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Tag: Challenges

Overcoming Mindset Challenges

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We all have those days, we drop our heads and get down on ourselves; you might even let out a few expletive words for good measure. Our pickleball play is just not up to our, or the USAPA player rating standard. It’s frustrating. I’ll let you in on a secret I learned long ago from a coach who pushed us to achieve; your state of mind or your mindset, plays an enormous role in your successes and failure.

Carol Dweck, author of Mindset, identifies 2 types of mind-sets; fixed and growth. The fixed mindset has shaped you from birth, it is what you are and has defined your belief in your potential. An innate conviction fashioned from external influences and internally interpreted. A fixed mindset, sees obstacles when faced with change and challenges and therefore will interpret failure as self-defeating in the lack of abilities. It’s like looking on the other side of the court and thinking that the grass is greener – your opponents seem to have all the right moves and it’s your lack of something that is keeping you from winning.

On the other hand, the growth mindset is one that is embryonic. Here is where belief in ourselves can help us adapt and grow in the ways we want by developing our talents through hard-work and dedication. Learning to love our development playing pickleball and also developing a resilience to loss is the key.

Hear Those “Voices”

Learning to overcome a fixed mindset challenge begins with learning to control your emotions and then you can achieve optimal performance during competition. First, you need to pay attention to those negative voices; you know the one’s – from family members that expressed failure or the one’s from coaches that uttered a lack of talent. There may have even been laughter from classmates or club memberships. A mentor who would snap when you hit a setback. You may have developed a reactive “habit” – automatic response to an emotional stimuli. Pushing those old suppressed buttons will give you a release and an understanding but despite their best intentions, this can also trigger an emotional upheaval, easily sweeping you away. Fortunately there is one way to stop the spiral of uncontrollable emotional reactions – refocusing. Consciously stepping back to draw your focus into your senses and the physical effects they may manifest; elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, nausea, tight or tense muscles, anxiety, and shallow breathing.

Acknowledge and Accept

Staying in the present moment, acknowledging that these physical effects are poignant, so you can process the information as if you are a doctor observing a patient. Comprehend your emotional arousal as an imaginary threat, and your intensified state of mental stress or physical excitement is a normal response that can be reduced by controlling your emotions. Slow down. Accept that you can help your brain learn to process new “habits” to effectively stay grounded; stretch and breathe, visualize or focus on energizing cues that epitomize how you want to perform or transfer negative energy to positive energy.

Choice

You have a choice; interpret negative challenges or setbacks from a lack of talent fixed mindset or from a positive aptitude growth mindset. When you doubt your talent, change your focus – with time and effort, believe you can learn a particular skill or achieve a goal. If you hit a setback or face criticism, keep learning and persevere.

When the grass on the “other side” draws my attention, I stop and reframe – finding the courage in myself to think of the “water”, or successes that keeps my grass green. I still find myself under stress, and I still hear the “voice” of my fixed mindset. I have learned to face the criticism; sometimes old responses rear their ugly head and I get angry – hitting the ball without thinking and making unforced errors. Other times I am able to put those voices in their place. I interpret my challenges, and setbacks then regain my emotional control. It’s all very personal.

Over time, learning to take on the pickleball challenge wholeheartedly, gaining wisdom from setbacks, and acting on the criticisms you face by embracing the growth mindset can make it work for you.

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Source by Patricia H Kuhnen-Beaver

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February 7, 2020
Emotional Resilience in Children

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Emotional resilience is the ability to cope with stressful life experiences, disappointments, and challenges in an effective and meaningful way that helps to preserve self-esteem, build social aptitude, and prevent frustration, anger, and even depression. Emotional resilience learned early in life assists in recovering from misfortunes and disappointments, thus fostering emotional health.

Teaching your child to be emotionally resilient will help him / her be in control and build confidence to work through challenging situations effectively. Becoming emotionally resilient in childhood will provide a basic foundation for your child's emotional health in adolescence and adulthood.

Emotions shape your child's interactions with others and affect his or her behaviors resulting from those interactions. In order to prevent conflict, or deal with conflict effectively when it arises, your child should learn to understand his or her feelings, be able to identify them, and regulate them. It is important to teach children there is a whole gamut of emotions that can be expressed in various ways. However, knowing how to express them in a meaningful way will help your child in solving social conflicts and maintaining relationships. One way of promoting development of emotional competence is to help your child develop vocabulary that expresses feelings. Parents can also assist their children in recognizing various emotions and teaching them that emotions can be changed by their thinking.

Emotions are driven by behaviors. However, children must learn that emotions should not take control over their actions. It is crucial for children to know that expressing feelings helps in preventing and resolving problems. They need to be taught that bottled-up feelings lead to misunderstandings, anxiety, anger, and depression.

When your child does not express emotions, he or she is more likely to experience angry outbursts that might come from being sad, embarrassed, or frustrated. Perhaps, your child feels guilty about something he or she did, is afraid, or feels helpless and chooses to express those negative feelings of emotional stress with angry outbursts. This inability to deal with stress in a constructive way most of the time stems from the lack of understanding one's own emotions, emotions of others, and lacking the ability to express feelings effectively.

Signs of Emotional Fragility

– Regression of behaviors
– Withdrawal
– Excessive clinginess
– Bedwetting
– Nightmares
– Aggression

One of the most important things a parent can do to foster a child's healthy emotional development is to promote positive family communication. That includes positive reinforcement, which is praising your child for positive behaviors, giving encouragement, and avoidance of negative criticism when expected results are not achieved. Also, providing consistency is extremely important for a child's emotional health, as it aids in avoiding ambiguity and uncertainty. If a child knows what's expected of him or her, they will most likely comply, thus avoiding frustration, anger, and possibly humiliation.

Younger children might be more open and willing to express their feelings. In adolescence, family communication might become more challenging as the teen tries to suppress their feelings in an attempt to resolve them alone. Parenting teenagers requires patience and the ability to be supportive. Frequently, conversation with your teen at home might be extremely difficult. However, your teen may try to open up while riding with you in a car where there is no eye contact, thus the confrontation seems to be less intimidating. Building a sound foundation of emotional resilience in childhood will help your adolescent achieve emotional health. Should getting through to your child become impossible, or he or she becomes withdrawn and exhibits signs of emotional instability, don't be afraid to seek help. You may start by talking to another family member, a friend, or a counselor.

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Source by Monika B. Pis, Ph.D.

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February 5, 2020
Women Managers Leaving Corporations for Entrepreneurship

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Increasingly, women managers are choosing to “opt out” when corporations fail to meet their professional needs. Opting out–the latest catch phrase within corporate circles–describes the growing trend of leaving corporate positions for alternative career paths.

A significant number of women managers are leaving large companies to start their own businesses. In fact,

women are quitting corporate jobs in favor of entrepreneurship at twice the rate of men, making a significant impact on the traditional and online marketplace, according to Cheskin Research, a California-based strategic market research and consulting company.

Recent research indicates interesting trends for women entrepreneurs. According to the Center for Women’s Business research, the number of women-owned U.S. businesses grew at twice the rate of all firms between 1997 and 2002. And the U.S. Small Business Administration reports that women-owned businesses account for 28 percent of all privately-owned companies. They employ 9.2 million people and contribute $2.38 trillion in revenue to the U.S. economy.

Why Women Managers are Leaving Corporate America?

Women used to be willing to devote their time, energy, and effort to the corporation’s needs–at the expense of meeting their own professional goals. But not anymore. They’re starting their own businesses in an effort to gain more freedom, recognition, money, opportunities and other rewards.

Fifty-one percent of women business owners with prior private-sector experience cite the desire for more flexibility as the major reason for leaving corporate positions, according to a study by Catalyst, a nonprofit research and advisory organization working to advance professional women. Twenty-nine percent said restrictive glass-ceiling issues drove them out the door. Of those women, 44 percent felt their contributions were not recognized or valued.

“As women walk out the door after years of training,” said Catalyst President Sheila Wellington, “what really walks out is the potential that those women would have brought to Corporate America.”

The Catalyst research–co-sponsored by the National Foundation for Women Business Owners, the Committee of 200, and Salomon Smith Barney–also revealed that:

o A third of the women surveyed by said they weren’t taken seriously by their employer or supervisor.

o Fifty-eight percent of them said that nothing would attract them back to the corporate world.

o Twenty-four percent said they could be lured back by more money, and 11 percent by greater flexibility.

Keeping Women in Corporations

Experts say corporate America isn’t doing enough to keep women from walking out the door. Companies need to focus on providing flexibility, as well as continuing challenges and opportunities for personal growth, to retain women whom they view as high-potential or who are already significant contributors, says Catalyst. In addition, companies should identify potential women managers early in their careers, reward women’s bottom-line contributions, and recruit female entrepreneurs to corporate boards and senior line positions.

Expanding opportunities for women in leadership will require corporate change, as well as accommodations on the part of women themselves. Corporate cultures must support initiatives such as giving women high-visibility assignments, making gender diversity a part of succession planning and holding managers accountable for women’s advancements.

Women managers can hone their leadership ability by seeking out risky, high profile assignments. If they need to strengthen their leadership skills to meet new challenges, they should consider hiring an executive coaching firm. For example, QuadWest Associates of Michigan offers a variety of business coaching and leadership development services to help executives optimize their skills and performance.

By investing in coaching services, women managers can position themselves to expand their boundaries. This can help them excel–whether they remain in a corporate setting or strike out on their own.

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Source by Susan West

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February 4, 2020
How Drug Detox Can Help Improve Relationships
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Alcohol and drug abuse is the root cause of many problems in an individual’s life. From developing severe mental health issues and physical troubles to encountering serious challenges in one’s relationships, abuse of illegal substances is linked with innumerable adverse effects.

It is a widely known fact that long-term, committed relationships and substance abuse do not go together. Having a partner who is engaged in drinking or abusing drugs can be an insurmountable challenge, with the negative effects rippling and influencing all the near and dear ones. In worst cases, substance abuse problem can take a heavy toll by causing an emotional distance between the partners, which eventually results in frequent fights and violence at home.

Sadly, a person fighting substance abuse is deprived of the emotional connect with his or her partner resulting in the loss of trust and affection. Overall, such couples have a tough time dealing with this downward spiral, wherein a person drinks or uses drugs to reduce tension arising out of frequent conflicts, and vice versa.

Substance abuse and impact on relationships

A person abusing drugs is very likely to have a poor sex drive and may fail to maintain a healthy sexual relationship. This is because when someone is addicted to any substance, there is no room left for anything else. Some of the telltale signs that the substance abuse problem is negatively affecting one’s relationships are:
- Not taking care of responsibilities or staying out late.
- Rising instances of domestic violence.
- Isolating from friends and relatives to hide the drug or alcohol problem.
- Experiencing financial problems.
When it comes to intimate relationships, believing that one can prevent problems by avoiding sexual relationships post sobriety is incorrect. A complete recovery is possible only when a person gets enough love and care from his or her partner. Since intimate relationships are considered one of the most rewarding parts of human existence, a lack of it can leave people feeling unwanted and incomplete.

For a person recovering from an addiction, lack of sexual relationships might lead him or her to revisit the places that had triggered drug or alcohol abuse.

How detox can be helpful in restoring relationships

When a person fighting substance abuse enters a detox program, he or she needs to work harder to recover from the addiction and regain his or her ability to enjoy fruitful relationships with the loved ones. While undergoing treatment, it is important for a person to not just focus on maintaining sobriety but also reshape his or her habits and old attitudes that could act as a barrier to his or her interpersonal or intimate relationships.

While detoxification might pave the way for a person’s recover from an addiction, it is important to ensure that it also brings back his or her sexual drive. With low self-esteem and confidence, it becomes difficult for the recovering individual to even think about any personal relationship. Undergoing a detox program can be a great help in gaining enough confidence to deal with relationship problems.

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Source by Barbara Odozi

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February 2, 2020
The Success Mindset – The New Psychology of Success

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“It is not always the people who start out the smartest who end up the smartest.” Alfred Binet.

Your success quotient is made up of skills, knowledge and attitude with attitude accounting for 85%. Carol S. Dweck’s book, Mindset The New Psychology for Success, supports how important attitude is, but adds an additional premise that you have to be open to learning rather than closed to learning. According to Dweck, the world is divided between people who do and don’t have an open mindset. Those who do have an open mindset succeed, often outperform and lead happier lives as compared to those with exceptional skills and knowledge but who have a closed mindset.

Strong differences in people’s backgrounds, experiences, education and training have all been used as a way to explain why some of us achieve success and many of us fall short. According to Dweck, mindsets frame the running account taking place in people’s heads. They guide how you interpret things. The fixed mindset tends to judge failure as a loss and re-enforces its view of failure with internal monologues such as: “this means I am a loser,” or “this means I am not as good as they are.” It also tends to support shutting down, not trying again or giving up. Growth mindset people on the other hand are also monitoring negative situations and have internal dialogue with themselves, but they interpret failure as a challenge and a learning experience. They know that they can obtain both positive and negative learning from failure experiences. They tend to look at failure as constructive and an opportunity for learning and growth. They ask questions like: “what can I learn from this,” or “how can I improve?”

Dweck suggests that there are four key steps to shifting your closed mindset to being more open. It is also important to note that many of us have both mindsets and they come into play in different situations. So when facing a future challenge or setback or criticism, you might decide that your fixed talents or abilities are lacking. Alternatively, you can try a growth mindset approach that suggests you need to ramp up your efforts, stretch yourself and possibly train and enhance your skills and abilities.

Here are some suggested steps:

1. Learn to identify and hear your fixed mindset voice.

Look at situations and ask yourself about your judgments and your response to the situation. Are you saying things like: “It’s not too late to back out, make excuses,” or “it’s not my fault?”

2. Recognize that you do have a choice.

Interpreting situations as bad or challenging or a setback can often be shifted to viewing them as a learning experience and a stepping stone to success. The choice is really up to you.

3. Talk back to yourself with a growth mindset voice.

A fixed mindset voice can say things like “are you sure you can do this; maybe you don’t have the talent.” On the other hand, a growth mindset voice might say: “I may not be able to do this right now but I can learn it with time and help.”

4. Take a growth mindset action step.

Since it is up to you, what you say and hear is up to you. Learn from your setbacks and try again. Take on challenges and when you hear criticism, act on it. This is not always easy but practice, with the support of a coach or mentor, can make all the difference in enhancing your success quotient score and getting attitudes in place for enhanced success.

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Source by Tricia Alice Ryan

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
Landmark – The Inside Story of America’s New Health Care Law and What It Means for Us All

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Book Review: Landmark – The inside story of America’s new health care law and what it means for us all

Landmark is a collection of essays written by various reporters, editors and national staff of ‘Washington Post’ followed by the actual text of the bill. It provides a comprehensible summary of the legislation and examines its impacts on Americans on various categories and on health care system as a whole. In addition to this, it gives a very rich historical background and perspective. Such as how the legislation came together, the events and negotiations, the political challenges and obstacles, etc etc

The book has a systematic structure and is divided into three sections. The first section provides behind the scene reporting about the way the law came up. The second section highlights the effects and impacts of the new law whereas the third section is a summary of the legislation.

For a lot of people, the presence of the historical background makes it a worthwhile read as it also covers a lot about the national healthcare coverage. People also find it a worthwhile read because it gives a proper and detailed coverage as compared to the fragmented and sensational media coverage.

Although the bill seems to be corrupted in a few places, the authors still manage to convince you that the law will change the way doctors make business and also mark a change in the patients experiences.

This book will increase your knowledge on the issues related to this bill and your ability to discuss and debate on the issue will also be enhanced. This book provides a very balanced perspective and should be read by all.

Landmark is a well written analysis of the new health care reform bill, all of the contributors clarify specific areas of the bill, recommended.

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Source by Jami Kiya

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January 30, 2020
Coin Book Reviews – A Guide Book of Morgan Silver Dollars By Q David Powers

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The 2nd edition of “A Guide Book of Morgan Silver Dollars, A complete History and Price Guide” was released in paperback form on March 31, 2005.

The first chapter discussed the appeal and challenges of collecting Morgan Dollars and a few tidbits about the history of the Morgan Dollar. While only 5 and 1/2 pages long, the first chapter is filled with interesting facts. As you enter chapter two, the book goes back a ways and discussed the history of dollar coins in general going back to the Spanish Milled Dollars, then the Mint Act of 1792 and how US coinage began. There are several paragraphs discussing the early dollar coins, there popularity, or lack thereof, and how the dollar was eliminated and replaced with the Trade Dollar.

The book does a very decent job of describing the events that were happening during this time period such as the troubling times for silver companies and the political involvement to help them out that eventually led to the Morgan Dollar. Chapters 3 and 4 are packed with excellent information on the design process for the Morgan Dollar and them the minting process. For a new collector, this is very good information.

Chapter 5 discusses the five, yes five different mints that produced Morgan Dollars, although the Denver mint only produced Morgan Dollars for one year, the year 1921. Chapter five also gives a little bit of history about each of the mints.

Chapter 6 discusses the various hoards of silver dollars discovered long after the demise of the dollar. Some once thought scare dates were now plentiful as the US Treasury began releasing and selling Silver Dollars held in vaults for years.

Chapter 7 delves into the variety of ways you can collect Morgan Dollars. If you are at all familiar with Morgan Dollars, then you know that there is a multitude of ways to collect this coveted coin. Chapter 7 will give you many ideas to help you narrow down the way you may want to collect this series

Chapter 8 discusses grading and the ANA grading scale. If you are familiar with the scales, then there is not much new here. Also, this is also where I think the book could stand some improvement. There are pictures providing examples for each grade, but like most, if not all books about grading, there are only descriptions for MS60 and above. I would have liked to see large pictures for each MS grade. This would give collectors a clear indication of the impact of bag marks in regards to grading.

Chapter 9 discusses the many varieties within the Morgan series while Chapter 10 is where the real meat of the book is. Chapter 10 contains a page for each and every year and mint of the entire Morgan Dollar series. Each page contains information on keys to collecting, circulation strikes, prooflike coins, price guide, availability guide, mintage and distribution and varieties. Each page is jam-packed with information very specific to each date and mint. In addition, there is a summary for each year that discussed things going on at the time and other general information about Morgan Dollars for that year. This type of information no doubt took years to gather and is invaluable to the serious Morgan Dollar collector.

Chapter 10 is buy far the longest and provides incredible detail for each and every year and mint of the Morgan series. There is one page for each date/mint that provides information such as optimal collecting grade, PCGS population (although outdated as more coins become certified), estimated field population, total mintages, varieties, etc. In addition, there is a page for each year that discusses collecting and how life was during that particular year. In all, chapter 10 is for the series Morgan Dollar collector.

In summary, if you are a series Morgan Dollar collector, or just a beginner, this is a must have book. The information provided in this book is incredible and provides the collector with incredible information into collecting one of the most popular coins collected today.

This book gets 4 1/2 stars.

If this book had blown up pictures of Mint State type coins, it would have rated a 5. Since the Morgan Dollar is most desired in Mint State, it puzzles me as to why graded pictures are not provided.

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Source by Keith Scott

Views: 0

January 28, 2020
12 Benefits and 12 Challenges of Being an Entrepreneur

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All over the world, people are breaking free from the traditional employment model and choosing to achieve business success as entrepreneurs. Will you be the next?

Let’s start by covering 12 of the most commonly-mentioned benefits of being an entrepreneur to inspire you on your journey:

1. You can choose your own schedule.

2. You are free to travel.

3. You can take sick days or vacation days whenever you need them.

4. If there are necessary tasks you don’t enjoy or have time for, you can outsource them.

5. You can select your own employees.

6. Learning to be a better boss also teaches you to be a better employee.

7. Your innovative ideas have a chance to shine unfettered.

8. You do not have to wear a uniform or follow a company dress code.

9. You enjoy better job security than most people.

10. Entrepreneurship teaches you the benefits of hard work.

11. You can always feed your curiosity by learning more about every aspect of your business.

12. Your ambition can always drive you to greater heights and business success.

As you can see, entrepreneurship is becoming popular because it comes with a whole new lifestyle for those who are willing to seize it.

Of course, entrepreneurship isn’t all sunshine and freedom. According to the United States Small Business Association, a third of small businesses fail within the first two years, and more than half fail within the first five years.

Not surprisingly, the challenges of entrepreneurship represent the flipside of the advantages we discussed above:

1. Choosing your own schedule can result in wasted time without the proper time-management skills.

2. Even while traveling, it may be necessary to handle work-related crises, because you are basically always “on call.”

3. There are no paid sick days or vacation days, so you must decide how much each day off is worth to you.

4. You are responsible for completing any tasks you can’t afford to outsource.

5. Hiring employees means you must learn how to conduct interviews, uphold workers’ legal rights, and coordinate payroll.

6. If you don’t yet have the leadership capabilities to direct others, you will be taking a crash course once you hire freelancers or employees.

7. You must narrow all of your innovative ideas down to the ones that have the most potential to help you achieve business success.

8. If you don’t maintain a professional appearance in person and online, it is sure to reflect poorly on your company.

9. You are responsible for funding your business, even if you’re operating at a loss.

10. Only results are profitable, not time clocked, so it’s possible you will work hard and still end up disappointed.

11. You must be familiar with each aspect of how your business operates, including those which may not interest you, to ensure everything is running smoothly.

12. Only you can motivate yourself to achieve business success.

To sum it up, let’s say that with freedom comes responsibility. If you can’t handle one, you aren’t yet ready for the other.

Of course, I don’t believe people should give up on their dreams. Just be sure to arm yourself with knowledge and understand what you are getting yourself into.

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Source by Evelyn Gawlowska

Views: 0

January 26, 2020
Eating Organic Foods Is Part of A Health Plan for Your Gluten Free Diet

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How to be healthy is a subject with a wide swath of opinions. There are opinions about a vast group of different special diets. The negative health symptoms from eating certain foods is a very big challenge today.

Gluten sensitivity is one of those symptomatic challenges that so many people are dealing.

As you explore and venture onto a gluten free diet you may or may not see that all your troubling symptoms are going away. Symptoms you had hoped eliminating gluten would solve. Perhaps some symptoms have stopped or have eased but others that you thought might relate to gluten are still causing you grief.

Lets also ask the question, are you still eating a diet consisting of manufactured processed commercial foods? Is the only change that now the foods you eat contain no gluten?

Many people who are gluten sensitive, have Celiac disease or are gluten intolerant and just trade the same potentially toxic commercially processed foods for toxic gluten free foods. All the preservatives, additives and toxic chemicals are still there and may be contributing to many of the symptoms you are hoping to stop and control.

What’s the solution? Go organic. This means start looking for the organic label on all the food you buy. Organic foods may in some circumstances and with certain items cost more, but what is your health and well being worth. If you would rather eliminate symptoms that may be connected to hidden gluten and additives with the use of pharmaceutical drugs or would you rather pay a bit more for your organic diet.

Organic means clean food, no preservatives, no chemical additives, no binders. flavor enhancers or ingredients with laboratory names you can’t pronounce and have no idea what they are. Organic foods are grown naturally in soil without synthetic compounds added.

One of the benefits of eating organic foods is that you can also test to see if any of the additives in the commercial processed foods you have been eating are contributing to any symptoms.

Organic is the healthiest for you and the Earths environment? Here is another benefit from eating organic, you become part of the solution for a healthier planet and sustainable future for us all. While you make substantial changes to your diet like becoming gluten free consider making other kinds of substantial changes like eating organic foods in a Paleo diet or whole foods diet. It’s a serious win win for you and your health and for helping to solve an important environmental problem facing us all.

What we choose to eat has an affect on the environmental health of the world. Eating gluten free organic foods makes a statement that you care about not only the chemicals going into your body but also all the chemicals being pumped into the Earth through non organic commercial agriculture.

Going gluten free is just one part of the equation for getting healthier and reaching for new levels of health and quality of life. Making your gluten free lifestyle an organic lifestyle will serve you well.

Organic Gluten Free Foods Are Bountiful

The gluten free foods industry includes organic foods. Beyond the foods that would be substitutes for foods that would commonly contain gluten there are also all the organic foods that naturally don’t include grains and gluten. Organic vegetables and fruits, nut, seeds, beans, mushrooms, garlic, onions and all the other wonderful healthy foods are that much healthier when they are organically grown.

Organic grains that are gluten free are the best kind of grains you can eat, like amaranth, quinoa, millet, rices, buckwheat and non corn are choices if you want to have gluten free grains in your diet. Organic foods help you avoid GM (genetically modified) ingredients as well.

Another organic foods diet that is really good for you in the Paleo diet. Eating the diet of the hunter gatherer should be organic, the caveman’s diet was organic.

Prior to the industrialization of farming and food production there was no need for the word organic to differentiate foods that are naturally grown and those that are commercially grown.

One way to look at how natural organic foods should be for anyone’s diet is to realize that foods were organic for centuries and have only been industrialized for a very short time. There is evidence that the industrialization of foods is part of the cause of the rise of the gluten sensitivity epidemic.

Making your gluten free diet an organic gluten free diet makes total sense and is very clearly the healthiest choice. In fact to take this a little further, an organic whole foods diet or Paleo diet is probably ultimately the healthiest diet for you.

Take the leap and go organic all the way.

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Source by Michael Chadd

Views: 0

January 25, 2020
Wrong Reasons For Getting Married – (1) Marrying Out of Sympathy

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There are right and wrong reasons for getting married. The worst thing a person can do to oneself is to marry a wife or husband for the wrong reason. There are quite a number of wrong reasons why people marry. One of the wrong reasons and perhaps among the most prominent of the wrong reasons is marrying out of sympathy.

There are many scenarios under this subheading of marrying out of sympathy that relationship coaches experience in the course of counseling and coaching. Some of the most common ones are when the woman gets pregnant as a result of premarital sex and getting married to a person just because one’s brother or sister jilted that person. Between these two extremes, are those who start relationships with girls who are being maltreated by those they serve. Some men get involved with the neighborhood maids or relations of their neighbors who are being maltreated. Women fall into this kind of challenge too.

When sympathy forms the basis for a relationship with the opposite sex, it is like playing with a keg of gunpowder over a fireplace. Sympathy is a powerful emotion. It so overpowering that it becomes difficult for the parties involved to consider the critical elements in the foundation for a joyful relationship such as friendship, understanding, compatibility etc. If the man is the one sympathizing, he is so enamored into what he sees as the Good Samaritan’s job that he does not consider what stuff the woman is made off, her attitudes, desires and mindset. He does not stop to find out what life purposes she has, what goals she is focused on and how all these could jell into his own desires. If it is the woman that is sympathizing, she goes through the same emotions and also begins to think that if she saves the young man, he would remain loyal to her forever.

Findings, however, have shown that the truth is far from what these sympathizer-lovers are thinking. If as a result of your efforts the captive is set free, he or she will do what all captives do, “flee”. Fleeing here may not mean running away from their sympathizer-lovers, though that has been known to happen with people who confess that the only feeling they had was to escape the environment. In many instances, the sympathizer-lovers begin to act as saviors and lordships. This is usually resisted, first psychologically and later verbally. And there goes your peace and comfort.

Marriage relationship requires that both parties are open to each other. Open – meaning that there are no secrets in their hearts that the other partner would not be allowed into. Once these secret feelings are there, it produces reactive communication instead of responsive communication.

These sympathy missions when it emanates from the premarital sex pregnancy, the woman does not fully get happy in the relationship. This arises from the fact that as the usual challenges appear in the scene, instead of the woman finding a good reason to endure; she only thinks she is in a mess occasioned by the pregnancy. Some have confessed that if they did not get pregnant, there is no way they would end up with the man they are married to. Instead of seeing the usual marriage and child rearing challenges as learning opportunities, they mortify themselves for getting pregnant. And some of the time, they blame the man for putting them in the family way. Some blame the child that resulted from the pregnancy. Hatred for a child has been known to have grown from such situations creating lasting bitterness.

For the men, having not evaluated the character, demeanor, temperament of their spouse before marriage because of the overpowering influence of the emotion of sympathy, when the woman shows her real character, they are usually overwhelmed. They see themselves as having made terrible mistakes. They now live the rest of their lives in regret, withdrawal or wickedness or under the influence of these three negative but powerful emotions.

It is necessary that we have it ingrained in the tablet of our hearts that the only reasons good enough for marrying anybody are the foundational elements for joyful relationship. If while in a relationship with the opposite sex there is no opportunity to build friendship and if an understanding of the basic purpose of marriage is not clear to both of you, then there is no other reason why the relationship should continue beyond the next few hours.

Interestingly, many marriages out there are based on sympathy.

Young single adults (18-30 years of age) and single adults (31 years and above) should not marry anybody for the purpose of saving face or to save somebody from suffering. Instead of cornering yourselves to this quagmire, why not follow the appropriate dating, courtship and engagement practices where no sexual intimacy is included. There is need to remember that sexual intimacy is only appropriate in a legally and lawfully wedded marriage contract. You need to remember that the basic purpose of sexual intimacy is mainly for procreation and to cement companionship.

The excitement and pleasure that accompany sexual intercourse is purposed to invite people to take the responsibility that comes with it. Any other use of sexual intimacy outside legal and lawful matrimony is a transgression of the law. And law breakers must bear the full weight of the law. In most cases, there would be no external police to arrest you and no external court to try you and no external prison to sentence you. But there are internal version of the police, the court and the prison and a large farmland where your hard labor would be performed if you commit this offense.

What is the way to go?

Here is the way to go. Instead of focusing on sympathy, those planning to get married should focus on what matters most – the purpose of marriage – companionship and procreation. Remember the good Lord Himself said of Adam in the scriptures: “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), hence He made Eve to keep him company. Do not forget also that the same Creator gave them a commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). This is the creator’s approval for sexual intimacy in marriage relationship with the intents and purposes clearly spelled out, though. Latter-day prophets have clearly stated that “sex between a man and a woman in a legal and lawful marriage is ordained of God”. These are the foundational elements that must be established before continuing in the plan for marriage with someone. Both parties ought to know and understand this fully. This knowledge and understanding would bear relationships as the foundation of a building bears it. Marrying for any other reason is like standing the building on its roof.

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Source by Francis Nmeribe

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January 24, 2020