Global Digital Store – Ebooks and Softwares

Tag: Ideal

  • Spinoza’s Ethics of Strength of the Emotions in W Somerset Maughm’s Of Human Bondage

    [ad_1]

    The writer probes on the complex world of W. Somerset Maughm’s protagonist in the novel Of Human Bondage, using the propositions the Jewish Portuguese philosopher Baruch Spinoza postulated in his book Ethics in 1674. Some of Spinoza’s propositions are as follows( Morgan, 2006, pp 108-120):

    The following propositions of Spinoza enlighten the changing character of Philip in his own bildungsromans of his life. The force and increase of any passive emotion and its persistence in existing is defined not by the power whereby we ourselves endeavour to persist in existing, but by the power of external causes compared with our own power;

    The force of any passive emotion can surpass the rest of man’s activities or power so that the emotion stays firmly fixed in him;

    An emotion cannot be checked or destroyed except by a contrary emotion which is stronger than the emotion which is to be checked;

    Knowledge of good and evil is nothing other than the emotion of pleasure or pain insofar as we are conscious of it;

    An emotion whose cause we think to be with us in the present is stronger than it would be if we did not think the said cause to be with us;

    We are affected toward a future thing which we imagine to be imminent mo intensely than if we were to imagine its time of existence tofarther away from the present. We are also affected by a remembrance of a thing we imagine to belong to the near past more intensely if we were to imagine it to belong to the distant past;

    An emotion toward a thing which we think of as inevitable [necessarius] is more intense, other things being equal, than emotion toward a thing possible or contingent, that is, not inevitable;

    Emotion toward a thing which we know not exist in the present, and which we imagine to be possible, is, other things being equal, more intense than emotion toward a contingent thing;

    Emotion toward a contingent thing which we know not to exist in the present, is, other things being equal, feebler than emotion toward a thing past;

    No emotion can be checked by the true knowledge of good and evil, insofar as it is true, but only insofar as it is;

    Desire that arises from the true knowledge of good and evil can be extinguished or checked by many other desires that arise from the emotions by which we are assailed;

    The desires that arises from a knowledge of good and evil insofar as this knowledge has regard to to the future can be the more easily checked or extinguished by desire of things that are attractive in the present;

    Desire that arises from the true knowledge of good and evil insofar as this knowledge is concerned with contingent things can be even more easily checked by desire for things which are present;

    Desire arising from pleasure is, other things being equal, stronger than desire arising from pain;

    Every man, from the laws of his nature, necessarily seeks or avoids what he judges to be good or evil.

    The more every man endeavours and is able to seek advantage, that is, to preserve his own being, the more he is endowed with virtue. On the other hand insofar as he neglects to preserve what is to his advantage, that is, his own being to that extent he is weak.

    Philip is highly affected by nature. There is in Nature no individual thing that is surpassed in strength and power by some other thing. Whatsoever thing there is, there is another more powerful by which the said thing can be destroyed. And he was able to surpass all his problems because of the incoming different emotions, problems which proved to make him stronger if not released from “Human Bondage”.

    The force whereby a man persist in existing is limited, and infinitely surpassed by the power of external causes.

    Philip’s deformity limits his own persistence to live. But his meeting with Hayward, Clutton and Lawson, his former classmates in France, who taught him that life is all about passion and the pursuit of it, he became engross in his art. France did not also care about his clubfoot. Cronshaw taught him more philosophy in life about living in let live. Cronshaw even on his death bed, defied doctors’ prohibition. His life is anyway to end just like any other’s lives.

    Set in Kent, England, a sub-urban near London, the novel presents the multifaceted personal, social, political and religious experiences of Philip carey from his childhood to his middle age of thirty. A bildungsroman (1991, Smiley) in style, which highlights the formation of a youngman’s character through education, travels and early life experiences. Philip at the age of nine, as a young boy, is set apart from his peers by some misfortune and undergoes a humiliating experience that later proves strengthening. his first experience of love is unsuccessful or problematic one that nevertheless paves the way to a happy marriage with a suitable mate. The novel has ample observation, if not criticism, with the character’s institutions such as schools, churches and class structures.

    Philip’s personal life is truly an amalgam of life’s tragedies. But how he surpassed the seemingly insurmountable heap of oppressing weight, if not the meaninglessness or nothingness of life, is the focus of this attempt anchored on Spinoza’s propositions. To enumerate, at an early age, his mother died of tuberculosis and his father, a medical doctor, died of lung cancer. His innocence never understood the situation. He has only the temporary joy of travelling to Blackstable to live with his uncle William and childless Auntie Louisa. Forcibly liking his second family as an orphan, he is left reading his books without noise for his uncle, a Vicar in the community, is irated with children’s unruly behaviour. Aunt Louisa is incapable of understanding Philip. he is left with the care of the governess. His personal disability or deformity, being born with a club-foot, proves to be the stigma of his life forever. His early education in Kingston School, caused his early childhood bitter as his peers laughed at him, mocked and physically abused him because of his physical abnormality. Then, his adolescence which brings him to Heidelberg, Germany to study foreign languages, is never sweet. Girls chided him for his deformity. the consolation is meeting friends like Hayward and Miss Wilkinson, who flirted with him, to his disgust. His sojourn to France, albeit, his uncle’s disappointment, proves to be annihilating. His lack of talent in painting plus his deformity, made him a mediocre student. His classmate Fanny Price, who fell in love with him, on the pretext of sharing the same abnormality (hers is lack of beauty), committed suicide out of hunger and wretchedness.

    Then everything escalated to its height, when realizing that painting is not his passion, he goes back to England. He decides to change again to pursue what his uncle William tells him to do: to follow the footsteps of his father. To be a doctor. feeling he has nothing to do, he embraces the new idea. Sauntering along the Parliamentary Street of London, he is driven to dine in a cafe where he meets the slatternly waitress Mildred Rogers who awakens his sexual desire. But his languid mien, caused by his club-foot proves to be a disadvantage. the waitress prefers rugged and rich men. But his desire to pursue the pale, anaemic, aloof Mildred, beomes a challenge to him. Gradually, the two becomeclose. But the ambitious and materialistic waitress always insults him because of his deformity. to slander him cripple, would totally “cripple” his mood and emotion. Even when Philip is generous to the moody Mildred, she hurt him by marrying a German businessman Miller. His desperation is tantamount to his yearning for Mildred. He is left believing that one day, he would see Mildred again. His concentration with his medical study is forlorned. And Mildred came back,looking sickly, with a child. His generosity and forgiveness for his first love, who hurts him the most, is even greater than life. The ingrate waitress after a little recovery from poverty, elopes with Griffith, Philip’s handsome and robust classmate. That is the height of Mildred’s shamelessness. So her expected return is welcomed with derision by the newly awakened Philip. Even when Mildred turns into a prostitute, Philip is only capable of compassion, without passion or sexual desire. She is freed at last. And Philip is extricated from the pains excruciatingly caused by the destitute Mildred.

    His obsession to Mildred costs Philip his fortune and gradually his savings is left with seven pounds. He is forced to stop from his medical studies that brings him to experience unbelievable poverty. He meets the generous Athelneys who fed and sheltered him in his misery. His uncle’s death, leaving an average fortune, helps him to finish his medical studies. His fateful shelter with the Athelneys brings him to his final, harmonious and peaceful resolution to marry Sally Athelney and go on with his life beautifully. Shakespeare is affirmed by saying that “all is well that ends well.

    At this juncture, it is noteworthy to enumerate Spinoza’s propositions to elucidate Philip’s “bondage” and his strength of his emotion. Spinoza in his preface to his philosophical treatise wrote:

    I assign the term “bondage” to man’s lack of power to control and check the emotions. For a man at the mercy of his emotions is not his own master but is subject to fortune, in whose power he so lies that he is often compelled, although he sees the better course, to pursue the worse. In this Part I have set myself the task of demonstrating why is so, and also what is good and what is bad in emotions. But before I begin, I should like to make a few preliminary observations on perfection and imperfection, and on good and bad ( Morgan, 2006).

    In the beginning, Philip is a slave if not a victim of his emotion. His physical deformity, his club-foot, caused him too much pain. He learned to hate his classmates and,worst, abandoned his belief in God. He could not appreciate the God of his uncle vicar when God cannot give him the miracle he wanted to have normal feet. His painful childhood in school changed him to be rough character. He never wanted to become a vicar anymore. His obsession to Mildred indeed showed his real weakness as a man, and even wretchedness as a human being because of his deformity. he would always think that women cannot love him as he is because of his deformity.

    He who has undertaken something and has brought it to completion will say that the thing is completed; and not only he but everyone who rightly knew, or thought he knew, the intention and aim of the author of that work. For example, if anyone sees a work (which I assumed is not yet finished) and knows that the aim of author is to build a house, he will say the house is imperfect. On the other hand, as soon as he sees that the work has been brought to the conclusion that its author had intended to give it, he will say that the house is perfect. But if anyone sees a work whose like he had never seen before, and he does not know the artifecer’s intention, he cannot possibly know whether the work is perfect or imperfect.

    This appears to have been the original meaning of these terms. But when men began to form general ideas and to devise ideal type of houses, buildings, towers, and so on, and to prefer some models to others, it came about that each called “perfect” that which he saw at variance with his own preconceived ideal, although in the artifecer’s opinion it had been fully completed. There seems to be no other reason why even natural phenomena (those not made by human hand) should commonly be called perfect or imperfect. For men there are wont to form general ideas both natural phenomena and artifacts, and these ideas they regard as models, and they believed that Nature (which they consider does nothing without an end in view) looks to this ideas and holds them before herself as models. So when they see something occurring in Nature at variance with their preconceived ideal of the thing in question, they believed that Nature has then failed or blundered and has left that thing imperfect from their own preconceptions rather than from true knowledge.

    So perfection and imperfection are in reality only models of thinking, notions which we are wont to invent from comparing individuals of the same species or kind; and it is for this reason that I previously said (Def. 6, II) that by reality and perfection I mean the same thing. For we are wont to classify all the individuals in Nature under one genus which is called the highest genus, namely, the notion of Entity, which pertains to all the individuals in Nature without exception. Therefore insofar as we classify individuals in Nature under this genus and compare them with one another and find that some have more being or reality than others, to that extent we say that some are more perfect than the others. And insofar as we attribute to them something involving negotiation, such as limit, end, impotence and so on, to that extent we call them imperfect because they do not affect our minds as much as those we call perfect, and not because they lack something of anything except that which follows from the necessity of nature of its efficient cause; and whatever follows from the necessity of the nature of its efficient cause must be necessarily be so.

    To be a master of his emotion is to attain perfection. It may not be physical but spiritual, mental and emotional. His challenges may have hardened him but enlightened him to loosen up and later, embrace the beauty of life. The unattainable perfection, was answered, through his friend Cronshaw, a poet whom he met in France, that the meaning of life cannot be answered unless one lives it. he realized that men are born, study, work, marry, have children and die is the most beautiful pattern that the Persian rug edifies.

    As for the terms “good” and “bad,” they likewise indicate nothing positive in things considered in themselves, and nothing but models of thinking, or notions which we form from comparing things with one another. For one and the same thing can at the same time be good and bad, and also indifferent. For example, music is good for one who is melancholy, bad for one in mourning, and neither good or bad for the deaf. However, although this is so, these terms ought to be retained. For since we desire to form the idea of man which we may look to as model of human nature, we shall find it useful to keep these terms in the sense I have indicated. So in what follows I shall mean by “good” that which we certainly know to be the means for our approaching nearer to the model of human nature that we set before ourselves, and by “bad” that which we certainly know prevents us from reproducing the said model. For it is important to note that when I say somebody passes from a state of less perfection, to a state of greater perfection, and vice versa, I do not mean that he changes from one essence or to form to another (for example, a horse is as completely destroyed if it changes into a man as it would be if it were to change into an insect), but that we conceive his power of activity, insofar as this is understood through his nature, to be increased or diminished.

    Philip may have been both good and bad due to circumstances. he was good in the Blackstable with his Auntie Louisa and Uncle William. he became bad in school because his classmates taunted him because of his clubfoot. In Heidelberg, he is good to all the people even if he did not understand their silence and even their insolence. In France, was forced to become bad, to protect himself from the looming abuses of other foreigners. The death of an anti-social fanny Price, showed him to be the only compassionate painting student.

    Hence, after a series of Philip’s tragedy, his experiences, his meeting with different people, his education, his travel to Heidelberg, to Paris and to London, his affluence and reversal of his fortune to poverty taught him greatest lessons in life. That life can be beautiful if man knows to master his emotion, moderate his desire and be reasonable in every decision. A man is finally freed from the chains and cufflinks ” Of Human Bondage”.

    References:

    Maughm, Somerset W. (1991). Of Human Bondage.

    Canada: Bantam Book Doubleday.

    Morgan, Michael (ed.). (2006). The Essential Spinoza: Ethics And Related Writings.

    Cambridge: Hackett Publishing, Inc.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Wilfredo M. Valois

    Views: 0

  • The 7 Traits of an Exceptional & Successful Entrepreneur

    [ad_1]

    How often have you either referred to or considered the expression, “Success is a journey and not a Destination?” Probably many times, yet often being in a hurry to get there, we forget that success is not an end unto itself, but is instead an ongoing process.

    Though some people seem to have the Midas touch and easily turn everything to gold, most of us have to give our endeavors lots of time, effort and the sweat of our brow before seeing things come to fruition. The simple truth is that the majority of us are simply not born leaders, but become leaders by who we are and the actions we take. Consequently, whether or not you’re an established entrepreneur or just starting out on your journey, there are particular traits you’ll usually find operating within the exceptional entrepreneur. In fact there are 7 particular traits you’ll generally discover deeply embedded within the exceptional and successful businessperson.

    If you’ve already taken the plunge as an entrepreneur, you know that it takes a great deal of planning, development and strategic marketing to succeed. At any given time, there are changes to be considered and new directions to examine. In which case, whether you’re the CEO, CFO, Chief Marketer or Chief Solutions Officer of your company, your journey to success is probably full of trials and tribulations.

    To support you in your journey to success, be willing to open your mind and sense of reasoning as you consider whether these traits are part of your driving force. If they are not yet ingrained within you, I recommend that you give them some thought.

    THE 7 TRAITS TO SUCCESS

    1) Successful Entrepreneurs Gain the Respect of their Peers

    One of the first and most obvious characteristics you’ll see operating in an exceptional entrepreneur is an equitable and unbiased disposition . Plain and simple the successful entrepreneur recognizes that no one is above or below. With an attitude of respect for others, the successful entrepreneur gains the respect from everyone they encounter. Strategies, attitudes and methods filter down to each person and reflect on all actions and activities. A successful entrepreneur gives everyone the space to be great. No matter how effective or beneficial your expertise, becoming a successful entrepreneur requires building up of your character muscles, traits and habits, which correspondingly make your dreams a reality.

    2) Successful Entrepreneurs Believe and Trust in Themselves

    The savvy entrepreneur is good at trusting his or her own ideas and instincts. Starting out as an entrepreneur requires persistence, determination and a high level of self-discipline. Continuing as a successful entrepreneur requires even more persistence, determination and self-discipline. The wise and successful entrepreneur knows this and works hard at developing their level of confidence. If you have a strong code of ethics and believe in yourself, then your ideas can work. Having the desire and passion are the first steps on your journey; getting there requires believing in yourself.

    3) Successful Entrepreneurs Follow a Plan

    The successful entrepreneur follows a plan. Haphazard or trial and error have no place for the triumphant entrepreneur, for no one gets to his or her destination without a map or a guide to follow. That doesn’t mean you won’t go off course if another road seems better, but it’s still more effective to have a plan in place. Most successful entrepreneurs start out by writing a basic business plan that acts as the impetus and guide for their endeavors. It doesn’t have to be fancy or lengthy but it should include marketing strategies, goals, intentions, ideas and why you can do better than your competition. A business plan should be reviewed and updated periodically for each new idea stirs and inspires other ideas.

    4) Successful Entrepreneurs Think Creatively

    Successful entrepreneurs are not afraid of thinking creatively. Whether a business idea has already been tried makes no difference to the exceptional entrepreneur. He or she sees better ways of doing things and knows that every idea can be expanded upon, made better, enhanced or broadened . The successful entrepreneur is willing to think outside or the proverbial box, which means using imagination, trying new things and expanding on a vision. The savvy entrepreneur pays careful attention as to whether a particular strategy is working. If after giving it his or her best shot the entrepreneur realizes the particular strategy isn’t working, they know there’s no point in continuing to invest energy, time and effort in the strategy. They move on to another approach and idea.

    5)Successful Entrepreneurs Explore Their Exceptional Skills

    Successful entrepreneurs realize that we each have our strengths and weaknesses as well as a multitude of skills and talents. Successful people ask themselves often what skills they have that no one shares in quite the same way. An exceptional and successful entrepreneur explores their particular skills until they find the ones that match most closely with their ideal. They don’t try to be and do everything. If the successful entrepreneur needs help, they’re willing to find someone who can do it better, and allows in the support. The successful entrepreneur stays open to change for they recognize that as they move forward, doors open in unexpected places that carry them to their next level of success.

    6) Successful Entrepreneurs Envision Their Success

    The successful entrepreneur gives time to envisioning how they want their business to look and how they want it to be. Intention is a powerful and dynamic tool. For those who are not inclined towards intention and visualization, talk to a successful athlete and you’ll discover that before each sporting event, the successful athlete envisions exactly how he or she wants things to turn out. Imagine what it will feel like when you’ve reached a particular set of goals. Get in touch with the feelings, you’d have as a successful entrepreneur. Practice and conceive of the sense of empowerment and the joy of having succeeded. The successful entrepreneur knows they have the power to live life the way they want, but to make it a reality, they know it has to be seen first.

    7) Successful Entrepreneurs Never Give Up

    Giving up is never in the vocabulary of the successful entrepreneur. Of course there may be days when a successful entrepreneur feels discouraged or disappointed, but giving up is not an option. Having faith, trust, confidence and determination are the qualities needed for the successful entrepreneur. To keep their focus on track, they seek out the support of those that know them, encourage them and bring out their natural enthusiasm. The smart and successful entrepreneur realizes that there will be good days and not so good days. Being a successful entrepreneur requires accepting the ebbs and flows of business for it is in fact what separates the exceptional and successful entrepreneur from the one who gives up far too soon.

    © 2004

    [ad_2]

    Source by Robert Moment

    Views: 0

  • He Hasn’t Said I Love You Yet? What This Really Means for Your Relationship

    [ad_1]

    There’s a very special moment in every romantic relationship that a woman holds her breath for. It’s when your man tells you he loves you. Ideally, he’ll say it first and it will happen in a wonderful, memorable place. You’ll remember everything about the second those fateful words left his lips. The shirt he was wearing, how his hair was styled and what his cologne smelled like will all become important nuances of the moment when you both knew that you were going to be life partners. It all sounds so dreamy and ideal, doesn’t it? From experience, most of us know that it typically doesn’t go that way. He’ll usually blurt out the words at the most inopportune time like when we’re stopped at a red light or during a football game. Regardless of the circumstances of the delivery, the words are still meaningful and relationship changing. Sadly, not all men reach a point where they feel comfortable sharing those words. If it’s now been months or even years and he hasn’t said I love you yet, what exactly does that mean for you and your future with him?

    Never Forget How Different You and Your Man Are

    I’ve often heard women say that they wish men were more like them. In some ways, that would be wonderful, but essentially we love men because they are men. Your man doesn’t process his feelings the same way you do. If he falls in love with you at first sight, chances are very good that he’s not going to share that news with you until months into the relationship. The same is true of the man who falls in love with his woman at a slow pace. He’s not going to give you updates about what he’s feeling. Men just aren’t wired that way.

    Sharing deep and meaningful feelings to a man makes him feel emotionally vulnerable. It’s very much like he’s taking the armor off his heart and he’s putting himself in the line of fire. If you don’t react favorably to his declaration of adoration or if you say something hurtful, it will pain him in a way that nothing else could. A man needs to feel very secure in his relationship before he’ll be ready to blurt out that he loves you.

    Pay Close Attention to His Actions Rather Than His Words

    So much can be gained from really paying close attention to how your man acts when he’s around you. There are certain behavior patterns that sync with a man who is truly and madly in love. You may believe that he’s not in love unless he says the words, but don’t discount how he treats you. For a man who is struggling with opening himself up to the point where he does indeed feel very vulnerable, his actions can give you great insight into what is in his heart.

    A telling example is the man who rushes through his day so that he can spend as much time as possible with the woman he adores. Nothing matters quite as much to him as seeing her smiling face at the end of his workday. The same is true of the man who sends a few text messages or emails during the day. His mind is clearly on the woman he cares for. Any small gestures like this should be viewed for what they are and that’s a strong sign that his heart is focused on the woman in his life.

    See His Commitment to You as a Sign of What’s in His Heart

    If a man has stopped dating other women and his focus is always just on you, he’s smitten. Men are notorious for wanting to play the field. Once a man stops looking, thinking about and seeing other women you should take note of that. He may not have said that he loves you outright but the fact that he’s lost interest in other attractive women speaks volumes about how he views you.

    This is especially clear if he’s suggested that you don’t see other guys or that you two just date exclusively. If he does mention this, it obviously means that he wants you to himself and that generally has a lot more to do with a man’s heart than his ego.

    A man in love wants to draw a tight circle around the woman who is the center of his world. He doesn’t want the threat of any other men on the horizon and he doesn’t have eyes for any other women either. His focus is clear and he’ll ask you to focus on him too.

    Be Wary of a Man Who Doesn’t Seem Connected Emotionally to You

    As much as you want to hope that he does love you, even if he has yet to say it, you do need to be mindful of the fact that his reluctance to express it is based on the fact that he just doesn’t feel it. If you’ve told your boyfriend that you love him and you’re met with dead silence, or he changes the subject very quickly, it’s easy to jump to the assumption that he isn’t in love and just is very uncomfortable talking about the subject at all.

    Some men will work hard at avoiding any discussion about feelings. They’ll say things like, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship yet, ” or “love is overrated.” If your guy has expressed similar sentiments to you, you have every right to be discouraged by that. He’s telling you, in a very roundabout and non-compassionate way that he’s just not feeling the same things you are.

    It’s up to you to determine whether or not you want to continue to invest yourself in a relationship like this. Granted, over time his position may change and he may decide that he does indeed love you. Perhaps a bit of time apart, as in a short-term relationship “break” might help him see the light. There’s a chance it won’t though.

    Just remember that all men are different and even though some are quick to say those three meaningful words, other men just can’t fathom saying, “I love you,” to any woman unless they’re on the verge of proposing to her. It’s up to you to decipher your man’s actions and read between the limes to truly see what’s in his heart.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Gillian Reynolds

    Views: 0

  • MLM As a Business Tool

    [ad_1]

    Multi-level marketing or MLM for short is one of the fastest -rising star in business. It is easy to set up, fast to do and not very difficult to manage as long as you manage a tight ship and create a structure without the holes. These reasons, however, are also the ones that made multi-level marketing as a business tool notorious. People who are out to rob other people of their hard-earned money, used the business structure to create scams. I am sure you have heard of the pyramid scams. The models they used are similar to multi-level marketing except that they are not legitimate business with no legitimate products.

    As a business tool, MLM is ingenious. Instead of creating stores and distributing through the usual channels, MLM makes use of ordinary people and their wide range of contacts. It actually takes advantage of the fact that communication now is so much better than before. This means that people you have not even seen in decades can easily be contacted. And the more contacts you have, the better for multi-level marketing because in essence, you will be using their contacts too.

    To make you understand MLM much better, here is how it goes. A company with products recruits distributors that will help them sell their products to people. Usually what big companies do is look for big companies who can put their products in the market. The same concept is applied to multi-level marketing except that people act as distributors and not companies. It’s the marriage of distributorship and the legendary Avon way of selling, direct to consumers. This actually gets the best of both worlds.

    With this business tool, multi-level marketing companies recruits people who can directly distribute their products to consumers. These people however do not just sell the products, they can also recruit people who can help them sell their products. Thus, increasing their total sales. When a lot of people are already part of one person, this is already considered as a group and group sales are often rewarded with commissions. In fact, the more people you have, the bigger sales you will naturally have. This is the principle of multilevel marketing.

    The beauty of this business tool is the fact that products are sold directly to people and yet you have people under you to help you do it. To earn a commission, you don’t need to actually sell the products yourself. You can recruit people to do it for you and then have them do the work. This is ideal for people who have a lot of contacts and network that they can use. Some people do not even have to meet in person to strike a business deal. This is especially true if the MLM company has offices in different states and countries.

    One word of caution though when thinking of joining a company that engages in multi-level marketing is to see if they have legitimate products that they can actually sell. You should also see if the company is also a legitimate one. This means it needs to have some manufacturing plant and a main office and business structure to qualify as legitimate. This separates companies that uses it as a business tool and companies that are out to just scam people. Knowing the difference can make save you a lot of effort and of course hard-earned money.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Terez Dunn

    Views: 0

  • Stopping Employee Theft in Your Coffee Business

    [ad_1]

    Regardless to how good of an employer you are, and even if you treat your employees well, understand that employee theft is a reality, and you need to control it. While it may only be a very small percentage of your staff that might steal from you, it can have a significant financial impact on your coffee business. If it goes unnoticed, employees will usually become even more brazen in their activities.

    When it comes to theft, your employees are likely to fall into one of the following four categories:

    Mr./Ms. honest – these are people who would never think of taking anything if it doesn’t belong to them. If they happen to go home with one of your ballpoint pens, they’ll bring it back the next day, and feel guilty that they took it home, even though it was unintentional.

    Incidental theft – these are people that will take home your pen by accident, and will keep it. And, they may scarf a piece of cheesecake occasionally when you aren’t looking, even though they know they shouldn’t. Because these items have minimal value, they have no great sense of guilt related to their activities.

    Theft because of need and opportunity – this is when you have an employee who is perhaps living on the edge financially, and because they have the need, and because your security may be lax, they’ll take advantage of an opportune situation to take something.

    Compulsive theft – this is the person who is always looking for something to steal, and they have absolutely no conscience about it. They typically rationalize the theft in their own mind. They consider you to be the rich, fat cat, and feel that they are over worked and under paid, so stealing from you is justified.

    Employee theft probably exists to some extent within your operation, whether you are aware of it or not. You can most likely live with incidental theft, provided it doesn’t get out of control. Theft related to need and opportunity is, in reality, your fault. These people would probably not steal from you normally, but a lack of security procedures has created the temptation and means for them to do so. Compulsive theft must be discovered, stopped, and you must eliminate the person(s) responsible.

    Losing product due to theft:

    Your employees may have no desire or need for a sleeve of 12oz. paper cups, Java Jackets, or a roll of toilet paper… but they might like a frozen cake, gallon of chocolate sauce, 6-pack of beer, or a bottle of wine.

    There are some simple things you can do to greatly reduce the chance of being ripped-off. First, don’t allow your employees to store their jackets, backpacks, and purses near where you store products. This makes it incredibly simple for someone to slide something into their bag or jacket pocket when no one is watching. I always had my employees store their personal belongings in the cabinet under the cash register (where someone would always be watching), or in my office, under lock & and key.

    Second, keep the back door of your store locked with a key at all times (you or your supervisor being the only ones having a key). If customers regularly enter through your back door, this may not be an option. If your back door is an emergency fire exit (and it probably is), you’ll need to install an alarmed breaker-bar. The whole point is that you don’t want your employees to be able to flow in and out of the back door without you knowing about it. Carrying product out the back door to their car, a hiding place for later pick-up, or an awaiting friend, is one of the most common ways products will exit your store.

    Once you have made it more difficult to stash things in their personal belongings, or carry them out the back door, employees may resort to hiding items in the trashcan. Of course you will unlock the back door to let them take out the trash. If they have hidden something in the trashcan, a dumpster-diving expedition will certainly be planned for after-hours to recover their treasure.

    Periodic trashcan checks should eliminate this problem, or make it a far less appealing option to anyone considering this method to smuggle things out of your store. Buy a long handle 3-prong garden rake. When employees ask to take out the trash, accompany them, and have them hold the can up on the edge of the dumpster while you rake out the trashcan contents. What you are looking for are things that might have been hidden in the trash, but you can tell your employees that you are merely making sure that small wares aren’t being accidentally thrown away. During the 15-years I owned and managed restaurants, I discovered everything from six-packs of beer, bottles of wine, and packages of steaks hidden in the trash!

    Another situation that will create an ideal opportunity for employees to steal from you is having only one person working in your store. If your baker comes in each morning a hour before you or the next employee, or if one person is left to clean and lock-up the place at the end of the day, opportunities for theft abound. As the old saying goes: when the cat’s away…

    Always try to have at least two people in your store at all times. If there is not justification for having a second employee on the clock, then you will need to be that second person. If this requires you going from a 60-hour workweek to 80-hours, then this may not be a tolerable option. If this is the case, then at least invest a couple of hours more each day for a week or two to do some detective work.

    During those times of day when only one employee is working, park at the far end of the parking lot, or across the street, so that you will reduce the chance of being noticed by your employee. If they are familiar with your vehicle, use your spouse’s or friend’s vehicle for a few days. Watch carefully (with binoculars if necessary). I know this all sounds a little CSI – like, but better to rest-easy, feeling fairly assured that your employee isn’t carrying away your store when you’re not watching. If I had the time, I could tell you countless stories of my experiences in catching employees red handed, loading the trunks of their cars.

    If you suspect that theft of product might be occurring, but you’ve seen no direct evidence of it, then conducting a daily key item inventory may shed some light on the situation. Write down a list of 15 to 20 products that you think would be most appealing for someone to steal. In your coffee business, this might include items such as coffee, syrups and sauces, smoothie puree, biscotti, cookies, and desserts, sandwich meats & cheeses, and of course beer & wine (if you serve those from your operation). Then take an inventory of these items every day. Your employees don’t need to know what you are doing, and if they ask, simply tell them you are taking an inventory for ordering purposes.

    What you are looking for are anomalies in usage. For example, let’s say that from your daily inventories you assess that you use about half a gallon of chocolate sauce per day. Then, one day you notice you used 1 1/2 gallons of chocolate the previous day. This should send up a red flag! Why did you go through an extra gallon of chocolate? Were you significantly busier yesterday, or did you featuring several drink specials which contained chocolate sauce? A quick review of individual item sales from yesterday’s cash register report should provide you with the answer. If you average one ounce of chocolate per beverage, then using 1 1/2 gallons means you should have sold approximately 192 beverages containing chocolate (128 oz. per gal. x 1.5 = 192). If this was the case, no problem. But, if you discover that you only sold 64 beverages containing chocolate, then 128 oz. (or 1 gallon) is unaccounted for and missing! A good indication that it probably walked out the door. If this happens, keep track of who was working on the day of the shortage. If this happens continually, eventually you will discover that the same person or persons were working every time.

    Theft of money by employees:

    Hopefully, none of your employees will have the desire to steal products from you, but some will be tempted by the lure of cold, hard, cash. Everyone could use an extra $20 a day. Employees who steal money from you will definitely hurt your bottom line, and must be eliminated.

    The first way to reduce cash theft is to have a cash handling policy in place that will discourage theft. If multiple employees are using the cash register, and no one person is responsible, then I can almost guarantee that your cash drawer will keep coming up short on a regular basis. The fact that no one person can be held responsible for the shortages, will make grabbing a bill or two easy and appealing.

    Implement a policy that one, and only one person is responsible for the cash register for the entire shift. They should count the drawer at the beginning of their shift to verify that they are starting with the designated change bank. Then, they should be the only person to ring up sales and make change. Even you, the owner/manger, should keep your hands out of their cash drawer. Finally, at the end of their shift, they should set aside the amount they started with in the change drawer, and total all the remaining cash, checks, and charges, and balance against what was rung up on the register. If they started with the right amount of money in the cash drawer, rang everything up, took all the money, counted back all the change, and they end up short… who’s fault is it? It can only be theirs. By implementing this simple policy, I once took an operation that was coming up $100 a day ($3,000 a month) cash short, and reduced it to $3 a day, in just 30 days! That’s over a $2,900 bottom line improvement, (in case you didn’t do the math)!

    The other common method that a cashier might use to steal money from you is by using a method called, building a bank. This is the process of not ringing up items on the cash register, while still taking money from the customers, and then pocketing that money. Typically, they will obscure the view of the cash register display on the customer’s side with something like a flower, retail merchandise, or by turning the display so that it cannot be easily seen. Then, they will pretend to ring up an item, but will hit the no sale key instead, popping the drawer open so they can take the cash and make change, but in reality, they haven’t rung up anything. The other thing they might do when it is busy is to just not shut the drawer between transactions. They simply convey verbally the cost of items ordered by customers and take the cash, but once again, nothing has been rung up.

    A cash register that prints out the order on a remote receipt printer to the person who will be preparing the item, can eliminate this problem. Quite simply, if the item isn’t rung-up, it won’t print out. If your barista or cook won’t prepare anything without a receipt (and they shouldn’t!), it will force your cashier to ring everything up.

    If you observe that the cash register’s display has been blocked from the customer’s view, or there are an excessive number of no sale indications on your cash register’s detail tape, or notice that your cashier is not shutting the drawer between transactions, beware! While these may not be indisputable proof that your cashier is stealing from you, they should certainly heighten your vigilance to find out if something is going on.

    If your coffee business only warrants having one employee working at a time, perhaps because you own a cart, kiosk, or low volume drive-through operation, then how do you go about keeping your employee from building a bank and stealing from you? The best solution I’ve seen is to turn your customers in to watchdogs. Affix a sign to the front of your cash register, in plain sight of the customer, that reads: If you don’t receive a receipt with your order, it’s FREE! This will force your cashier to hand each customer a receipt for their purchase. If they are building a bank, this means they will have to hand the customer a receipt that says – NO SALE; something they probably won’t fell comfortable doing!

    The financial impact of theft of money can be extremely damaging, for example: Let’s say you have a cashier who is skimming off $20 a day by not ringing things up, and then pocketing the money. Not only did you loose the stolen $20, but the $7 of ingredients that were probably used to produce the ordered products; ($20 x 35% ingredient cost = $7.00). So in reality, you lost $27, and it will take an additional $41.54 in sales, to recover this loss; ($41.54 x 65% gross profit = $27). $27 a day lost to theft, X 21 days worked by the employee = $567 lost cash & product per month; $872 extra sales required to offset this loss. (Annual loss, $6,804; $10,468 in additional income required to offset loss.) You must stop theft of money!

    Theft of money management:

    If you have a manger running your operation for you, this can really create an opportunity for cash theft. Just about anyone who has ever run a food service operation (self included), probably felt that they were over-worked and under-paid. Some are tempted to grant themselves an unapproved raise. Your manger has the control key to the cash register, which means they have the ability to back off items that were sold. You would be wise to check your cash register detail tapes on a regular basis. If you see multiple items backed off in groups, or more worrisome yet, all backed off at the very end of the shift, beware!

    A good way to keep this from happening is to establish a policy that no over-rings are to be backed off of sales on the cash register with the management control key. Instead, when the cashier makes an over-ring, they should take the receipt, write over-ring on it, sign it, and put it in the cash drawer. At the end of the shift, the total of all over-rings should be manually backed off of the sales total indicated on the cash register report.

    Many years ago I had a manager that was stealing money from me in another creative way. This manager, who opened the store each day, would reset the cash register by Z-ing it out after the first half hour of business. He would then pocket the proceeds earned during that first half hour. Because additional sales were generated during the second half hour, the cash register hourly sales report would always show sales for the first hour of operation, thus eliminating any suspicion that something might be going on.

    It wasn’t until I was doing a routine audit of cash register Z tapes that I noticed something wasn’t right. When you run a Z report, which resets the cash register at the end of each day, a multi-digit number will usually be printed somewhere on that tape. The next time you Z the register, that number will advance by one digit. I noticed that even though the tapes were sequential in date, every other number was missing. This tipped me off that the register was being Z-ed twice a day! When I confronted my manager with the tapes, his look of panic spoke volumes.

    If you are doubting the honesty of any of your employees or managers, one way you can verify or eliminate your suspicion is by baiting the cash drawer. Slip an extra $20 bill in the drawer sometime during the day when they aren’t watching. If they don’t end up reporting at the end of their shift that they were $20 cash-over, I’ll do it a second time (just to make sure). If they don’t report it a second time, you should have no doubts that they are indeed, dishonest.

    NEVER accuse an employee or manger of stealing unless you catch them red-handed (actually stuffing money into their pockets). Even though the circumstantial evidence may be overwhelming, unless you actually catch them in the act, they are likely to deny your accusations, and will probably file a complaint against you with the department of labor! The brief moment of satisfaction you will gain from letting them know you are aware of what they’ve been doing, will be quickly overwhelmed by the legal predicament you will find yourself in. You will be far better off to not make accusations. Simply terminate their employment. In many states, you do not need to provide a reason as to why you are letting them go. When they ask for an explanation as to why you are firing them, simply say: I don’t need to give you a reason, I’m just letting you go, goodbye!

    Finally, don’t over look technology to help you with security. Surveillance cameras linked to a DVR (digital video recorder) can provide you with peace of mind, or evidence of theft. These systems have become very affordable, and many are easy to install. The value of these cameras go beyond having a video record of operations. The mere fact that employees understand that their activities are being video recorded, will usually discourage them from doing things that they might not think twice about, if no one was watching.

    I think it’s important to not be paranoid about employee theft. Certainly, you don’t want to be constantly obsessed with the suspicion that everyone is stealing from you. In reality, the majority of your employees are probably honest people. But, you would be wise to establish some simple safeguards, and maintain a watchful eye.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Ed Arvidson

    Views: 0

  • Affiliate Marketer – The Win-Win Technique

    [ad_1]

    Affiliate marketing has turned out to be just about the most efficient way to market on the web. It is usually among the most active for anybody with a web site in order to obtain profits on the internet. Affiliate marketing is an arrangement made by a product owner and a site owner. The site manager, permits the usage of the website for the advertising of the merchant’s goods by back-linking towards the merchant’s web-site. In return, the vendor or product owner compensates the internet marketer according to all product sales produced because of the internet marketer efforts. Whenever an individual follows the URL ((Uniform Resource Locator) on the internet marketer site and proceed to made a purchase, the affiliate marketer receives a percentage. The product owner pays off the affiliate as long as a person clicks the merchandise link and buys something.

    Affiliate programs are identified as a win-win scenario for both the vendor and also the affiliate because of the pay-for-performance structure. Both parties enjoy big benefits with this technique. There are numerous rewards for the merchant. It provides them with a larger market place to promote services or products. Through their marketing efforts, the affiliate marketer will provide the goods and services the ideal visibility that maybe could not be possible with the use of traditional promotion approaches. The more online websites a vendor has access to, the larger the exposure his products will have, which more than often converts into product sales. Internet affiliate marketing is the same as possessing an army of sales agents who can carry out promotion and may only get paid in the case a client buys.

    At the same time, because an affiliate marketer relationship can be a win-win scenario, the affiliate marketer also looks forward to lots of benefits. Foremost involving these is the simplest way to produce revenues. The affiliate marketer can gain using an advertisement or back-link to the vendor’s site, which potential customers will ideally press and ultimately make a purchase. When the target individual follows the offer within the affiliate’s website, is rerouted towards the vendor’s site and usually proceeds to purchase that specific product or service. The more recommendations are made, the far more possibilities of earnings for that internet marketer.

    Affiliate programs are an exceptional way to generate income while in your own home. You’ll find practically no initial expenses. The merchandise has already been created and verified through the vendor, and the only costs you have are the ones related to finding the customers and direct them in front of the offer. Internet programs are typically exempt of cost to sign up for, so affiliate marketers don’t need to be worried about start-up fees. There are millions of products you can consider. You’ll find affiliate marketing programs available for practically any merchandise offered in the web. Certainly, you can find a service or product out there that is definitely related to your site.

    Furthermore, there is no sales knowledge required. Most programs provide outstanding assistance with regards to supplying advertising material. The simplicity of online marketing enables you to be an internet marketer at the minimum cost as well as enjoy the most convenience. You may also be able to create a profitable affiliate marketing enterprise in the comfort and ease of your home. In internet affiliate marketing, your main duty is actually to seek out potential customers and direct them to your selected offers; there is no need to concern yourself with products on hand, quality or even delivery. These, together with customer support are the responsibilities of the product owner.

    Due to the possibilities on the world-wide-web, it is simple to find a large number of prospective buyers. You are able to accentuate your strategy by applying extra competitive and effective techniques including viral marketing and videos. By bringing in much more prospective buyers, you’ll realize a big increase in your possibility to generate income. Another advantage of an internet marketer is definitely the small monetary risk involved. When the item you happen to be promoting is just not creating wealth you’ll be able to dump it and select a different one. There aren’t any long-term binding agreements braiding you to products and solutions that are certainly not creating sufficient revenues.

    Consider the very best advantage of becoming an internet marketer as the unique chance to improve your revenues and the fact that you may earn profits even when you use internet affiliate marketing only as a part-time business. With your personal affiliate enterprise, you can generate easily some extra income, despite the reality that you need to apply hard work and made use of your thoughts to maximize your possible earnings. Without a doubt, affiliate marketing and advertising is among the most basic and most successful work at home opportunities on the internet today.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Ruth Celeste Lee

    Views: 0

  • The 8 P’s of Success

    [ad_1]

    Every time I try to cook rice, I either end up having mini popcorns or my rice end up turning into a thick paste of porridge. Trust me, I have tried and you can say I haven’t succeeded yet. Success, according to Oxford dictionary, is achieving something that you have been trying to do or get. Though this is not exhaustive, here are the 8 P’s of Success.

    1. Purpose

    Find and have something worth living and dying for. Your purpose could be raising your children or making a difference in other people’s lives. When you find your purpose, life takes on a new and different meaning.

    2. Passion

    Sleep, walk, talk and see yourself achieving your vision and goals. Say you want to be a better parent or salesperson, the more you repeat and affirm this to yourself and those near you, the better off you are. Constant affirmations help to remind us of our goals.

    3. Persistence

    Don’t give up even when you don’t see results. Most of the time, results don’t appear in relation to the efforts you might be putting into achieving your desired goals. The good thing is; something is happening beneath the surface and you need to keep doing your best in order to see your desired results.

    4. Practice

    Keep working. We have all heard the saying, if at first you don’t succeed; keep trying, again and again. Constant practice helps teach us how to do it better. Make sure you keep going whether there are results or not.

    5. Patience

    Be patient with those who should (but don’t understand) your vision or goal. And above all, be patient with yourself. Often when people don’t affirm us or fail to recognize and appreciate our efforts, it isn’t cause we are failures. It could be because they don’t understand know how best to encourage or affirm us. Look at it this way. The fact that you are having an umbrella doesn’t stop the rain from falling from the skies! You should, in like manner keep going.

    6. People

    Have people around you, even those you cannot stand because they will help you to improve. Seek their opinion, listen and soldier on knowing that no man has succeeded in becoming an island. Read books, listen to audio tapes, ask questions and attend motivational speaking engagements.

    7. Prayer

    Involve God in everything you do by seeking His guidance, provision, wisdom and the grace to keep going on.

    8. Plunge in

    Launch into what you want to do and just get it done. Do not give procrastination a foothold in your life. Do not wait for the perfect and ideal situation, environment or time. Just go for it and give it your best. Remember, you don’t have to see it on your family tree to attempt it.

    “The person you struggle with the most, has the most to teach you… about yourself.” – Shawne Duperon

    [ad_2]

    Source by James Odhiambo

    Views: 0

  • Holistic Approach For Faster and Better Healing – What Does It Include?

    [ad_1]

    The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word holistic as follows:

    “relating to or concerned with complete systems rather than with individual parts”

    This term – holistic is used a lot these days in terms of healing and curing diseases/ailments. Looking at the definition, this seems to be an obvious route to rightful healing any particular ailment or disease.

    Diet

    When we visit a doctor looking for curing some of our physical issues, he/she will give us some medicine/drug. These days, doctors also prescribe dietary recommendations to follow for faster recovery. Why do they do it? Is the medicine alone not enough? You will say, there is an obvious reason. The medicine will fight against the undesired elements in the body and diet will help build strength at the same time normalizing the function and thereby facilitating the healing process, right? If there is such a holistic approach, the healing is better and faster.

    Stress

    It is very commonly understood that stress makes any ailment or disease worse. Therefore, stress management along with medicine and diet further accelerates the healing process. One might watch comedy movies, read positive books, stay in positive company, or take a walk in park, play some sport or exercise for eliminating stress and thereby helping the healing.

    The Energy Body

    The Energy Body interpenetrates the physical body and extends beyond it by a few inches. This is one another aspect that healing professionals are also looking into for a much more holistic approach. The energy body is also seen affected by various clairvoyants and the effect of working on energy body is manifested on physical body sometimes immediately and sometimes with a time-lag depending on various factors.

    Working on energy body alone does not seem to be a holistic approach either, although, there are many who are trying to do it. Just like traditional medicine is supported by diet and stress management, the energy healing/medicine can also receive equivalent support from traditional medicine, diet and stress management. It is ideal to do all four

    Counselling (Emotional Body)

    Another aspect that is also very important is our emotions and our will power. This is a deeper and very important aspect of healing that is mostly ignored. Are we emotionally and mentally ready to get healed? Sometimes medicines do not work, diet does not work, energy healing does not work. One of the reasons is our willingness to heal which is influenced to some extent by our emotions. One should also consider taking counselling sessions with the therapist, or with someone else or sometimes talking to ones own self also does wonders. The holistic approach should definitely include this aspect of healing as well.

    It will be great to know if any of the aspects are missed and comments on the description mentioned in the article. Feel free to share your thoughts by comments or email.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Nazia Hirani

    Views: 0

  • Dousing the Flames of Marital Conflict

    [ad_1]

    Conflicts in marriage are endemic. Because this is a union of two distinct individuals each with his or her own likes, dislikes, prejudices and pet peeves, conflicts are built into the marriage packet. As the famous evangelist Billy Graham once said, “For a married couple to expect perfection in each other is unrealistic. The unblemished ideal exists only in ‘happily-ever-after’ fairy tales. ‘Happily incompatible’ is a good adjustment.”

    No human relationship can exist in a permanent state of happiness, and conflicts need not be viewed as a sign of instability or impending rupture of marriage. Couples need to master the art of quarreling constructively and resolving all conflicts positively. A mature approach will increase understanding and trust, and strengthen their relationship. However this depends on their level of commitment to each other.

    Areas of conflict:

    o Finance: In this consumer-oriented society of today, money or the lack of it can lead to conflict. Spouses have different spending habits. Overspending or unnecessary spending by one partner can upset the family budget, leaving less money for essentials. Entertainment, alcohol, consumer goods can eat into one’s pocket. Similarly miserliness will also trigger conflict.

    o When the needs, wants and desires of one partner are not met, there is a tendency to be irritable or argumentative over trifles.

    o Domination: When one partner is excluded from the decisions that affect them both, friction is bound to arise. Similarly, procrastination by one partner on issues that need urgent decisions can be annoying.

    o In-laws: Too much interference or over dependence of in-laws can become a bone of contention. Unfair references and comparisons lead to quarrels.

    o Children: Different styles of parenting or lack of proper parenting skills can result in heated arguments.

    o Sex: Husbands and wives have exclusive conjugal rights over their partners. Depriving a spouse of normal sexual activity creates tension in the relationship.

    o Working wives: Some women with high tech jobs may not have quality time to spend with husband and children. Stress, fatigue or overwork can sap them of strength and put them in an irritable frame of mind.

    o Habits: Drinking, smoking, gambling or drug taking are frequent causes of conflict.

    o Social activities. Time consuming parties or games leave very little time to spend with each other.

    o Physical and emotional abuse.

    o Self-centeredness.

    o Secrecy: Keeping important secrets from each other is a breach of trust.

    o Infidelity.

    The mark of a good marriage is not the absence of conflict, but how each partner deals with the problem. Conflict is like an ember with the potential to spark into a flame, and if not doused in time, can blaze into a conflagration. The foremost thing to remember is that it is not a battle between enemies. It is just a disagreement between spouses who have promised to love and cherish each other till the end of their lives.

    “Many marriages would be better if both husband and wife realize that they are on the same side,” says Zig Ziglar.

    The aim must be to diffuse the situation by proper resolution, so that it does not crop up again and again.

    There are two options available.

    1.The Negative Approach which will generate hostility.

    2.The Positive Approach which will make the bonds of marriage stronger.

    Negative Approach:

    – One partner personalizes the problem and treats it as an attack. Women are more prone to this approach. They withdraw into themselves and wallow in self pity. Withdrawal may be physical, sexual or emotional. Breach of communication follows. This is a dangerous trend. A trivial problem festers in the mind until it assumes gigantic proportions.

    – Angry reactions like yelling, crying, abuse, sarcasm, insults or even violence are disastrous. The idea obviously is to hurt the other person while defending one’s self in the blame game.

    As Broderick said, “Couples who vent their anger and do nothing to get at its cause and cure are committing marital suicide.”

    Positive Approach:

    1. Couples should never communicate when angry. They should first think things over calmly by themselves and then discuss the issue. Privacy is important. Discussions should not take place in the presence of their children or relatives, but in a quiet place where there will be no interruptions. They must bear in mind at all times that they are allies and not adversaries. There must be eye contact throughout the discussion. Respect for each other’s feelings is important. So the tone of voice and body language must be appropriate. Listening carefully to the other’s point of view is showing respect. Questions and clarifications are in order. It is also a time to share one’s genuine hurts and frustrations. Generalizations like ‘You always find fault’ or ‘You never listen’ are not helpful.

    2. The core issue must be tackled. It is important to define and discuss only the problem that started the conflict. Is the problem repetitive? Is there a recurring pattern? If so, why has the problem not been resolved before? There should be no deviation into unrelated issues. Old problems must not be dredged up and recycled to score a point.

    3. Finance can be a contentious subject. Bad financial habits must be mended. Budgeting one’s income is important. If expenses go beyond the budgeted amount, there should be a discussion on how best to make good the deficit. Honest conversations about purchases, savings and overspending will help. It might require lowering one’s standard of living or finding other ways of income generation.

    4. Sex is an important aspect of marriage. Withholding sex by one partner as a means of punishing the other, is hurtful. Sex enhances intimacy and reconciliation.

    5. Spouses must take responsibility for their contribution to the problem. They should be willing to change their behaviour if necessary. Owning up faults and admitting their weaknesses will diffuse tension. Sometimes it may even be necessary to give into the partner’s wishes, even though not fully agreeable. It is important to focus on what is right and not on who is right. Compromise is by no means weakness. It reflects strength and helps resolve the problem permanently.

    6. Forgiveness is the most important salve that will heal the hurt of conflict. Couples should be generous in forgiving each other’s faults. It may not be easy, but it is always better to get it over with and move on.

    Conflicts in marriage are inevitable. Fault finding and negativity can destroy and tear apart relationships. ‘Let not the sun go down upon your wrath,’ advises Scripture. With proper communication, tolerance and commitment, most conflicts can be resolved.

    As Alexander Perry said, “The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.”

    [ad_2]

    Source by Eva Bell

    Views: 0

  • Free Winning Mass Cash Tips

    [ad_1]

    Massachusetts happens to be one of the most populated states in America despite of its size. Boston happens to be one of the most beautiful cities filled with rich history, culture, and considered as the ‘Cradle of Liberty.’ It is by far one of the homes of the biggest lotto players earning the name Mass Cash.

    Mass Cash is a 5/35 lotto game with a one hundred thousand-dollar jackpot. It may not be impressive for most, yet having a hundred grand can and will make anyone smile regardless. The probability in winning the cool hundred grand is 1 in 324,632, which can be translated as anyone’s game with a good chance of winning than even Powerball.

    As for tips, this odd-numbered game would require some careful planning and checking on past winning numbers. With a state that lives in history, it can be a great tool for winning the prize. Second and third place winners can pretty much get their money back.

    Starting with the odd-even tactic for Mass Cash would be a good choice to even the playing field of a 2/3, 3/2 combination. Checking on the past winning numbers (even dated as far back as 1955) can be a chore at times, yet the high probability of the numbers showing up again would be somewhere close to seventy percent.

    Using the High-Low combination on Mass Cash can be tricky at times yet still useful, regardless of which side the middlemost number should go would sometimes be the deciding factor on getting a proper combination. A quick way in doing so is to avoid integers, meaning anything that has a multiple of 35 (five and seven respectively). The general rule of thumb from experienced lotto players and probably even some mathematicians would always be to expect the expected, not the other way around.

    Group matches are another great way in determining a proper combination, basing it on a set group/s that a player has established. This is where history can tell, which number can be used as a replacement for a potential cold number. Beware, though, as what may be considered as a cold number might turn up, yet the chances of it ending the losing streak would be rare.

    Talking about history, a repeat hit may occur at more than fifty percent at the time. Mass Cash has one of the longest lists of winning numbers that would sometimes repeat itself. With regards to these numbers, sometimes a combination of using a group number would be like playing poker if needed to change some cards.

    Playing Mass Cash is a lotto game that would mean that everyone’s a winner. From getting some of the money back to getting the one hundred thousand is to know and have a right mindset once the player lines up to the betting booth. Mass Cash is an ideal way on being a thousand dollars richer, and if given some thought on how to use the money would be beneficial. Just because the jackpot is small doesn’t mean it’s useless.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Chris S Malcolm

    Views: 0