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  • Tony Robbins – Personal Power II – Day 17 – Wealth Conditioning

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    “Money is nothing but a means to measure the exchange of value between people.”

    ~ Tony Robbins

    Many of us have pain associated with wealth in an approach/avoidance dance. Because of events in our past, we can call these “wealth wounds”. There can be lots of sensitivity about financial issues and so if these wounds are not healed, it is impossible to gain a ton of financial resources.

    Generally speaking, poverty and lack brings out the worst in people and abundance brings out the best. People who are living in poverty tend to have the highest criminal records, the most drug use and the most unhappiness. Being one of the consistently broke group of people doesn’t help you or the group. You can do more good by becoming wealthy in order to be able to give back.

    There are seven reasons why most people never make it financially.

    1). They associate negative things to having or making money. Remember, the past does not equal the future.

    2). They do not set having an abundance of money as an absolute must. Unless we decide what is a necessity, not an option, how can there be any improvement?

    3). Having an effective strategy of building wealth is non-existent for them. To condition yourself for great wealth, strategies must be developed for

    • attracting money into your life
    • managing your dollars
    • sharing your money, which will give you much happiness

    4). They are unable to follow through consistently on their financial goals. Finding ways for your money to work for you, such as harnessing compound interest which can take a lot of pressure off if you have time to watch it grow.

    5). They depend too much on the “experts.” There is no one who cares more about your money than you do. Experts are valuable, but you need to take care of your money and taxes. If you make errors in these types of decisions and planning, you will be ultimately responsible, not your professional.

    6). They become financially complacent. Many people take their wealth for granted. Whatever you fail to use, you will lose. It is a good idea to note that if you do well with what you have, you’ll be able to get more and, if you don’t actively create welth, itwhat you have will be taken from us. Don’t hoard what you have.

    7). They allow financial challenges go from bad to worse into financial ruin. Most likely, the road to wealth is not a straight line. If and when problems arise, stay in the game and ask great questions to help get back on track.

    Be willing to transform crisis into opportunity. By having financial faith, you can learn from the situation and find even more opportunities.

    The assignment:

    Give yourself a financial checkup to find out your “wealth wounds” so you can heal yourself quickly:

    1). Ask yourself to list the beliefs that you have that hold you back.

    2). Is there a specific amount of money that is an absolute MUST? Is this number the “must” for your life, or is this number the ability to live comfortably by paying your current bills?

    3). “Never leave the site of setting a goal or making a decision without taking some action towards its fulfillment. Make sure you do some action to set you on the course for financial mastery.

    4). Find something in today’s session to start feeling like you’re making progress. Remember, tiny actions lead to a pattern of habits which ultimately can be used to create the financial freedom we all deserve.

    5). You can make a list of financial terms or aspects of financial management that are not fully understood. Find the people or resources who cn provide answers about these things.

    6). Remember we talked about complacency? Write a paragraph about the “why” you will follow through with your plan and avoid complacency. Recognize the excuses you used in the past. Mastery is the only option now.

    7). Ultimately, what frees us from fear, is the belief that we are much more than anything that could ever happen to us financially. Write down one or two situations that seemed very difficult that you pulled yourself through. Remind yourself that you have this capacity to turn challenges into success.

    Sometimes our “wealth wounds” are most tender to try and heal, but the good news is that there are ways to heal them. One way is to find someone who has successfully gotten where you’d like to be. You can “model” after their example if you find out exactly what they did and then follow that pattern.

    Taking the time to do these exercises will teach you more about yourself. Fine tuning the skills in this lesson will provide additional ways to condition yourself for success.

    Onward.

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    Source by Deb Bauer

    Views: 0

  • Better Customer Service Through Effective Time Management

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    Being able to manage and prioritize is an important skill when servicing customers. Planning events, activities, and tasks on a yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily basis-that is, prioritizing time-can be rewarding from the standpoint of allowing you to be more proactive in preparing to deal with situations. Such planning can reduce your need to be a crisis manager. It is important on and off the job because, if you do not manage your personal life well, you may carry over personal stress into the workplace. This is not only inefficient; it is also unfair to your employer, peers, coworkers, and external customers.

    After you have scheduled key events and tasks using some type of scheduling system (e.g., time management software, written planning system or calendar, or electronic scheduling device that can download information into your computer), review the information regularly to avoid forgetting something.

    One way to manage events, rather than having them manage you, is to create a list of activities each day and assign a value to each based on importance. The key is to be consistent and prioritize each day. Some people make planning the last activity of their workday. When they arrive to work the next morning, they are ready to begin rather than spending time preparing.

    Guidelines for Setting Priorities

    Three guidelines can help you in determining what tasks to do first. These can help you create a realistic and achievable list of daily tasks. As you learned when you read about goal setting in other chapters, goals must be attainable. Use the following standards as a guide when setting priorities.

    Judgment. You are the best judge of what you can accomplish in any given day. You know your strengths and what has to be done. When selecting priorities, remember that the ones having the most impact on customers and others should be placed high on your list. On the other hand, do not put so many priorities on a daily list that you will not get them done. If this happens, you might become discouraged and give up.

    When you find that you have more high priorities than you have time, you may need to ask for help or guidance from your boss. Many times, simply asking for assistance helps develop your relationship with others. They feel respected and trusted by your gesture, as long as you do not abuse their help or appear to be unloading your tasks onto them. Also, consider other resources that you might use to accomplish tasks (e.g., technology, outside vendors, or customers).

    Relativity. Assigning priorities is a matter of relativity. Some tasks and projects are readily rated higher than others. You should be guided by the question “What is the best use of my time?” Many people fill their daily schedule with frivolous or easy tasks and with tasks that they like to do. This produces a hollow feeling of accomplishment. They may get a lot done throughout the day and enjoy doing it, but they have not added a lot of value to customer service or aided in accomplishing organizational goals. Keep in mind when setting priorities in the workplace that your primary focus should be your customers and activities that support them.

    Timing. Reality and deadlines have a way of dictating priorities. The starting time of a project or task also may establish priorities. Once you begin a task, there must be enough time to finish it. If this is not possible, you may have to re prioritize or seek assistance.

    Be realistic about the time it will take to complete a task. Make sure that you schedule that much time, plus a little extra, on your daily planning sheet. Also, consider your peak time period for performance. Each person typically has a period of the day in which he or she has more energy and can get more done. Capitalize on your peak period and schedule high-priority tasks during that time, if possible.

    Prioritizing System

    To set up your own priority system, list all of your pending activities and then group them according to their level of importance. How you assign value to a task is not as important as long as you use the same format each day. Many people use an A, B, C system, and others use a 1, 2, 3 format. Here are suggested criteria for assignment:

    Priority A-Must do or critical items. Some things must be done because of management directives, local, state, or federal regulations, importance to customers or clients, deadlines, or opportunities they provide for your success or advancement (e.g., state tax reports, actions requested by a customer, or application for a position in the organization with a specific cutoff date for submission).

    Priority B-Should do. Items in this category are of medium value. Although they may contribute to customer satisfaction and improved performance, they are not essential or do not have critical deadlines (e.g., mailing an unsolicited information kit to a customer about a new product or developing a proposal for changing an existing system or process).

    Priority C-Nice to do. This is the lowest category and includes tasks that are not a direct link to customer satisfaction. They may even be fun or interesting, but could be omitted or left undone. Postponing or scheduling such priorities until a slower time period will likely have little or no impact on customer service (e.g., meeting with team members to brainstorm ideas for a more efficient layout of cubicles, cleaning old e-mail files, or neatly lining up the products on a shelf).

    Note: As you go through your e-mail and voice mail messages at the times you have scheduled throughout the day, prioritize them, and add them to your list of things to do.

    The key to effective time management is to have a plan and work that plan. If you control your time, you and your customers both stand to gain from your efforts.

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    Source by Bob Lucas

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  • 25 Health Benefits of Cinnamon – A Miraculous Spice

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    Cinnamon is one of the world’s oldest known spices. The tree is native to Sri Lanka where it was found thousands of years ago. It is the best spice available in terms of its nutrition and health. It contains unique healthy and healing property comes from the active components in the essential oils found in its bark. Cinnamon has extremely high anti-oxidant activity due to which it has numerous health benefits. Aside from being used as a medicine by other cultures since ancient times, the health benefits may also come from eating it which can be listed as follows:

    1. Lowers Cholesterol:

    Studies have shown that just 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon included in a daily diet can lower cholesterol.

    Also Cinnamon may significantly lower LDL “bad” cholesterol, and triglycerides (fatty acids in the blood) and total cholesterol.

    2. Reduces blood sugar levels and treating Type 2 Diabetes:

    Several studies have shown improved insulin sensitivity and blood glucose control by taking as little as ½ teaspoon of cinnamon per day. Improving insulin resistance can help in weight control as well as decreasing the risk for heart disease.

    3. Heart Disease:

    Cinnamon strengthens the cardiovascular system thereby shielding the body from heart related disorders. It is believed that the calcium and fiber present in cinnamon provides protection against heart diseases.

    Including a little cinnamon in the food helps those suffering from coronary artery disease and high blood pressure.

    4. Fights Cancer :

    A study released by researchers at the U.S. Department of Agriculture in Maryland showed that cinnamon reduced the proliferation of leukemia and lymphoma cancer cells.

    Besides, the combination of calcium and fiber found in Cinnamon can help to remove bile, which prevents damage to colon cells, thus prevents colon cancer.

    5. Tooth decay and mouth freshener:

    Cinnamon has traditionally been used to treat toothache and fight bad breath. Small pieces of cinnamon can be chewed, or gargled with cinnamon water which serves as a good mouth freshener.

    6. Cures Respiratory Problems:

    Cinnamon is very useful home remedy for common or severe colds. A person suffering should take one tablespoon of honey with 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon powder daily for 3 days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold and clear the sinuses.

    Cinnamon also found to cure flu, influenza, sore throat and congestion.

    7. Brain Tonic:

    Cinnamon boosts the activity of the brain and hence acts as a good brain tonic. It helps in removing nervous tension and memory loss.

    Also, studies have shown that smelling cinnamon may boost cognitive function, memory, performance of certain tasks and increases one’s alertness and concentration.

    8. Infections:

    Due to its antifungal, antibacterial, antiviral, anti-parasitic and antiseptic properties, it is effective on external as well as internal infections. Cinnamon has been found to be effective in fighting vaginal yeast infections, oral yeast infections, stomach ulcers and head lice.

    9. Eases menstruation cycles:

    Cinnamon has also been found useful for women’s health as it helps in providing relief from menstrual cramping and other feminine discomforts.

    10. Birth Control:

    Cinnamon also helps in natural birth control. Regular consumption of cinnamon after child birth delays menstruation and thus helps in avoiding conception.

    11. Breastfeeding:

    It is also believed that cinnamon aids in the secretion of breast milk.

    12. Reduces Arthritis Pain:

    Cinnamon spice contains anti-inflammatory compounds which can be useful in reducing pain and inflammation associated with arthritis.

    A study conducted at Copenhagen University, where patients were given half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder combined with one tablespoon of honey every morning had significant relief in arthritis pain after one week and could walk without pain within one month

    13. Digestive Tonic:

    Cinnamon should be added to most recipes. Apart from adding flavor to the food, it also aids in digestion. Cinnamon is very effective for indigestion, nausea, vomiting, upset stomach, diarrhea and flatulence. It is very helpful in removing gas from the stomach and intestines. It also removes acidity, diarrhea and morning sickness. It is often referred to as a digestive tonic.

    14. Reduces Urinary tract infections:

    People who eat cinnamon on a regular basis report a lower incidence of urinary tract infections. Cinnamon is diuretic in nature and helps in secretion and discharge of urine.

    15. Anti clotting Actions:

    A compound found in Cinnamon called as cinnamaldehyde has been well-researched for its effects on blood platelets. [Platelets are constituents of blood that are meant to clump together under emergency circumstances (like physical injury) as a way to stop bleeding, but under normal circumstances, they can make the blood flow inadequate if they clump together too much]. The cinnamaldehyde in cinnamon helps prevent unwanted clumping of blood platelets.

    16. Natural Food Preserver:

    When added to food, it prevents bacterial growth and food spoilage, making it a natural food preservative.

    17. Headaches and migraine:

    Headache due to the exposure to cold wind is readily cured by applying a thin paste of powdered cinnamon mixed in water on the temples & forehead.

    18. Pimples and Blackheads:

    Cinnamon helps in removing blood impurities. Therefore it is often recommended for pimples.

    Also external application of paste of cinnamon powder with a few drops of fresh lemon juice over pimples & black heads would give beneficial result.

    19. Thinning of the blood and improves blood circulation:

    Cinnamon is a blood thinning agent which also acts to increase circulation. This blood circulation helps significantly in removing pain. Good blood circulation also ensures oxygen supply to the body cells leading to higher metabolic activity. You significantly reduce the chance of getting a heart attack by regularly consuming cinnamon.

    20. Toning of tissues:

    Considerable anecdotal evidence exists to suggest that cinnamon may have the ability to tone and constrict tissues in the body.

    21. Muscle and joint pain relief:

    Those who eat cinnamon on a regular basis often report that their muscle and joint pain, as well as stiffness, is reduced or even eliminated.

    22. Immune System:

    Honey and cinnamon paste is good for boosting the immune system, removing regular fatigue and increasing the longevity of an individual. It is also known to have anti-aging properties.

    23. Itching:

    Paste of honey and cinnamon is often used to treat insect bites.

    24. It is a great source of manganese, fiber, iron, and calcium.

    25. Healing: Cinnamon helps in stopping bleeding. Therefore it facilitates the healing process.

    Indeed, cinnamon has several health benefits as highlighted above that can be used to improve one’s health and boost one’s immune system. This is a great reason to keep some cinnamon around. Sprinkle it in your tea or coffee, over oatmeal or a sweet potato and, this will do wonders to your health.

    [However, there’s a word of warning to be taken that over dosage of cinnamon may be unwise. Also it is not recommended for pregnant women.

    Also, people who have been prescribed medication to manage their blood sugar should not reduce or discontinue their dose and take cinnamon instead, especially without consulting your doctor.]

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    Source by Yasmin M Elias

    Views: 0

  • The Philosophy of the Mind, Mindset and Mentality

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    It is important for people, who are serious about reflecting on the issue of the mind and its associated issues of the body. It is defined that the basis of Philosophy of the Mind is the branch of philosophy that studies the nature of the mind (mental events, mental functions, mental properties and consciousness) and its relationship to the physical body. It intersects to some extent with the fields of neurobiology, computer science and psychology. It is also interesting, at this juncture, to evaluate an aspect of theory of mind. It is stated that 'Theory of the Mind', is the social cognitive ability to explain and predict other people's actions in terms of the fundamental mental states, such as beliefs, intentions, or feelings.

    Baron-Cohen is a Professor of Developmental Psychopathology who proposed the empathizing / systematizing theory of psychological sex differences. He emphasizes that females are more disposed to an empathizing style and males are more disposed to a systematizing style. Consciously and sub-consciously both genders progressively streamline their efforts to draw meaningful results to find out which effect is more pronounced in the daily lives of human beings. Therefore, it is logical to study the relationship of the mind and mind-set with a variance of mentality. Thus, the mentality, eventually, becomes a pivotal point either good or bad subjectively.

    All creatures are created on "The Fitrat"; It is an Arabic word and it means original creation without an analogy. It has an ingrained quality that likes truth and good. It rejects all malign and untruth until such that the arrogance and ignorance overpower the mind. The deviation has its impact, yet the 'The Fitrat' constantly reminds the human beings its repercussions. However, the human mind which is polluted with arrogance and impertinence finally leads towards disaster.

    Analyzing the above scenario, which leads to environmental forces playing a dominant role affecting human behavior. Since God has also bestowed human beings' wisdom and knowledge, hence, human has a choice to select and rejects what his mind dictates. Subsequently, it develops a mentality which suits his desires finally shaping the personality of men and women accordingly.

    A question arises about how a mind affects the personality; If so, then in what way? Again, how it shapes the mentality? Human behavior indicates that the structure of brain correlates with their activities. The brain is directly proportional to personality and it is substantiated by Collin De Young and his team at University of Minnesota. They further stated, "Experiences change the brain as it develops, and those changes in the brain can change personality."

    Dr. Daniel Siegel coined the term "mindset" to describe the human capacity to perceive the mind of the self and others. A mindset is a relationship between the mind and brain and these factors collectively evolve the mentality. It differs with every individual subject to their upbringing with respective dwellings within the parameters of cultural, social and family values.

    It is important to understand why some individuals from poor dwellings, who, after, marriage is living in economically affluent environments remain introvert and perverted. Their past still haunts their behavior which is subconsciously governed by their poor mentality. Thus, their martial, live in affluent families failed to make a dent on a positive note. Hence, the relationship within their post marital environment conspicuously shows unhappy and bickering. In many cases, it drastically affects children and relationships among respective families.

    It is said that being a poor person is not bad, but having a poor mentality is a disaster. This typical camouflage scenario will expose the truth lying beneath the façade of superficial mask. Here, those people who are responsible to adjust and maintained the situations in a harmony often failed miserably because of dubious thinking and arrogance. It is appropriate to, quote, "The mind is a beautiful servant; a dangerous master." (The source of this quote is unknown)

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    Source by Ehtesham Mirza

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  • What Can I Say To Make My Husband Understand The Pain That His Cheating Has Caused?

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    It’s very common from me to hear from wives who are struggling to explain to their husbands just how much his cheating or affair hurt them and caused them pain. But often, their husband doesn’t react in the way that they were hoping for and they are looking for a way to explain their feelings so that he actually understands them.

    I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I have repeatedly tried to explain to my husband the depth of and reasons for my pain after his infidelity, but he either doesn’t want to hear it or he’s not understanding what I’m saying. Sometimes, I pour my heart out to him and try to explain how he has hurt me and all I get is blank stare back or empty assurances that he really is trying. This is so frustrating to me because I need him to understand the extent of my pain so that I can have some reassurance that he’ll never cheat again. I want him to understand why I sometimes act in the way that I do because of what a grave mistake he has made. But part of me thinks that he’s unwilling or just incapable of hearing me. How can I explain my pain in a way that he’ll actually understand and be willing to listen?” I’ll address these concerns in the following article.

    Pick The Right Time And Know That, Once You Start Repeating Yourself, Your Words Lose Their Effectiveness: I hear from both wives who are faithful and husbands who are not on my blog and I can tell you that if you are constantly talking about your hurt and pain, eventually, even the most sincere husband will begin to tune you out. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. And husbands will often want to place their focus on moving on while the wife wants to place her focus on understanding and digging a little deeper.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband doesn’t care about your pain or just doesn’t want to hear it. But, at least sometimes, he hears your words as accusations. He might constantly hear that his selfishness and weakness has hurt you deeply and this just isn’t a message that he wants to hear on a continual basis, day after day. Men will often give comments like “she constantly wants to tell me how much the infidelity has hurt her. I do believe and understand that and I’m sorry for it. But, do I really need or have to listen to what an awful person I am every single day? How many times does she need to explain where I went wrong or how awful I am before she will feel satisfied that she’s said it enough? I tell her I’m deeply sorry. I listen. But it doesn’t seem to be enough and we repeat this process constantly.”

    I’m not telling you this to imply that you can’t regularly discuss and try to work through the infidelity. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand the obstacles that are in your way and the dynamics that are at play here. If you really want your husband to listen and to take your words to heart, then sometimes you have to pick the right time and limit the message so that it has the maximum impact.

    Consider What Your Husband Is Actually Going To Hear Before You Say The Words: I alluded to this in the previous paragraph, but sometimes the message that your husband hears has more to do with your tone and your delivery than the words that you say. So you might say something like “your infidelity has hurt me deeply. It’s made me doubt your integrity and your love and commitment to me. It’s affected my self esteem and my level of trust. And I’m not sure when things are going to get any better.”

    But what he hears is often something more in line with: “your poor decision to cheat on me has ruined my life and will probably ruin our marriage. You are an awful, selfish person with very little impulse control. And your actions have caused me so much pain that I might not ever fully recover. Because of this, I am going to feel pain and resentment every time I look at you or even think of you. And, this is going to be our lot in life from this day on because I don’t anticipate any changes.”

    These examples might seem a little extreme, but they aren’t that far off from the comments that I hear. An unfaithful husband can hear a message that you never intended. And because of this, he is often somewhat resistant to that message. Of course, the wife will often take this to mean he isn’t listening or he just doesn’t care and so she will continue to repeat herself with more feeling. And of course, this just keeps the cycle going. She doesn’t feel heard and he feels beaten down and neither person is getting what they want or need.

    If you think about it, what you probably really want is to feel heard. You want for him to know, understand, (and even feel) your pain because if he does, he’s less likely to cheat again and more likely to show the remorse that so many of us really want and need. So, think about what’s most likely to accomplish this.

    You don’t want to come across as too accusatory or too despondent because unfortunately, these things will contribute to him feeling defensive and to tuning you out. Instead, you want to use “I” phrases so that it sounds as if you’re talking responsibility for your own feelings and you’re not just trying to lay on the blame or make him feel continuously guilty for the rest of his life. And, you want to choose the time when your message is most likely to be heard. You don’t want to try to explain yourself in the middle of a fight or when you’re main goal is to hurt him. I’ve found that the message is often more likely to be heard if you say it when things are going a little more positively and both people are calm.

    An Example Of What To Say To Express The Pain His Cheating Has Caused: An example would be something like: “if this is a good time, I’d like to briefly explain how much your infidelity has hurt me. I’m not doing this to punish you or to paint you as a horrible person. I love you and don’t think you’re an awful person, but I need to feel as though you care enough to hear me. And I need to know that you truly understand so that you will hesitate to cheat again. Having someone who you love more than anything betray you in this way is something that is more devastating and hurtful than I could have ever imagined. It calls into doubt things about your marriage and yourself that are just devastating. Can you even begin to put yourself in my shoes and imagine that the rolls were reversed? Because I need to know that you understand how much pain I’m in so that we can begin to move forward once and for all. I don’t intend to keep bringing this up, but before I move on, I need to know that you truly understand.”

    Phrasing like this is much more likely to get the response and the understanding that you are after. But you can only play this card so often before your husband begins to tune you out. So once you’ve laid your cards on the table, it’s best to begin to move forward so that your husband can see that you’re sincere about not using your words to continuously punish him.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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  • The Success Avoidance Syndrom

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    Life is full of ironies and paradoxes. One of the most amazing of these is the human tendency to cry for and cling to those things that hurt them. As one notable poet put it, “people run for their chains.” Is it not amazing that people generally dislike prisons, and yet it is a known fact that many former prisoners would rather be in prison than out of it? How many people out there are clinging to and crying for relationships, and yet they fully know that those same relationships are dysfunctional and leading nowhere?

    How many companies, individuals and nations are tenaciously holding onto solutions that have passed their sale by date? How many people desire to lose weight and to be in good health, and yet daily crave for and indulge in those behaviors that negate this aim? My proposition is that there are many. Perhaps the most debilitating human condition is the success avoidance syndrome. Put simply, people have this tendency to want and wish for success, and yet simultaneously unwittingly avoid the things that make for success. They desire success but hasten their feet towards failure. Below is a synopsis of the traits of the success avoiding individual.

    o Risk Avoidance.

    Many people want to succeed in life but they are averse to risk. However, the very nature of success is that the greater the risk involved the greater the rewards. Every opportunity carries within it a certain amount of risk. To try is to risk failing; to propose is to risk being turned down; to love is to risk heartbreak; to advance is to risk repulsion and resistance; to lead is to risk criticism and being cartooned; to express yourself is to risk appearing a fool; to seek profits is to risk making losses; to put your views to the public (like I am doing now) is to risk being ridiculed; to trust people is to risk being disappointed; to be yourself is to risk being rejected; to be a copycat is to court frustration; to write an exam is to risk failure and disappointment; to communicate is to risk being misunderstood, to buy something is to risk dissatisfaction and dissonance; to get an insurance policy is to risk paying for a service that may never become necessary.

    It is true that risk is often uncomfortable. However, the alternative which is failure, frustration and underachievement is even worse. Not only is the alternative very discomfiting, but it is also painful. Any risk minimization strategy is therefore actually a success reduction mechanism. A faint heart never wins a fair lady, and there is no crown for the coward. It is that simple. The winners know that the greatest risk in life is to risk nothing. After all to be alive is to risk dying some day and we will all die, so what is the big deal?

    Before we leave the subject of risk it is important to underline that there is a big difference between taking risks and taking gambles. To gamble is to put oneself at the mercy of fate and chance. With gambling one has no influence over the outcome at all and a good example is lottery. However, when one takes risk one does not become a prisoner of fate but remains a participator in a process in which the success is not guaranteed, but the chances thereof can be influenced by one’s own decisions and actions. There is no self determination with gambling, but the risk taker retains some control.

    o Failure Avoidance

    The person obsessed with avoiding failure learns to do nothing. It is only that person that never does anything, that never makes mistakes. In truth there is no effort without shortcomings. However, action is a progenitor of success and it follows logically that the person who never engages in meaningful and serious action by this very act of omission avoids success. Activity, of course is not to be confused with progress, but there can never be progress without activity. Failure avoidance is success avoidance. Period.

    Failure avoidance is a learnt habit. Research indicates that families, companies and environments replete with criticism, cynicism, pessimism, threats of punishment and motivation by fear are a good breeding ground for failure avoiders. To the contrary affirmation, recognition, acknowledgement, praise, reward and encouragement constitute the diet of the success pursuers. Creativity and innovation cannot co-habit with fear of failure and punishment.

    The failure avoiders are regulated by their fear of failure, but the winners are inspired by their dreams. In most cases the failure avoiders keep fresh the memories of their past failures, catastrophes, fiascos and heartbreaks. Their minds are filled with imaginations of pain and failure and negative outcomes. They always fear and expect the worst. They think in terms of and look for limits, but the winner thinks in terms of and looks for opportunities.

    The loser is therefore always running away from limits, while the winner is running towards opportunity. The winner recognizes that limits and opportunities are one and the same thing. The difference lies in the eye of the beholder and how he chooses to interpret what he sees. The failure avoider sees the challenges as stumbling blocks to be avoided but the winner sees them as stepping stones to be embraced and utilized. In truth every challenge brings with it an opportunity to grow, but it is easy to miss this opportunity if one sees it as a burden, problem or disappointment.

    What have you been avoiding all your life and of late? What have you been hesitating to do? Is it a conversation, telephone call or important decision? Whatever it is, take time to reflect on whether your avoidance does not constitute success avoidance. To be continued, expect some more.

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    Source by George Chingarande

    Views: 0

  • Breaking Bad Habits – 5 Simple Steps for Changing a Habit

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    “Good habits are hard to develop but easy to live with” and “Bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with”, according to Brian Tracey, a well-known motivational teacher. You may recognize that to successfully manage habit changes, breaking bad habits may be required in order to develop new ones.

    Breaking bad habits takes at least 21 days. Of course, in difficult cases, it can take as long as a year. Here’s an example of the process of how to change an unhealthy habit to a healthy habit. Suppose you’ve decided that coffee is not good for you and right now, you drink coffee with sugar daily. The new habit you would like to institute is to drink herbal tea without sugar.

    At first, it may be challenging to break the bad habit of drinking coffee. You will have to use self-discipline for the first few weeks but gradually it will get easier. Once you are able to change the old habit to a new healthier one, it will serve you very well. Habits are remarkable because they don’t require thinking. You just “do it” for years until you find yourself changing the habit again.

    Here are 5 easy steps for changing habits:

    1. Awareness: You must become aware of your habits. What is this habit exactly? How is this bad habit or group of bad habits affecting you? How is this habit affecting others? For example, smoking often has negative effects on others as well as on you.

    2. Wanting to Change: As someone with a health problem, you must decide that breaking bad habits through a conscious effort is a worthy goal. You must convince yourself that the change in the habit is worth the effort involved.

    3. Commitment: You must be determined to do whatever it takes for breaking bad habits so that you can better control your life. You make a decision that “no matter what” you will change the habit. You do the work required to stop. Here are some examples of habits you might want to change: Smoking, eating too much, eating processed foods, not exercising, drinking coffee or other beverages with caffeine in them, eating too much sugar or fat, drinking alcohol, procrastinating, etc.

    4. Consistent Action: It is important to focus on changing just one habit at a time. Then, take consistent daily actions for breaking the bad habit that has been causing problems and take the actions to develop a new one. We suggest doing this process one step at a time rather than trying to do it all at once. Sometimes changing a habit can be done “cold turkey” like smoking and sometimes it works better to make a gradual change.

    Be sure to give yourself positive rewards often for taking small actions toward changing a bad habit. Continual day-by-day actions are what are critical. This is NOT about an occasional action or step. It is about being consistent every day.

    5. Perseverance: There will be times when you question whether it is all worth it. You’ll say to yourself that breaking these bad habits is too difficult; that you are too “weak” to change. Your old self, often so comfortable living with the bad habits, is trying to hold on. Breaking your old patterns may require meditation and prayer.

    Visualize regularly the rewards for following through and the costs of not following through on breaking the bad habits and especially the value to your future of building new better habits.

    Get support from others, especially other people who want to make changes in their lives and read about people who have been successful in breaking bad habits. Affirm that, no matter what, you will not backslide into your old bad habit patterns.

    Now, you are armed with a 5-step process for breaking any bad habit or other condition that requires changing. If you have an addiction to something such as alcohol, these steps alone may not be enough. You may require additional professional help or a support group, but for most cases this 5-step process will do the trick!

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    Source by T Mcdonald

    Views: 0

  • The Way To Success For You Now With This Easy Abundance Mindset For Living Your Dreams

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    Is success for you in life possible right now? Your life isn't really about being a competitor against others, to be fought on their terms.

    A few separate business owners can be compared for their success in the corporate world, but this doesn't really show us about their entire lives, does it?

    As you read along and ponder this article keep in mind that the Course in Miracles states, "The body's serial adventures, from the time of birth to dying are the theme of every dream the world has ever had."

    If you'll be happier, wealthier and much healthier at some point in the future, does this imply you are a failure now?

    – Success in life is about the process, not about lists of accomplishments.

    – Your individual success remains in the actions of this moment.

    – This may be a genuine originality to you, but does not it make user-friendly sense?

    If you stop working at the specific goals you are presently working on, but the attempt is honest, and you're willing to learn from your mistakes, isn't this personal success?

    The idea might be annoying for some, yet for some others the idea of ​​success being someplace in the future is simply a method to excuse the actions of the moment.

    They can continue "waiting for their ship to come in," and postpone taking the actions they need to take to fulfill themselves.

    They can keep that future in mind – and always press it a little additional forward.

    If you think like this, you may not like the idea that you can have success in life right now, because it reminds you that it is your duty.

    On the other hand, the concept of success being in this instant now can be a very liberating thought.

    Previously I discussed free material on the web such as e-books and more on manifesting your desires and the right tools for getting you to that point.

    Discover your inspiration in the work of the instant you are in now, do it honestly and with acceptance of the requirement to constantly fix course and delight in the journey, and you are successful right now.

    Exactly what do you want out of life, is it to become wealthy?

    Travel the world? Be much healthier?

    Or, is it all of the above?

    Whatever your finest course remains in life is (and this is only for you to choose), when you to begin honestly in that direction, at that precise moment you are being successful as a human being.

    Success in life is distinct and individual.

    External symptoms of success are great – money, things and chances. This internal procedure of courageously choosing the best path again and taking action is what specifies success in life.

    As I 'd said success in life can be different for few, the same for a few, and unbelievably exciting for many who dive into the process.

    Success in life is about how you go about achieving your dreams, setting goals and objectives, and how you live your life while in this world.

    Does purchase to live life to the fullest as a way to create wealth with the abundance mindset make you a successful individual?

    If you believe like this, you might not like the idea that you can be a success right now, since it advises you that it is a duty you owe to yourself.

    (Please note I suggest that you search the internet for further helpful material when looking for a few things you can do to help you succeed in life, and while you do, keep in mind that success in life is unique and personal.)

    To success and happiness in your life!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Says That I Am Too High Maintenance

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    Any complaint that causes your husband to disconnect from your marriage, to distance himself from you, or to consider a separation hurts. There is no scenario where this isn’t painful. But I suspect that it can feel a little more painful when the reason for his distance seems personal.

    What I mean by that is that sometimes, a man will be unhappy because of reasons that have to do with him. He may be having a midlife crisis. He may believe that marriage doesn’t suit his ideology. He may be having a personal crisis. I am not saying that these scenarios are not horribly painful. They are. But at least the wife has no reason to blame herself.

    And then there are the scenarios where things do feel personal. These are the instances where your husband is blaming the issues in the marriage on the wife. It could be something that she has done or something about her, about her actions, or about her personality that is the supposed problem.

    Here’s an example. A husband might tell his wife that being with her is “exhausting.” She might explain: “for the past three months or so, I have been noticing my husband acting distant and weird. I confronted him about it right away, but he denied that there was a problem. Then we were at a family gathering this weekend and it was held outside in 90 degree heat. Like everyone else, I said it was hot and wanted to leave after dinner because I felt sick. My husband got angry at me and said he was tired of dealing with my ‘high maintenance personality.’ As we were leaving, he said that being married to me is ‘exhausting’ and that he may want a separation because he can not stand living his life this way anymore. He says that nothing makes me happy and that I can’t just sit back and roll with the punches of life like a normal person. He says that I am spoiled. He says that he feels like he always has to pick up the slack. I admit that I am not as thick skinned as some when it comes to sitting in the heat all day, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. And he knew that when he married me. I told him that I could try to change and he said that people like me never change and that we are just not compatible. He says that I make him ‘feel tired’ and he doesn’t want to feel that way anymore. Where does that leave me? I don’t want to lose my husband. This really hurts my feelings and feels like a personal attack. But I could forgive it and move on if he would give me the chance. The problem is that he does not seem at all receptive to me right now.”

    I understand why you are hurt. These types of issues can feel, and sound, like a criticism. When someone tells you that you are ‘exhausting,’ that phrase makes it seem as if they no longer want to do the work to keep up with you. Of course it hurts.

    Understand The Context In Which The Comments Were Made: I think that your husband’s ‘fatigue’ might be due to the fact that the maintenance issue may have bothered him for a while, but he sat silent and said nothing – even when you asked him what was bothering him. So things built up until they exploded. His silence is not your fault. And things may have been easier now if he had addressed the problem much earlier – before he became so angry that he lashed out at you.

    Know That Context Doesn’t Mean That It Isn’t Time To Take Action: It’s normal to hope that this will blow over. And it may – for now. But any time a husband is uttering words that indicate he is tired of your marriage or thinks that there is a compatibility issue, you want to pay very close attention and you want to take action right away. I say this not to scare you, but from the concerned place of someone who was in a similar situation. I hoped for the problem to pass over, but I ultimately ending up separated. I think that I possibly could have avoided that fate by taking action at the first sign of trouble.

    Moving Forward Quickly: It’s unfortunate that your husband waited so long to share that this issue has been bothering him, but you can’t undo that at this point. What you can do, however, is be careful of what (and who) you are presenting to him moving forward. It doesn’t sound as if he has made definite plans to move out or to pursue a separation, which means that you may have some time to address this.

    Sit back and be really honest with yourself. Which of his concerns have some validity? What is he right about? Is this issue something that other friends and family members have expressed? If so, then there is nothing wrong with addressing it. Sometimes, it takes a painful situation to stimulate growth. If you take this and use it to move you forward so that you grow and improve in some way, then at least the pain will have been for something. At least you can use this as a stimulus to improve your marriage.

    If you are very honest and you find that his words do not have validity, then you may went to dig a little deeper. Sometimes, a husband will project another problem onto to what is obvious or handy. It may not have been the heat or your personality at all during that family gathering. But the situation might have given your husband an easy explanation. Sometimes, a husband can be frustrated and not quite sure why. That’s one more reason why it’s very important to be extremely observant right now – so that you are taking action on the items that are truly at issue.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • 3 Online Dating Profile Samples To Get You Noticed

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    Writing an online dating profile can be difficult for many people using a dating website. There are many generic dating examples online that sound the same. Many dating members are searching on how to write the perfect online dating profile. Here are 3 creative examples that I’ve concocted, which can inspire a single guy or single girl on any dating website!

    First Example:

    “Hello to everyone reading this! I’m new to the online dating scene and have heard good and bad things about it. I never assume anything before finding out all the facts on my own. I am newly single and want to move slowly back into dating. If you are someone who likes to take things slow and use their slow cooker, send me a message!

    “My adventurous side has me watching anything on storm watching and would love to try it with someone who knows what they are doing. It’s always great to learn new things and have a list of things I’d like to accomplish by the end of the year. It would be nice to meet someone who wants to learn new hobbies and interests from each other. I am a chef by profession and artist by the weekend. I am a self-taught artist who enjoys dabbling in paint, ceramics and anything unusual.

    “If you are a risk-taker and would like to know more, I would enjoy receiving a message from you. Tell me what you find risky. Have a creative week and watch out for that storm!”

    Second Example:

    “I really don’t want to bore you to tears by writing about what a great catch I am. I’m sure you’ve read many dating profiles that have told you they are perfect for you! I’ve always believed that actions speak louder than words don’t you think? It would be great to meet face to face for coffee and see where it goes from there.

    “I’m not scared to let you know that I have flaws. I’m a perfectionist and can use a whole package of good paper trying to handwrite something. With the internet world taking over, it’s nice to write an actual handwritten letter to family and friends. I know that recycling is huge so don’t worry, I do use the paper I’ve scrapped for other things! You would think because I’m a perfectionist that I have the perfect job. That, I have not perfected yet. I’m still looking for my true calling and am taking part-time classes at the University after work.

    “If you are honest and are looking to meet someone for casual dating, make sure to email me. I am looking to date but if it leads to something more, it’s always a good thing. Don’t forget to tell me something about yourself!”

    Third Example:

    “I’m a person who enjoys meeting new people all the time. I love to socialize, embrace life and am a lot of fun if I say so myself! Online dating has been quite the adventure and I am still looking for that special someone. If you are looking for someone genuine, I’m your man! I don’t have patience for people who pretend to be something they are not.

    “I’m honest, forgiving and love to laugh. If you can make me laugh, I would be interested in speaking to you. There are too many people who take life seriously and don’t make time to enjoy the finest pleasures. That would include taking in the outdoors, sitting in front of a fireplace and eating gummy worms on a regular basis for me!

    “Tell me what your idea of having fun is. I enjoy the weekends out when I am not working in the week and would love to have someone accompany me. It could be an evening of taking in the local comedy scene or local bands. Drop me an email and we’ll chat soon!”

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    Source by Yaro Babiy

    Views: 0