Tag: emotion

  • How Do You Metabolize Your Emotions

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    Emotions are not something that you wear like makeup or clothing. Emotions are not something that you acquire like a rash or a physical injury. Emotions are not something that are part of you like your skin. Emotions are like food. You cannot move through your handful of days without eating from the human emotional banquet each and every day. This is an “All You Can Eat” sort of Cosmic buffet. It caters to one and all be they rich, poor, educated or illiterate, male or female. This emotional buffet cares not whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or Jew.

    Many people forget that emotions, like nutritional food, are necessary for our very existence and well being, and like food, move through our system and hopefully become digested and metabolized. Too often though, we tend to hold on to our emotions for their metaphorical/symbolic significance. We often adopt our emotions like abandoned pets. We want to OWN them. Emotions MUST BE METABOLIZED and allowed to move through our entire system of consciousness. A person will often choose certain drugs like coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, chocolate as well as the more dramatic drugs, as a way of stimulating a specific emotional (or the memory of that emotion) response. These emotional memories are often selected as one would select an entree at a grand buffet. Often people will even come together and couple-up in an attempt to stimulate certain specific emotions within themselves as well as within the other.

    We are not our emotions. Our emotions are but a lingering trail of experiential sensation. Our emotions are like a foggy breath on a cold morning or like the trail of after images left by a flashlight as you attempt to write your name in the dark night sky. Emotion is not the object, it is not the event. When we experience something we have a “feeling-emotion” about it, there is a slight time delay there, where we can assign a level of magnitude to the emotion (remember the emotion is NOT the experience). But once we assign a value and magnitude to the emotion which trails after the experience, we own it. Then the experience will move on but we will be left with the emotion (and the memory of that emotion). It will have become the event. Often we become wrapped up in these trailing emotions like tangled balls of yarn, rope, or chain. Often we cannot even find an end. “When did this start?”, “How did I come to be so wrapped up in this emotion?”, “Where did I pick up this feeling about??” “How did I come to feel this way?” And a very popular one, “When will it end!” At the same time we are lamenting the presence of one emotion we are often creating others. We own them as if they were real estate! They are not real. But often we become collectors.

    Now how can we reduce our addiction to emotion, because that’s what it is, addiction. Drugs are merely metaphors for preferred emotional states. Most habitual behavior is a searching for an emotional memory. So how can we reduce our incessant quest for emotional memories. Quite simple. Sit down, get quiet and simply “watch” your mind. Simply observe it. Don’t argue, cajole or threaten. Just sit there and be quiet. It is an art of increasing the spaces, removing the old thought/image/emotions and not replacing them with…anything.

    Some call it meditation. Usually when meditating I notice long trains of thought and image. The other day I was sitting with myself, being empty, but actually watching the train of thought going by, when I noticed that, like a real train, there were small spaces between the thoughts. It was as if I was parked at a railway crossing waiting for a long train to pass. I could see the spaces between the cars. At first I was fascinated with the rolling stock. What were the logos on the sides of the cars, how were they different from one another, where were they going, where had they been? Gradually I began to move my attention into the spaces between the individual thoughts, between the cars and then suddenly-I was in the clear, on the other side.

    The lesson here is to go for the space and forget the content. Emotion is a process and not a product. Release the emotion, increase the space and embrace The Light.

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    Source by Jann Burner

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  • Aromatherapy – Nature’s Fragrant Medicine

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    We all know how fragrances make us feel. Some aromas make us euphoric, others have a more soothing effect, and specific familiar smells can transport us back in time and bring on feelings of nostalgia. The psychological and emotional effects of fragrance and the extreme importance of our sense of smell are obvious. But, did you know these same fragrances can also be used to heal your body and create well-being in your life? Aromatherapy is a well-known technique amongst healers from all parts of the world and all civilizations.

    What do they know that you don’t?

    As with Color Therapy, Sound Healing, Crystal Healing, and Energy Therapy, the aim of Aromatherapy, within the scope of healing, is to activate the senses of the body. The goal is to eliminate the conditioned, logical, and analytical mind, thus activating the wonderful reality of “feeling” and experiencing life in it most empirical and purest form. It is in this empirical state, that we are able to break the illusions of separation and connect on a deeper level with the energies that surround us. Dr. Richard Gerber MD, author of Vibrational Medicine, tells us that one of the best ways we can change dysfunctional patterns in our energy bodies is to administer therapeutic doses of frequency-specific energy. We do this by using herbs, crystals, sound, and energy also called vibrational medicines.

    It is common knowledge and practice, that scent can affect physical and psychological changes in living beings. We experience it regularly in our daily lives. When we smell a fragrance, it triggers an immediate emotion or feeling, that makes us happy, excited, calm or even nostalgic. Aromatherapy, practiced throughout thousands of years, dating back to the ancient Egyptians and the Vedic culture of India, where plant extracts and medicinal plants are still widely used.

    The term Aromatherapy was coined in 1937, by a French perfumer and chemist by the name of Rene-Maurice Gatterfosee. Aromatherapy is the holistic science of utilizing naturally extracted essences from plants to balance, harmonize and promote the health of body, mind, and spirit. Through the knowledgeable and controlled use of essential oils, we are able to achieve physical, emotional health, and overall well-being. As with other holistic practices, Aromatherapy is always used to treat the “whole” person and not just the symptom or the disease.The application of essential oils is historically mentioned countless times and throughout diverse civilizations (Egyptians, Greeks, Romans etc.) for a variety of health-related applications. Today, there are thousands of studies on essential oils. We know that their effectiveness is accurately merited by their composition of very small molecules, that are able to penetrate deeply and quickly into our cells (Transdermal delivery).

    The sense of smell is the most neglected of all the senses in humans. This is surprising when we consider that seventy to seventy-five percent of what we perceive as taste, actually comes from our sense of smell. The neurons that sense the odor molecules, lie deep within the nasal cavity, in a patch of cells called the olfactory epithelium. To understand how odor is humanly perceived, it is important to know why the limbic system allows us to behave differently when experiencing different odors. The Limbic system is a complex system of nerves and networks in the brain, involving several areas near the edge of the cortex, related to our instinct and mood. It also controls our most basic emotions (fear, pleasure, anger) and drives (hunger, sex, dominance, care of offspring). A very important aspect of smell is that olfactory neurons make up the only sensory pathway, that is in direct contact with the brain. Because of the close connection to the limbic center, feelings and emotions can naturally be regulated, as well as memory.

    The application and uses of Aromatherapy in healing, obey the same Universal Law that everything vibrates at different and specific frequencies. Every atom in the universe has a specific vibratory or periodic motion. Most plants (and animals,) use enzymes to break down molecular components during their life processes. And, each of these enzymes has a unique crystalline form with a specific vibratory frequency. The vibrational frequency of an oil reflects the innate integrity of these elements and the intrinsic enzymes embodied within its substance.

    The process of using Aromatherapy in healing treatments is to apply plant-derived oils with the correct matching frequency. Therefore, allowing the physical body to absorb these energetic vibrations and bring the body back to a state of well-being and equilibrium. Essential oils do not resonate with the toxins in our bodies; neither, do they resonate with negative emotions. This incompatibility is what naturally helps remove toxins and toxic energy from our systems. Aromatherapy, energetically speaking, can help dislodge forgotten traumas by surfacing them in our consciousness. For, it is in a state of consciousness that we can face, deal with them, and let them go. The therapeutic properties of this method, create exceptional vibrational remedies, capable of healing or rebalancing the body/mind/soul/spirit. Essential oils can regularly be used in body oils for massage, facial/body lotions and oils, baths, inhalation, diffusion, and on the energy points on your body.

    It is fairly simple to integrate Aromatherapy into your daily life. You do not need to be a master of plants and herbs. Choose a few. Learn about their energetic properties. Smell each oil. How do they make you feel? Once you have narrowed down your list and hand chosen your favorites, here are some DIY ideas:

    • Place a few drops on a tissue and place it in the air vents in your car. Enjoy Aromatherapy anywhere you go. No need to schedule extra time to enjoy the benefits of essential oils.
    • You can mix your favorite oils with coconut or jojoba oil (my favorites) and use them instead of your regular perfume.
    • Mix your essential oil in distilled water. Then, using a spray bottle, spray it as an air freshener around the house. You can also spray it on your favorite pillows and throws.

    Be Creative! You Are Unique!

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    Source by Susan Vilanova

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  • Some Interesting Facts About Network Marketing

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    Home based enterprise is simply giving you and also me the chance to earn money from the comfort of our house. The Network marketing industry is responsible for producing the most amounts of millionaires ever. Now you should possibly think about that statement for a second. MLM industry has produced more Millionaires more that the financial industry, more than the pharmaceutical industry, much more than any industry that you could think of.

    Another interesting fact about multi-level marketing business; most wealthy people are endorsing the industry. This is why Personally, I really do not have the time of the day to welcome or entertain anyone that thinks Multi-level marketing is a gimmick. Is Donald Trump a scam? Is Robert Kiyosaki a gimmick? Is Bill Gates a scam? Is Bill Clinton a scam? I mean these are folks who at a particular time have endorsed Network marketing venture. I found it very interesting that the people calling home based enterprise multilevel marketing a scam are the penniless folks.

    Home based business network marketing is a business. Many folks fail and also are continually failing in this venture because they are not treating it as a venture. For the most part, many are brought inside the business by family as well as friends. And it is fairly cheap to get started in it. However, these have made many folks treat home based enterprise multilevel marketing as some kind of hobby thing. You need to treat this enterprise like a multimillion dollar business that it is. In the event you do not, you will fail at it.

    Network marketing is a business of leverage. This is actually the part that is confusing for most individuals. You can not get rich by yourself. The only reason you are going to get rich is by making other people rich. This is actually the same for any industry. Bill Gates plus Warren Buffet have produced more millionaires than some other folks. So if you think getting rich is a selfish affair, then you need to reprogram your mind. Home based enterprise multilevel marketing is exactly like that. You need to leverage other people’s effort plus have their interest also in heart.

    Home based network marketing is a business of marketing as the name implies. I know there is “Network” inside the name and that is very important especially with the individuals in your organization already. There is also “marketing” in the name. I wish many folks will understand this sometime. Just like any venture, you have to market your business. You can get the traditional ways of marketing your enterprise plus you can find the 21st century ways of doing this. The question is in the event you might do something more rapidly as a business owner why would you want to do it slower?

    The most import point that you have to understand about home based enterprise multi-level marketing is that many people is not going to get. As a matter of fact, when most people are agreeing with you about your ideas, then you’re likely doing something wrong. Many will still call MLM a gimmick despite all the evidences of the contrary. Multi-level marketing is a numbers game. Your job is to find the superstars quickly that are willing to make money with you as well as change their life too. Really do not put your emotion into this. Many will not get it.

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    Source by Shola O Abitogun

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  • The Best Final Expense Sales Presentation Ever

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    Arriving At The Prospects Home

    When I arrive at the house, I like to park in the driveway because that is where family parks and they are more likely to greet me. I look for the door that they use the most and I go and knock on their door (usually the back or side door). While waiting for them to come to door, I look down at my clipboard and pretend to read. I try not to make any eye contact until they open the door.

    When they open the door, I greet them as if they have been waiting for me all day long. “Mrs. Jones? My name is Joseph and the reason I’m stopping by today is because you recently sent this card in and it’s my job to bring you that information you requested. I’d really like to go over this with you, can I come in?”

    If they say yes, GREAT!!! I’m in! If they say it’s not a good time, then I will schedule an appointment with them for the next day. Now you are off to your next one. Some people will let you in and some people will make appointments with you, some won’t be home. (Always make sure you go back or call if they’re not there.) Of course, some will slam the door in your face… ha (fortunately, not usually.)

    At the end of the day, you should have made 3-4 presentations and scheduled 4-5 appointments. The point is, you are out there working and making money. I’ve honestly made $8000 in commission in one day!!! No joke.

    Making Appointments

    Rather then drive around all day, some people prefer to make appointments or hire someone to make appointments for them. Personally, I hired someone to do this for me. I schedule my appointments an hour and half apart. Usually it starts at 10:30am and ends at 7:30pm. I try to get 7 appointments a day, 4 days a week. I always make my appointments the day before because they forget if it’s more than one day away.

    Script for Setting Appointments Yourself

    Here is an appointment script you can use:

    Good Afternoon ____________, This is ____________

    I have in my hand, a pink card that you filled out and sent in requesting information on the Social Security Death Benefit Program.

    Now, my job is to get this information out to you.

    The address I have here is ___________________.

    Is that correct?

    Okay… Great!

    On the card ________, you wrote down that you were 65 and that your wife was 63… is that correct?

    Awesome, awesome…

    Let me ask you a question: are you (you guys) working, retired or receiving disability?

    Oh yeah, that’s good, that’s good… What time… do you/she/he get off work…

    chit chat…

    anyway, like I said, my job is to this information out to you and I can either get it out to you tomorrow at ______ or ______…

    which is best for you?

    Great…

    Do you have a pen and paper handy or do you have your calendar in front of you?

    I just want you to write down my first name… It’s Joseph. Last name Haworth, H-A….

    Now put down there ______am/pm on ___________day… that’s tomorrow.

    Well, I really appreciate your time, I look forward to meeting you and __________, at ______________am/pm _____day________.

    Have a great day.

    When you arrive at your appointment, smile BIG and assume you are getting in. Say you are there for the appointment and ask to come in. It’s easy to get in… most of them remember that you are coming.

    Presentation

    To put you at ease, I want you to know that I’m not a sales person at all. I’m the most passive, non pushy person you can imagine. There really is no trick to it. So relax your shoulders and have fun.

    Once you are in the door, you compliment their home, their yard, their dog, the smell of the house… you know… whatever! Just compliment. My favorite one is to mention how clean the house is. If it is really clean, it means they work really hard at it and they appreciate someone noticing. As I’m walking in the house, I look at the pictures and I either ask who is in the pictures before I sit down or I ask later. In any case, seniors love to share their pictures so make sure you ask about them.

    I’m always very casual and I do my best to avoid the sales presentation for about a half hour. I like to have them talk to me and tell me about themselves and their family and their problems etc. I honestly get sucked in. I’m right there, feeling their joy and pain and I’m concerned and interested. I don’t care about the insurance at that point. Eventually, you move to the presentation and by this time you are friends and this helps them listen and helps you know how to communicate to them. Here are the steps:

    1. You tell them why they received the card and what it’s about.

    2. You bring up the cost of a burial and the fact their family is going to have to pay $10,000.

    3. You find out why they sent the card in.

    4. Ask who their beneficiary is and if they have ever paid for a funeral (both these questions bring out emotion because they don’t want their kids to pay for the funeral and by asking if they have ever paid for one, this helps them remember the pain of paying all that money for a funeral.)

    5. Ask them what medications they take and what they are for. Then you ask how their overall health is. “Have you had any heart problems, or kidney, or liver or lung problems? If so, when?” You need to know when because most applications only care about the past 2 years or so.

    6. Now you know what they are going to be approved for and you can show them some prices. I usually write down 3 or 4 prices on the back of their lead card. I try to match what I think they can afford. Once I write them down, I go over the prices and then hand them the sheet. I say, “Now, Mrs. Jones, I want you to look over these three prices and you tell me which one is best for you?

    7. Before I give them the prices, I tell them about an immediate benefit and a graded benefit. The immediate benefit means that their family will get the full face amount if they died even after only one payment. The graded policy, however, makes them wait two years before they have full coverage. To find out which one they qualify for, I have to ask the questions on the application. (However, if you asked enough questions earlier, you already know….)

    8. Before I ask the immediate benefit questions, I ask them to pick out a price first. (This is called asking for the sale. You have to ask for the sale or you will not sell!!! Plain and simple). Knowing the price they will pay helps with the next step. When you know they qualify for immediate benefits, after you ask the appropriate questions (that you already know the answers to), you stand up and congratulate them.

    9. At that point, all you have to do is ask for their personal information. “Mrs. Jones, can I see your SSN and Drivers License”… the point is that you start writing the application.

    We hope you will join us to see the full presentation in print, audio and on video.

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    Source by Jody Haworth

    Views: 0

  • Small Business Owner, What Happened To Your Initial Business Enthusiasm?

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    Starting a small business can be exhilarating, and it all starts with an idea. Oh yes, the idea grows and grows, and before you know it, that idea becomes so powerful that you can’t resist the thought of implementing it. So there you go, off to the races in full force!

    You started your business, but things didn’t go as well as you hoped, so your enthusiasm waned. How do you get that excitement back up and running?

    Following are five tips to help you get back on track and get excited again, but before you start, you’ll need a comfortable, quiet space, an alarm clock, a writing tablet, writing or coloring utensils, and most importantly, your original business plan (or ideas folder).

    (1) Pull out the original business plan you created some time back. Yes, the one you haven’t looked at for a while. This is the easy step, the next ones are harder to do.

    (2) Find a comfortable quiet space, set your alarm clock (on gentle sound) for forty-five minutes to an hour. Allow yourself to contemplate on your initial purpose of your business.

    (3) As you read each line of your original plan, focus on the words and ideas you wrote. Circle your main initial goal, the purpose of starting your business. What inspired you?

    (4) Allow yourself to feel that wonderful and strong emotion you felt when your idea first sprouted. Read and re-read your original plan. Can you feel it? Will you allow that enthusiastic smile to return? It just takes a few seconds!

    (5) Take a deep breath and on a piece of paper, jot down two action steps you will take within the next 24 hours, for example, reply to that email you’ve been putting off.

    The waning of enthusiasm is a common happenstance with many small business owners and may happen at any stage of their business operation. These waning of interest may last days, weeks, months, or even years. Best advice, take action once you’re aware of it.

    The steps above may look like simple steps, but sometimes that’s all a small business owner needs to get back on his or her feet. You’d be surprised at how far simple steps can take you once you get up and going again. That said, let’s get you up and running again, exhilarated, and growing with your original business purpose.

    So, there you go… It’s off to the races and back in full force!

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    Source by Krystalina Soash

    Views: 0

  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

    Views: 0

  • Jeffrey Archer’s "Old Love" Redefines Love Story

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    The “Old Love” of Jeffrey Archer is a unique amorous tale between two brilliant students of English literature from Oxford. Archer makes an exploration of the theme of love from a completely unusual standpoint. The rendition is fiercely honest while he portrays a chronic sense of envy and rivalry between two sworn arch-rivals in the Oxford University: William Hatchard and Philippa Jameson. Initially, their aggressive competition unsettles their tutor Simon Jakes. In their constant intellectual debates, Philippa confronted the deep, confident voice of William with her high-heeled boldness. The mutual hatred was absolute. Their sharply perceptive and analytical mind refused to be submissive to each other. Indeed, this fierce sense of competition enabled them to outshine everyone else in the field. Given the background of 1930’s she, to him, was “that silly woman” and he “that arrogant man”. Yet strange is the way of destiny that an unusual love story should blossom between the bitterest of academic rivals!

    This rivalry assumed an unpalatable intensity when both excelled as toppers in their final degree exam. The Charles Oldham Shakespeare’s essay writing competition fed fat to this fire of passionate jealousy and became a life and death question for each to defeat the other.There were liberal exchanges of scornful remarks between the two to play each other down. However, things took a dramatic turn when William unwittingly discovered about the death of Philippa’s father (who was a Vicar) from cancer, and also, his secret dream to let his daughter study in Oxford and win the Charles Oldham award. The sight of silent sobbing of his proud and powerful adversary stirred up a sudden feelings of empathy in his guts. He got over his tentative doubts and offered to accompany her to her village for the burial ceremony. They held hand for the first time and discovered the new bond of friendship as they started their journey to her village. They communicated with each other spontaneously while returning to Oxford which bounces Philippa back to her normal competitive spirit. She slowly discovers the growth of her new found intense attraction for William. The latter secretly enjoys this interesting conversion in the Vicar’s daughter.

    The transformation of hatred into love has always been a captivating subject in itself, and Archer makes the situation entertaining with the employment of sparkling wit in their conversation. They make a visit to Stratford and have meals together. But their first date was far from usual: it is a unique blend of warmth and intellectual antagonism! If this instinctive antagonism triggered a strong sense of hatred before, now it drew them closer. In fact, this killer instinct became a delirious source of entertainment for both. Archer makes the reader question if intense hatred could indeed be an expression of hidden attraction?

    Anyway, the situation takes a quirky turn while returning from Stratford. On their way back to Oxford, Phillipa and William had to spend the night in a car as the petrol gauge showed empty. The former obviously did not miss the chance of expressing her doubt about the cerebral power of a person who couldn’t even read a petrol gauge! The day next William gave her the reason why he let the car run out of petrol: He said with a rare sense of humor: “My father told me if I spent the night with a barmaid then I should simply order an extra pint of beer, but if I spent the night with the vicar’s daughter, I would have to marry her.” He came down on his knees and said,” Will you marry me if I win the Charles Oldham?” Philippa answered that “as there is absolutely no fear of that happening I can safely say, yes… ” When William declared his love for her she told him not to show his face in Somerville again if he failed to win Charles Oldham. The readers wonder if the writer reveals Philippa’s secret wish that she could marry himeven at the cost of losing Charles Oldham! Otherwise why would tears come to Philippa’s eyes when a girl informed her that she had won? It was a moment of crisis for her because between the conflicting emotion of ambition and love in her heart, the latter had won and for once the proud girl confessed, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is that not strange?”

    However, when she discovered that William was a joint winner, her puckish spirit returned as she said ” I take thee for pity” to which William replied ” I yield upon great persuasion… ” They were locked in a passionate embrace, and after that, they were never apart for more than a few hours. Strangely, their honeymoon in Athens ended up in a heated argument over the relative significance of Doric and Ionic architecture!

    Later in life, this constant battle of wit prevented their romance from dwindling into boredom and banality. Their serious research works and creative activities, though on different fields, kept them deeply connected. After three years, “with well-received D. Phils”, they moved on, in tandem, to college teaching. But their fierce encounters continued and their sharp wit at each other’s expense would flash across the dinner tables at Oxford. However, those who understood their love felt envious of their unique relationship! They were childless yet their life was not tasteless.

    Returning home after the celebration dinner (being declared the Joint Professor), their heated argument over Proust’s monumental work took such an intimidating turn, that a policeman, nearby, asked Philippa “Is everything all right madam?” “No, it is not”, William declared “this woman has been attacking me for over 30 years, and to date the police have done deplorably little to protect me”. Yet, beneath this apparent antagonism, their bond continued to grow stronger with each passing year. Interestingly, their intense love was inseparable from their zealous intellectual antagonism which lent a peculiar aura to their relationship. When Philippa was made the Dame of the British Empire, William referred to her as an “Old Dame” he had to live with now. It is this bitter-sweet flavor of their love which defines their marriage.

    The most irritable habit of Philippa to William was her determination each morning to complete “The Times” crossword before he arrived at the breakfast table. One fine morning in June, William, studying the clue, filled in the eight boxes left incomplete by Philippa. Philippa’s instantly retorted that there was no such word. To the delight of Philippa the word “Whym Wham” could not be found in the shorter Oxford Dictionary. William assured her that the word could be found in OED on his desk, made for scholars like him. William left the breakfast table with sharp comments on Philippa’s limited command of English language and that she will have to eat a humble pie at Somerville’s Gaudy Feast as she reads the collected works of John Skelton…

    William left with a sigh, kissing his wife on her cheek, wishing he had lost Charles Oldham. Philippa replied that he did indeed because it was highly inappropriate during those days to declare a woman as the sole winner! Having closed the front door, as she entered the kitchen, Dame Philippa suddenly suffered her lone heart attack. She called out to William hoarsely but in vain. The news of her death was conveyed and the story ends with a note of dark humor in the suicidal note of Sir William (who shot himself with his pistol): “Forgive me, but I had to let her know”. There was the volume of the work of John Skelton held open in one of his hand with the word “Whym Wham” underlined neatly, his fingers stiff and cold around it. Such weird ending, subtly hints at the essence of special relationship this couple shared so that they rise above the great marriage vow “TILL DEATH DO US PART.” Archer’s love story excels because death could not part Sir William and Dame Philippa! Even while following his wife to her grave, William felt the need to camouflage the inseparable bond they shared, and the insufferable loneliness he would feel without her… he does it with a wry sense of humor!

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    Source by Mandira Mazumder

    Views: 0

  • Divorce Tips: How To Heal From A Divorce In One Therapy Session

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    Healing from a divorce does take time and people going through this process are apt to experience a range of emotions including sadness, guilt, anger, resentment, anxiety, frustration and depression.

    The good news is that therapy can expedite the healing process and help people to view the end of their marriage in a more positive manner.

    Some years ago, I developed a visualization technique based on Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis and which seems to help many divorcing individuals to heal from their loss and to restore their overall well-being.

    A description of this technique appears below.

    Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths as you listen to my voice.

    Each time you breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. And every time you inhale you take in relaxation, peace and healing. And each time you exhale you let go of or diminish any pain, sadness or any negative or uncomfortable thought or unpleasant emotion.

    So, your breath becomes a powerful healing tool. You can use your breath to adjust your mood whenever you need to do so.

    And as you use your breathing to heal yourself, you may also discover that your mind can go back in time if you want it to do so.

    And as you go back in time…

    Do you remember when you were a little boy or a little girl?

    You may remember what you looked like back then or you may have seen photos videos of yourself from your childhood.

    You may also recall what the house you grew up in looked like.

    Now, when you were a child, you probably fell down while running or while riding your bicycle. And most likely, you bruised your knee or your elbow. And your arm or your leg probably bled what felt like a lot back then.

    Then your mom, dad or a neighbor came along and gave you a hug and comforted you.

    They washed out the wound and applied an antiseptic to the injury. This probably that stung a bit. When it was placed on your wound, you may have felt like you were going to have to feel a little worse before you could feel a little better.

    And then your caretaker applied a band aid or some gauze and tape that was just the right size to cover and protect your wound.

    This helped you to feel less pain, a bit safer and a bit more secure.

    The wound may have felt worse for the next day and for even a few more days or weeks.

    You probably had to change the band aid every day or so. And you may have to wash the injured spot frequently.

    But in time, the wound began to heal, even though you may have scratched it at times, like most kids do.

    And after the passage of a little some more time, a scab formed, all the bleeding stopped and the old skin was replaced with news softer but tougher new skin.

    After a little more time, the pain subsided almost completely. Though, you still had some good days and bad days with your wound.

    Now, the pain from some wounds may not ever go away one hundred per cent.

    Many of us have physical aches and pains that stay with us, but we push on in spite of them.

    But, luckily, sometimes healing eighty or ninety percent is sufficient for us to carry on to feel generally okay.

    As you can see, the mind heals from emotional losses and wounds in much the same way that it heals from physical injuries.

    So, if you or someone you love is struggling with a loss, think about the process of healing described in the metaphor.

    Perhaps it will to help to lessen your pain, allow you to heal and to move forward with your life with a more positive spirit.

    Give it a try. Interestingly, this same technique has been used by people who are dealing with the death of a loved one.

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    Source by Jay P. Granat, Ph.D.

    Views: 0

  • Music Sparks Emotion in a Video Commercial

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    Have you ever tried to watch a video commercial or advertisement without music? If so, there are few things you may have thought: that it was different due to the silence yet you seemed to like it, or you didn’t care for it at all making it easy to go on with your daily activities never giving it a second thought as to what the commercial was even selling. Ninety five percent of the time the latter happens because music is almost a sure-fire way to create emotions and moods in video advertising.

    When it comes to advertisements, music has the power to create better moods in video commercials, as well as to bring a more personal touch to these ads. As a result, it provides a better impact to their target audience, therefore effectively promoting products and services.

    While visuals might be appealing to marketers’ target consumers, the use of music in video media advertising tends to create a more lasting impression in consumers’ minds, providing a great chance for companies to build positive brand or company images.

    Setting the Mood

    Simple video advertisements sometimes could set the proper ambiance when they are without music. Of course, there are some scenes which might be perfectly shot and produced, but music enhances this mood and ambiance in any video media, providing a great complement to these scenes and stamping a long-term impact in the audience’s minds.

    Consider this situation: There is a video of a woman who seems to be standing in the middle of crowd. With the video alone, it doesn’t seem to mean anything. There is also a big chance that people would simply forget it, thinking that it is just some boring video. On the other hand, applying music in this advertisement would set a deeper mood – something that would connect better to the target audience. Slow music in this situation would set the mood of sadness, as if the woman is sadly waiting for somebody. On the other hand, upbeat music would set a more positive and outgoing mood, as if the woman would soon do something funny.

    Suggesting the Right Emotions

    The use of music in video commercials also hints what the audience or the target market should feel when they see these ads. Without music, people are sometimes confused as to how they should react to these ads. Music in video ads makes sure that your desired feelings are conveyed to your audience by suggesting certain emotions. It does not overly push the feeling towards your audience, but it acts as a way to make your audience think about what they should feel as suggested by the music. Music in video media ads, therefore, helps marketers and advertisers to somewhat help tell the target audience which kind of feelings should be felt in these video advertisements.

    Evoking More Intense Emotions

    Simple emotions found in scenes in video ads can be heightened further with the use of music. A scene of a sad woman would even be sadder with the right music, and can evoke more intense emotions to its viewers. Music can greatly affect the effectiveness of these video media ads because they can make the audience relate to a particular emotion or feeling. Affecting people’s emotions through music will make your advertised product, service or company to be related to a particular strong emotion, such as happy, uplifting, energetic or loving.

    Catchy Tunes Tend to Leave Longer Lasting Impressions

    Admit it – once in your life, you might have had some music stuck in your head because it was played in some video advertisement. Months or years later, you still remember that particular product, service or company whenever you hear the music. People tend to link music, brands and companies together, which just shows how effective music can be in video advertisements as compared to using only text or visuals. Video media advertising and commercials with music invest in long-term brand or company images in the consumer’s minds.

    Video advertisements that tend to be the most effective, almost always balance between the use of audio and video. Music can enhance the audio, and it should offset the video to effectively relay the marketers’ desired messages to their particular audiences.

    Some advertisements are better without music, but these are very rare and always depend from case to case. Most of the time, the best advertisements which leave lasting impressions are those with perfect mixtures of audio and video. The next time you watch a video advertisement, consider muting the audio. You will see a different message and effect as compared to watching it with the audio and music.

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    Source by Ann Rountre

    Views: 0

  • Transforming Negative Emotions Into Positive Feelings and Actions Part 2

    Transforming Negative Emotions Into Positive Feelings and Actions Part 2

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    Techniques to Release, Overcome and Transform

    1.) Observe yourself having the emotion. Just become aware and watch yourself in the process. This de-fuses it and frees you from an emotional strangle-hold and escalation. It takes will and strong desire to do this and becomes easier with practice.

    2.) Choose an image, a personal symbol, to place in your mind to stop self as soon as you recognize a negative emotion happening. For example, a stop sign, 10 deep breaths, a Danger sign or whatever means ‘stop” to you.

    3.) Consciously lift and move your energy from your solar plexus (stomach) area to your heart. The emotional charge is in the stomach and when you relocate your focus to the heart, you calm down and can see what is best. You’ll become harmless to yourself and others as your center of love is activated and replaces the negative feeling. A better decision can then be made.

    Release the Emotion (A present Feeling or one from the past):

    1.) Stomp, pound a pillow, yell, run, cry; release the emotion from the body.

    2.) Image a shower of light pouring down on you and washing the painful emotion away.

    3.) Pull the plug on the emotion. Image it as a color going down a drain.

    4.) Journal, write your feelings down.

    5.) Art Therapy. Do a simple technique that releases the emotion by taking a sheet of paper and using crayons, markers or pastels to draw/scribble your feelings on the paper. Get them out on the paper; release them. Turn the paper and see this situation differently. Now, draw. A new perspective can harmonize the emotion you’re releasing.

    6.) We release emotions with intention to be rid of them, not to fuel the fire for more. Be sure to release with the desire to be free of them.

    Transforming Negative Emotions:

    1.) Change your energy field. Close your eyes and imagine the emotion as energy around you. What does it look like, what color, shape, form etc. does it take? Now allow it to change and smooth out, becoming transformed, harmonized, peaceful. What does it look and feel like now?

    2.) Change your perspective on the situation. Re-frame it in a way that’s positive/productive for you. Ask yourself, how this situation can help you. What is good about it? How are you growing from it? A positive attitude about something can help resolve it for you, even if it’s a difficult situation. A new mindset can change everything.

    3.) Ask self what the lesson you are learning from this situation is. Knowing the lesson helps transform the negative feeling and take on the mastery of the lesson you are in the process of learning.

    4.) Put a new and positive picture in your mind about the situation that is causing the hurtful emotion. Instead of dwelling on the painful scenario or the trauma incident or being yelled at or treated disrespectfully, replace it with one of yourself healed, happy, successful, determined to move on etc. Whatever feels great and counters the old feeling. Keep the new picture in place whenever the old feeling comes up. The mind and body respond quickly to pictures, so this will shift you fast.

    5.) Inner Listening. Get very quiet and go into the silence within. Allow your inner guide to bring you new insights, wisdom and solutions for healing and transformation.

    6.) Forgiveness means letting go. It doesn’t condone bad behavior, but lets the pain go. You and others have the right to make mistakes and grow. Forgive self if needed and forgive others. This doesn’t mean that you will choose to stay connected with anyone who harms you. It means you let go of the painful movie, get the lesson and move forward. You stop the images and negative emotions from their endless control over you. Restore your self- esteem if you’ve acted poorly and wish the other person well if they have. To clean yourself completely, do a systematic of forgiveness for everyone in your life. You will be rejuvenated. Forgive; let go and say goodbye to these emotions.

    7.) Change a gripe to a goal. If you regularly complain and feel negatively about something or someone, set a goal for yourself and be determined to accomplish it. For example, if you are jealous of someone who has a degree in art; stop it and find a way to get one for yourself. If you are short of money and angry at others who have it, stop it and chart your path, make a plan to increase your income. Things happen first in the mind, so begin to visualize yourself having what you want already now. Feel the joy of it and for 5 minutes several times a day, sit quietly and feel the emotions you would have if it were yours now. Soon you begin to believe you have it. In the Biology of belief, Bruce Lipton offers scientific proof that we get what we believe.

    8.) Thoughts and emotions are intimately connected in fact, inseparable. One leads to the other. What repetitive thoughts do you have that are hurting you? Are you taking charge of your negative thoughts and transforming them? Think the opposite of your negative thought as soon as you catch yourself having it. Correct yourself on a daily basis; over and over. Repetition of the new corrected thought forges a new brain pathway and pattern. Strong intention and follow through is necessary.

    Don’t let your mind wander all day without direction or self-monitoring. You can change your mind at any moment into a more positive state. Letting your thoughts run wild will take away your peace. Take charge of yourself and choose thoughts that will help you.

    9.) What belief about yourself do you want to change? Finances, relationships, self-concept, accomplishment of a specific goal; health, personal qualities etc. Beliefs that limit and cause pain keep your emotions at a painful level, and only you can change that.

    Taking Positive New Action

    1) Set clear boundaries. You decide what you will and won’t accept from people and act on it.

    2) Practice assertive communication with others. Tell them how you feel without blame or judgment; just how you feel. Stand up for self if needed.

    3) Be creative. Create something positive from your experience.

    For example, women who have been abused have set up women’s shelters around the country. People who grew up hungry have started programs to feed poor children.

    All of these techniques work. Practice and practice and you will see yourself and your life become fulfilled and beautiful. Be very patient with yourself, as this is hard work and takes a lot of self- control, intention and discipline. It’s a progressive unfolding of the highest part of self. Over time we blossom!

    Steps in Review:

    1.) Stop and control self.

    2.) Release the emotion

    3.) Transform the emotion

    4.) Take positive new action

    5.) Replace negative emotional reactions with spiritual actions and personal spiritual qualities.

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    Source by Carole Cravath

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