Tag: Begins

  • Am I Ordained To Marry?

    Am I Ordained To Marry?

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    One common question people ask us during counseling is whether they are ordained to marry or not. Few weeks ago, a sister walked up to me to ask if she was ordained to marry or not. I asked why she thought so. She said, her pastor taught them that it is written in Matthew 19:12 that some people were made to be eunuchs and therefore, not everyone is expected to marry. And now she was worried because of the series of disappointments she had experienced in her relationships. When I asked her whether they were equally taught how to differentiate between both groups she said that was why she came to ask me. I said she should have gone to her pastor to ask but she said she would not because they were more interested in how many souls they had won to Christ than their marital plans.

    Her vehement refusal to go to her pastor for counsel was a clear indication that she had gone through some elements of frustration. I don’t know how many people are in the same situation today. All I know is that someone will be free from this bondage today.

    Before I address the core issue, let me tell you that Christianity is a balanced relationship. The same God that says he that wins a soul is wise also says marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral, (Hebrew 13:4 NIV). The practice of holding back mature adults in church from marriage because you don’t want to lose them to other churches or distract them from actively engaging in church growth is unbalanced and unhealthy for the growth you desire. Marriage is an honor before God. It brings glory to God. Anyone that desires to marry should be encouraged before they begin to defy themselves right under your pulpit.

    My counsel is that while encouraging them to continue winning souls they should also be counseled on the right way to find the right kind of spouse and the right way to marry. Teach them to let their marriage become a plus to the church instead of minus. If you alone could chase one thousand souls, let you and your spouse join in marriage to chase after ten thousand souls.

    Matthew 19:12 says: ” For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it let him receive it.”

    The above scripture clearly defines the three categories of eunuchs. Our point of emphasis here shall be on those born eunuchs from their mothers’ womb. The other two are those forced into it and those that became so by their choice.

    When God created man in His image and likeness, He decreed that he should go into the world and multiply. That declaration is for you and me. The only approved way to achieve this multiplication is to marry legally and keep the matrimonial bed holy. You don’t need an angel to whisper into your ears that it is time to marry. The rules are there in the bible. That is not our focus for today anyway.

    Take example from Abraham, the father of faith. He didn’t need any prophecy to discern whether his son Isaac, needed a wife or not. All he needed was simple wisdom drawn from the Word of God. God told him during his call that through him the earth shall be populated with His new generation of children. He settled it in his mind to get a wife for Isaac to make that calling and purpose come to fruition. At the appointed time, he sent his servant, Eleazar to go to his kindred to get a wife for Isaac. You know the rest of the story in Genesis chapter twenty-four.

    God designed man with all the features required to perform all that He wants him to do on earth in the same way a manufacturer will not put his products in the market place without the inbuilt features to function. Signs of puberty, sexual emotions and strong attraction towards the opposite sex are some indicators that you are ordained to marry. When His due season is near, He begins to impress His desires in your spirit for onward transmission to these dormant sexual potentials in you and suddenly you will awaken to certain pressure in that direction. The bible says, ” it is God who works in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure”, Philippians 2:13. Marriage is one of the good things that bring pleasure to God. When you start feeling the urge or willingness to get married just know God has begun this good work in you. Anybody that has this urge or desire to marry is one of those God has ordained to marry. Period!

    To become a eunuch or to marry is your choice. God has given you the free will to decide it. He will not choose or impose any one on you. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because he wanted to use his life to serve God and not because God said he should not. His case should not become a doctrine to dissuade people from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives. He even admonished anyone that is unable to bear it to marry instead of burning in lust. If you choose to live a life of celibacy or choose to marry as you have desired, God is pleased with you. Do not allow previous disappointments dissuade you or make you start thinking that it might be that you are among the chosen eunuchs. You are ordained! If things are not working well, find out what you have not been doing right, keep correcting and working on yourself so God can connect you with the right kind of spouse.

    However, it does not mean you should rush into anyone because God has willed it so for you. There is period to find the right kind of spouse and there is time for preparation. My stake here is to let you know that these signs put you in the category God has ordained to marry. You do belong to the group of those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb.

    Parents should watch out for these signs in their children and wards. When these signs begin to show up, it is a signal to parents to start preparing their children or wards for the next phase of their lives. Unfortunately, many parents and guardians around these children do not always prepare them on time, and sometimes they misdirect them through wrong information. We owe the upcoming generation this responsibility as guardians. Those who fail at this level of parenting always regret it because late stitches steal real good time.

    Those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb do not have and will never have the urge to get married because they do not have the features in them. I do not mean those incapacitated by sickness, diseases and infirmities like down syndromes, depression or paralysis. These are healthy and virile folks who are repugnant to the site of the opposite sex. They never have any amorous feelings towards the opposite sex even when they are both nude in a secret room.

    Whether we choose to marry, remain single or born incapacitated, it does not make us sinners or better before God. He loves all of us equally, but it will please Him to see us fulfill His desires for us. I have cleared the obstacles before you. The onus is now on you to decide what you want. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because it was his choice. Apostle Peter did not divorce his wife because of God’s work, yet God accepted them all. Decide your case by yourself.

    Remain Blessed!

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    Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

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  • The Year Our Marriage Grew

    The Year Our Marriage Grew

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    AT around our tenth wedding anniversary, we had a realisation.

    The realisation we had was this: despite all the quality marriage counselling we had received from our wonderfully gifted and skilled marriage counsellor early on, we were, at that time, still not enjoying satisfaction.

    We now knew the principles, but now we had to apply them. Knowledge of principles provides no satisfaction, only application provides satisfaction.

    The year our marriage grew coincided with application. Instead of believing in concepts and talking about them, we decided to commit to working the concepts out in our marriage. This inevitably meant adapting the marital wisdom we had learned so it worked for our unique coupling, for our inimitable family structure.

    We had had twenty counselling sessions, and I think our counsellor was at pains to say, ‘Go and do what we’ve been talking about; what I’ve been showing you’… initially it even got worse. It had nothing to do with the standard of our counsel – it was like growing pains in our marriage. Things tend to get worse before they get better.

    Inevitably, we as partners had to learn to commit to each other in ways we had never thought we would need to. Our covenant to each other was solid, but we now had to commit to love this other person in ways that worked for them, not simply ourselves. Without even recognising it at the time, we began to accept each other like we had never done before. That is true love: unconditional acceptance at the deepest level. And it takes time.

    The year our marriage grew was Year 4. Indeed, the previous three simply proved our commitment to each other. We hadn’t torn each other apart. But there were some horrible experiences. Whilst those first three years were unbelievably tough, they set us up as we pressed on into the hard work required in finding our way into the space of marital peace (which is punctuated with conflict that is managed well in the main).

    My wife and I are believers in marriage; that marriage is not only wonderful but hard work. We believe, as we experienced, that counselling works; but not only that, there’s a limit to what counselling can do. I say that as someone who gives marital counsel.

    It must be applied. There needs to be a time where a couple weighs anchor and begins the work of reconciling the problems on the high seas of their marriage. It can take years, but don’t be despondent. You learn to survive when it’s just you and your spouse. Sure, we all need tune-ups, prayer and support, but others’ help is limited.

    This is what we learned: marriage seems best when the foibles of one are acceptable to the other. What seems like an easy concept can demand years of work to arrive at.

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    Source by Steve Wickham

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  • Love One Another (A Sermon on John 13: 31-35)

    Love One Another (A Sermon on John 13: 31-35)

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    We are in the 13th chapter of the Gospel according to St John's this week, and I'm going to unpack our reading verse by verse as it is a difficult passage.

    "When he had gone out, Jesus said," Now the Son of Man has been glorified, and God has been glorified in him. " (John 13:31)

    The person who had 'gone out' was Judas, and the sentence seems to suggest that Judas' leaving somewhat brought glory to Jesus, which sounds really odd.

    "If God has been glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself and will glorify him at once." (John 13:32)

    I really have no idea where to begin with that statement!

    "Little children, I am with you only a little longer. You will look for me; and as I said to the Jews so now I say to you, 'Where I am going, you cannot come.'" (John 13:33 )

    That statement makes sense to us as Jesus speaking about his own impending suffering and death, though at the time it made no sense at all to His disciples.

    I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. "(John 13: 34-45)

    That concluding pronouncement, I suspect, is the most difficult to understand of all!

    "All you need is love!" – so said the Beatles.

    When I read statements like these from the lips of Jesus, I can almost hear the soundtrack of that well-known Beatles song playing in the background.

    "Love is all you need. Love is all you need …"

    It's not true, of course. Love isn't all we need – not in relationships, not in families, not in governments.

    We had an election yesterday. Did you vote for the most loving candidate? Should you have?

    I tried to give some thought after reading this passage as to who the most loving candidate for electoral office was. It wasn't obvious.

    It didn't take me long to come up with the names of politicians who were definitely NOT full of love and sweetness, but it seemed less obvious to me which candidates actually were.

    Did the candidate who loves us the most win? Do we care?

    In truth, in as much as we might say, "all we need is love" , I don't think we really care whether our political leaders love us, any more than we really care whether our boss at work truly loves us. Love is not all we need. A good capacity for management is probably far more important in cases like this than is love!

    Love is not all we need in government or in families, and it's not even all we need in a system of morality! This might sound counterintuitive. Is not all of morality – all our statements about what is right and what is wrong – really an extension of that basic ideal of love?

    Certainly, over the generations, scores of philosophers and other great thinkers have suggested that all of our moral intuitions can be reduced to one simple exhortation – if not 'to love' exactly, to something very akin to that.

    The British philosopher, John Stuart Mill, saw all of morality as a system of increasing pleasure for people and reducing harm. He is probably best remembered for his 'harm principle' :

    "That the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others."

    I have a feeling that if you'd asked Mill what the essence of morality was, he might not have said 'love one another' , but might well have said 'don't' harm one another ' , which is pretty similar.

    Likewise, the great 18th century German philosopher, Immanuel Kant, believed that morality could be reduced to a single maxim – the 'categorical imperative' :

    "Act only according to that maxim whereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become a universal law."

    That's always sounded to me like a really complex way of saying 'love your neighbor as you would love yourself " , which, of course, was Jesus' 'golden rule' that many people see as being His one-line summary of the moral law , along with the first and great commandment, of course, that you have to love God:

    "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. " (Matthew 22: 37-40)

    We are familiar with these commandments. We hear them every week in church, and they do seem to suggest that everything in the law of God comes down to love, and that the rest is just commentary.

    Is that really what Jesus was saying? St Augustine thought so, and in my previous sermons on these passages, I have suggested exactly that – that there is really only one law of God – that we love – and that the rest is just application. My more recent reading though has suggested that it's actually a lot more complicated than that, at least if Jesus really was being true to His Hebraic tradition.

    The Hebraic law centers around the Ten Commandments – the ten words of God to the people of Israel – and while it seems straightforward to see commandments like "thou shalt not steal" and "thou shalt not murder" as being extensions of the commandment to love , other commandments like "honor thy father and thy mother" do not seem to be so easily reducible. Honoring your father and your mother seems to be more about respecting authority than it is about love .

    I've been reading a very interesting book lately by moral psychologist, Jonathan Haidt, called "the Righteous Mind" , in which he outlines what he calls 'moral foundation theory' .

    I'm not suggesting that everyone should rush out to get a copy of this book. It is not an easy read and could prove difficult if you don't have an academic background in the study of philosophical ethics (which, thankfully, I do).

    The author's key point, at any rate, is that our moral intuitions can't be reduced to any one simple maxim such as 'love one another' as morality is invariably more complex than that.

    Haidt suggests that there are five reasonably independent dimensions to our moral awareness, and 'caring' for others is just one of those dimensions. The others are:

    • Fairness (which is all about justice, rewards and punishments)
    • Loyalty (which is associated with values ​​such as faithfulness and patriotism )
    • Authority (where you honor your father and your mother, king and country)
    • Sanctity (which involves respecting your body and potentially embracing things like chastity, temperance and cleanliness)

    Forgive me if I'm now sounding more dry and esoteric than the book I mentioned. My point is actually a simple one – that 'all you need is love' is both simplistic and inadequate. We don't only need love – not if we are going to be successful in our relationships or in all of life. We actually need a lot of things – courage, self-discipline, wisdom, nurture and support and a good education, and more!

    Of course, Jesus didn't say "love is all you need". That was ' The Beatles' . What Jesus did say was "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" . In other words, Jesus didn't say that love is all we need to live a full and productive life. What He said was that it was all we needed in order to show the world that we are His disciples. That might sound like much the same thing but it's actually quite distinct.

    The life of love is not a strategy for success, despite what any number of tele-evangelists might have told you. Indeed, if it's right to consider it a strategy at all, the life of love could only be a strategy for getting yourself killed. That's certainly how it worked for Jesus.

    I'm sure I've mentioned before that friend who said to me "I'm sick of hearing people tell me about all the problems they had before they met Jesus and how He solved them all for them. till I met Jesus! "

    That's difficult to hear, I think. We don't want to think of Jesus as the one who leads us down a path of suffering and misery. We want to think of Jesus as one who elevates us to heavenly places.

    Isn't that what religion is for after all? Isn't good religion supposed to benefit our lives and help us live more fully and peacefully with a great sense of purpose and fulfillment? Surely, it's not just about suffering in this world so that we can enjoy a better life in the next? Surely there's more to it than that?

    I don't think Jesus is saying that discipleship is all about suffering any more than it is all about success. Discipleship, Jesus says, is all about love, and everything else depends on what Jesus means by love .

    Jesus says His command to love is a new commandment, and that's a surprise. Certainly, the commandment to love is as old as the Scriptures themselves, so it must be the latter part of the commandment – to love one another ' as I have loved you' – that makes it new.

    When we hear those words, I suspect most of us immediately think of the cross and Jesus laying down his life for us. That makes sense, and indeed the same Gospel writer, John, writes in his first letter "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us" (1 John 3:16). Even so, without wanting to press the issue of the timeline too heavily, the exhortation we have in today's Gospel reading -to love one another "as I have loved you" happens before the cross, suggesting that the model on view here may not be the death of Jesus but the life of Jesus!

    Further, as noted, today's reading begins with a reference to Judas – "when he had gone out" – and Jesus' exhortation to love each other as He has loved us comes immediately before the two terrible betrayals from disciples whom Jesus had just broken bread with and whose feet Jesus had just washed – the one betrayal being from Judas, of course, and the other one being from dear Peter!

    Jesus loved Peter, was betrayed by Peter, and would eventually be reconciled with Peter. Jesus loved Judas but would never be reconciled with him. Even perfect love does not guarantee a perfect ending to the story. Even so, love anyway – that's the new commandment .

    Yes, "greater love has no one than this – to lay down one's life for their friends" (John 15: 3). That is true, and bodily self-sacrifice is indeed the ultimate example of love, but most of the time love is not so grandiose and (thankfully) not quite so painful. The far more common (and in some ways more difficult) labor of love is the ongoing work of having to forgive those who fail us, and sometimes fail us very badly.

    This, I believe, is the love by which everyone will now that we are His disciples – it's the love that breaks bread with those who betray us and that washes the feet of those who turn their backs on us. It's the love that finds its ultimate inspiration in the sacrificial death of Christ on the cross, but which likewise finds daily encouragement in the simple acts of grace shown by Jesus towards those whom He knew would radically fail Him.

    I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. "(John 13: 34-45)

    It's not a strategy for success. It's not a means to a better life or more successful relationships. It's just the way that we demonstrate to the world that we are followers of Jesus. We break bread, we wash feet, we empathise, we forgive. We love one another just as He loved us.

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    Source by David B. Smith

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  • Your Personal Healing Journey

    Your Personal Healing Journey

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    As you journey precious New Year Healing Moments are within your grasp.
    Can you believe another year has come and gone? After the busy Christmas and new year celebrations are over is a great time for personal contemplation and resolve. You have most probably, already indulged in retrospection and re-evaluating some of your life choices.

    Are you looking forward to beginning a year of opportunities and ground-breaking possibilities? Can you see today as if it were a new-born? Will you choose to dress your new born year, with zest and enthusiasm?

    "To every season there is season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, …" ~ Ecclesiastes

    Each bright day is given to you and I to live with renewed vigor – to daily grow and try to be your best and highest self. Don't wait to respond to your thoughts and impulses.
    May this year be full of love, laughter, happiness and good health!
    Can you react to your longings and dreams? Can this day, this year, be filled with precious moments? Don't wait!

    If you are looking for effective ways of changing your life for the better, then you'll be sure to find useful information in the following Fifteen Precious Moment Ideas:

    1.Get In Shape:

    It's easy enough to start an exercise and diet program, but the trick is to find one that will give you results and that you will stick to over the long run.
    2. Eat Healthier Food and Less Overall:

    With dedicated determination (Even though you are surrounded by cheap junk food) you can slowly develop healthier eating habits.

    3. Become More Active:

    You may or may not have a big weight problem. Nonetheless, you need is to find ways of moving around more throughout the day instead of simply setting around or staying hunched over the computer or in a soft chair using your mobile phone.

    4. Quit Procrastinating:

    The biggest barrier that keeps most people from reaching their goals is relaxing and doing fun things and not work on their goal. Once you get used to procrastinating it's difficult to snap yourself out of it and change your bad habits.

    5. Improve Your Concentration:

    Finding ways to focus and stay focused is a constant challenge. It isn't easy and requires a daily effort to the task you have assigned yourself. This is one of those – if it is to be it is up to you.

    6. Be Sociable And Outgoing:

    Don't get stuck in a rut of staying at home most of the time. Or if your condition doesn't allow you mobility seek the companionship and sociability of others. Meeting with old friends or new people can be beneficial to your mental well-being.

    7. Reduce Stress:

    Stress is one of the biggest people killers causing strokes, heart attacks and death. It can have very destructive on your health. Some stress may be an unavoidable side effect of our hectic modern lifestyles. However, it can be effectively managed. Seek all sources for effective stress control and then introduce effective stress management into your daily action plan.

    8. Learn To Be Happier With Your Life:

    Attitude is such a powerful empowerment. Is your glass usually full or are you regularly on a petty party? You can control your happiness. It takes time and patience to learn how to find joy in the little things and not to let problems bring you down. Try counting your blessings naming them one by one.

    9. Spend More Time With People That Matter:

    One of the most difficult challenge you may face is to disavow your association with the wrong people. There is just too little time in this life for us to waste it on insincere, duplicitous and toxic people. You should focus on the people who care about you deeply, as this is the best way to stay happy.

    11. Reinvent Yourself:

    In Life it is often essential to re-boot your life. If you don't feel quite happy no matter what you do, it is perhaps time to make some serious changes in your life. Reinventing yourself can give you a whole new perspective on life and take you in directions you may never have dreamed were possible.

    12. Learn How To Be More Self-reliant:

    Technology, government programs and handouts offering cheap ready-to-eat food and all manner of useful tools have made us somewhat spoiled. We often get well into adulthood without having what it takes to be independent. You can learn from the disabled a great lesson on how to fend for yourself. Do what you can without the assistance from others and you will learn to enjoy self-sufficient and self-reliant.

    13. Face your fears And insecurities:

    You will find this particular point masked beneath other resolutions, but fear and insecurity are often the cause of several problems that we want to address. You need to think of it as surviving and controlling your fear rather than overcoming it, and it will enable you to shed off a lot of the insecurities that you have.

    14. Stick To Healthy Unique Personal Habits Developed:

    The most important point to mention is that all the positive changes you make have to be permanent. Work on sticking with the good habits you have adopted, until they are a natural part of who you are. There is no other way to achieve true self-improvement.
    Well, there you have it – a key list of precious moment advice, tips and tricks to help you see your New Year's resolution through and make some long-term changes in your life.

    Please accept my hope for happiness and healing for the beginning of your new year … (And as a grieving person I hope your year begins as you desire to understand and move through your grief).

    It is my prayer for you, each day this year, will be filled with a deep sense of belonging whether or not you have the blessing of being with all those you love.

    15. May You Be Granted Serenity And Wisdom:

    "God grant me the serenity; To accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."
    ~ Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

    It is my sincere wish your life will be filled with fulfillment, meaning, and connection to what matters most. Most of all, may your connection to the source of all things be strong and clear so that you can be an embodiment of happiness and healing. May you experience many precious healing moments this year.

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    Source by Duane Marchant

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  • The Psychotherapy for Drug Addicts

    The Psychotherapy for Drug Addicts

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    The field of research and psychoanalysis and the behavioral modification is considered one of the most important methods of treatment of drug addiction, in addition to the other two elements 1- the medical element, 2- social element, and it is known that there are multiple methods of The psychotherapy for various types of addiction.

    It is a basic principle in this field that the treatment that suits a patient and leads to the improvement of his condition may not be suitable for another patient suffering from the same illness, that means that the therapist can choose between several therapeutic alternatives to suit the patient, and it increases the chance of the treatment, more importantly, more treatment methods are being invented in the present time, which will raise more hopes for the foreseeable future. One of the most famous psychological treatments in this field is the group of behavioral treatments for addiction and it is considered among the main applications of modern psychological science in the field of the psychological disorders.

    It is based on the essentials that indicate that all forms of behavior (including drug abuse and addiction) of the individual are acquired and grow under certain living conditions (psychosocial and social) and thus ratified by the laws of the acquisition of the habits and its growth, all the differences must be taken into account in the categories of the different habits in terms of levels of support and installation available to them.

    Since the practices of the drugs abuse when taking over the abuser and it managed to lead to dependence or addiction, it means that it has reached the formation of the habits, meaning that the treatment (any attempt to get rid of the set of habits that serve the continuation of the drug abuse) will not be easy, However, it will not be impossible. It requires a high degree of cooperation between the addicts and the therapist with some remedial measures, in addition to perseverance to receive this procedure for a several months, followed by another period of follow-up and integrity.

    One of the method psychotherapy is Boudin HM `s method and it is based on three main elements:

    1. To train the addict to self-observation;

    2. To train the addict on self-assessment;

    3. Then programming behavior modification based on the data reached from the previous two items.

    Training on self-observation is considered one of the most important methods used in modern psychotherapy (ie, self-observation and monitoring). There are three functions under these treatments as follows:

    1. Monitoring specific types of behaviors of the individual related to the subject of the required treatment, before therapeutic intervention;

    2. Monitoring these types of behavior at intervals during and after the therapeutic intervention to assess the impact of this intervention.

    3. Sometimes it is used to facilitate the desired changes, and there are multiple ways to perform this self-observation and conduct the monitoring resulting in the methods taught by the therapist to the addict.

    The objective of training the addict on this self-observation is to achieve the capture and monitoring of the "functional patterns" that reveal his or her addictive behavior.

    The functional pattern in this case is the sequence that begins with the occurrence of an event or chain of events that will raise the motivation to use the drug, Then the act of abuse itself, and thereafter the feelings and behavioral events that support the behavior of the addict.

    In other words, the functional pattern is the set of behavioral precedents that precede the occurrence of the act of abuse, then the act of abuse itself, and then the act of the direct drug abuse.

    The therapist evaluates these patterns in terms of the appropriate ways of modifying or changing the behavior according to the case that he is handling, in order to choose these methods that he deems appropriate and avoids their masculinity. If the patient showed a relative improvement, and then to a new stage in which he teaches him how to evaluate his functional patterns, as he teaches him a ways of changing his behavior.

    One point remains to indicate that the therapist does not end up treating the case except by assessing the effect of the treatment on the basis of four important elements: the level of performance of the addict in his work, the level of his personal and social dealings and the number of times he may be involved during (and despite) the therapeutic program and, finally, the number of times it conflicted with the law throughout the treatment period.

    The implementation of this program takes a few months, and can be applied to the addicts who are held in sanatoriums, and can be applied on the basis of the outpatient clinic system, which is considered to be flexible and thus maximizing its benefits.

    It is worth noting that this therapeutic system has already experienced a number of heroin addicts who have been sentenced to obligatory treatment, and their results have been highly efficient. However, there are many other behavioral treatments, and some therapists prefer to do some of these treatments combined with CBMTS at the same time. The field here allows for many scientific differences that ultimately aim at more efficient treatment service.

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    Source by Mohamed Al Marzooqi

    Views: 0

  • An Insight Into Multi-Level Marketing/Network Marketing Techniques

    An Insight Into Multi-Level Marketing/Network Marketing Techniques

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    You have reached the perfect place to discover how to be successful with Network Marketing or Multilevel marketing. Most people who embark on a new challenge struggle at first but for the Network Marketing beginner, he’s not an exception. It might seem complicated and sometimes a fearful path to pursue, nevertheless take advantage of the following Network Marketing strategies and run with it.

    Success Tip 1: Manage “YOU” and “YOUR” Expectations.

    You are answerable for the success or failure of your own unique network marketing business! This is usually a huge one, simply because the overwhelming majority of completely new as well as skilled network marketers pin the blame on absolutely everyone but themselves with regard to things that fail. But in fact, whatever happens to you, in business and also in your personal life is a direct result of choices you made.. You, and you alone are accountable for your business.

    Manage your expectations and be accountable to yourself!

    Success Tip 2: Set Goals.

    We understand you need to generate income in your network marketing business, but HOW do you plan to generate such income?? It’s essential to set desired goals that may be Short, Medium or Long Term. Set S.M.A.R.T. goals for that HOW. Your S.M.A.R.T.goals ought to be

    • S-pecific

    • M-easurable

    • A-chievable

    • R-ealistic

    • T-imely.

    Evaluate these goals regularly and as soon as you meet them, raise the bar.

    Success Tip 3: Keep Learning!

    Cultivate your mind by getting informed through quality publications, CDs, network marketing business video tutorials in the first couple of months right after starting a new network marketing business. This might look like a time waster to many beginners since they’re thrilled to generate income immediately and it must be right now! It often doesn’t work like that.

    When l began my network marketing business, I put away a specific percentage of my earnings to get resources regarding how to take my business one stage further. I learnt a whole lot (and still learning) on how to offer value to my clients. These are individuals who bring the cash. Begin to see the link?

    Success Tip 4: Efficient Use of Your Time And Effort.

    Be extremely organized particularly if you intend to continue working while starting your business. You’ll want to become a personal time management pro to offer your best to each side. Remember that you might want to allocate more time to your start-up business since your start-up business is similar to a newborn – it requires nurturing, focus, care and time.

    Create time daily to work on your new business. Make use of the audio system in your car by listening to CDs or tapes if you are driving. Get a good mp3 player and plug-in some great informative content while taking a stroll or you’re at lunch or cleaning the house. The more effective time spent on your business, the quicker you’ll make it grow.

    Success Tip 5: Be patient!

    The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with one step. And you have started your journey. On this journey you’ll need loads of patience. In business the truth is most start-ups consider it a huge success if they can make money soon after they start business.. So, what makes you believe the income will begin rolling in after a few days, or even months? Building a solid business needs time, effort, and lots of patience.

    Likewise note that you need to be prepared for the rough patches because there will be loads! When those times come, it’s not the time to pull the plug but time to remember that success is a process. Every positive step you take brings you closer to your goals. Therefore keep doing the “right” things, persevere and be patient!

    Success Tip 6: Expect to get out of your comfort zone.

    When a baby starts to learn to walk, he or she finds it uncomfortable at first but as soon as he gains self-confidence and steps out of the world of crawling, he or she makes his / her first step and others follow afterwards. It’s similar in the business world. You’ll be learning new and different ways of expressing yourself. You will need to meet, talk and connect with people.

    No one ever made it big in network marketing by hiding behind their computer screen. You may very well feel uncomfortable trying new things that you may or may not be good at. The important thing there is TRY. Try new things.

    Learn from your mistakes and celebrate success when it happens and it will happen; because you have earned it!

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    Source by Nkem Bamgbose

    Views: 0

  • Great Customer Experience Begins With A Contact Center Audit & Assessment

    Great Customer Experience Begins With A Contact Center Audit & Assessment

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    The first step in the “Government Contact Center Operations Audit, Assessment & Benchmarking” is the execution of a contact center benchmarking audit.

    Who needs to conduct an annual operations audit and assessments? Anyone who needs to understand how to improve their customer’s digital experience and the organization’s service delivery performance. Whether they manage a team, offer organizational help to team managers or are an industry body in search of industry benchmarking, an assessment tool can help you figure out how to improve your government customer experience delivery, reduce operational costs and increase employee engagement.

    Through the completion of the operations audit, you can ensure that the organization has a good understanding of the current state of the operation. The audit allows you to examine the operations maturity and performance in contrast to ‘best practice’ centers globally.

    This creates the baseline and context against which the operations can be viewed and assessed. The execution of the audit by surfacing issues and/or concerns is an essential step in ensuring the success of the contact center operations.

    Government contact center operations audit categories include:

    1. Technology Review – All digital channels, operating technology (i.e. CRM) and telephony within the center, the effectiveness of technology, it’s utilization, scalability, interoperability, new technology opportunities including specifically any required telephony upgrade and return on investment (ROI) calculations.

    2. Operations Management – Process improvement opportunities, workflow process opportunities, automation opportunities, change management, employee and customer satisfaction, measurement and reporting.

    3. Compliance Management – Awareness and understanding of applicable rules, regulations, and standards. Policies, processes, and procedures for ensuring the operation is and can document compliance.

    4. Operational Alignment of the contact center to the business goals, especially related to desired patient journey both within and outside of the normal center operating hours, and presenting suggested approaches and results.

    5. Human Capital Management – Recruiting, Hiring, Job Descriptions, Skills Mapping, Workforce Management, and Optimization, Forecasting, Scheduling, Training, Coaching, Succession Planning, and Quality Assurance.

    In assessing the operations, the approach involves a review of its existing processes and practices, communications and technology, and, of course, the most important element: staffing. The outcome of the project is an agency report. This report always assesses current operational objectives, involves peer-to-peer benchmarking and identifies the gap between the “as is” vs. the “to-be” environment to achieve the agency’s vision. The report offers recommendations toward optimizing operational objectives, setting relevant operational priorities to close identified gaps and deploying an efficient innovative cloud-based technology

    Outcome: After the completion of the audit and assessment, you should expect a clear direction, in the shape of detailed reports to empower you to deliver better customer experience and give you a precise idea of where your organization stands in the world map if you also include a benchmarking tool.

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    Source by Rosetta Carrington Lue

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  • GESTATION OR PREGNANCY

    GESTATION OR PREGNANCY

    Gestation is “the act of carrying young in the Uterus, from the time of conception to that of parturition.” Conception occurs at the moment of the impregnation of the ovum; parturition is the act of delivery, or childbirth. Pregnancy is “the state of being with child.” The terms “period of gestation,” and “period of pregnancy,” respectively, are employed by medical authorities to designate the time during which the mother carries the young within her own body—from the moment of the impregnation of the ovum until the moment of the final delivery of the child into the outer world.

    The term of pregnancy in woman continues for over nine calendar months (or ten lunar months)—from about 275 to 280 days, though in exceptional cases it may be terminated in seven calendar months, or on the other hand may continue for ten calendar months. The usual method is to figure 280 days from the first day of the last menstruation. A simple method of calculating the probable date of delivery is as follows: Count back three months, and then add seven days, and you will have the date of probable delivery. Example: A woman’s first day of last menstruation is March 28. Counting back three months gives us December 28; and adding seven days to this gives us January 4, as the date of probable delivery. There will always be a possible margin of a few days before or after the ascertained probable date—but the delivery will very closely approximate said date. Ignore the shortage of days of February in this calculation, the same being covered by the general margin allowed.

    Development of the Impregnated Ovum. In the preceding lesson we terminated our consideration of the impregnated ovum at the point at which, after the process of segmentation, the “primitive trace” had appeared. This primitive trace appears as an opaque streak, or straight line, formed of an aggregation of cells of a distinctive quality. This delicate “trace” or “streak” is the first indication of the form of the coming child. It is the basis, pattern, or mould, in or around which the spinal column is to be formed, and around which the entire young body is to be developed by the wonderful and intricate processes of dividing and reduplication, and the folding and combination of cells. From one end of this “trace” develops the head; from the other end develops the lower end of the spine. At a later stage there appear tiny “buds” in the positions at which the arms and legs should be; these gradually develop, and their ends split into tiny fingers and toes, and finally are transformed into perfect little arms and legs, miniatures of those of the adult human being.

    The term “the embryo” is employed to designate the developing young creature in the earlier stages of its development, particularly before the end of the third month of its existence. After the end of the third month the embryo is called “the fetus.” In the short space of 280 days the young creature evolves and develops from a single simple cell into a complex organism—a perfect miniature human being. Nature works a wonderful miracle here, and yet so common is it that we take it all as a matter of course, and lose sight of the miracle. From the most simple forms are formed in the developing creature the most complex organs and parts. The heart is formed from a tiny straight line of cells, by enlargement and partition. The stomach and intestines, likewise, develop from a tiny straight line of cells arranged as a tiny tube—the stomach is formed by dilation of one part of the tube, while the large intestine experiences a similar though lesser distention and a greater growth in length; the smaller intestines being formed by growth in length and circumference. The other organs evolve from similar simple beginnings.

    The embryo is nourished during its earlier stages by means of the “yolk sack,” or “umbilical vesicle,” which is outside the body of the embryo, being joined to it by means of the umbilical duct. This yolk sack (originally formed by a “drawing together” in the ovum, which thus separates itself into two portions or areas) is an important feature of the life of the embryo, as it nourishes and sustains it in its earlier stages. Blood vessels form in this yolk sack, and after a time its fluid is absorbed, and after the third month the sack gradually disappears.

    After the passing away of the yolk sack, the embryo is nourished and sustained by the “allantois,” another peculiar sack which is formed. This sack readily becomes filled with blood-vessels, and serves to nourish the embryo by sustenance obtained from the body of the mother through the walls of the Uterus, a direct communication with the blood-vessels of the mother thus being secured. The blood in the embryo, and that in the mother, come into close contact, thus allowing the embryo to be nourished by the blood of the mother. After a time, in turn, the allantois diminishes and dwindles away, its offices being taken up and performed by the “placenta” or “afterbirth.”

    The Placenta or Afterbirth. The Placenta, or afterbirth, is a round, flat substance or organ, contained within the Uterus, by which communication and connection is established and maintained between the fetus and the mother, by means of the umbillical cord. It is a flat, circular mass, about seven inches in diameter, and weighing about sixteen ounces. It is attached to the sides of the Uterus of the mother during the period of gestation, and is expelled from the body of the mother, as “the afterbirth,” after the birth of the child.

    Let us pause a moment, and reconsider the several steps in Nature’s plan for nourishing the embryo and fetus. In the first place, as we have seen, there is the yolk sack or umbillical vesicle, filled with a fluid which nourishes the embryo. This gradually disappears in time, and is replaced by the “allantois” which by connection with the walls of the Uterus is enabled to nourish the fetus from and by the blood of the mother. For a short time, however, the embryo is nourished by both the yolk sack and the allantois. Then the allantois assumes the entire task, and the yolk sack passes away. Then, later, the placenta replaces the allantois, and the latter passes away as did its predecessor. The placenta works along the same general lines as the allantois, but is a far more complex way and with a much higher degree of efficiency, as we shall see presently.

    The placenta is connected with the body of the fetus by what is known as “the umbillical cord.” The “umbillicus” or “navel” in the human being marks the place at which the umbillical cord entered the body of the fetus, from which it was severed after the birth of the child. The purpose of the umbillical cord is to contain and support the umbillical arteries and veins through which the fetus obtains nourishment from the placental substance, and through which the return blood flows. The rich red arterial blood is carried from the placenta to the fetus, and is then distributed over the body of the fetus, nourishing and building it up; the dark venous blood, laden with the waste products of the body of the fetus, is carried back to the placenta, there to be repurified and rendered again rich and nourishing.

    The story of the circulation of the blood of the fetus is most interesting. Although the fetal blood is derived from that of the mother, as we have said, yet the maternal blood does not pass directly from the circulatory system of the mother into that of the fetus; nor does the blood of the fetus return directly into the circulatory system of the mother. In fact, the fetal blood never comes in direct contact with that of the mother, or vice versa. The fetus has an independent circulatory system of its own, and yet, at the same time, from the moment of the placental connection until the moment of childbirth, all its nourishment is derived from its mother.

    The secret of the above paradoxical statement is made apparent when we understand the meaning of the scientific term “osmosis.” Osmosis is “the passage of a fluid through a membrane”; it is a chemical process, caused by the chemical affinity between two liquids or gases separated one from the other by a porous diaphragm or substance. In the process of osmosis in the case before us, the fetal blood takes up nourishing substances and oxygen from the blood of the mother, and passes on to the latter the waste products of the fetal system, by means of passing these substances through the thin porous membranes which separate the two independent systems of blood vessels, i. e., the system of the fetus, and that of the mother. Before birth, in fact, the fetus has its blood nourished and oxygenated by means of the food partaken of by its mother, and the oxygen taken in by the mother in her breathing. After its birth, the infant eats and breathes for itself, and thus nourishes its blood supply directly, instead of receiving it indirectly from the mother.

    The Placenta begins to be formed about the third month of gestation, and continues to develop steadily from that time. At the time of the delivery of the child the Placenta covers nearly or quite one-third of the inner space of the distended Uterus of the mother. The total “afterbirth” consists of the Placenta, the umbillical cord, and the remaining membranes of the ovum, all of which are expelled after the birth of the child.

    The Amnion. An important appendage contained in the Uterus in connection with the developing fetus is that known as “The Amnion.” This is an inner sack which forms within the womb, and which serves to enclose the fetus, and also to sheath the umbillical cord. The Amnion encloses the embryo very snugly during the early stages of its development, but it gradually becomes distended with a pale watery fluid, known as “the amniotic fluid,” the purpose of which is to “float” the fetus and to give it mechanical support on all sides. This fluid is composed of water carrying in solution small quantities of albumin, urea, and salt.

    Sex in the Embryo and Fetus. It is impossible to determine the sex of the embryo during its early stages. During the fourth week the first traces of the sexual glands appear, but not until the fifth week can the sex be determined even by the microscope. If the embryo is to become a male, certain ducts are transformed into convoluted tubules, and each is attached to the testes which have been formed from the genital nucleus. If the embryo is to become a female, the ducts join to form the uterus and vagina, other portions being transformed into the fallopian tubes and connecting with the ovaries which have been formed otherwise. The outer genitals appear in the early stages of the embryo, but there is no apparent distinction between the sexes, the external organs being the same in all cases, and consisting of a small tubular organ with a small lateral fold of skin on either side. Later, in the male, a groove appears on the under side of this primitive organ, thus forming the urethra, the scrotum being formed from the folded skin at the side. In the female, the primitive organ ceases to develop as in the male, and thus becomes proportionately smaller, and evolves into the clitoris of the female; the two lateral folds, on each side, being transformed into the labia majora, or “outer lips” of the female external genitals.

    Position of the Fetus. During the period of gestation the fetus lies “curled up” in the bag of the amnion. The head is usually relaxed and inclined forward, the chin resting on the breast; the feet are bent up in front of the legs, the legs bent up on the thighs, the knees separated from each other, but the heels almost touching on the back of the thighs; the arms bent forward and the hands placed between them as though to receive the chin between them. The folded-up fetus forms an oval, the longest diameter of which is about eleven inches at its greatest stage of growth. Nature here shows a wonderful ability to pack the fetus into as little space as possible, and in such a position as to protect it from injury, and to discommode the mother as little as possible.

    The following interesting statement made by Helen Idleson, M. D., in a European medical journal several years ago, gives a very clear idea, expressed in popular terms, of the appearance and characteristics of the embryo or fetus in the various stages of its development:

    “The growth of the embryo after fecundation is very rapid. On the tenth day it has the appearance of a semi-transparent grayish flake. On the twelfth day it is nearly the size of a pea, filled with fluid, in the middle of which is an opaque spot, presenting the first appearance of an embryo, which may be clearly seen as an oblong or curved body, and is plainly visible to the naked eye on the fourteenth day. The twenty-first day the embryo resembles an ant or a lettuce seed. Many of its parts now begin to show themselves, especially the cartilaginous beginnings of the spinal column, the heart, etc. The thirtieth day the embryo is as large as a horse-fly, and resembles a worm, bent together. There are as yet no limbs, and the head is larger than the rest of the body. When stretched out it is nearly half an inch long. Toward the fifth week the heart increases greatly in proportion to the remainder of the body, and the rudimentary eyes are indicated by two black spots toward the sides, and the heart exhibits its external form, bearing a close resemblance to that in an adult. In the seventh week, bone begins to form in the lower jaw and clavicle. Narrow streaks on each side of the vertebral column show the beginning of the ribs. The heart is perfecting its form, the brain enlarging, and the eyes and ears growing more perfect, and the limbs sprouting from the body. The lungs are mere sacks, and the trachea is a delicate thread, but the liver is very large. In the seventh week are formed the renal capsules and kidneys.

    “At two months, the forearm and hand can be distinguished, but not the arm; the hand is larger than the forearm, but it is not supplied with fingers. The distinction of sex is yet difficult. The eyes are prominent. The nose forms an obtuse eminence. The nostrils are rounded and separated. The mouth is gaping, and the epidermis can be distinguished from the true skin. The embryo is from one-half to two inches long, the head forming more than one-third of the whole. At the end of three months, the eyelids are distinct but shut; the lips are drawn together; the forehead and nose are clearly traceable, and the organs of generation prominent. The heart beats with force; the larger vessels carry red blood; the fingers and toes are well defined, and the muscles begin to be developed.

    “At the fourth month, the embryo takes the name of ‘fetus.’ The body is six to eight inches in length. The skin has a rosy color, and the muscles produce a sensible motion. A fetus born at this time might live several hours. At five months the length of the body is from eight to ten inches. At six months, the length is twelve and one-half inches. The hair appears on the head, the eyes closed, the eyelids somewhat thicker, and their margins, as well as their eyebrows, are studded with very delicate hairs. At seven months, every part has been increased in volume and perfection; the bony system is nearly complete; length, twelve to fourteen inches. If born at this period, the fetus is able to breathe, cry and nurse, and may live if properly cared for.

    “At eight months, the fetus seems to grow rather in length than in thickness; it is only sixteen to eighteen inches long, and yet weighs from four to five pounds. The skin is very red, and covered with down and a considerable quantity of sebaceous matter. The lower jaw, which at first was very short, is now as long as the upper one. Finally, at term, nine months, the fetus is about nineteen to twenty-three inches long, and weighs from six to eight pounds. The red blood circulates in the capillaries, and the skin performs the functions of perspiration; the nails are fully developed.”

    Another writer says: “There is a superstition that a child born at eight months is not as liable to live as if born at seven months; indeed, many suppose that an eight months’ child never survives. Facts do not prove this idea to be correct. Personally, I have known several eight months’ babies to live and do well, and I believe that their chance of life is much greater than if born at seven months.”

    Children born in the seventh month of gestation are capable of living, though great care is required to rear them for the first few months after birth. The “incubators” now so common in large cities have greatly increased the chances of the “seven months’ child,” and, for that matter, of those born even earlier. There are a number of cases of record where children have been born after six months of gestation, and a few even before the six months, but these cases are rare and unusual, and such children usually die soon after birth.

    The following table, given by a good authority, shows the average length and weight of the human embryo and fetus:

    Age. Length in inches. Weight.
    2 weeks 0.1 Not given
    3 weeks 0.2 3 grains
    4 weeks 0.3 Not given
    5 weeks 0.5 Not given
    6 weeks 0.7 Not given
    7 weeks 0.9 Not given
    8 weeks 1.5 4 drachms
    3 months 3.0 2 ounces
    4 months 6.0 5 ounces
    5 months 9.0 10 ounces
    6 months 12.0 1 pound
    7 months 15.0 3 pounds
    8 months 17.0 5 pounds
    9 months 20.0 6 to 9 pounds

    Professor Clark holds that if at birth the infant weighs less than 5 pounds, it rarely thrives, though the records show that many infants weighing much less than this have lived and thrived. In very rare cases, infants have been known to weigh no more than one pound at birth, and to have still survived and thrived. And, on the other hand, many cases are known where infants were born, and thrived, who weighed more than twice the average weight. So, at the last, it is difficult to lay down hard and fast rules in the case.

    Delivery. At the termination of the period of gestation, the child is born into the world, and, instead of depending upon the blood of the mother for nourishment and oxygen, it begins to ingest its own food, to eliminate its own waste matter through the regular channels of the body, and to use its own lungs for the purpose of obtaining oxygen for its blood and to burn up the waste products in the lungs.

    The process of bringing a child into the world is called “parturition.” The fetus is expelled from the body of the mother by the contraction of the muscles of and around the Uterus, and also by the contraction of the abdominal walls. In the early stages of labor, the uterine muscles are brought into play; but when the fetus enters into the vaginal passage the abdominal muscles manifest their energy. The uterine and abdominal muscular movements are purely involuntary, although the mother may aid in the delivery by voluntary muscular movements. The involuntary muscular movements are due to the reflex action originating, probably, in a part of the spinal cord.

    The uterine contractions are rhythmical, and have been compared to the contraction of the muscles of the heart. Each “labor pain” begins with a minimum of contraction, the activity increasing until a maximum is reached, when it gradually decreases, only to be followed a little later by a new contraction. When the fetus is finally expelled from the Uterus (followed later by the placenta or “afterbirth”) that organ begins a gradual contraction to its normal size, shape, and condition, the restorative process usually lasting over several weeks.

    The Physical Signs of Pregnancy. The physical signs of pregnancy in the case of women of normal health are as follows:

    (1) Cessation of the menses, or menstruation. While it is true that a non-pregnant woman may occasionally pass over a menstrual period, yet as a general rule the complete cessation of a period by a married woman, particularly when the woman has previously been regular in this respect, may be considered a probable indication of pregnancy; and when the second period has been passed the probability merges almost into a certainty. An examination by a competent physician will set all doubts at rest.

    (2) Enlargement of the breasts. This indication usually manifests itself in about six or eight weeks after conception. This enlargement is usually preceded by a sensation of tingling and throbbing. The enlargement is manifested in the form of a rather hard and knotty increase, differing from the ordinary fatty increase; the lobules, arranged regularly around the nipple, are plainly distinguishable beneath the skin by means of the touch of the fingers.

    (3) Darkening of the areolar tissue surrounding the nipple. In the unimpregnated condition this tissue is of a pinkish shade; but after impregnation the shade grows darker and the circle increases in size. However, when the woman bears several children in somewhat rapid succession, this dark color may become permanent and accordingly ceases to be an indication.

    (4) Enlargement of the abdomen. This indication manifests itself about the second month, at which time the Uterus begins to elevate the intestines by rising up from the pelvis. In the fourth month the Uterus has risen so far out of the pelvis that it assumes the form and appearance of a hard round tumor. The entire abdomen then begins to enlarge. The Uterus causes an enlargement in the region of the navel at the sixth month, and the region of the diaphragm at the ninth month.

    (5) Quickening, or “signs of life.” This indication manifests first from the fourth month to the fifth—at about the exact half of the entire period of gestation. At this time, and afterward, the movements of the embryo are plainly discernable to the mother.

    The Disorders of Pregnancy. There are a number of physical disorders usually accompanying pregnancy, some of which are trifling, but some of which require the advice of a competent physician. The best plan is for the woman to consult a physician shortly after she discovers herself to be pregnant, and thereafter to visit him occasionally for advice during the period of gestation. The too common plan of postponing the call upon the physician until the eighth or ninth month is not a wise one, for in many cases the advice of a competent physician at an earlier stage of the pregnancy will obviate serious complications. The call upon the physician should usually be made not later than the third or fourth month, and positively not delayed longer than the fifth month. The physician should make an examination to ascertain whether the child is in the normal position in the Uterus, and should also examine the urine each month to ascertain whether the kidneys are functioning normally.

    What is called “morning sickness” is one of the most common of the disorders of pregnancy. It is marked by nausea or vomiting, or both, early in the morning, usually shortly after arising. Some women have at least faint symptoms of this disorder from the very beginning of conception, but usually it does not manifest until the third, fourth, or fifth week of pregnancy. It usually ceases at the end of the third or fourth month. Except in very severe cases, in which the physician should be consulted, the disorder is not serious, and requires but a little common-sense treatment, and rational habits of living. An authority says: “Eat of some fruit that best agrees with palate or stomach; drink hot water; eat nothing until a real hunger demands food. Where nausea occurs after eating, a tart apple or orange is good.” Another authority says: “Let women suffering from morning sickness try acid fruit—apples, oranges, or even lemons, if their sourness is not unpleasant. If a single orange or apple after each meal does not suffice, let them try two; let them eat ten if that number is necessary to conquer the distress. The principle is a correct one, and the relief certain. Let fruit be eaten at all hours of the day—before meals and after, on going to bed at night and at getting up in the morning. If berries are in season, let them be eaten in the natural state—that is, without sugar. If the sickness still continues, omit a meal now and then, and substitute fruit in its stead. By persistence in this course, not only will nausea be conquered, but an easy confinement guaranteed.”

    The pregnant woman often develops a capricious appetite. This disorder may manifest in one or more of several forms, as for instance: the woman may lose her appetite, and take but little food; or she may develop an abnormally large appetite, and eat much more than is necessary; or she may take a dislike to certain kinds of food—many women have an aversion toward meat during pregnancy; or she may have a “craving” for certain articles of food, sometimes for kinds of food not liked at other times, such as sour pickles, sour cabbage, etc. A little common sense, and the presence of attractive articles of fruits, etc., will do much to relieve these troubles; in extreme cases the physician’s advice will help.

    The pregnant woman should have her teeth put in good order as soon as possible, as troubles with teeth sometimes manifest themselves during pregnancy, and give much trouble and annoyance. Difficulty in urination, constipation, piles, irritation or itching of the genital organs, varicose veins, liver spots, and similar disorders, which are sometimes manifest during pregnancy, in some form or degree, should receive the attention and care of a competent physician.

    The following general advice from a competent authority is worthy of being followed: “If everything is satisfactory, if there is no severe vomiting, kidney trouble, etc., the usual mixed diet may continue. The only changes I would make are the following: Drink plenty of hot water during the entire time of pregnancy: a glass or two in the morning, two or three glasses in the afternoon, the same at night. From six to twelve glasses may be consumed. Also plenty of milk, buttermilk and fermented milk. Plenty of fruit and vegetables. Meat only once a day. For the tendency to constipation, whole wheat bread, rye bread, bread baked of bran, or bran with cream. As to exercise, either extreme must be avoided. Some women think that as soon as they become pregnant, they must not move a muscle; they are to be put in a glass case, and kept there until the date of delivery. Other women, on the other hand, of the ultra-modern type, indulge in strenuous exercise, and go out on long fatiguing walks up to the last day. Either extreme is injurious. The right way is moderate exercise, and short, non-fatiguing walks. Bathing may be kept up to the day of the delivery. But warm baths, particularly during the last two or three months, are preferable to cold baths.”

    Childbirth. The first indication of approaching delivery of the child is that of the descent of the child into the pelvis of the mother, from its former position up near the diaphragm. When this occurs, the mother usually experiences a feeling of relief, and a greater ease in breathing because of the relaxation of the former pressure on the diaphragm. Sometimes this occurs several days preceding delivery, while in other cases it occurs only a few hours before delivery. There usually occurs about the same time a slight discharge of mucus tinged with blood. The latter is called “the show,” and is caused by the unsealing of the mouth of the womb, and indicates that the Uterus is preparing to discharge its contents.

    Labor, in childbirth, consists of three stages. In the first stage, the Uterus alone contracts, and the mouth of the womb dilates; in the second stage, the abdominal muscles assist the Uterus in expelling the child; in the third stage, the Placenta (afterbirth) and membranes are expelled.

    After the delivery of the child, and after the pulsation in the umbillical cord has ceased (usually from ten to thirty minutes after delivery), the umbillical cord is severed and tied by the physician. In natural labor, the expulsion of the afterbirth occurs from within a few minutes to an hour after the delivery of the child. Nature is sometimes slow in expelling the afterbirth, but caution should be exercised in the matter of using force to assist Nature in this matter, for injury to the Uterus has often resulted from malpractice in such a case. The afterbirth is not firmly attached to the womb, but is like the peel of an orange which Nature sloughs off in due time.

    PRIVATE Sex Advice to Women By R. B. Armitage, M. D.

    For Young Wives and those who Expect to be Married.

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  • PHYSIOLOGY OF THE FEMALE SEX ORGANISM

    PHYSIOLOGY OF THE FEMALE SEX ORGANISM

    In the preceding lesson you have been shown “just what” each one of the sex organs of the woman is. In the present lesson you will be shown “just what” each of these organs does—what its functions and offices are. The preceding lesson dealt with the anatomy of these organs; the present lesson will deal with the physiology thereof.

    Beginning with the Ovaries, the fundamental and basic sex organs of the woman, you will have explained to you the wonderful processes performed by each of these organs in turn.

    The Ovaries. The Ovaries in the woman are akin to the testicles in the man. Without the Ovaries there would be no ova or eggs, and without the ova there would be possible no reproductive purposes, and therefore no office for the sex organs at all, for reproduction is the fundamental office, function, and purpose of the entire sexual organism.

    In our consideration of the office, purposes, and functions of the Ovaries, however, we must not overlook a certain secondary phase of such functioning. While it is true that the primary purpose of both the testicles of the male, and the Ovaries of the female, is that of providing seed from which the offspring of the individual may be produced, it is likewise true that there exists a secondary purpose which may be called the “individual” purpose as contrasted with the “racial” and primary one.

    This secondary or “individual” purpose of the Ovaries is that of manufacturing certain secretions which are absorbed by the blood of the woman, and which play an important part in her physical and mental well-being and activities. These secretions begin before puberty in the woman, and continue after her menopause; whereas the manufacture of the ova begins only at puberty, and ceases with the menopause, keeping pace with the manifestation of menstruation in its beginning and its ending.

    Nature provides these chemical secretions from the Ovaries for the purpose of giving the woman her characteristic physical form and contour, her form, her breasts, her long hair, her broad pelvis, her soft voice, and other secondary sex characteristics; and also of providing for the normal development of the other sex organs. As a proof of this statement, science shows us that if a woman’s ovaries are completely removed there is usually a consequent atrophy or “drying up” of the Uterus and the Vagina, and often even of the Vulva. Moreover, the presence of this internal secretion manifests in arousing and maintaining in the woman her normal sexual desire, and her normal pleasure in the company of her mate; it being noted that if the ovaries are removed, particularly in early life, the woman is apt to lose all sexual desire and normal womanly feeling toward the other sex. And, finally, these secretions make for general physical and mental health and well-being in the woman, and contribute to her vivacity, energy, and activity in all directions. As writers on the subject have well pointed out, this is the reason that capable surgeons usually try to leave at least a portion of the Ovaries when performing an operation for the removal of those organs on account of diseased condition.

    The Ovum. The Ovum, or human egg, is a small spherical body, measuring from one two-hundred-and-fortieth to one one-hundred-and-twentieth of an inch in diameter. It has a colorless transparent envelope, the latter enclosing the yolk which consists of granules or globules of various sizes embedded in a viscid fluid. In the center of the yolk is found a very small vesicular body consisting of a tenuous transparent membrane, which is known as “the germinal vesicle;” this, in turn, contains a very tiny granular structure, opaque, of yellow color, known as “the germinal spot.”

    When the time is reached in which the ovum or egg is to be discharged, the Graafian follicle becomes enlarged by reason of the accumulation of the fluids in its interior, and exerts such a steady and increasing pressure from within, outward, that the surrounding tissue yields to it, and it finally protrudes from the Ovary, from whence it is then expelled with a gush, owing to the elasticity and reaction of the neighboring tissues.

    Following this rupture there occurs an abundant hemorrhage from the vesicles of the follicle, the cavity being filled with blood, which then coagulates and is retained in the Graafian follicle. The formation and development of the Graafian follicle begins at puberty and continues until the menopause or “change of life” of the woman. Many follicles are produced, but many do not produce ova, and so gradually atrophy. The ripening and discharge of the eggs produce a peculiar condition of congestion of the entire female sexual organism, including the Fallopian Tubes, the Uterus, the Vagina, and even of the Vulva, which results in a condition of Sexual Excitement. Among the lower animals the female will allow the male to approach her for copulation only at this period, this being the time when the egg is ready for fertilization.

    When the female infant is born, her Ovaries contain the germs of about 100,000 ova. The greater portion of these, however, disappear, until at the time of her puberty the number of germs of ova contains only about 30,000 ova. This number is far more than the woman will ever need, and is Nature’s provision against diseased portions of the Ovaries, accidents, etc. Only one ovum ripens and matures each month from puberty until menopause, so that the woman really requires only about 300 to 350 ova on the average. This liberality on the part of Nature, however, does not begin to approach her lavishness in the case of seed of the male, for in his case while only one spermatozoon is required to fertilize an ovum (and in fact only one is permitted to do so), we find that in each normal act of ejaculation of semen by the male over 250,000 spermatozoa are projected.

    The ripening and discharge of the egg from the Ovaries, and the consequent congestion above referred to, accompanied by what is called Menstruation, occurs regularly each lunar month (28 days). What is called Ovulation consists of the monthly maturing and expulsion of the ripe ovum or egg, while Menstruation (as we shall see later on) consists of the monthly discharge of blood and mucus from the inner surface of the Uterus; the two processes occur in connection with each other, yet neither can be considered as the cause of the other.

    Menstruation. It may be well to call your attention at this point to the process known as Menstruation, or “the monthly flow,” or “the courses” of women. Menstruation is the monthly flow of bloody fluid which occurs in all healthy (non-pregnant) women from puberty to the menopause or “change of life.”

    By “Puberty” is meant the age at which a woman begins her period of possible child-bearing experience. In temperate climates the average age of puberty is about fourteen years, while in tropical countries it is often a year or so earlier, and in arctic countries a year or so later. The time, however, depends materially upon the temperament, race, hygiene, and general environment of the individual girl. At this period the girl gradually changes into the young woman. Her figure changes, her bust develops, her hips broaden, and her mental and emotional nature undergoes a change. Also the menstrual flow begins to manifest at this time; at first scanty and irregular, but gradually changing into the characteristic flow each month.

    At the period of puberty, the girl undergoes marked emotional changes. She becomes very “emotional” as a rule, and quite “sensitive.” She becomes filled with strange, unaccountable longings, ideas, and “notions.” She usually manifests a great emotional interest in her girl friends, and often manifests marked jealousy in connection with these friendships. The girl is apt to indulge in day-dreaming at this period, and becomes quite romantic and “flighty.” She devours love stories, and delights in imagining herself as the heroine of similar adventures. The period from the beginning of puberty to that of the attainment of full sexual maturity is known as the period of “adolescence,” and generally extends to about the age of eighteen in the case of girls.

    By the Menopause is meant that period of the woman’s “change of life,” the average time of which is about the age of forty-five years, although this varies greatly in different individuals. As a rule, it is held that the period of the woman’s child-bearing possibility extends over an average period of thirty years. At the Menopause the woman’s reproductive activity declines and finally ends. The Ovaries diminish in size, the Graafian follicles cease to form and develop; the Fallopian Tubes atrophy; and there occur other physical, mental, and emotional changes in the woman. While the age of forty-five is held to be the average age at which the Menopause occurs in women, still it is not at all uncommon to find women who menstruate regularly up to the age of fifty, or fifty-two, or even fifty-five, while a large number of women menstruate regularly at the age of forty-eight.

    Some women undergo little or no physical or emotional disturbance at the time of the Menopause. In such cases their periods become more or less irregular, with extending intervals between periods; the flow becomes more and more scanty; then several periods are skipped altogether; and finally the periods cease entirely. Other women, however, experience more or less physical disturbance during the years of the “change.” They sometimes experience loss of appetite, or a capricious appetite, headaches, loss of weight, or else a sudden taking on of fatty tissue. They often become quite irritable and “notiony,” and often become quarrelsome and pugnacious, and in some cases manifest unreasonable jealousy. But, in the opinion of many of the best authorities, much of this trouble comes from the mental expectancy of them by the woman, resulting from the notion that a woman must have these things happen to her. The power of the mind over the body is now well known, and we have here another instance of its effect. The remedy is obvious.

    Another matter which disturbs the woman at this time, in many cases, is the common belief that after “the change” she will lose all of her sex attractiveness, and her sexual feelings, etc. This is a grave error, for the experience of all observing physicians is that no such results follow this period of the woman’s life. Many women become even more attractive to the other sex after this time, by reason of acquiring a certain maturity and “ripeness” which proves very attractive to many men—often to young men as well as older ones. Moreover, the sexual desires do not cease with the cessation of the reproductive functions. On the contrary, it often happens that such emotions and desires are increased in the woman at, and after, this time of her life. So true is this that this period has been called “The Dangerous Age” for women, and the experience of many a woman of forty-five to fifty will corroborate this statement. The woman at this time should beware of contracting unwise love affairs and entanglements, and of yielding to impulses toward men other than her mate. A word to the wise should be sufficient in this case.

    To return to the main subject of Menstruation, it may be said that the monthly flow, when once established, occurs at intervals of every twenty-eight days, on the average, although in some individual cases it occurs as often as every twenty-one days, while in others it occurs as seldom as once in every six weeks, all without exceeding the bounds of normal functioning. Menstruation ceases temporarily during pregnancy, in normal cases, and often also ceases during the period of lactation or nursing. The menstrual period lasts on an average for four or five days, the flow increasing for the first half of the period, and decreasing during the last half. At the beginning of the period there is often manifested a general congestion of all of the sexual organs of the woman, and often of the breasts as well. There is also usually found a sense of physical discomfort, from which more or less irritable feeling arises. In rare cases there are found severe cramps and pains, and in some cases the woman finds it necessary to call in medical aid, or to go to bed, or both. In such cases a cure is often worked by improving the general health, and by observing common sense hygienic rules.

    Menstruation is caused by a hypertrophy of the mucus membrane of inner surface of the Uterus, which is followed by a shedding of the hypertrophied membrane. This leaves exposed the underlying vessels, which bleed. New mucus membrane is formed after the period. The menstrual flow consists of a thin, bloody fluid, having peculiar odor, in which is combined blood, thin skin, and mucus membrane, and also mucus from the Uterus and the Vagina, the blood being light in consistency and not clotted.

    During the menstrual period the ovum, or egg, is discharged, and enters the Uterus, as we shall see presently.

    The Life-History of the Ovum. The physiology of the remaining sexual organs of the woman may perhaps best be studied by considering the story of the Life-History of the Ovum, or human egg, for the functions of such organs are concerned with such life-history of the egg, and really exist merely to create such a history, or rather, to produce the process which constitutes the basis of such history.

    The ovum, or egg, when discharged from the ovary, is at first surrounded by a few cells which serve as nourishment, but which soon disappear. It enters the Fallopian Tube and begins its journey toward the Uterus, being urged on its way by the constant movement of the lining-cells of the interior of the tube, in the direction of the Uterus. Certain changes in structure occur. Its passage to the Uterus may be interrupted, and the ovum lost and finally cast off. But the ovum that is successful finally arrives at the Uterus where it awaits impregnation or fertilization by the spermatozoon of the male.

    If copulation occurs within a reasonable time after the arrival of the ovum, it is impregnated or fertilized. Fecundation results and conception ensues, the ovum then remaining attached to the walls of the Uterus, and in time develops into the foetus. If, however, the ovum is not impregnated, because of absence of copulation or from other causes, it gradually loses its vitality, and is finally cast off with the several uterine secretions.

    It should be explained here that the “spermatozoon” of the male (the plural of the term is “spermatozoa”) is the male generative “seed.” The sperum, semen, or seminal fluid of the male is filled with hundreds of thousands of spermatozoa. Each spermatozoon is a minute living, moving creature, resembling a microscopic tadpole. It has a head, a rod-like body, and a thin hair-like tail, the latter being kept in constant motion from side to side, by means of which the tiny creature is enabled to travel rapidly from one point to another. The human spermatozoon measures about one six-hundredth of an inch in length. It is composed of protoplasm, the substance of which all living creatures are composed. The spermatozoa are believed to be developed from a parent sperm-cell, by the process of segmentation or subdivision, which process is common to all cell-life. The numerous spermatozoa dwell in a gelatinous substance, which, mingling with the other fluidic secretions of the glands of the male, constitutes the male seminal fluid, sperm, or semen, which is ejaculated by the male during the process of copulation.

    Fecundation (i. e. fertilization, impregnation; the process by which the male reproductive element is brought in contact with the female ovum or egg) is brought about by the blending of the male reproductive element (or spermatozoon) with the female reproductive element (or ovum, or egg). This blending is of course accomplished by the bringing together in mutual contact the two reproductive elements just mentioned. The sexual act which results in this “bringing together” of the two elements is known as “copulation,” or “coition.” In copulation or coition the seminal fluid of the male, containing an enormous number of spermatozoa, is ejaculated from the male intromittent organ into the receptive canal or channel of the female (the Vagina), and in this way finally comes into actual contact with the female ovum or egg which is awaiting it in the Uterus of the female.

    The spermatozoa (in the process of copulation) are deposited in the Vagina of the female, usually at its upper end, but sometimes in the lower portion; and in rare andpeculiar cases even at or about the Vaginal Orifice or outer vaginal opening. In either case they travel up the remaining portion of the Vagina and finally enter the Uterus or womb. The spermatozoa possess wonderful vitality and power of locomotion. There are cases recorded in which the spermatozoa deposited on or about the outer female genitals have managed to travel inward and upward until they have finally reached the Uterus, where conception has resulted. Such cases, of course, are rare, but they exist, well authenticated and accepted by medical science as facts.

    It must not be supposed, however, that the impregnation of the ovum occurs only in the womb proper. Cases are known in which the spermatozoa have traveled along the Fallopian Tubes and impregnated the ovum there; and in very rare cases the spermatozoon seems to have penetrated even to the Ovary itself, and there impregnated the ovum on the surface of the Ovary. Some excellent authorities, in fact, insist that all normal impregnation occurs at the end of the Fallopian Tube—the point of its entrance into the upper part of the womb, rather than in the body of the womb, or at its mouth, as the older authorities taught. But wherever the actual contact of spermatozoon and ovum occurs, the blending of the elements is performed and fertilization, impregnation, or fecundation is accomplished.

    As a result of copulation, then, the spermatozoon (or a number of spermatozoa) comes in contact with the female ovum or egg. Then one or more of them, by means of a furious lashing of the tiny tail, manages to penetrate the outer covering of the ovum, and enters the space between the outer covering and the real body of the egg. Several spermatozoa may effect an entrance into this outer space, but only one is permitted to enter the real body of the egg. [Twins are produced by the impregnation of two ova by two spermatozoa, at the same time. The presence of the two ova at the same time is unusual]. The moment that the real body of the ovum is penetrated by the successful spermatozoon, a tough covering or thick membrane forms around the ovum and thus prevents the entrance of other spermatozoa. The successful spermatozoon then loses its tail, and the remaining head and body become what is known as “the male pronucleus.”

    The authorities are uncertain as to the exact nature of the change which occurs when the ovum is penetrated by the spermatozoon. The outward manifestations of the change and transformation arising from the blending of the male and female elements are of course well known, but the “life process” eludes the power of the microscope. When Nature forms the thick membranous coating over the impregnated ovum, she draws the veil over one of her most important secrets. The first segmentation-nucleus having been formed by the blending and forging together of the male and female pronuclei, the process of segmentation begins.

    Segmentation proceeds as follows: the impregnated egg splits into halves, forming two joined cells; then into quarters, forming four joined cells; then into sixteenths, then into thirty-seconds, sixty-fourths, and so on, until the ovum consists of a combined mass of very minute granular-like cells, the whole resembling a mulberry. The segmentation of the nucleus precedes and then continues with the segmentation of the yolk. After the egg has been divided into a great number of these cells, the latter begin a centrifugal action resulting in the formation of a complete inner lining of closely packed cells, with a central cavity filled with the yolk liquid.

    In the meantime, the Uterus has been prepared for the reception of the impregnated and transformed ovum. A thick, spongy, juicy, mucus membrane forms, into whichthe changing ovum passes and attaches itself; the mucus membrane soon enveloping it and shutting it off from the rest of the Uterus. There now appears at one point on the ovum an opaque streak, which is called “the primitive trace” of the embryo—the first beginning of the young living creature. The “primitive trace” then grows in length and breadth. At this point we must leave the history of the ovum, or human egg, for the present; its further development will be related in the succeeding lesson, the subject of which is “Gestation.”

    PRIVATE Sex Advice to Women By R. B. Armitage, M. D.

    For Young Wives and those who Expect to be Married.

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  • Women in the New Age

    Women in the New Age

    42. The Transvaluation of Values

    The gradual emancipation of ladies that has been happening for the final century has nonetheless a protracted technique to proceed earlier than they’re wholly delivered from their conventional burdens and so stand away from the oppressions of males. But already, it should be plain, they’ve made monumental progress—maybe greater than they made within the ten thousand years previous. The rise of the commercial system, which has borne so harshly upon the race normally, has introduced them sure unmistakable advantages. Their financial dependence, although nonetheless adequate to make marriage extremely enticing to them, is nonetheless thus far damaged down that giant lessons of ladies are actually virtually free brokers, and fairly impartial of the favour of males. Most of those girls, responding to concepts which can be nonetheless highly effective, are but intrigued, after all, by marriage, and like it to the autonomy that’s coming in, however the truth stays that they now have a free alternative within the matter, and that dire necessity now not controls them. After all, they needn’t marry if they do not need to; it’s doable to get their bread by their very own labour within the workshops of the world. Their grandmothers had been in a much more troublesome place. Failing marriage, they not solely suffered a merciless ignominy, however in lots of instances confronted the menace of precise hunger. There was merely no respectable place within the economic system of these occasions for the free girl. She both needed to enter a nunnery or settle for a disdainful patronage that was as galling as charity.

    Nothing might be plainer than the impact that the rising financial safety of ladies is having upon their entire behavior of life and thoughts. The diminishing marriage fee and the much more quickly diminishing delivery charges present which manner the wind is blowing. It is frequent for male statisticians, with attribute imbecility, to ascribe the autumn within the marriage fee to a rising disinclination on the male aspect. This rising disinclination is definitely on the feminine aspect. Even although no appreciable physique of ladies has but reached the particular doctrine that marriage is much less fascinating than freedom, it should be plain that giant numbers of them now method the enterprise with far better fastidiousness than their grandmothers and even their moms exhibited. They are tougher to please, and therefore happy much less usually. The girl of a century in the past may think about nothing extra beneficial to her than marriage; even marriage with a fifth fee man was higher than no marriage in any respect. This notion is progressively feeling the opposition of a opposite notion. Women normally should desire marriage to work, however there may be an rising minority which begins to understand that work could supply the better contentment, notably if it’s mellowed by a certain quantity of philandering.

    There already seems on the planet, certainly, a category of ladies, who, whereas nonetheless not genuinely averse to marriage, are but free from any idea that it’s needed, and even invariably fascinating. Among these girls are an excellent many considerably vociferous propagandists, virtually male of their violent earnestness; they vary from the man-eating suffragettes to such preachers of free motherhood as Ellen Key and such skilled shockers of the bourgeoisie because the American prophetess of birth-control, Margaret Sanger. But amongst them are many extra who wake the world with no such noisy eloquence, however content material themselves with finishing up their concepts in a quiet and respectable method. The variety of such girls is way bigger than is usually imagined, and that quantity tends to extend steadily. They are girls who, with their financial independence assured, both by inheritance or by their very own efforts, mainly within the arts and professions, do precisely as they please, and make no pother about it. Naturally sufficient, their superiority to conference and the frequent frenzy makes them extraordinarily enticing to the higher form of males, and so it isn’t unusual for certainly one of them to seek out herself voluntarily sought in marriage, with none preliminary scheming by herself—certainly an expertise that only a few odd girls ever get pleasure from, save maybe in desires or delirium.

    The previous order changeth and giveth place to the brand new. Among the ladies’s golf equipment and within the girls’s faculties, I’ve little doubt, there may be nonetheless a lot debate of the previous and foolish query: Are platonic relations doable between the sexes? In different phrases, is friendship doable with out intercourse? Many a girl of the brand new order dismisses the issue with one other query: Why with out intercourse? With the decay of the traditional idea of ladies as property there should come inevitably a reconsideration of the entire intercourse query, and out of that reconsideration there should come a revision of the mediaeval penalties which now punish the slightest frivolity within the feminine. The notion that honour in girls is completely a bodily matter, {that a} single aberrance could convert a girl of the best deserves into a girl of none in any respect, that the only real invaluable factor a girl can convey to marriage is virginity—this notion is so preposterous that no clever particular person, male or feminine, truly cherishes it. It survives as one of many hole conventions of Christianity; nay, of the levantine barbarism that preceded Christianity. As girls throw off the opposite conventions which now bind them they are going to throw off this one, too, and so their advantage, grounded upon fastidiousness and self-respect as an alternative of upon mere concern and conformity, will grow to be afar extra laudable factor than it ever may be below the current system. And for its absence, in the event that they see match to get rid of it, they are going to no extra apologize than a person apologizes immediately.

    43. The Lady of Joy

    Even prostitution, in the long term, could grow to be a roughly respectable occupation, because it was within the nice days of the Greeks. That high quality will certainly connect to it if ever it grows fairly pointless; no matter is pointless is at all times respectable, for instance, faith, modern clothes, and a information of Latin grammar. The prostitute is disesteemed immediately, not as a result of her commerce entails something intrinsically degrading and even unpleasant, however as a result of she is presently assumed to have been pushed into it by dire necessity, towards her dignity and inclination. That this assumption is normally unsound is not any objection to it; practically all of the pondering of the world, notably within the area of morals, is predicated upon unsound assumption, e.g., that God observes the autumn of a sparrow and is shocked by the autumn of a Sunday-school superintendent. The fact is that prostitution is without doubt one of the most tasty of the occupations virtually open to the form of girls who have interaction in it, and that the prostitute generally likes her work, and wouldn’t trade locations with a shop-girl or a waitress for something on the planet. The notion on the contrary is propagated by unsuccessful prostitutes who fall into the fingers {of professional} reformers, and who assent to the imbecile theories of the latter as a way to domesticate their good will, simply as convicts in jail, questioned by tee-totalers, at all times ascribe their rascality to alcohol. No prostitute of something resembling regular intelligence is below the slightest duress; she is completely free to desert her commerce and go into a store or manufacturing facility or into home service each time the impulse strikes her; all of the prevailing gabble about white slave jails and kidnappers comes from pious rogues who make a dwelling by feeding such nonsense to the credulous. So lengthy as the common prostitute is ready to make an excellent dwelling, she is sort of content material together with her lot, and disposed to distinction it egotistically with the slavery of her virtuous sisters. If she complains of it, then you might ensure that her success is under her expectations. A ravenous lawyer at all times sees injustice, within the courts. A nasty doctor is a bitter critic of Ehrlich and Pasteur. And when a suburban clergyman is pressured out of his treatment by a vestry-room revolution he virtually invariably concludes that the sinfulness of man is incurable, and typically he even begins to doubt among the typographical errors in Holy Writ.

    The excessive worth set upon virginity by males, whose esteem of it’s primarily based upon a mix of vainness and voluptuousness, causes many ladies to protect it in their very own individuals with a jealousy far past their non-public inclinations and pursuits. It is their idea that the lack of it could materially impair their probabilities of marriage. This idea isn’t supported by the information. The fact is that the girl who sacrifices her chastity, all the pieces else being equal, stands a significantly better probability of creating a creditable marriage than the girl who stays chaste. This is very true of ladies of the decrease financial lessons. At as soon as they arrive into contact, hitherto socially troublesome and typically virtually unimaginable, with males of upper lessons, and start to tackle, with the curious facility of their intercourse, the refinements and tastes and factors of view of these lessons. The mistress thus gathers allure, and what has begun as a sordid sale of amiability not uncommonly ends with formal marriage. The variety of such marriages is enormously better than seems superficially, for each events clearly make each effort to hide the information. Within the circle of my essentially restricted private acquaintance I do know of scores of males, a few of them of wealth and place, who’ve made such marriages, and who don’t appear to remorse it. It is an previous commentary, certainly, {that a} girl who has beforehand disposed of her advantage makes an excellent spouse. The frequent idea is that it’s because she is grateful to her husband for rescuing her from social outlawry; the reality is that she makes an excellent spouse as a result of she is a shrewd girl, and has specialised professionally in masculine weak spot, and is thus extra-competent on the conventional enterprise of her intercourse. Such a girl usually reveals a really magnificent sagacity. It could be very troublesome to deceive her logically, and it’s unimaginable to disarm her emotionally. Her revolt towards the pruderies and sentimentalities of the world was proof, to start with, of her mental enterprise and braveness, and her success as a insurgent is proof of her extraordinary pertinacity, resourcefulness and acumen.

    Even probably the most lowly prostitute is healthier off, in all worldly methods, than the virtuous girl of her personal station in life. She has much less work to do, it’s much less monotonous and dispiriting, she meets a far better number of males, and they’re of lessons distinctly past her personal. Nor is her occupation hazardous and her final destiny tragic. A dozen or extra years in the past I noticed a considerably amusing proof of this final. At that point sure sentimental busybodies of the American metropolis during which I lived undertook an elaborate inquiry into prostitution therein, and a few of them got here to me prematurely, as a sensible journalist, for recommendation as to the way to proceed. I discovered that each one of them shared the frequent superstition that the skilled lifetime of the common prostitute is simply 5 years lengthy, and that she invariably ends within the gutter. They had been enormously amazed after they unearthed the reality. This fact was to the impact that the common prostitute of that city ended her profession, not within the morgue however on the altar of God, and that those that remained single usually continued in follow for ten, fifteen and even twenty years, after which retired on competences. It was established, certainly, that absolutely eighty per cent married, and that they virtually at all times obtained husbands who would have been far past their attain had they remained virtuous. For one who married a cabman or petty pugilist there have been a dozen who married respectable mechanics, policemen, small shopkeepers and minor officers, and a minimum of two or three who married well-to-do tradesmen {and professional} males. Among the 1000’s whose careers had been studied there was truly one who ended because the spouse of the city’s richest banker—that’s, one who bagged the perfect catch in the entire group. This girl had begun as a home servant, and deserted that harsh and dreary life to enter a brothel. Her experiences there polished and civilized her, and in her previous age she was a grande dame of nice dignity. Much of the sympathy wasted upon girls of the traditional occupation is grounded upon an error as to their very own angle towards it. An educated girl, listening to {that a} frail sister in a public stew is anticipated to be amiable to all kinds of bounders, thinks of how she would shrink from such contacts, and so concludes that the precise prostitute suffers acutely. What she overlooks is that these males, nonetheless gross and repulsive they could seem to her, are measurably superior to males of the prostitute’s personal class—say her father and brothers—and that communion with them, removed from being disgusting, is usually relatively romantic. I effectively keep in mind observing, throughout my collaboration with the vice-crusaders aforesaid, the delight of a girl of pleasure who had attracted the discover of a police lieutenant; she was intensely happy by the concept of getting a consumer of such haughty manners, such sensible costume, and what appeared to her to be so dignified a occupation. It is at all times forgotten that this weak spot isn’t confined to prostitutes, however run by the entire feminine intercourse. The girl who couldn’t think about a bootleg affair with a rich cleaning soap producer and even with a lawyer finds it fairly simple to think about herself succumbing to an envoy or a duke. There are only a few exceptions to this rule. In probably the most reserved of recent societies the ladies who characterize their highest flower are notoriously complaisant to royalty. And royal girls, to finish the circuit, not sometimes yield to actors and musicians, i.e., to males radiating a glamour not encountered even in princes.

    44. The Future of Marriage

    The transvaluation of values that’s now in progress will go on slowly and for a really lengthy whereas. That it’s going to ever be fairly full is, after all, unimaginable. There are inherent variations will proceed to point out themselves till the top of time. As girl progressively turns into satisfied, not solely of the potential for financial independence, but in addition of its worth, she’s going to in all probability lose her current overmastering need for marriage, and tackle herself to assembly males in free financial competitors. That is to say, she’s going to tackle herself to buying that sensible competence, that prime expertise for puerile and mainly mechanical expertness, which now units man forward of her within the labour market of the world. To do that she must sacrifice a few of her current intelligence; it’s unimaginable to think about a genuinely clever human being turning into a reliable trial lawyer, or buttonhole employee, or newspaper sub-editor, or piano tuner, or home painter. Women, to get upon all fours with males in such silly occupations, must commit non secular suicide, which might be a lot additional than they are going to ever truly go. Thus a shade of their current superiority to males will at all times stay, and with it a shade of their relative inefficiency, and so marriage will stay enticing to them, or in any respect occasions to most of them, and its overthrow might be prevented. To abolish it completely, as sure fevered reformers suggest, can be as troublesome as to abolish the precession of the equinoxes.

    At the current time girls vacillate considerably absurdly between two schemes of life, the previous and the brand new. On the one hand, their financial independence continues to be stuffed with circumstances, and however they’re in revolt towards the immemorial conventions. The result’s a normal unrest, with many signs of extravagant and unintelligent revolt. One of these signs is the looks of mental striving in girls—not a striving, alas, towards the real pearls and rubies of the thoughts, however one merely towards the acquirement of the rubber stamps that males make use of of their so-called pondering. Thus we’ve girls who launch themselves into get together politics, and fill their heads with an enormous mass of ineffective information about political methods, customs, theories and personalities. Thus, too, we’ve the girl social reformer, trailing alongside ridiculously behind a tatterdemalion posse of male utopians, every with one thing to promote. And thus we’ve the girl who goes in for superior knowledge of the kind on draught in girls’s golf equipment—in short, the form of knowledge which consists completely of a physique of beliefs and propositions which can be ignorant, unimportant and unfaithful. Such banal striving is most prodigally on show within the United States, the place superficiality quantities to a nationwide illness. Its reputation is because of the comparatively better leisure of the American individuals, who work lower than another individuals on the planet, and, above all, to the comparatively better leisure of American girls. Thousands of them have been emancipated from any compulsion to productive labour with out having acquired any compensatory mental or creative curiosity or social obligation. The result’s that they swarm within the girls’s golf equipment, and waste their time, listening to dangerous poetry, worse music, and nonetheless worse lectures on Maeterlinck, Balkan politics and the unconscious. It is amongst such girls that one observes the periodic rages for Bergsonism, the Montessori methodology, the twilight sleep and different such follies, so pathetically attribute of American tradition.

    One of the evil results of this tendency I’ve hitherto descanted upon, to wit, the rising disposition of American girls to treat all routine labour, notably within the residence, as infra dignitatem and therefore insupportable. Out of that notion come up many lamentable phenomena. On the one hand, we’ve the spectacle of a large number of wholesome and well-fed girls engaged in public actions that, 9 occasions out of ten, are meaningless, mischievous and a nuisance, and however we behold such a decay within the home arts that, on the first onslaught of the late conflict, the nationwide authorities needed to import a overseas professional to show the housewives of the nation the veriest components of thrift. No such instruction was wanted by the housewives of the Continent. They had been merely informed how a lot meals they may have, and their pure competence did the remainder. There is rarely any avoidable waste there, both in peace or in conflict. A French housewife has little use for a rubbish can, save as a depository for uplifting literature. She does her finest with the means at her disposal, not solely in conflict time however always.

    As I’ve stated over and over on this inquiry, a girl’s disinclination to accumulate the intricate expertness that lies on the backside of fine housekeeping is due primarily to her lively intelligence; it’s troublesome for her to pay attention her thoughts upon such silly and meticulous enterprises. But whether or not troublesome or simple, it’s clearly vital for the common girl to make some effort in that course, for if she fails to take action there may be chaos. That chaos is duly seen within the United States. Here girls reveal certainly one of their subterranean qualities: their deficiency in conscientiousness. They are fairly with out that dog-like constancy to obligation which is without doubt one of the shining marks of males. They by no means summon up a excessive pleasure in doing what’s inherently unpleasant; they at all times go to the galleys below protest, and with vows of sabotage; their basic philosophy is nearly that of the syndicalists. The sentimentality of males connives at this, and is thus largely accountable for it. Before the common puella, apprenticed within the kitchen, can choose up a fourth of the culinary subtleties which can be commonplace even to the cooks on eating vehicles, she has caught a person and want concern herself about them no extra, for he has to eat, within the final evaluation, no matter she units earlier than him, and his lack of intelligence makes it simple for her to close off his tutorial criticisms by bald appeals to his feelings. By a straightforward course of he lastly attaches a optimistic worth to her indolence. It is a proof, he concludes, of her fineness of soul. In the presence of her lofty incompetence he’s abashed.

    But as girls, gaining financial autonomy, meet males in progressively bitterer competitors, the rising masculine mistrust and concern of them might be mirrored even within the enchanted area of marriage, and the husband, having yielded up most of his previous rights, will start to disclose a brand new jealousy of those who stay, and notably of the fitting to a good quid professional quo for his personal docile trade. In transient, as girls shake off their historic disabilities they will even shake off a few of their historic immunities, and their doings will come to be regarded with a soberer and extra exigent scrutiny than now prevails. The extension of the suffrage, I consider, will encourage this awakening; in wresting it from the reluctant male the ladies of the western world have planted dragons’ tooth, the which can presently leap up and gnaw them. Now that girls have the political energy to acquire their simply rights, they are going to start to lose their previous energy to acquire particular privileges by sentimental appeals. Men, going through them squarely, will think about them anew, not as romantic political and social invalids, to be coddled and caressed, however as free opponents in a harsh world. When that reconsideration will get below manner there might be a normal overhauling of the relations between the sexes, and among the truthful ones, I believe, will start to marvel why they did not let effectively sufficient alone.

    45. Effects of the War

    The current sequence of wars, it appears seemingly, will proceed for twenty or thirty years, and maybe longer. That the primary conflict was inconclusive was proven brilliantly by the preposterous nature of the peace lastly reached—a peace so synthetic and dishonest that the signing of it was virtually equal to a brand new declaration of conflict. At least three new contests within the grand method are plainly perception—one between Germany and France to rectify the unnatural tyranny of a weak and incompetent nation over a powerful and enterprising nation, one between Japan and the United States for the mastery of the Pacific, and one between England and the United States for the management of the ocean. To these should be added numerous minor struggles, and maybe one or two of just about main character: the trouble of Russia to regain her previous unity and energy, the trouble of the Turks to place down the slave rise up (of Greeks, Armenians, Arabs, and so on.)which now menaces them, the trouble of the Latin-Americans to throw off the galling Yankee yoke, and the joint effort of Russia and Germany (maybe with England and Italy aiding) to do away with such worldwide nuisances because the insane Polish republic, the petty states of the Baltic, and maybe additionally many of the Balkan states. I cross over the chance of a brand new mutiny in India, of the rising of China towards the Japanese, and of a normal battle for a brand new alignment of boundaries in South America. All of those wars, nice and small, are possible; most of them are humanly sure. They might be fought ferociously, and with assistance from harmful engines of the utmost effectivity. They will result in an unparalleled butchery of males, and a big proportion of those males might be below forty years of age.

    As a consequence there might be a scarcity of husbands in Christendom, and as a second consequence the survivors might be appreciably tougher to snare than the lads of immediately. Every man of agreeable exterior and straightforward means might be pursued, not merely by just a few dozen or rating of ladies, as now, however by entire battalions and brigades of them, and he might be pushed in sheer self-defence into very sharp bargaining. Perhaps in the long run the state must intervene within the enterprise, to forestall the potential husband going to waste within the turmoil of alternative.

    Just what kind this interference is prone to take has not but appeared clearly. In France there may be already a wholesale legitimization of kids born out of wedlock and in Eastern Europe there was a clamour for the legalization of polygamy, however these gadgets don’t meet the principle downside, which is the encouragement of monogamy to the utmost. A plan that means itself is the amelioration of the place of the monogamous husband, now rendered more and more uncomfortable by the legal guidelines of most Christian states. I don’t assume that the extra clever form of girls, confronted by a deadly scarcity of males, would object severely to that amelioration. They should see plainly that the current system, whether it is carried a lot additional, will start to work powerfully towards their finest pursuits, if solely by significantly reinforcing the disinclination to marriage that already exists among the many higher form of males. The girl of true discretion, I’m satisfied, would a lot relatively marry a superior man, even on unfavourable phrases, than make John Smith her husband, serf and prisoner at one stroke.

    The legislation should finally acknowledge this truth and make provision for it. The common husband, maybe, deserves little succour. The girl who pursues and marries him, although she could also be moved by egocentric goals, needs to be correctly rewarded by the state for her service to it—a service certainly to not be flippantly estimated in a navy age. And that reward could conveniently take the shape, as within the United States, of statutes giving her title to a big share of his actual property and requiring him to give up most of his revenue to her, and releasing her from all obedience to him and from all obligation to maintain his home so as. But the girl who aspires to increased sport needs to be fairly prepared, it appears to me, to resign a few of these benefits in compensation for the better honour and satisfaction of being spouse to a person of benefit, and mom to his kids. All that’s wanted is legal guidelines permitting her, if she’s going to, to resign her proper of dower, her proper to upkeep and her immunity from self-discipline, and to make another phrases that she could also be led to treat as equitable. At current girls are unable to make most of those concessions even when they might: the legal guidelines of nearly all of western nations are rigid. If, for instance, an Englishwoman ought to agree, by an ante-nuptial contract, to submit herself to the self-discipline, not of the present statutes, however of the elder frequent legislation, which allowed a husband to right his spouse corporally with a stick no thicker than his thumb, it could be competent for any sentimental neighbour to set the settlement at naught by haling her husband earlier than a Justice of the Peace for carrying it out, and it’s a secure wager that the Justice of the Peace would jail him.

    This plan, nonetheless novel it might appear, is definitely already in operation. Many a married girl, as a way to maintain her husband from revolt, makes roughly disguised surrenders of sure of the rights and immunities that she has below current legal guidelines. There are, for instance, even in America, girls who practise the home arts with competence and diligence, regardless of the plain indisputable fact that no authorized penalty can be visited upon them in the event that they failed to take action. There are girls who comply with exterior trades and professions, contributing a share to the household exchequer. There are girls who obey their husbands, even towards their finest judgments. There are, most quite a few of all, girls who wink discreetly at husbandly departures, overt or in mere intent, from the oath of chemical purity taken on the altar. It is a commonplace, certainly, that many completely happy marriages admit a celebration of the third half. There can be extra of them if there have been extra girls with sufficient serenity of thoughts to see the sensible benefit of the association. The hassle with such triangulations isn’t primarily that they contain perjury or that they provide any basic offence to the spouse; if she avoids banal theatricals, in truth, they generally have the impact of augmenting the husband’s devotion to her and respect for her, if solely because the fruit of comparability. The hassle with them is that only a few males amongst us have sense sufficient to handle them intelligently. The masculine thoughts is instantly taken in by specious values; the common married man of Protestant Christendom, if he succumbs in any respect, succumbs to some meretricious and flamboyant creature, bent solely upon fleecing him. Here is the place the cruel realism of the Frenchman reveals its superiority to the sentimentality of the lads of the Teutonic races. A Frenchman would no extra consider taking a mistress with out consulting his spouse than he would consider standing for workplace with out consulting his spouse. The result’s that he’s seldom victimized. For one Frenchman ruined by girls there are a minimum of 100 Englishmen and Americans, even supposing 100 occasions as many Frenchmen have interaction in that form of recreation. The case of Zola is typical. As is well-known, his amours had been rigorously supervised by Mme. Zola from the primary days of their marriage, and in consequence his life was wholly free from scandals and his thoughts was by no means distracted from his work.

    46. The Eternal Romance

    But no matter the way forward for monogamous marriage, there’ll by no means be any decay of that agreeable adventurousness which now lies on the backside of all transactions between the sexes. Women could emancipate themselves, they could borrow the entire bag of masculine methods, they usually could treatment themselves of their current need for the vegetable safety of marriage, however they are going to by no means stop to be girls, and as long as they’re girls they are going to stay provocative to males. Their chief allure immediately lies exactly in the truth that they’re harmful, that they threaten masculine liberty and autonomy, that their sharp minds current a menace vastly better than that of acts of God and the general public enemy—and they are going to be harmful for ever. Men concern them, and are fascinated by them. They know the way to present their tooth charmingly; the extra enlightened of them have perfected an outstanding strategy of fascination. It was Nietzsche who known as them the recreation of the warrior—not of the poltroon, keep in mind, however of the warrior. A profound saying. They have an infinite capability for rewarding masculine trade and enterprise with small and irresistible flatteries; their acute understanding combines with their capability for evoking concepts of magnificence to make them incomparable companions when the intense enterprise of the day is finished, and the time has come to increase comfortably within the interstellar ether.

    Every man, I daresay, has his personal notion of what constitutes good peace and contentment, however all of these notions, regardless of the elemental battle of the sexes, revolve round girls. As for me—and I hope I could also be pardoned, at this late stage in my inquiry, for intruding my very own persona—I reject the 2 commonest of them: ardour, a minimum of in its extra adventurous and melodramatic features, is just too thrilling and alarming for therefore indolent a person, and I’m too egoistic to have a lot need to be mothered. What, then, stays for me? Let me attempt to describe it to you.

    It is the shut of a busy and vexatious day—say half previous 5 – 6 o’clock of a winter afternoon. I’ve had a cocktail or two, and am stretched out on a divan in entrance of a fireplace, smoking. At the sting of the divan, shut sufficient for me to succeed in her with my hand, sits a girl not too younger, however nonetheless handsome and well-dressed—above all, a girl with a delicate, low-pitched, agreeable voice. As I snooze she talks—of something, all the pieces, all of the issues that girls speak of: books, music, the play, males, different girls. No politics. No enterprise. No faith. No metaphysics. Nothing difficult and vexatious—however keep in mind, she is clever; what she says is clearly expressed, and sometimes picturesquely. I observe the positive sheen of her hair, the gorgeous lower of her frock, the glint of her white tooth, the arch of her eye-brow, the sleek curve of her arm. I take heed to the beautiful murmur of her voice. Gradually I go to sleep—however just for an immediate. At as soon as, observing it, she raises her voice ever so little, and I’m awake. Then to sleep once more—slowly and charmingly down that slippery hill of desires. And then awake once more, after which asleep once more, and so forth.

    I ask you severely: may something be extra unutterably stunning? The sensation of falling asleep is to me probably the most beautiful on the planet. I enjoyment of it a lot that I even stay up for demise itself with a sneaking marvel and need. Well, right here is sleep poetized and made doubly candy. Here is sleep set to the best music on the planet. I match this example towards any that you just ran consider. It isn’t solely enchanting; additionally it is, in a really true sense, ennobling. In the top, when the woman grows prettily miffed and throws me out, I return to my sorrows one way or the other purged and glorified. I’m a greater man in my very own sight. I’ve grazed upon the fields of asphodel. I’ve been genuinely, utterly and unregrettably completely happy.

    47. Apologia in Conclusion

    At the top I crave the indulgence of the aesthetic reader for the imperfections essentially seen in all that I’ve right here set down—imperfections not solely resulting from incomplete data and fallible logic, but in addition, and maybe extra importantly, to sure basic weaknesses of the intercourse to which I’ve the honour to belong. A person is inseparable from his congenital vanities and stupidities, as a canine is inseparable from its fleas. They reveal themselves in all the pieces he says and does, however they reveal themselves most of all when he discusses the majestic thriller of girl. Just as he smirks and rolls his eyes in her precise presence, so he places on apathetic and unescapable clownishness when he essays to dissect her within the privateness of the laboratory. There is not any e book on girl by a person that’s not a stupendous compendium of posturings and imbecilities. There are however two books that present even a superficial need to be trustworthy—”The Unexpurgated Case Against Woman Suffrage,” by Sir Almroth Wright, and this one. Wright made a gallant try to inform the reality, however earlier than he obtained half manner by his job his ineradicable donkeyishness as a male overcame his scientific frenzy as a psychologist, and so he swiftly washed his fingers of the enterprise, and affronted the even handed with a half baked and preposterous e book. Perhaps I’ve failed too, and much more ingloriously. If so, I’m stuffed with honest and indescribable remorse.

    Extract from IN DEFENSE OF WOMEN by H. L. Mencken

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