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  • Transforming Negative Emotions Into Positive Feelings and Actions Part 2

    Transforming Negative Emotions Into Positive Feelings and Actions Part 2

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    Techniques to Release, Overcome and Transform

    1.) Observe yourself having the emotion. Just become aware and watch yourself in the process. This de-fuses it and frees you from an emotional strangle-hold and escalation. It takes will and strong desire to do this and becomes easier with practice.

    2.) Choose an image, a personal symbol, to place in your mind to stop self as soon as you recognize a negative emotion happening. For example, a stop sign, 10 deep breaths, a Danger sign or whatever means ‘stop” to you.

    3.) Consciously lift and move your energy from your solar plexus (stomach) area to your heart. The emotional charge is in the stomach and when you relocate your focus to the heart, you calm down and can see what is best. You’ll become harmless to yourself and others as your center of love is activated and replaces the negative feeling. A better decision can then be made.

    Release the Emotion (A present Feeling or one from the past):

    1.) Stomp, pound a pillow, yell, run, cry; release the emotion from the body.

    2.) Image a shower of light pouring down on you and washing the painful emotion away.

    3.) Pull the plug on the emotion. Image it as a color going down a drain.

    4.) Journal, write your feelings down.

    5.) Art Therapy. Do a simple technique that releases the emotion by taking a sheet of paper and using crayons, markers or pastels to draw/scribble your feelings on the paper. Get them out on the paper; release them. Turn the paper and see this situation differently. Now, draw. A new perspective can harmonize the emotion you’re releasing.

    6.) We release emotions with intention to be rid of them, not to fuel the fire for more. Be sure to release with the desire to be free of them.

    Transforming Negative Emotions:

    1.) Change your energy field. Close your eyes and imagine the emotion as energy around you. What does it look like, what color, shape, form etc. does it take? Now allow it to change and smooth out, becoming transformed, harmonized, peaceful. What does it look and feel like now?

    2.) Change your perspective on the situation. Re-frame it in a way that’s positive/productive for you. Ask yourself, how this situation can help you. What is good about it? How are you growing from it? A positive attitude about something can help resolve it for you, even if it’s a difficult situation. A new mindset can change everything.

    3.) Ask self what the lesson you are learning from this situation is. Knowing the lesson helps transform the negative feeling and take on the mastery of the lesson you are in the process of learning.

    4.) Put a new and positive picture in your mind about the situation that is causing the hurtful emotion. Instead of dwelling on the painful scenario or the trauma incident or being yelled at or treated disrespectfully, replace it with one of yourself healed, happy, successful, determined to move on etc. Whatever feels great and counters the old feeling. Keep the new picture in place whenever the old feeling comes up. The mind and body respond quickly to pictures, so this will shift you fast.

    5.) Inner Listening. Get very quiet and go into the silence within. Allow your inner guide to bring you new insights, wisdom and solutions for healing and transformation.

    6.) Forgiveness means letting go. It doesn’t condone bad behavior, but lets the pain go. You and others have the right to make mistakes and grow. Forgive self if needed and forgive others. This doesn’t mean that you will choose to stay connected with anyone who harms you. It means you let go of the painful movie, get the lesson and move forward. You stop the images and negative emotions from their endless control over you. Restore your self- esteem if you’ve acted poorly and wish the other person well if they have. To clean yourself completely, do a systematic of forgiveness for everyone in your life. You will be rejuvenated. Forgive; let go and say goodbye to these emotions.

    7.) Change a gripe to a goal. If you regularly complain and feel negatively about something or someone, set a goal for yourself and be determined to accomplish it. For example, if you are jealous of someone who has a degree in art; stop it and find a way to get one for yourself. If you are short of money and angry at others who have it, stop it and chart your path, make a plan to increase your income. Things happen first in the mind, so begin to visualize yourself having what you want already now. Feel the joy of it and for 5 minutes several times a day, sit quietly and feel the emotions you would have if it were yours now. Soon you begin to believe you have it. In the Biology of belief, Bruce Lipton offers scientific proof that we get what we believe.

    8.) Thoughts and emotions are intimately connected in fact, inseparable. One leads to the other. What repetitive thoughts do you have that are hurting you? Are you taking charge of your negative thoughts and transforming them? Think the opposite of your negative thought as soon as you catch yourself having it. Correct yourself on a daily basis; over and over. Repetition of the new corrected thought forges a new brain pathway and pattern. Strong intention and follow through is necessary.

    Don’t let your mind wander all day without direction or self-monitoring. You can change your mind at any moment into a more positive state. Letting your thoughts run wild will take away your peace. Take charge of yourself and choose thoughts that will help you.

    9.) What belief about yourself do you want to change? Finances, relationships, self-concept, accomplishment of a specific goal; health, personal qualities etc. Beliefs that limit and cause pain keep your emotions at a painful level, and only you can change that.

    Taking Positive New Action

    1) Set clear boundaries. You decide what you will and won’t accept from people and act on it.

    2) Practice assertive communication with others. Tell them how you feel without blame or judgment; just how you feel. Stand up for self if needed.

    3) Be creative. Create something positive from your experience.

    For example, women who have been abused have set up women’s shelters around the country. People who grew up hungry have started programs to feed poor children.

    All of these techniques work. Practice and practice and you will see yourself and your life become fulfilled and beautiful. Be very patient with yourself, as this is hard work and takes a lot of self- control, intention and discipline. It’s a progressive unfolding of the highest part of self. Over time we blossom!

    Steps in Review:

    1.) Stop and control self.

    2.) Release the emotion

    3.) Transform the emotion

    4.) Take positive new action

    5.) Replace negative emotional reactions with spiritual actions and personal spiritual qualities.

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    Source by Carole Cravath

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  • 5 Mistakes to Avoid When Dating Over 40

    5 Mistakes to Avoid When Dating Over 40

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    Are you over 40 and thinking about dating? Well, then know that it's never too late to start a new relation as long as you're comfortable with it. But yes, starting to date again after a long gap that also after 40 can be a challenge sometimes. So let's take a look at some of the most common mistakes that you need to stop doing yourself right now.

    Being Too Eager or Too Indifferent

    Often people who date in their forties end up either being too desperate or too indifferent to start a conversation. But being too eager to start a relationship right away can actually scare the potential mate, leading to rejection. And being indifferent, on the other hand, may denote a lack of emotion and turn the dating experience in a sour one.

    Talking About Your Ex Too Much

    Talking about your Ex or Exes too much is one of the terrible mistakes that people in their 40s often commit. Dating offers a chance to start afresh. So, if you continue to talk about your previous relationships to your potential date, it may actually make them uninterested about you in the end.

    Taking Things Too Much Personally

    In this era of internet mingling, you must learn to not take actions and words too much personally or seriously. Instead, try to have fun with the new dating experience. No matter how much certain you are about your goals in life, don't judge your date instantly.

    Agreeing with Everything Too Much

    Do you agree with whatever your potential date says? Well then stop right now, as it will ruin your chances to have a reciprocating and honest romantic relationship. It's okay to fear a bit that you're over 40 and you can't effort people losing interest in you. But that doesn't mean you should say yes to things you're not comfortable with.

    Holding On to Outdated Beliefs

    Gone are the days when men used to ask women out; as in this cyberspace era, neither being shy nor waiting to be asked out can help you in finding the right date. Learn to make your move and you'll see dhow dating in 40s rocks.

    Remember, being over the age of 40 doesn't restrict you from being what you are or starting a new romantic relationship. Just be aware of not doing the silly mistakes mentioned above, and dating will be as fun as it used to be in your 20s.

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    Source by Achal Mehrotra

    Views: 0

  • 13 Healing Bullet Points

    13 Healing Bullet Points

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    Your life is not defined by the trials you encounter; it is determined by how you respond to personal challenges.

    “I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold… regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess that particular perspective. It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses. I will look into that mirror little bits at a time. SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able. This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

    Consider the following 13 bullet points and promises:

    • 1. Understanding how to heal your grief is your first essential step. THE PROMISE: A more clear understanding of your grief is possible as you stop grieving and start healing.

    • 2. Creating decisive thinking, attitude and skill are must-have qualities to master happiness. THE PROMISE: You can develop psychological and emotional empowerment by practicing specific and consistent actions.

    • 3. Don’t be stuck in a negative outlook; as a cure learn how to use grateful moments. THE PROMISE: By expressing your gratitude for uplifting and positive emotional experiences you can find the inner empowerment to start healing and begin new hope.

    • 4. Rescue yourself from floundering in your painful past. THE PROMISE: Concentrating on your new you and new conditions can begin your life anew.

    • 5. Take control of your personal thoughts and actions THE PROMISE. You have far more ability to determine what you think and how you act than you initially imagine.

    • 6. Wanting to heal is not enough; persuasive desires can give you vital healing clarity. THE PROMISE: As you hunger and thirst to overcome your grief and loss a clearer path will appear.

    • 7. Desiring your old life back is counterproductive; embracing your new circumstance will give you empowerment. THE PROMISE: New opportunities and possibilities are within your reach as you seek them.

    • 8. Everyone’s grief clock keeps its own time; your grief healing clock is correct – follow that time. THE PROMISE: Be kind to the grief you feel; allowing a short period of time for your sorrow is OK which will bring you clarity and resolve.

    • 9. You can’t hibernate expecting to awaken in the spring with your sorrow healed – action steps bring reconciliation. THE PROMISE: Happiness and hope are the result of your actions.

    • 10. Because of your horrendous condition you can feel uncertainty; yet, finding joy again is possible. THE PROMISE: You may experience hopelessness, indecision, impossibilities, even anger; nonetheless, finding new joy is reachable.

    • 11. You are not alone, thousands of others have suffered through their grief and found joy – you can also. THE PROMISE: You can find personal strength in the many examples of reconciling grief and finding joy again.

    • 12. Reinforce your capacity to direct your own attention toward your goal. THE PROMISE: You can guide yourself more effectively toward healing your grief and loss.

    • 13. Re-evaluate your outlook; consider all shifts that have occurred from your grief happening. THE PROMISE: As you reconnect with your passions, people, places or things you did previous and embrace the hope of greater understanding, peace and joy – clearness and hope will come.

    “Greatness is not in where we stand, but in what direction we are moving. We must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but sail we must, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

    Finding healing, harmony and happiness after grief involves a specific conditioning of the mind and heart. A steady fulfillment of contentment, confidence and hope are needed and essential. The 13 foregoing important bullet points and promises will support you in understanding, reconciling, and healing your grief and loss; they will give you inner empowerment needed to weather your personal life storms.

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    Source by Duane Marchant

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  • Trading Psychology – The Number One Goal-Setting Mistake Traders Make in Trading

    Trading Psychology – The Number One Goal-Setting Mistake Traders Make in Trading

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    The number one goal-setting mistake traders make is setting goals related to money. Active traders will often tell me that they have a goal of making X-dollars a day or X-points a day. That's just not a good way to structure a goal.

    Trading Goals Related to Money

    What happens when the market trades in a very narrow range? Typically, price movement will remain within the first hour's range throughout the day. That range might only be 5 or 6 points – too narrow to offer much trading opportunity. It is very difficult to make money on such narrow range days.

    So, if you goal was to make X dollars a day how do you do that on a narrow range day? Since it is nearly impossible to make good trades on such a day, you would have failed to achieve your goal. And, if you couldn't read that the market has narrowed its range and instead tried to reach your money goal, you would have likely been trying to trade at every little turn and wound up over trading a choppy, range-bound day. At best your money goal had set you up for failure because you couldn't achieve it. Worse, your money goal caused you to force trades in a choppy market, and maybe you lost money. Goals that promote failure, poor trading habits, and losses are not useful goals.

    A Better Trading Goal

    A better goal focuses on your development as a trader. It will help you improve your trading knowledge, skills, or abilities. Rather than thinking about money, think instead about the process of trading. The process of trading simply refers to the skillful actions a trader takes in trading effectively. A useful question to ask is:

    What trading process, if I were to improve and develop in this area, would add to my ability as a trader?

    Example of a Better Trading Goal

    An example will help to illustrate how to do this. Let's say you want to improve your ability in trading trends. You have done a self-assessment of your trading on trending days and find that your greatest limitation is that you tend to counter trade the trend. A simple solution might be to notice whether the market is moving with momentum and making higher lows and higher highs (for a bullish trend). A useful process goal then becomes:

    Prior to taking a trade that fades a move, I will assess whether the market is moving with momentum and making higher highs and higher lows. If it is trending, I will not take the trade. I will execute this process on at least 85% of all trades considered over the next 20 trading days.

    Note that this goal is useful because it builds skills and ability in assessing market movement. It also keeps the trader from taking poor quality trades. The next step for this trader would be to develop a goal to execute trades consistent with the trend – again, a process goal.

    Trading goals should be designed to help you achieve. Goals related to money, points, or other 'stats' won't help you do that. Work on trading goals that are related to achievement by helping you to develop your trading skills.

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    Source by Gary Dayton, Psy.

    Views: 0

  • How To Make Your Rebellious Wife a Submissive Wife

    How To Make Your Rebellious Wife a Submissive Wife

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    All too frequently in the regular or secular world exist the battle and the discussion about women who ought to submit to men. Do an Internet search on “rebellious wives” or “rebellious women” and you will find this is no small concern, nor is there a shortage of opinions. There are Rebellious Magazine For Women, Rebellious Thoughts of A Woman, videos of men chastising women to submit, etc. Christians carry a greater volume of the discussion since in books of the Bible like Ephesians, Colossians, and 1 Peter clearly says that “…submit yourselves to your own husbands” (NIV).

    Even government and political issues have no protection from this culturally unsettling thought as presidential candidate Michele Bachman was asked if she is a “submissive wife” in an Iowa GOP debate.

    Well, while we are in the mood of celebrating “Fathers Day” I want to bring an answer and the solution to men and likely fathers who are being shredded emotionally by this psychological think-tank we have created around this issue. Regardless of my position as an author, speaker, and more for family legacy issues, I deliver this more from a man and father who has a willingly submissive wife. Yet my wife is a mother, career woman, independently strong, and opinionated. However there is no conflict in her submission. Why, you ask?

    The way to make rebellious wife a submissive wife is to:

    1) Be a considerate husband – Have knowledgeable and intelligent understanding of your wife. Be a student of your wife at all levels of intimacy and not just pertaining to sexuality. Give her honor which is more from your ready preparation to endure the price of deep suffering for her. This is the same price that is meant by the readiness to die protecting your wife and children.

    2) Acknowledge her as the weaker vessel – Remember that a vessel is very rarely ever interpreted as something abstract; rather there is always tangibility to the context of its use. As such the expression of weaker is clearly addressing a physical aspect of the woman or your wife, and not mental (intelligence), psychological, or emotional. Our society has abused this expression greatly.

    3) Realize your equality with your wife – This speaks of yours and your wife’s level of importance. Between the two of you there is none favored; you are absolutely equals in the essence of your relationship. So does the Bible contradict itself by repeatedly stating “wives must submit”? No, the Bible’s call is strictly based on the roles we must play as a husband and wife.

    4) Intercede on her behalf in purity – Your purity of heart, actions, and thoughts carry a great importance and is the determinant your consistency or inconsistency in attitude towards her. More importantly your purity is critical to your prayers for her and your children before God.

    If you can authentically demonstrate, personify, and exemplify these four components within the nature of your relationship to your wife, I promise you a rebellious wife will fast become a submissive wife to and for you. The truth is your wife is design to be incapable of not submitting. In honesty, she does not have a problem submitting to a man. She simply has a problem submitting to you as a man. Sadly, you are the only one she is truly designed/created to submit to. The great news…it can be fixed.

    By the way, here is the source of my wisdom:

    1 Peter 3:7 (AMP)

    In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an[c]intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]

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    Source by Ezechiel Bambolo, Jr

    Views: 0

  • Affirmations – Putting Emotion in Your Words

    Affirmations – Putting Emotion in Your Words

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    It is true; affirmations are just sentences with a positive slant, just words. On their own they can do little to change your life. Power, life transforming power, becomes embedded in affirmations when you add emotion while you are saying them.

    Words are words, but emotion is energy and our Universe operates on energy. It is the energy behind our words that gives life to affirmations and sets them in motion to manifest. One of the main pitfalls people run into when saying affirmations is that they are saying a sentence they do not believe in and thus do not put emotion into. The goal is to feel your affirmations as if they were already true. Here are the three reasons that emotion is absent from affirmations and the remedy for each:

    1. Existing beliefs conflict with the affirmation. When you affirm, “I am a millionaire!” while believing “There is not enough to go around.” it can be impossible to feel like a millionaire. You would actually be manifesting more lack because when you say your affirmation with a conflicting belief, the automatic reaction is to think that the affirmation is false which is usually accompanied by a feeling of hopelessness.

      The fix here is to work on the conflicting belief first. First, pay attention to how you feel when you say your desired affirmation. If you feel hopeless or sense a conflict, explore that feeling until you come up with the belief that is the root cause. When you have identified that belief, create an affirmation to address it. From our example above, if you believe that there is not enough to go around an effective affirmation would be “I choose to believe in abundance.” Once you have addressed your conflicting belief your mind will open up to believing all sorts of new and exciting things.

    2. Doubt. If you doubt that saying affirmations will change your beliefs, habits, actions and life, it can certainly be hard to feel emotion while you say them.

      To address this, read as much as you can about the power of your mind and affirmations. Say your affirmations right after you have finished reading something particularly inspirational or motivational. You will find that your excitement over reading the possibilities related to the potential of your mind will carryover while you say (and feel) your affirmations. I highly recommend, “You can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.

    3. You are not quite there. You may be close to believing you affirmation, but it is a bit of a stretch. You may not have a conflicting belief, but it is hard for you to imagine and feel that truth in your life at this moment.

      In this case, adding the words “choose” or “accept” to your affirmations can soften them enough to make them 100% believable in this moment. The affirmation “I am abundant.” would become “I choose to be abundant.” or “I accept abundance into my life.”

    My last tip for adding emotion to your affirmations is to smile! Works every time.

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    Source by Danea Horn

    Views: 0

  • Don’t Ignore These Telltale Signs of Drug Abuse in Teens

    Don’t Ignore These Telltale Signs of Drug Abuse in Teens

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    Drug abuse has for a long been a problem among teenagers with peer pressure as the key factor driving it. Despite being well documented, parents and caregivers tend to ignore the apparent symptoms of drug abuse in the growing children. The early instances of drug abuse evoke far greater health consequences in this age group than in any other group.

    One of the reasons behind the increase in the severity of repercussions of drug abuse is that during adolescence both body and mind are still in the process of development. Apart from the fact that drugs can alter brain chemistry and structure, illicit drug use among teenagers can increase vulnerability to motor crashes and instigate risky sexual behavior. Additionally, drug abuse increases suicidal tendencies, assaults, symptoms of mental health conditions and dropout rate at schools.

    Illicit drug use also entails legal and social consequences, such as increase in incidents of violence, criminal activities and neglect, as well as a higher likelihood of abusing drugs in later life. In addition, pregnant teenage girls who continue engaging in drugs are at risk of harming the fetus and themselves in many ways.

    Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence

    Nurturing and caring for a teenager is no easy task. The bumpy journey of growth that includes a number of transitional phases, ranging from hitting puberty to adolescence, yearning for dependence to realizing independence, “I love you” to “I hate you,” to confronting life without a safety net to making sense of it all, can mislead parents, guardians and caregivers, especially when their children are on drugs.

    Even in the absence of any evidence, it is important that parents who feel that something is wrong with their children trust their hunch and take significant remedial actions, such as talking to their children or seeking professional help.

    One of the most practical tools to address the problem of drug abuse among teenagers is communication. Usually, drug-using teenagers develop traits that assist them in concealing their growing addiction-related practices.

    They also spend their time incommunicado. When a teenager displays odd behavioral patterns, such as not being themselves after a social event, being vague about the details of the movie watched, getting home beyond curfew, avoiding interaction or getting close to their parents, it is best to investigate to safeguard their health and life.

    Some of the below-mentioned warning signs specified by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) can assist parents in keeping a check on their adolescent children:

    • A change in peer group
    • Carelessness with grooming
    • Poor academic performance
    • Increased absenteeism
    • Loss of interest in favorite activities
    • Changes in eating or sleeping habits
    • Deteriorating relationships with family members and friends

    Although the 2016 Monitoring the Future (MTF) survey of drug use among American teenagers suggests decline in the past year use of illicit drugs, except marijuana, alcohol and drug use amidst teenagers is a major public concern. In addition, there is substantial evidence that drug use in early years increases the likelihood of a teenager developing substance use disorder and the symptoms of mental health conditions in their adulthood. However, early intervention is known to reduce and treat these conditions more successfully compared to those who let the abuse linger or get treated late.

    Pull the plug on drugs

    The earliest warning signs of drug abuse among teenagers are changes in their behavior and mannerism. Usually, addressing a teenager’s drug abuse habits can be an unpleasant ordeal, which is at times riddled with extreme opposition from the patient.

    Therefore, it is important that parents communicate with their adolescent children about the life-threatening consequences of drug abuse. They should also discuss about the ways that can assist in overcoming the challenge of drug abuse. They can guide their children in the right direction through their love and care.

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    Source by Courtney Whetstone

    Views: 0

  • The ART Of Living Healthy

    The ART Of Living Healthy

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    Enjoying a truly, happy, healthy life, requires understanding, and taking advantage of, the ART, and science, of living, healthy! This means, avoiding, any search, for any shortcuts, instead of committing to a combination of the discipline, mindset, focus, and emphasis, on finding personal, peace – of – mind, and. hopefully, living a happy life! When we are happiest, we tend to become capable, of living the healthiest life, because, we become proactive, objectively introspective, and focused, on living life, to its fullest, rather than emphasizing, potential negative possibilities! With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, using the mnemonic approach, why this is so essential, to our health, and well – being.

    1. Attitude; aptitude; attention; actions: When one has a real, genuine, positive, can – do, attitude, instead of wasting time, considering all the negative possibilities, and procrastinating, he proceeds forward, welcoming possibilities, exploring alternatives and options, and maintaining a well – considered, positive, can – do, attitude! Committing to combining this, with a relevant, well – developed, skill – set, and aptitude, while paying keen attention, to being, as happy, as possible, brings forth, far more happiness, etc. However, it takes, much more than merely, talking about it, etc, but, rather, taking well – designed, relevant actions, in a timely manner!

    2. Realistic; responsive; responsible; relevant; right: Avoid the temptation to lie, to yourself, but, rather, be realistic, so you can properly plan, the best course of action! Be responsible to your needs, in a responsible, relevant way, focusing on the best way, to make yourself, achieve your objectives, and priorities! Focus on doing the right thing, and making the best decisions, instead of expedient ones, or following the path, of least resistance!

    3. Time – tested; timely; trends: Study, learn, and understand, the time – tested methods, concepts, and reasons, while learning any, and all trends, which might make you happier, and hopefully, healthier! Most people procrastinate, when they should expand the limitations of their personal comfort zone, and, proceed, consistently, with well – considered, timely actions! Align your actions and behavior, with doing, what’s best, for you!

    Most of us claim, and convince ourselves, we want to live a happier, healthier life, but few are ready, willing, and able, to take the right course of action, on a consistent basis! How might you use, the ART of living healthy, to your best advantage?

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    Source by Richard Brody

    Views: 0

  • Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?

    Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?

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    Your mindset, your thoughts, can buoy you up, inspiring you to take courageous action, or they can drag you down, keeping you up at night with worry and paralyzing you with fear. Even though our brains are wired to dwell on the negative, on past mistakes, how we think in this moment is something we can control.

    Changing our minds in the present moment can be hard work! I know from experience that when things aren’t going well, one of the toughest things to do is to turn your mind from impending doom to what is possible and what can be done.

    The good news is that the more you practice these mindset boosters, the easier they become. They do, in fact, become habits that kick in when you need them the most.

    The even better news is that the more you practice them, the more impact both you and your company will have. Staying on track and not allowing yourself to be pulled down will save you a lot of time and energy. The time and energy you free up can be spent on your company’s financial performance and having impact.

    S0 let’s look at ways you can do a mindset reset and the practices that will support you in doing so:

    The Future Doesn’t Just Happen – You Shape It Every Day

    Have you ever seen or read about people in the direst of circumstances who are transcendent, happy? And others who seem to have everything, and yet feel deprived? The way you choose to think about a situation, the parts of yourself that you call on, even dig deep for, are what determine your present and your future. Your thinking is integral to your character.

    When things look negative, question it. There’s always a way to think about a situation that includes a gift, an opportunity. This may seem contrived at first, but think about situations where you’ve suddenly had a shift in perspective and a solution appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. That’s the effect you want to be able to call on.

    “Circumstance does not make the person,

    it reveals the person to himself or herself.”

    ~James Allen

    People become leaders of successful, impactful companies by becoming the people who can lead those companies first. They walk with integrity. They make smart decisions. They step up and into opportunity with courage. They acknowledge their fears, but don’t indulge them. They learn and grow.

    You are becoming the leader of your high impact company right now, in how you show up every day. Treating people with respect. Listening to ideas. Choosing how you use your time and energy. Making decisions with your mind AND your heart.

    You can shape your future by consciously developing the mindset of the leader who leads your company in these ways.

    Doubling down on mission is one way to ensure that your company moves more in the direction of your impact. New Belgium Brewing became a benefit corporation in 2018, ingraining its commitment to internal and community impact in its legal framework, and is now the fourth-largest craft brewery in the US.

    Fear and Getting Through the Storm

    We all have fears. Fears about how the company will do financially this year, about that crucial new hire who looks promising but is unproven, or about how your new offering will fare in a busy market. Fears can abound, especially if nurtured and given attention.

    “The future you constantly worry about

    Is nothing other than a projection of fear and desire from the past.”

    ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    Fears can instead be a tool, an indicator. They can lead you to research, to ask good questions, and to explore options. As long as you don’t allow fears to take over the present, they can actually be valuable.

    One way to be vigilant about fears is with mindfulness. Mindfulness, that focus on the present, is more than a business fad. It’s a practice that decreases stress and increases productivity.

    The leaders of outdoor apparel maker Patagonia are committed to using their successful company as a vehicle to put mindfulness into action. Patagonia founder Yves Chouinard describes navigating what could be a terrifying Class 4 rapid as a teaching:

    • look ahead and prepare

      • be proactive
      • don’t ignore what is coming
      • think through scenarios
      • do what is necessary to get ready to the best of your ability
      • trust that you can handle whatever happens


    • go into a drop

      • take calculated risks
      • once you decide, follow through wholeheartedly


    • read the river

      • be vigilant
      • be perceptive
      • adjust as needed.

    That intuitive process has helped guide his business for the last 50 years. Chouinard believes that if the process isn’t sound, if your intentions don’t come from the right place, the outcome, even if profitable, doesn’t matter.

    Practicing wisdom by making decisions from a place of love rather than fear can open the door to creative solutions. When Patagonia’s CEO Casey Sheahan was faced with laying off 150 employees during the financial crisis, shortly after he took over from Chouinard, he was torn up about the decision. His wife asked him, “Are you making this decision from a place of fear, or from a place of love?” When he realized that it was fear driving the layoff decision, he found another way, leading to unheard-of sales levels after a few rocky quarters.

    Fear can be a driver of decisions and actions, but they don’t have to be. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book, Big Magic, tells the story of treating her fears like an inevitable passenger on a road trip. Fears can and will be there, but they can Never. Ever. Drive.

    Focus on Your Impact

    Do you find your Impact Purpose, a clear statement of the impact you want to have, inspiring? Does it fill you with energy? If it doesn’t, at least most of the time, you might be on the wrong track. Your clarity about the impact you want to have, whether it’s social or environmental or both, can serve as the rock on which you build your impactful business.

    When you steadily focus on your Impact Purpose, you’ll find your thoughts turning from short-term pain to what you could achieve in your business and community. This thinking about others, and not just yourself, is a way to bring you out of the doldrums or away from unhelpful divergent thinking, and back into focus on your impact.

    Reinforce this by having your Impact Purpose statement in front of you, every day. Have it on your desk or screen. In your wallet. On your fridge. Wherever you will be regularly reminded of what you intend, personally and with your company.

    Plan your day and week with your Impact Purpose in mind. Include it in your decisions about how time, money, and resources will be spent, and with whom. Thoughts aligned with purpose are a powerful creative force. Fill your attention with something worthwhile.

    The greatest achievement was at one time a dream. Stay with your dream. It’ll be part of your becoming.

    You Are the Company You Keep

    You may have heard the notion that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. That speaks to the influence that those around you have on your thinking and therefore on your actions.

    Some companies who are committed to having impact take this to a highly conscious level. Design firm LimeRed, led by Emily Lonigro Boylan, only works with individuals or organizations that have social impact. LimeRed only engages with clients whose values they share, who are kind and innovative, and who are also accountable to their stakeholders and communities.

    You as a business leader can also take this to another level by incorporating it into decisions about who you include on your team, your suppliers, and your partners. Do you vet who you work with every day through this lens? Do you extend this to your advisors, your pet projects, and your friends?

    You’re more likely to have impact when you devote all your energy and resources toward people and companies that also want to have impact in harmony with yours.

    Your mindset matters to your own fulfillment and well-being. It matters to your company, as you engage with your community and the larger world. Optimize your opportunity to have impact by doing this mindset reset.

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    Source by Ursula Jorch

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