and your employees. And you have a responsibility to provide them with the information, resources and possibly, tools, they will need to service both these groups accurately and professionally.

    Provide clear expectations of performance.

    Even if your suppliers and contractors have worked with your organization for a long period of time, it is critical to periodically review your expectations of their role and how you expect them to service your customers. Customers are retained because they have developed a good relationship with their supplier and any contractor or supplier who is dealing with your customer directly, is seen by the customer to be an employee of your company, and hence; representing your company.

    When I was a general manager for an energy distribution company, one of our contractor service technicians accidentally cut the customer’s phone line. The first issue for the customer was, of course, the cut phone line and the inconvenience associated. The second issue was that the contractor apologized but told the customer he would have to call our company to secure satisfaction regarding the cost and inconvenience of having the line repaired. The third issue was the response the customer received from the Branch Manager when he called our company office to complain. He was told we were not responsible since it was a contractor that had cut the line! Yes, I too, was shocked when the customer got through to me to complain and told me what the Branch Manager had said. Even more distressing was the fact that the Branch Manager defended his position when I called him about the complaint!

    No doubt we did not clearly identify to our contractor our customer service expectations. To me, they were simple. Apologize to the customer, call our office immediately to request a solution and then work with the customer to get the solution implemented. Simple to me but certainly not to our contractor or, I quickly discovered, to my Branch Manager.

    So my next step was to build a contractor customer service agreement and develop a customer service training program to implement with both our employees and our contractors. We then implemented it across my region. We still had customer service issues with both our contractors and our employees, periodically,but this was a great first step.

    Conduct frequent performance reviews.

    Providing your suppliers and contractors with regular, specific feedback will not only give you confidence that they are meeting your needs but will also provide opportunities for them to discuss any customer service challenges, issues, or problems with you before they result in lost customers. These regular reviews should be part of the contract between you and the contractor and they should be implemented on schedule. During these reviews you should include their primary employee contacts to ensure all partners are clear about the issues and able to participate in developing the solutions. This secures commitment to the solutions.

    Reward and recognize customer service excellence.

    At a minimum, providing them with a reference signifies that you are pleased with their customer service performance. But, without a doubt, the best reward for suppliers and contractors is securing more work from you.

    Following these guidelines will go a long way to ensuring alignment between your company, your employees and your suppliers and contractors – to the business goals and strategy. All sectors can then be focused on delivering the expected level of customer service to the customer base you want to retain.

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    Source by Donna Stevenson

    Views: 0

  • Teaching Entrepreneurship To Children: Should We Do It?

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    Should we be teaching entrepreneurship to children? When you were a child did you ever have a stand where you sold soft drinks like sodas? Did you ever offer cakes and candy to other students at school in order to make some money?

    Not everybody is bitten by the entrepreneurial bug when they are kids however. I truly believe that it’s vital teaching entrepreneurship to children. The harsh realities of entering into the workforce in a difficult economy presents a lot of challenges. The alternative of being an entrepreneur and working for yourself is something that should be explained to children and young people.

    Making then Aware of an Alternative

    The main thing working against our children having an entrepreneurial mindset is our education system. With only a few exceptions, most of the teaching we get from the time we are in kindergarten to the day we graduate from college is…

    * Make sure you get a good education

    * Study hard and graduate with your degree

    * Get a wonderful job with great additional benefits and you’re set for life!

    There are a number of issues with this.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with working and getting a good job with for a terrific company. A lot of people end up doing this and a some enjoy it and make a huge contribution to their company.

    The real truth is that there is a HUGE portion of people who are not pleased with their jobs and are in fact totally dissatisfied. This can be due to the fact that they either do not like the work they do, who they actually work with or they may not get paid enough being just one paycheck away from being broke.

    The Second problem is that it is very RARE in these modern times to find anybody that works at one specific job for more than 3 to 5 years. Switching between jobs regularly has actually become the “brand-new standard”.

    That’s why it’s so essential in teaching entrepreneurship to children and revealing to them that there is an option to having to go out into the workforce to make a living. Would it not make more sense to instruct children about entrepreneurship and show them a that there is a very real alternative to living a life in the corporate world.

    Teaching them about things like beginning their own home-business… particularly an online business. We have to remember that the younger generation now invest most of their time online nowadays. So,when they are young, why not instruct them about how to make money with a medium like the internet that they are so comfortable using.

    Keeping it Real

    Understanding that children these days can truly benefit from finding out how to begin their own business, how do we begin teaching them about it?

    I think it’s extremely important to set the right expectations early on. Having your own business can be an amazing experience, however children should be taught that it does also include hard work and dedication. This is something that children (and adults) in some cases choose to skip over.

    The reality is beginning an online business has the possibility to make you a lot more money than most everyday jobs.

    It’s essential to offer children choices. Make them understand the benefits and challenges of working in the “Rat Race” and the alternative of working for themselves in their own business.

    To be really practical we have to remember that children will regularly want to select the most simple and “Safest” method rather than something that might present a greater challenge and require a little additional effort even though in the long-term they could be much better off.

    Keep Their Dreams Alive

    The last thing to keep in mind is to be supportive of children who wish to start their own company. You see most children still have dreams and goals when they are young.

    As time goes and life presents some obstacles to their dreams in various forms, children then start to lower their goals and become more willing to settle for mediocrity. That is unless they have someone to look up to and admire and to learn from. Be the kind of individual who motivates and supports those children to dream big and work hard to realise their ambitions.

    With it becoming harder to find a good job nowadays, young children (and lots of grownups) need to be aware of the option of a home based business as a vehicle to achieve their dreams and objectives. Teaching entrepreneurship to children and assisting them in preserving their dreams can help pave a path on their journey to financial freedom and a life filled with passion.

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    Source by Merv Stevens

    Views: 0

  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

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    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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    Source by Mandy Peterson

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  • Holistic Approach For Faster and Better Healing – What Does It Include?

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    The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word holistic as follows:

    “relating to or concerned with complete systems rather than with individual parts”

    This term – holistic is used a lot these days in terms of healing and curing diseases/ailments. Looking at the definition, this seems to be an obvious route to rightful healing any particular ailment or disease.

    Diet

    When we visit a doctor looking for curing some of our physical issues, he/she will give us some medicine/drug. These days, doctors also prescribe dietary recommendations to follow for faster recovery. Why do they do it? Is the medicine alone not enough? You will say, there is an obvious reason. The medicine will fight against the undesired elements in the body and diet will help build strength at the same time normalizing the function and thereby facilitating the healing process, right? If there is such a holistic approach, the healing is better and faster.

    Stress

    It is very commonly understood that stress makes any ailment or disease worse. Therefore, stress management along with medicine and diet further accelerates the healing process. One might watch comedy movies, read positive books, stay in positive company, or take a walk in park, play some sport or exercise for eliminating stress and thereby helping the healing.

    The Energy Body

    The Energy Body interpenetrates the physical body and extends beyond it by a few inches. This is one another aspect that healing professionals are also looking into for a much more holistic approach. The energy body is also seen affected by various clairvoyants and the effect of working on energy body is manifested on physical body sometimes immediately and sometimes with a time-lag depending on various factors.

    Working on energy body alone does not seem to be a holistic approach either, although, there are many who are trying to do it. Just like traditional medicine is supported by diet and stress management, the energy healing/medicine can also receive equivalent support from traditional medicine, diet and stress management. It is ideal to do all four

    Counselling (Emotional Body)

    Another aspect that is also very important is our emotions and our will power. This is a deeper and very important aspect of healing that is mostly ignored. Are we emotionally and mentally ready to get healed? Sometimes medicines do not work, diet does not work, energy healing does not work. One of the reasons is our willingness to heal which is influenced to some extent by our emotions. One should also consider taking counselling sessions with the therapist, or with someone else or sometimes talking to ones own self also does wonders. The holistic approach should definitely include this aspect of healing as well.

    It will be great to know if any of the aspects are missed and comments on the description mentioned in the article. Feel free to share your thoughts by comments or email.

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    Source by Nazia Hirani

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