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Tag: Emotions

Importance of Evidence-Based Complementary Medicine
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The modern-day world has many challenges and thus good health is one of the greatest blessings in today’s era. For example, a rich man with a bad health will always be unsatisfied and unhappy! “Health is Wealth”. Improving your health is an opportunity that shouldn’t be missed. It is a fact that your health affects all the aspects of your life, be it professional, or personal. Probably that is the reason why evidence-based complementary and alternative medicine came into existence!

With increasing number of health-related apps and journals on the internet, you can now easily move towards a healthier lifestyle. Even the experts of medicine have admitted that the advice and products of work best when supplemented with a doctor’s standard care and supervision.

As the famous proverb suggests, “Prevention is better than cure” and evidence-based complementary and alternative medicine helps you achieve this goal. So, here are a few benefits that you might get if you follow an integrative healthcare protocol:
- It helps you in receiving specific treatment plans as per your physical requirements. As each individual has a unique body, it is not advisable to subscribe to a generalized treatment protocol. An effective biotyping assessment studies your inherited traits such as body frame, personality type, digestive capacity, metabolic activity, nutrigenomics, as well as environmental factors. In this way, it provides you with a personalized holistic Integrative healthcare medicine advice.
- It aims at examining and treating all the aspects of physical as well as emotional components. It is proven that daily stress negatively affects your emotions, biology and genetics. All this further results in greater risks of several chronic diseases such as cancer and heart disease!
- It offers a wide range of Natural Cure and Remedies so that you are not completely dependent on pharmaceuticals, many of which have side-effects. The food that you eat is one of the biggest reasons behind your healthy (or unhealthy) life! Following unhealthy food habits can result in an increase in the risk of heart conditions, high blood sugar, obesity, etc. So, what could be better than utilizing food as a medicine?
- It focuses on the prevention of diseases before it even occurs. While conventional medicines are prescribed for a lifetime for chronic disease, alternative medicine examines the root causes of the disease. It also encourages the patients to focus on preventing a disease by eating healthy foods, exercise, meditation, etc.
So, if you also wish to treat or prevent any disease with Natural Cure and Remedies, evidence-based complementary medicine is the key! After all, it’s never too late for improving your health.

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Source by Luke Harper

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July 28, 2022
How Does ENERGY HEALING Help You Feel Better, Relieve Pain, and Assist Humans and Animals to Heal?
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We all live in overlapping fields of energies. These fields includes your physical body, your auric field (which consists of 6 additional bodies), electromagnetic fields that emanate from your organs and other body parts, and the energies of everyone and everything around us, including the earth.

Since everything is energy, including your consciousness, you might wonder how healing can ever happen without paying attention to the energy aspects of your bodies.

What Is Energy Healing?

Energy Healing is any healing method which helps restore and maintain the energy systems of your bodies by working directly with the energy of your bodies.

The term “energy healing” is used today for what has also been called “hands-on healing”, “spiritual healing”, “psychic healing”, and even “energy medicine.”

In energy healing, a wide variety of techniques can be used. Whatever techniques are used, they directly address the energetic levels of your bodies.

While tools such as stones and crystals, acupuncture needles, pendulums, singing bowls, and others can be part of a healing session, many practitioners use only their hands and their intention to facilitate a healing.

Clean, pure, love-filled energy (life force, prana, chi, ki) is made available to the bodies, while inappropriate energies are assisted to leave the bodies.

To be healthy and in balance, your energy must be able to flow freely, smoothly, and harmoniously.

What Can Disrupt the Energy of Your Bodies

Infection, injury, toxins, stress, too much or too little of any substance are all examples of events than can disrupt your bodies’ energies.

When you’re sick, it’s because the flow of energies has been disrupted, causing some areas to be jammed up with too much energy while others areas are depleted. The disruption can come from accidents, infections, emotional traumas, and many other stressful situations.

Several things can happen during an energy healing session to restore the smooth flow of energies. Here are some common examples.
- Disorganized and chaotic energy patterns become organized and harmonious.
- Blocked energy flows are unblocked.
- Sluggish energy flows are restored to normal speed.
- Depleted energy areas are assisted to regain a normal, healthy level of energy.
- Excesses of certain types of energy are reduced to normal.
- Disconnections between the spirit and body parts are reconnected.
- Communication breakdowns between body parts are restored.
- Energy that doesn’t belong is helped to leave the body.
- Repair the physical body’s etheric blueprint (template).
- Repair, balance, and harmonize the chakras.
Some examples of energies helped to leave are:
- viruses, fungus, bacteria.
- memory patterns of old injuries.
- memory patterns of weapons from this or past lives.
- emotions that haven’t been fully expressed.
These are just a few examples of what energy healing can address.

What Do Energy Healers Do?

Energy Facilitators support the body’s natural healing abilities.

Energy Healers facilitate the healing process, which is done by the bodies themselves. An Energy Healer is more accurately described as an Energy Facilitator. They do not actually heal the body. The body must heal itself.

The body, when functioning optimally, knows how to heal itself and how to restore balance. It wants to be in balance and harmony and good health.

What Are Some Benefits of Energy Healing?

Here are some of the benefits you may experience:
- Relief from physical/emotional pain and other symptoms.
- Feeling increased relaxation and calm.
- A reduction in your stress level.
- Feeling empowered to take charge of your healing process.
- A sense that your physical body is stronger or more able to cope with life’s challenges.
- A sense of well-being, comfort, integration, and wholeness.
- Feeling more at home in your body.
- Feeling more energized and more playful.
- Feeling more balanced and more grounded.
- Improved appetite; greater control over unwanted habits.
- Increased interest in life.
- Increased immune system function.
- Faster or more complete healing from illness, injuries, or surgery.
- A feeling of greater alignment with your I Am Presence.
- An opening to receive more Divine Love.
- A sense of greater connections with the Divine or with your I Am Presence.
- A feeling of greater alignment with your spiritual path.
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Source by Nedda Wittels

Views: 0
July 27, 2022
The Success Story of Beethoven

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Beethoven was born on 16th, December, 1770 in Bonn of Germany. His father was a singer in local palace choir. Beethoven’s father was a very common person and he was addicted to gambling. However, his mother was a fairly kind-hearted and gentle female.She married an assistant as her first marriage and married to Beethoven’s father when her ex-husband died.

Beethoven didn’t have access to go to school for the reason that his family was very poor. Nevertheless, he had a special feeling of music when he was very young.His father wanted to make use of his potential to make a big fortune. As a result, Beethoven had to practice playing clavecin and violin day and night under his father’s pressure.

Beethoven had a performance on a stage for the first time when he was only seven years old and he made a huge success.Some famous musicians considered him as the second Mozart. Beethoven learned how to compose music from Nifo and published his first work named Concerto in A minor when he was 11. He went to Vienna to learn how to compose music from Mozart and Haydn.

It seems that he would have a fairly bright future when Beethoven received the first success in 1800. Nevertheless, he was troubled with a terrible matter for years at that time.He found that he has became a deaf person. There couldn’t be anything more terrible than that for a musician. He sank into a blue mood for a long time as a consequence.

Beethoven has an enthusiastic heart all the time.But his enthusiasm was often unfortunate. He often tolerated both hope and enthusiasm,disappointment and resistance. There was no doubt that all of these emotions had become his unique source of creation. He fell in love with Julia in 1801 and composed a music named Moonlight for her specifically. To his disappointed, she couldn’t understand his noble soul and refused him. Beethoven was upset and despairing for that and married a comte before long. It was the most hopeless moment for him and once a time, he wrote down a paper of posthumous papers.

He came to life in 1803 and composed some bright and warm music such as The Second Symphonies. From then on, several more beautiful and marvelous music were produced. Some of them are fairly famous and I think you must have heard about them such as The Eroica and The Storm.

Beethoven finished his masterpiece named The Ninth Symphonies in 1823. This piece of work expressed his world in his dream.

He suffered from pulmonary edema in Dec.1826, which was resulted from a bad influenza.He passed away on 26th, March, 1827 for the reason of suffering from hepatopathy.

It is said that the day on which Beethoven died was raining heavily and storming seriously. It seems that even the God grieved over his death.

Beethoven’s funeral was fairly solemn and grand.It is estimated that over 20 thousand people presented his funeral.

Beethoven’s wealth and success in music was huge and great. There are few people who can surpass his competence in music creation. He is a great musician for us and we shall miss him forever and appreciate his works.

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Source by Linda Ding

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Gender Wars: Has The Time Come For Men And Women To Heal Their Emotional Wounds?

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When it comes to the mainstream culture, it is not uncommon for men to be put down and to be seen as the bane of the earth. This doesn't mean that women are not also seen as the problem, but this could be seen as something that takes place underground, to speak.
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So, while there are plenty of newspapers and TV stations that are only too happy to paint all men as being a certain way; there are also plenty of websites and videos online that are happy to paint all women as being a certain way. It could then be said that it is socially acceptable to put men down but the same can't be said when it comes to putting women down, which is why this has to be done in a more covert manner.

Plenty of Fuel

It seems that not a day goes by when there isn't something in the mainstream media that doesn't add to the view that men are worthless human beings. Sometimes, something small will be used to prove this, while at others, it will be something that is far bigger.

For example, when a woman in the public eye claims that she has been harassed by a man, not a lot of thought is given as to whether or not this actually took place. There are at least two reasons for this: firstly, women are often portrayed as innocent and pure and, secondly, all men are often portrayed as primitive beings that can't control their urges.

The Accepted Narrative

Thus, regardless of whether or not a man is actually guilty, he is going to be used to support the view that all men are the same. Clearly, if a man is found to be guilty the appropriate action should be taken, but, without the evidence that he has done anything wrong, it shouldn't be assumed that he has done anything wrong.

The people in the media who support this view of men don't seem to care about the damage that something like this could do to an innocent man's life. It's as though a man deserves to have his whole life ruined, irrespective of if he has done anything wrong.

Validation

And, if a woman believes that are men are the same, it is going to be music to her ears to hear the mainstream media talk about men in this way. A woman like this may have been in a number of abusive relationships, for instance.

Seeing a man go from a position of power to being destroyed is then going to be extremely satisfying. She probably won't have met this man, but seeing him go down will allow her to indirectly experience revenge.

The Other Side

When it comes to what is taking place away from the mainstream media, there is plenty of content that basically goes into how worthless women are. One of the main themes is that women can't be trusted and that if they find another guy who has more money / status, they will soon disappear.

And, if a man has been in a relationship where the woman walked away or if he has found it hard to experience fulfilment in this area of his life, for instance, he can be only too happy to hear other men say that women are useless and good for one thing. It will be as though they are enslaved to their biology, are heartless, and are not consciousness beings, unlike men who are in control of their urges, have a heart, and are aware.

Letting of Steam

Due to what a man has been through he will no doubt carry a lot of anger, anger that is likely to allow him to avoid feeling powerless and helpless, for instance. The experiences what he reads about online will end up enforcing what he already believes.

This is then likely to create even more distance between him and women and make it even harder for him to experience fulfilment in this area of his life. Even so, what this will do is allow him to be right, and this is one of the ego minds greatest needs – being wrong is seen as something that will lead to death.

A Messy Situation

There are then women who hate all men and men who hate all women, along with men who hate themselves and pedestalize women and women who hate themselves and pedestalize men. Therefore, even though it is not possible to say that it is only men who are under attack, it is undoubtedly more socially acceptable to attack men.

If someone believes that all men / women are the same and is happy to see a man / woman suffer, it is likely to show that they are carrying a number of emotional wounds. If they were able to get in touch what how they feel below their anger and rage, they may find that they feel rejected, powerless, helpless and worthless, amongst other things.

A Reactive Existence

Being in touch with these feelings is then likely to cause them to feel incredibly vulnerable; whereas being in touch with the more surface level emotions (such as anger and rage) is likely to allow them to feel strong and powerful. But, while living in this way can allow them to feel strong and powerful, it is going to cause them to be controlled by how they feel.

Not only this, it will stop them from being able to realize that not all men / women are the same and to see them as individuals. What they believe will define how they experience life, thereby stopping them from being able to experience anything that goes against what they believe.

A Deeper Look

When it comes to the emotional wounds that someone can carry, what has happened in their adult life is certainly going to play a part. Yet, what is likely to play an even bigger part is what took place during their early years, and what has been passed down from their ancestors can also play a part.

What took place during their early years that can be what is defining how they perceive men / women and the kind of men / women women they will be attracted to and attract. If someone had a father or mother who was abusive, for instance, it would have most likely caused them to experience a lot of trauma, and, it would have laid down the foundations for them to be drawn to men / women who would also abuse them.

Two Levels

How they were treated at this stage of their life would have become familiar, and what is familiar is what is classed as safe to the ego mind / unconscious mind. The years would then have passed but they are still going to carrying the trauma of being violated and abused.

It is then not going to matter what their conscious mind wants to experience, as their unconscious mind will want to experience what took place all those years ago. The trouble is that if someone is not aware of how their early years are affecting their adult life, it will be normal for them to feel like a victim and to blame all men / women.

Self-Victimization

If going within and working through emotional wounds was easy, it would be a part of everyone's life One of the biggest challenges to doing this type of work is that the mind disconnects from the body to avoid pain, which can result in someone's inner wounds being projected onto others.

The people who they come into contact with will then press their buttons, so to speak, but they won't be able to see that these people are mirroring back what they need to resolve within their own being. Without this understanding, they can end up seeing themselves as a victim and other people as perpetrators.

Conclusion

If someone wants to grow and develop and no longer wants to feed into this drama, they may need to reach out for external support. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance, they will be able to gradually work through their emotional wounds.

But, if someone is caught up on their own stuff due to their current level of consciousness, there will be no reason for them to change. As a result of this, they will continue to live a reactive life and to play out their early drama.

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Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Dating: Is It A Bad Idea To Have Sex On The First Date?

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Many, many years ago, sex was something that people would typically have if they wanted children. Nowadays, it is something that lot of people have if they want to experience pleasure.

In the past, then, it was generally seen as having one purpose and in the present, it is generally seen as having another. Now, while there were people in the past who did have sex for other reasons, there is no denying how different it is today.

Separated

If it wasn’t for the contraceptive pill, it is highly unlikely that sex would be seen in the same way as it is often seen today. Naturally, this has lowered the risk of a woman getting pregnant, thereby making it possible for her to have sex without needing to worry about what will happen after.

Along with this, a man can use a condom to stop his sperm from causing any problems. So, in the same way that someone might have a piece of chocolate to experience pleasure, they can also have sex to achieve the same outcome.

It’s Just Sex

Unlike most of their ancestors, this could be the only thing they know. Therefore, if they were to hear about how, in the past, people typically had sex to procreate, they may find it amusing.

In their eyes, sex could be seen as something that is there to be enjoyed; only having it to create a child is not going make any sense. And, as sex is something that can be extremely enjoyable, why would anyone only want to have it in order to procreate?

An Easy Decision

If someone has this view when it comes to sex, they may have no trouble sleeping with another person on the first date. This could be seen as a way for them to find out if they are sexually compatible.

Sex will be such an important part of their life that they won’t want to be with someone who doesn’t do it for them in the bedroom. In addition to this, they could believe that this will allow them to get to know them better.

Nothing to Lose

The alternative would be for them to wait a little while, only to find out that they are not sexually compatible. After having been with them for a while, it could be a lot harder for them to move on.

One would then have wasted a fair amount of time, time that they would have saved if they got down to business straight away. It would have also taken them a lot longer to find out about things that they might have found out about in a night.

The Only Option

Taking this into account, someone would be old fashioned or even a prude if they chose to behave differently. It would be in their best interest to ‘liberate’ themselves and to just go for it on the first date.

This might go against what they currently stand for, but they will soon realise that it is the right thing to do. When this happens, one will no longer be allowing an outdated inner model to run this area of their life.

Back To Reality

However, although this might seem like the best approach to take, it doesn’t mean that this is the case. One of the big problems with having sex more or less straight away is that it can cloud one’s judgment.

If human beings didn’t have an emotional self and only had a mental and the physical self, it wouldn’t matter. Their emotions wouldn’t be there to effect their judgment, allowing them to think clearly afterwards.

Numb

If someone can have sex straight away and not be affected by it, it could simply show that they are emotionally shut down. Having sex with someone straight away is not going to affect them, but as if they are out of touch with their emotions, it is unlikely that they would be able to have a real relationship anyway.

This could then explain why someone like this would put such a big emphasis on sex; the other part of their being, their heart, is not going to be open. A lot of their energy will be stuck in their genitals as it won’t be able to reach their chest area.

Many Elements

Sex is undoubtedly an important part of a relationship, yet there are a number of other things that are just as important. It will be vital for one to find out if they actually have anything in common with someone and to find out if their values match up.

As there are many parts to their own being, they will need to be with someone who has a being that matches up with these parts. This will be what allows the relationship to last once the early sparks have settled down.

The Easy Option

Getting naked and having sex with someone may seem like a great way get to know who they really are, but this may be a time when they are still hiding their true self. Ultimately, it is one thing for someone to reveal their body; it is another thing altogether for them to reveal who they actually are.

If one thinks that getting naked with someone means that they are getting intimate with them, this is not going to cross their mind. What will also make it harder for them to realise this is if they have come to equate sex with love.

Awareness

This is then not about whether or not having sex on a first date is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, it is about looking at the consequences of behaving in this way. Having sex on a first date could lead to a fulfilling relationship; then again, it could cause one to end up with someone who is not right for them.

Their emotions and hormones will be all over the place, making it just about impossible for them have a balanced outlook. Their thinking will be off and their view of the other person will also be off.

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Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Emotional Labour – Organisational Behaviour

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Abstract:

Putting on a good show, keeping face, professionalism in customer treatment can all be examples of emotional labour. When in the workplace dealing with others whether they be colleagues or customers we tend to give a positive emotional response despite the negativity of the other person (customer complaint) or our own current mood state (sadness, irritability) known as emotional dissonance. In this paper we will explore the phenomenon of emotional labour and its effect on workers productivity and social relations. The general outcome being that the strain of that dissonance creates mental health problems in the workplace.

Introduction:

Emotional labour can be seen as the affect of the current mood of a worker whilst engaging in interactions with others – putting on a good face for example despite feeling emotionally uncomfortable. (1. Robins/Judge 2013) These emotions can be driven by organisational expectations of an employees behaviour towards customers, clients and co-workers in support of the business goals to profit. For example in the service industry, customer complaints should be handled with a polite professional smiling attitude so that the customer perceives that their complaints are receiving serious attention. Despite the fact the service provider (customer relations officer) maybe be in a personal bad mood, have life problems or employment concerns – all this is swept aside to provide the company’s public positive image to the customer. For the employee engaged in such activities the strain of appearing positive and enthusiastic may cause both physical and emotional strain often leading to further deterioration in mood after work and in between assignments. You could argue that a good deal of the time we are in fact faking our emotions (feelings) in front of and towards others to support social conventions for example being polite. If a customer’s complaint is unreasonable, they are showing anger, accusing the company or misleading them and selling shoddy products – the company service support worker must maintain control over their own emotions despite feeling that the customer is wrong and the complaint is unwarranted or even ridiculous they still have to maintain the company driven reaction to the customer with calm professionalism. (2. Myler – Case Studies 2018) Some companies make being happy at work almost mandatory – where staff entertain, create an atmosphere or encourage excitement over the product and its associated feelings of happiness. For example, theme park staff forced to smile all day – try it yourself – it is very stressful to keep a happy demeanor in the face of disgruntled visitors waiting hours in a queue for a five minute ride or the phone shop worker being asked to entertain the queue of waiting customers with hi-fives and silly games. (3. Grandey et.al. 2010) Many customers in fact reporting discomfort at being targeted for unwanted attention and interaction). Therefore there is a difference between felt emotions (what I am actually thinking and feeling) than with displayed emotions (what is expected of me). After an interaction the employee can feel both exhausted by the forced situation and emotionally angry at faking their feelings for the benefit of others. Many people who suffer from depression report that faking happiness is the biggest strain of the day.

Culture and Emotional Labour

Culture may impact on how someone sees emotional labour as the expectations of others in the light of social comparison. (4. Matsumoto etal. 2009) For example many American service jobs, such as retail staff, service providers and customer interaction workers all feel that a positive upbeat smiling enthusiastic person is a definite requirement for the companies image management. The monocor – have a nice day – often rings false in the ears of those who understand this is not a genuine sentiment but a practiced social grace. In other cultures such as Japan or Asia in general – forced politeness or deference to not displaying emotions may in fact cause particular strain on everyday life where displaced emotion can be seen in acts of violence and sexual deviance. The French tend to not display openness in dealing with customers but in fact a non-smiling or even impolite attitudes towards their clients. This can cause companies dealing in global markets problems with staff in having to adapt and understand policy in line with the cultural underlying expectations of behaviour.

Mental Health

Many psychologists, counsellors and others such as nurses encounter patients (clients) who maybe presenting mental health problems such as anxiety (worry about future events) or depression (living with the past) that report difficulties in the work place in faking their emotions towards both colleagues and customers – that they feel the strain of the day at home later through irritability, sexual indifference a lack of appetite and sleep. Keeping up appearances at work therefore effects the very quality of our lives both in and out of the work place. (5. Myler Case Studies 2018) Dealing with difficult people whether customers or colleagues leaves us feeling exhausted physically and mentally. In therapy the psychologist maybe searching for psycho-dynamic reasons for the negative feelings from past patterns of behaviour and often miss the power of the here and now effect of faking your feelings at work simply due to enforced company policies that require us to present an image of well- being and happiness that actually is not there. Treatment therefore should focus on workplace stress rather than personal history.

Role Play & Emotional Labour:

Of course we are schooled from an early age in how to act given certain social situations, for example being happy at a birthday party ( don’t spoil it for everyone) to look sad at the funeral (even when we did not even like the deceased). We have learned behavior for situational displays of affect. Have you ever been told off – criticised – looked at the person with a smile on your face – and they say, “what are you smiling at?” they think you are not taking them seriously enough, acknowledging their concerns – the truth maybe that we think their remarks are unwarranted and silly – however our learned correct response is to – look serious and be intently listening – while all the time inside feeling what an idiot this person is! In other words we are often asked to fake it – for the sake of the other persons feelings – this is often seen as high empathy when in fact it is more often just a learned reaction to a situational event. Emotional intelligence is seen a as a panacea for management effectiveness but maybe little more than learned responses to situations, rather than a genuine cognitive response to some event. In other words emotional intelligence maybe more pop psychology than a fact. Measurement for emotional understanding may reflect no more about the learned response to given situations we have come to understand through cultural, generational and traditional customs of our community or group behaviour. Psychometric tests for emotional intelligence may in fact be invalid and not robust enough to provide any useful measure of a persons feelings towards others but in fact reflect that learned behaviour – what should be the response not what I actually feel inside.

Attributions Theory – Misunderstanding Others:

Attribution theory ( 6. Heider – 1958) suggests that we attend to what we see more than what we know. In other words – we do in fact judge a book by its cover. So if we are busy faking our emotions so must everyone else? So how do we know that the mood being displayed to us is genuine or faked. We pride ourselves on being able to know others feeling by their facial expressions, there seemingly genuineness and authentic sounding responses. In fact much of the time we maybe reacting to the faked emotion rather than the real one. We are often surprised to hear someone committed suicide – we may say – they always seemed so positive and happy looking – but that is exactly what a mis-attribution is – the lack of skills to identify a real emotion from a faked one – we are actually quite good at emotional labour at work and so do we really know what anyone is actually feeling, as opposed to what they are displaying to us. So the helpful shop assistant may in fact be bored rigid at having to seem enthusiastic about a product she has already spoken about ten times that day already.

In Summery:

Emotional labour is a situation where the employee expresses the companies desired response to a given situation. Emotional dissonance are our feeling of confusion between our internal feelings and the face we put upon the situation given company policy towards others. Felt emotions therefore being what we actually feel as opposed to displayed emotion being the faked response to another person. Finally emotional intelligence being no more than learned responses to events as we behave given the situation we find ourselves in. The consequences of faked emotions can be strain leading to emotional exhaustion that has both physical and emotional outcomes for mental health and general well-being. Judging others may in fact lead to mis-attributions where we think the faked emotion is in fact the real feelings of the other party.

To be honest, open and authentic would be real intimacy in our relationships but carries the high risk of rejection and misunderstandings.

References:

1. Robins S.P. Judge T.A. 2013 – Organizational Behavior 15Ed Pearson Publishing

2. Myler S.F. 2018 – Myler Case Studies 2018/19 Unpublished

3. Grandey A. et.al. 2010 – Work in the Global Services Economy – Journal of Service Management.

4. Matsumoto D. 2009 – Culture & Emotional Expression – New York, Taylor & Francis publishing.

5. Myler S. F. 2019 – Myler Case Studies 2019 Unpublished

6. Heider F 1958 – Attribution Theory – Oxford Dictionary of Psychology 2001

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Source by Stephen F. Myler

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Love As an Emotion

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I am now talking to the male part of any relationship because the male is normally the leader in any relationship. So, men, what will happen if your love for your wife or girlfriend relied on your emotions, or on your feelings? Today, you could cherish her, caress her, care for her, hug and kiss her. Tomorrow, you might feel totally different. You might slap her around a bit, shout and scream at her, ignore her, deride her. Because that is exactly what feelings are all about. Emotions play games on your feelings all the time. And the game changes every day, every minute. Think now of how confusing for the poor lady you have as a girlfriend or wife. She wants your attention, she says she loves you and has chosen you to be her mate, friend, and husband, whatever. But she is afraid of you because you are so much stronger as her, and she knows at any time you could burst into one of your tirades with disastrous consequences for her. Maybe a broken nose, a black eye, cracked ribs. Men who do this to any woman should be ashamed of themselves.

Real adult love is more than just a feeling. It means caring even when you do not feel like caring. It means spending time with your spouse when you prefer watching an important game on the telly. It also means nursing her when she feels ill and spending time with her when you prefer spending time with your friends. Love is taking responsibility for others and setting their needs and desires above yours. Love is also consistent with your feelings and it does not change every day. Love is not rude or harsh with your spouse, and respects her as the weaker member of your relationship.

I guess what I really want to say about being in a relationship where emotions and feelings is the basis of your relationship, and then you need to think long and hard about this. To rely on feelings is immature and stupidity, you just cannot rely on it. Do you really want to have a relationship with this woman? Tomorrow you might prefer spending time with your friends. Or for that matter, some other woman. So, if you decide no, I do not want to spend so much time with this woman, and then tell her that so that she could understand where she stands. She might feel hurt now, but in the end, she will at least know where she stands with you. And both of you could move on with your lives.

There are so many examples I can give on real love. But one thing I will say about this. Real love is taking responsibility of the opposite gender. Today you say you love her, but she will have the assurance that regardless of how you feel, tomorrow you would love just as much. Do not rely on your feelings of love for today, tomorrow it might be different.

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Source by Rodney Evan Bentley

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Am I Ordained To Marry?

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One common question people ask us during counseling is whether they are ordained to marry or not. Few weeks ago, a sister walked up to me to ask if she was ordained to marry or not. I asked why she thought so. She said, her pastor taught them that it is written in Matthew 19:12 that some people were made to be eunuchs and therefore, not everyone is expected to marry. And now she was worried because of the series of disappointments she had experienced in her relationships. When I asked her whether they were equally taught how to differentiate between both groups she said that was why she came to ask me. I said she should have gone to her pastor to ask but she said she would not because they were more interested in how many souls they had won to Christ than their marital plans.

Her vehement refusal to go to her pastor for counsel was a clear indication that she had gone through some elements of frustration. I don’t know how many people are in the same situation today. All I know is that someone will be free from this bondage today.

Before I address the core issue, let me tell you that Christianity is a balanced relationship. The same God that says he that wins a soul is wise also says marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral, (Hebrew 13:4 NIV). The practice of holding back mature adults in church from marriage because you don’t want to lose them to other churches or distract them from actively engaging in church growth is unbalanced and unhealthy for the growth you desire. Marriage is an honor before God. It brings glory to God. Anyone that desires to marry should be encouraged before they begin to defy themselves right under your pulpit.

My counsel is that while encouraging them to continue winning souls they should also be counseled on the right way to find the right kind of spouse and the right way to marry. Teach them to let their marriage become a plus to the church instead of minus. If you alone could chase one thousand souls, let you and your spouse join in marriage to chase after ten thousand souls.

Matthew 19:12 says: ” For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it let him receive it.”

The above scripture clearly defines the three categories of eunuchs. Our point of emphasis here shall be on those born eunuchs from their mothers’ womb. The other two are those forced into it and those that became so by their choice.

When God created man in His image and likeness, He decreed that he should go into the world and multiply. That declaration is for you and me. The only approved way to achieve this multiplication is to marry legally and keep the matrimonial bed holy. You don’t need an angel to whisper into your ears that it is time to marry. The rules are there in the bible. That is not our focus for today anyway.

Take example from Abraham, the father of faith. He didn’t need any prophecy to discern whether his son Isaac, needed a wife or not. All he needed was simple wisdom drawn from the Word of God. God told him during his call that through him the earth shall be populated with His new generation of children. He settled it in his mind to get a wife for Isaac to make that calling and purpose come to fruition. At the appointed time, he sent his servant, Eleazar to go to his kindred to get a wife for Isaac. You know the rest of the story in Genesis chapter twenty-four.

God designed man with all the features required to perform all that He wants him to do on earth in the same way a manufacturer will not put his products in the market place without the inbuilt features to function. Signs of puberty, sexual emotions and strong attraction towards the opposite sex are some indicators that you are ordained to marry. When His due season is near, He begins to impress His desires in your spirit for onward transmission to these dormant sexual potentials in you and suddenly you will awaken to certain pressure in that direction. The bible says, ” it is God who works in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure”, Philippians 2:13. Marriage is one of the good things that bring pleasure to God. When you start feeling the urge or willingness to get married just know God has begun this good work in you. Anybody that has this urge or desire to marry is one of those God has ordained to marry. Period!

To become a eunuch or to marry is your choice. God has given you the free will to decide it. He will not choose or impose any one on you. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because he wanted to use his life to serve God and not because God said he should not. His case should not become a doctrine to dissuade people from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives. He even admonished anyone that is unable to bear it to marry instead of burning in lust. If you choose to live a life of celibacy or choose to marry as you have desired, God is pleased with you. Do not allow previous disappointments dissuade you or make you start thinking that it might be that you are among the chosen eunuchs. You are ordained! If things are not working well, find out what you have not been doing right, keep correcting and working on yourself so God can connect you with the right kind of spouse.

However, it does not mean you should rush into anyone because God has willed it so for you. There is period to find the right kind of spouse and there is time for preparation. My stake here is to let you know that these signs put you in the category God has ordained to marry. You do belong to the group of those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb.

Parents should watch out for these signs in their children and wards. When these signs begin to show up, it is a signal to parents to start preparing their children or wards for the next phase of their lives. Unfortunately, many parents and guardians around these children do not always prepare them on time, and sometimes they misdirect them through wrong information. We owe the upcoming generation this responsibility as guardians. Those who fail at this level of parenting always regret it because late stitches steal real good time.

Those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb do not have and will never have the urge to get married because they do not have the features in them. I do not mean those incapacitated by sickness, diseases and infirmities like down syndromes, depression or paralysis. These are healthy and virile folks who are repugnant to the site of the opposite sex. They never have any amorous feelings towards the opposite sex even when they are both nude in a secret room.

Whether we choose to marry, remain single or born incapacitated, it does not make us sinners or better before God. He loves all of us equally, but it will please Him to see us fulfill His desires for us. I have cleared the obstacles before you. The onus is now on you to decide what you want. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because it was his choice. Apostle Peter did not divorce his wife because of God’s work, yet God accepted them all. Decide your case by yourself.

Remain Blessed!

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Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

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July 25, 2022
Learn How to Cultivate Self-Discipline As a Success Mindset

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Do you understand the connection between what you think and the success you experience, or do not experience, in your job or career? If you could learn to discipline your thoughts towards an attitude of success, do you believe it is possible you could in turn become successful?

There is a well-known phrase that talks about the importance of working smarter and while there are many interpretations of what it can mean, overall it is meant to emphasize the benefits of being focused, disciplined, and working hard. Hard work is the backbone of any career but over time, and when routine work habits are established and set in, the effort that a person exerts may become conditionally based. It could be due to a person’s perception of a “bad” boss, poor working conditions, not receiving a pay increase or recognition for their effort, and the list continues. While there may certainly be merit to these feelings, it serves no real purpose to make working hard a conditional characteristic of your job performance.

If you care about your career development then working hard needs to be a top priority every day. However, hard work may seem unjustified if a person’s expectations are not being met and that is where self-discipline comes into play. It is a matter of always being in control of your performance and responsible for the quality of your work. It also involves making a commitment to yourself and your career, one that is not dependent upon circumstances or influenced by circumstance no matter how challenging it may seem at the time. This will allow you to become disciplined and know that your best performance depends upon consistent effort, which establishes a mindset of career success.

Why Self-Discipline Matters

The development of a disciplined mindset allows you and your job performance to shine; whereas, the lack of intentional discipline sets you up for failure. Self-discipline is based upon a logical and rational perspective, is focused on being in control, and prompts the use of productive work habits. It is proactive with regards to job duties and career development, and it requires concentrated effort rather than striving to achieve absolute perfection.

Without self-discipline a person is more likely to be impulsive and unfocused, act based upon emotional responses, and be reactive to circumstances. It is easy to begin to work on becoming self-disciplined, whether or not it is a habit now, if you start by establishing an intention and make it a goal to perform your best at all times. It does not require prolonged struggle, only career goals. You can make choices based upon what is best for your job and/or career. Self-discipline involves maintaining control over your attitude, mindset, emotions, and thoughts at all times.

Discipline and Doing Your Best

Your job has a specific description, or at least an expectation of what it is you are supposed to accomplish. Over time, and as you become familiar with the daily tasks, you can determine what the minimum amount of effort is needed to complete the required duties and that may be enough for you to feel good when the workday ends. Then there are circumstances that influence the amount of effort you put in. There may be too much work, an upcoming deadline, or person in authority who is pressuring you to take on more work. You may willingly or grudgingly do more as requested; however, when you stop to consider this job do you realize it is your career at stake?

The attitude you develop about your job will also influence the attitude you have about your career development and progress. If your job performance involves putting in the minimal effort it is usually accompanied by feelings of job dissatisfaction and that may create a negative mindset about your career. It means you view your effort from the perspective of what you get from the job rather than what you can gain from it in the long term. When you are disciplined you maintain behaviors and an attitude that bolsters your daily productivity, which also provides you with the confidence needed to excel even when circumstances are less than perfect.

Learn to Develop Purposeful Intent

How do you feel good about a job and maintain that attitude, even when circumstances cause you to dislike it? You cannot force yourself to feel positive emotions when there are events or people who prompt negativity or feelings of frustration. What you can do is to change your perspective and that is where self-discipline matters. You can decide that you are going to feel good about yourself as a professional or as an employee despite the current conditions and anchor it to a position statement that is focused on your career goals. This allows you to create a disciplined mindset with purposeful intent and focus.

Your career is a series of steps and progress will occur over time and for some it will be accomplished through more than one position or job. At the heart of this is you as a person, and it is you who has an ability to learn and grow. With purposeful intent you can view each job as a stepping stone, which provides skills, knowledge, and direction. If one job does not meet your expectations or provides difficult conditions to work in, itemize what you have gained from it, list this information on your resume, and decide upon your next step. But no matter what, always make certain you have a disciplined focus or you will venture off course in your job and career plans.

Consider How an Employer Views Your Disposition

Consider for a moment that you are a hiring manager. What is the type of candidate you would consider hiring, if you were looking at more than the job description? Is it someone whose tone displays obvious frustration and does not seem to have much to say that is positive about their current employer or existing job? That is not a likely candidate for an employer based upon their attitude alone.

Now consider a candidate who comes along and has a professional presence, demonstrates a clear understanding of their career path or goals, and can articulate what they have gained from each of the jobs they’ve held throughout their career. That is a candidate who will likely gain your interest, even if they are not considered for the position, because they have demonstrated a disciplined mindset.

The point of reviewing these scenarios is to show the contrast between someone who possesses an underlying feeling of career helplessness or career control, which also demonstrates the difference between a disciplined and undisciplined mindset. If would like to be the candidate who is likely to get hired, establish a goal to be highly disciplined and productive.

Your disposition will carry over into the tone you convey when you speak with potential employers, along with your overall attitude about career development. As a professional resume writer I can spot a person’s disposition through their choice of words and how they describe their jobs when I talk to them. Someone who is disciplined and views all jobs as a learning experience has self-confidence about who they are and the talents they possess, regardless of job conditions or circumstances.

How to Develop Self-Discipline and Focus

Career Planning: You can begin to develop a hard-working, self-disciplined mindset right now by first examining your career plans. If you cannot articulate the specifics of your career, now is the time to get started. At the very least, decide upon a short-term and a long-term career goal. This will give you a sense of direction, one that can help you find what can be learned instead of focusing on existing working conditions.

The purpose of developing a career plan is to provide you with an ability to create purposeful intent. When you walk into the workplace each day you can remind yourself you are able to learn from any situation, even if what you learn is that you are no longer growing or moving forward in your career.

Learning and Growth: An important component of a disciplined mindset is maximizing your learning and growth potential. If you have developed a productive working relationship with your supervisor or manager, ask them if there is more that you can do. For example, perhaps you can take on an extra project that is based upon a departmental or business need. To some people this may seem to be counter-intuitive and an attempt to become the “teacher’s pet” – or some other type of negative phrasing.

If you are asking from a perspective of having a genuine interest and seeking professional development, and the need is recognized, this will create a feeling of accomplishment within you. As you continue to work hard you may even extend the timeline that you work for this particular employer. You will also likely be viewed as valuable employee, although the ability to remain disciplined will matter most in the long term for your career.

Self-Discipline as a Success Mindset

Becoming disciplined can have a variety of descriptions, including working hard, attaining maximum productivity, or maintaining a focus on what must be accomplished every day. The most meaningful correlation between a focused mindset and effort is the development of peak performance. This working definition speaks to the heart of what working to the very best of your abilities should mean. It is striving to maximize your performance with your current skills and abilities while being open to learning and development, and putting in more than the minimum effort required.

There are going to be times when you aren’t at the top of your game and that is certainly understandable. There will be some days that you find yourself working to the very best of your abilities and other days that find you putting in the best effort possible. The importance of being disciplined means that you do not allow job conditions be the reason why you are not functioning at peak productivity; whether there are new policies to adapt to, additional demands made of your job, or other circumstances.

You can always be in control of your actions and strive for peak performance as a matter of your career development. Learn to develop self-discipline as a mindset and attitude about how you work every day and watch your career continue to evolve as this sense of self is reflected in the outcomes you experience, both personally and professionally. The most effective way to be in control of your career and establish a pattern of success is to control how you think and how you work. Self-discipline is a productive state of mind and focused attitude that you can implement starting now. When your attitude is honed on performing your best, you will find yourself mentally resistant to adverse conditions and ready for new career opportunities. You are mentally disciplined and both you and your career are transformed.

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Source by Dr. Bruce A. Johnson

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July 24, 2022
Teen Relationships
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Before I start to talk about teen relationships I feel I have to make a clarification. Many people when they think of the word relationship, automatically equate it to love or sexual relationship. According to the general definition of relationship this is any connection between two or more elements and these elements can be anything from chemical substances to human beings. So from this definition it is simple to deduct the meaning of this word applied to human beings. A teen relationship can be any kind of relationship
1. between teens of the same gender
2. between teens of the opposite gender, like boyfriend girlfriend relationships
3. between teens and other persons of the same or different gender and different age.
The quality of these relationships can also vary, but there are two kinds of teenager relationships I’m going to talk about here;
- teen friendships and
- teen love relationships
Teen Friendships

This kind of teenager relationship will fit into all three categories above. It can exist between a teenager and other persons of same or different gender and age. A good friend – no matter age or gender – is one of the best things you can have on this earth. A really good friend that is special to you and means much to you. A person that is always there for you.

Many successful love relationships has started with friendship and this is probably the reason for it’s success. The better you know the other person, the better you’ll go along with him or her and in a long lasting love relationship – as man and woman – your appreciation of your partner as a friend will mean much more than anything else. If we look at it from the other end, it seems much more difficult to build a friendship from a love or sexual relationship. In fact, I have not heard about it, maybe you have but the point is that a good friendship is always good to have both as a basis of a future love relationship and as a friendship by itself.

A teenage friendship can exist between anyone no matter what gender, age, race, background or whatever. A 13 year old girl and a 50 year old man can have a great and even lifelong friendship together as well as two teenagers of the same gender.

Teen love relationships

While you can talk quite frankly and straight forward in a friendship most of us are more aware of not hurting the partner in a love relationship. This can evolve to a degree of lies and even no communication at all just to protect your partner.

There are also more mutual expectations in a love relationship and more intimate emotions are involved than in a good friendship. A teen love relationship can be great and long lasting but if there is no basis of friendship in it the probability of sustaining it is significantly lower. There are some legally defined limitations with regards to who can go into a teen love or sexual relationship. It is illegal for people of 18 years and above to have a sexual relation to a minor but It is definitely not illegal to have older friends.

A good friendship is one of the best gifts God has provided our lives with and even if you marry the sweetest boy or girl in the world, neither of you will be happy if you aren’t good friends.

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Source by Terje Ellingsen

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July 24, 2022