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The Essence of Technical Writing

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The Gist of Technical Writing

Technical writing, though may seem to be complex outwardly, is not that much complicated when approached in a pragmatic and systematic way. To make it simple, technical writing is just the process of peeling the outer chunky cover of the complexity of the entailed subject and showing the common reader the right way to feel the inner softness at ease.

The Objective of Technical Writing

Technical Writing is the process of taking away the toughness of the subject and making it simple and straightforward so that even ordinary readers who do not possess the grasp of the subject can easily digest the topic. A technical writer must be capable to assimilate the subject technical communication in its entirety and must be competent enough to translate the same into a commonly used language avoiding all of the included technical jargon.

Though the subjects can vary, an expert technical writer will have to be skillful in providing the readers practical and precise content regarding the discussed subject in an ordinary language. The topic may be based on issues such as computer snags, recently launched innovative apps, description of a consumer gadget, mobile phones, computer tablets, medical items, or many other such things that are par for the course of modern living. A talented technical writer will delve deep into the subject and will gather all the relevant practical points and then will pass them to the readers without losing the grip of the subject, but, in a simple language. There lies the real significance of a technical writer.

Give Valuable Information to Readers

One of the main points that all technical writers will have to take care is to include valuable information that will be useful to the readers rather than detailing the apparent technical data. Readers will be more interested in knowing what the item concerned will impart them, rather than the physical or technical specifications. That does not mean that the writer must completely avoid such technical details; the only thing that he or she must ensure that the detailing must be customer-oriented.

One Basic Tip

To become a good writer, one should become a good reader and when the topic comes to technical writing, the writer must be clued-up on the latest technological advancements. The writer must absorb the scientific advancements as and when it comes to pass, and in our time the best bet for it is to rely on the effectiveness of the various internet platforms. In short, all technical writers must comprehend and assimilate the subject concerned fully before trying to pass on to the readers.

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Source by Kaliyath Achutha Kumar

Views: 0

February 10, 2020
Ten Ways to Offer Better Customer Service
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Today’s savvy customers not only want excellent service, they often expect it. Customer service was the main quality focus of growth and improvement for companies in the last few decades, which is why many now expect it. Companies can lose customers over bad customer service and may retain customers who feel treated respectfully. How well customer service works depends greatly on the attitude and training of company human resources, even those not in the service areas. Below are a few ways everyone can improve their customer service skills and attitudes.
1. Always smile when speaking with the customer, whether in person or on the phone. Smiling lifts your attitude and the positive ness can be heard in your voice.
2. Greet customers by saying hello, giving them your name, and asking them how you can help.
3. Whenever possible, be empathetic. Let the customer know you understand their feelings and want to be of help in solving their problem.
4. Be sure to ask for their name so you can call them by it when responding. This makes the conversation seem more one-on-one friendly rather than combative. If you are on the phone, get their phone number too in case you become disconnected or need to do research. With their phone number, you can call them back if necessary.
5. If you must put a phone customer on hold or your computers are down, let them know how long the hold or downtime might be. If it will be more than a couple of minutes, you should give them the option of holding or having you calling them back when you have completed your research or when the computers come back up. The customer may choose to call you back, but never tell them that is what they must do. Be sure to call them back in the stated timeframe even if it is only to say you still do not have an answer. Lack of communication is often more frustrating for a customer than having to wait a little longer for results.
6. If the customer is angry or determined to complain, stay calm and don’t take their criticism personally. Ask questions so you can get to the root of the problem or issue. However, do consider their criticism as suggestions for future improvement of your company processes and services.
7. If you do not have an answer for the customer, do not make something up. Instead find someone who can give you the correct answer. Customers don’t like being lied to or patronized.
8. Find the best way to resolve the problem and satisfy your customer without having to go through multiple levels of approval or breaking any rules. Multiple levels of approval only slow the process down and do not help the customer, so avoid them whenever possible. However, if you must get an approval, let the customer know the process and how long it may take and exactly when they can expect a result. You can often go the extra mile for the customer without breaking any rules or going against written policies.
9. Once the customer’s problem is resolved, ask if you can be of any help with anything else. Be sure to thank the customer before saying goodbye.
10. Always remember the golden rule is the best rule of thumb for customer service “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
These are simple ideas to improve customer service skills and attitudes in employees. It is important to always remember that customers today expect excellent customer service and will go where they can find it. Companies lose customers over bad service. So offer great service instead to help retain customers.

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Source by Shirley Lee

Views: 0
February 9, 2020
Secrets of the Piggyback Marketer

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Owner/Producer of SIMPLEnetworking, Chi Chi Okezie is an expert in piggyback marketing and uses other people’s resources to grow her business, credibility and brand-name. Never stingy with information, Chi Chi has graciously enlightened us with five points on piggyback marketing as follows…

#1 “Civil Servant”

Golden Rule in Piggyback Marketing, “You keep what you give away.”

Volunteering is the biggest, best and most effective tool in Piggyback Marketing. When you volunteer with a big company or organization, doors swing open in your favor. Whether you are donating money, time or services, you position yourself into a group of like minded, generous and business oriented “do-gooders”. Latching onto a credible name or brand will drastically increase your visibility and add dimension to your efforts.

#2 “Moonlighting”

Start teaching a continuing education class or an evening course at a well known state or private institution. Pick a course or topic in which you are an expert. By teaching the class, you are building your credibility and developing great skills in research, communication and public speaking. You are automatically associated with the state or private institution and can leverage that for business. The class becomes another product which you can market to your clients and potential customers.

#3 “Club Hopping”

Join a club, chamber of commerce, business organization etc. and become an active member. Usually, clubs/organizations are members of bigger clubs and organizations. You can approach the director/president of your group and ask to be a representative of that group or organization which is a member of a bigger group, organization or chamber of commerce. Next thing you know, you will be seated or rubbing elbows with board members and significant decision makers!

#4 “Show Your School Spirit”

Get involved in your school alumni chapter and attend events or join a committee. Your position within the chapter can be a direct link in marketing your business to fellow alumni as well as school departments and students. Also offer to do class presentations, mentor students or be a recruiter/liaison. If there is not a chapter in your city, contact the alumni dept. and suggest one – you can be the President!

5# “Half Time Show”

Do you know any colleagues, entrepreneurs or other professionals who present seminars, classes, workshops or talks? If so, offer to do a quick presentation during their breaks to promote your brand, industry, products or services. Or you can opt to introduce the speaker/lecturer at an event. If you can make a dynamic introduction or pull off a great presentation during a break, potential customers will flock to you for business!

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Source by Chi Chi Okezie

Views: 0

February 9, 2020
Why God Is Your Doctor

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You have to believe that God will help you become a better person and that your life will be more meaningful. If you don’t have faith you don’t have the courage to do what is necessary in order to eliminate your evil self.

So, you cannot triumph over all challenges. You accept the evil suggestions of your satanic anti-conscience. You don’t believe that your sense of morality has a meaning.

God is alive and sends you enlightening messages in dreams. Now your faith in God is not based only on your religiosity. You have proof that God exists and you can have a direct communication with Him through dream messages.

Therefore, you must trust God’s wisdom and always respect His commandments.

You have to believe that God will help you in the situation you are. Your faith will help you be with God. You will feel that you are not alone.

However, in order to be with God you have to respect His rules in all situations of life, even when you feel that you are in a terrible position. Sometimes you have to accept suffering in order to become a better person. If you never accept suffering you have the behavior of a cruel demon. So, you make many people suffer. You have to accept suffering when it is necessary.

You want to protect your selfish and proud ego, but this is not what you must do in order to find sound mental health. You have to be a balanced person.

If you are indifferent to what is bad because you are selfish and lazy, your satanic anti-conscience will take advantage of your irresponsible attitude and generate a mental disorder within your conscience.

You want to agree with the philosophy of life of the commercial and immoral world. You don’t want to change your personality even after verifying that you make many mistakes.

However, you have to follow your doctor’s guidance in order to be cured.

The intelligent and helpful messages contained in your dreams prove that God is your doctor and that you have many negative tendencies. You have to change your personality and become a better person until you will attain sanctity. This is how all your mental health problems will be completely eliminated forever.

You will attain higher consciousness and become a true genius, but you cannot arrive to this point without having a map. You have to obey your doctor to achieve this goal, even though you tend to be disobedient because you have an evil nature.

You have to be an obedient student and patient and precisely follow God’s instructions, independently of your personal opinion. God’s wisdom is safe. Your opinion is dangerous because it is based on ignorance and suppositions.

This is why God sends you many warnings in dreams. You have to follow His plan and accept to change your personality. Your evil self must be completely eliminated.

You have the impression that your evil self is necessary, but this is a misleading impression imposed by your satanic anti-conscience. You don’t need to be evil in any situation. Evilness is craziness.

You must be wise and sensitive in all situations of life. You must respect God’s commandments and truly desire to attain sanctity.

Science helped humanity discover the importance of dreams and religion, the existence of God, and the existence of Satan. Now you have scientific explanations that help you understand the meaning of every religion.

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Source by Christina Sponias

Views: 0

February 7, 2020
MLM As a Business Tool

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Multi-level marketing or MLM for short is one of the fastest -rising star in business. It is easy to set up, fast to do and not very difficult to manage as long as you manage a tight ship and create a structure without the holes. These reasons, however, are also the ones that made multi-level marketing as a business tool notorious. People who are out to rob other people of their hard-earned money, used the business structure to create scams. I am sure you have heard of the pyramid scams. The models they used are similar to multi-level marketing except that they are not legitimate business with no legitimate products.

As a business tool, MLM is ingenious. Instead of creating stores and distributing through the usual channels, MLM makes use of ordinary people and their wide range of contacts. It actually takes advantage of the fact that communication now is so much better than before. This means that people you have not even seen in decades can easily be contacted. And the more contacts you have, the better for multi-level marketing because in essence, you will be using their contacts too.

To make you understand MLM much better, here is how it goes. A company with products recruits distributors that will help them sell their products to people. Usually what big companies do is look for big companies who can put their products in the market. The same concept is applied to multi-level marketing except that people act as distributors and not companies. It’s the marriage of distributorship and the legendary Avon way of selling, direct to consumers. This actually gets the best of both worlds.

With this business tool, multi-level marketing companies recruits people who can directly distribute their products to consumers. These people however do not just sell the products, they can also recruit people who can help them sell their products. Thus, increasing their total sales. When a lot of people are already part of one person, this is already considered as a group and group sales are often rewarded with commissions. In fact, the more people you have, the bigger sales you will naturally have. This is the principle of multilevel marketing.

The beauty of this business tool is the fact that products are sold directly to people and yet you have people under you to help you do it. To earn a commission, you don’t need to actually sell the products yourself. You can recruit people to do it for you and then have them do the work. This is ideal for people who have a lot of contacts and network that they can use. Some people do not even have to meet in person to strike a business deal. This is especially true if the MLM company has offices in different states and countries.

One word of caution though when thinking of joining a company that engages in multi-level marketing is to see if they have legitimate products that they can actually sell. You should also see if the company is also a legitimate one. This means it needs to have some manufacturing plant and a main office and business structure to qualify as legitimate. This separates companies that uses it as a business tool and companies that are out to just scam people. Knowing the difference can make save you a lot of effort and of course hard-earned money.

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Source by Terez Dunn

Views: 0

February 7, 2020
Saving a Long Distance Relationship: How Do You Know When It’s Heading For The Rocks?

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When you or your significant other are forced to move away for whatever reason, the necessity of saving a long distance relationship is the last thing on your mind. However, the chances are that neither of you has any real idea how to make your long distance relationship work.

Initially you’re both head over heels in love and, while you’re sad at the idea of being apart, you’re both determined that nothing will stop you from being together. You make all the usual promises to each other and for a while things are great. The problem is that in all probability you never got down to the nitty gritty reality of what it would actually be like to be hundreds or even thousands of miles apart, so you’re not prepared for the loneliness that inevitably comes as part of a long distance relationship package.

The initial elation and determination to be together no matter what begins to fade slowly and inevitably, and that’s usually when the insecurities start to set in.

You begin wondering what your partner’s up to. Perhaps they don’t appear to be missing you as much as you’re missing them; maybe they’re not available to talk when you need to. If you’re the one left behind you have the added knowledge that your lover has started a new job and of course you imagine them meeting lots of new people and having a really exciting time. Of course it’s not always the person left behind who has the problems. In your relationship, maybe you’re the one starting the new job and you don’t know anybody. Perhaps you think of your partner back at home surrounded by friends and family and you wonder if they are missing you like you’re missing them, or even if they’re thinking of you at all. But whatever your situation, that feeling of insecurity is horrible and so soul destroying.

You want to talk to your partner but you’re struggling to communicate because you’re frightened of the potential fall-out; that if your lover knew how you really felt, then your relationship would end. At this point, saving a long distance relationship is still not on your mind because the chances are that you are burying your head firmly in the sand, not realizing that by not talking to each other, your relationship is heading inexorably to the rocks.

Eventually loneliness gives way to frustration. You’re not getting what you want out of the relationship so you start to become resentful. Very often at this point it becomes all about you – what your lover wants doesn’t seem to matter.

Slowly frustration begins to turn to anger. Everyone around you seems to be in a relationship in which they’re surgically glued to one another’s side. Your friends and family thinks you’re crazy and give you all kinds of well meaning advice; unfortunately, it’s mostly negative and probably doesn’t involve actually saving a long distance relationship!

Whether you recognize it or not, you are now both firmly at the point of desperately needing to save your long distance relationship and, if neither of you take action, you begin to lose all sense of actually being in a relationship at all and drift towards the final stage in any long distance relationship break down – detachment.

One or both of you allow the resentment and frustration to get the better of you and slowly begin to withdraw into yourself. Your communication dwindles to almost non-existent and when you do speak, neither of you have anything to say.

Maybe at this point saving a long distance relationship seems almost impossible with everything seemingly working against you, but before you get on the phone and end it all, I want to say one final thing: It doesn’t have to be like that!

Ask yourselves this question: Do you and your partner love each other? If the answer to that question is ‘yes’ then, believe me you can save your long distance relationship.

If the love is still there underneath all of the crap that has gotten in the way, you really can halt the slide and pull it back together. Distance doesn’t have to be a deal breaker and you don’t have to be in the same room to share that special intimacy.

It won’t happen overnight, but if you’re both truly prepared to work at it, you won’t only be saving a long distance relationship but making it better than you ever thought possible.

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Source by Beverley Watts

Views: 0

February 6, 2020
Emotional Resilience in Children

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Emotional resilience is the ability to cope with stressful life experiences, disappointments, and challenges in an effective and meaningful way that helps to preserve self-esteem, build social aptitude, and prevent frustration, anger, and even depression. Emotional resilience learned early in life assists in recovering from misfortunes and disappointments, thus fostering emotional health.

Teaching your child to be emotionally resilient will help him / her be in control and build confidence to work through challenging situations effectively. Becoming emotionally resilient in childhood will provide a basic foundation for your child's emotional health in adolescence and adulthood.

Emotions shape your child's interactions with others and affect his or her behaviors resulting from those interactions. In order to prevent conflict, or deal with conflict effectively when it arises, your child should learn to understand his or her feelings, be able to identify them, and regulate them. It is important to teach children there is a whole gamut of emotions that can be expressed in various ways. However, knowing how to express them in a meaningful way will help your child in solving social conflicts and maintaining relationships. One way of promoting development of emotional competence is to help your child develop vocabulary that expresses feelings. Parents can also assist their children in recognizing various emotions and teaching them that emotions can be changed by their thinking.

Emotions are driven by behaviors. However, children must learn that emotions should not take control over their actions. It is crucial for children to know that expressing feelings helps in preventing and resolving problems. They need to be taught that bottled-up feelings lead to misunderstandings, anxiety, anger, and depression.

When your child does not express emotions, he or she is more likely to experience angry outbursts that might come from being sad, embarrassed, or frustrated. Perhaps, your child feels guilty about something he or she did, is afraid, or feels helpless and chooses to express those negative feelings of emotional stress with angry outbursts. This inability to deal with stress in a constructive way most of the time stems from the lack of understanding one's own emotions, emotions of others, and lacking the ability to express feelings effectively.

Signs of Emotional Fragility

– Regression of behaviors
– Withdrawal
– Excessive clinginess
– Bedwetting
– Nightmares
– Aggression

One of the most important things a parent can do to foster a child's healthy emotional development is to promote positive family communication. That includes positive reinforcement, which is praising your child for positive behaviors, giving encouragement, and avoidance of negative criticism when expected results are not achieved. Also, providing consistency is extremely important for a child's emotional health, as it aids in avoiding ambiguity and uncertainty. If a child knows what's expected of him or her, they will most likely comply, thus avoiding frustration, anger, and possibly humiliation.

Younger children might be more open and willing to express their feelings. In adolescence, family communication might become more challenging as the teen tries to suppress their feelings in an attempt to resolve them alone. Parenting teenagers requires patience and the ability to be supportive. Frequently, conversation with your teen at home might be extremely difficult. However, your teen may try to open up while riding with you in a car where there is no eye contact, thus the confrontation seems to be less intimidating. Building a sound foundation of emotional resilience in childhood will help your adolescent achieve emotional health. Should getting through to your child become impossible, or he or she becomes withdrawn and exhibits signs of emotional instability, don't be afraid to seek help. You may start by talking to another family member, a friend, or a counselor.

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Source by Monika B. Pis, Ph.D.

Views: 0

February 5, 2020
How Nootropics Make You A Better Entrepreneur

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Just imagine a pill you can take to enhance your points of view, increase your memory, and make you more productive. In it sounds like an ultimate life hack, you’re not the only one.

There are pills that guarantee that out there, yet how they work is a little complicated.

These pills are known as nootropics or smart drugs.

So what are nootropics?

Nootropics are a class of brain power enhancing supplements that are utilized to enhance focus and help to boost memory. Nootropics are regularly used to increase capacity to focus, help people concentrate more and reduce anxiety.

You will often observe Nootropics called as “smart drugs” as they are connected with increased intelligence, focus and motivation.

Be they are not at all like brilliant medications which can frequently bring about negative reactions or side effects with long term use. Nootropics are safe to use and pose a low risk of any side effects if used properly.

Numerous nootropics have similar systems of working by improving communication between neurons in your brain, adjusting neurotransmitter levels or by balancing brain cell health.

They also improve metabolism of your neurons, support neuroplasticity, or even support the development of new neurons and neurotransmitters.

How Nootropics work?

There are various sorts of Nootropic supplements accessible. Also, there are distinctive classifications and “families” of Nootropics, for example, Racetams and Ampakines.

Each of these particular supplements work in different ways and have different working mechanism. Given this, there is not one answer to the question “How Do Nootropics Work?” rather a wide range of answers.

There are however some basic ways in which nootropics work and modulate the neutrons in your brain. One of them is listed below

Together, the neurotransmitters and the receptors make up a “framework.” There are an immense huge number of these neuronal frameworks inside the mind.

What a Nootropic supplement does, generally, is to explicitly target and increase the proficiency of those frameworks which result in enhanced cognitive abilities.

How Nootropics will make you a better entrepreneur?

The initial step for an entrepreneur is to investigate what they are doing battling against. For some (myself included) it is to enhance focus and effectiveness during the working hours was my primary objective.

Diehard business people working 18-hour days require to last longer during the day and work normally when sleep deprived.

This is where nootropic role come into play. Below are the benefits of nootropics that will help you to become a better entrepreneur.

1. Increase concentration

Before you consider enhancing your memory capacities, you should first increase your concentration. Nootropics can help with that, particularly in case you can’t concentrate on a particular work over a longer period of time. This is a noteworthy issue with entrepreneurs who encounter inconvenience in concentrating for longer hours of work.

2. Enhances memory

It is easy to read and comprehend a specific topic but the vast majority discover it somewhat troublesome to recover data from their memory. Nootropics have appeared to have beneficial outcome on a man’s memory.

It enhances and repairs all parts of your memory capacities, including the working memory and recall. It additionally supports brain cell development and enhances the connections between the neurons. Aside from these advantages, they additionally repair the neuron, which thusly gives a help in comprehension of data information and recalling it.

3. Improves brain health

With busy schedule and poor diet, out brain takes a genuine bashing. Nootropics not only enhance your memory and information investigation but also improves the overall health of brain. They increases oxygen stream to the brain and maintains neurons and brain cells which keeps the brainwaves casual and more effective.

4. Better mood

The primary reason behind why many individuals can’t concentrate and focus at a specific task is foul mood. A few studies demonstrate that improper eating habits and sleeping habits can affect your mood. Nootropics can boost and stimulate mood enhancing neuroreceptors which makes your mood better and helps you to concentrate more.

Conclusion

Being an entrepreneur is not an easy job. You have to think outside the box that will make your business grow. Nootropics can help you to concentrate more and help you make your product awesome. If with a single nootropic you do not see significant results, you can combine different nootropics to see greater results. This is known as nootropic stacks.

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Source by Ritika Singh

Views: 0

February 4, 2020
Learning The Keys To Submission In Marriage

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It is a divine law for wives to be submissive to their own husbands if they are to have a blissful marriage (Ephesians 5:22). Some wives would like to do so, but they do not know how. The keys to effectively submit to the one they love are here. Take them. Apply them. Enjoy that marriage of your dream.

Submission is willingly putting oneself under an authority. The proud and ungodly, says it is foolish to be submissive, but to the humble and godly, it is wisdom. Every wise woman builds her house; but the foolish plucks it down with her own hands (Proverbs14:1). When we refuse to do God’s word we expose our lives to the influence of the devil, who comes in to steal, to kill and to destroy peace in marriages. God’s word is a road map to anyone who adopts it. Therefore, a wife’s submission to her husband is not to debase her in any way nor to advocate her husband’s supremacy. It is wisely recognising and fulfilling her complimentary role in the marriage union. If we will let this mind be in us, the struggle for supremacy, pride, arrogance, and rebellion in homes would stop. Let us examine some of those keys to learn.

The first key is that submission must come from your heart. Until submission takes its root in your heart it will not endure when pressure comes. This is why women who conditionally submit to their husbands soon become rebellious when the motivation for it fades. Make your heart tender with the Word of God. You might ask how? Use the Word of God. When you hear the Word of God on submission, receive it with meekness and joy; keep it and do it patiently until the fruits become evident for all to see. Learn to diligently guard your heart against the subtle voice of the devil trying to steal those lofty Words you have heard.

Meditation on the Word on submission is a second key you need to learn. Ensure you meditate on the word of God you hear until it becomes a part of your being so that it can bear fruit in your marriage. Speak words that will boost the morale of your spouse. Speak edifying words to your marriage. Take positive actions that will truly prove you are the submissive wife of God’s dream.

The third step is to take practical steps against rebellion in your heart. One of such steps is to mind the company you keep. The bible says evil communication corrupts good manners. It is time to deprogram your life of those worldly associations that have programmed you for rebellion against the peace of your mind. Let those of them in captivity seek deliverance. You are a free child of God. So, be it! Remove those books and movies that are contrary to the Word of God from your shelf. You don’t need them. Take a stand. It is in your own interest.

Added to the above is absolute love for your spouse. Perfect love casts out fear, the fear of dominion. If you truly loved him you would submit to him in all things. You will not be afraid of him dominating you because submission attracts love. Let your love for him be tangibly expressed. Overcome that fear with your expressed love.

Above all, both partners should submit to God. The husband’s submission to God will attract same level of submission from his wife. Abraham submitted to God and Sarah submitted to Abraham.

In conclusion, every great marriage must make God’s word the standard for living. God’s word advocates submission as the key to a successful marriage. Therefore accept it.

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Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

Views: 0

February 4, 2020
Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

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February 3, 2020