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Healing Grief & Loss – A Fresh Start

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Every Day Can Be A Fresh Start

“There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.”

~ Ronald Reagan

7 DAILY FRESH START BULLET POINTS can help you heal your grief and loss. You have special unique empowerment to seize the moment again and again. Erect possibilities. Erect personal healing solutions. Erect your own peace. Erect hope. Every hour of every day can be a fresh start. Your condition may limit what you are able and desire to perform. However, constraints, walls or barriers don’t need to be in your mind. The opportunities for healing and progress toward a better you are abundant even if done in small baby steps; and on a few occasions one step forward and two steps back. There are keys to minimize the constraints in your mind. 7 must-consider steps to make every day a fresh start follow:

*Fresh Start #1 Erect Possibilities

“Seeds of great discoveries are constantly floating around us,

but they only take root in minds well prepared to receive them.”

~ Joseph Henry

Your grief loss happening may have sent you on a personal detour filled with discouragement and despair. On this detour confusion and hopelessness may jump in front of you on every turn of your healing journey. This is the essential time to explore all possibilities to reconcile your sorrow and grief. Undiscovered possibilities are available. Now is time to be open to receive all possible healing opportunities. Will you prepare to receive them? Search diligently for unrecognized or hidden possibilities.

*Fresh Start #2 Erect Personal Healing Solutions

Especially after a horrendous grief experience your life can be confusing and without meaning. It is essential to recognize you bring the meaning to every living moment. The meaning of your life is what you ascribe it to be. Being alive and proactive determines your healing solutions.

*Fresh Start #3 Erect Your Own Peace

You are absolutely correct. SOMETIMES LIFE IS TOUGH! In fact, life is not always fair. To be at peace because of grief circumstances can be extremely challenging. Finding your own personal peace can be enhanced by counting all the reasons why you can be grateful. Writing down a gratitude list can buoy up your spirit. No matter your condition after your grief there are blessings you can count. Counting your blessings can bring you peace.

*Fresh Start #4 Erect Hope

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time the tide will turn.”

~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

Hope and peace go together. Nonetheless, without hope you cannot have personal peace. Hope is a powerful and vital quality to own and magnify. Consider all the ways you might create hope in your attitude and in your actions. Holding hope in a strong grasp every day will turn your tide to more happiness, hope and peace.

*Fresh Start #5 Erect Barrier Deletes

Learn to erase negative thinking. Erase hopelessness from your daily thinking. Everyone gets discouraged. Life grief experiences may be joined with partners of despair, confusion, uncertainty, and even anger. Were it that you could simple press a delete button and erase all things that are barriers to your happiness. Essential to your transformation from your grieving experience to a happier state of mind are behaviors that will eradicate negative thinking. It begins and ends with your attitude. Others can help but you are the one who must press the delete button over and over again until your mind is full of positive thinking. You can.

*Fresh Start #6 Erect Empowerment Discovery

I like to think of a tool box inside each of us. Perhaps a hammer, chisel, screwdriver, measuring tape, a pair of pliers, a small level, to mention a few. I dare say it has been a long time since you have used all of those tools – maybe never. However, the time may very well come when a simple use of a pair of pliers will be vital to you. Just like the foregoing tools mentioned are empowerment tools for your mind and attitude. Perhaps you have not needed them before. Maybe they were not needed until your grief loss experience. They might not have ever been used. You may need to dig deep within. If you do you will discover empowerment strength you were unaware you always had. Asking again and again, what can I do will help you discover your personal needed empowerment. Strength will begin to grow in your mind.

*Fresh Start #7 Erect A Daily Fresh Start

Even without a horrendous grief experience a fresh start can be invigorating and revitalizing. Erect each day with a fresh attitude of positive possibilities and opportunities. Seek for all healing solutions. Count your blessings. Delete all negative thinking. Search for your own empowerment. Begin each day with a positive attitude. Think about how you can gain more hope with a daily fresh healing attitude.

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Source by Duane Marchant

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
The History of the Modern Money Clip

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The history of the money clip is not a very long one since the need for a them only arose with the invention for paper money. Paper currency was first developed in China during the 7th century due to shortage of copper. Before this time ones wealth was worn around the neck in the form of necklaces the wealthier you were the heavier the chain you wore. This became physically uncomfortable and problematic, so the Chinese developed a system where they could leave their coins with a person of trust in return for a paper note. They could get their money back by showing the note at a later time. This practice was later discontinued and paper money doesn’t arise again until 1690 in Europe. During this time England produced paper money to facilitate the movement of goods and services while waging colonial war in faraway Canada. It was much easier to move paper money then large amounts of heavy coins.

So as paper money gained popularity the need to hold ones money became a necessity. The first patent for a money clip was patented on May 7 1901 by B.G Deovich for a safety holder for paper money. This clamping device held the money and also had an attached chain to secure to and convenient button. The ones we know today was not invented until 1931 when L. weeks applied for the patent that we know today as the modern money clip. Before this time paper money was hap hazardously carried in pocket of in change purses or in folded pieces of fabric.

Today there many styles and types they are made of different metals and materials and come in many different styles to fit anyone’s taste. Some money clips have time pieces on them; some have secret compartments, some even have knives in them or flash lights. They come all metals from platinum encrusted with diamond to silver and gold and the more readily accessible stainless steel. Stainless steel is prized for its durability and low cost and is the most well known of all the materials. Many groups such as the Mansions carry money clips with special logos on them. They can are used as an extension of one’s personality or to show affection or affiliation with an affinity group such as sports teams or military units. They are given as both corporate and personal gifts because they can easily be engraved and made as personal or impersonal as needed.

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Source by Brenda L Hopkins

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
Ann Sieg’s – The Renegade Network Marketer – A Review

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If you’re looking for a novel, convenient, and effective way to do network marketing, The Renegade Network Marketer from Ann Sieg may just be what you’re looking for.

What You Won’t Do with the Renegade Network Marketing System

Once you become a renegade network marketer, you can permanently say goodbye to all the things about network marketing that you hated. This includes but isn’t limited to nagging your family, loved ones, and strangers to take up a business opportunity they truly aren’t interested in as well as performing recruiting activities that never worked in the first place.

With the Renegade Network Marketer from Ann Sieg, all those will simply be a fading memory of the past.

What You Can Learn from the Renegade Network Marketing System

You’re probably thinking that getting hold of this system would cost you money, and you’re right. But what you probably never expected is receiving so much more than what you’ve paid for. Here are just a few things you can expect to enjoy once you’ve got this system running for your network marketing business.

Remote Control Selling

Did you ever imagine it could be possible to use the same amount of time for selling to just one person to sell to a thousand? With the Renegade Network Marketer, remote control selling isn’t a dream but a reality. Even better, not just you but your distributors as well can make use of the system, consequently multiplying your income a hundred fold!

Step by Step Strategy

Didn’t you hate how so many “effective” systems couldn’t manage to effectively teach you even one simple lesson? Well, color the Renegade Network Marketer different. Knowing the difficulties that newcomers to MLM face, Ann Sieg made sure to break down her strategies for network marketing step by step. In fact, it’s so easy to understand that you can immediately pass on what you’ve learned to your downline.

Kill Your Competition

Network marketing is a tough nut to crack and competition can be terribly fierce. But once you become a renegade network marketer, you’ll have in your palm the key to driving your competition away…and you won’t even have to sweat for it!

Successful Lead Generation

Network marketing success always has its roots in profitable lead generation. It is the first and most important technique you should learn, and it’s certainly one of the major focuses of the renegade network marketing system.

A Marketing Pipeline

Just imagine how wonderful your life could be if all your prospects were sold on your idea even before you made a pitch. If you’re wondering how that could happen, you only have to sign up for Ann Sieg’s the Renegade Network Marketer and you’ll not only learn how it happens, but you can experience it, too!

Make Them Believe You

Last but most important of all, Ann Sieg uses the Renegade Network Marketer to share her best kept secret – one that every MLM associate would die to know: make your prospects believe you. Network marketing hasn’t enjoyed a positive reputation for quite some time, but don’t let that get you down. If you play by the renegade’s book, your prospects are sure to have faith in your words.

All those are just the tip of the iceberg of what lies in store for you behind the pages of The Renegade Network Marketer.

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Source by Dave Jales

Views: 1

January 31, 2020
The Psychology of Drug Addiction

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There is, of course, a reason why people become addicted to drugs. The psychological aspect of addiction is extremely powerful. The human mind is a marvellous thing, and the thoughts we have can become all-ruling in our lives.

Because we are these complex creatures, with thinking and reasoning capabilities, we can often discount the mind as only a small part of what we are. This is totally wrong, and in fact the psychiatric implications of drug use (or more properly drug abuse) are ever present, and can cause major disruption in the life of an addict.

So just what exactly are we talking about here? The psychological aspects of the mind, and how it can control our lives, has been well known to professionals in the field for many years. For example, if one is the child of an addict, be it drugs, alcohol, or whatever, your own mind will rapidly justify to you the use of these substances as being OK. Let’s face it, you love your parents and if they are doing it then it’s got to be allright and can’t possibly be bad for you. You are in effect brainwashing yourself.

Of course, as we know from proven scientific research, it is a fact that drugs have an effect on the brain. It becomes a brain problem. Drug abusers brains get so used to having these chemicals in them that sooner or later, depending on the substance, they actually “talk” themselves into needing those chemicals to function, and so the brain gives the body various (withdrawal) symptoms in order to get those chemicals.

So what can be done to try to beat the psychological side of drug addiction? Getting help is a tried and tested method. Talking to a trained drug abuse counsellor, or other health professional is agood start to finding ways to overcomes your addiction.

Wherever you are, there are many excellent programs available to those with a problem with substance misuse. The best of these will treat both the mind and the body. Because, as we already know, when you initially try to reduce your dependence on drugs, your mind will give your body a variety of withdrawal symptoms in order to get its “fix”. However, with professional help it is possible to successfully break the hold that drug addiction has on your body, your mind, and your life.

It’s not strictly necessary to go into a rehabilitation facility. However it is proven that this method is very effective. These facilities can be expensive, as also can psychologists/psychiatrists. However, most long term drug abusers find that if they work it out they are spending over a period of time far more on their habit than the cure would cost, and the benefits to your wallet can easily be calculated. Even if it’s impossible to put a price on your future wellbeing.

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Source by Chris Haycock

Views: 0

January 26, 2020
E-Mini Trading: The Ambush Trade

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When e-mini trading, the Ambush trade can be a power tool in your arsenal of trading. It’s a Fibonacci trade, which certainly is not my favorite, but has a surprising level of success. This trade set-up, which occurs frequently, take some time and practice to recognize, but learning it can put valuable ticks on the positive side of your trading ledger.

A quick note on trades utilizing Fibonacci number is in order here. I have no belief that Fib numbers hold any particular value in e-mini trading, but enough people believe in Fibonacci magic to make this trade a virtual self-fulfilling prophecy. I trade what works, regardless of my personal beliefs. Since enough e-mini traders have a high level of belief in Fibonacci trading, I will happily join in their fun.

There are several ways to trade the Ambush trade, with some individuals believing that the entire range of the day is in order. These traders plot the usual Fibonacci numbers in the usual manner, only using the entire day’s range as their basis. Personally, I have found this trading methodology to be less successful than mine; I generally look to find a substantial move in the day’s trading and apply Fib retracements to that individual move. I have listened to numerous discussions on this topic some pro some negative; but for me, spotting a significant move and trading the Ambush on that move has been most successful.

So what is the Ambush trade?

As I mentioned previously, I generally notice a significant move in the day’s trading action and apply a set of Fibonacci retracement from the beginning of the move to the conclusion of the move. Essentially I am measuring the level of retracement of the initial move. The area I am interested is the 50% retracement to the 61.2 level of retracement. The area between these two plots is called the Ambush zone. I might add that the number 50 is not a Fib number but it gets thrown into the mix for reasons I don’t fully understand.

Some aggressive traders automatically take a trade at a predetermined level in the ambush zone; say, at 50%. I personally don’t use this method, as I generally wait for the market to begin to change directions before entering this trade. It’s an odd trade for those who are not accustomed to observing this trade, as it seems you are taking a trade “out of the blue” in a relatively strong retracement against the trend. But Fib traders are well aware of the Ambush trade and are generally waiting patiently for the retracement to hit the Ambush zone. Then they take action, and trade in the direction opposite the retracement and in the direction of the original trend. I can generally get 12+ ticks out of this trade; but do not let it run, as the price action often resumes in the direction of the retracement. This is not a trade to get greedy on, get your ticks and get out at the first sign of movement opposite the direction of your trade.

In summary, I have described a very popular trade among experienced traders based upon Fibonacci retracements. This trade is relatively consistent so I look for it throughout the course of the day. Don’t try to eek every tick out of this trade, and exit at the first sign of the trade moving against your position.

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Source by David S. Adams

Views: 0

January 24, 2020
Importance Of Cash Control

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Cash is a vital component of any profit-generating organization. An organization’s assets generate revenue, which in turn generates cash inflows. These cash inflows are used for several purposes: to pay creditors, compensate employees, reward shareholders, provide asset replacement, and provide for growth.

Cash is unique because it’s the single asset that is readily convertible into any other type of asset. Therefore, it’s also the most widely desired asset. However, cash is also the asset that is most susceptible to fraud and abuse. Therefore, management has to ensure that adequate controls and safeguards are in place to eliminate any unauthorized transactions with cash.

Fortunately, there are ways management can safeguard the cash generated by its organization. Each of the following methods will help an organization prevent losses due to human error or theft:

o Monthly bank reconciliation

o Segregation of duties over cash handling

o Accountability for cash shortages

o Authorized cash disbursement

o Internal audits

Monthly Bank Reconciliation. Monthly bank reconciliation will help ensure that the amount of cash generated by an organization is consistent with bank records. In addition, an independent review of the reconciliation by management will provide an additional safeguard. Independent verification of bank reconciliation acts as a check to make sure the reconciliation was done properly and ensures there is no abuse of the organization’s cash.

Segregation of Duties Over Cash Handling. Every organization must make sure that there is adequate segregation of duties over cash handling. Separating the duties of cash receipts and disbursements prevents an individual from committing and concealing embezzlement.

Accountability for Cash Shortages. Management should hold supervisors accountable for cash shortages. If supervisors know that they’ll be held accountable for a cash shortage, they’ll be motivated to keep a close eye on how cash is used within their departments.

Authorized Cash Disbursement. Management should allow cash to be disbursed only through checks issued by authorized signers, which will provide a method for tracking cash usage. In addition, your organization should require signatures on all checks in order for them to be valid.

Internal Audits. Every organization should arrange to have internal audits conducted on a regular basis. Whether the auditors come from an internal audit staff or an outside auditing firm, auditing an organization’s accounting system can identify how effective and accurate the operation is and whether or not any improvements need to be made.

ESTABLISHING A QUICKBOOKS CONTROL ENVIRONMENT

QuickBooks allows more than one user to access company files. (Conceptually, an unlimited number of users may have access to the company’s data files, but only five users may work with the data at the same time.) When multiple users will have access to the company’s QuickBooks data files, it generally is necessary to create a control environment that protects the data from unauthorized use. For example, some users may not need access to sensitive payroll data, while others may not need access to accounts receivable and sales information.

One of the best ways to prevent errors when posting transactions in QuickBooks is to limit access to specified users. If passwords and access permissions are not assigned, users have unlimited access to all areas in QuickBooks. When setting up QuickBooks, one user should be designated as the QuickBooks Administrator.

The QuickBooks Administrator has unlimited access to all areas of QuickBooks and assigns passwords and access permissions to other users. The name and password for the QuickBooks Administrator can be set up by selecting “Set Up Users” from the “Company” menu. The QuickBooks Administrator must be set up before any other users can be set up. Although QuickBooks does not require the use of passwords, the QuickBooks Administrator should set up and use a password since anyone logging in to the company’s QuickBooks files as the administrator has full access to all areas in QuickBooks. After setting up a name and password, the QuickBooks Administrator should click the “Closing Date” button in the “User List” window and enter the date through which books are closed in the “Accounting” preferences dialog box. The administrator can also password-protect the closing date (requires single-user mode). When this feature is enabled, QuickBooks requires users to enter the password before they can make changes to periods that have been closed.

The QuickBooks Administrator is the only user who can:

o Set up other users.

o Change other users’ access permissions.

o Set up a company file using the “EasyStep Interview.”

o Change company information (such as company name, address, fiscal year, tax year, tax form, and federal identification number).

o Change company preferences.

o Condense data.

o Import and export data.

o Apply for QuickBooks Merchant Account Services.

Note: Since the QuickBooks Administrator has the ability to password-protect the entire company’s files, has access to all accounting functions, and assigns access to all other users, the company should carefully consider whom to select as administrator. The person selected should have an understanding of the importance of this position on the internal control of the company. Some companies designate the controller or Chief Financial Officer as the QuickBooks Administrator because those individuals normally do not have direct interaction with the software.

The QuickBooks Administrator can set up additional users and specify the areas to which each person has access. To do so, select “Company” from the menu bar and “Set Up Users.” Then click the “Add User” button in the “User List” window. Assign a user name and password for the new user. Even though QuickBooks does not require the use of passwords, each user should be set up with a password that must be used when logging in to the company’s QuickBooks file. (An unlimited number of users can be added, but only five can have access to the company’s data file at the same time.)

After setting up the user name and password, the administrator then specifies whether the user will have access to selected areas of QuickBooks or all areas of QuickBooks. The user should not be given access to all areas of QuickBooks since that permission essentially establishes a second administrator allowing users to access the following:

o Sales and accounts receivable.

o Purchases and accounts payable.

o Checking and credit cards.

o Inventory.

o Time tracking.

o Payroll and employees.

o Sensitive accounting activities such as bank transfers, general journal entries, and online banking.

o Sensitive financial reports.

o Changing or deleting transactions.

o Changing closed transactions.

Note: Even if users need access to most of the preceding areas, they should not be allowed to change closed transactions.

Rather than giving users access to all areas of QuickBooks, the QuickBooks Administrator should give users access to selected areas. In that case, the QuickBooks Administrator specifies whether the user should be given no access, full access, or selective access to each individual area listed in the preceding paragraph. If the user is given selective access in a particular area, the QuickBooks Administrator also must specify whether the user can (a) create transactions only, (b) create and print transactions and forms, or (c) create transactions and create reports.

Sensitive Accounting Activities. Users generally should not be given access to sensitive accounting activities. Such activities include:

o Maintaining the chart of accounts.

o Working in the account register for balance sheet accounts.

o Reconciling accounts.

o Making journal entries.

o Using the “Accountant’s Review.”

o Transferring funds between accounts.

o Using online banking.

o Creating budgets.

o Printing registers.

o Condensing data.

Even if users are given full or selective access to sensitive accounting activities, they cannot create financial reports (with the exception of the “Payroll Report”) or change or delete previously recorded transactions. Those permissions must be assigned separately, as discussed in the following paragraphs. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with access to sensitive accounting activities.

Sensitive Financial Reports. Users generally should not be given access to sensitive financial reports (such as the balance sheet, profit and loss reports, budget reports, cash flow reports, income tax reports, and audit trail reports). That access allows users to create all reports and graphs available in QuickBooks. However, even users with access to reports cannot change or delete transactions included in the reports. That permission must be assigned separately, as discussed in the following paragraph. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with access to sensitive financial reports.

Changing and Deleting Transactions. Even if QuickBooks users have full access in a particular area, they cannot change or delete transactions in that area unless they are given that permission in the “Changing or Deleting Transactions” window. For example, a user with full access in the sales and accounts receivable area cannot change invoices or sales receipts unless they are given permission to change or delete transactions. However, even if users do not have permission to change or delete transactions, they can change or delete transactions they entered in the current QuickBooks session so that quickly identified data entry errors can be corrected. Users that are given permission to change or delete transactions can alter transactions only in areas in which they have access. For example, users that have access to the inventory area but not to the payroll area cannot alter payroll transactions even if they have permission to change or delete transactions. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with permission to change or delete historical transactions.

If a user is given permission to change or delete transactions in areas in which they have access, the “Changing or Deleting Transactions” window also asks whether the user should be able to change or delete transactions recorded before the closing date. The QuickBooks Administrator always should deny users access to such transactions by selecting “No” in response to that question. Even when “No” is selected, users can view prior-period transactions in QuickBooks areas to which they have access. If “Yes” is selected and the administrator sets a password, the user will be required to enter the password.

Viewing Data. QuickBooks allows the QuickBooks Administrator to limit a user’s access to creating sensitive financial reports or creating and printing sensitive reports. Companies can use this feature to allow the Controller, Chief Financial Officer, or another person independent of the accounting function the ability to oversee the accounting operations. Because many companies frequently have small accounting staffs, this increased oversight can mitigate some of the risk to the system of internal control created by having limited segregation of duties.

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Source by Leigh Ann

Views: 0

January 22, 2020
Addiction To Unrequited Love
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The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:
- obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
- codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
- narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
- ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.
Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):
- Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
- Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
- Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
- Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
- Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
- Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
- Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
- Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
- Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
- Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
- Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
- Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
- For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?
If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

Step 1: Communication With Yourself

The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:
- Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
- Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
- Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
- Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
- Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
- Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
- Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
- Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.
A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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Source by Mandy Peterson

Views: 0
January 22, 2020
Dousing the Flames of Marital Conflict

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Conflicts in marriage are endemic. Because this is a union of two distinct individuals each with his or her own likes, dislikes, prejudices and pet peeves, conflicts are built into the marriage packet. As the famous evangelist Billy Graham once said, “For a married couple to expect perfection in each other is unrealistic. The unblemished ideal exists only in ‘happily-ever-after’ fairy tales. ‘Happily incompatible’ is a good adjustment.”

No human relationship can exist in a permanent state of happiness, and conflicts need not be viewed as a sign of instability or impending rupture of marriage. Couples need to master the art of quarreling constructively and resolving all conflicts positively. A mature approach will increase understanding and trust, and strengthen their relationship. However this depends on their level of commitment to each other.

Areas of conflict:

o Finance: In this consumer-oriented society of today, money or the lack of it can lead to conflict. Spouses have different spending habits. Overspending or unnecessary spending by one partner can upset the family budget, leaving less money for essentials. Entertainment, alcohol, consumer goods can eat into one’s pocket. Similarly miserliness will also trigger conflict.

o When the needs, wants and desires of one partner are not met, there is a tendency to be irritable or argumentative over trifles.

o Domination: When one partner is excluded from the decisions that affect them both, friction is bound to arise. Similarly, procrastination by one partner on issues that need urgent decisions can be annoying.

o In-laws: Too much interference or over dependence of in-laws can become a bone of contention. Unfair references and comparisons lead to quarrels.

o Children: Different styles of parenting or lack of proper parenting skills can result in heated arguments.

o Sex: Husbands and wives have exclusive conjugal rights over their partners. Depriving a spouse of normal sexual activity creates tension in the relationship.

o Working wives: Some women with high tech jobs may not have quality time to spend with husband and children. Stress, fatigue or overwork can sap them of strength and put them in an irritable frame of mind.

o Habits: Drinking, smoking, gambling or drug taking are frequent causes of conflict.

o Social activities. Time consuming parties or games leave very little time to spend with each other.

o Physical and emotional abuse.

o Self-centeredness.

o Secrecy: Keeping important secrets from each other is a breach of trust.

o Infidelity.

The mark of a good marriage is not the absence of conflict, but how each partner deals with the problem. Conflict is like an ember with the potential to spark into a flame, and if not doused in time, can blaze into a conflagration. The foremost thing to remember is that it is not a battle between enemies. It is just a disagreement between spouses who have promised to love and cherish each other till the end of their lives.

“Many marriages would be better if both husband and wife realize that they are on the same side,” says Zig Ziglar.

The aim must be to diffuse the situation by proper resolution, so that it does not crop up again and again.

There are two options available.

1.The Negative Approach which will generate hostility.

2.The Positive Approach which will make the bonds of marriage stronger.

Negative Approach:

– One partner personalizes the problem and treats it as an attack. Women are more prone to this approach. They withdraw into themselves and wallow in self pity. Withdrawal may be physical, sexual or emotional. Breach of communication follows. This is a dangerous trend. A trivial problem festers in the mind until it assumes gigantic proportions.

– Angry reactions like yelling, crying, abuse, sarcasm, insults or even violence are disastrous. The idea obviously is to hurt the other person while defending one’s self in the blame game.

As Broderick said, “Couples who vent their anger and do nothing to get at its cause and cure are committing marital suicide.”

Positive Approach:

1. Couples should never communicate when angry. They should first think things over calmly by themselves and then discuss the issue. Privacy is important. Discussions should not take place in the presence of their children or relatives, but in a quiet place where there will be no interruptions. They must bear in mind at all times that they are allies and not adversaries. There must be eye contact throughout the discussion. Respect for each other’s feelings is important. So the tone of voice and body language must be appropriate. Listening carefully to the other’s point of view is showing respect. Questions and clarifications are in order. It is also a time to share one’s genuine hurts and frustrations. Generalizations like ‘You always find fault’ or ‘You never listen’ are not helpful.

2. The core issue must be tackled. It is important to define and discuss only the problem that started the conflict. Is the problem repetitive? Is there a recurring pattern? If so, why has the problem not been resolved before? There should be no deviation into unrelated issues. Old problems must not be dredged up and recycled to score a point.

3. Finance can be a contentious subject. Bad financial habits must be mended. Budgeting one’s income is important. If expenses go beyond the budgeted amount, there should be a discussion on how best to make good the deficit. Honest conversations about purchases, savings and overspending will help. It might require lowering one’s standard of living or finding other ways of income generation.

4. Sex is an important aspect of marriage. Withholding sex by one partner as a means of punishing the other, is hurtful. Sex enhances intimacy and reconciliation.

5. Spouses must take responsibility for their contribution to the problem. They should be willing to change their behaviour if necessary. Owning up faults and admitting their weaknesses will diffuse tension. Sometimes it may even be necessary to give into the partner’s wishes, even though not fully agreeable. It is important to focus on what is right and not on who is right. Compromise is by no means weakness. It reflects strength and helps resolve the problem permanently.

6. Forgiveness is the most important salve that will heal the hurt of conflict. Couples should be generous in forgiving each other’s faults. It may not be easy, but it is always better to get it over with and move on.

Conflicts in marriage are inevitable. Fault finding and negativity can destroy and tear apart relationships. ‘Let not the sun go down upon your wrath,’ advises Scripture. With proper communication, tolerance and commitment, most conflicts can be resolved.

As Alexander Perry said, “The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.”

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Source by Eva Bell

Views: 0

January 14, 2020
Benefits Of A Healthy Lifestyle

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Here are 8 benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

This Article is written to reach the public with a simple and clear method to point out and to reap the benefits of a healthy lifestyle while reducing the risks of chronic diseases such as diabetes.

With the increased understanding of our bodies that we have gained from science over the past few decades, the benefits of a healthy lifestyle are becoming more apparent, along with the reasons why we should detoxify the body at least once a year to remove harmful bacteria, and even worms, from our digestive system. For people of all ages, weights, and abilities the benefits of a healthy lifestyle are endless. But for now let’s look at eight simple benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

1. Your Health:

Good Health is not something that you buy from a drug store or a department store, but can be achieved by practicing collective patterns of health-related behavior, based on choices made from available options. Following this logic, if you wish to realize the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, you have to repeat some healthy pattern as a part of your daily or weekly activities, some patterns like eating right and exercising. Other benefits includes: Reduced health care costs, reduced illness and injuries, reduced doctors visit, Keeps you employed and improved employee/employer relations.

2. Weight:

Managing your weight is the key to attaining all of the health benefits of a Healthy Lifestyle. A weight reduction of just 10 percent will significantly reduce risk of heart disease and other obesity-related illnesses. Obesity/overweight is the second leading contributing factor to many childhood diseases such as orthopedic disorders, sleep apnea, type II diabetes mellitus, asthma, high blood pressure and cholesterol, skin disorders, emotional and psychosocial problems (Spigel, 2002), and many more. Weight-bearing exercise such as walking and strength training helps slow the onset of and/or prevent osteoporosis and some research shows that participating in such activities can actually build bone density and begin to reverse the disease. Other benefits are: Weight reduction, reduced tension and stress, improved well-being, Enhanced self-image and self-esteem and improved physical function.

3. Exercise:

Although drugs alone can often bring cholesterol down to normal levels, diet and exercise provide benefits that drugs don’t. They’ll lower blood pressure, reduce weight, and lower the risk of developing diabetes. A sedentary lifestyle is a dangerous risk factor for disease. Exercise and a healthy diet helps the body use insulin more efficiently and can help control, alleviate and prevent many diseases. Exercise, cessation of tobacco consumption, eating a high-fiber, low-fat diet, controlling body weight, and learning to cope with stress, reduce the risk of heart disease.

4. Medical:

We all want a trim and have healthy body for a variety of aesthetic, social and medical reasons. Healthy living is truly the best medicine. In a study conducted by Tufts University at the New England Medical Center, among patients with cardiovascular disease, an exercise program was shown to significantly reduce LDL cholesterol and other risk factors beyond what’s provided by drug therapy. Even modest weight loss can help reduce medical and pharmacy costs, help avoid bariatric surgery, and co-morbidities such as asthma, hypertension, and diabetes.

5. Wellness:

Wellness is about being comfortable in your space: your body, your attitude, and your environment. A healthy lifestyle can greatly increase a person’s longevity. And even though catching something contagious like a cold or flu is sometimes unavoidable, having the wisdom that feeling healthy is a better way to live should have you asking yourself why you are not taking action to live each day as beneficially as possible. The issue with a lot of people nowadays is that they are so busy working and/or taking care of everyone around them, that they neglect their own health and wellness. Make sure your heart is healthy and your bones are strong and Keep it that way to see the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

6. Care:

The best way to ensure good health is by taking care of yourself. The Care stakes are high but the potential rewards are great-preventing premature death, unnecessary illness, and disability, controlling health care cost, and maintaining a high quality of life into old age. With a healthy lifestyle, you are who you are and you don’t have to be self-conscious about those things that you otherwise would be if you didn’t care about your lifestyle

7. Control:

With a healthy lifestyle, you have more control of your life as you work with your body against those aspects of living which may work to hold you back if you would let them. With a healthy lifestyle, you have control over your sleep patterns so that you feel generally well rested throughout the day. With a healthy lifestyle, everything works together to help other aspects of your lifestyle make sense and benefit you. Science has proven that healthy weight loss, healthy eating and fitness routines make dramatic improvements in health, and help control common chronic illnesses like high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, stress, and general lack of stamina.

8. Strength:

Another benefit of a healthy lifestyle is a steady flow of stamina and strength; you can perform activities and exercises that will enhance your flexibility. With a healthy lifestyle, you have a balanced and varied diet that provides your body its needed nutrients and energy as well. You have strength to train to help build the muscle that supports the bones and joints; therefore decreasing the risk of falls and fractures. Cardiovascular exercise, also known as aerobic exercise, strengthens the heart muscle, therefore increases the heart’s efficiency. As we age, our bones biologically begin to lose mass and strength. Weight-bearing exercise such as walking and strength training helps slow the onset of and/or prevent osteoporosis and some research shows that participating in such activities can actually build bone density and begin to reverse the disease.

The good news is you don’t have to train like an Olympic athlete to enjoy the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. The secret and logic are repeating a chosen healthy pattern as a part of your daily or weekly activities. We hope that this will get you to a healthy lifestyle if you are not there already. A healthy lifestyle is a way of life.

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Source by Fortune Ezeoha

Views: 0

January 13, 2020
How to Ignite the Fire of MLM Success by Giving Value

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Prospects want to walk away feeling warm and cozy at the end of their visit. You can ignite the fire of MLM success by providing extreme value in all your content. This is another way to boost your business success and another way to define your business model. In another article, some business models were discussed, such include providing wants, luxuries, need, and solutions. In each one there is a value, but not all hold adding value to the same level as this model. You can use this mode to separate yourself from the crowd.

Breaking away from the crowd the easy way…

Everything that you create has value to some degree. In this model, the value must be clear and far reaching beyond measure. This means erasing the fluff and focusing on guided steps for your prospects. This means digging deep into your experience and pulling out all the pains and joys within your soul. When you write an article, it should stay focused on providing insightful advice or facts that helps the reader to go to the next level. You can do this in editorial articles as well, especially if you talk about your experience in each problem area. Keep the fluff to the minimal, but do talk about your struggles, but don’t dramatize the experience. You will not win an Oscar for drama in your marketing material.

To break away from the crowd and lead a vibrant industry your answers cannot be canned, they must be applicable to a given solution, even if you must discuss the pros and cons of your solution. Give the reader a desire to make up their minds without confusing them with side notes. Provide value that is relevant to the subject matter and tie it to similar material on the topic if applicable. This is how you become an expert and break away from the crowd. Prospects will seek out your advice on the given niche.

Review and Clarify your value in your content

As time progresses and you develop your skills and learn new ones. You can go back and review your content and re edit it to bring out the value for your prospects. Some content will expire and have no use. Other content may need a little remodeling to add life to it. It does help to create a checklist to use to measure the success of the given piece. Here is a small list to help you. The first thing to add the value of the message, rate it between one and five. Five being the best and one lowest. Does the material have the right level of value? Is it too fluffy or to off topic, again rate this between one and five. Did I use the right tone? Rate this question as well. Is the information outdated or is it cutting edge? You can use these quick questions to help revamp your older material. Happy marketing.

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Source by David L. Feinstein

Views: 0

January 13, 2020