Global Digital Store – Ebooks and Softwares

Tag: Critical

  • Offshore wind farms could power much of coastal China: study

    Offshore wind farms could power much of coastal China: study

    Under the Paris Climate Agreement, China committed to rely on renewable resources for 20 percent of its energy needs by 2030. Currently, the country is on track to double that commitment, aiming to hit 40 percent by the next decade. Wind power is critical to achieving that goal. Over the past 20 years, China’s wind power capacity has exploded from 0.3 gigawatts to 161 gigawatts.

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  • Businesses Pursuing New Product Development

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    With the aftermath of globalization, companies are carefully thinking about the best ways to extend their product and service offering. Thus, product development strategy is critical for their success. Yet, many companies are in defensive mode and merely want to maintain the position in the market place.

    However, staying in a holding position is a definite way for companies to be left behind. Innovative thinking that allows for product/service growth is a too sure way for sustainable success. In today’s discussion, we will explore the importance of product development for the growth of businesses, especially in a competitive market.

    Launching into new product offerings is not easy. According to one market research, approximately 75% of consumer-packaged goods and retail products fail to earn even $7.5 million during their first year. Harvard Business School Professor, Clayton Christensen, who is the world’s foremost authority on disruptive innovation, suggests that the failure rate of new products may actually be as high as 95%. Product failure rates relate to the number of products that are launched commercially but fail.

    Geoffrey A. Moore, the author of Crossing the Chasm, maintains the challenges of product deployment: “… the less successful product is often arguably superior. No content to slink off the stage without some revenge, this sullen and resentful crew casts about among themselves to find a scapegoat, and whom do they light upon? With unfailing consistency and unerring accuracy, all fingers point to-the vice president of marketing. It is marketing’s fault!” Thus, new product development is a risky proposition to senior executives making these critical positions as well as the organization as a whole.

    Businesses that want sustainable growth must develop new product and services often and consistently. Philip Kotler and Kevin Keller, authors of Marketing Management, “In an economy of rapid change, continuous innovation is a necessity. Highly innovative firms are able to identify and quickly seize new market opportunities.”

    In taking any actions on new product development, businesses should think strategically about their product development. Alexander Chernev, the author of Strategic Marketing Management, further argues that managing growth is the most preferred route to profitability compared to just cutting cost.

    He outlines four key issues in managing growth, which include: (a) gaining and defending a market position, (b) managing sales growth, (c) new product development, and (d) product-line management. Chernev maintains, “New products and services are the keys to sustainable growth; they enable companies to gain and sustain their market position by taking advantage of the changes in the market to create superior customer value.”

    With that said, new product development meaning having the ability to take a product or service idea and convert it into a tangible offering that customers want. The following are the steps that more products undergo for market consumption: (a) idea generation, (b) concept development, (c) business analysis, (d) product development, (e) market testing, and (f) business deployment.

    The Ansoff Matrix is a strategic tool for product development, consisting of market penetration, market development, product development, and diversification. In market penetration strategy, organizations seek to grow using its existing product offerings in existing markets. With this strategy in mind, organizations try to increase market share. In a market development strategy, companies try to expand into new markets like new buyers using their existing offerings. In product development strategy, businesses seek to create new products and services targeted at its existing buyers.

    In a diversification strategy, an organization tries to grow its market share by introducing new product offerings while at the same time entering a new market. Diversification is the most-risky approach due to simultaneous making new changes (new product, new market). Kotler and Keller further maintain the difficulty of sustainable product success: “It is increasingly difficult to identify blockbuster products that will transform a market, but continuous innovation can force competitors to play catch-up.” The concept sounds easy. However, it is riddled with problems.

    Without a doubt, many companies know that product development is a risky business. Although many consumers will proudly proclaim the success of many innovative products like Apple and Google, these same buyers are not aware of the numerous product launch failures in this country. In our discussion, I demonstrated the importance of product development for the growth of businesses, especially in a competitive market. Failures often lead to innovation.

    American great inventor, Thomas Edison, had his own share of failures, but learned how to innovate because of them: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Likewise, today’s businesses can also achieve success if they understand how to deploy their products and services to the marketplace strategically. Although there is enormous danger in failure, there is also the opportunity of unforeseen growth. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

    © 2017 by DD Green

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    Source by Dr. Daryl D. Green

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  • The Four Horsemen of Marital Apocalypse

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    Stop to consider your last fight with your spouse. The exact subject may escape you at the moment. We understand. After a while, the spats – over bills, your job, in-laws or the dishes still in the sink – can all blur together. But contrary to popular belief, it’s not the amount of conflict in your marriage or what you argue about that determines your relationship’s survival rate. to marriage researchers, how a couple fights tends to be the best predicator of whether they’ll end up enjoying their golden years together or battling it out in divorce court. So learning to fight less may not be quite as important as learning to fight fair.

    Four Deadly Sins of Marriage

    Dr. John Gottman of University of Washington, one of the foremost marriage researchers, claims he can predict with 90 percent accuracy if a couple will divorce. In his storied “love lab,” Gottman studies how couples interact, particularly how they communicate with each other in heated moments. After 30 years of research, he has pinpointed four behaviors that seem to invariably spell disaster in any marriage. He ominously refers to them as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Every couple needs to be vigilant and ensure none of the four gallop into their marriage and wreak irreversible havoc.

    Horseman #1: Criticism

    The most common horseman that emerges in long-term relationships is criticism. Frustrations, annoyances and resentment inevitably build up when couples live together – day in and day out. And criticism can be how these emotions manifest in the heat of an argument.

    Note that criticism differs from complaining. Criticism focuses on the person. Complaining focuses on the behavior. This may seem like subtle nuance but research shows it is a distinction that makes a significant difference in the long term. For example, this is a critical statement: “You always drive around in circles. You are an awful driver with a terrible sense of direction.” These words are dripping with blame and accusation. They are a personal attack.

    Unlike criticism, complaining has more to do with how the other person’s behavior makes you feel. Complaining usually begins with an “I” instead of “you”: “I get so frustrated when you are driving and don’t know where you are going.” See the difference? The second statement is a negative comment about something you wish were otherwise. So though “I” statements can seem awkward, they really help keep the carnage manageable during explosive moments.

    Horseman #2: Contempt

    You’re an idiot. You can’t do anything right. You make me sick. These contemptuous words have no place in any relationship you value. They are meant to explicitly humiliate or wound. They are toxic and indefensible. Period.

    Contempt includes but is not limited to name-calling, hostility and sarcasm. Keep in mind that contempt can also be conveyed non-verbally. An excessively harsh tone or disgusted eye roll can escalate your garden-variety argument into WWIII in the blink of an eye. Avoid contempt in your arguments at all cost. It is the basest, most childish tactic to resort to in a fight. Strive to respect your wife even when you disagree or feel upset with her. Contempt is like a poison. It will single-handedly erode intimacy. It destroys a sense of security and mutual respect. It does real damage because it makes a partner feel belittled and unloved.

    Horseman #3: Defensiveness

    Criticism+Contempt=Defensiveness. Defensive statements become practically an involuntary reflex in homes where contempt and criticism are regular visitors. It is understandable. After all, who wouldn’t put up their guard in response to an accusatory, belittling spouse? Defensiveness is fundamentally a self-preserving tactic.

    As understandable as this response can be, it is still hugely destructive. It builds walls. Rather than allow room for connectedness, the foundation for conflict resolution, it tends to breed emotional distance. Defensiveness blocks healing and forgiveness.

    Horseman #4: Stonewalling

    Because stonewalling is not explicitly aggressive, couples often underestimate its destructive potential. But it can be just as devastating to a relationship in its passiveness. It is, in effect, giving up. It is withdrawing emotionally. It is essentially closing the door to a resolution.

    Stonewallers withdraw partly because they can feel overwhelmed with emotion. They may keep their faces expressionless, avoid eye contact, hold their posture rigid, avoid any signs of listening such as nodding or encouraging sounds. They radiate icy distance and disapproval to their partners.

    The Secret to Fighting Fair

    Now that you know the four horsemen, make a conscious effort to keep them in the stable before they trample your marriage. One of the best ways to do this is to make “repair attempts” during your next argument. According to Gottman, repair attempts are any words or actions that prevent a conflict from escalating out of control. As simple as it sounds, repair attempts keep a marriage from becoming negative, hostile and distant.

    Repair attempts can be as basic as changing the topic, giving a compliment, apologizing or saying, “I’ve been cranky all day, can we start over?” It can be as simple as saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this” or cracking a joke to diffuse tension. Research even shows couples who touch during arguments also tend to show higher relationship satisfaction. Do whatever works for you when conflict rears its ugly head.

    Remember, the more entrenched the negative patterns of behavior in your marriage become, the more difficult it becomes to break them. Don’t become a victim of these negative cycles. When two mature people can take ownership and be flexible, they will keep their marriage strong even though they may not always agree. As a Scottish proverb says, “Better bend than break.”

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    Source by Grant Langston

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  • Entrepreneurship – Craze of Present Generation

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    An Entrepreneurship sets up an enterprise for profit motive and rightly so. But if you start your business with the 'Show me the money' attitude, rest be assured that you will not go very far!

    Ever wondered why in the world of Entrepreneurship, some carve a niche for themselves and stand out from the crowd, while others, even though successful, have a mundane existence?

    Well it all lies on certain qualities that an Entrepreneur may possess or the way certain activities are conducted by him / her. Here are special skills which you need to hone to become the Successful Entrepreneur.

    Everybody has a certain goal in life which just refuses to go away or change. You must understand this goal to be the calling of your life. Write down this goal – It will time and again remind you, how important it is to achieve this goal and will not let you sleep until you achieve it and become a celebrated Entrepreneur.

    Share your Dream with Right people – Law of Entrepreneurship

    In this world of make belief, you should be able to distinguish between the good, bad and the ugly. Many Entrepreneurial dreams die a quite death because somebody labeled it 'stupid' and constantly put you down until you also started believing your dream to be stupid and chose to abandon it. Share your dreams with only those whom you trust and are actually the propellers of your life.

    Find yourself a Mentor – Key Role in Entrepreneurship

    Someone who has already been there after many trials and turbulence is the right person to advice you. Somebody who has been there and done with can impart some priceless wisdom which you can use to carve a niche for yourself. But you must be very clear about what you will gain from the mentor-men-tee relationship. This will determine whom you can tap for assistance. The right Mentor will always short-cut your leaning process and give you the push you need and help you to stay task focused.

    Observe deeply and Practice Incessantly

    An Entrepreneur must consciously set aside some quite time to take on board any new ideas, things to learn and allow your mind to wander. You never know what your 'downtime' can fetch your business! Similarly only incessant practice will make an Entrepreneur perfect. Short cuts have never helped anyone in life. It is only your endurance for more and more practice that will give you results.

    Seek Challenges in Life

    The yardstick of success of an Entrepreneur is measured by the challenges he / she has overcome. Never be scared to consciously seek challenges in your Entrepreneurial life. Remember challenges are not setback of life. They are simply life's way of requesting you to make full use of the resources and tools available with you to resolve them.

    As an Entrepreneur you must have the skill set to select the right tool at the right time to overcome the challenge.

    Welcome Criticism – Challenge in Entrepreneurship

    In your journey as an Entrepreneur, be ready to welcome criticism from associates / citizens / clients / and sometimes even friends and family. There will be people out, there highly critical of your product / service. You must possess the gall to take such criticism in your stride and take them positively. If praise motivates you, then criticism must stimulate you to do better and better, not the opposite. If you cannot accept criticism, then your ego is getting in the way of your best judgement.

    Be Self Driven not Ego Driven

    An Entrepreneur must be proud, confident, self assured but not ego driven. Be humble and let your feet be planted firmly on the ground. Let your actions and achievements speak for you, not your boating and bragging. The more you brag, the more will sound phony. Remember, it is the empty vessel which makes the most noise.

    Carve a niche for yourself

    An entrepreneur must try to find out his niche area. Each of us has a special ability, a quite story which sets us apart from others. Play around with this strength and craft your own persona. Of you try to become a carbon copy of some you admire, you will never be able to make a name for yourself. Remember, the original always looks better than the copy. So leave your idol on the pedestal to be admired from a distance.

    What Goes Around Comes Back.

    As an Entrepreneur, you must try and help and benefit others. Give whatever you have in abundance- your time. your service or knowledge to those who are badly in need of it. You will be amazed at what you stand to gain when you give it to others.

    Value Learning over Money – Basics of Entrepreneurship

    An Entrepreneur sets up an enterprise for profit motive and rightly so. But if you start your business with the 'Show me the money' attitude, rest be assured that you will not go very far! Instead show humility and value what you have learnt in your journey as an Entrepreneur. Money will follow you steadily and surely, if you apply what you have learnt.

    Be Thankful

    Be thankful that you could become an Entrepreneur, be thankful that you could learn your failures, be thankful that you are at the receiving end of so many blessings and above all, be thankful that you are alive!

    Gratitude always unlocks the fullness of your life and indeed will make you the celebrated "A Successful" Entrepreneur.

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    Source by Akshay Lendey

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  • How To Get Him To Make A Decision To Marry You In 30 Days

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    There is a way you can get him to marry you. You will understand and learn how and why certain things must be done to accomplish this. This method is fairly simple but it will take some courage on your part. It all depends on how badly you want to marry this man.

    Before we go any further, you need to make absolutely sure that this man is the one for you. You must be sure that this relationship is a good fit for you. Are your needs getting met? The simple fact that he has not married you, says that what he wants is more important than what you want. Don’t rationalize that your needs are not as important as his needs. That is a recipe for disaster. It is critical that you take some time to think seriously about this because there is no turning back.

    There is no such thing as a commitment phobic man who is afraid to commit. That is total hogwash. Do not accept any other excuses either. Because that is what it is, plain and simple, an excuse! He just doesn’t want to marry you and feels he has to give you some kind of reason. If you have made the mistake of moving in with him without at least an engagement ring, you are in a very frustrating and powerless position. He has no incentive to marry you because he is not gaining anything he doesn’t already have. If you are with him all the time and he knows you love him, he really doesn’t have anything to worry about. You need to change all this by being proactive instead of reacting to everything he does.

    These techniques work. They are time-tested and have worked down through the centuries. And this is why it is up to you to make sure that this is the right man for you. These techniques will not make him into a loving and kind man if he not already that when you marry him. So beware.

    What you need to do is absolutely make up your mind that this has gone on long enough and it is time he married you. If you truly believe this, he will sense you believe it too and that you really mean what you are saying to him. You need to tell him in a loving but firm manner that it is obvious that he will never marry you and that you have made up your mind that you are ready to find someone who will. Then you need to move out and not have any contact with him for 30 days, unless he is proposing marriage.

    You will be activating his fear of losing you and the life he has come to enjoy with you. This will cause him to do one of two things. One, he will ask you to marry him as he knows that is the only way he can maintain his life with you. Or, he will not respond and you will have your answer there as well, which will clearly reveal that he does not care enough to meet your needs. And do you really want a man like that? No.

    More than likely he will try to contact you repeatedly and will propose marriage or present you with an engagement ring. During this time you must not cave in. Remember that this is the only way you will get what you need. Congratulations! You had the courage to stand up for yourself and demand that your needs are as important as his.

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    Source by Betty L Nelson Adam

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  • Mad Max: Fury Road Relationship Between Max and Furiosa

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    Mad Max Fury Road is a story that involves two people by the name Max and Furiosa who are held captive and are trying to escape from Hamlet. Max is suffering outrageous fortunes but he is learning from the fortunes while Furiosa has decided to oppose her troubles by taking arms against the leaders of Hamlet. The two characters cannot trust each other at first but due to their circumstances they are forced to rely on each other. Love is humanized in the film where much deeper conventions of love are stricken. Max is a loner and a survivor who has been traumatized in a world where people see him as a blood bag. On the contrary Furiosa is scheming a plan to help five women who have been enslaved in Hamlet. Max does not trust Furiosa and in most parts of the film he holds a gun on her.

    In the middle of these desperate attempts to escape from their chasers Max and Furiosa are forced to depend on each other. In many love stories people fall in love due to opportunities provided by circumstances. The alignment of stars and personal chemistry makes this happen. Every step of the relationship between Max and Furiosa is dictated by their circumstances where the only choice they are left with is to depend and rely on each other and to trust each other in order to escape. In a critical scene Furiosa asks Max his name but he refuses to tell her. In the end Max finally tells Furiosa his name where there are significant happenings throughout the film. These moments appear and vanish in the film through chaos and apocalyptic alienation. Max and Furiosa form an alliance where they try to fight motorcycles that are shooting at them. He leaves her to go to a mission which may be fatal but fears no one would notice if he dies in the mission. Max talks Furiosa out of a suicide mission when he says “you know hope is a mistake”. Max eventually decides hope is not a mistake and went back to Furiosa where he joins her and they plan to oppose the forces against them.

    At the end of the film Max does not stay with Furiosa but he leaves and eventually disappears into the crowd. A modern viewer can resonate with this film in that modern man is alienated from himself, from the world and from fellow men. Everyone is alone, with a deep sense of insecurity, guilt and anxieties which are results of separation that cannot be overcome. Like Max lost his identity in the opening moments, man has lost his identity too, and is overcome by powerful forces that own him. Like Furiosa man tries to search for a community and the only thing he finds is a desert.

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    Source by Jeremiah Otieno Odhiambo

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  • Why Do You Need an Attorney for Marital Arrangements and Settlements?

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    It is very unfortunate, when you are on the verge to sign a divorce agreement. But in spite of the emotional breakdown, you have to be caution before signing any agreement of settlement framed by the attorney of your spouse. If you do not agree with the settlements mentioned in the drafts, do not sign, rather look forward to hire a prolific divorce lawyer who is famous in handling most critical divorce cases.

    What are the qualities your attorney must have?

    Before hiring a divorce attorney to defend you for the case make sure that the legal professional and qualified enough to handle such critical case. Hence, it is recommended to hire a lawyer from a known countenance.

    If you have to appoint the legal practitioner without any reference, go through the website of the expert. Check the testimonials and the area of expertise. Moreover, check the reviews of the lawyer and how many successful marital agreement and settlement cases he/she has handled? Checking the license of the lawyer is also suggested.

    If you want to stay confident about all the mentioned pointers, consult a reputed attorney or a well-known solicitor firm that has the strong background of defending marital separation and settlement cases.

    Hire an attorney to write the agreement

    Often the departing married couples decide their own terms and depending on that they try to write their own agreements. But it is strongly recommended that even for a mutual agreement settlement you should afford a lawyer. These legal masterminds have the expertise to draft the lines with the legal twist that covers everything that have been decided among the divorcing couples. Often the self-drafted papers look vague and unclear. Moreover, the opponent can take advantage of the unclear data and blackmail the other spouse in future. This can also call for another case. Hence, to stay away from all such anticipated debaucheries, it is better to hire a lawyer and get him/her write the agreement.

    Handling the agreement of child custody

    The children of the separating parents have to go through several traumas and troublesome time. Therefore, lawyers of both the parties and the court are compassionate about such separation cases. Usually, the children are handed over to that parent who is more responsible and economically stable to take care of the kids. Some unfortunate cases have also witnessed where both the parents are not interested to take their children. During this critical situation, the court takes care of the kids and they are handed over to homes. But if your case is different and you want to fight for your kids, you need to hire an experienced lawyer that can ensure that the children will be will you.

    Therefore, before signing the agreement of the custody let your Attorney read the drafts thoroughly so that you may not be misguided or cheated by the opponent about the custody of your kids.

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    Source by Garfield Langmuir Logan

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  • Addiction Marketing

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    “Addiction Marketing” is a phrase I coined a few years back while waiting in line for my drink at Starbucks. I was observing the mass of people who like lost explorers in the desert rushing for an oasis seemed to be desperate for their daily (if not more frequent) fix of caffeine. It was at that moment that I realized that one of Starbucks key business drivers, if not their most critical business driver, was that Starbucks sells products that cater to peoples addictive tendencies. What Starbucks has done better than many other addictive marketers is that they also make it cool and trendy to succumb to your addiction. In today’s blog post I’ll examine addiction as a key success factor in business.

    When I was in school economics professors would lecture on using supply and demand drivers to create a business advantage…business professors would evangelize the strengths of the recurring value and stability of consumable products…marketing professors would espouse the benefits of relationship marketing, but nowhere do I recall being able to register for a class on addiction. However if you think about “Addiction Marketing” you’ll quickly realize what the “media pushers” on Madison Avenue and the product development and marketing gurus in the corporate world have known for years…all people have their unique set of vulnerabilities that if creatively and effectively exploited will lead to strong sales and powerful brands.

    If you read the business news over the weekend you’ll have noticed that the Indian government is attempting to force Coca Cola and Pepsi to divulge the formulas to their popular beverage products. One of the charges being upheld in the Indian High Court is that Coke and Pepsi products are addictive and unhealthy…Hmmm…Examine the following representative list of successful businesses and/or industries and come to your own conclusions as to whether these businesses or industries prey on the addictions of consumers world-wide to generate their revenue:

    Las Vegas – The tagline “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” caters to virtually every possible addiction under the sun…Sin City lives up to its reputation.

    Tag Body Spray – Tag’s recent commercial campaign has taken the phrase “Sex Sells” to a whole new level…In this campaign all an adolescent male needs to do is to spray himself with the Tag product and he finds himself instantly being attacked by hordes of attractive young women…If you have a teenage son, it would be a safe bet that Tag is his cologne of choice.

    The Beer and Alcohol Industry – You will be hard pressed to find a beer or alcohol company that doesn’t portray consumption of their beverage as the key ingredient to a lifestyle of fast cars, beautiful women, successful careers, etc.

    The Tobacco Industry – The tobacco industry has been publicly hammered for selling products that leverage the addictive effects of Nicotine and even with all the known health hazards smokers face, in many instances the addictive nature of the product is greater than peoples ability to make a logical decision.

    I don’t think anyone will dispute the examples noted in the above list as obviously preying on consumer’s addictive tendencies. However what about the more subtle side of the addiction business? Isn’t Starbucks using the same addictive business tactics as those industries listed above? What about companies in the luxury products sector? Companies that sell high end products and services cater to the elitist attitudes of this segment allowing consumers to make statements about their socioeconomic status based on the products they purchase. Is this not also catering to addictive tendencies?

    OK, now I’ll hit a little closer to home…What about my company’s value proposition? We sell success…Is it not possible to look at success as being an addiction? How about the social networking industry? Are social networkers and bloggers addicted to the interaction, attention, etc. that the new media platform affords? While I could go on, I think my point has been made…I’m certainly not implying that all consumers are addicts, nor am I implying that all companies are “pushers”, but I am pointing out that addiction marketing sells and that many companies use this as a strategic advantage. In fact, I believe the evidence is clear that a business can create a strong strategic advantage in sustainability if they find no ethical flaw in what I’ve coined as “Addiction Marketing”.

    The bottom line is that I love to travel and watch movies and I don’t think it makes me an escapist…I have a penchant for Starbucks (venti caramel frappacinos in particular) and I don’t think I’m a caffeine addict, I appreciate the fine clothes and quality automobiles and I don’t believe that makes me a social elitist. However I have also come to realize that my perceived addictive tendencies are clearly attempting to be preyed upon by creative and intelligent marketing and product development efforts. I’ll leave you with the following questions to ponder:

    What is the difference between pleasure and addiction?

    Do you feel “Addiction Marketing” is ethical?

    Does your company partake in addictive marketing strategies and tactics?

    And, when was the last time you made a purchase based upon your addiction?

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    Source by Mike Myatt

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  • Wrong Reasons For Getting Married – (1) Marrying Out of Sympathy

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    There are right and wrong reasons for getting married. The worst thing a person can do to oneself is to marry a wife or husband for the wrong reason. There are quite a number of wrong reasons why people marry. One of the wrong reasons and perhaps among the most prominent of the wrong reasons is marrying out of sympathy.

    There are many scenarios under this subheading of marrying out of sympathy that relationship coaches experience in the course of counseling and coaching. Some of the most common ones are when the woman gets pregnant as a result of premarital sex and getting married to a person just because one’s brother or sister jilted that person. Between these two extremes, are those who start relationships with girls who are being maltreated by those they serve. Some men get involved with the neighborhood maids or relations of their neighbors who are being maltreated. Women fall into this kind of challenge too.

    When sympathy forms the basis for a relationship with the opposite sex, it is like playing with a keg of gunpowder over a fireplace. Sympathy is a powerful emotion. It so overpowering that it becomes difficult for the parties involved to consider the critical elements in the foundation for a joyful relationship such as friendship, understanding, compatibility etc. If the man is the one sympathizing, he is so enamored into what he sees as the Good Samaritan’s job that he does not consider what stuff the woman is made off, her attitudes, desires and mindset. He does not stop to find out what life purposes she has, what goals she is focused on and how all these could jell into his own desires. If it is the woman that is sympathizing, she goes through the same emotions and also begins to think that if she saves the young man, he would remain loyal to her forever.

    Findings, however, have shown that the truth is far from what these sympathizer-lovers are thinking. If as a result of your efforts the captive is set free, he or she will do what all captives do, “flee”. Fleeing here may not mean running away from their sympathizer-lovers, though that has been known to happen with people who confess that the only feeling they had was to escape the environment. In many instances, the sympathizer-lovers begin to act as saviors and lordships. This is usually resisted, first psychologically and later verbally. And there goes your peace and comfort.

    Marriage relationship requires that both parties are open to each other. Open – meaning that there are no secrets in their hearts that the other partner would not be allowed into. Once these secret feelings are there, it produces reactive communication instead of responsive communication.

    These sympathy missions when it emanates from the premarital sex pregnancy, the woman does not fully get happy in the relationship. This arises from the fact that as the usual challenges appear in the scene, instead of the woman finding a good reason to endure; she only thinks she is in a mess occasioned by the pregnancy. Some have confessed that if they did not get pregnant, there is no way they would end up with the man they are married to. Instead of seeing the usual marriage and child rearing challenges as learning opportunities, they mortify themselves for getting pregnant. And some of the time, they blame the man for putting them in the family way. Some blame the child that resulted from the pregnancy. Hatred for a child has been known to have grown from such situations creating lasting bitterness.

    For the men, having not evaluated the character, demeanor, temperament of their spouse before marriage because of the overpowering influence of the emotion of sympathy, when the woman shows her real character, they are usually overwhelmed. They see themselves as having made terrible mistakes. They now live the rest of their lives in regret, withdrawal or wickedness or under the influence of these three negative but powerful emotions.

    It is necessary that we have it ingrained in the tablet of our hearts that the only reasons good enough for marrying anybody are the foundational elements for joyful relationship. If while in a relationship with the opposite sex there is no opportunity to build friendship and if an understanding of the basic purpose of marriage is not clear to both of you, then there is no other reason why the relationship should continue beyond the next few hours.

    Interestingly, many marriages out there are based on sympathy.

    Young single adults (18-30 years of age) and single adults (31 years and above) should not marry anybody for the purpose of saving face or to save somebody from suffering. Instead of cornering yourselves to this quagmire, why not follow the appropriate dating, courtship and engagement practices where no sexual intimacy is included. There is need to remember that sexual intimacy is only appropriate in a legally and lawfully wedded marriage contract. You need to remember that the basic purpose of sexual intimacy is mainly for procreation and to cement companionship.

    The excitement and pleasure that accompany sexual intercourse is purposed to invite people to take the responsibility that comes with it. Any other use of sexual intimacy outside legal and lawful matrimony is a transgression of the law. And law breakers must bear the full weight of the law. In most cases, there would be no external police to arrest you and no external court to try you and no external prison to sentence you. But there are internal version of the police, the court and the prison and a large farmland where your hard labor would be performed if you commit this offense.

    What is the way to go?

    Here is the way to go. Instead of focusing on sympathy, those planning to get married should focus on what matters most – the purpose of marriage – companionship and procreation. Remember the good Lord Himself said of Adam in the scriptures: “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), hence He made Eve to keep him company. Do not forget also that the same Creator gave them a commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). This is the creator’s approval for sexual intimacy in marriage relationship with the intents and purposes clearly spelled out, though. Latter-day prophets have clearly stated that “sex between a man and a woman in a legal and lawful marriage is ordained of God”. These are the foundational elements that must be established before continuing in the plan for marriage with someone. Both parties ought to know and understand this fully. This knowledge and understanding would bear relationships as the foundation of a building bears it. Marrying for any other reason is like standing the building on its roof.

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    Source by Francis Nmeribe

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