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Guilt Is a Useless Emotion

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I once read a poem in my doctor’s office that went something like this:

If a child is raised in anger, he will feel anger.

If a child is raised with guilt, he will feel guilty.

If a child is raised with shame, he will feel shame.

If a child is raised in love, he will feel love.

Of course that is not the whole poem, but you get the point. At the time, the poem was just something to read while I waited. Today the meaning is very clear to me.

There is no such thing as guilt, you can not go to the store and buy a pound or bag of guilt. It is a man made ego minded emotion this is detrimental to humans living to their full potential.

It seems to me that women carry so much guilt, whether it stems from being a woman, or the way we raised our children, or for being/or wanting to be successful, to being a sexual human. Where did it all start? Why have we continued to pass this down to each new generations? Mostly we do it subconsciously, although I know there are times when it is used for our advantage in certain situations.

Many moons ago the female Goddess energy was the ruler of the universe, it was honored and valued. Did guilt arise when we stopped tuning into that energy and were slowly overpowered by the male energy that has dominated the universe for so long? Was it because we stopped standing our ground and speaking our truth? Who knows were guilt originated. I am not saying it is a female only emotion, nor pointing fingers, my point is for this particular article only.

Guilt has kept so many stuck in the same place for years. Why? Just like the poem says, it is passed down through the stories we were told by our parents, grand parents, teachers and role models. These stories were laced with limiting beliefs that blocked us from actually achieving our full potential in life. This useless emotion became a vicious circle that many are still trying to step out of, or don’t even realize they are in.

You get a great idea that will make you lots of money. Then the guilt thinking comes in, you start to hear the old stories, you can’t make more money than your husband, men are supposed to support the family. You may even see pictures of the people telling the story. OR, even worse, you want to express your sexuality, or your sexual energy and you hear that voice saying “good girls don’t” Well guess what, good girls do, and they have been for years. Even those catholic girls in high school that swore they didn’t. They do. We are human, we don’t need to feel guilty about anything. Especially expressing our true selves.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, everyone, but we don’t have to feel guilty about it and carry it with us the rest of our lives. It is time to free ourselves of the past, to free ourselves of the guilt. It is time to forgive ourselves for allowing this to control any part of our lives.

Guilt is an emotion that comes from fear based thinking. If we take a really good look at why we feel guilty for any particular situation, we will probably find that the thought process is not even our own. It was something passed down to us from someone else. And to think that is ruling our days!!

Fortunately there is good news. The choice is ours as to whether we are going to carry the guilt or let it go. Give a moment to think how you would feel if you decided right this moment to let go of it. How would it feel to have put it out with the garbage on Monday morning? How does it feel? Light? Airy? Expansive? Free? Now ask yourself this. How often do you put the garbage out at the road, and then walk out and bring it back into the house? Never, Right? The same needs to happen when letting go of guilt, once you put it out, leave it out. In fact don’t even go back to smell it.

How can we release guilt? Here are a few steps, these require you to love yourself enough to give yourself permission to feel good.

1. Write out what you feel guilty about and why. Take one situation at a time. Write adamantly, don’t hold back on anything, just let it all go, allow the emotions to flow. Once you are done, set it down for a few moments, then go back and write a little more. Don’t read it over, tear it up, or burn it. As you do repeat ” I now choose to let this go, it no longer affects my life.”

2. Sit with a situation in mind. Allow yourself to feel how you feel about it, visualize it, hear the stories other people told you about the situation. Feel where you feel this in your body. Ask yourself if the guilt is yours or someone else’s? When you have sat with it as long as you can, allow yourself to let it go. Visualize it leaving your body, feel it leaving your body and say I choose to let this go. I no longer need this in my life. I let it go in exchange for peace.

3. Change the story you are telling yourself. When you catch yourself telling the guilt story either to yourself or someone else, catch it, don’t judge it, just change it to something possible, with positive emotions. Be aware of the thoughts and stories you tell, after all we get to choose them, they might as well be positive.

4. Train your mind to look for thing to be grateful for. You will always find what you are look for, again it might as well be positive.

In doing these exercises you will release the emotional charge the thoughts and feelings have on you. The memories may come back from time to time, but the emotions will not take hold of you, they will not control you. Quilt really is a useless emotion, with a choice attached. I choose to let it go so I can soar through the rest of my life free as a bird. Free yourself.

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Source by Jenn Prothero

Views: 0

July 24, 2022
Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

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If one was single and they were to meet someone who showed a lot of interest in them, they could find that they end up being drawn to them. And what might also play a part here is that one may be physically attracted to them.

Through being in this person’s presence, one could start to experience a lot of positive feelings. In a way, it could be as if this person is a breath of fresh air; with them being someone who has come into their life to make it better.

A Fast Build Up

After the first encounter, it might not be long until the other person is acting in a ways or talking about things that wouldn’t usually take place or be mentioned for quite some time. It will be clear that the other person doesn’t want to take their time and to allow everything to develop organically.

It will be like starting in first gear and going straight into the last gear; instead of starting in first and gradually moving through each gear. At this point, one could have put their thinking brain to one side and be completely caught up in what is going on.

For Example

So after one has had their first encounter with this person, their phone could constantly go off. This can be a time when this person will message and call them, telling them how much they like them, how special they are and the type of things that they want to do with them, for instance.

This person could also say that they should move in together and go into what their future will be like. Additionally, one may find that this person sends them gifts while they are at work and they could come across love notes and letters from them.

The Next Stage

After they have seen each other a few times or only known each other for a matter of weeks, the other person could ask them if they are now in a relationship. They could even go one step further than this by talking about how much they love them.

And if they do end up moving in together after such a short period of time, one could spend even less time with others. In fact, ones whole life could end up revolving around their partner – someone they have only just met.

On Top Of the World

At this point one could feel as though they are on cloud nine, with them basking in positive feelings and the loving behaviour of their partner. Nonetheless, it might not be long until their partner starts to change.

Now that this person has pulled one in, they could end up trying to control how they live their life. If one doesn’t do what they want, they might find that their partner leaves or that it is not possible to get hold of them.

Hot and Cold

This person will have done everything that they could to warm them up in the beginning and, how that they have them in the palm of their hands, so to speak, they will take advantage of them. Due to their fear of losing their partner and being rejected and/or abandoned, one can have the need to do whatever their partner wants them to do.

If this means no longer seeing their friends and family, putting their interests to one side and/or neglecting their own health, for instance, they will do it to try to regain their ‘love’. Ultimately, one will have become hooked on their partner’s attention or the dopamine that they trigger inside them, which is why they won’t feel good when their attention is no longer there.

Drawing the Line

One could then do what their partner wants and before long, they could pull away again. They might turn up in a few days or it could be a number of months before they reappear.

Clearly, having this person in their life is not doing them any good, and the sooner they cut their ties with them the better. There are a number of things that they can do to gradually get back on their feet and to regain their energy.

A Few Steps

Firstly, it will be a good idea for one to no longer speak to this person in person, over a screen, or over the phone. If this person won’t accept this, one may need to get in touch with the police.

Secondly, it will be good for them to get back in touch with family and friends, so that they can go over what took place and gain their support. Thirdly, taking time to do what they enjoy will make it easier for them to take their mind of this person, and, fourthly, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.

Stepping Back

It could be said that just about anyone could be love bombed, yet there are going to be things that will make one more susceptible to this type of behaviour. And if one has gone through this experience on more than one occasion, it is likely to show they need to take a deeper look into why this keeps taking place.

However, this is not about one blaming or shaming themselves for what has taken place; it is simply about them taking a step back and looking into what they might need to do to prevent this from taking place again. This is about awareness as if one can see that there is a reason why this keeps taking place; they can do something about it.

A Closer Look

If they were to do this, what might become clear is that they don’t feel good about themselves. Therefore, as soon as someone comes along and gives them so much positive feedback, they drink it all up.

Said another way, they are in a position where they desperately want someone to love them. Consciously or unconsciously, a love bomber realises this and ends up exploiting their weakness.

An Easy Target

If one did value themselves, they wouldn’t need as much from another person, and this would enable them to be more discerning when it comes to who they allow into their life. And as opposed to feeling good when another person comes on strong right at the start, they might end up feeling as though something isn’t right.

They might realise that as this person knows very little about them, it probably shows that they are trying to manipulate them. The love that they have for themselves will also allow them to have strong boundaries.

Additional Points

Furthermore, through valuing who they are, they would most likely have a number of close friends who they can share their life with. These people would then be there to give them feedback and to support them.

Another part of this is that one would also do things that they enjoy and this would strengthen them and fill their life with meaning. They would value themselves enough not to neglect themselves.

The Reason

If one was to find that they don’t value themselves, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time in their life when they were abused and/or neglected.

Thanks to how they were treated, they would have come to believe that they were worthless and they may carry the pain of being rejected and abandoned. Being treated badly is then going to be something that feels comfortable at a deeper level.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace their inherent value, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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There will be the negative beliefs that that they need to question and replace, and there will be the emotional wounds that they need to heal. The main thing is that one does what they need to do and doesn’t give up on themselves.

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Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Views: 0

July 23, 2022
Teen Drug Rehab – How Parents Can Help

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No parent wants to have a teen that is addicted to drugs or alcohol or have to place them in a teen drug rehab center. Putting your teen in this type of center is probably going to be one of the most difficult things you as a parent will ever do. Yes, you are glad they are getting the help that they need now but what will the future hold. When they leave drug rehab there are strategies that you can use to help yourself, your teen, and your family work through the challenges of the drug rehab process.

On your teen’s life, substance abuse can have a long-term, divesting impact n their lives. This is why it is so important to do everything that you can to help them overcome their addiction.

Learn what you can about addition

Addition, or substance abuse, is a broad category. It can include prescription medications, alcohol, and illicit street drugs. Each one of these can have its own impact on your teen’s mental and physical health. You can help by educating yourself about their specific addiction, which will help you understand more about this addition’s recovery process. This will help you to be prepared in terms of what to expect in regards to their recovery process in the weeks, months, and years ahead.

Do not let your teenager be in charge

Teens can be manipulative and headstrong and try to convince you that they should leave teen drug rehab early. They may tell you that they have learned their lesson but if you do not comply and get them out early, they may vow not to speak to you again. You can expect all types of tactics that can include threats, crying, begging, and cold silences. Listen to your teen and tell that you love them and that you placed them in a teen drug rehab center to save their life.

Be active in therapy

Generally, during their stay they will have family therapy so make it a top priority to participate actively in these sessions. Make it a top priority and attend all sessions. In these therapy sessions you will learn how to work your teen and not against your teen so you can help them have the best chance for a successful recovery.

When discharged, have a plan

Substance abuse is a chronic condition and treatment in a teen drug rehab is just the first part of the recovery process. Work with the drug rehab center to create a plan entry back into the real world. Before discharge make sure that they know the house rules clearly, which can include stricter curfews, expectations in regards to behavior and school, scheduled chores and the consequences if not followed.

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Source by Lora Davis

Views: 0

July 23, 2022
How to Generate Small MLM Business Success

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Success doesn't come to those who wait, it comes from hard work. There are key steps in a MLM business that one can take to make the work easier. There are no fool proof methods, only experience and experimentation can help in the end. The tools offered here may help some business owners achieve results. But, as with any tool, it can only be used as a general foundation that should be built upon. Even a house needs a little work or remodeling as the family grows or shrinks from like. Don't let one or two failures determine the future of the business. Learn and adapt from the situations. Two main points today include audience targeting and technology implementation will be discussed.

Get your MLM business audience to engage
The biggest key to your MLM business success is to get your audience to engage with your marketing. By engaging with your marketing, they are showing interest in the topics that you have researched and developed based on the "prospects" needs. Sounds problematic and it is, but take a look at why you joined the company and you can see a pattern from your steps. People around the world are facing similar issues, take dive into social media and do some research to see what other MLM business owners are talking about. Ask questions, post polls, get feedback before you launch a major campaign.

Your MLM business will do better if you have done the leg work first. Your chances of success will nearly double if you have done your research and developed material that helps by providing extreme value. Such formats can be presented in a way that is appealing without sacrificing quality of your message. Make sure that you include a call for action at the end of your informational message. This will help guide those who are interested in learning more about your business.

Using Technology to build MLM business success
Technology in most aspects can enable you to achieve MLM business success. Every piece of software and hardware may present advantages for your business. There are also limitations to such tools, such as costs and parameters that may not be beneficial for your business. Engage with your audience through these tools, share your messages and go for short term achievements, as you work towards a greater level of independence. Short content that talks to your audience will do better than content that shouts at them.

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Source by David L. Feinstein

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
Why You Must Not Marry

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People have gotten into marriage for the wrong reasons and mind set, they cloud their mind with superficial reasons leaving the important issues why they should not marry in the first place untouched. Below are ten reasons why you must not marry. please read along and be blessed.

1. You must not marry out of lust. People have married out of lust but later found out that all that glitters is not gold. The beauty or ugliness of people is not to be measured from without but from what issues from the inside of them. The content of an individual is to be weighed above his or her container.

2. You must not marry out of sympathy or pity. Feeling guilty or sympathy for any reason about someone’s misfortunes and deciding to marry them as a consolation is a wrong decision. For every Jack there is a Jill. God is able to give them a help that meet their situation. He gives a guide to the blind, a nurse to the feeble and a comforter to the heart broken.

3. Do not be manipulated through match making. Nobody knows you like your God and his timing and choice is best for you. He knows your temperaments, strength and weakness. God know the help whom He had created to meet your specification. Indeed nobody knows the product like the manufacturer. God must be involved in the choice we make.

4. You must not be pressurized to marry. Pressure comes from peers and family. Non in this group can absolutely quantify the pain and heart breaks their loved ones experience in marriage, they can only imagine. Imaginations are not good enough to right wrongs in a bad relationship. When the problems become overwhelming they will abandon you.

5. Do not be prophesied into marriage. Any prophecy is subject to your confirmation. You are not responsible for what God had not told you. God is not a respecter of any man. He is able to tell you what He told someone about you. Learn to hear God yourself.

6. You must not rush into marriage. Give it some time. Time reveals secrets, time is a healer of wounds, and time will reassure you of your decision.

7. You are not convinced. Marriage is a journey of a life time. You need to be convinced beyond all doubts that you are ready to go the mile. To save your self the heartache, you must take into cognizance that a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. Take time to do your checks and be convinced.

8. He or she doesn’t respect you. By respect I also mean not valuing your self worth. A relationship like that has a tendency of abuse and violation of your rights, privileges and that of your relatives. You have no business with someone whom you cannot respect or does not respect you.

9. He or she does not share your religious beliefs. Your religious believe is the center and the pivot that your entire life revolves around. Agreeing to marry some persons with a divergent view is seeking calmness in a chaotic atmosphere. Two people cannot walk together except they agree on core issues like their faith and believes.

10. Identity issues. We are identified by our looks, vocation, character and associations. You must be able to have the foresight of looking into the future to see if you will want to be identified with this person in years to come. Marriage gives you identity because the two of you becomes one.

I am sure these will serve as a check list for someone out there that is getting into a relationship or is planning to take his or her relationship to the next level (marriage). Do the check list and let God give you the peace.

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Source by Dan Williams

Views: 0

July 21, 2022
Why Ringless Voicemail Is a Preferred Choice for Every Marketer
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With the advancements in different innovative technologies, the growth of the telecommunication sector has also been getting advanced tremendously. Ringless Voicemail Drops has now become the most reliable, flexible and non-intrusive technology which allows the marketers and agents to notify their clients about promotional messages or reminders.

Without the need to call them directly and disturbing their daily activities, the voicemail drop service always makes it possible for the marketers to record their customized prerecorded voice message on their mobile phones.

Here are four important reasons that make the technology a preferred choice for everyone;
1. Non-aggravating technology:
The purpose of voicemail drop solutions is not to disturb the recipient of your message in any way, especially during busy hours. There would be no noisy ringtone or an accidental call if you are busy with family or attending a business meeting.

Without even making the call to your user, the technology helps you send the voice messages directly to their voicemail box. The marketers and agents would be notified when the message will be delivered. This service is much flexible to both the users and the agents.
1. Highly appreciated response rate:
The technology is basically considered as the easily operable among other communication methods. It frequently shows a great increment in the responsiveness as there are almost 95% people who constantly listen to the voicemail, and this usually quite higher than answering a call.

This expected increased can usually reach up to 96% within 24 hours. There are different activities that are bound to occur and enhancing your business opportunities. According to the surveys in the US, there are more than 556 million cell phones which have been using currently, so this voicemail drop would have a massive demographic and targeted population.
1. Cost-effective solutions:
Implementation of ringless voicemail solutions is much affordable and marketers are required to pay for successful drops only. If the message has been ignored by the user, then there would be no extra costs charged. Rates can even go as low as 8.5 cents for a single message delivered, and the subscriber would never be charged; so you won't have to deal with the complaining customers related to any issue.

Furthermore, with these low prices, the length of your recorded voicemail would not be limited. You can simply leave the message regardless of its length without any additional costs since the charges would be according to per message and not minute.
1. Carries much extensive capacity:
Ringless voicemail solutions are not only user-friendly and inexpensive, but they can be frequently used to reach the maximum number of people. In just a one hour duration, hundreds even thousands of voice messages will be dropped into the user's voicemail box. There are many companies that have more than 70,000 ports which are specialized enough to support high campaign volume.

This single platform is efficient enough to host numerous actions that include Ringless voicemail, IVR survey and voice broadcasting.

It's important to get the advantages of this advanced solution for enhanced business productivity.

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Source by Ambreen Sajjad

Views: 0
July 20, 2022
How to Prevent and Overcome Prenatal Alcohol and Drug Exposure

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Drug and alcohol abuse is one among the major challenges of an expecting mother. This usually has a lot of negative effects on the fetus during birth and can lead to other bigger problems in life.

To light up the issue associated with the use of drug and alcohol during pregnancy, a week has been launched to create awareness about this growing problem. Alcohol, drug, and pregnancy should not go together are the main scope of this event. Every year the Alcohol & Drug-Related Birth Defects awareness week starts on the 13th of May and will continue until the 19th. This awareness week targets mainly on the childbearing women whose age ranges from 15 years to 45 years.

It is not fair for an innocent soul to be punished because of its mother's poor decision. More babies could be prevented if their mothers are not indulged in drug and alcohol abuse. When mothers take proper care during their pregnancy, some problems, namely: low birth weight, the improper diameter of the head, age-related developments, epilepsy can be avoided.

Only some women will intake alcohol even after knowing about their pregnancy, whereas many are unaware that they are pregnant until their 4th to 6th week and consumption of these during that time might have already done enough damage to the fetus. Since all the women want to have a baby at some point in life, it is advice for mothers to quit using them if they are trying to get pregnant. Using any amount of drugs and alcohol is considered unsafe during pregnancy.

How to overcome prenatal alcohol and drug exposure

It is a must for everyone to attend the events related to this week to educate yourself and your family members know about the seriousness of it. Listed below are some ways to overcome the prenatal and drug exposure:

Join hands with your community members, nearby hospitals to create an awareness event. Seek attention from the wide range of audience by choosing the most attractive giveaway items. Some of them include caps, pocket pins, finger rings, wristbands. The interesting thing about choosing them is, they can be customized with personalized messages about the event.

Design posters, banners, templates related to the event and distribute it for free. Make use of the social media websites and popularize the events. Ideas include creating chat groups on Facebook, hashtags in Twitter and posting pictures related to the event on Instagram.

To be precise avoid drugs if you are wanting to get pregnant, that's the only way you can protect your child from the havoc caused by the usage of drugs. Since, it is easier for others to comment about the use of alcohol, for the sufferer, it is not really easy to come out of it. Speak with your healthcare professional and look after the ways to refrain yourself from using it. Also, you can find many counseling centers in and around your community to help people deal with such problems. Ideas discussed here are not based on the opinions or suggestions from a medical practitioner. Please check with your healthcare provider to get more information about this serious issue.

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Source by Billie Jean Bateson

Views: 0

July 20, 2022
How to Organize Your Medicine Cabinet

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Just like your own closet, medicine cabinets can be quite a mess sometimes, especially if you have lots of medicines stored.

These days, with the pharmaceutical industry booming, you can find a wide variety of medicines sold for different health conditions. Companies competing against one another while consumers are on the go for searching the best medicine brand to buy other there for their health problem.

You may be one of those people out there who is facing a dilemma when it comes to organizing medicines properly in the medicine cabinet. At times, when you have lots of medicines already stored, it becomes harder to find the medicine you are looking for when necessary. This could be due to a lot of different factors, such as inappropriate labeling, expired medicines piled up, and so on and so forth.

Yet despite of that, there are still ways to make your medicine cabinet organize and neat again. There is no need to spend money or hire someone to do it for you. It is very easy and you can do it in an instant. The following are some of the tips you can consider to organize your medicine cabinet well:

Color Code

Why not apply color coding method when handling your medicines? If there’s a lot in the family who is taking medicines, then try to classify each one of them according to color. You may want brands to be grouped separately or put a color on each medicine to separate them according to date and time of administration. It totally depends on you. You are the best person who knows how to color code your medicines best.

Medicine containers

A medicine cabinet can become so messy at times, especially if all the medicines aren’t placed well in separate containers.

You may want to organize your medicines according to their form by placing them in different containers. For example, all tablets will be placed in a different container and same goes with liquid medicines.

This way, it would be easier to find and pull out a medicine you need at the moment because you already know where you placed it.

These days, you can find various types of medicine containers available for sale. You can buy them in the department store or at your local drug store. You can do a DIY too if you like.

Label each container

Even though you place all your medicines in separate containers, it would still be hard to search for each if they are not labeled properly.

Don’t forget to label each container according to the categories you have made. Label each container correctly and clearly.

Labeling containers does not have to be hard and complicated. Just cut a small piece of paper, just appropriate to the size of the container, and then stick it on the front, then mark it with a pen. You can even be as creative as you would like and put some colors, stickers, and some cute decorations on the container or label to add more beauty to the space.

Clean your medicine cabinet

Make sure to clean your medicine cabinet every so often. You need to constantly check for expired or damaged medicines and throw them away right away. Of course, you also need to dispose each expired medicine properly according to the disposal instruction written on the label.

By cleaning your medicine cabinet, you need to wipe out dirt and dust. This will ensure that all your medicines remain to be in good condition.

Honestly, cleaning your medicine cabinet every so often would pose more benefits because doing so will prevent your cabinet from smelling bad, especially with expired medicines that not thrown away. Aside from that, this will keep the potency of your usable medicines.

Have enough space

While it is important to make use of the storage spaces available in your medicine cabinet, occupying the entire space without enough room for your hands to move inside would really be bothersome.

Make your medicine cabinet tidy and well organized by not stocking too many items inside, especially those that do not belong to this type of storage space. Even the way you place the containers should be taken into consideration so that they will not all look jumbled up.

If you think organizing your medicine cabinet is hard, you need to think again. Follow these simple tips and you would surely not regret it.

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Source by George Patt

Views: 0

July 20, 2022
I Miss My Separated Husband And Fear That He’s Never Coming Back

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There are certain times in your life where it’s very easy to dread the worst case scenario. Even if you are a natural optimist, when you are faced with the reality that you dread and fear the most, you tend to allow your mind to go to unfortunate places and you almost expect the worst to happen to you.

This is very common. Unfortunately though, your sense of dread can cause you to make desperate moves that you would not normally make, so that your worst case scenario actually becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It’s extremely normal to expect the worst during a separation. For example, a wife might say: “my husband and I have been separated for almost six months. If you would have told me at the beginning of the separation that things would be this bad, I would not have believed you. But they are pretty darn bad. When my husband left home and declared us separated, he made it sound like it would hopefully only be a temporary thing. I don’t know if this was really his intention or if he just did this for my benefit. But the separation has been anything but temporary. My husband never calls. I ask mutual friends if he asks about me and they have to admit that he does not. He acts like I am an annoyance to him. When we first separated, I figured that he would be back in less than three months time. I never in my wildest dreams thought that this much time would go by. And I have to be honest. I now think that he is never coming back. And I miss him so much. I am generally an upbeat person, but this has brought me down so badly. It is all I can think about. In the beginning of our separation, I tried to reach out to my husband all of the time, but he was not receptive to me. I still try, but not as often because the rejection is very hard to take. Some of my friends and family tell me that I need to just accept that he is never coming back and I guess that they are right. But this is a very sad reality for me to face and I’m finding it affecting me much more than I thought it would. How do you face the reality that the separated husband you miss so much is probably never coming back?”

I am probably not the best person to ask as, despite all evidence to the contrary, I never really accepted that my husband wasn’t coming back. But things did get so bad that at one point, it became clear that I needed to live my life. I never gave up on my husband or my marriage. And I figured that if we were going to divorce, then he would need to be the one to pursue it. I left that alone and I tried to live my life as best as I could. I forced myself to stay busy so that I would stop continuously bothering my husband and being rebuffed. I traveled a lot so that the distance made it almost impossible for me to continue on with this cycle.

Ironically, once I forced this shift on myself, my husband became receptive again. But I like to think that I would have carried on regardless. It is true that you can not control what your husband is ultimately going to do. But you do have control over what YOU are going to do. Focusing on the negative while standing still in your own life, (while absolutely understandable,) is not the best course of action. It took me far too long to learn this.

You deserve better than just treading water. As hard as it is to see at the time, your marriage is just one aspect of your life. You have many others. Sure, no one willingly wants to put their marriage on hold. But when you have no choice in this, it is best not to put yourself dead last on your priority list. Because in that sense, you are suffering twice. You are suffering because of what is happening with your marriage. But you are also suffering as an individual because you are basically standing still – just waiting for something that is not completely within your control.

Sure, you can certainly paint yourself in the best light, work on yourself, address your marital issues, and take advantage of any interaction with your spouse. (These things all help tremendously and may make it so that he might eventually come back.) But you can’t control what he thinks or does. So the best course of action is to do what you can and then to focus on moving yourself forward. Doing this doesn’t mean that you have to accept that your husband is never coming back – I certainly didn’t. But it does mean that you’ve made a conscious decision to not solely focus on the negative and to prioritize yourself enough to continue to live your life — rather than putting it off and seeing it through the negative lens that the separation has brought about.

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Source by Leslie Cane

Views: 0

July 20, 2022
How Can a Relationship Coach Help Me?
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A number of benefits are available from participating in guidance from a Relationship Coach. Professionals such as these can provide support, problem-solving skills, and enhanced coping strategies for issues such as depression, anxiety, relationship troubles, unresolved childhood issues, grief, stress management, body image issues and creative blocks. Many people also find that coaches can be a tremendous asset to managing personal growth, interpersonal relationships, family concerns, marriage issues, and the hassles of daily life. Coaches can provide a fresh perspective on a difficult problem or point you in the direction of a solution. The benefits you obtain from personal guidance depend on how well you use the process and put into practice what you learn.

SOME OF THE BENEFITS AVAILABLE FROM RELATIONSHIP COACHING
- Attaining a better understanding of yourself, your goals and values
- Developing skills for improving your relationships
- Finding resolution to the issues or concerns that led you to seek therapy
- Learning new ways to cope with stress and anxiety
- Managing anger, grief, depression, and other emotional pressures
- Improving communications and listening skills
- Changing old behavior patterns and developing new ones
- Discovering new ways to solve problems in your family or marriage
- Improving your self-esteem and boosting self-confidence
DO I REALLY NEED COACHING? I CAN USUALLY HANDLE MY PROBLEMS.

Everyone goes through challenging situations in life, and while you may have successfully navigated through other difficulties you’ve faced, there’s nothing wrong with seeking out extra support when you need it. In fact, coaching is for people who have enough self-awareness to realize they need a helping hand, and that is something to be admired. You are taking responsibility by accepting where you’re at in life and making a commitment to change the situation by seeking coaching. Coaching provides long-lasting benefits and support, giving you the tools you need to avoid triggers, re-direct damaging patterns, and overcome whatever challenges you face.

WHY DO PEOPLE SEEK OUT COACHING AND HOW DO I KNOW IF IT IS RIGHT FOR ME?

People have many different motivations for coming to others for coaching. Some may be going through a major life transition (unemployment, divorce, new job, etc.), or are not handling stressful circumstances well. Some people need assistance managing a range of other issues such as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, addictions, relationship problems, spiritual conflicts and creative blocks. Coaching can help provide some much needed encouragement and help with skills to get them through these periods. Others may be at a point where they are ready to learn more about themselves or want to be more effective with their goals in life. In short, people seeking coaching are ready to meet the challenges in their lives and ready to make changes in their lives.

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Source by Roxanna Teeling

Views: 0
July 20, 2022