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Tag: Dealing

  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

    Views: 0

  • Holistic Healing for Digestive Disorders

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    The digestive system is very crucial. It assists the body to absorb required nutrients and eliminate waste products. Any problems affecting it can lead to a lot of discomforts. The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases estimates that the number of Americans affected by digestive disorders to be 60 to 70 million. Luckily, there are natural, holistic healing remedies that can eliminate these diseases. Digestive disorders include the following.

    Heartburn (acid reflux) is a symptom of Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). It occurs when contents from the stomach move back into the esophagus causing irritation.

    Gas is simply the air inside your digestive tract. It enters the gut when you swallow it and when undigested foods in your large intestine are broken down by bacteria to release it. Its symptoms include passing gas, burping, stomach pain and bloating.

    • Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) occurs when the contents of your stomach return into the esophagus leading to heartburn. GERD is caused by unexpected relaxation of the lower esophageal sphincter.
    • Diarrhea is characterized by loose, watery stools. It leads to malabsorption and dehydration. Diarrhea can be caused by food allergies and intolerances, infections, problems in the digestive tract and medicine side effects.
    • Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is a term used to describe two disorders that lead to inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract. They are ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease. They both cause abdominal pain, severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, weight loss, and fatigue.
    • Constipation is characterized by fewer than normal bowel movements (less than three a week) or dry, hard and difficult bowel movements that are painful to pass. Other symptoms of constipation may include bloating and stomach pain.
    • Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a condition that occurs in the large intestine (colon). It leads to bloating, abdominal pain, diarrhea, gas, and constipation. It is still not clear what causes IBS.

    Nutritional Response testing is the perfect holistic healing remedy to deal with digestive disorders. This form of treatment is pegged on the concept that the body knows and is able to correct its problems. The technique first analyzes the body to identify the root cause of the disorders after which nutritional support and lifestyle changes are recommended to help the body heal itself. Unlike traditional forms of treatment, it does not attempt to mask the symptoms. Instead, it tackles the underlying cause of the problem.

    Holistic Healing

    The first instinct when we experience pain and physical discomfort is to visit a medical professional to address the disease. This is not wrong, and it’s sometimes the best way to deal with the situation. However, physical pain is usually a manifestation of an underlying greater imbalance. Holistic healing appreciates this fact. Instead of dealing with the physical aspect only, it addresses the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, too. It is not a quick fix. It is a journey to a more balanced lifestyle.

    The body contains different types of chemicals including neurotransmitters, enzymes, and hormones. Chemical imbalances can lead to many disorders in the body. Some diets can inhibit or stimulate hormone production and neurotransmitters thus leading to chemical imbalances. What appears to work for one individual might not work for another. That is why Nutritional Response Testing is perfect for identifying chemical imbalances. It can be customized to fit each individual’s needs.

    Are you struggling with any disorders? Are you looking for a safe, less invasive and effective treatment to deal with your condition? Nutritional Response testing is one of the best holistic healing remedies. You don’t have to suffer any longer.

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    Source by Dr. Louis Granirer

    Views: 0

  • Why Monitor Your MLM Reputation?

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    As you build your business your reputation will come under fire at some point. Your MLM marketing plan must include reputation monitoring. By including this key element, you can deal with the trolls and prospects that have decided to say something negative about you. Ignoring these complaints will damage your business and drop your trust. You need absolute trust to make business happen, being transparent isn't enough. Your reputation is at stake. A business that operates with a high and clean reputation will see success.

    The High Stakes of a Bad Reputation

    When you have a bad MLM reputation, you will lose business. That is the reward for dealing shady with prospects. Others like to use slander campaigns and this is an unethical practice and it can hurt if ignored. Your ability to react in a positive fashion is important to calm the waves as it ripples. You can't do this with negative retaliation content. This will look like a slap fight in the eyes of prospects, so there is a different way to handle this. You can debunk the misinformation by providing valuable content that answers the slander or complaints.

    Hopefully in the best cases, all issues will be sent to you directly by email or phone. This is easier to deal with, but there are many people that love to ring the "foul" bell for no reason at all. You will have to deal with these people, gentle but firm. The content that you produce to help build your reputation is just as important as marketing material. Be transparent like water and answer all questions with as much detail as possible. One sentence answers don't work, stuffed answers will show your lack of knowledge. Be careful as you tread through the land mine. It is easy to add credit to the accuser's content. There are professional reputation managers that can help you in this field, but it won't be cheap.

    Managing your Reputation

    You can set up search engine alerts under your MLM business name and wait for stuff to roll in. This is the easiest way to watch for content that is directed towards your business. You can then review the material and make appropriate responses toward the material. You should also respond to positive content as well. You don't have to write a book in return but be thoughtful in your responses and try to respond quickly, so prospects can see your rebuttal towards the statement of the individual.

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    Source by David L. Feinstein

    Views: 0

  • Divorce Tips: How To Heal From A Divorce In One Therapy Session

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    Healing from a divorce does take time and people going through this process are apt to experience a range of emotions including sadness, guilt, anger, resentment, anxiety, frustration and depression.

    The good news is that therapy can expedite the healing process and help people to view the end of their marriage in a more positive manner.

    Some years ago, I developed a visualization technique based on Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis and which seems to help many divorcing individuals to heal from their loss and to restore their overall well-being.

    A description of this technique appears below.

    Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths as you listen to my voice.

    Each time you breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. And every time you inhale you take in relaxation, peace and healing. And each time you exhale you let go of or diminish any pain, sadness or any negative or uncomfortable thought or unpleasant emotion.

    So, your breath becomes a powerful healing tool. You can use your breath to adjust your mood whenever you need to do so.

    And as you use your breathing to heal yourself, you may also discover that your mind can go back in time if you want it to do so.

    And as you go back in time…

    Do you remember when you were a little boy or a little girl?

    You may remember what you looked like back then or you may have seen photos videos of yourself from your childhood.

    You may also recall what the house you grew up in looked like.

    Now, when you were a child, you probably fell down while running or while riding your bicycle. And most likely, you bruised your knee or your elbow. And your arm or your leg probably bled what felt like a lot back then.

    Then your mom, dad or a neighbor came along and gave you a hug and comforted you.

    They washed out the wound and applied an antiseptic to the injury. This probably that stung a bit. When it was placed on your wound, you may have felt like you were going to have to feel a little worse before you could feel a little better.

    And then your caretaker applied a band aid or some gauze and tape that was just the right size to cover and protect your wound.

    This helped you to feel less pain, a bit safer and a bit more secure.

    The wound may have felt worse for the next day and for even a few more days or weeks.

    You probably had to change the band aid every day or so. And you may have to wash the injured spot frequently.

    But in time, the wound began to heal, even though you may have scratched it at times, like most kids do.

    And after the passage of a little some more time, a scab formed, all the bleeding stopped and the old skin was replaced with news softer but tougher new skin.

    After a little more time, the pain subsided almost completely. Though, you still had some good days and bad days with your wound.

    Now, the pain from some wounds may not ever go away one hundred per cent.

    Many of us have physical aches and pains that stay with us, but we push on in spite of them.

    But, luckily, sometimes healing eighty or ninety percent is sufficient for us to carry on to feel generally okay.

    As you can see, the mind heals from emotional losses and wounds in much the same way that it heals from physical injuries.

    So, if you or someone you love is struggling with a loss, think about the process of healing described in the metaphor.

    Perhaps it will to help to lessen your pain, allow you to heal and to move forward with your life with a more positive spirit.

    Give it a try. Interestingly, this same technique has been used by people who are dealing with the death of a loved one.

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    Source by Jay P. Granat, Ph.D.

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Says That I Am Too High Maintenance

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    Any complaint that causes your husband to disconnect from your marriage, to distance himself from you, or to consider a separation hurts. There is no scenario where this isn’t painful. But I suspect that it can feel a little more painful when the reason for his distance seems personal.

    What I mean by that is that sometimes, a man will be unhappy because of reasons that have to do with him. He may be having a midlife crisis. He may believe that marriage doesn’t suit his ideology. He may be having a personal crisis. I am not saying that these scenarios are not horribly painful. They are. But at least the wife has no reason to blame herself.

    And then there are the scenarios where things do feel personal. These are the instances where your husband is blaming the issues in the marriage on the wife. It could be something that she has done or something about her, about her actions, or about her personality that is the supposed problem.

    Here’s an example. A husband might tell his wife that being with her is “exhausting.” She might explain: “for the past three months or so, I have been noticing my husband acting distant and weird. I confronted him about it right away, but he denied that there was a problem. Then we were at a family gathering this weekend and it was held outside in 90 degree heat. Like everyone else, I said it was hot and wanted to leave after dinner because I felt sick. My husband got angry at me and said he was tired of dealing with my ‘high maintenance personality.’ As we were leaving, he said that being married to me is ‘exhausting’ and that he may want a separation because he can not stand living his life this way anymore. He says that nothing makes me happy and that I can’t just sit back and roll with the punches of life like a normal person. He says that I am spoiled. He says that he feels like he always has to pick up the slack. I admit that I am not as thick skinned as some when it comes to sitting in the heat all day, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. And he knew that when he married me. I told him that I could try to change and he said that people like me never change and that we are just not compatible. He says that I make him ‘feel tired’ and he doesn’t want to feel that way anymore. Where does that leave me? I don’t want to lose my husband. This really hurts my feelings and feels like a personal attack. But I could forgive it and move on if he would give me the chance. The problem is that he does not seem at all receptive to me right now.”

    I understand why you are hurt. These types of issues can feel, and sound, like a criticism. When someone tells you that you are ‘exhausting,’ that phrase makes it seem as if they no longer want to do the work to keep up with you. Of course it hurts.

    Understand The Context In Which The Comments Were Made: I think that your husband’s ‘fatigue’ might be due to the fact that the maintenance issue may have bothered him for a while, but he sat silent and said nothing – even when you asked him what was bothering him. So things built up until they exploded. His silence is not your fault. And things may have been easier now if he had addressed the problem much earlier – before he became so angry that he lashed out at you.

    Know That Context Doesn’t Mean That It Isn’t Time To Take Action: It’s normal to hope that this will blow over. And it may – for now. But any time a husband is uttering words that indicate he is tired of your marriage or thinks that there is a compatibility issue, you want to pay very close attention and you want to take action right away. I say this not to scare you, but from the concerned place of someone who was in a similar situation. I hoped for the problem to pass over, but I ultimately ending up separated. I think that I possibly could have avoided that fate by taking action at the first sign of trouble.

    Moving Forward Quickly: It’s unfortunate that your husband waited so long to share that this issue has been bothering him, but you can’t undo that at this point. What you can do, however, is be careful of what (and who) you are presenting to him moving forward. It doesn’t sound as if he has made definite plans to move out or to pursue a separation, which means that you may have some time to address this.

    Sit back and be really honest with yourself. Which of his concerns have some validity? What is he right about? Is this issue something that other friends and family members have expressed? If so, then there is nothing wrong with addressing it. Sometimes, it takes a painful situation to stimulate growth. If you take this and use it to move you forward so that you grow and improve in some way, then at least the pain will have been for something. At least you can use this as a stimulus to improve your marriage.

    If you are very honest and you find that his words do not have validity, then you may went to dig a little deeper. Sometimes, a husband will project another problem onto to what is obvious or handy. It may not have been the heat or your personality at all during that family gathering. But the situation might have given your husband an easy explanation. Sometimes, a husband can be frustrated and not quite sure why. That’s one more reason why it’s very important to be extremely observant right now – so that you are taking action on the items that are truly at issue.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • Timing Counts In A Relationship

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    Human beings are social animals. Most of us crave the comfort and warmth of sharing life experiences and love with others. Most of us crave the intimacy of a love relationship, with shared hopes, dreams, and adventures of life.

    We want deep and loving relationships, and they are a lot of hard work to make them happen. A friend of mine said, the dream is on the other side of the hard work.

    Having the dream is worth it. That makes the hard work worth it, too.

    Part of the hard work is being realistic about timing.

    Timing matters about dealing with things within a loving relationship.

    If your partner has had a lot of external conflict or stress in the day, it is probably not the best time to bring up talking about a new challenge you are interested in. It may be time to listen, to just be together, and to nurture, rather than a time to bring up additional conversation that may be stressful.

    Timing also matters in starting a new relationship. Being in a healthy place and relationship with yourself first gives a better chance of relationship success.

    What kinds of timing issues could there be?

    1. Work Stress. If your career is at a point where it is demanding 70 or 80 hour weeks, where you are exhausted the rest of the time and your mind is full of work challenges and solutions, it's probably not the best time to try to start a new relationship . Your date may very well feel neglected and overlooked. What can you do? Make some changes in your specify if you can. Or have a conversation, let the person know you're interested and that you need a bit of time to straighten things out. Either he or she accepts that and is willing to wait a bit, or not. You've taken responsibility, and need to accept both your situation and the response.

    2. Financial Difficulties. Tough financial times are not a good time to begin a relationship. Your partner could feel used as a money resource. You could embroil your partner in your problems rather than find common interests.

    3. Recent breakup. No matter how well you broke up, you will have some loss to deal with. It's best to heal from the baggage of your loss before you try to enter into a new relationship.

    4. Recent trauma. It could be a death in the family, an illness, the loss of a job, even being in an accident or a crime victim. The best idea is to work through your emotions over the trauma before investing in a new relationship. Things are going to come up until you deal that will interrupt and strain the exploration and fun you want to have.

    5. Long Distance. Relationships are hard enough without adding long distance. In a new relationship you want to get to know one another, spend time together, and share experiences. The honeymoon phase of a new relationship is precious. Resentments may occur that wouldn't happen without the distance challenge.

    Timing in Relationships is crucial. Stresses are going to happen. If you are in a committed relationship, seeking good timing counts, for dealing with life issues.

    Setting a time together to talk can be a good idea. For a new relationship, diving in when the timing is wrong is a set-up for failure and disappointment. The goal is love and happiness. Be mindful of timing.

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    Source by Annie Collyer

    Views: 0

  • The Only Real Cure For Irritable Bowel Syndrome

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    In this article I will talk about irritable bowel syndrome specifically IBS-D which manifests itself in loose bowel movements or alternating diarrhea and constipation. I will not talk about IBS-C which appears to manifest itself in solely bloating and constipation.

    If you have landed on this page it will be because you like many millions of others have either been trying to self diagnose your condition or more likely that you are looking for a cure. I must warn you in advance, although I have an academic background I am not a medical health professional and you should always consult a doctor before embarking on any form of treatment however mild.

    In this article I will be covering my battle with IBS for approximately 10 years and how I finally found a cure that works. Everybody has a different story when it comes to IBS-D but as I found out, we all have something in common. I will go on to discuss this in the following paragraphs but I just want to start by saying a little bit about me.

    About 10 years ago I was a young university graduate and decided to join a job that first seemed exciting with infinite possibilities. I soon learned that this job was very stressful and required a 24 hour commitment. I didn’t have a problem with working hard but I had a problem with my work environment. Many people at work were miserable, anxious, and horrible to one another and constantly testing their bodies to the limit. It seemed the norm to be constantly stressed out, have a poor diet and feel like you had no control over your life. My work was my life and my life was nonexistent.

    Within a few months I started to come into work and make my way straight to the toilet. As any sufferer of IBS-D will known this meant constant diarrhea. It didn’t matter what I ate or drank I would always have diarrhea. It was not uncommon for me to visit the toilet three or four times a day having eaten little to nothing and immediately have diarrhea.

    Slowly I just got used the feeling and for whatever reason I thought nothing more of it. As soon as I would eat I would not feel at ease until I had gone and empties my bowels after which I immediately felt better. Along with the diarrhea I would lose water from my body which I never had time to replace so I looked like a dried out prune. Over 5 years I continued to do this to my body hoping that I would find a better role in my job and finally this would all stop.

    It certainly did not go away in fact into my 6th year of IBS-D suddenly out of nowhere I started getting debilitating cramps followed immediately by diarrhea. I would have these cramps 5-10 times a day and would literally need to run to the toilet or feel like I was about to soil myself. This made it difficult to be effective at my job which then created a vicious cycle causing my IBS-D to completely go out of control.

    I suddenly thought that I had developed cancer and stated reading everything on the internet about what disease matched up with my symptoms. I found quite a few which is why self diagnosis is not such a wise idea. I went to my doctor and we stated off with a course of antibiotics as he thought I might have developed in infection after an episode of food poisoning.

    This didn’t have any lasting effect and soon I was back to him demanding more in depth tests. This started a with a breath test to rule out food allergies and went onto multiple blood tests to eventually eliminating ulcers, colitis, coeliac disease, Crones disease gut infections, etc. I then went to the next and final step which was endoscopy of both the upper and lower digestive tracts. This all came back negative too. Finally I was diagnosed with severe IBS-D. In one way I was relieved to know that I didn’t have something like colon cancer but at the same time I was depressed thinking IBD apparently has no cure.

    The next chapter of my life involved trailing a long list of medicines in the hope that they would resolve this issue. Now I want to tell you that of the drugs that I took, there are many people out there that rave about some of these drugs and what it has done for them. That is great as everyone’s body is different and what works for you may not work for me.

    I am addressing the huge numbers of sufferers worldwide who like me have tried everything under the sun and were unable to find a cure. Now the following is a non exhaustive list of drugs which I tried and the results by their side.

    Fibre (ineffective) Made things worse

    Pre & Probiotics (ineffective) At first seemed promising but quickly stopped working

    Exercise (ineffective)

    Drinking Lots of water (ineffective) Made things worse

    Exclusion diet (ineffective) Some foods like cheese, chocolate, spice made my IBS worse but exclusion of all the culprits did not resolve matters.

    Anti Spasmodic (ineffective) Lots of different brands but all useless

    Imodium (ineffective) Helped a little with the diarrhea but certainly not the cramps

    Tri Cyclic Anti Depressant (ineffective) Has a drying up effective at first but quickly runs out

    Hypnotherapy (ineffective) Very insightful and relaxing but not enough by itself

    At this point the consultant G.I specialist had run out of ideas and I was left to suffer on my own.

    Having done countless hundreds of hours of research I came across the answer. In Islam we believe that for every single disease God has made a cure so go seek it.

    These are my opinions on IBS-D;

    IBS-D will not kill you, it can easily be treated and there is nothing seriously wrong with you

    IBS-D Is a functional disorder which is caused 99% by stress be it conscious or subconscious

    IBS-D can only ever be treated by dealing with the cause behind the problem and not the problem itself

    IBS-D affects people generally in the Western world where the 24/7 lifestyle and pressures of society cause people to be stressed out beyond limits and this is often brushed off as mild anxiety or depression.

    So here is the magic bullet you have all been waiting for that worked for me and if my concept is correct should work 100% without fail for genuine IBS-D sufferers.

    First accept that you have IBS-D because you are under pressure consciously or subconsciously and this is your body’s way of warning you that enough is enough.

    I spoke to my G.P and asked for Venlafaxine XL which is an SNRI antidepressant. I choose this specifically because it had constipation as one of its side effects; it was a powerful antidepressant and reduced visceral hypersensitivity.

    Within 6 months at 150mg a day I had completely 100% recovered from any symptoms of IBS-D.

    So how did it work? It is simple; the vicious cycle of stress, followed by cramps followed by diarrhea was broken. I no longer worried every time I went out if I had been food poisoned or where the nearest toilet was. It just let me get on with life without thinking about IBS and soon I was able just stop worrying about IBS and that is it.

    Every single person reacts differently to different antidepressants so try them and see which one works best for you. Whilst you are on them you could try using hypnotherapy to make you understand that if you take the stress away then you break the cycle. It’s your thoughts that control your bowels. Controlling your thoughts will help control you’re IBS but as I said before hypnotherapy is ineffective on its own.

    The only other drug that I have used when coming off Venlafaxine was a benzodiazepine called Alprazolem, brand name XANAX. In the UK this is not prescribed on the NHS so you will have to get it by private prescription. This drug can be addictive but if you have good self control it is an excellent drug to use on a controlled as needed basis. One tablet of 0.5 mg and I would be saying what IBS? You have to be very very careful not to increase your dose or develop a habit for this drug. You should also know it can develop tolerance and so you will then need to start increasing your does. Use it like it is supposed to be used as a treatment for IBS and not recreationally for you pleasure and you will have no problem.

    Finally I’d like to conclude by saying that if I didn’t have God in my life I probably would have given up long ago. Now I have my life back and am free from IBS-D. God always gave me hope so never give up the search for treatment and treatment starts with knowledge of your condition. So don’t make the mistakes I made and loose ten years of your life before realising that we are all human and we all have breaking points. If you have gone past that breaking point your body will tell you one way or another so listen to your body.

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    Source by Jordan James Sinclair

    Views: 0

  • Follow the Yellow Brick Road to More Sales

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    When Dorothy landed in Oz, she wanted to go home and was told by the Munchkins to see the great and powerful Wizard of Oz. “But how do I find the Wizard”, she asked. “Follow the Yellow Brick Road”. “And the best way to start, is at the beginning”. And that holds true for the Sandler System as well. Start at the beginning.

    The beginning step in the Sandler Sales Process is to establish bonding and rapport with your prospect. Once you’ve created a good relationship with this person, you can then set an up-front contract on what you will discuss, typically their agenda and yours, with a specific outcome in mind. This up-front contract should lead them down the path towards revealing some pain. If there’s no pain to reveal, then you can shake hands and part as friends, and move on to the next prospect. However, if you do reveal some pain, then you schedule a next meeting where you can delve deeper into the prospects issues and pain.

    THE PAIN FUNNEL IN ACTION

    Let’s look at a sample story showing the pain funnel in action. In this story, our sales person works for a contractor who builds navigation systems for fighter jets, and has an appointment to see Henry Jones. Henry has an engineering background and is very technical in nature. Watch how the sales person starts out using the questions from the Sandler Pain Funnel to better understand his prospect, and then slowly moves Henry through the funnel towards a sale. The questions are broad at first, but then become more specific and designed to make the prospect more emotional. The idea is to grasp Henry’s problems and lead him to reveal how the problems affect Henry personally.

    Henry starts by asking the salesperson, “Can you design a system that will easily retro- fit our F-16s so that rewiring will not be problematic?” As you can see, this is a very technical question for a very technical problem. The salesperson can try one of one two things: answer the question directly and speak about the product’s features and benefits, or try to uncover the real intent of the question and ultimately, if there’s any pain. In this example, the salesperson employs the Pain Funnel to dig for the pain behind the prospect’s question. The salesperson responds, “You know, that’s a great question. Can you tell me more about that?” Henry answers back, “Yes. We’ve had some experiences retrofitting F-16s with different types of equipment and ran into some challenges. It takes a very long time to rewire the system, and that becomes problematic when you have to disconnect wiring harnesses and lots of other systems that are related to whatever it is we are installing.” The salesperson probes, “Can you be a bit more specific? Give me an example.”

    Keep in mind, each and every question the salesperson asks comes from the Pain Funnel. Even though the questions are in order, you can tell it offers a very smooth arc to the overall conversation. If you have internalized the questions and the process, it won’t feel awkward guiding a prospect through the Pain Funnel in exactly the order prescribed.

    Henry continues, “Well, recently we had to retrofit replacements into the planes. We had to take out the ejection seats and remove some of the navigational systems. We even had to get into the hydraulics. So, what we originally anticipated would be a 25-hour job turned into a job that lasted close to 200 hours. It’s not so much the hours that really bothers us as the amount of time the fighters have to be out of service in order to get it done.” The salesperson continues down the Pain Funnel, “How long has that been a problem?” “It’s been two years that we’ve been dealing with this,” Henry replies. “OK. What have you tried to do about that?” the salesperson asks, following the Pain Funnel method exactly.

    Henry answers, “We talked to a contractor to see if there was a possible fix, and they came up with some recommendations.” The salesperson goes to the next Pain Funnel question: “And did that work?” Henry responds, “The only potentially viable solution they came up with was to redesign the entire system. That would actually take the planes out of commission for even longer.” The salesperson asks, “Do you have any idea how much that would cost you?” “A lot. But it’s not just dollars. It also puts peoples’ lives at risk. Every day that one of those planes is out of service, we risk not having a jet ready to protect people”, Henry says more emotionally now. “How do you feel about that?” the salesperson asks sincerely. (Or alternatively, the salesperson could ask, “What’s your level of commitment to seeing if there is a way to make sure this problem doesn’t happen again?”) “Honestly? We’re very upset this is happening, and we have to get it fixed. We need solutions that minimize the amount of time these planes are out of service. Do you think you can help us?”, Henry pleads.

    THAT’S HOW IT WORKS

    In our prior scenario, the salesperson effectively uncovered Henry’s pain. So what’s next? Uncover even more pain. An effective Pain Step means uncovering 3 to 5 elements of pain the prospect is dealing with. However, don’t use the same approach each time, vary it a bit to keep the prospect unaware of what you are doing. A classic bit of sales wisdom is, “The best presentation you will ever give is the one the prospect doesn’t see.” Since the prospect has revealed to you what to present in order to win the sale, you will want to move forward in the sales process by offering direct solutions that relieve his pain. However, don’t do it right away. First, be sure you really have uncovered three to five pains, and done a good job on the Budget and Decision Steps. In other words, stay within the Sandler Seven Step process. At this point, you will be ready to present the appropriate solutions in the Fulfillment Step. Moreover, if you’ve done your job correctly, like Dorothy did, and followed the Yellow Brick Road to Oz, all you need to do is click the Ruby Slippers together and the deal will close itself, and may even take you some where over the rainbow!

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    Source by Greg Nanigian

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  • How to Handle PPC Problems in MLM

    How to Handle PPC Problems in MLM

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    Paid Advertising in MLM

    You work hard in your MLM business and saved money for paid advertising. It’s been a dream to use some sort of automation for your marketing and the road to success has been a climb. Finally, the day has come for you to launch your PPC campaign and you feel a bit unsure about the whole process. Yet, you feel ready to conquer the world, because you believe in yourself and your dream. So, you take the plunge and invest your nest egg into a campaign. A month passes and your campaign was a disaster. You check the data and find out that you had little traffic from the keywords and the script you used was generic. The frustration sets in and now you’re worried about the future.

    Ever been like this in a new venture, especially with PPC or other paid advertising and suffered horrible results for your MLM? If you haven’t, but are looking into paid solutions to help your business, you should reconsider your options heavily, first. Organic traffic brings in higher numbers than paid solutions, no one likes ads. If you are bent on using PPC, then you want to read further and deal with the issues involved. A fair warning, other businesses are using the system to further their objectives and most are not successful. If you wish to proceed then please read on.

    Common PPC MLM Problems

    Now if you’re looking to improve your MLM PPC campaign, one of the biggest issues you have to look at is your quality score. The quality score determines the quality of ads and landing pages used by the keyword. A higher score means the system believes your ads are relevant and useful. The ads are rated on 1-10 and a larger score keeps the competition down, the cost down and you may receive your lion’s share of clicks. It’s not guaranteed to work, most people scroll past the paid stuff and click on the organic elements first. One other problem is that your impressions and clicks may drop off due to either a budget, quality score or competition.

    Dealing with the PPC Issues

    Now let’s wrap this up really quick on how to deal with your PPC problems and get your MLM business on track. Make sure your landing pages, keywords and ads are relevant. Throw in a negative keyword to reduce irreverent searches. You may want to split test ads to see what works better and it can improve your quality score. If your ads been dropping, you may need to improve your quality score or increase your bid amount. Your daily budget should never be reached, you may need to lower or rise it, depending on the data that your campaign suggests.

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    Source by David L. Feinstein

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