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Selecting the Character's Emotion

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The last article covered the process used in selecting and portraying the character's objective. Many of the same principles also apply to the selection of the emotions. As with the objective, the ability to choose and convey strong emotions is a valuable tool for the actor. Many performances work mainly because of the powerful emotional portrayals.

In a dramatic sense, what are emotions and how do they affect the audience? Emotions, together with intentions and obstacles, are the forces that move the characters through the story. They are feelings so powerful that they can change the character's life or destroy it. And by destroy, I mean decimate one's inner powers, beliefs, even one's life. For the actor, such feelings must be larger than life. They must also be readable to stir and lead the audience in the desired story direction.

Emotions affect the audience in many ways. Most important is the empathy they create causing the audience to care about certain characters and follow their struggles. They likewise, create a for or against polarity for each main character as the audience observes, evaluates, judges, and even takes sides. As part of the behavior, emotions create deeper awareness of the character, often justifying their actions. In addition, emotions can change the audience perspective and the way they feel or think about a given issue. They are instrumental in leading the audience in the desired story direction

Like the intention, the emotion can intensify the conflict within or between characters. It can likewise, establish sympathetic or antagonistic roles, ones that make the audience root for the hero and boo the villain.

In choosing the emotion, the guidelines are similar to those used in selecting the objective. First read and study the entire play. Look for clues in the dialogue, the action, the stage directions, and in the resolution of the story. Select choices that result in the story line making sense.

Like the intent of the character, the emotion is derived from the character's viewpoint, what the character knows and feels up to that point in the story.

No one lives in a realistic world. We occupy a space of our own creation – bits and pieces of actuality mixed together with our internal perceptions, our hopes, our fears, our memories, and our anticipations. This "reality" we live in – half fact, half fantasy – is as much the product of our emotions as our rationality. Thus, in any given situation, what might be an acceptable intention and emotion for one character might be a contradiction for another character. Knowing the character's goals, flaws, and inclinations in context of the total story will aid in determining these choices.

Next, we need to answer the question, does the character's emotion assist the intention or does the emotion create an obstacle? Placing the objective, what the character wants, in conflict with what he or she feels will likely shift the focus of the scene to the character with the greater internal struggle.

Let's use the example where a man is at a dance and sees the women of his dreams sitting alone. His intention might be: To get to know her. But his emotion, fear of being rejected, would be in conflict with his intention. Thus the focus of the scene would be primarily on his internal struggle and the purpose of the scene might be to show the man overcoming his fear.

But let's say her intention, to marry rich, is assisted by the emotion, ambition. And the scene resolves when the women walks away when she discovers the man is dirt poor. If his initial emotion of fear were replaced by desire and his intention remained to get to know her then the focus of the scene would center more on the relationship and the impending discovery. The purpose of the scene could be to introduce his major obstacle in the story, the women, along with his over all goal: To win her love.

The initial choices for each character might look like this:

MAN

Objective: To get to know her

Emotion: Fear / Desire

WOMAN

Objective: To marry rich

Emotion: Ambition

The above choices set up confrontations, the inner doubts of the man, and then, his desire for her is countered by the revelation that he's not rich enough for her. After the woman learns this, her emotion changes to contempt for the man and she walks away. The characters' choices would now change to:

MAN

Objective: To win her love

Emotion: Determination

WOMAN

Objective: To marry rich

Emotion: Contempt (for the man)

These choices place the focus of the scene on the major conflict that is resolved later in the story when he wins her love. It, likewise, centers on what's important, the relationship.

As with the intention of the characters, the emotion need not follow the logic of the dialogue and action. Modern plays and movies do not always express the thoughts and emotions of the characters clearly, nakedly, up front. Today, we have to play the duality of people; playing what they appear to want against what they really want. And sometimes the two may have no connection what so ever.

In modern plays, every character has two behaviors. What is really going on and what they are willing to show to the world? So many emotions, to be played properly, need to be partially masked or repressed.

Using the man and woman from our earlier example, let's set up a scene later in the story, one that demonstrates the duality of the characters and uses of partially masked or repressed emotions. At a shopping mall, they meet by chance and their dialogue is mainly small talk. The scene ends with each alluding to errands undone. The only hint about what is really going on is found in the following script action lines:

He rarely looks directly at her.

They shake hands, each holding on longer than necessary, and then each goes their way.

In view of the story's final outcome, this is likely a scene where her objective, to marry rich, is weakening, and that she has some attraction for the man. Based on how their first meeting resolved, their selections might be as follows:

MAN

Objective: To not upset her / To win her love

Emotion: Desire / Determination

WOMAN

Objective: To show him I don't care / To make him want me

Emotion: Determination / Curiosity

This would be a scene where the characters are not open with each other, yet the audience (or camera) is aware of the inner conflicts and what's really happening. The behavior could best be reflected through masked and / or repressed emotions.

If the man were to play his emotion of desire openly, he would surely upset her. So he has to repress it or use a mask technique and unleash his desire when she is not looking at him. The woman is determined to show the man she doesn't care about him, but now he appears to have no desire for her. From her point of view, something has come to change the relationship and as a result, she alters both her objective and emotion.

His apparent disinterest makes her curious and her objective in now: To make him want me, like all men do. Her actions might be to get his attention, to entice him. But the problem is, he's not looking at her. How can she obtain what she wants? She uses the lingering handshake.

You can see where these choices create conflict both within and between the characters. They also create subtle shifts in behavior that move the story forward. Interest in the relationship is likewise increased because the audience is aware of something the characters are not. And as the scene ends, the audience has a pressing question: "What will happen the next time they meet?"

The foregoing example demonstrates one answer to the character's choices. These are, by no means, the best or only selections. In fact, the type of actor you are is also a consideration. If you were Jack Nicholson, your emotions might be different than if Arnold Schwarzenegger were he playing the same role. Each actor brings to the scene his or her own perspective and emotional latitudes. Furthermore, a scene played as a comedy versus one being played as a drama might result in different sets of emotions for the characters.

Here are some other factors that should be considered: Who are you in the story? What is the situation, and what is the relationship? For instance, if you were playing a love scene as a character that had little experience with the opposite sex, your emotion might be fear (fear of the unknown) rather than the expected desire or lust.

Now change the situation to your having a good dinner with your loving spouse. Your emotion would change to maybe contentment or joy. Now change the relationship to your having dinner with an important client. Your emotion might range from apprehension to ambition to greed. Who you are, the relationships, and the situation, all have a bearing on the emotion selected.

How many emotions can you use in a scene and how long do you play an emotion? As a general rule, work with only one dominant emotion in a scene – until something occurs to change it. These occurrences could be a change in the relationship, the situation, who you are, new information, overcoming obstacles, new obstacles, and succeeding or failing at one's intention. Any one of these events could have enough impact to motivate a change.

Most scenes have one dominant emotion running through them and while the actor may use subtle shadings of other emotions, that one feeling prevails – until something occurs to change it. If the actor were to change the emotion at each minor occurrence, the audience would question the character's integrity and loyalty to the cause for which he is fighting.

Too many changes cause the character to lose part of his identity. We become uncertain about who he is, what he's attempted in the past, or what he's after now. Credible characters are made up of consistent behavioral patterns. By that I mean, what has happened before will likely happen again should the same situation occur. There will, of course, be a few surprises, but for the most part, certain emotions will dominate each character's behavior as he or she progresses through the story.

So when you research and study the entire play, you will likely find certain emotions and emotional patterns repeated to reinforce the identity and commitment of the character. For instance, the repeated pattern of mischief – embarrassment – fear might be the dominant emotions for a small overly rambunctious boy. A young executive struggling with business ethics might have an emotion pattern of ambition – determination – greed – guilt. A woman in jeopardy might follow a curiosity-suspicion – fear – terror progression.

As you can see, certain emotions and their progressions make up a portion of the character. Also look for surprises where the emotion swings 180 degrees, ie, contentment to fear, desire to contempt, revenge to compassion.

When working on a play or scene, write down in the margin of the script your choices in objectives and emotions, where the changes occur, and the motivation for making the change. Beginning actors tend to be non-committal while experienced actors, however, take dramatic risks and commit themselves to their choices. By writing them down, you've made a major step to that commitment.

To aid in selecting the emotion, I've compiled discussions of root emotions , the primary forces in most scenes. These discussions explore the physical sensations, sources, forms, and dynamics of the most common root emotions. They will serve as a guide in stretching the clarity, strength, and polarity of your emotional repertoire.

This article has covered the basic skills used in the selection of dramatic emotions. Use these skills as tools to nurture and release the character's true feelings, to foster the isolation and control of emotional behaviors, and to achieve the desired strength (story importance), clarity (audience knowing / feeling it) and polarity (protagonist-antagonist orientations ).

Implementation of your selections is addressed in another article. This article will cover the various methods used to generate credible emotions.

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Source by Erik Sean McGiven

Views: 0

November 12, 2022
Health Anxiety and Solutions

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It's always important to take care of oneself using all the principles of good health. Regular check-ups, proper nutrition and healthful living all enable one to keep on top of their health in a careful yet reasonable way. Often one becomes overly concerned with health issues and caught up in a cycle of health worries. One health issue is reconciled when another immediately pops up to take its place. These worries become all encompassing and exhausting after a while.

Eventually, the individual realizes that this cycle of health anxieties has intruded upon the quality of their life. A dark cloud, always hovering over daily living, this intrusive form of anxiety has to be addressed. One begins by determining why this is occurring, what purpose does it serve and how to interrupt this behavior.

Reason for Health Anxiety

Health worries actually serve a purpose and this purpose is not difficult to detect if one looks deep enough into this pattern of behavior. Often this pattern involves the brain distracting from specific emotions which the individual finds difficult to address.

Many emotions are so overwhelming, such as anger, grief or fear, that the brain looks for ways to distract. Health worries fit the bill because when one worries intensely about their health, there is little room to address an upsetting emotion.

Health worries blanket every other thought and this WORKS. This is the perfect distraction from unsettling emotions. When one worry is reconciled, another takes it place to veil the unaddressed emotion. Each health worry has a strong purpose, as it masks the true upsetting emotion, which is much more difficult to face in the long run.

Solution

– Recognition and acknowledgment of the Health Anxiety habit, one worry quickly following another in a noticeable loop that never ends. Awareness of this cycle is always the first step to reconciliation of the issue.

– Determining if this health worry is a true physical problem by visiting one's primary physician and ruling out a definite physical cause for the difficulty. Always rule out a physical cause before assuming it is merely health anxiety.

– Noticing that these health worries settle down when you become intensely interested in another topic or swept into a new relationship, job or cause.

– Identify your patterns. Do you experience twinges of symptoms that often jump from one area of the body to another? Do you find yourself overestimating physical intrusions and instantly jump to the conclusion that they signify danger or warrant the attention of an alert?

– Find interests that involve your entire being. Lose yourself in things that allow you little time for inward thinking. True illness does not surface through boredom as do these behaviors. True health problems do not generally follow the same time table as health anxieties do. Health worries are stronger during times of boredom and when one lacks interests. An intelligent mind requires challenges and goals.

– Activity is an important therapeutic tool against health worries. Exercise and movement invigorate and stimulate the mind and body in a positive way. Endorphins are released and Serotonin levels are boosted naturally when activity is a part of a daily routine. Moderate walking, jogging, tennis, swimming and dancing are all helpful activities that bring forth positive results.

– Nutrition is also essential to good health which in itself helps eliminate the strong habit of negative thinking, often concerning health worries. When eating properly, Serotonin levels are naturally boosted and blood sugar levels remain stable. This helps settle down an over-reactive mind, leading to a lessening in health anxieties.

– Talk back to the brain by firmly telling it to stop when health worries enter the mind. Shift into a more positive mode of thinking because you always have a choice in what you think about.

The mind will respond by quieting down as negative thoughts subside. The brain, caught red handed in this behavior is instantly embarrassed causing it to suspend this cycle of negative thought. This is comparative to a child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Embarrassment at being caught, stops this intrusive behavior.

– Be aware of "what if" thinking. If the majority of sentences you think begin with "what if" then this is proof of a strong health anxiety habit. Change "what if" thinking to "so what" and watch the cycle break.

Most of all, understand that worry solves nothing. Health worries, in particular will only serve to exhaust and deplete both mind and body. Consciously make a concerted effort to change the way you think and you will succeed in changing your life. You will go from self victimization to freedom from the intrusive habit of fearful worry.

You always have a choice. Life can be wonderful and fulfilling when you learn to alter your perspective and chose a more positive point of view. You always have a choice. Never define yourself by your habit of worried thinking. Do not be victimized by health anxiety and fear. With a few simple corrections, especially in thinking, you will find your life changes from being difficult and upsetting to becoming easier and much more fulfilling on a daily basis.

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Source by Dr.

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November 10, 2022
Stuffed Emotions Don't Die – They Multiply!

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As I work with clients on a daily basis, I am often amazed at how much fear is involved in showing emotion. Granted some people go the other way and completely out of control with their emotions. However, numerous others are entirely out of touch with how they feel. You can tell a person is in this situation because when you ask them the typical therapist question, "And how did that make you feel?" there will be a long pause. Uhhh …. ummmmm … truly the thought of putting emotion to an event is almost impossible for them.

This process can be very frustrating when a person's spouse tends to be very in-tune with their emotions. They know exactly how they feel at all times. When an inquiry into what their partner is feeling brings a blank stare, there can be a complete break-down of communication. My common answer to help the aggravated partner understand what's happening inside their loved one's heart is, "when he / she tells you they don't know how they feel they are telling the truth. They truly don't know how they feel."

Typically, a person who stuffs will respond to any situation requiring emotions in one or two ways. They will give you the one emotion that our culture allows us to show: anger. However, anger is not the real emotion they are feeling. It is just the emotion that we are allowed to express openly. Anger is really about hurt, unmet expectations or other pain. If a stuffer doesn't show you openly expressed anger, they will just push the anger down inside and do what they do so well … stuff it!

The problem is that stuffing doesn't stop the emotion. Stuffed emotions don't get buried. Truly, stuffed emotions multiply. They become stronger and more powerful. Stuffing emotions over the long haul will eventually cause your body to break down. You can only carry so much emotion on the inside. Pretty soon your internal systems will start responding to the heavy load you are forcing them to carry.

If you are a stuffer, please know that this information is coming your way via divine providence. It is time to step back and start finding new ways to identify and process your emotions. Emotions don't have to be scary when you learn better ways to get in touch with them. Emotions are just like the light on the dashboard of the car. They serve the purpose of letting you know that "something under the hood" needs looked at. You can take out the fuse so the light doesn't go on, but that doesn't stop the damage to the inside that could possibly happen if you drive on down the road ignoring the warning signal.

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Source by Trudy Johnson

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Top 6 Ways to Get An Angry Customer To Back Down

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1. Apologize. An apology makes the angry customer feel heard and understood. It diffuses and anger and allows you to begin to re-establish trust. Not only that, but pilot studies have found that the mere act of apologizing has reduced lawsuits, settlement, and defense costs. You need to apologize to customers regardless of fault. Certainly, the apology needs to be carefully worded. Here’s an example of a sincere, yet careful apology:

“Please accept my sincere and unreserved apology for any inconvenience this may have caused you.”

2. Kill Them Softly With Diplomacy. This simple phrase has never failed me: “Clearly, we’ve upset you and I want you to know that getting to the bottom of this is just as important to me as it is to you.” When you say this, anger begins to dissipate. You’ve addressed the anger directly and non defensively and you haven’t been pulled into the drama of the attack.

3. Go into Computer Mode. To use Computer Mode you take on the formalities of a computer. You speak generally, without emotion, and you don’t take the bait your angry or difficult customer is throwing you. Your words, tone, and attitude are completely impersonal and neutral – (Think of the automated response system you speak to when you call your wireless phone company or bank.)

This “computer mode” response deflects, diffuses, and disarms angry customers because you don’t add fuel to the fire by giving your difficult customer what they want -an emotional reaction. When you don’t take the bait, the difficult customer is forced to stop dead in their tracks. And that means you regain control (and confidence).

The Computer Mode Approach In Action

Let’s say your customer says:

“You don’t give a d*** about customers. Once you get a customer locked into a contract, the service aspect is over.”

While it may be tempting to fuel the fire with an equally hostile response such as “What’s your problem, creep?”

Don’t take the bait. If you do take the bait, the situation will only escalate and nothing productive or positive will result. A computer mode response might look like this:

“I’m sure there are some people who think we don’t care about servicing customers.”

“People get irritated when they don’t immediately get the help they need.”

“It’s very annoying to experience a delay in service response.”

“Nothing is more distressing than feeling like you’re being passed around when all you want is help.”

And then you stop -like a locked up computer.

No matter how uncomfortable the verbal abuse is or how ridiculous it becomes, continue to respond without emotion. This tactic works because it is neutral, doesn’t take the bait, and because it is unexpected. The difficult customer wants to throw you off, make you lose control, and to get you to respond emotionally. When you fail to do each of these things, you actually regain control.

Go into “computer mode” the next time you’re faced with verbal abuse from an irate or unreasonable customer, and I promise you, you’ll quickly regain control —and you’ll have fun with the process.

4. Give this question a shot: “Have I done something personally to upset you?… I’d like to be a part of the solution.” Of course, you know you haven’t done anything to upset the customer. You ask this question to force the angry customer to think about his behavior. Often, the mere asking of this question is enough to get the ballistic customer to begin to shift from the right brain to the left brain, where he can begin to listen and rationalize.

5. Show empathy – Empathy can be a powerful tool used to disarm an angry customer and show that you genuinely care about the inconvenience the customer has experienced. Expressing empathy is also good for YOU, as it helps you truly begin to see the problem from the customer’s perspective/and this perspective will help keep you from losing your cool when your customer gets hot. By letting customers know that you understand why they are upset, you build a bridge of rapport between you and them.

Here are some phrases that express empathy:

o “That must have been very frustrating for you.”

o “I realize the wait you encountered was an inconvenience.”

o “If I were in your shoes, I’m sure I’d feel just as you do.”

o “It must have been very frustrating for you have waited five days for your order and for that I am sorry.”

6. And finally, here’s a tip that works like magic. …. Show appreciation for the difficult person’s feedback. After your difficult customer has ranted and raved, you can regain control of the conversation by interjecting—not interrupting, but interjecting to thank them for taking the time to give you feedback. You can say something like:

Thanks for being so honest.

Thanks for taking the time to let us know how you feel.

We appreciate customers who let us know when things aren’t right.

Thanks for caring so much.

The reason this tip works so effectively is because the last thing your irate or unreasonable customer expects is for you to respond with kindness and gratitude. It’s a shock factor and many times you’ll find that your customer is stunned silent and this is exactly what you want. When the customer is stunned into silence, you get in the driver’s seat and steer the conversation in the direction you want it to go.

When you do these things you’ll find that being on the receiving end of verbal abuse doesn’t have to be threatening or intimidating. You can come across as confident, composed and strong…and most importantly, you’ll regain control of the conversation.

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Source by Myra Golden

Views: 0

July 29, 2022
Commitment & Determination – What Makes You an Entrepreneur

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What makes you an entrepreneur?; this question is simple but very difficult to answer. For a long time, people have studied the science behind entrepreneurial process, what drives a great entrepreneur, the things that make an ordinary person transforms into a job creator.

To answer this question, it’s much better if we try to understand what’s behind entrepreneurial process. At the heart of every entrepreneurial process is the founder, the opportunity seeker, the creator and initiator, the leader, problem solver, and motivator; the planner and the guardian of vision and mission. Without this human energy, behavior, drive, and vitality, the greatest ideas-even when they are backed by an overabundance of resources and people-will fail, grossly underperform, or simply never get off the ground. Brilliant athletic aptitude and potential is not equal with the great athlete. The difference is invisible and intangible: commitment, tenacity and determination.

Commitment and determination are seen as more important than any other factor that inspiring an entrepreneur. It makes an entrepreneur can overcome incredible obstacles and also compensate enormously for other weaknesses. Almost without any exception, entrepreneurs live under extreme, constant pressure (when they start their business, for them to stay alive, and for them to grow). A new business requires top priority of entrepreneur’s time, emotion, patient, and loyalty. The level of entrepreneur’s commitment can be measured in several ways: through a willingness to invest a substantial portion of his or her net worth in the venture, through a willingness to take a cut in pay because he or she will own a major piece of venture, and through the other big sacrifices in lifestyle and family circumstances. Clearly, commitment and determination usually demand personal sacrifice.

What you should keep in mind is that the desire to win never equal to the will to never give up. And this is actually a critical distinction. So many lead entrepreneurs say that they really want to win, but only few have the dogged tenacity and unflinching perseverance to make it happen. Just take an example of a young entrepreneur who made several phone call but none were returned. He made a few more calls but still, no response. Over the next week he made yet another series of calls that once again received no response. At that point, what would you do? Would you keep trying, or decide to move on and not waste any more time? Only you can answer this question, and the answer will gives a clear picture of your persistence’s level.

Entrepreneurs who successfully build new business seek to overcome hurdles, solve problems, and complete the job. They are disciplined, tenacious, and persistent. They are able to commit and recommit quickly. They love to win and love to compete at anything. However, if tasks are unsolvable, an entrepreneur will be the first person to give up than the others. There is a fair opinion says that while entrepreneurs are extremely persistent, they are also realistic in recognizing what they can and can’t. They know where they can get help to solve a very difficult but necessary task.

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Source by Rendy Dalimunthe

Views: 0

July 28, 2022
Why Your Mindset Matters

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Why does your mindset matter? Your mindset only matters if you want to have a better life. What matters to you?

Do Things Happen to You, or do You Happen to Things?

When life happens to you, you are existing. When you happen to life, you are living. Don't let people, circumstances, or environment keep you from living your dreams. Go out and make it happen, you will be glad you did.

Focus on It

Do you envision your success? Do you clear your mind of all distractions before you engage your mind? Filter out distractions, negative self-talk, and envision a time in the past when you experienced success. Think about the way this achievement made you feel. Focus your energy on the positive What you focus on-you find.

Are you Sitting on the Sidelines, or Getting in the Game?

Do you spend time wishing, or thinking about what you want or are you actively engaged in pursuing it? Don't waste precious time in your life measuring others achievements. If you spend any time on social media, be aware of this mind trap. If you must peruse others success, think about how they got there, and make a plan to replicate this success in your life. Take action.

Do you Settle for the Status Quo, or are you Pushing your Limits?

Is life ok, just good enough? Do you wish you had pushed a little harder to reach your goal? If you have a pulse, get busy! There is always time today to break the status quo in your life.

Are you Continuing to Learn From the World?

Keep learning new things even if the things you learn don't fit into your overall plan. If you continue to be a student for life, the knowledge will enable you to continue to grow in surprising ways. Expand your world.

Are you practicing Blame Displacement?

Sometimes in life, people blame circumstances, other people or things for the reason they did not get what they wanted in life. This habit goes by many names, but I like to call it "blame displacement." The tendency to blame others for events that do, or don't happen in life. Don't be a victim of blame displacement, look back at what you could have done differently, learn from the experience, then move on.

Do you learn from failure?

Famous people like Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein have said they learned the most from their failures. Look at your failures and take the information to be better next time. Just make sure there is a next time. Move forward and improve.

Fear

Is the fear of failure keeping you from what you want? The following are two different ways to handle the fear of failure:

1-Think of the fear you are harboring, then imagine the worst possible scenario that could happen if you take action. Ask yourself, "what's the worst that could happen?" If you can live with this-take action.

2-Fear is a future based emotion. It never takes place in the present. If you feel the fear use it as your rocket fuel to propel you into your goals-take action.

Don't let fear, lack of focus, others or your environment keep you from your dreams. If you envision your success and believe in yourself and you will be well on your way to achieve your goals.The law of nature wills that what you believe, you can achieve, and receive in life.

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Source by Nan L Hruby

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Emotional Labour – Organisational Behaviour

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Abstract:

Putting on a good show, keeping face, professionalism in customer treatment can all be examples of emotional labour. When in the workplace dealing with others whether they be colleagues or customers we tend to give a positive emotional response despite the negativity of the other person (customer complaint) or our own current mood state (sadness, irritability) known as emotional dissonance. In this paper we will explore the phenomenon of emotional labour and its effect on workers productivity and social relations. The general outcome being that the strain of that dissonance creates mental health problems in the workplace.

Introduction:

Emotional labour can be seen as the affect of the current mood of a worker whilst engaging in interactions with others – putting on a good face for example despite feeling emotionally uncomfortable. (1. Robins/Judge 2013) These emotions can be driven by organisational expectations of an employees behaviour towards customers, clients and co-workers in support of the business goals to profit. For example in the service industry, customer complaints should be handled with a polite professional smiling attitude so that the customer perceives that their complaints are receiving serious attention. Despite the fact the service provider (customer relations officer) maybe be in a personal bad mood, have life problems or employment concerns – all this is swept aside to provide the company’s public positive image to the customer. For the employee engaged in such activities the strain of appearing positive and enthusiastic may cause both physical and emotional strain often leading to further deterioration in mood after work and in between assignments. You could argue that a good deal of the time we are in fact faking our emotions (feelings) in front of and towards others to support social conventions for example being polite. If a customer’s complaint is unreasonable, they are showing anger, accusing the company or misleading them and selling shoddy products – the company service support worker must maintain control over their own emotions despite feeling that the customer is wrong and the complaint is unwarranted or even ridiculous they still have to maintain the company driven reaction to the customer with calm professionalism. (2. Myler – Case Studies 2018) Some companies make being happy at work almost mandatory – where staff entertain, create an atmosphere or encourage excitement over the product and its associated feelings of happiness. For example, theme park staff forced to smile all day – try it yourself – it is very stressful to keep a happy demeanor in the face of disgruntled visitors waiting hours in a queue for a five minute ride or the phone shop worker being asked to entertain the queue of waiting customers with hi-fives and silly games. (3. Grandey et.al. 2010) Many customers in fact reporting discomfort at being targeted for unwanted attention and interaction). Therefore there is a difference between felt emotions (what I am actually thinking and feeling) than with displayed emotions (what is expected of me). After an interaction the employee can feel both exhausted by the forced situation and emotionally angry at faking their feelings for the benefit of others. Many people who suffer from depression report that faking happiness is the biggest strain of the day.

Culture and Emotional Labour

Culture may impact on how someone sees emotional labour as the expectations of others in the light of social comparison. (4. Matsumoto etal. 2009) For example many American service jobs, such as retail staff, service providers and customer interaction workers all feel that a positive upbeat smiling enthusiastic person is a definite requirement for the companies image management. The monocor – have a nice day – often rings false in the ears of those who understand this is not a genuine sentiment but a practiced social grace. In other cultures such as Japan or Asia in general – forced politeness or deference to not displaying emotions may in fact cause particular strain on everyday life where displaced emotion can be seen in acts of violence and sexual deviance. The French tend to not display openness in dealing with customers but in fact a non-smiling or even impolite attitudes towards their clients. This can cause companies dealing in global markets problems with staff in having to adapt and understand policy in line with the cultural underlying expectations of behaviour.

Mental Health

Many psychologists, counsellors and others such as nurses encounter patients (clients) who maybe presenting mental health problems such as anxiety (worry about future events) or depression (living with the past) that report difficulties in the work place in faking their emotions towards both colleagues and customers – that they feel the strain of the day at home later through irritability, sexual indifference a lack of appetite and sleep. Keeping up appearances at work therefore effects the very quality of our lives both in and out of the work place. (5. Myler Case Studies 2018) Dealing with difficult people whether customers or colleagues leaves us feeling exhausted physically and mentally. In therapy the psychologist maybe searching for psycho-dynamic reasons for the negative feelings from past patterns of behaviour and often miss the power of the here and now effect of faking your feelings at work simply due to enforced company policies that require us to present an image of well- being and happiness that actually is not there. Treatment therefore should focus on workplace stress rather than personal history.

Role Play & Emotional Labour:

Of course we are schooled from an early age in how to act given certain social situations, for example being happy at a birthday party ( don’t spoil it for everyone) to look sad at the funeral (even when we did not even like the deceased). We have learned behavior for situational displays of affect. Have you ever been told off – criticised – looked at the person with a smile on your face – and they say, “what are you smiling at?” they think you are not taking them seriously enough, acknowledging their concerns – the truth maybe that we think their remarks are unwarranted and silly – however our learned correct response is to – look serious and be intently listening – while all the time inside feeling what an idiot this person is! In other words we are often asked to fake it – for the sake of the other persons feelings – this is often seen as high empathy when in fact it is more often just a learned reaction to a situational event. Emotional intelligence is seen a as a panacea for management effectiveness but maybe little more than learned responses to situations, rather than a genuine cognitive response to some event. In other words emotional intelligence maybe more pop psychology than a fact. Measurement for emotional understanding may reflect no more about the learned response to given situations we have come to understand through cultural, generational and traditional customs of our community or group behaviour. Psychometric tests for emotional intelligence may in fact be invalid and not robust enough to provide any useful measure of a persons feelings towards others but in fact reflect that learned behaviour – what should be the response not what I actually feel inside.

Attributions Theory – Misunderstanding Others:

Attribution theory ( 6. Heider – 1958) suggests that we attend to what we see more than what we know. In other words – we do in fact judge a book by its cover. So if we are busy faking our emotions so must everyone else? So how do we know that the mood being displayed to us is genuine or faked. We pride ourselves on being able to know others feeling by their facial expressions, there seemingly genuineness and authentic sounding responses. In fact much of the time we maybe reacting to the faked emotion rather than the real one. We are often surprised to hear someone committed suicide – we may say – they always seemed so positive and happy looking – but that is exactly what a mis-attribution is – the lack of skills to identify a real emotion from a faked one – we are actually quite good at emotional labour at work and so do we really know what anyone is actually feeling, as opposed to what they are displaying to us. So the helpful shop assistant may in fact be bored rigid at having to seem enthusiastic about a product she has already spoken about ten times that day already.

In Summery:

Emotional labour is a situation where the employee expresses the companies desired response to a given situation. Emotional dissonance are our feeling of confusion between our internal feelings and the face we put upon the situation given company policy towards others. Felt emotions therefore being what we actually feel as opposed to displayed emotion being the faked response to another person. Finally emotional intelligence being no more than learned responses to events as we behave given the situation we find ourselves in. The consequences of faked emotions can be strain leading to emotional exhaustion that has both physical and emotional outcomes for mental health and general well-being. Judging others may in fact lead to mis-attributions where we think the faked emotion is in fact the real feelings of the other party.

To be honest, open and authentic would be real intimacy in our relationships but carries the high risk of rejection and misunderstandings.

References:

1. Robins S.P. Judge T.A. 2013 – Organizational Behavior 15Ed Pearson Publishing

2. Myler S.F. 2018 – Myler Case Studies 2018/19 Unpublished

3. Grandey A. et.al. 2010 – Work in the Global Services Economy – Journal of Service Management.

4. Matsumoto D. 2009 – Culture & Emotional Expression – New York, Taylor & Francis publishing.

5. Myler S. F. 2019 – Myler Case Studies 2019 Unpublished

6. Heider F 1958 – Attribution Theory – Oxford Dictionary of Psychology 2001

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Source by Stephen F. Myler

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Love As an Emotion

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I am now talking to the male part of any relationship because the male is normally the leader in any relationship. So, men, what will happen if your love for your wife or girlfriend relied on your emotions, or on your feelings? Today, you could cherish her, caress her, care for her, hug and kiss her. Tomorrow, you might feel totally different. You might slap her around a bit, shout and scream at her, ignore her, deride her. Because that is exactly what feelings are all about. Emotions play games on your feelings all the time. And the game changes every day, every minute. Think now of how confusing for the poor lady you have as a girlfriend or wife. She wants your attention, she says she loves you and has chosen you to be her mate, friend, and husband, whatever. But she is afraid of you because you are so much stronger as her, and she knows at any time you could burst into one of your tirades with disastrous consequences for her. Maybe a broken nose, a black eye, cracked ribs. Men who do this to any woman should be ashamed of themselves.

Real adult love is more than just a feeling. It means caring even when you do not feel like caring. It means spending time with your spouse when you prefer watching an important game on the telly. It also means nursing her when she feels ill and spending time with her when you prefer spending time with your friends. Love is taking responsibility for others and setting their needs and desires above yours. Love is also consistent with your feelings and it does not change every day. Love is not rude or harsh with your spouse, and respects her as the weaker member of your relationship.

I guess what I really want to say about being in a relationship where emotions and feelings is the basis of your relationship, and then you need to think long and hard about this. To rely on feelings is immature and stupidity, you just cannot rely on it. Do you really want to have a relationship with this woman? Tomorrow you might prefer spending time with your friends. Or for that matter, some other woman. So, if you decide no, I do not want to spend so much time with this woman, and then tell her that so that she could understand where she stands. She might feel hurt now, but in the end, she will at least know where she stands with you. And both of you could move on with your lives.

There are so many examples I can give on real love. But one thing I will say about this. Real love is taking responsibility of the opposite gender. Today you say you love her, but she will have the assurance that regardless of how you feel, tomorrow you would love just as much. Do not rely on your feelings of love for today, tomorrow it might be different.

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Source by Rodney Evan Bentley

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Guilt Is a Useless Emotion

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I once read a poem in my doctor’s office that went something like this:

If a child is raised in anger, he will feel anger.

If a child is raised with guilt, he will feel guilty.

If a child is raised with shame, he will feel shame.

If a child is raised in love, he will feel love.

Of course that is not the whole poem, but you get the point. At the time, the poem was just something to read while I waited. Today the meaning is very clear to me.

There is no such thing as guilt, you can not go to the store and buy a pound or bag of guilt. It is a man made ego minded emotion this is detrimental to humans living to their full potential.

It seems to me that women carry so much guilt, whether it stems from being a woman, or the way we raised our children, or for being/or wanting to be successful, to being a sexual human. Where did it all start? Why have we continued to pass this down to each new generations? Mostly we do it subconsciously, although I know there are times when it is used for our advantage in certain situations.

Many moons ago the female Goddess energy was the ruler of the universe, it was honored and valued. Did guilt arise when we stopped tuning into that energy and were slowly overpowered by the male energy that has dominated the universe for so long? Was it because we stopped standing our ground and speaking our truth? Who knows were guilt originated. I am not saying it is a female only emotion, nor pointing fingers, my point is for this particular article only.

Guilt has kept so many stuck in the same place for years. Why? Just like the poem says, it is passed down through the stories we were told by our parents, grand parents, teachers and role models. These stories were laced with limiting beliefs that blocked us from actually achieving our full potential in life. This useless emotion became a vicious circle that many are still trying to step out of, or don’t even realize they are in.

You get a great idea that will make you lots of money. Then the guilt thinking comes in, you start to hear the old stories, you can’t make more money than your husband, men are supposed to support the family. You may even see pictures of the people telling the story. OR, even worse, you want to express your sexuality, or your sexual energy and you hear that voice saying “good girls don’t” Well guess what, good girls do, and they have been for years. Even those catholic girls in high school that swore they didn’t. They do. We are human, we don’t need to feel guilty about anything. Especially expressing our true selves.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, everyone, but we don’t have to feel guilty about it and carry it with us the rest of our lives. It is time to free ourselves of the past, to free ourselves of the guilt. It is time to forgive ourselves for allowing this to control any part of our lives.

Guilt is an emotion that comes from fear based thinking. If we take a really good look at why we feel guilty for any particular situation, we will probably find that the thought process is not even our own. It was something passed down to us from someone else. And to think that is ruling our days!!

Fortunately there is good news. The choice is ours as to whether we are going to carry the guilt or let it go. Give a moment to think how you would feel if you decided right this moment to let go of it. How would it feel to have put it out with the garbage on Monday morning? How does it feel? Light? Airy? Expansive? Free? Now ask yourself this. How often do you put the garbage out at the road, and then walk out and bring it back into the house? Never, Right? The same needs to happen when letting go of guilt, once you put it out, leave it out. In fact don’t even go back to smell it.

How can we release guilt? Here are a few steps, these require you to love yourself enough to give yourself permission to feel good.

1. Write out what you feel guilty about and why. Take one situation at a time. Write adamantly, don’t hold back on anything, just let it all go, allow the emotions to flow. Once you are done, set it down for a few moments, then go back and write a little more. Don’t read it over, tear it up, or burn it. As you do repeat ” I now choose to let this go, it no longer affects my life.”

2. Sit with a situation in mind. Allow yourself to feel how you feel about it, visualize it, hear the stories other people told you about the situation. Feel where you feel this in your body. Ask yourself if the guilt is yours or someone else’s? When you have sat with it as long as you can, allow yourself to let it go. Visualize it leaving your body, feel it leaving your body and say I choose to let this go. I no longer need this in my life. I let it go in exchange for peace.

3. Change the story you are telling yourself. When you catch yourself telling the guilt story either to yourself or someone else, catch it, don’t judge it, just change it to something possible, with positive emotions. Be aware of the thoughts and stories you tell, after all we get to choose them, they might as well be positive.

4. Train your mind to look for thing to be grateful for. You will always find what you are look for, again it might as well be positive.

In doing these exercises you will release the emotional charge the thoughts and feelings have on you. The memories may come back from time to time, but the emotions will not take hold of you, they will not control you. Quilt really is a useless emotion, with a choice attached. I choose to let it go so I can soar through the rest of my life free as a bird. Free yourself.

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Source by Jenn Prothero

Views: 0

July 24, 2022
Shamanism – An Alternative to Modern Medicine?

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The internet, television, and other news sources are sounding the alarm announcing new protocols for the treatment of diseases. These diseases range from Alzheimer, cancer, diabetes, MS, to Parkinson’s. Within this shout-out is near condemnation of pharmaceuticals and praise for other approaches. The intent here is not to list these approaches or to specifically discuss all of them. One among the many does require attention.

There is a proliferation of shamanic healers and practitioners within the United States. Dozens of organizations offering advice, membership, seminars, and certification abound. A bulging gold mine lights up the horizon of possible candidates for healing.

At this point, it is helpful to define shamanism. There is no need to trace the etymological history of the word. Shamanism is not a cult nor is it a religion even though there is an abundance of evidence that suggests a belief in a divine power circumnavigating the universe. Shamanism is an ancient form of healing. A shaman, despite some attempt to label them as a priest, is simply a healer, that is, one who knows remedies for certain physical issues.

One of several significant markers that distinguish a shaman from a doctor is the recognition that illness may not be just physical, but emotion based. Treating the whole patient is a 40,000 year old approach that is catching on in the 21st Century. Another difference between a shaman and a modern physician is the division of reality into three realms: upper, middle, and lower. And that leads to a third difference: A shaman uses spirit guides as he or she treats a client.

The shaman has a wide knowledge of herbs; whereas, the modern doctor has a depth in what drugs to use. The shaman is nature based and the physician is most likely man-made chemically based. There is a sound movement to make more “drugs” natural based which from some quarters is praise worthy.

A fundamental issue arises from a cleverly clothed advertisement or testimonials praising the marvelous wonder of shamanic healing. Whenever a practitioner proposes a “cure” be very cautious. If you have a pain in your side a shaman may not know that it is appendicitis, indigestion, blocked bowel, or cancer. Accepting shamanic healing as an alternative to modern medicine is a grave mistake. And no pun is intended.

Alternative leaves a bad taste. It implies that there is a better way and that may not be the case. Supportive and interrogative medicine suggests treatment along with current medical practices.

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Source by Norman W. Wilson, Ph.D

Views: 0

July 22, 2022