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  • Dealing With Emotional Triggers

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    I write this article because I realized that while going through a tough season in my life and going through the emotional healing process there were moments when out of nowhere something and even someone would say or do something unbeknownst to them that would set me on an emotional spiral because it triggered a negative memory or life moment gripped by strong emotions.

    Once the moment subsided I started wondering what I could do to not be undermined by emotional triggers in my life. It has a lot to do with your thought process which works with your emotions. I have been in the process of healing my soul and crucial to that process was dealing with how I think and how it was effecting my life. For the most part I am positive but a long season of growing pains had created a lot of woundedness in my soul. I made the decision not to see through my wounds anymore and to see from a healthy soul which begins with ridding myself of the negative thoughts that have been bombarding me. To do so I began with prayer and seeking God for the wisdom and solution to deal with the hurt in my soul. Below are the solutions that has and continue to work for me. I am wired to be productive so this is incorporated into my day and what I will do for that day

    1) Pray and get quiet within yourself to hear the answer

    2) Once the answer comes stay committed to the healing process. It will take time to heal in your soul.

    3) Stay Diligent it takes 21 days to establish a new habit, and 90 days to become a way of life.

    4) I listen to and watch positive teaching on thinking and healing my soul daily.

    5) I wake up praying and then listening to teaching on the radio to replace negative thoughts and self talk with faith filled thoughts & words

    6) I Listen to worship music and worship God through song, I also listen to soothing music without lyrics sometimes. This creates an environment of peace conducive for my soul to heal.

    7) On hard days press in harder and don’t stop the healing process.

    8) It is crucial to guard your eyes, ears, and heart.

    9) Negative things do happen and it’s important how you manage your emotional response

    10) Believe in yourself and make the decision to not line up with a negative perspective and choose to see the good

    For example there is a great worship song that was sung at my sisters home going service and on a Sunday in church the song was sung. I began to come unglued emotionally inside but no one around me knew I was struggling and I wanted to run but The Holy Spirit reassured me I will be alright with a comforting peace. I just started saying Hallelujah to calm myself and stay focused on the worship. Till this day I can no longer hear that song but learning how to manage the trigger. My Pastor A. R. Bernard taught us that it will take twelve pieces of positive information to replace one piece of negative information. Yes it is a battle but worth fighting to be free indeed, healed and whole in your soul.

    This sums it up when dealing with Triggers… It’s crucial to Breathe properly to help calm yourself and gather your thoughts to respond and not react to your triggers

    Quote: Take a breath. Pause. Iyanla Vanzant

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    Source by Jana Hicks

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  • Where to Invest 300 Dollars and How to Double It

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    There are many good reasons why doubling your money is a good idea, but by far, the best reason is that if you can sustain such a feat, you can make a large fortune very fast and compounding is the key and the answer to rapid wealth accumulation.

    One example is starting with just $300; you could literally have over $1 million dollars in 14 events or compoundings. If you took out a calculator now to prove it to yourself you will see how quickly $300 dollars turns into a million dollars if you double the result every time.

    The question and the whole point is however, how long will it take you to double your money the first time and how will you do it. Furthermore, the question is whether the process you came up with is scalable. It is relatively easy to double $300 dollars quickly but how will you double $500,000 dollars.

    The answers to these questions are detailed and convoluted but not difficult. Look at it this way, if you can add just 20% to your $300 dollars in one week, you can double it after four weeks. So if you can sustain that for 13 months you could indeed have your first million in just over a year.

    We are talking theory and this by far, would not be as simple as it sounds, but in actual fact it is specifiably possible. The math shows it. Putting together the circumstances that would create this situation would not be hard in the beginning. Lets consider a quick model.

    Buy a $700 dollar mountain bike you found cheap selling for $300, sell it by the end of the week for $600

    $600 buys a very very cheap little car. You clean the hub caps and vacuum the interior. You get $1250 for it in a week and a half.

    Your $1200 buys you another car worth $3000 you pick it up cheap and give it some attention and sell it for $2800 in under 2 weeks.

    Your $2800 makes a great down payment for a lot of land. A corner block that you have subdivided. You paid $30,000 now the two lots are worth $25,000 each. After sale you have $50,000 minus a loan of $27,000 leaves you with $23,000

    Repeat the above block subdivision a few times, until you get to $100,000 then possibly begin building on the lots. In a few more translations, you will be done.

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    Source by Terry Hart

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  • My Husband Doesn’t Love Me As Much As I Love Him – Tips and Advice That Might Help

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    I often hear from wives who have some issues with whether their husbands are “in love” with them or not. And, if the husbands are, the wives often measure this love by degrees, as compared to how much the wife loves him. I often him comments like “my husband doesn’t love me nearly as much as I love him. I make all of the concessions and advances in the relationship. He never makes any effort or shows me any attention or affection. It’s as if he merely tolerates me. He doesn’t ask me about my day or make any effort to engage with me. It’s like I’m someone who just merely coexists. On a scale of one to ten, I love him on a level that’s an eleven. And he loves me on a level that’s about a one.”

    I understand that this is a lonely and frustrating place to be. I experienced this in my own marriage and the way I handled this almost ended that same marriage. Through experience and research, it’s become pretty clear to me that there’s a right way and wrong way to handle this situation. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Score keeping Is Not The Best Idea For A Marriage. The Question Isn’t Which Spouse Loves The Other The Most: The Question Is Do Both Spouse’s Feel Loved?: I understand how depressing it feels when you suspect that you’re the only one who’s really “in love” or trying to keep the marriage afloat. But sometimes, wives focus so much on measuring how much their husband loves them against some imaginary yard stick that has few (if any) implications on real life. This doesn’t really do anything to change or improve their situation.

    I often tell wives to give up comparisons and worry instead about whether they’re feeling loved, wanted and valued. Obviously, the answer is most likely to be negative, but at least you’ve shifted your focus from score keeping to something on which you can take concrete action.

    It can also be very important to understand that men aren’t as demonstrative as women. So, expecting your husband to be a spouse that compares to you in terms of demonstrating their feelings may not be totally realistic. Very few husbands express their love and affection in the way that wives typically do. This doesn’t mean that they don’t love you enough. It just means that you’ll need to teach him how to express himself and you’ll need to encourage the behaviors that make you feel noticed, understood, and loved.

    Some wives tell me that they resent having to do all the work and having to train their husband to do something that he should just automatically do. These points are certainly valid. But, in my experience, it’s better to give a little in exchange for getting what you truly want than to remain angry, frustrated and indignant while you’re not getting your needs met. It’s important to address and fix this before you yourself begin to withdraw. Because when you have to spouses who are on the edge of indifference, this can leave the marriage in real trouble.

    When You’re Worried That Your Husband’s Lack Of Affection For You Means He’s Not Invested In The Marriage Or May Eventually Want Out: I often find that the wives who tell me that their husband’s don’t love them enough fall into two camps. The first is a situation where the marriage is probably really OK, but the husband has either gotten into the habit of not showing his affection or needs to relearn that lesson. This scenario is easier to fix.

    The second scenario is that the husband’s lack of affection is due to issues within the marriage or with his no longer being invested in it. This is the scenario which you often can not afford to ignore. Because often, his withdrawing from you is a symptom of a much bigger problem. So, attempting to teach a husband to show you the feelings that just aren’t there isn’t likely to work.

    Instead, you’ll need to examine why the feelings have left, fix and address the issue, and then reevaluate. This is likely easier said than done. Because in the same way that husband’s aren’t demonstrative, they also often don’t have a firm grip on their feelings and perceptions. They may well know that something is wrong and act upon it. But, unlike us, they don’t lay awake at night exploring and turning over the issue. They’re more reactive. When something is wrong, they withdraw and reshuffle their efforts instead of thinking about their feelings.

    They may not even be aware that they are doing this or even understand why they are doing it. And that can be one reason that they insist that nothing is wrong or that you’re imagining things. Since they haven’t pondered what the issue is (or even that it exists) you look like a real nag or complainer when you address the symptom of it. That’s why you’re often much better off just working and acting on your own (especially at first.)

    One of the biggest mistakes that I see many wives make is that they harp on a sensitive subject with an already distant and detached husband. So, they’re already on shaky ground and it’s clear he’s resistant, but they think that if they can just get him to “work” on solving the problem, things will get better. The problem with this is that he’s already begun to withdraw. He likely doesn’t want to “work” on the marriage, at least right now. You’ll have to return him to a point of being invested before you can gain any real ground.

    Most wives understand this deep down, but they hesitate or rush because they don’t know how to get their husbands to be receptive to them again. The key is often to take inventory of the marriage and see where the husband might not be getting what he wants and then to provide that without needing to have any large or painful discussions about the same.

    And, that’s a common place where wives get stuck. I often hear comments like “But how am I supposed to do this? I’m already the one whose providing all of the attention and affection and that’s not working either.” Often the question really isn’t the demonstrative affection (at least on the husband’s end.) The real issue is often the real connection, and the feeling of being truly heard, valued and understood. It’s also important that both parties know that no one is going through the motions, score keeping, nagging, or trying to manipulate the other.

    I often tell wives to focus on what they can do very genuinely and convincingly. Husbands know when you’re just putting on a show or trying to overcompensate for what is really the underlying problem. They don’t want more of the same. They don’t want to be manipulated. They often want real change and improvements instead of worrying about how things look on the outside.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • My Wife Feels Trapped in the Marriage

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    My wife feels trapped in the marriage and she wants me to leave her alone. For some reasons, she seems to lose her passion in the marriage. When you tried asking her many times, she will shun your questions to answer you. When this is happening to your marriage, it is obvious that something is bothering your wife and you do not know what to do.

    Your wife probably feels that her needs are not being met. She is most likely to be in a frustration of not knowing what to do and that is why she feels trapped in the marriage. She may also be worried or lost because she is feeling insecure too. If she wants some time to be left alone, just let her be. It will be worse when you try to force or pester her for an answer. You definitely need to find out what went wrong in the marriage, but you should not try to provoke her if she is not ready to share.

    Let her know that you truly care for her and is willing to do whenever she needs help to make her feel secure and even let her know you are willing to make better changes to the relationship. If your wife tells you that she is feeling trapped in the marriage because of issues like freedom and trust from you, then you should self evaluate the treatment you give her. Are you not giving her enough space? Did you always doubt her on the things she does? Did both of you quarrel over any particular things over and over again?

    It can be any reason that she feels trapped in the marriage. Most importantly, you have to find out the problems and work on it. Miscommunication is often one big misunderstanding that can create troubles to a marriage. There are always ways to compromise each other to make the relationship better. Other than that, keeping your marriage alive and interesting is one great success to lifelong marriage.

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    Source by Anastacia Huang

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  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

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  • Become the Network Marketing Superstar You Want to Become

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    What is holding you back from becoming the hottest network marketing superstar today? Would you like to change some elements to improve your business and watch it grow? Most people reading this will want to achieve some new changes in their lives and businesses. So, you know that you need changes in your life. At least you recognize that you have weaknesses, but do you know your strengths? Have you written out a list of your strengths and weaknesses. This is a map to discovering your next action steps. Don’t be fooled by doing it half way, be true and write out what you think is a weakness and strength. Only then will you know what areas you can change to become that superstar.

    Building the Network Marketing Superstar from the ground up

    This map has the potential to help you become a stronger person in life and in your network marketing business. You can use it to find tools and educational resources to help you develop the inner winner within. You are a champion already, but don’t you want to take it to the next level? If and when you are serious about making life improvements, try creating the list. Be 100% honest with it and you then you can take the step of faith into making changes to yourself. The hardest part is taking the action step. Most times, people will shy away from jumping into making little changes to certain habits or pursuing their educational needs.

    If you want to make your network marketing business better, you may want to consider taking serious action on your list. There may be small issues that are conflicting with your ability to connect with your audience. You may only need some additional education to overcome a slump. In other cases, some folks may need to take actual “action” and put “effort” into the business. Whatever is causing a conflict with your success needs to be found and dealt with now. If unsure about the issue, dig deeper into your activities and see what has changed and what your trainer has suggested to do. Your trainer can answer your questions and point you to some resources, but if you don’t use them. You won’t grow and become a stronger marketer. If you have a learning disability, you can work with it and find tools to help you understand the material and software better.

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    Source by David L. Feinstein

    Views: 0

  • Why Monitor Your MLM Reputation?

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    As you build your business your reputation will come under fire at some point. Your MLM marketing plan must include reputation monitoring. By including this key element, you can deal with the trolls and prospects that have decided to say something negative about you. Ignoring these complaints will damage your business and drop your trust. You need absolute trust to make business happen, being transparent isn't enough. Your reputation is at stake. A business that operates with a high and clean reputation will see success.

    The High Stakes of a Bad Reputation

    When you have a bad MLM reputation, you will lose business. That is the reward for dealing shady with prospects. Others like to use slander campaigns and this is an unethical practice and it can hurt if ignored. Your ability to react in a positive fashion is important to calm the waves as it ripples. You can't do this with negative retaliation content. This will look like a slap fight in the eyes of prospects, so there is a different way to handle this. You can debunk the misinformation by providing valuable content that answers the slander or complaints.

    Hopefully in the best cases, all issues will be sent to you directly by email or phone. This is easier to deal with, but there are many people that love to ring the "foul" bell for no reason at all. You will have to deal with these people, gentle but firm. The content that you produce to help build your reputation is just as important as marketing material. Be transparent like water and answer all questions with as much detail as possible. One sentence answers don't work, stuffed answers will show your lack of knowledge. Be careful as you tread through the land mine. It is easy to add credit to the accuser's content. There are professional reputation managers that can help you in this field, but it won't be cheap.

    Managing your Reputation

    You can set up search engine alerts under your MLM business name and wait for stuff to roll in. This is the easiest way to watch for content that is directed towards your business. You can then review the material and make appropriate responses toward the material. You should also respond to positive content as well. You don't have to write a book in return but be thoughtful in your responses and try to respond quickly, so prospects can see your rebuttal towards the statement of the individual.

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    Source by David L. Feinstein

    Views: 0

  • Internal Medicine: Characteristics You Want in This Type of Doctor

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    Having a chronic issue that just won’t resolve itself on its own is extremely frustrating. And while you may have gone to doctor after doctor, it may be time to see someone in internal medicine.

    A physician in internal medicine has more specialized education as opposed to a general practitioner. In addition, this doctor does not focus on things like pediatrics or obstetrics. The main role of this doctor is to diagnose, treat and prevent issues associated with all areas of the adult human body. So when trying to find one to fit your needs, be sure to keep a few things in mind.

    Expertise

    The whole reason for seeing a doctor in internal medicine is to get an answer to some of your most troubling health conditions. When you’ve exhausted all other options, such as family doctors or general practitioners, an internist is the next logical step. These doctors have made careers out of solving complex medical problems in adults. So be sure to explain the issues you’re having as well as make sure your internist has all your past medical history. This way, he or she can have a leg up in trying to figure out the root of your problem. In addition, a doctor in internal medicine has gone to school for at least seven or eight years, has passed a board exam as well as focused on a particular area of study, so he or she is well prepared to handle your problem, depending on what it is. For instance, if your issue deals with the heart, then you’d want to see a cardiologist. On the other hand, if you have reproductive issues, a reproductive specialist is best.

    Good Communication

    In addition to expertise, it’s essential that you have great communication with your doctor, especially when it comes to internal medicine. That’s because this doctor has the knowledge and experience to help you figure out what’s causing your issue. Yet, you want him or her to be patient and really listen to your issues. These doctors see numerous patients each day, but that doesn’t mean you should feel rushed through your visit. So when deciding on a good internist, pay attention to how he or she talks with you as well as listens. If you feel like your doctor has not given you the time you need, then you need to keep looking, because communication is key when trying to find a doctor in internal medicine.

    Timeliness

    When you’ve been referred to an internist, this means your general practitioner hasn’t had any luck figuring out what’s causing your problem. Or if he or she knows the problem, maybe they don’t know how to treat it; yet an internist will. Unfortunately, if your internist cannot see you until two months from now, then that’s a problem. Depending on your issue, you could possibly wait, but for most people, this is not acceptable. Instead, you should keep searching until you can find a specialist that can see you in a decent amount of time. Also, whenever you do find a good doctor in internal medicine and schedule an appointment, you want him or her to honor your appointment time. If you’re always waiting over an hour to see your physician, you may need to start a search for a new doctor.

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    Source by Anna Woodward

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