Category: Lifestyle

  • Can You Control Your Emotions and Discipline Them?

    Can You Control Your Emotions and Discipline Them?

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    Emotions are of two types; Positive and Negative emotions. Every negative incident has a positive intent, if complaint is a gift then negative emotion is also a gift and every gift doesn’t come wrapped in your way, it means there is something positive in every negative incident which you need to find it as only gifts are not beautifully wrapped for you but the negative emotions and incidents do also wrap in a gift box for you but what you need to do is to find the positive side of it.

    Your performance is always based on the emotions you have, you will always deliver the same level of performance if you are operating in the average level of emotion, if you manage to shift from the negative emotion to positive one, you will get a raise in level too and also increase your potential to even work harder and achieve what you think was impossible for you before.

    Your skill set will be perfect if your mindset is working perfect, it is a believe shifting exercise, taking an example of a tree, if the roots (mindset) will be strong then the tree blossom (skill set) to its greater extent and on the other hand if the roots are weak then you won’t get anything from the tree other than a withering look. It is really important to focus on the mindset to take advantage of the skill set. You need to redevelop and reorient your mindset, rethink your emotions, rebirth and reinvent are the most important aspect in the emotions if you are facing failure.

    As mentioned before that every negative emotion has a positive intent likewise every emotion has a message but it is not openly available or easy to get it, you have to be enough capacity to get your message from your emotion. You can easily do it by thinking about your current emotion and write down on the paper the 3 most important messages you can conclude from your emotion, this is actually the best way to understand your emotion and get powerful ideas to discipline them in a better way. The faster you can find your message from within your emotion, the quicker you will cross the bridge of your obstacles which leads you to the ultimate success.

    The last but not least, an action plan is mandatory for a success. How can you manage your action plan? The answer is very simple, you were working to control and discipline your emotions but now you need to work on the shifting of mind to actually implement the action plan and completely change the situation you were in. The situations could be anything such as tragedy, accidents, failure, defame etc. You need to work on the motions to control the emotions and once you are successful in that, you will feel a great change in your emotions and a great shift from negative to positive would there for you as a result of your hard work.

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    Source by Muqtada Khalid

    Views: 0

  • Marital Affairs And Your Karma

    Marital Affairs And Your Karma

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    Two people can be mutually attracted to one another, only if there was some relationship between them in some previous life. When you meet a person, to whom you were related in a previous life, the stored memories or the Runanubhandhana stir up your emotions and you may start “feeling” for the person. Every longstanding relationship leads to certain deep impressions. Any act when done repeatedly can become a habit. Every habit leaves an impression. These impressions are the Samskaras, which drive us to act again. But if we have no more debt (runa) with the other person, it just remains a fleeting thought, an impulse only.

    Sometimes even though the karmic debt is discharged, the old Samskaras (impressions of past acts) can generate an irresistible inner urge to enter into a relationship. We eventually end up creating a fresh account, a further karmic debt that is not advisable. But if there is undischarged karmic debt, it results in a relationship naturally. When the karmic accounts are settled, once there is no more debt, the relationship ends. But if the Runanubhandhana is very strong, it results in a long-standing relationship like marriage.

    This is the cause of every relationship, how it is born and how it ends. But nothing is permanent. No karmic debt can be everlasting. Eventually it has to end when the debt is discharged, when the account is balanced. In this impermanent world change is the law of life. Countless wombs have we passed through. Innumerable mothers, fathers, spouses and children have we been with. It is hard to interact with another being who has not been a parent, brother, sister, spouse, child, friend or associate in some other life. But when a karmic debt is over, the attachment might still be there. We still cling on. When rna (debt) is over, the relationship has to end, but anubandhana (bondage or attachment) might still make us cling to the person. Like the fan that turns for a while even after the power supply has been switched off, the attachment doesn’t die for some time. Once the runa is over, nothing can sustain the relationship. Hence any further remnants of attachment (anubandhana) are bound to produce only suffering and misery.

    In some cases, one of the two people involved grows out of the relationship once the runa (debt) is discharged. But the other refuses to move on, due to the attachment (anubandhana). The second person suffers tremendously because any further attachment leads to misery and suffering only. Sometimes there is bitterness also after separation. This bitterness can sow the seeds for future karma! When the karmic debts are over, when a couple has to part ways, as far as possible, it should be done with the least negative feelings. They should part in an amicable way to avoid further seeds of new karma, which is easier said than done.

    The karma that brings two people together into marriage can also be of many types.

    1. Bitter enemies can be born as husband and wife, and always fight, criticize, deceive one another and make each other’s lives miserable.
    2. Two people who have created negative karma between them come back as man and wife, and lead a life of suffering together, fighting with one another.
    3. Two people who have created both positive and negative karma between them come back as man and wife, and have a mixed life causing both happiness and unhappiness to one another.
    4. Two people who have created positive karma between them in previous lives come back as man and wife and lead a relatively happy life.
    5. One who has taken a lot in some life has to give in the present life. In such a case, one of them will always be giving (money, love, care, etc.) and the other receiving.
    6. Two souls who are evolving spiritually come as husband and wife, help each other in their evolution and benefit one another. This is the purpose of marriage.
    7. A couple who has been husband and wife may come back as husband and wife again, if their Runanubhandhana is very strong. If the Runanubhandhana is very strong and their destinies (lives) are so strongly interlinked, usually both die almost at the same time. If one dies first, generally the other also dies within a few hours or days or weeks. The souls are so strongly identified with one another that towards the end of a successful married life, they behave as if they are one.
    8. Sometimes (rarely) a very highly evolved being or soul, or spirit or even an avatar is born as two people to accomplish a mission. After the accomplishment of the mission, they merge back into one. Though very rare, such a divine couple can take birth at times. Such a high soul may be born as two separate individuals as husband and wife, brothers, guru and disciple, etc.

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    Source by Diwakar Vashist

    Views: 0

  • HIV Dating Site Profiles – Five Valuable Tips You Needs To Consider

    HIV Dating Site Profiles – Five Valuable Tips You Needs To Consider

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    It will be easier they obtain the wrong understanding of you. Here’s a month-by-month search the rearview mirror at AIDS in DC. It comes with more than 10,000 people Washington State living with HIV.

    No one person’s life runs completely smoothly at some time our lives, things become difficult and difficult to bear. This is at that time when most of us turn to others seeking some support and getting a grasp on. Should one of the crosses to deal with be coping with AIDS or HIV than not only is this support of value, but it may well also bring a whole new meaning for life. The actual reason being especially so when the HIV support stems from a supply of knowledge, truth and complete understanding.

    Many individuals with HIV or AIDS have managed to branch out and date people that don’t also possess disease. The herpes virus can be passed through either blood or sexual fluids, so doable! Greatly solve your risk of spreading flu citrus by just taking vital precautions. Are usually keep your physical romance to simply kissing, there isn’t a risk whatsoever. Condoms are a great option for people who wish to get more involved with another without worrying about disease smeared. Check out the HIV dating sites.

    The Internet has connected people from all of over disease. It currently is possible to meet up with someone within the country or even just across your city with the click of the handle. When you join a world-wide-web dating site for along with HIV happen to be not limited to meeting locals you’re the area. You can meet people from anywhere. The thing about produce is people today you meet already know you are HIV positive. Your biggest fear is already conquered.

    When you see real love, it is easy to feel ready to get on the world. Really loving someone means loving them for who they are and accepting the whole life.

    Is meeting real people today value $five – $ten a month? How considerably is invested heading to be able to bars fulfilling people? And in case a person is spending, aren’t they significant about meeting a buyer?

    A further decision to make is getting in touch with join an absolutely free or a paying membership site. Free websites do not usually possess any advanced features and may necessitate an individual essentially pay before purchase access emails etc. Paid HIV dating sites will have better security as perform not let the entire internet to examine your data. Check out features of sites to unearth one particular fit you’ve.

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    Source by Dinah Taylor

    Views: 0

  • Why You Must Not Marry

    Why You Must Not Marry

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    People have gotten into marriage for the wrong reasons and mind set, they cloud their mind with superficial reasons leaving the important issues why they should not marry in the first place untouched. Below are ten reasons why you must not marry. please read along and be blessed.

    1. You must not marry out of lust. People have married out of lust but later found out that all that glitters is not gold. The beauty or ugliness of people is not to be measured from without but from what issues from the inside of them. The content of an individual is to be weighed above his or her container.

    2. You must not marry out of sympathy or pity. Feeling guilty or sympathy for any reason about someone’s misfortunes and deciding to marry them as a consolation is a wrong decision. For every Jack there is a Jill. God is able to give them a help that meet their situation. He gives a guide to the blind, a nurse to the feeble and a comforter to the heart broken.

    3. Do not be manipulated through match making. Nobody knows you like your God and his timing and choice is best for you. He knows your temperaments, strength and weakness. God know the help whom He had created to meet your specification. Indeed nobody knows the product like the manufacturer. God must be involved in the choice we make.

    4. You must not be pressurized to marry. Pressure comes from peers and family. Non in this group can absolutely quantify the pain and heart breaks their loved ones experience in marriage, they can only imagine. Imaginations are not good enough to right wrongs in a bad relationship. When the problems become overwhelming they will abandon you.

    5. Do not be prophesied into marriage. Any prophecy is subject to your confirmation. You are not responsible for what God had not told you. God is not a respecter of any man. He is able to tell you what He told someone about you. Learn to hear God yourself.

    6. You must not rush into marriage. Give it some time. Time reveals secrets, time is a healer of wounds, and time will reassure you of your decision.

    7. You are not convinced. Marriage is a journey of a life time. You need to be convinced beyond all doubts that you are ready to go the mile. To save your self the heartache, you must take into cognizance that a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. Take time to do your checks and be convinced.

    8. He or she doesn’t respect you. By respect I also mean not valuing your self worth. A relationship like that has a tendency of abuse and violation of your rights, privileges and that of your relatives. You have no business with someone whom you cannot respect or does not respect you.

    9. He or she does not share your religious beliefs. Your religious believe is the center and the pivot that your entire life revolves around. Agreeing to marry some persons with a divergent view is seeking calmness in a chaotic atmosphere. Two people cannot walk together except they agree on core issues like their faith and believes.

    10. Identity issues. We are identified by our looks, vocation, character and associations. You must be able to have the foresight of looking into the future to see if you will want to be identified with this person in years to come. Marriage gives you identity because the two of you becomes one.

    I am sure these will serve as a check list for someone out there that is getting into a relationship or is planning to take his or her relationship to the next level (marriage). Do the check list and let God give you the peace.

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    Source by Dan Williams

    Views: 0

  • 9 Questions To Ask Before Marriage To Reduce The Risk Of Divorce

    9 Questions To Ask Before Marriage To Reduce The Risk Of Divorce

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    Love with your heart, but think with your mind and keep your eyes open love was never meant to be blind and foolish. Let's get into the most important 9 questions you need to ask before you walk down the aisle.

    1. What does marriage mean to you and your fiancé? This question helps you understand the basic concept you and your fiancé have of marriage. Being a wife or husband is like being partners of a start-up company. If both partners have very different views of what this means the marriage will never be managed effectively.

    2. What does the marriage look like to you and your fiancé? You are deep in love and have a picture in mind of what the marriage will look like 5, 10 and 25 plus years down the road. Your fiancé also has expectation of what the marriage will look like and how it will function. These expectations may be quite different so get them clear early on.

    3. Why did you fall in love? This needs to be clear as well especially when the storms and challenges come. You need to always have this beautiful story to reflect on and help refocus your feelings.

    4. What is your purpose in the marriage? Getting married is more about what you bring to the relationship than what you can get from it. There is a very specific set of reasons that make you the best person for your spouse. You need to know how being you and fulfilling your potential will add tremendous value to your spouse.

    5. What is the purpose of your spouse as a partner? No matter how well together you believe you are, your spouse also has value to add that will make you a better person.

    6. Who are you as a unique person? People get lost in relationships because they lose sight of who they are. You need to take time to figure out who you are before trying to become one with someone else.

    7. Who is your fiancé as a different unique person? Apart from appreciating who you are as a unique person you need to appreciate the uniqueness of your fiancé as well.

    8. What problems have you already noticed? Love is not blind; love sees the best and minimises the worst. Love lets you know that the issues did not stop you from falling in love. You still need to acknowledge the issues and bring them to the light.

    9. What are the expectations you have for your life? Frustration comes when expectations are not met. In marriage you are likely to blame your spouse when these are not met. Your life expectations need to be measured against what you and your fiancé agree on for the marriage.

    Taking time to answer these 9 simple questions can save you from the pitfalls that have wrecked many couples. Reduce the risk of divorce by spending more time on questions like these and less on questions about the color of bridesmaid dresses, menus and flowers.

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    Source by Kerwyn Joseph

    Views: 0

  • Yoonla – Digital Lifestyle Business – Is It Any Good? Quick Review

    Yoonla – Digital Lifestyle Business – Is It Any Good? Quick Review

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    This is a quick review of the Yoonla online digital lifestyle business created by Reno Van Boven. All of the information provided is from my personal experience of trying the business in which I aim to provide a honest perspective on Yoonla & in what this entails for you.

    This article is not meant to get all technical & confusing for those reading or interested in becoming digital marketing professionals so I try to keep the wording as simple as possible.

    There are 2 types of accounts:

    1) Free- pretty easy to create (like creating an email or Facebook account but can’t make money… YET TILL YOU UPGRADE TO…

    2) Elite- this is where you really start earning money. Once you followed the 7 steps of creating your elite account (all the hard part is done by Yoonla) & upgraded to elite; you are on your way to earning well. Mind you, you do have to upgrade to elite to get all the benefits of this program. You are wondering how much. It is only $50-$70 dollars to start earning commissions on a regular & consistent basis. But THIS IS WELL WORTH IT!

    Once you upgraded to elite, you can get to earning by getting people to sign-up under you. There are 2 tiers of making money from Yoonla- let me briefly explain tier 1:

    1) You get $4 for every free account that signs up under you from English speaking countries (UK, USA, New Zealand etc)

    2) You get $2 from people in non-English countries (Spain, Brazil, China)

    Tier 2 is where it gets all exciting… for every person who upgrades to the elite account under you (you the SPONSOR) you get $30 commission for each person.

    The reason I enjoy this program is the fact that its WORLDWIDE… anyone can make money from this. Male or female, rich or poor. This program does not discriminate which is reason why I recommend people to upgrade as soon as possible. The price for starting the elite account will be recovered as soon as you get people to sign up under you.

    All payments are done by PayPal so all the commissions will be sent to your PayPal account. And you get paid once a month. Consider this as a lump sum of money.

    This business is a slow build- don’t expect to earn $10,000 in a month straight away like you hear in some videos or personal stories. 95% of the time they did not earn it like they say & if they did; they are only the few out of hundred thousands to do this. Simply, just because you started your business does not make you entitled to earn huge sums of money. In hearing some of Yoonla stories, most people do not make serious money till 5-6 months later on down the line.

    This is where you have to put the hard work to get to this stage in the first place. If you’re interested in learning how do this as soon as possible, leave a comment.

    Thank you for reading.

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    Source by Zhane Kelly

    Views: 0

  • Find Your Success Sweet Spot!

    Find Your Success Sweet Spot!

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    Most people don’t show anyone their scars and bruises or share their “up to their eyeballs in the dirty stuff”, real and RAW stories of what the journey to success is sometimes like.

    They usually reveal the rainbows and glitz of it instead.

    The pretty and SHINY version.

    When only the SHINY and glammed-up version, smelling like roses is revealed it seems off and PHONEY, like they’re disingenuous or hiding something.

    And truth is an empowering act — because the Universe only works in the truth of the matter. So, while someone only shows mostly pretty and SHINY stuff she/he has one foot in a false reality and the other foot in some of the truth. The Universe only works in the truth of all matters. Truth be known the Universe led you to speak to this person because she/he has been through what you are struggling with and would share their solution, if she/he knew the truth of what you are experiencing.

    That aside, Success comes wrapped up in something called ‘WORK’.

    Are you resisting the idea of HARD work in your business or career?

    The “Law of Attraction” doesn’t mean that successful people are sitting behind a mahogany desk all day and aren’t PUSHING themselves, breaking a sweat or putting out fires.

    And when you resist HARD work you are keeping yourself from LEANING in and getting the dirty work done.

    Are you believing the pretty and SHINY version of the Law of Attraction – that successful people had some lucky break or were especially talented or gifted in some magical way and were somehow omitted from the heavy TASK of working?

    If so, accept my empathy for the misinformation!

    You can decide to make a change and get to work and commit to your success no matter how difficult or afraid of failing you are, and no matter what – LEAN in and figure it out you need to do. You can adopts a ‘Do or die mode. Beast mode’.

    That’s the real secret to success.

    A persistent “I will figure it out AND WIN no matter what” attitude.

    Frequently for some wild reason past clients came out of the woodwork and leave me beautiful grateful email messages and Facebook messages about their success BEYOND working with (some are clients who are from a year or two ago). I treasure each one as if it was the only grateful message I received.

    I won’t mislead you that all people show up to work with a committed “all-in” attitude. Many have bought into the ‘secret’ as a magic fix. They are sorely disillusioned when they didn’t create their magical success. Then, I am the one to dispel the myth. I need to help them to Turn On, Tune In and Tap In to the depths of their strength and courage to persevere and do the HARD work.

    Somewhere hidden in the recesses of your “contract” is an often overlooked fine-print statement that is quite easily forgotten: The party of the first part (you) to the party of the second part (the Universe), you hereby agree that according to the messages you send out to the Universe, so you shall reap.” This phenomenon is written in the Bible, Galatians VI (King James Version), “Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”

    Did you know that every person who has created financial freedom has one or more mentors. Ask Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Sir Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Madam C. J. Walker, first female, self-made millionaire, other self-made female millionaires–Meg Whitman, former eBay owner, first CEO for a hi-tech company, Hewlett-Packard, Beyoncé Knowles, pop singer, Danielle Steele, romance author, Taylor Swift, singer/songwriter, Diane von Furstenberg, clothes designer, and Judge, Judy Shiendlin, TV personality.

    Together, we developed a plan, and they fought their own demons and WON.

    They strapped their grown-up shoes on when the going got hard, leaned in and embraced new ways of being, discovered new found confidence, stepped beyond their comfort zone, and WON.

    And they keep on winning long after their initial mentoring work is over.

    Anyway…

    If you’re interested in doing the work and committing to your success (because there is no success without commitment) book a call and allow me to assist you to create your success and Financial Freedom.

    Don’t wait. Book a call http://drdorothy.net and get your business or career rocking TODAY!

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    Source by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

    Views: 0

  • Manana Habit – How to Get Rid of It

    Manana Habit – How to Get Rid of It

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    When at work, at home or in circumstances wherein you can finish tasks do you always say later or tomorrow? In Philippine tongue do you always say “mamaya na, bukas na lang” or anything like it? Do you often place your primary chores second only to doing nothing, dilly-dallying, watching movies, playing games or just idling around only to discover that you need to rush things to catch up on works you have not yet finished? If you are experiencing this then you my friend, are one of the individuals of the thousands of people afflicted by the so-called manana habit syndrome or let’s term it “procrastination virus”, it is actually one of the biggest reason for loss of productivity and late output that could hinder financial or personal growth.

    This procrastination virus does not just affect Filipinos contrary to Filipinos beliefs which have been carved into our thinking by fellow countrymen that this habit is only found in the Philippines. They would often say “if you go to America, Japan, Korea and etc. you will find them always on time” is this true? I guess not. Actually this procrastination virus is found globally and no one is safe unless one fully protects himself and gets rid of this bad virus.

    For lots of people, saving up their tasks for later is more habit than desire. It is difficult to start in a timely fashion especially if the penalties for being late are things that one can probably bear. If you belong to this kinds of people as i am yet you desire to shake off your propensity for procrastination then you visited the right article. Here are few tips to help you overcome this dilemma and develop to more productive and reliable individual.

    1. Plan your schedules – It is advisable to list your schedules and activities based on priority. This will help you accurately plan your schedule and resources. An organizer or calendar of events will help you prepare and schedule your task so that you can begin them at once and finish them on timely manner and have quality output.

    2. Save leisure activities for later – If you procrastinate do it positively, apply it in your leisure activities. Many people leave their work off for later saying, ” I have lots of time anyway, I’ll just have a little fun then make it up later” While it is good to have fun sometimes overdoing it makes you vulnerable to rush attacks. Is it not good to have fun after accomplishing your tasks?

    3. Don’t Underestimate Your Tasks – occasionally procrastination sets in because people underestimate the resources, difficulty, and time spent for an individual task. They would usually say, “The job is easy I can finish that within an hour” The problem is there are always chances they can’t, no matter how easy or difficult a task is, it would still take time and resources to accomplish it. If you underestimate a task you will most likely set too little time to do it.

    Lastly don’t allow yourself to be too comfortable doing nothing; it will help if you reserved your subconscious alarm each time you are doing nothing. Get this alarm to remind you of things that may need to be completed. This will help you nurture the idea that jobs accomplished promptly means extra time for relaxation soon after. However, even if this is the issue, always remember to leave enough time for rest as this always help you to think and work in full capacity. The trick here is not to overdo your rest. There is time for rest and there is time for leisure.

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    Source by Robert Pepoa

    Views: 0

  • Love Is Not

    Love Is Not

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    Valentine’s week is focused on multiple ways of showing others that one cares for or is in love with them. Hearts, flowers, candy and trinkets are given as symbols of devotion but not all are done with the right motives or with healthy commitment.

    We all think that we know what love is but then act in ways that do not match our words. Here are some of things to consider:

    Love is not:

    1. Giving someone everything that they want because by doing so you believe they will change for good. Frequently clients have told me that they felt giving money to wayward teens would encourage them to come home. Not! People usually do what they want and cannot be bribed or coerced into doing what others want.
    2. Ignoring issues and crossing fingers that they will resolve themselves. Not talking means not dealing with things and past behaviors are usually a predictor of future behaviours. Wishing and hoping isn’t the same as resolving.
    3. Accepting abusive behaviors. We teach people how to treat us. If you have been abused and you accept a hurried insincere apology you will likely become caught in a cycle of abuse followed by apology followed by abuse.
    4. Time served. Just because you have been in relationship with someone for a period of time doesn’t mean that you are healthy, safe or secure.
    5. Keeping secrets. The underlying foundation of trouble is built with dishonesty and hidden actions. If you need to keep something secret that means that deep down you already know that you are up to “no good”.
    6. Blaming others rather than facing your own failings. Most people do not want to look in a mirror that shows their own flaws. Instead they point the finger and distract the conversation by focusing on another person.
    7. Demanding information about private matters. When adult children want to know details about the will of their aging parents, they can present as entitled and inappropriate. An attitude of “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine too” can destroy relationships!
    8. Vengeance for past hurts or failures. Hurting others is not a good response for those who have been hurt. Focus on healing instead of on trying to get even.
    9. Enabling. There is a show on television that shows individuals who weigh over 600 pounds. Those who purchase the food for the one who becomes immobile or bed-ridden end up having to care for the obese person. When you enable someone, both of you pay a price for this.
    10. Playing games with emotions. Sweet talk, false promises and cheating can be very hurtful. Stop it!

    When it comes to being a Valentine it is important not just to think about the other person. Instead examine when and how you show your love. Are your words and actions healthy or are you in an acting role that considers only your own selfish needs and wants?

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    Source by Linda Hancock

    Views: 0

  • It Appears That My Husband Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With Me After His Affair

    It Appears That My Husband Doesn’t Want To Have Sex With Me After His Affair

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    I sometimes hear from wives who are devastated not only by their husband’s cheating or affair, but also by the loss of intimacy and physical contact. For whatever reason, sex has been taken off the table. So at a time when a wife is already hurt and confused, she’s now struggling with the fact that she can’t have the reassurance of being intimate. This leaves her wondering whether her husband is still attracted to her sexually and whether or not her marriage will be able to recover.

    She might say, “my husband had an affair about two months ago. At first, I would not even speak to him. Eventually, I allowed him to come and see the kids, and little by little, we began talking again. I can tell that he feels very guilty and embarrassed. He goes out of his way to be accommodating and kind to me. He has told me that although he’d like to stay married and that he would never cheat on me again, he can’t ask me to stay with him because he doesn’t know if he could stay with me if I cheated. He is basically saying that he wouldn’t blame me if I refused to take him back. I’ve told him that I’m going to take my time in making a decision. But up until this week, I truly was considering it. However, last weekend, the kids and I watched a movie with my husband and they fell asleep. My husband and I ended up talking and laughing. One thing lead to another and before long we were kissing. When things were about to get intimate, my husband pulled away and said ‘I just can’t have sex with you right now.’ I was stunned, so I asked, ‘you can’t or you won’t?’ He got up and said ‘I just can’t. I’m sorry.’ I have no idea what to make of this. I have tried to ask him about this, but he always changes the subject. Is he not attracted to me? Can he not physically complete the task because of the affair? I want to save my marriage, but I also want to have a healthy sex life again one day. Why would a man not be able to have sex with his wife after the affair?”

    I can’t speak for your husband, but I’d suspect that it wasn’t that he couldn’t have sex with you. I suspect that he could have completed the task if he had felt right about it. However, many men have quite a bit of guilt and shame after the affair. So they know that having sex again might create a good deal of awkwardness and negative feelings. On the one hand, they may very much want to have sex with you. But they are ashamed of this desire since they feel that they don’t have any right to ask this of you. Plus, they know that when you disrobe and begin to have sex, you might both be caught up in thoughts of him having sex with someone else, since that wound is so fresh. The thought of this might terrify him. And he might figure that it’s better to just wait to have sex than to try it now and have it be a disaster. Also, he may not want for it to look like he’s only interested in sex with you when he doesn’t really deserve it.

    I know that this is painful and may feel like a rejection, but let’s look at the facts. Your husband and yourself were having a nice, light-hearted time laughing together. He was clearly into it when he was kissing you. And then something changed. Since he’s told you that he’d like to save your marriage, I highly doubt that he’s not attracted to you. In fact, I’m sure it was tempting to have sex. However, he was probably trying to avoid a potentially embarrassing or awkward encounter. And perhaps he didn’t want for you to feel taken advantage of in the morning or he did not want for you to feel guilty.

    Many couples delay sex after an affair for a couple of different reasons. They want to make sure that it is the right time. They do not want to rush into it and potentially make bigger problems than they already had. Many know that if the sex was awkward and just not good then they would take that to mean that their marriage was doomed. So they wait until they are sure that it will be right, because they know that they are going to analyze it.

    Your husband could have the same thought process. He may want to wait until you’re both sure that it’s the right time. He may not want to look like the creep who is pressuring his wife to have sex after his affair. And he probably knows that you might both have thoughts of the affair during sex. All these reasons are why it can truly make sense to wait.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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