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  • Finding Emotional Intelligence in Negative Emotions – Positive Purpose in Sadness Anger and Fear

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    Emotional Intelligence is severely undervalued. When you feel stuck, frustrated, stressed, upset, or overwhelmed, skillful emotional awareness is the key to moving forward. Underneath your upset is a specific emotion that can guide you. The key, then, is to understand the messages in your feelings and become skillful in using their energy appropriately.

    Even so-called “negative emotions,” such as sadness, anger, and fear, convey important information and energy to carry out specific actions that can help you and others. Emotions arise with a purpose and when this purpose is fulfilled the feeling subsides. Unfortunately, as a society, we have not learned to understand and sufficiently value emotional energy and information, so we tend to deal with these feelings crudely.

    For example, with an emotion like anger, you might express it explosively or shove it under the surface, because you do not want to act angrily. Either you express your feelings reactively or cease feeling altogether.

    Emotional Intelligence expert, Karla McLaren, describes a healthy third alternative. She says you can facilitate the healthy flow of emotions by consciously “channeling” the information and energy that emotions provide. In other words, emotions contain meaningful messages along with energy to do something related to those messages. This is true for so-called “negative” emotions as well as “positive” ones.

    For example, McLaren suggests that:

    • ANGER arises when you, or someone or something you love, is threatened and you need to take protective action or set a firm boundary.

    • SADNESS arises when you need to let go of what no longer serves you or what is past, so you can move forward.

    • FEAR arises to prompt you to take preventative action.

    • JOY prompts you toward expansive, expressive, creative action.

    • COMPASSION prompts you to care for others.

    So, every emotion has a MESSAGE and ENERGY to carry out a specific type of action. Tuning into your emotions helps you to receive these messages and take these actions.

    Let’s explore the first three of these emotions in more depth. Sadness, anger, and fear are often misunderstood and handled poorly. We tend to repress them, stay stuck in them, or express them unskillfully, with negative consequences.

    So, as you work with these emotions, it’s important to do so Mindfully. Approach them as a curious observer with an attitude of paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment. Know that emotions are simply information about yourself, others, and events, along with energy to do something about this information. They do not define who you are and they will pass as you gather their information and take appropriate action.

    (Note: If you feel overwhelmed or paralyzed by feelings to the point where you are unable to consciously process them yourself, seek the assistance of a counseling professional who is trained to work with intense emotions.)

    The Positive Purpose of Sadness

    The purpose of sadness is to enable you to let go of what is no longer working or what is past and finished. Sadness is a watery downward-flowing energy that enables you to release what no longer serves you, so you can return to fluidity and flexibility in your life.

    By allowing appropriate sadness to flow through you, you’ll make space for new energy and new possibilities. If you do not consciously acknowledge sadness or don’t know how to flow with it, you’ll bury it inside, where it will perpetually cycle, or you’ll get lost in the feeling and be overwhelmed.

    Here’s a practice adapted from Karla McLaren’s book, “The Language of Emotions,” that can help you consciously process feelings of sadness.

    1. When you feel sadness flood into you, take some quiet, private time to center into the feeling. Tune into the sensation of sadness, locate where it resides in your body, and approach it with curiosity to learn what it has to tell you.

    2. Take a deep in-breath as if you are filling your whole body with your breath. As you exhale, make a sighing sound, and feel the energy of your sadness flowing like water down through your body, through your legs and feet, and down into the ground.

    3. Stay centered in your inner space and ask your sadness the question: “What needs to be released or let go right now?” Don’t rush to fill in an answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside.

    Repeat your sighing breath down through your body as many times as you feel the need and keep your question open for your deeper knowing to respond. You may find you know right away what you need to release or you may find it becomes clear later. Either way, tuning into sadness (or any emotion) mindfully initiates a process of discovery and integration that will help you move forward.

    The Positive Purpose of Anger

    Anger arises to create and preserve personal boundaries and safeguard personal space. You feel angry when a personal boundary or the boundary of someone or something you care for is disrupted or violated. When you are able to identify the source of the perceived threat and use the energy available in anger to strengthen your personal space and take appropriate action, anger will recede. It will have accomplished its purpose.

    Here’s a practice adapted from McLaren to gather the information and use the energy in your anger:

    1. When you feel anger rising, focus inside your body and become more in-touch with the felt sensation. Approach the feeling with curiosity to learn more about it.

    2. Take a deep in-breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel as if the energy in your anger travels outward into a sphere about an arms-width around you, your personal boundary, strengthening it with a brilliant color. Do this until you feel a shift in your energy, so you are witnessing, feeling, and working with the energy in your anger without being consumed by it.

    3. Ask your anger this question: “What needs to be protected or restored?”

    4. Then ask, “What action will restore healthy boundaries and protect what is important?”

    These questions help you identify what feels threatened, so you can take appropriate action. Try this when anger arises and see how it works for you.

    The Positive Purpose of Fear

    We’ve been told “Fear is what holds us back” and “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” If we can just overcome our fears, we’ll be able to live full-out and realize our hopes and dreams. But, what if this perennial wisdom regarding fear is missing something? What if fear in its essential form is one of our wise guides?

    Emotions have three primary forms: unconscious reactive expression, a repressed cycling state, and a healthy free-flowing state. It may be that we are only familiar with the first two forms of fear: a reactive expression that makes us cower and a repressed state which creates constant low-level anxiety.

    Fear in its healthy free-flowing form is something altogether different. What if fear can signal intuitive awareness of something that needs attention? What if it can alert you to important action?

    This form of fear is a sixth sense that reaches out through your personal space to pick up signals about what is happening inside you, with others, and in your environment. Fear can alert you to what is happening in your own body. It can alert you to the actions and intentions of the people around you and to conditions in the environment. When you learn to discern this information, it can help you can choose wise actions.

    To learn to use fear as a wise guide, try this simple practice:

    1. When you feel fear arising, take a quiet, private moment to center into the feeling. Tune into the sensation of fear, locate where it resides in your body, and approach it with curiosity to learn what it has to tell you.

    2. Take a deep in-breath as if you are filling your whole body with your breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel that your breath fills the sphere of your personal space about an arm’s width around your entire body. Sense into your personal space and into the wider space around you and search for subtle signals. For example, you might be drawn to an area inside your body or to look at something or someone in your environment. You might feel the urge to move toward or away from something.

    3. Stay centered in your personal space and ask your fear the question: “What action needs to be taken right now?” Don’t rush to fill in an answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside. See what presents itself. You may have an inspiration to take a specific action.

    It can take time to learn to discern guiding signals. As best as you can, be patient. The simple action of tuning into emotional signals is a cultivated skill. You’ll grow your ability to sense inner guidance from fear and all your emotions through mindful practice over time.

    You’ll also learn to discern the quality of signals that represent accurate present guidance from false interpretations based on painful past experiences. There’s a different felt quality to accurate versus false guidance. False guidance may feel alarming, stressful, or rushed. It is fixated on what happened in the past or overly-anxious about the future. Accurate emotional guidance has a matter-of-fact, present, forward-moving quality, that feels like perfect timing.

    So, in summary, as emotions come up, instead of being wary of them, what if you welcome them, become curious, and ask:

    • What is the sensation of this emotion in my body?

    • Exactly what emotion is this?

    • What is the message in this feeling?

    • What is it asking me to do?

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    Source by Kevin Schoeninger

    Views: 0

  • Energy Healing And Body Talk

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    These days there are so many healing techniques available to us, like

    Quantum Touch

    Massotherapy

    Touch for Health

    Zero Balancing

    Healing Touch

    Chiropractic

    Chakra Balancing

    Ki Gong

    the list goes on and on. It’s exciting to know that more and more people around the world are accepting the healing value of alternative and complementary modalities.

    When we take a class in any one of these invaluable techniques, the focus of course is on learning the technique…

    –how to protect ourselves from picking up clients’ “stuff”

    –how to channel or run energy through our bodies out to our hands

    –how to approach and treat certain kinds of issues

    –the body mechanics we use, etc.

    What I see missing from the classes is how to assess the body healing type of the individual we are working with. What do I mean by that?

    Over the years, doing energy healing from the 1980s to the present time, I started to realize that with each person, I was addressing the energy flow to their bodies in a different way. Yes, there is the technique to follow, but after a while the practice becomes almost second nature. I found that as I was “listening” to the bodies, I was “talking” to them differently. And I haven’t found that kind of body talk mentioned anywhere in the energy healing field.

    Of course, I think that each energy healing therapist has a particular way that their inner dialog with the client feels most comfortable or most natural. But what I found was that, when I shifted my own inner preference for how I channeled or ran energy to match my client’s healing type, their recovery occurred in shorter lengths of treatment time.

    So here’s what was shown to me in the course of my years in energy healing: There are three basic types of healing preference that each body has: physical, mental, and spiritual. That seems to line up nicely with the complementary approach to body-mind-spirit healing, which is about the triune nature of being human. But what I’m referring to is the dominant energy healing preference each body is wired for. Each person’s body responds most effectively to the type of energy transfer that matches his or her own energy healing type.

    So sometimes I found I would be silently talking to the body and explaining what it was going through and encouraging it to heal itself. “Yes, you had a bad fall. You know your knee is injured, and you know how to fix it. You know how to do this.” This silent body talk flowed into their bodies along with the energy. This was obviously for a mental body healing type.

    Other times I found myself praying. Sometimes it was a standard prayer, sometimes it was a free-flowing appeal to the person’s guides or angels or Christ Spirit or Mary or an archangel or the Universal Healing Forces. Whatever came to mind to say, this prayer-type energy flowed into the spiritual body healing type.

    And of course, there’s the physical body type. This was a bit of a challenge for me, since most of the energy healing I do is in the bio-field around the body and there’s little or no physical contact. But the physical body healing type needs to feel it for it to respond more readily with its own inner healing mechanisms.

    So I’d touch the area in need, sometimes deeply, while my inner body talk with that person was more along the lines of a cheerleader, “Here it is. Go. Fix this. You can do it.” Or sometimes there wasn’t that much dialog, just a lot of purposeful contact while I ran energy.

    By the 1990s, I figured it would be easier for me to know ahead of time which client was which body healing type before the session started so that I could start the body talk right away. Since I’d been learning how to do dowsing, I asked my pendulum what the type was. You can probably also use finger-muscle testing, if you’re familiar with that. It’s a simple yes-no process of elimination as you ask which healing type your client is.

    There were some surprises that I learned along the way, too. People who I thought for sure would be one type turned out to be another, even though their personalities clearly indicated something else. Like my Dad. Here was a guy who was totally immersed in 3-D. If he couldn’t see it, it didn’t exist. A very physical guy. When he got older and started having health problems (and let me work on them, which wasn’t all the time), I dowsed and – lo and behold – his healing body type was a spiritual!!!

    Then there’s my Mom, who I thought for sure would be a spiritual type, but the dowsing told me she was a physical! She believed in the old-country ways of laying on of hands, had a strong church connection, which Dad didn’t have, and was even known to have healing hands when she was younger (which was great for us as kids). But her body responded more effectively to the physical body touch-approach.

    It reminded me of something I came across in the Edgar Cayce holistic health readings. He talked about the “body mind” as though it was something different or separate from the conscious mind. And now I understood that. The body does have a mind of its own. And when we address that clearly, it responds more readily to whatever healing energy we deliver.

    Another surprise was that some people turn out to have dual types. This is more rare, but when you find it, it gives you more variety in how you frame your inner dialog with the body.

    Finally, one night in the late 1990s as I was meditating, it was revealed to me that what my guidance had shown me described the way our Master Teacher, Jesus the Christ, healed people. For many of us, Christ’s healings in the New Testament were our first exposure to energy healing, even though we probably thought of it as magical or superhuman, not something we could all do (even though He said we could). Maybe even some of the priests and pastors of our formal churches did the “laying on of hands.” But think about this:

    When Jesus healed the blind man, he put mud on the man’s eyes and rubbed it in. Then the man could see. This was an example of the physical body healing type. The man needed to feel something happening to his eyes.

    When He told the cripple that his sins were forgiven, or to rise up and walk, He was addressing a mental body healing type. The man simply got up and walked away. There was no contact at all with him.

    Finally, when a woman touched the hem of His garment and He asked her why she did that, she replied that that’s what she knew she needed to do to be healed. Definitely spiritual or faith healing.

    There also is one other example of a type of healing Jesus did and that was when the Roman soldier asked Him to heal his good servant who was not present at the time. This was a beautiful and dramatic example of both distance healing for the servant and faith healing on the part of the soldier.

    During the course of working with many clients over the years, my own guidance has revealed techniques and understandings that were invaluable in helping my people regain function and health sooner and more easily. You can use this information for yourself as well during those times you need to amplify more healing resource into your own body. I hope you find this information applicable in your own interactions with people in need.

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    Source by Cheryl Salerno

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  • 5 Tips for Dating Slavic Women

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    Depending on how young is the lady you fancy and where she had grown up (in a western country or somewhere in Russia, Belarus, or Ukraine), she will behave more or less like the typical Slavic woman. Girls who grew up in western countries may behave similar to western females. But if she finished school in countries of the post-USSR, then she definitely will have some specific expectations that you need to take in consideration in your approach.

    1. Dress up.

    A well dressed man is a pleasant sight for most females. But Slavic women dating rule book has a special place for an elegant man, as Russian, Ukrainian ladies love to dress up themselves. If you look sloppy, she will not feel comfortable and may decide you are not a suitable match. Wearing a jacket, nice pants, and a collared shirt with laced-up shoes will make you look more attractive for women of Slavic origin.

    2. Bring flowers.

    Most westerners think it’s too much to give a woman flowers on the first date. But if a woman is from the former USSR, she expects it as a necessary gesture of adherence to the polite courtship ritual (as opposed to a guy simply trying to pick her up). FSU dating culture still insists on a man bringing a bouquet for a lady on the first date, or she will think you do not respect her. How do you find out if the Slavic girl you have a date with expects flowers from a man? Ask her if she likes flowers. If she says, “Of course!”, then ask her what kind of flowers she likes. If she can give you an instant answer, she is definitely into the “flower dating culture” and you are safe to bring a bunch of pretty blossoms. (Sure, if she says she doesn’t like flowers, no need to do it.)

    3. Court her.

    Courting means looking after your girl on a date as if she was a dainty lady: Open doors, move chairs, offer your hand when she exits a car, hold her coat for her to slip in. Things that gentlemen used to do for their ladies in 1950s. (Ask your grandmother if you struggle to understand what it’s all about.) These little gestures are still in vogue among Slavic girls and she will be really impressed, as most westerners don’t do it. That’s a sure way to separate yourself from all the other guys trying to woo her.

    4. Make decisions.

    Every Slavic girl wants to meet a “real man”. What does she mean by that? Someone who is decisive and confident. This means, book a restaurant (you can even find a good Russian restaurant, she will approve), decide what you do before and after, ask what she is going to eat prior the waiter coming and order for her, and so on. She wants to feel that she can simply relax and rely on you. That’s what Slavic women seek in a partner.

    5. Pick the bill.

    If you offer to split expenses, this will be the last time you see your Slavic girl. In Russia and Ukraine, men still pay for dates -moreover, a Russian guy would feel insulted if a woman offered to go halves, as if she thought he wasn’t a “real man”.

    If you follow these 5 easy tips, your dates with Slavic ladies will definitely go smoother.

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    Source by Elena Petrova

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  • The Front Door Money Modality

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    This is a very easy modality to implement. It’s a one time modality if you want it to be- you do it and forget about it. You can do it again every Spring, every equinox, or, every full moon, if you want to. Or you can do it once, and forget about it. It’s really about the intention you infuse into this modality while you do it.

    The art and practice of Feng Shui is something that seems confusing and elusive at first. There are many ways to approach the subject and there are many Practitioners who interpret Feng Shui and implement it in their own unique way. Basically, Feng Shui concerns itself with how Energy is directed, deflected, and capitalized on based on certain Baguas, or, areas of your home. The theory is, that by changing how Energy is channeled and flows throughout your home, you also begin to change your very own Energy.

    What flows into your home via your Front Door? What energy are you allowing into your place of residence? This particular modality will assist you in channeling the Energy of abundance and wealth into your home. Although many Feng Shui practitioners have advocated this modality, I suggest some preparation work before doing it.

    In essence, you place nine coins under your front door’s welcome mat. The coins can be a mix of loose change, silver dollars, or, antique coins. They will form a V pattern, with four on one side and four on the other, the ninth coin will be placed at the apex of this pyramid. The top of the pyramid faces your door, the widest part of the pyramid faces outward. This type of shape is conducive to channeling and redirecting the Energy of Abundance and Wealth to the person(s) receiving it, inside your Home.

    That’s it. If you’d like, you can do some preparatory work.

    a) Let the coins sit in a cup or bowl of sea salt or kosher salt overnight. This will release all the Energies built up on the coins from previous owners.

    b) Before placing the coins under your doormat, Bless them. Set an Intention that the Energy of Abundance and Wealth and Financial Freedom flow into you through those coins.

    That’s it! A simple modality to allow the Energy of Abundance and Wealth into your Home.

    Big Hugs,

    J.Henry

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    Source by J. Henry

    Views: 0

  • My Wife Is So Sensitive! How to Manage This in a Compassionate Way

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    Feeling as though you’re walking on eggshells in your own home is never a good thing. Although women don’t have the market cornered when it comes to sensitivity, it can be a huge issue for many wives. Living with a woman who is super sensitive leaves a man on edge and can affect the emotional connection he feels with his spouse. Trying to deal with this in an effective and compassionate manner takes some insight, some carefully chosen words and a lot of patience.

    It’s very rare for a woman who is sensitive to only be that way with her husband. Sensitive people tend to carry that trait into every relationship they have including work based ones as well as other family connections. If your wife is just as sensitive with her siblings, her parents or the people she works with, you can take at least some small degree of comfort in that. It doesn’t, however, help you to deal with it in a way that will help your wife manage her sensitivity issues while at the same time ensuring your marriage continues to grow.

    Since you are her life partner you must become the safest person in your wife’s life. You want her to feel as though you’re the one person who truly understands her and isn’t focused on hurting her. To that end you must treat her as the fragile person she is. Simply telling a sensitive person to grow a backbone or to grow up only makes matters worse. People who are sensitive by nature, absorb negative things very deeply so they continually need positive reinforcement.

    Tell your wife on a daily basis how special you believe she is. Give her examples of what you mean. If she’s a considerate and doting mother, tell her you recognize that. If she’s committed to her career and is a perfectionist in that regard, let her know that you deeply admire her drive. If she senses that you are her biggest supporter, she’s going to see you as the shining light of her life.

    It’s incredibly challenging to have any type of productive disagreement with someone who is very sensitive. Even one harsh comment or negative remark can set them into an emotional tailspin. Once that happens nothing is accomplished and the initial conflict becomes more far reaching because feelings are deeply hurt.

    It’s important not to approach your wife if you’re incredibly angry or frustrated. It can be hard to temper what you feel in a moment like that and you may inadvertently say something that will pain her deeply, causing her to retreat into herself. Whatever the conflict is, it will still be there in an hour or two when you’ve had time to cool down a bit and logically think about the best way to initiate a conversation with your wife about it. If you come to a discussion like this with a calm and rational tone, your wife won’t feel too defensive which will help you to solve whatever the problem is.

    You can’t control what anyone else says or does to your wife. Sensitivity is often accompanied with low self esteem issues. It might be commonplace in your marriage for your wife to feel hurt or rejected by others if they criticize her in anyway. Once this happens explain to her that she can’t please everyone but the people who love her most think she’s remarkable. Hearing those words from you, when she’s feeling down, will help her tremendously.

    Love your wife the best way you can and be her supporter at every turn. By being sensitive in your own way to her sensitivity issues you’ll build a stronger and more mutually satisfying marriage. Your wife needs you to understand her so show her that you’re going to do that and more by always being mindful of her feelings.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • Tony Robbins – Personal Power II – Day 17 – Wealth Conditioning

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    “Money is nothing but a means to measure the exchange of value between people.”

    ~ Tony Robbins

    Many of us have pain associated with wealth in an approach/avoidance dance. Because of events in our past, we can call these “wealth wounds”. There can be lots of sensitivity about financial issues and so if these wounds are not healed, it is impossible to gain a ton of financial resources.

    Generally speaking, poverty and lack brings out the worst in people and abundance brings out the best. People who are living in poverty tend to have the highest criminal records, the most drug use and the most unhappiness. Being one of the consistently broke group of people doesn’t help you or the group. You can do more good by becoming wealthy in order to be able to give back.

    There are seven reasons why most people never make it financially.

    1). They associate negative things to having or making money. Remember, the past does not equal the future.

    2). They do not set having an abundance of money as an absolute must. Unless we decide what is a necessity, not an option, how can there be any improvement?

    3). Having an effective strategy of building wealth is non-existent for them. To condition yourself for great wealth, strategies must be developed for

    • attracting money into your life
    • managing your dollars
    • sharing your money, which will give you much happiness

    4). They are unable to follow through consistently on their financial goals. Finding ways for your money to work for you, such as harnessing compound interest which can take a lot of pressure off if you have time to watch it grow.

    5). They depend too much on the “experts.” There is no one who cares more about your money than you do. Experts are valuable, but you need to take care of your money and taxes. If you make errors in these types of decisions and planning, you will be ultimately responsible, not your professional.

    6). They become financially complacent. Many people take their wealth for granted. Whatever you fail to use, you will lose. It is a good idea to note that if you do well with what you have, you’ll be able to get more and, if you don’t actively create welth, itwhat you have will be taken from us. Don’t hoard what you have.

    7). They allow financial challenges go from bad to worse into financial ruin. Most likely, the road to wealth is not a straight line. If and when problems arise, stay in the game and ask great questions to help get back on track.

    Be willing to transform crisis into opportunity. By having financial faith, you can learn from the situation and find even more opportunities.

    The assignment:

    Give yourself a financial checkup to find out your “wealth wounds” so you can heal yourself quickly:

    1). Ask yourself to list the beliefs that you have that hold you back.

    2). Is there a specific amount of money that is an absolute MUST? Is this number the “must” for your life, or is this number the ability to live comfortably by paying your current bills?

    3). “Never leave the site of setting a goal or making a decision without taking some action towards its fulfillment. Make sure you do some action to set you on the course for financial mastery.

    4). Find something in today’s session to start feeling like you’re making progress. Remember, tiny actions lead to a pattern of habits which ultimately can be used to create the financial freedom we all deserve.

    5). You can make a list of financial terms or aspects of financial management that are not fully understood. Find the people or resources who cn provide answers about these things.

    6). Remember we talked about complacency? Write a paragraph about the “why” you will follow through with your plan and avoid complacency. Recognize the excuses you used in the past. Mastery is the only option now.

    7). Ultimately, what frees us from fear, is the belief that we are much more than anything that could ever happen to us financially. Write down one or two situations that seemed very difficult that you pulled yourself through. Remind yourself that you have this capacity to turn challenges into success.

    Sometimes our “wealth wounds” are most tender to try and heal, but the good news is that there are ways to heal them. One way is to find someone who has successfully gotten where you’d like to be. You can “model” after their example if you find out exactly what they did and then follow that pattern.

    Taking the time to do these exercises will teach you more about yourself. Fine tuning the skills in this lesson will provide additional ways to condition yourself for success.

    Onward.

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    Source by Deb Bauer

    Views: 0

  • To Prevent A Divorce And Save Your Relationship Merely Takes A Willingness To Do So

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    If your relationship is going through a rough patch and it is one of numerous rough spots you may be worried that you are heading for divorce.

    Often divorce can’t be avoided, it will depend on the couple and the circumstance, but there are many times that you can pursue healing your relationship prior to it reaches the point for divorce.

    One error many people make is that they start making promises.

    Even if you believe you are genuine and that you can make some attitude and behavior changes, but do not commit, declarations like these will not save your relationship.

    You do need to go over the issues with your partner though since you can’t simply alter who you are to make them more than satisfied, and you need to be pleased and more than satisfied, too.

    Often there are issues that both of you require to work with to improve the relationship.

    The Idea is to Repair the Relationship Issues

    Telling your partner that you love or admire him/her continuously is not a great idea either, because even if it is true and you do like him, stating it constantly won’t repair any issues.

    Telling him that you like him can be seen as a bit of emotional blackmail – when all else fails to say ‘I love you’ – it doesn’t rather work like that.

    Rather, it’s the holiness within each of you that must be and connect seen as whole that is the miracle remedy for a failing marital relationship.

    The Course in Miracles states, “The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops and becomes accomplished, it represents the reversal of the unholy relationship.”

    When a relationship is in difficulty it can be difficult and you may find yourself a psychological wreck and seem to think that to prevent divorce is impossible.

    Due to the fact that it will just drain him more emotionally, this is another factor why you shouldn’t keep telling him that you love him.

    Telling him that he is sexy or that you love him is something you must save for when you have your relationship back on track.

    Another big mistake when a relationship is in difficulty is to constantly argue, and all it does is add more stress to the relationship, and no one wins these arguments.

    No one Wins Over Arguments

    In a previous discussion I went deeper into the best marriage advice online and does couples therapy really work?

    – Do not start any arguments with your partner and if he begins one then leave.

    – If he would like to go over matters, when he has actually soothed down then ask him.

    – Do not approach the marital relationship like a competitor.

    You are not wanting to prove who is best at relationships and who is to blame for it stopping working, but do approach it like a partnership that you both need to help each other with.

    Sit down with your husband/wife and calmly talk about any problems you have, if your marriage is heading for divorce perhaps discuss how to avoid divorce.

    Don’t argue with him however ask him exactly what he is feeling and how he thinks you can prevent and enhance the marital relationship divorce.

    To save your relationship take his answers into factor to consider along with your own sensations and attempt to work some compromise that will make you both feel better.

    If you handle the problem in a calm and fully grown method, you can between the two of you, and perhaps with marriage counseling, find how to avoid a divorce.

    Even if you believe you are sincere, but he/she is not, and that you can make positive changes, statements of demanding or pleading will only hurt chances for how to fix a failing relationship.

    – Can you stop a divorce after filing?

    It Takes a Readiness to do the Work

    You may, but typically there are issues that both parties need to work with to rather than dealing with a breakup to enhance the relationship.

    Telling him that you enjoy him or that you will do anything for him/her, is something you need to save for when communication and holiness within is found and connected, and you have your relationship back on track.

    When a relationship is in trouble and continuously arguing is happening, the biggest error that needs forgiveness is.

    Do not approach the marital relationship like a competitor to find who is best at relationships and who is to blame, because the ego is in charge then, and you’ll see you both ending the relationship.

    It may be time for leaving the relationship where healing after a breakup is your next phase if you simply can not reconnect and heal within your hearts.

    (I also suggest searching the web for further content that dives into the idea of getting back with your ex, if that may be in the cards, and sure ways to rekindle a relationship.)

    To success in life and love!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

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  • Alternative Medicine Treatment of Plantar Fasciitis

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    Plantar fasciitis (PF) affects approximately two-million people in the US, of both athletic and non-athletic populations. This condition can be debilitating and significantly affect one’s quality of life in a very negative way. There are few high quality studies on this condition and the most successful treatments. Treatments range from chiropractic care, physical therapy, injections and surgeries. Fortunately this condition can typically be resolved with conservative treatment and lifestyle modifications that can prevent going under the knife. Simply put, plantar fasciitis is a strain with subsequent inflammation of the thick tissue (plantar fascia) and muscles on the bottom of the foot causing heel pain. Plantar fasciitis (PF) is characterized by biting heel/mid arch pain when first bearing weight in the morning, or after long periods of rest. The pain typically subsides within 5 minutes of walking or running, then worsens with long term activity or weight bearing. It is also associated with tired, achy feet at the end of the day and foot cramps. PF is seen in both active and inactive people, and is rarely the result of an acute injury. PF can be the result of several different factors: repetitive overuse injuries, poor fitting footwear, overtraining, structural abnormalities of the foot and improper gait mechanics. PF often becomes a chronic and/or recurring problem if not given the appropriate treatment and follow up care.

    Some contributing factors to the development of plantar fasciitis:

    Structural abnormalities: Plantar fasciitis is very commonly seen with pes planus (pictured left), or flat footed individuals. As you can see, this individual’s medial arch is almost flush with the ground. This can create strain on the plantar fascia. Severe injuries resulting in the need for surgical fusion of the foot can also create strain on the plantar fascia. In these cases of severe structural abnormalities, orthotics are typically indicated. Rehabilitation including foot strengthening exercises, chiropractic manipulation and soft tissue techniques can relieve pain and help to alleviate strain on the tissues and resolve flair ups. We use custom orthotics from Foot Levelers in our office. Using a 3-D scanner, we can have custom orthotics made to support the full structure of your foot.

    Poorly fitting footwear: Wearing improper footwear over time can lead to PF. If a shoe doesn’t fit your foot properly, your gait is altered during any weight bearing activity. This has an effect on the entire kinetic chain and can ultimately cause strain on the plantar fascia. The strength and flexibility of your foot will determine your best type of footwear.

    Overtraining: Can be a huge contributor to PF. What many athletes, weekend warriors and the like tend to overlook is the importance of recovery in their training regimens. If your tissues don’t have optimal nutrition, rest and repair time they start DEgenerate rather than REgenerate. Especially when it comes to long distance running, or quick sprints, the feet have a lot of demand.

    Nerve Impingement: Plantar fasciitis can be a symptom of sciatic nerve impingement. The sciatic nerve is the thickest nerve in your body. It originates from your lumbosacral plexus of nerves typically L4-S1/S2 with some individual anatomical variation. Although this nerve is commonly blamed for all radiating leg pain, it is only responsible for pain along its trajectory down the posterior aspect of the leg and foot. In some impingement cases, the pain can skip the back of the leg altogether and go straight to the foot. Impingement along any portion of the nerve can result in pain, but it doesn’t have to be in the leg. If there is enough impingement along this nerve, any added pressure, say forced dorsiflexion of the foot when standing or walking, can be just the right tension to create exquisite foot pain. Our bodies are always trying to protect our nervous system; reflexively the muscles surrounding the nerve will tighten in an attempt to avoid any further stretch or tension of the nerve. Ultimately, this leads to inflammation of the plantar fascia and the surrounding muscles.

    Other Factors:

    Systemic Inflammation: Though general systemic inflammation is typically not the cause of plantar fasciitis, it will increase your symptoms. For this reason we strongly encourage our patients to eat an anti-inflammatory diet specific to their needs. We also understand no one is perfect or eats perfect all the time, which is why we encourage an 80/20 approach; eat clean 80% of the time and use the other 20% to indulge. Curcuminoids, like those found in turmeric are great to help blot down inflammation in acute cases of plantar fasciitis.

    Alternatives to conservative care:

    Cortisone or steroid injections are very commonly given for Plantar fasciitis. In some really tough cases this can absolutely be necessary to “put out the fire” that is the inflammatory cascade, to get you out of pain initially. We never recommend looking at this option as a cure. Cortisone is a very powerful anti-inflammatory that alleviates pain without correcting the underlying issue, potentiating further injury and recurrent episodes. Another option is surgical intervention. In some cases, surgery is the best option for a particular case. We prefer to exhaust conservative treatment options before travelling down this avenue. A study on an overweight and obese population (43 total) suffering with plantar fasciitis for an average of 34.8 months, were given decompressive surgery to the nerve to the abductor digiti minimi with partial plantar fascia release and tracked over a 4-year period. It was found that 75.6% of patients were in deed pain-free or had only mild pain post-surgery (pain decreased from an 8.5/10 to a 2.5/10). However patient satisfaction post-surgery was only 48%.

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    Source by Ann Barter

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  • What Marketing Strategy Is the Best for You?

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    If you pick the right marketing strategy, you’ll be like that little guy in the middle of my diagram above. Yes! Winning! Fist pumps!

    The problem with marketing today is that there are way too many options and it’s much too confusing. It makes me dizzy just thinking about this stuff and I’ve been immersed in it for 35 years.

    Well, I lay down on my bed last week with a notepad and started to map out my “Unified Theory of Marketing Strategies” with an emphasis on online marketing.

    And I actually came up with something that’s not totally confusing, and might even be helpful to a few people.

    Here goes…

    It’s yet another four-quadrant grid where the vertical axis is a scale from easy to hard and the horizontal axis is a scale from passive to proactive.

    I emerged with these four snappy quadrants:

    Hard and Passive = Multimedia

    Easy and Passive = Publishing

    Hard and Proactive = Presentations

    Easy and Proactive = Email

    Now, all of these strategies can be effective. But, yes some are easier than others. And the passive ones tend to take a lot longer than the proactive ones.

    Hard and Passive = Multimedia (Videos)

    Everyone is crazy about video these days. It’s a challenging, yet passive strategy. You put a lot work into creating a video and then post it on YouTube hoping people see it.

    It’s difficult to do well. It’s time-consuming and it can be expensive. And most videos are pure crap. If you want to do it well, it takes a chunk of change and a lot of time.

    Throwing up a lot of little videos on your website can be a nice touch, but they usually don’t get people to call you in droves.

    So, as you can see, I’m not crazy about a video strategy for self-employed professionals. I’m not saying they can’t work, but it’s a whole lot of work to do right.

    Best example: A non-duality teacher named Rupert Spira (non-duality.rupertspira.com/home). He does live workshops and films everything. Then his staff chops them up into questions and answer segments and posts them on YouTube. They’re five to fifteen minutes long. And what you see is what you get. No pitch, no hype. It’s his teaching unadulterated.

    He has hundreds of videos on YouTube with hundreds of thousands of views. Does it work? Well, his workshops are always full and all he does is a low-key email announcement to his list every month or two.

    I like this approach a lot. Got a lot of good content? Look good on video (unlike yours truly)? Then you may want to emulate Rupert.

    Easy and Passive = Publishing

    I happen to like this strategy a lot as it, ahem, built my “Empire.” It’s relatively easy: Write a how-to article on your subject matter once a week, send it out to those on your e-list and publish on your blog. Fame ensues.

    But online publishing can be a lot more than that. You can take those same articles and publish them on Medium, LinkedIn, and Ezine Articles. And then you can announce them on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. Sometimes you can get big exposure when writing an article for a major online publication. Web traffic multiplies.

    The cost is zero; an article takes from two to five hours to write (unless it takes you several days). And your ideas are online for eternity to be discovered by those looking for practical ideas. Some will opt-in to your e-list and perpetuate this virtuous marketing circle.

    The downside, of course, is that, according to my extensive research, (a 10 second Google search), there are 2 million articles published online every day. The mind reels. So your stuff will be out there, but somewhat lost in a very big haystack.

    I’m still a big advocate of online publishing, but the mountain is getting steeper and steeper. Just writing an article or two here and there won’t help you much.

    Best Example: Well, other than mine, of course, check out Henneke of Enchanted Marketing. She has a wonderful, readable, fun blog on business writing and blogging. And she walks her talk. It’s all about well-written, relevant content. If you don’t have that as a foundation, it’s a total waste of time.

    Hard and Proactive = Presentations

    I built my business on presentations in front of live audiences at professional associations and chambers of commerce. It got me attention, added people to my mailing list and generated warm leads for marketing coaching.

    And I still do presentations today in the form of webinars. I just filled my recent group program with the help of a couple webinars (also called video conferences). They most certainly do work.

    But I put presentations in the hard category, not because they are all that hard to give, but can take a long time to prepare. The last one I did took me two full days. There were about 200 slides (whew).

    Yes, that’s not the only way to do a webinar. You can just go live on Zoom Video, and that can work as well. You ultimately have to find your style and test what works.

    Presentations are proactive in that at the end you can ask for the business. And, of course, you can turn the recording of the webinar into a video in a snap and send it out to those on your list. Watch it here.

    So presentations will always play a big part in my marketing toolkit.

    One other thing though – If you don’t have a LOT of people on your email list, good luck in getting much of an attendance. Yes, you can do guest presentations hosted by others, but you don’t have the same control and ability to pitch your professional services.

    Best example: John Nemo of LinkedIn Riches (linkedinriches.com). His webinar is a blast. There are a lot of them out there in the online marketing world. And many, Like John, have set them up as evergreen webinars that are scheduled to play automatically several times a day. These are kind of a hybrid between publishing and presentations.

    Easy and Proactive = Email

    In my opinion, email is the most powerful overall marketing tool. And it gets the least respect. But I can’t imagine even being in business without email marketing.

    Social media gets all the PR and all the attention, but email gets the business. A recent study showed that email generated 40 times the business results of Facebook and Twitter combined.

    Email is the online tool that’s been around the longest, and I think it’s taken for granted. Promotional emails have expanded exponentially over the years, but most of it isn’t very good.

    We wade through our email boxes like we sort our mail over the trashcan. Delete, delete, delete. Why? Because it’s either not relevant or it’s boring. Usually both.

    I feel that email has the greatest potential of all the online marketing strategies because it’s both relatively easy and the most proactive marketing medium of all. Your message goes right into the mailbox of your potential client. Nothing else can do that.

    Marketing email holds great opportunities for improvement in several areas:

    1. How to incorporate humor as the most powerful attention-getting device in existence (that almost nobody is using).

    2. How to telegraph your value proposition straight to the minds and hearts of your prospect.

    3. How to make your emails clear, focused, and easy-to-read.

    4. How to craft a compelling call-to-action that is hard to resist.

    5. How to get emails to thousands of your prospects without looking like spam.

    If you’re not working on ALL of these, your emails will not get the attention and response you want.

    Best Example: Therapy Practice Accelerator. Visit this site and get on the list just to see the brilliance of the email marketing. It’s all about demonstrating results.

    What marketing strategies will you choose?

    Take the four marketing quadrants into consideration. The easier a marketing activity, the more likely you’ll actually do it. And the more proactive a marketing activity, the faster the response you’ll get.

    Cheers, Robert

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    Source by Robert Middleton

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