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Words Can Help Heal – Sending a Pet Loss Card

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Anyone that has ever owned a pet knows that no matter how small an animal is, they each have their very own personality. Pets appreciate you. They look forward to seeing you daily. They make you feel wanted and needed. They can get you out of a funk. It is no wonder that we get attached to our pets.

Losing a pet is one of the hardest things that a pet owner will ever have to face. When someone loses a husband, a parent, or a child, we automatically think to send a card. We sometimes underestimate the importance of sending a pet loss card to a loved one. It is equally important to show you care by sending a heartfelt message. Simple words can mean so much to someone. It is comforting to a person who has lost a pet to know that their loved ones recognize their loss and respect their feelings of grief. The support of close friends and family during any loss can make the process a little easier to go through.

There are many way to express sympathy in a pet loss card. Here are some tips when writing words of comfort in a pet loss card:

1. Make sure to use your loved one’s pet name. Instead of saying “sorry about your dog”, say “sorry to hear about Max”.

2. If you have a specific story that your loved one ever talked about, mention it. It shows that you cared about the life of the animal and that not only were you listening, you were thoughtful enough to remember it.

3. Depending on your friend’s beliefs, mentioning the pet being in heaven can be comforting.

4. A lot of the time, pet owners feel some sort of guilt for having to euthanize a pet. It is important to let them know what good pet owners they were. Remind your loved one how awesome they were to their pet, and all the special little things they did to make their pet feel loved and special.

5. Offer your time. Mention that you are available any time to get a bite to eat, go out for coffee, or just listen. It helps not to be alone when you’re grieving. Although a lot of things probably aren’t exactly fun right away, doing things to keep your loved one’s mind off of the loss of her pet can help with the healing process.

No matter what you choose to say, make it personal. Remember that this pet played a huge role in your loved one’s life, and that your words mean more than you might know.

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Source by Lisa Falsetti

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
People Are Not Very Supportive Of My Marital Separation. They Aren’t Happy For Me If Things Improve

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I sometimes hear from people who are getting some hurtful feedback from those who are supposed to be “supporting” them during their marital separation. Sometimes, this so-called support comes from friends or family members. It can even come from the “support group” that you specifically joined in order to feel lifted up during your separation, which can be incredibly disappointing. Someone might say, “I did not really want to burden my family, friends, or coworkers with details about my separation. They know that I am separated, but I just don’t want to hear people’s personal opinions about my husband or my marriage. I am hoping to reconcile and so I don’t want to influence their opinions about my husband or about our relationship. However, I wanted a place to talk things through and to feel supported so I joined a support group for people going through a separation / divorce. The first week felt pretty good, but maybe that is because everyone was on their best behavior. I have to admit that the last few weeks, it really hasn’t gone well. I want to reconcile with my husband. I was looking for people who could identify with what I was going through to keep my spirits up while I was waiting to see what happened with my marriage. However, many of these people are getting ready to divorce and are quite bitter and angry. If I try to relay good news that happened between my husband and myself during the week, I sometimes get sarcastic comments. Someone might say ‘well, just wait. He’s just trying to be nice to you so that you’ll accept the divorce later.’ These type of comments are obviously not what I want to hear. I don’t mind expressing my fears, but I want people to try to talk me down or to help me look on the bright side. I don’t want people to tell me that the worst case scenario is going to happen or that all separations end in divorce. This is why I didn’t tell some friends and family, but now I am getting this with the support group. And yet, I know that I need support, so I am not sure what to do.”

I can really identify with what you are saying. I told some people about my own separation and I really came to regret it. Some of my friends became really angry with my husband and never really got over it – even after we reconciled. By then, I’d long forgiven my husband, and I just wanted to move on. But some people wouldn’t let it go. The thing is, with some people, if you tell them your most personal issues, then you’d better be ready to talk about those same issues every single time that you talk with them because they want to keep bringing it up and picking the scab. That is why you have to be really careful about who you confide in. Some people will project their own experiences and fears onto your experience and obviously, this doesn’t help you. Just because there are people in the support group who may be headed for divorce, this does not mean that you will be. At some point, I just had to tell people who weren’t supportive that I valued their friendship, but that I needed to talk about something else. Then I sought support elsewhere.

If you have not tried counseling, that is probably the very best option for support. They are trained professionals whose only job is to help you. They don’t know you outside of this and therefore are not going to let other things bleed into the reason for your being there. That is really the ideal scenario, but if you are resistant to counseling, then you have to pick your “trusted support person” carefully. If you truly feel that the support group isn’t going to improve, then you want to make sure that if you decide to end this support system, then you have already replaced it with a new and better one. Honestly, my ideal support person was not who I thought that it would be. It was someone from work who I did not know very well and perhaps that helped. She didn’t have all of the history with me that some of my other friends did. And she had separated and reconciled previously so she understood my thought process. Our interactions always left me feeling better, and not worse.

I often journaled my feelings on weekends because I knew that I needed to get them out and didn’t have access to my best support person. I came to decide that I’d rather journal to release my feelings than to have unsupportive people make me feel worse.

It’s important to remember that you can control who you allow to influence you. It’s possible to politely retreat when people aren’t understanding or supportive. It can be really important to surround yourself with positivity because it’s easy to get discouraged. And it’s very important to remember that people’s unsupportive reactions usually have more to do with their situation than with yours. They are projecting their own life and their own problems onto you, which just isn’t fair. If the support group isn’t providing the support that you need and is just making you feel worse, there’s nothing wrong with politely seeking support elsewhere. Because support is very important, but it can be tricky and difficult to find the right, objective person or group of people. At the same time, you don’t want to alienate family and friends, which is why it’s fine to just change the subject and ask to discuss something else.

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Source by Leslie Cane

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Dealing With Customer Complaints – B.L.A.S.T

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In a restaurant, not so far away, in the not so distant future, a telephone rings, a customer complains… and the battle begins!

Handling customer complaints doesn’t have to always be a battle, with the right tools and responses you can use complaints to your advantage; to help you build your business. B.L.A.S.T is a great tool that is used by companies such as Yum! (Parent company of KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, A&W, and Long John Silvers). Training their employees in the basics of handling customer complaints. The acronym stands for:

Believe

Listen

Apologize

Satisfy

Thank

How does your company deal with customer complaints? The easiest way to find out is to pick up the phone and play the role of the complaining customer. What happened? If you were an irritated customer, would you return? Using the B.L.A.S.T guidelines, allows you to create a standardized method for dealing with your complainers and turning them into loyal customers.

Believe

This is the cornerstone of handling a customer complaint. Yes, the customer may be lying and be incorrect about their situation. It is important to understand that your customer believes that your establishment has wronged them.

Listen

Stop and listen to your customer’s complaint. I’m not certain whether it’s natural instinct or just plain stubbornness. As soon as a customer starts to complain, we start to think of how we will respond to the accusation before we are done listening, and too often the case, already have the response ready to fight back. Take a second, relax, and listen. On occasion a complaining customer will be rude, angry, and use vulgar language, stay the course and remain calm and level headed.

When the customer is done venting; in a calm, non-judgmental tone, repeat their problem. An example I used in my KFC for a mispacked order:

“What I hear you saying is that, you came in ordered and paid for 10 Pieces of chicken and when you got home, you only received 8, is that correct?”

By repeating the problem at hand, you’ve demonstrated your ability to the customer that you heard and understood their problem.

Listen and clarify. Never defend or justify. The customer doesn’t care if you were shorthanded or if you’re having a bad day, they only care that they get taken care of. No excuses, just solutions.

Apologize

Always apologize even if you did nothing wrong. From your customers’ perspective, they have a legitimate complaint, and they expect an apology. It could be as simple as “I’m sorry we’ve inconvenienced you.” or “I’m sorry I know how frustrating it is to buy dinner for my family, only not to have everything there when I get home” A sincere apology will usually diffuse a lot of frustration that the customer has. There is an exception to this rule though, if a customer calls with a critical complaint, such as food poisoning, don’t apologize, it may be construed as an acceptance of guilt, instead refer to your company’s procedures for such events.

Satisfy

Make it right. Ask the customer “What can I do to make this right for you”? Be the judge of what is fair of course, but allow them the opportunity to feel empowered over the situation. Many times they may ask for the problem be taken care of on their next visit or maybe that you talk to the person who made the mistake and correct them. We used a great system of sending out a personalized postcard apologizing for the mistake, it was a couple of handwritten sentences (yes, many times with spelling mistakes from my team members), but it was personal and always well received. We always gave them the unexpected as well, maybe a free dessert or an extra side dish just to show that we cared about them.

Thank

At the beginning, at the end, in the middle; it doesn’t matter, thank the customer for calling and complaining.

Why? With the simple act of complaining, your customer is telling you “I care about your business and your success”. They are giving you the opportunity to fix the problem and invite them back so they can give you more of their money. Puts a different spin on it doesn’t it? Thank them for giving you that second chance, for letting you know that something in your restaurant didn’t work like it normally does, for giving you the chance to make it right, and for the opportunity not to damage your reputation!

Reputation? I had to throw that one in. You work hard, day in day out, trying the best to make your business the best, and yet one unhappy customer can take it away from you. A happy customer will tell two or three friends about a good experience, but an unhappy customer will tell at least ten friends about their experience and it always multiplies through word of mouth. Case in point, when I moved cross country to my new hometown, I was at a Chamber of Commerce event and being the new person in the group, I introduced myself and what we did. No sooner than five minutes passed did I get a list of 10 restaurants in my area that in their opinion were in “need of my services”. Only one person gave me a good restaurant. I didn’t ask, I was told. To this day I still haven’t been to those restaurants as a customer, why do I want to give them my hard earned money, when they made my new friends unhappy? It may not be a rational thought, but it is human nature.

Will some people take advantage of your kindness? Of course, a rule of thumb I used in my restaurant was:

First time shame on me,

Second time shame on me, but I’m watching you,

Third time… Shame on you and I will make the decision on how I will deal with you as a customer.

Keep track of who calls to complain, names, phone numbers for follow up, addresses for your postcards. Using a binder and tracking your complaints, you will be able to detect and deter those that would take advantage of your new complaint procedures.

Adding B.L.A.S.T to your expanding toolbox of customer service tools will help you in dealing with customer complaints and turn them around so they can tell their friends what great service you have!

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Source by Albert Barneto

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
A Critical Review of IsXpera Multi-Level Marketing Business

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IsXperia is an MLM enterprise that is making a little bit of noise out there. I know you are reading this because you're considering signing up with them or your are already part of IsXperia Network marketing venture and you are searching for a way to build your enterprise very quick. You have come to right page. You will find few measuring standards that we use to evaluate any Network marketing corporations out there. We will examine their leadership, the product and services that they offer and finally the best way to make with this Network marketing business opportunity.

IsXperia Leadership Examination:

You must examine the leadership of any MLM Network marketing corporation prior to deciding to decide to join them. Ok, i'll just say that I do not know the founders of IsXperia personally. But from what I an gather about them, they are people of integrity. The founders, Christopher Bratta, Gina Bratta surround themselves with well known leaders in the MLM Multilevel marketing Industry. The leadership of this company should not be a reason not to join.

IsXperia Product Review: Pro

This company markets varieties of products out there. The products that they are advertising includes Boykin (skin products), Vital Xpression (Energy supplements), Body Xpression (For treating cellulite) and XpressSunTravel (become a travel agent), and finally id180. With id180, this enterprise will build your site for you and they're going to help you host it. They have a lot more multiple products coming out. One positive aspect of this company is that the products and services are somewhat sellable and diverse.

IsXperia Product Examination: Con

Not having a doubt, diversity is a fantastic thing. On the other hand, too much diversity (Business speaking) can certainly be a negative thing for almost any venture. As you have likely observed from this enterprise, they market skin products, traveling packages and they are also doing web hosting. This has the potential of confusing any new prospects out there and you losing focus.

Another negative that I see with IsXperia is that their products are overpriced in my opinion. You might go to their website and check the prices. I mean it will cost you almost $ 1000 web hosting setup services and $ 50 recurring bill every month. The traveling package will charge you $ 399 plus recurring $ 39.95.

IsXperia Analysis: Success Secrets

Make no mistake about it, you might absolutely money with IsXperia only in the event you know how to do the following things

1. You have to discover ways to market. What do you think you're marketing? You are marketing You. Folks will do business with folks. You must be a man or woman of value. Pitching your IsXperia business to family, friends and strangers at the mall won't work. Trust me on that. As matter of fact, your loved ones and friends will be your largest critic. Invest in yourself. Read motivational books and play the audio book as well. Have value. Always learn new things. Be a leader. Folks will follow you whenever you are a leader.

2. Learn to create leads. This really is folks venture at the end of the day. You need to be chatting to at least 30 individuals everyday and connecting with them. In the event you choose to buy these leads, you'll go out of cash. Create your own MLM leads with an internet self branded MLM lead generation system. Your business will grow very quick in the event you learn to do this.

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Source by Wole Lawrence

Views: 1

July 30, 2022
Different Types of Drug Rehab

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Drug rehab is a broad topic as there are many forms of drug rehab. Which type would suit a person with an addition would depend on the level of dependence, the type of drug addicted to, and their social situation. Some of the drug rehab centers offer medicine that will help to relieve the withdrawal symptoms, methods to address the underlying reason of additions, and intensive counseling. Many drug rehab centers offer out-patient and in-patient treatment.

Generally, every form of rehab starts in a medical locale. This is so professional health care staff can monitor the patient during chemical detoxification. This is when the drug leaves their system chemically and the patient no longer is dependent physically on the drug. Under the health care professional supervision, the patient's side-effects can be eased with medication, sleep, and proper nutrition. This is an interventionary stage and it is seldom enough to allow them to recover completely from their drug addiction because there is no psychological component.

In-patient treatment

This kind of rehab provides supervision on a full time basis in an environment that is tightly controlled. The patient can live in a community outreach center, psychiatric cent, or a facility that is connected with a hospital. The drug rehab center provides support with housing and meal plans. This form of drug rehab will usually involve an interventionary program. This can be as few as thirty days along with the belief that the patient will continue treatment as an out-patient.

Out-patient treatment

This type of rehab relies on addicts voluntarily attending treatment as an out-patient. This means that the patients will work and live independently, attend meeting, classes, or counseling sessions that are designed to give them new coping mechanisms to manage stress so they do not return to drugs. It includes a 12-step program like what is used with Alcoholics Anonymous and has a strong spiritual center. This form of drug rehab can be casual or during group therapy with a counselor trained in drug addictions in a out-patient setting.

Underlying causes

Some drug rehab centers try to address the underlying causes of repeated relapse and addition.

• Estrangement from friends and family
• Not having a support system
• Little to no employment skills
• Living in an area that is united entirely by those that use drugs
• Mental illness

Holistic approach to drug rehab

With this approach there are community centers and half-way houses where they can receive practical advice, acquire job skills, and sufficient time to remove themselves completely from old acquaintances that are still into drugs. Many times, they will allow them to stay six to twelve months. When they leave they are confident they can manage on their own without going back to drugs.

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Source by Lora Davis

Views: 1

July 29, 2022
How To Heal Yourself & Begin To Move On From A Broken Relationship

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Are you newly single? Have you just come out of a relationship or marriage? Failed relationships can be painful and challenging to overcome. While the most common solution is to rebound into another relationship, these relationships rarely survive beyond a few months. And even if they do, they mostly work more like a compromise. The best way out is to take advantage of your new relationship status by learning from the past and recreating your life. A breakup or divorce can be a positive experience if you choose to learn from it.

Learn from a failed relationship and prepare to receive your future partner:

What's the lesson? Every failed relationship provides at least one significant lesson. What was it? Relationships typically fail either due to errors in choosing a partner or errors in behavior. Reflect and see where "you" made a mistake and decide to do something better next time. If you have multiple failed relationships, check to see if there is a pattern you can identify common to all of them. If you can understand your contributions to the failed relationship, you'd be in a better position to attract the right person and make it work!

Let it go. Unless there are children involved, consider ceasing all contact till you get over the hurt. Resist the tendency to "accidentally" run into them at your favorite hangout, send a late-night text message, or stalk them on Facebook. Take anything that reminds you of them, box it up, and put it in the garage. It is possible to be friends with your 'ex-partner / spouse' but it takes two very matured people to make that happen plus some healing time to reach a point where a healthy friendship can be maintained with no heart aches.

Forgive him / her for your own sake. It's an easy word to say, but challenging to do. Remember! There's no closure without forgiveness. Forgiveness is about freeing ourselves from the energy-draining quest for retribution.

Be there for yourself. It can be tempting to compromise on your hygiene, sit in front of the TV in your pajamas, and avoid the gym. However, it's important to continue taking care of yourself. Get a shower, spend time with friends that really care about you, and maintain your normal routine.

Get your life in order. Find a job you like if you don't already have one. Ensure your finances are in order. Get in shape. Feel good about your life and yourself before dating again. You want to have a great life to share with someone else, rather than find someone to fill in all the gaps and solve all the challenges in your life. Fix your life first! You'll be a much more attractive partner, when you do that.

Transform your space. Create a new environment at home. Move the furniture around. Renovate your home. Give yourself a fresh start.

Find a new hobby. There has got to be something you have always wanted to do. Now is the perfect time to do it! Take a photography class or buy a guitar. Join a dance class. Add something new and fun to your life.

Enjoy the freedom. Just enjoy the time, space and freedom of being single. Avoid starting a new relationship immediately. Spend more time with your friends and family.

Decide what you are looking for. Make a list of what you would like in a potential partner. Think about your past relationship experiences and put together a description of what you would like in a new partner. Also reflect on what that kind of person will be looking in their ideal partner. Work on yourself to develop those traits. Begin looking, but avoid straying too far from your list of requirements. Avoid falling into old patterns.

Take one step at a time. When you find a potential match, enjoy it. There's no rush. Take it slow. Neither be desperate for a commitment, nor commit too soon. Let it flow.

Moving on after a failed relationship can be especially challenging. Rely on friends and family to see you through. A breakup or divorce is an ideal time for self-examination and making positive changes in your life. There's no reason to be in a hurry to find a new partner. Move on from the past before jumping into a new relationship.

"Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being. " – Jean-Yves LeLoup

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Source by Nidhika Bahl

Views: 0

July 29, 2022
Always Be in Money Making Mode!

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Every day you should be doing something to make money. Making money can become a habit, just like not making money. It is important that you cultivate and develop the money-making mindset.

If you have an email list send them valuable and information information on a regular basis. If you are creating content to get links back to your website, create it every day. Do something – an article, a press release, a video, a blog post or comment. Do it every day.

Do something every day to bring in money. Get obsessed and addicted to making money. Put your focus on making money, not TV and other non money making time wasters. Making money absolutely must become your new lifestyle.

If you truly want to be successful and make your living online it is time to sacrifice your normal time that’s dedicated to other things, and shift that time and focus to creating cash flow.

Start with where you are right now, start with the knowledge you have right now. Start with the resources and assets you have right now. Don’t wait until you know it all because you never will!

Your income is going to come from how much product/service you sell. You have to change your focus and how you use your time.

Full time marketers (or those who want to be full time marketers) focus their time and attention on “making money”… they focus on selling stuff. It’s not rocket science my friends.

Too many distributors spend their time on making changes to their website, changes that will have little effect on sales. Don’t get caught up in this. Stop worrying about making your store ‘pretty’ and trying to get everything perfect because you never will! I don’t care if you have only one product or 200 products… spend your time promoting what you have!

Focus on those things that will make you money like driving traffic to your website, building your list and selling to your list.

At the end of each day always ask yourself “What did I do today to make more money from my store?” Whether small or large always do something daily to make money. That is the reason you have your store, to make money.

If your store is to satisfy your Ego or impress others kill it right now and find a regular job!

Do whatever you can to get visitors to sign up on your list. Give your list members valuable and informative free stuff like written articles and reports, videos about your niche and videos on using your products, surveys… anything that bonds them to you. You give people FREE and valuable helpful information and they will reciprocate by giving your orders.

Your long term GOLDEN GOOSE to making you tons of money online is building a huge email/newsletter list and making them loyal followers and then SELLING to them!

Like I said, it’s not rocket science people, it’s plain and simple BUSINESS! Now go and let making money dominate your thoughts 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year!

Godspeed… CoachDoug

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Source by Doug Allan Dammeier

Views: 0

July 28, 2022
Valentines Are Healing In So Many Ways

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As a child it was loads of fun to make Valentines for each member of my class. Valentines are healing in so many ways. I felt the good feeling of making something for someone else.

Looking back on the time, I realize now, Mom was probably just finding projects to keep me and my three sisters busy for a couple of afternoons. We cut and pasted, trimmed and folded. I loved the color pink, so it didn't surprise anyone when all my valentines had more pink on them and that I kinda 'dominated the pink crayon out of the set of crayons us sisters shared.

Mom was careful to have us take a break with hot chocolate and marshmallows out on the porch so we didn't muss up our Valentines and, so we wouldn't get too weary before our mission was accomplished. It was an exciting time of the school year.

Being the youngest of the four, Mom helped my valentines "just a little" so they would be presentable. We lived on a simple budget, so the one package of store bought Valentines purchased had to be shared out between us. Also bought was a box of Valentine candies and we carefully put one candy in each Valentine. I had four store Valentines and twenty-two homemade Valentines when I set out for school the morning of Valentine's Day.

Of course, my teacher would get a store bought Valentine and I had made the biggest homemade one for her too. Then there was my two best friends, Elaine and Joanna. I had made them a homemade Valentine plus a store Valentine. I had one store Valentine left and I couldn't think of one more person to give it to. It was so special.

My teacher had set aside the afternoon for exchanging Valentines. It was difficult for us all to think of school work when so much was going to happen that day. All morning I looked around the room to see someone who would get my last special store Valentine. I talked it over with my two friends and they made suggestions too, but the ones they suggested were more their friends and I was a "tag-along."

Then exchange time came and the energy level of the classroom escalated to a high roar. Notes flying around the room and everyone smiling. I got twenty-four Valentines. Most my Valentines had a candy in them too, so I thought I had a pretty good trade around. Valentines are healing in so many ways and I knew I had many friends.

Through all the excitement, I clear forgot about my last special store Valentine. As I walked from the bus to home, I remembered it. As I rounded the last corner, there was Daddy's car parked in the driveway. The love swelled inside me and I had such a good idea. I ran into the house, got the crayons and paper out.

I made one more Valentine. A big one with lots of pink on it because I knew Mom liked pink too. That was probably where I got the idea to have it be my color. I wrote "I Love You" on the back of both Valentines. Then I gave the one store Valentine to Daddy and the homemade Valentine to Mom.

They were so surprised and Daddy grabbed me up into his arms and told me he never had such a sweet little "Milly" in his life. I knew I was special. It was the first dawning on my little heart that I was born to my "Best Friends."

Now I am older, I still remember the good times we had around Valentine's Day. My friends from first grade I have lost track of, but the memories of the love I felt from my parents will last forever. Valentines are healing in so many ways. Valentine's Day is one more opportunity to heal a heart by saying the three words, "I Love You."

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Source by Milly Barlow

Views: 0

July 28, 2022
When You're Back on the Dating Scene

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With so many relationships breaking down and such a high percentage of marriages ending in divorce it's no wonder that many of us will, at some point, end up back on the dating scene.

We may be older and wiser, a little battered and bruised, but often, once we're ready to date again, thinking about rejoining the fray, we'll be harboring the fantasy of meeting someone special. Back on the dating scene means being optimistic, hopeful and looking forward to finding love again.

What do we need to consider when we're back on the dating scene?

– Our previous relationship experiences may have scarred our view and made us wary of what might go wrong. We may be keen to meet someone new but are nervous of trusting again. Cynicism of others' motives and being uncertain of our own instincts after getting it wrong may be sensible forms of self-protection, but if we treat all new dates with apprehension they will quickly sense our hesitancy and lack of enthusiasm. It's not going to bode well if we're on permanent alert, suspicious of their comments, behavior or intentions.

Counseling and hypnotherapy can be a useful start to the healing process and a good way to deal with past upsets. Therapy can help us to improve our confidence, self-esteem and remedy unwanted habit patterns, so becoming more assertive in an appropriate adult way. Don't forget that most potential dates will have their own story too, with their concerns, unease and fears. Starting out, second time around, can be a cautious time for both.

– This can be a good time to do things that boost your confidence. Maybe your wardrobe, make up or grooming regime need a refresh. Small changes can make a massive difference to how you feel about yourself and often cost very little to implement. Pay attention to current affairs, popular TV and local events so that you can easily join in conversations and offer relevant opinions. Think about picking up a hobby or interest, volunteering or joining a course. Exams don't have to be a factor!

– You may have to deal with children who are not too impressed at the thought of you dating again. They may have been through the damage of the breakup, witnessed the pain of the divorce and are used to you being around, more like your old self and always there for them. The thought of a new 'mum' or 'dad' arriving on the scene may fill them with horror.

Dependant on their age and awareness of the reasons for the breakup, they may have put your ex on a pedestal, especially if he or she is seen as the victim, all alone and struggling to recover. Giving you 'permission' to starting dating again might seem like a step too far and incredibly disloyal.

Children's jealousy, resentment and emotional blackmail may need to be navigated with kind but firm determination, especially if they refuse to share you or treat any potential serious new relationship with shock or disdain. Sometimes it's advisable to keep the fact that you're dating private until you're confident that this new relationship is right for you, even if that decision remains in place for months or even years, until the children are older or more settled.

And if they do insist on overseeing your love life it's important to refuse to allow yourself to be bullied by them. Older children are often determined to live their life on their terms, but equally they must allow you to do the same.

– Ageing, older parents can sometimes start to increase their demands just as you're ready to start back on the dating scene. They may be increasingly fragile and in need of greater levels of support. There may be concerns at leaving them unattended for too long, or that you could be called away at a moments notice. It could make the notion of dating again seem like too much hassle.

But supportive friends or the services offered by many local care agencies could potentially step into the breach and provide whatever level of support is required to help ease those concerns. And mobile phones make us all easily accessible.

– Friends too can send mixed messages. Sometimes at the outset, they may display great enthusiasm about getting you back on the dating scene. They may be keen to introduce you to single friends, arrange coffees, support you as you aim to lose a little weight and update your image. But then, if you become more committed to dating reality may sink in for them. The awareness that if you become serious about someone new and how it could significantly change your close, supportive relationship may hit them hard and prompt them to revise their approach.

Become aware of them starting to discourage you or of them regularly finding fault with your new love interest. Trust your gut and pay attention to any reasonable concerns they may have, but also appreciate that other people's perception of your date will be different to yours, especially if they're coming from a long-established, cozy, familiar relationship scenario.

Have some fun, take good care of yourself and enjoy getting back on the dating scene!

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Source by Susan Leigh

Views: 0

July 28, 2022
The Gay Solution (1): Finding a Loving Male Partner to Marry

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Sex without love wouldn't satisfy you for more than 15 minutes and love without sex wouldn't satisfy you at all. So how do you find both in the same man? That was the question I left you with in a previous article.

A friend of mine is a life-insurance broker. He always says that there is only one rule for survival in sales and that is see people, see people, and see people. It's a numbers game. Of all the people you are going to see only between 2 and 10% will buy from you, so the more you see, the better your sales. Meeting people is exactly the same; the more people you meet, the better your chance of meeting the right person. Luckily there are a few possibilities in meeting new people.

The older guys (read: even older than I am) tell us that they didn't have gay clubs, bars, or dating services so they had to refine their gaydar and flirting skills. The fact is that those skills are still just as valuable today as they were years ago. Another important skill is taking it one step at a time. Two types of guys never end up with a perfect match; those who fly off in a second, and those who never come out of the starting block. The guys that fly off are proposing marriage before they even know the other guy, and those in the starting blocks only stare evening in and evening out.

If you are a flyer you need to relax. Look for friends in stead of possible partners. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than a guy who hits on you after he has tried everybody else on his way to your table. Friendly people have a few good friends, many acquaintances, and two or three possible people they might be interested in. Guys who try to fly into serious relationships have no friends, one or two acquaintances, and the whole city as possible people they are interested in. The important thing you should learn from this is that you start by meeting lots of people, you will find a few very good friends among them, and in time you will meet somebody you are really interested in. Flyers always run the risk of getting their heart broken on a weekly basis. You can never keep up with who they are in love with – it changes every time you see them, and every month or two they try you yet again. That is when you decide to ignore them completely.

The guys who never take off are almost in the same position. They see a possibility every night, but they are too scared to do anything about it. They look a bit weird if they stand in a corner ogling everybody so you ignore them as well. They have a few acquaintances that turns into friends because they normally end up in a group of seekers – waiting for something that never happens. If you are in such a group get out and start building your self-esteem. If you do not think that you are good enough as a partner, nobody else will believe in you either.

With that in your mind go back to the gay clubs, gay bars, dating sites, and the gay section of your local bookstore – start by making friends, being a good friend, and enjoying friendship for its own rewards. Stay away from the friend-zone – that is the ogling bunch in the corner. You will do fine.

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Source by Brand Doubell

Views: 0

July 28, 2022