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Tag: Break

  • Lifestyle Changes

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    Lifestyle Choices: Learn to Overcome Emotional Overeating

    Overcoming emotional overeating can seem overwhelming, and setbacks can be expected. But the good news is, there are lifestyle choices that you can make to help overcome this problem.

    The key word is choice – you can choose to follow a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes it helps to break things down into small, specific steps you can take (just trying to lead a “healthier lifestyle” is a bit vague!). Following are some of these specifics. And remember, setbacks and relapses are not unusual. Don’t beat yourself up; just start fresh tomorrow.

    It is never too late to start afresh and start feeding your body with the nutrients it needs to sustain itself and function better as a whole.

    Under-nourished people usually do not have the time or knowledge to ingest proper food and are thus losing out on a healthy lifestyle and risk putting their lives in jeopardy.

    Exercise

    Experts are in general agreement that regular exercise three to five days a week is most beneficial. This exercise should consist of at least 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise (such as vigorous walking, jogging, biking, etc.) followed by some light toning or weight training. Committing to this regimen full-force is not necessarily the best way to go; if you can only exercise once or twice a week, that’s still better than nothing and will hopefully pave the way for more in the future.

    Exercise is said to relieve emotional overeating in several ways. For one, exercise produces endorphins which are the body’s natural “feel good” hormones. For another, exercise prevents boredom and mindless eating, which is what you might be doing if you weren’t exercising! And finally, exercise will likely boost your self-image, helping to break the cycle of low self-esteem and poor self-image that “feeds” emotional overeating disorder.

    Nature

    Never underestimate the healing power of nature! For those with emotional overeating disorder, choosing to spend more time out in nature can be particularly beneficial. After all, in the natural realm there are no media messages to mess with your self-image, and being in nature connects you to your origins and the origins of food.

    Some experts theorize that detachment from food and its natural source plays a role in emotional overeating disorder. Getting involved in nature and exploring and appreciating it can go a long way toward reconnecting with our biologically normal view of food. Maybe you can kill two birds with one stone and do your regular exercise outdoors!

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    Source by Michael Oscar Pisani

    Views: 0

  • Combine Language Learning and Technology to Explode Your Teaching and Learning Success

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    Are you looking to boost your English language teaching or learning skills to yet ever higher levels? Would you like to stimulate more interest in your language classes or break out of a slump or plateau? Combine the use of a variety of language learning techniques with continually developing technology to spur your successes. Here are some useful ideas and web sites to get you started.

    BLOGS

    A Web Log or Blog, is not unlike a dairy you keep online. You can write instructions, an essay or post any type of information you want. Graphics and images can be included to illustrate the written material. Sound and audio-visual files can also be placed into a blog for added impact. A teacher can post a reading or assignment where students can comment right online. No papers, no clutter and you can view it almost any time. Blogs are becoming easier to use and access and many sites allow you to set one up for free.

    ONLINE VIDEO / AUDIO

    Most professionals have an e-mail address or two. Your e-mail can now become a communicative tool between you and the learners. E-mail can now also include the use of images and sound or audio-visual clips, as well as the message text. Learners can send in assignments as attachments or pasted into the body of the e-mail. They can ask questions and receive timely feedback without waiting for the next class session. Teachers can send out instructions, updates or other information to learners individually, or as a group also without having to wait for the next scheduled class session.

    No computer? No problem. In many parts of the world e-cafes are so cheap they’re actually a viable alternative that students can easily afford. Whole “communities” of young learners are based on hangouts at e-cafes in some cultures. Talk to your students about it. You might be surprised.

    USE OF ONLINE RESOURCES for TEACHING / LEARNING

    The use of online games, EFL practice sites student and teacher forums, communities and activities has exploded in recent months in many parts of the world. Virtual communities and online reference libraries now enable learners to problem-solve, research a paper or to more quickly complete assignments that formerly would have taken disproportionately large amounts of time to complete. For example, a few sites worth mentioning include:

    o http://www.books.google.com/

    A web site which offers free access to books that can be read on-screen

    o http://www.universia.net.co

    This is a site which has a lengthy listing of virtual libraries in almost any genre and connects more than 900 mostly Spanish language libraries

    o http://www.redclara.net

    This site interconnects an advanced academic network of Latin American libraries

    o http://www.lablaa.org

    This site allows you access and read a large number of its collected works online and contains exposition pages

    o The official Project Gutenburg web site contains an extensive listing of literary works in English which have entered the Public Domain. It’s online at: [http://promo.net/pg/]

    Try some of these useful ideas and web sites to get you started in combining the use of a variety of language learning techniques with continually developing technology to explode your English language teaching and learning successes. If you need to know more about using these or other new technologies to boost student interest and motivation making your English language teaching more effective, feel free to e-mail me at the address below with questions or comments.

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    Source by Larry M. Lynch

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  • Numerology’s Secret Strength – Your Habit Challenge

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    Where do you turn in times of crisis? How do you find the inner strength to face problems which are beyond your normal strength? Numerology can tell you where your hidden strength lies, ready to come forth in the face of problems beyond your normal resources. This hidden strength is known as your Habit Challenge. This ability is also known as the Submerged Characteristic or Habit number. Normally it lays dormant, hidden in everyday life until you truly need it; Then it blossoms becoming a useful tool to be called on.

    Finding your Habit Challenge

    This is one of the simplest calculations in Numerology. You simple count the number of letters in your use name and then reduce the value with fadic addition. Your use name is what your friends call you, or how you introduce yourself. Note that since this can change through out your lifetime, your Habit Challenge will change as well. As an example, actress Angelina Jolie has a Habit Challenge value of (4) as shown below.

    Angelina Jolie (Habit Challenge) = (8 + 5) = (13) = (4)

    Habit Challenge (1) – Originality

    People with this value respond to crisis by turning to their originality. They are best served by looking to themselves to find the answers they need, usually to the complete surprise of those around them.

    Habit Challenge (2) – Collaborator

    People with this value respond to crisis by teaming up with others. They are best served by being a good follower and trusting their partners to direct them in reaching their goal. If a need for diplomacy occurs, they are truly in their element and will bring good results.

    Habit Challenge (3) – Creativity

    People with this value respond to crisis by turning to their imagination. If there is an artistic solution to their problems, then they will solve them. These souls will also find an ability to put aside their fears and not take their problems seriously, letting them work with little pressure.

    Habit Challenge (4) – Analysis

    People with this value respond to crisis by turning to pure logic and their analytical skills. They will be able to turn off their emotions and work towards a practical and orthodox solution to their problems. They will never break down or lose their head until the crisis has passed.

    Habit Challenge (5) – Flexible

    People with this value respond to crisis by being flexible. They will accept change and take risk as necessary to reach their goals. If there is a New or unusual solution to the crisis, they will find it. These people will exhibit great versatility and quick thinking throughout the crisis.

    Habit Challenge (6) – Responsible

    People with this value respond to crisis by showing sympathy for others and taking on responsibility for the problem they face. These souls will work to shield their friends and family from the affects of the crisis and offer to sacrifice themselves to resolve the problem.

    Habit Challenge (7) – Meditation

    People with this value respond to crisis by using meditation or other techniques to seek knowledge from within themselves to resolve their problems. These souls will reject advice which they have not asked for, and instead look to their intuition for ways to solve their problems. They will always act with perfect timing while the crisis last.

    Habit Challenge (8) – Ruthless

    People with this value respond to crisis by being ruthless and efficient in their actions toward solving their problems. These souls are willing to set ambitious goals and work tirelessly until they are met. They will exhibit determination and infinite patience until the crisis has passed.

    Habit Challenge (9) – Idealist

    People with this value respond to crisis by being an idealist. They will be broad minded in their dealings with others, and generous with their time and resources while the crisis last. These souls will react dramatically with great flare towards those who oppose them until their problems are resolved.

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    Source by Keith Abbott

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  • He Hasn’t Said I Love You Yet? What This Really Means for Your Relationship

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    There’s a very special moment in every romantic relationship that a woman holds her breath for. It’s when your man tells you he loves you. Ideally, he’ll say it first and it will happen in a wonderful, memorable place. You’ll remember everything about the second those fateful words left his lips. The shirt he was wearing, how his hair was styled and what his cologne smelled like will all become important nuances of the moment when you both knew that you were going to be life partners. It all sounds so dreamy and ideal, doesn’t it? From experience, most of us know that it typically doesn’t go that way. He’ll usually blurt out the words at the most inopportune time like when we’re stopped at a red light or during a football game. Regardless of the circumstances of the delivery, the words are still meaningful and relationship changing. Sadly, not all men reach a point where they feel comfortable sharing those words. If it’s now been months or even years and he hasn’t said I love you yet, what exactly does that mean for you and your future with him?

    Never Forget How Different You and Your Man Are

    I’ve often heard women say that they wish men were more like them. In some ways, that would be wonderful, but essentially we love men because they are men. Your man doesn’t process his feelings the same way you do. If he falls in love with you at first sight, chances are very good that he’s not going to share that news with you until months into the relationship. The same is true of the man who falls in love with his woman at a slow pace. He’s not going to give you updates about what he’s feeling. Men just aren’t wired that way.

    Sharing deep and meaningful feelings to a man makes him feel emotionally vulnerable. It’s very much like he’s taking the armor off his heart and he’s putting himself in the line of fire. If you don’t react favorably to his declaration of adoration or if you say something hurtful, it will pain him in a way that nothing else could. A man needs to feel very secure in his relationship before he’ll be ready to blurt out that he loves you.

    Pay Close Attention to His Actions Rather Than His Words

    So much can be gained from really paying close attention to how your man acts when he’s around you. There are certain behavior patterns that sync with a man who is truly and madly in love. You may believe that he’s not in love unless he says the words, but don’t discount how he treats you. For a man who is struggling with opening himself up to the point where he does indeed feel very vulnerable, his actions can give you great insight into what is in his heart.

    A telling example is the man who rushes through his day so that he can spend as much time as possible with the woman he adores. Nothing matters quite as much to him as seeing her smiling face at the end of his workday. The same is true of the man who sends a few text messages or emails during the day. His mind is clearly on the woman he cares for. Any small gestures like this should be viewed for what they are and that’s a strong sign that his heart is focused on the woman in his life.

    See His Commitment to You as a Sign of What’s in His Heart

    If a man has stopped dating other women and his focus is always just on you, he’s smitten. Men are notorious for wanting to play the field. Once a man stops looking, thinking about and seeing other women you should take note of that. He may not have said that he loves you outright but the fact that he’s lost interest in other attractive women speaks volumes about how he views you.

    This is especially clear if he’s suggested that you don’t see other guys or that you two just date exclusively. If he does mention this, it obviously means that he wants you to himself and that generally has a lot more to do with a man’s heart than his ego.

    A man in love wants to draw a tight circle around the woman who is the center of his world. He doesn’t want the threat of any other men on the horizon and he doesn’t have eyes for any other women either. His focus is clear and he’ll ask you to focus on him too.

    Be Wary of a Man Who Doesn’t Seem Connected Emotionally to You

    As much as you want to hope that he does love you, even if he has yet to say it, you do need to be mindful of the fact that his reluctance to express it is based on the fact that he just doesn’t feel it. If you’ve told your boyfriend that you love him and you’re met with dead silence, or he changes the subject very quickly, it’s easy to jump to the assumption that he isn’t in love and just is very uncomfortable talking about the subject at all.

    Some men will work hard at avoiding any discussion about feelings. They’ll say things like, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship yet, ” or “love is overrated.” If your guy has expressed similar sentiments to you, you have every right to be discouraged by that. He’s telling you, in a very roundabout and non-compassionate way that he’s just not feeling the same things you are.

    It’s up to you to determine whether or not you want to continue to invest yourself in a relationship like this. Granted, over time his position may change and he may decide that he does indeed love you. Perhaps a bit of time apart, as in a short-term relationship “break” might help him see the light. There’s a chance it won’t though.

    Just remember that all men are different and even though some are quick to say those three meaningful words, other men just can’t fathom saying, “I love you,” to any woman unless they’re on the verge of proposing to her. It’s up to you to decipher your man’s actions and read between the limes to truly see what’s in his heart.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • Adult Children Come Home to Heal

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    Should you let an adult child come home again? Parents send their nearly grown children out to conquer the world and sometimes they bounce right back home. A parent’s goal is to teach their child to survive the best and the worst that life has to offer. Most young people are able to maintain a level of existence, sobriety and relationships that sustain them until they really know who they are and what they want to do with their lives.

    However, sometimes life throws them a curve and they falter. Circumstances can hurt them, even bring them to their knees. A devastating break-up with a lover, flunking their first semester, an unexpected death of a best friend, or getting fired from his or her first real job can knock your child out of the game and take months to a year to recover.

    Did you keep their childhood bedroom just the same? Perhaps this is the time to open the shades and prepare for a wounded visitor. Make it clear that the invitation is temporary but open your door widely and let them come home again. As irritating as they are to you and your spouse, remember that your little habits will irritate them, too. As they begin to recover their sea legs, they will want the freedom of their own place ASAP. If you want to encourages them to leave quickly after a few weeks recovery, begin to talk endlessly about developing a strong work ethic and new disciplined habits in place of blaming others for their situation or procrastination. Hopefully, they will soon be out seeking new adventures.

    Help them improve their diet and sleep patterns. Try including fish oil and B vitamins daily to help them recharge their nerves and bodies. Less coffee and colas and more vegetables will help them with their mood. If your child seems to be getting worse or rarely leaves the house, antidepressants may be indicated. Get medical help immediately if your child seems despondent or suicidal.

    Being mom or dad again may even heal your empty nest pain. Give them a safe haven for a little while away from the pressures of living fast and competitively. Soon, they will try to fly again, this time a little wiser, a little stronger and a bit more ready. Oh, and don’t redecorate that room just yet. They may be back.

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    Source by Molly Barrow

    Views: 0

  • Anal Sex: Here’s How To Make Your Woman BEG YOU For It – YES, Really – BEG YOU FOR IT

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    You may think that the title of this article sounds too good to be true – but it’s 100% serious. You are about to discover exactly how to make your woman beg you for anal sex.

    If you want to do your woman ‘up the back door’ but she isn’t currently too happy about the idea, here is how to make her want anal sex.

    Most guys approach the issue of anal sex with their woman totally the wrong way. Here are a few examples of common methods that men use to try to get their woman to have anal sex with them.

    If you are currently using any of the following ideas, stop it straight away:

    Mistake #1: They try to persuade their woman to have anal sex with them by using logical arguments. For a woman sex is virtually 100% emotional. Therefore, logical arguments are a total waste of time.

    Mistake #2: Some men just try to ‘slip it in the back door’ when they are making love to them and hope their woman just lets them carry on with it. This is a terrible idea and one that you must avoid because it will probably hurt your woman and this could turn her off the idea of anal sex for a very long time.

    Worse still, it may break the sexual trust that you have with your woman. And when you lose that all important trust, you can say goodbye to your woman doing the really dirty, naughty stuff (like ‘back door action’) with you.

    So now that you know how not to try to get your woman to have anal sex with you, I can share the secret of how to make your woman beg you for anal sex.

    Pay attention, this is going to be fun…

    For starters, stop viewing anal sex as something that you need to ‘win’ from your woman and something that at best she’ll tolerate in order to allow you to have a good time. There isn’t a real man on the planet who thinks like that.

    Instead, adopt the belief that you are going to cause your woman to link massive amounts of pleasure to anal sex.

    That is the most important step, so I’ll repeat it – you are going to cause your woman to link massive amounts of pleasure to anal sex.

    And they way you do this is in very small steps.

    You cannot expect her to go from having never had anything up her butt, to taking your whole ‘tool’ all in one night.

    It ain’t gonna happen.

    No, no, no – your game plan for back door action has to be much cleverer than that. But don’t worry; I have already got the game plan for you, so all you have to do it put it into action…

    The 5 Step Plan To Make Your Woman Beg You For Anal Sex

    – Step 1: Use your tongue to give your woman oral pleasure, wait until she is just about to come and then gently rub her asshole with your finger. Keep rubbing it as she comes and you have started the process of getting her to link pleasure to her ass.

    – Step 2: Do the same as step one, but this time insert the tip of your finger into her butt as she is about to come and carry on doing it during her orgasm.

    – Step 3: Repeat the process again, this time inserting much more of your finger (all of it if possible), into her ‘back door’ as she gets on the verge of orgasm and during her orgasm

    – Step 4: Get a butt plug (start with a small one) and get her used to taking this up her ass. Be sure to insert the butt plug as she is about to come and during her orgasm. This way she links massive pleasure to her ass being touched by you

    – Step 5: Get your woman extremely turned on and wet. Give her a clitoral orgasm (with anal fingering) and then give her a deep spot orgasm. Next, bring out the lube and attempt to put your tool in her back door (use the doggy style position).

    Chances are that she’ll help you get inside her and totally enjoy the process. If she struggles to take you, repeat steps 3 and 4 and then retry step 5. Sooner or later she will beg you to take her in her butt.

    I’m the first to admit that this process is not set in stone.

    You have to be flexible in your approach. But this IS the way to do it if you want your woman to absolutely LOVE it when you take her in the butt.

    After-all, do you really want her to just oblige you because you begged for it, OR do you want to expertly and patiently make her crave back door action?

    If you want to make her crave it, use this 5 step process and be ready to repeat certain steps if need be. At the end of the day, it’s all good fun!

    Let me know how you get on.

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    Source by Adam A Armstrong

    Views: 0

  • MLM Business Plan: How Can You Use One To Profit ASAP?

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    Although getting a plan together is a genuine necessity, you’ll be pleased to know it’s actually rather simple to put one together or to make a few changes to your existing plan.

    Many online marketers understand that getting a plan together is a genuine necessity, you’ll be pleased to know it’s actually rather simple to put one together or to make a few changes to your existing plan.

    Although it is easy to create an MLM business plan when you know what your goals are, creating a profitable one is a different story altogether. To create these type of plans to actually turn a profit in your business, the main focus needs to be on how effective your marketing strategy is when it comes to generating commissions and sign ups in your downline.

    There are two main ways in which you can advertise online to turn a profit:

    1) Free marketing: social networking or content marketing are king here, basically any user generated content or anywhere in which you can interact one on one with another person within your circle of friends (or associates).

    This is a fun way to incorporate marketing into your MLM business plan, but it can be time consuming and without a large amount of people following your content, you have no real leverage and therefore no immediate profit.

    2) Paid marketing: this is an obvious one, but basically anywhere you pay to post an advert. For online marketing, adverts on other people’s blogs or sending solo ads to other marketer’s email lists are the most cost effective although there are more popular paid marketing methods such as Facebook advertising.

    These get immediate and targeted traffic, but without the proper education on paid methods you will certainly break the bank before you profit. With this option, you must also understand that this is an investment and there are times when you may even lose money, especially if you promote your offer to the wrong target market.

    Finally, you must analyse what you’re spending in your business. Is the product, service or event you’re about to invest in something that can be monetised, for example what will you learn in the training you purchase that will cover the cost of your investment? Or can you become an affiliate for what you’ve just purchased and sell copies of it to earn commissions?

    In conclusion, when you’re piecing together your MLM business plan you’re going to need to take a common sense approach. Forget cutting corners to save money, make sure the focus is on providing value to your potential customers in your marketing efforts whilst making your advertising cost effective.

    Lastly, ensure that the amount of advertising you will be implementing reflect on your goals e.g. number of sales a month so that you stay consistent with both your goals and marketing to avoid getting overwhelmed in your business, especially if you’re new to the MLM industry. Now that you have a basic understanding on how to profit quickly with an effective MLM business plan, what are you going to incorporate into your plan?

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    Source by Seb Brantigan

    Views: 0

  • Use Caution With Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) in Living Wills

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    All people including lawyers need to use caution with Living Wills and the Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) clause. Our relative who was an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) for 17 years said he would not sign a DNR because he thought if he did that it would allow physicians to cause his death. We respected his decision but could not believe that physicians who mainly preserve life would be anxious to end life. However, it turns out he was correct, a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) document does give a nursing home or a physician a green light to determine when or if a person can get medical care to preserve life.

    When you are signing paper work to place your loved one in a nursing home they will tell you how humane a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) clause is, not requiring Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) and/or a defibrillator which can break your loves one’s ribs. However, they do not inform you how bad it is for your loved one if they lose their mental or physical faculties unable to communicate their wishes for medical care and uncaring people determine the DNR means that they do not want medical care to extend their lives. Although my wife had a power of attorney requesting medical care for her Father, the Nursing Home staff just ignored us and our attempt to preserve the life of our family member.

    It turns out they had our relative sign a DNR while in a mental fog of an infection. The physician made a misdiagnosis claiming this patient’s daughter (my wife) was mentally ill for trying to honor her Father’s last wishes. She could not adequately communicate with her Father so she had reservations about sanctioning an amputation of his leg without his consent which I thought was prudent. This physician had never even met or talked to my wife and had no psychiatric credentials we are aware of. But when a physician makes a notation in a medical file it has powerful weight with a Court even if the information is false. So the nursing home staff took the physicians view declaring my wife crazy for trying to preserve the life of her Father thus over ruling her rights as a power of attorney and were going to legally expunge the life of her Father who wanted to live.

    Thus, a DNR in some circumstances can be more powerful than a power of attorney. I do not believe we are the only victims of this abuse of a DNR clause that some misguided people use to prematurely extinguish the value of human life. The common practice with the fervent sales pitch to get family members to sign a DNR out of humanity may be valid to a certain extent, but it can also be abused by people who believe they have the right to determine when a person dies.

    Including a clause or adding a hand written notation that the DNR does not give any party the right to deny medical care to your loved one is advisable. A DNR has the ability to convert a physician or nursing home staff into a psychopath and you should have reservations about signing such a document.

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    Source by Dale Adams

    Views: 0

  • How to Build a Structured Sales Pipeline

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    Following on from my earlier article “Developing a structured pipeline – The Issues” this article describes how to build the all too elusive, structured sales pipeline.

    So to recap: what should a structured pipeline report aim to achieve?

    Firstly, it should enable you to view each sale in a consistent manner.

    Second, it should clearly identify if a sales opportunity has progressed or stagnated.

    Thirdly, it should contained a factoring index which will more accurately reflect the true value of the pipeline

    Fourthly, it should provide sales and/or company management with a consistent and reliable prediction of business that should be closed in the forthcoming period.

    Fifth, it should be simple and relatively easy to complete (salespeople as a breed are poor at filling in reports).

    Sixth, it should be focused on numbers rather than opinion.

    To build a consistent view of each sales opportunity take the sales cycle in your business and break it down into discrete milestones.

    So for example,

    – Milestone 1 is a lead or an enquiry who has identified desire to purchase your product or service.

    – Milestone 2 to progress the sale you need to demonstrate the product

    – Milestone 3 they have the budget to pay for your product

    – Milestone 4 you have submitted a proposal

    – Milestone 5 you’re on the shortlist

    – Milestone 6 you have a verbal order

    – Milestone 7 you have a written order.

    The next step is to put percentages against these milestones for example,

    1) 5%,

    2) 10%,

    3) 20%,

    4) 25%,

    5) 50%,

    6) 90%,

    7) 100%.

    This approach allows you to build a factored pipeline i.e. the value of the opportunity time the percentage milestone. Don’t get hung up about whether the percentages should be this or that number what we are building is something that will give you a consistent view across all your sales opportunities and not something which reflects the precise chance of winning per opportunity. The progress of the sale can be shown in any way you like; this could be as a table, a graph, or a set of traffic light colours going from red to green as you move along the sales process. Other information you need is simple the prospect name, if it is a new or existing customer, the value of the opportunity and a projected win date.

    By constructing what I have described you’ve gone a long way to getting a grip on your sales performance, you’ve now turned sales reporting into a set of numbers which over time you can analyse. For example you’ll see which sales have stagnated because they wont have moved along the pipeline for a period of time, you’ll be able to identify how overoptimistic you sales force are by comparing the projected win date with the actual win date. Most commonly this is between 3-6 months.

    Now that you have a factored pipeline you can start to build up metrics on the relationship between the size of your pipeline and your monthly sales. It also now enables you to look forward because as your factored pipeline rises and falls to will your sales, thus you can act early as soon as you see your pipeline numbers dip.

    You’re now at last starting to get some sensible numbers to enable you to plan your business and you have moved from a jolly nice chat to a shorter focused and more effective sales meeting. As the Meerkat would say “simples.”

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    Source by Laurence Ainsworth

    Views: 0

  • I’m Afraid My Husband Has Moved On And That It’s Too Late To Get Him Back: Insights That Might Help

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    I often hear from wives who want to know when it’s too late to get their husband back. Some tell me that, in their minds, it is too late because their husband has seemed to “move on.” I often hear comments like “We’ve been separated for six months. I think my husband has started seeing someone else. I’m starting to think that this is the end and that it’s too late for us. If someone has moved on, does that mean the end of the marriage?”

    Another example is something like: “My husband keeps telling me that we’re over and that it’s too late to do anything to save this marriage. Yesterday, he told me that he was moving on and that I should do the same thing. But I’m not sure how I can do this when it’s never going to be over for me. What can I do?”

    The common denominator in all of these questions and comments is that what the person asking really wants to know is when is it too late to save your marriage. Do you reach that “too late” point when your spouse tells you they have moved on? Do you have to take their word for it?

    Of course, I can’t definitively answer these questions for anyone because the answer depends on the specific people involved and the situation that they are in. But, I can offer you a perspective from my experiences and observations, which I’ll do in the following article.

    Sometimes, Couples Do Reconcile After One Of Them Has “Moved On”: If there’s anything that I know for sure in this situation, it’s that it is possible for things to change. Feelings change. Perceptions change. Situations change also. Just because someone is proclaiming or insisting something today, this doesn’t mean that they can’t do a complete about face tomorrow.

    I have seen divorced couples reconcile. I’ve seen couples who have been remarried to other people (sometimes for decent periods of time) decide to get back together. This doesn’t happen in every case, of course. But it most certainly can happen. Sometimes, there’s a change in circumstances which bring about a change of feelings. Other times, it happens spontaneously. But, much of the time, it’s part of a master plan meant to bring about small, gradual, and yet dramatic changes.

    Why Hanging On Too Tightly Can Sometimes Backfire: Wives in this situation often tell me that they just can not accept that it’s over or that he has moved on. I do understand this as I was in these shoes and I know how frustrating and painful this whole process can be. However, I can also tell you that I hear from husbands in this situation too and it’s my experience and opinion that clinging too tightly or “refusing” to accept what he’s telling you will often make him feel less loving or receptive toward you rather than more so.

    I know that it can be difficult to take step back or to pause when you’re so afraid that the second you do, he really will be gone. But sometimes, you just have to ask yourself if clinging so tightly has been working for you. Take a long look to see if your previous methods have really gained you anything.

    Sometimes, if you are honest and can maintain a little distance, you can see that actually, you’ve only been making things worse. It’s really important to ask yourself if the attempts you’ve been making have been bringing him closer to you or improving things or if they’ve been pushing him further away and deteriorating things. If this is the case, sometimes, you come to realize that trying something new isn’t as risky as it may have first appeared.

    Backing Off Or Taking Pause Is Not The Same As your Moving On: I sometimes have wives tell me things like: “maybe he’s moved on, but I will never be able to. I just can’t give up on our marriage or let go no matter what he says.” Another example is: “his moving on doesn’t mean that I have to.” All of these points are valid, but nothing says that you have to broadcast this to him. Because, when you’re asserting that you are absolutely not going to move on, then sometimes he will come to oppose you even more and think that he needs to ratchet up his efforts to change your mind. This of course, makes him move further away from you.

    So, there are times when you are better off just telling yourself that, although you know full well how you feel, you’re no longer going to keep repeating this to him when he already knows it anyway. There’s nothing wrong with appearing to back off when you know all along that your plan is to gain some ground. And, sometimes you need a pause to gain some perspective and calm.

    Taking time for yourself and taking a break from all of the drama can sometimes actually improve the situation. And sometimes, when you are suddenly silent or absent, your husband suddenly becomes interested again. This is what happened in my case, although it wasn’t by design.

    No matter which way you chose to go, it’s my experience that you are almost always better off if you are able to maintain your respect and dignity. You want to portray yourself in the strongest way possible and this often requires you to act “as if” when you just aren’t feeling it or aren’t all that confident. Sometimes, it helps to remember the person your husband loved once upon a time and to show him that person when the opportunity genuinely presents itself.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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