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Category: Lifestyle

  • Bullying Tactics of the Australian Government Over Gay Marriage

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    To say that most Australians are underwhelmed and disgusted by the latest move on the part of the Federal Government is an understatement. Most are just stunned by the hate it expresses towards gay people and the wriggle tactics it is using to avoid resolving the most important question at the moment. Now it has declared there will be a postal ballot to decide the issue of gay marriage.

    If that doesn’t take one’s breathe away nothing will. Already there are so many cracks in it that the quality of such a move is about as good as a wet cigarette. Many people in remote areas of Australia do not have a postal box because they don’t engage in that type of correspondence.

    Aside from the many issues that people have for or against the government’s decision there are so many other factors that come into play. We have a big multicultural community with people from many religiously focused countries, such as the Muslims and Catholics. That would mean that their attitude could be greatly against such a move.

    There is also the question of whether or not people will even care to return their votes. Many are already stating they won’t, and I personally feel the same way. Now there is a challenge to the High Court, lodged by a Tasmanian Senator, Andrew Wilkie, and highly supported by others, including a former judge of that institution.

    The cost of this tom-foolery is some 170 million dollars. Before one chokes on their biscuit they need to also know that this government has squeezed every cent they can from the poorest of the country. Unemployment and other social security measures have been so reduced that many are living well below the poverty line.

    Their excuse is because the budget is in so much debt that by taxing the lowest paid more and reducing welfare, as well as altering the Medicare system to save more money, they had to exercise these measures. As soon as one takes them to task over the mismanagement and bullying that is going on they instantly blame the Opposition.

    While this is called the lucky country it is also one that has apparently lost its way through the dictatorship and bull-headedness of government members. There have been some bad Prime Ministers and governments in the past but right now they look like mavericks compared to today’s effort.

    While come 26 countries have already passed laws allowing gay marriage the outright block to it in this one is unforgivable and based on religious ignorance.

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    Source by Norma Holt

    Views: 0

  • Explore a Luxurious Lifestyle With Flats in North Kolkata

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    North Kolkata and luxurious lifestyle? They are not quite synonymous to each other, right? Are you sure about this outlook? Well, the reality is based on a different story altogether.

    North Kolkata essentially represents the vintage charm of the city. There is something unique about the region. While walking down the lanes of this region, you'll come across homes which were built during the British era or even before. The lanes are narrow where you'll find children indulging in playing 'gully cricket'. You'll come across the traditional shops selling fried eatables or as the Bengalis call it 'Tele Bhaja' along with some iconic sweet shops. However, luxurious lifestyle calls much more than such features. It calls for modern features that will upgrade your living standards and simplify it as well.

    Hence, things are changing for North Kolkata. The small shops, old vintage houses and narrow lanes are getting replaced by contemporary facilities and modern living spaces. However, does that mean this place will provide you with a luxurious lifestyle? Let's delve into the blog to familiarize with the truth.

    Luxury Living & North Kolkata- Do they Go Hand-in-Hand?

    Modern Residential Projects: Luxury starts with residential complexes defined by opulence and style. The housing complexes in North Kolkata will provide you the same. Most of the projects in this region are stunning defined by comfort, luxury and modern-day conveniences under one roof. The residential complexes are wrapped in the pure essence of nature backed by modern features, bringing you the best of both worlds.

    Most of the projects are spread across a huge acre of land with 60-70% open spaces defined by lush green foliage. Such projects also consist of landscaped gardens, ponds, pocket gardens, children's park and the likes to provide one with well-rounded lifestyle amidst a stunning milieu.

    Upgraded Living Spaces: With modern housing complexes, you'll also get the advantage to live in fine living spaces which will essentially improve your living standards. Constructed using cutting edge technology, the projects consists of comfort packed rooms, quality apartment specifications (like bathroom & kitchen fixtures) and an amazing city view. What's more? The modern luxury apartments in North Kolkata are open on 3-4 sides and are Vaastu compliant, thus bringing comfort and good vibes in your new home. Some projects will also provide you with duplex living spaces within a price range of 30 lakhs to 40 lakhs. Isn't that incredible?

    Excellent Amenities & Facilities: In today's world, it is mandatory for a residential complex to provide the residents with a remarkable set of amenities and facilities. Understanding the significance of the same, the developers are making sure to provide the residential complexes with clubhouse amenities and residential project facilities that will enhance the living standards a step further. Luxuriate with residential complexes in North Kolkata consisting of features like:

    • Rooftop swimming pool.

    • Adda Room

    • Pool Table

    • Modern Gymnasium

    • A Multi-Purpose Grass Court.

    • Landscaped Green Areas

    • Reflexology Park, etc.

    Apart from these three primary features, connectivity quotient in North Kolkata has improved as well. The region has seen an increase in local train routes, buses, auto-rickshaws, call cabs and even metro links, easier simplifying the daily task of traveling to various parts of the city. For example, if you buy flats in Barasat, you'll stay considerably close to the airport, local railway stations and upcoming metro link for an easy traveling affair.

    With connectivity, the region has also seen an improvement in commercial facilities. The region now consists of popular schools, health care centers, malls, departmental stores, entertainment zones, etc., thus meeting your requirement for a well-rounded lifestyle.

    Hence, does luxurious lifestyle and North Kolkata goes hand in hand? We can say without any second thought they do go hand in hand. Hence, North Kolkata is becoming a hub of high end residential projects to provide you with a posh living standard. Are you planning to buy a new home? Why don't you check out the residential complexes in this region? Your dream home is probably hidden here.

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    Source by Jems Hug

    Views: 0

  • Why Goodwill Is Vital to Success

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    When I originally got the idea for this blog entry, I was thinking in terms of success in business, as a result of three lackluster experiences I recently had with customer service at three different businesses. Then, when I sat down to write about it, I soon realized that goodwill is vital to all areas of life.

    Goodwill is similar to integrity in that in takes time to develop but can be lost in an instant. As my cousin says, “Goodwill is a byproduct of doing the right thing.” Webster’s dictionary defines goodwill as “a kindly feeling of approval and support: benevolent interest or concern.”

    This definition makes clear that whether it is with your business associates, teammates, coaches, or bosses, or in your interpersonal relationships, without goodwill it is difficult to get beyond a surface level with any of them.

    In today’s ultracompetitive world everything that gives you a leg up on the competition makes your success more likely. As successful businessman Marshall Field was fond of saying, “Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy.”

    Each of the three companies from whom I experienced poor customer service developed varying degrees of goodwill – mostly negative – from me. The one that earned the most goodwill eventually offered me an acceptable solution and I am still doing business with them (though on a more cautious basis now).

    One of the other two offered worthless suggestions, compounding my initial frustration. The last one had a website that failed repeatedly to send my complaints and was unresponsive to the ones that did go through. Needless to say, it would have taken a lot of goodwill to overcome these slights and I decided to close both of those accounts.

    One of the quickest ways to earn goodwill is to exceed expectations. Here’s a recent example of a business that engendered massive amounts of goodwill from me. I ordered a supplement and a few weeks after receiving my order I received another package from them with a new bottle of what I had previously ordered and the following note enclosed:

    “I want to take a moment to thank you for your recent purchase. As a token of our appreciation we sent you your next bottle free of charge. You will not be charged for this bottle and are not signed up to an auto-ship program of any kind. We just wanted to say a quick hello and thank you”

    -Greg, Founder of Weyland Brain Nutrition

    Not only did they send me my next bottle free of charge, they also enclosed a bottle of another product for me to try. I have since recommended them to several of my clients and am now a devoted customer.

    The same phenomenon happens in our interpersonal relationships. When you go the extra mile for a co-worker, boss, friend, lover, coach or teammate, you engender goodwill and strengthen your bond with them. This in turn will lead to greater trust and loyalty, thus opening the door to greater possibilities for the relationship.

    Most people want to stand out from the crowd and are frustrated when they don’t. I like to tell my clients that if you don’t like being stuck in the crowd, go the extra mile; it’s never crowded there. It’s a simple recipe for success that is often neglected by the masses and will also go a long way towards engendering plenty of goodwill from others.

    You can follow Sam on Twitter @SuperTaoInc

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    Source by Sam Obitz

    Views: 0

  • Compulsive Skin Picking: Habit Reversal Training

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    Often people are seen picking at scabs, blemishes or dry skin. However, there is another form of picking that adopts a more sinister obsessive nature — one that results in not being able to resist the urge or need to pick at certain parts of the skin. This condition is medically known as Dermatillomania or Compulsive Skin Picking (CSP). Only recently has CSP started to become recognized as a serious disorder, as the numbers of reported sufferers continues to steadily increase.

    Skin picking often occurs as an impulsive reaction. There have been numerous cases that suggest many of the sufferers remain unaware that they are in fact picking at blemishes or dry scabs, while others have claimed that it produces a feeling of comfort and satisfaction.

    Treatments for compulsive skin picking generally include medical treatments as well as behavioral treatments. One behavioral method is known as habit reversal training. In its simplest form, habit reversal training involves monitoring and tracking of your skin picking habit and then replacing your behavior with a competing response that you choose to do in place of your undesirable behavior.

    The first step is to keep a diary that captures key information about your skin habit. You’ll want to get a notebook that you can record in, and keep it handy in the area(s) that you generally do your skin picking. In your diary you should record the date, time and behaviors for each time you pick your skin. You’ll want to be sure to record the circumstances in which you desire to pick. Does it happen when you are overstimulated and feeling stressed, anxious or excited? Or do you get the urge to pick when you are bored or inactive? You’ll want to record when the skin picking episodes occur, how long they last, what you were doing at the time, and what was your emotional state. Recording this information for a week or two can give you valuable insight into the triggers that lead up to your skin picking sessions.

    The next step in habit reversal training is to adopt a competing response. This involves choosing a different behavior that you choose to do instead of picking. For example, if you were going to pop a pimple or pick at your face, you could clench your fist or pinch your two index fingers away from your face as if popping an imaginary pimple. Personally, I like to do things at my computer where I have to use two hands typing rather than picking. Sometimes, I just play Solitaire or Sudoku just to keep my mind off of picking.

    Lastly, you should also do things that help reduce stress since this can often trigger picking episodes. Try breathing in deeply though your nose and exhaling out your mouth. Do this numerous times until you feel your body beginning to relax. You can use this as your competing response to avoid picking your skin.

    Try these examples of ways to reverse your habit and also experiment to personalize for yourself.

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    Source by Lisa B Mason

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Doesn’t Love Me As Much As I Love Him – Tips and Advice That Might Help

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    I often hear from wives who have some issues with whether their husbands are “in love” with them or not. And, if the husbands are, the wives often measure this love by degrees, as compared to how much the wife loves him. I often him comments like “my husband doesn’t love me nearly as much as I love him. I make all of the concessions and advances in the relationship. He never makes any effort or shows me any attention or affection. It’s as if he merely tolerates me. He doesn’t ask me about my day or make any effort to engage with me. It’s like I’m someone who just merely coexists. On a scale of one to ten, I love him on a level that’s an eleven. And he loves me on a level that’s about a one.”

    I understand that this is a lonely and frustrating place to be. I experienced this in my own marriage and the way I handled this almost ended that same marriage. Through experience and research, it’s become pretty clear to me that there’s a right way and wrong way to handle this situation. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Score keeping Is Not The Best Idea For A Marriage. The Question Isn’t Which Spouse Loves The Other The Most: The Question Is Do Both Spouse’s Feel Loved?: I understand how depressing it feels when you suspect that you’re the only one who’s really “in love” or trying to keep the marriage afloat. But sometimes, wives focus so much on measuring how much their husband loves them against some imaginary yard stick that has few (if any) implications on real life. This doesn’t really do anything to change or improve their situation.

    I often tell wives to give up comparisons and worry instead about whether they’re feeling loved, wanted and valued. Obviously, the answer is most likely to be negative, but at least you’ve shifted your focus from score keeping to something on which you can take concrete action.

    It can also be very important to understand that men aren’t as demonstrative as women. So, expecting your husband to be a spouse that compares to you in terms of demonstrating their feelings may not be totally realistic. Very few husbands express their love and affection in the way that wives typically do. This doesn’t mean that they don’t love you enough. It just means that you’ll need to teach him how to express himself and you’ll need to encourage the behaviors that make you feel noticed, understood, and loved.

    Some wives tell me that they resent having to do all the work and having to train their husband to do something that he should just automatically do. These points are certainly valid. But, in my experience, it’s better to give a little in exchange for getting what you truly want than to remain angry, frustrated and indignant while you’re not getting your needs met. It’s important to address and fix this before you yourself begin to withdraw. Because when you have to spouses who are on the edge of indifference, this can leave the marriage in real trouble.

    When You’re Worried That Your Husband’s Lack Of Affection For You Means He’s Not Invested In The Marriage Or May Eventually Want Out: I often find that the wives who tell me that their husband’s don’t love them enough fall into two camps. The first is a situation where the marriage is probably really OK, but the husband has either gotten into the habit of not showing his affection or needs to relearn that lesson. This scenario is easier to fix.

    The second scenario is that the husband’s lack of affection is due to issues within the marriage or with his no longer being invested in it. This is the scenario which you often can not afford to ignore. Because often, his withdrawing from you is a symptom of a much bigger problem. So, attempting to teach a husband to show you the feelings that just aren’t there isn’t likely to work.

    Instead, you’ll need to examine why the feelings have left, fix and address the issue, and then reevaluate. This is likely easier said than done. Because in the same way that husband’s aren’t demonstrative, they also often don’t have a firm grip on their feelings and perceptions. They may well know that something is wrong and act upon it. But, unlike us, they don’t lay awake at night exploring and turning over the issue. They’re more reactive. When something is wrong, they withdraw and reshuffle their efforts instead of thinking about their feelings.

    They may not even be aware that they are doing this or even understand why they are doing it. And that can be one reason that they insist that nothing is wrong or that you’re imagining things. Since they haven’t pondered what the issue is (or even that it exists) you look like a real nag or complainer when you address the symptom of it. That’s why you’re often much better off just working and acting on your own (especially at first.)

    One of the biggest mistakes that I see many wives make is that they harp on a sensitive subject with an already distant and detached husband. So, they’re already on shaky ground and it’s clear he’s resistant, but they think that if they can just get him to “work” on solving the problem, things will get better. The problem with this is that he’s already begun to withdraw. He likely doesn’t want to “work” on the marriage, at least right now. You’ll have to return him to a point of being invested before you can gain any real ground.

    Most wives understand this deep down, but they hesitate or rush because they don’t know how to get their husbands to be receptive to them again. The key is often to take inventory of the marriage and see where the husband might not be getting what he wants and then to provide that without needing to have any large or painful discussions about the same.

    And, that’s a common place where wives get stuck. I often hear comments like “But how am I supposed to do this? I’m already the one whose providing all of the attention and affection and that’s not working either.” Often the question really isn’t the demonstrative affection (at least on the husband’s end.) The real issue is often the real connection, and the feeling of being truly heard, valued and understood. It’s also important that both parties know that no one is going through the motions, score keeping, nagging, or trying to manipulate the other.

    I often tell wives to focus on what they can do very genuinely and convincingly. Husbands know when you’re just putting on a show or trying to overcompensate for what is really the underlying problem. They don’t want more of the same. They don’t want to be manipulated. They often want real change and improvements instead of worrying about how things look on the outside.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • Sex Drive, Sex Addiction And Anger

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    In psychiatry, we do a mental state examination that is quite like a physical examination. In it, one of the questions we ask of every patient is- How is your sexual appetite? In many parts of the world this question can be considered offensive especially when asked by the member of the opposite sex. But in the western world, people can talk freely about it. So in psychiatry, one has to be respectful of the culture one is working in.

    The importance of this question is that sexual drive determines the mental health of a person. In most psychiatric conditions, the drive is reduced. This happens in depression and anxiety conditions including post-traumatic stress disorder. In certain conditions like mania, it increases. In a person who is not manic, but has an unhealthy, elevated sexual drive, it is considered to be a sign of an addiction. An addiction has the quality of being compulsive and it is in excess to the norm. This excess starts damaging the person’s financial, social and personal condition. In such situations, it is a sign of ill health.

    In my experience, sex drive is the indicator of the physical and mental tension a person carries. When the tension increases to the extent that the body and the nervous system start getting tired, the drive reduces. If the tension is reduced, the drive comes back. In my experience, this happens typically in people who suffer with depression. Depression, is suppressed anger. When a depressed person, having low sex drive, starts releasing anger, the nervous system experiences a release and the sex drive or libido is increased as a result.

    Excessive sexual drive is the result of excessive tension or stress being produced in the body. The fact that regular physical exercise produces a healthy sex drive is a clinically known fact. When the tension is increased in the body, as happens in anger and following physical exercise, there is an upsurge in sex hormones. At that stage, the drive can become excessive. Despite having regular sexual partners, such people will feel the need to masturbate frequently to reduce their nervous tension. Such people are usually normal individuals except that they are torn inside with guilt about masturbation. If such people were to do nothing about their ‘sex addiction’, they would end up being depressed. This is because the body has a limit to tolerate tension. When the limit is reached,the nervous system becomes fatigued and features of depression kick in.

    In medical practice, medicines can be prescribed to control the excessive sexual drive. In my work, I have used meditation and imagery exercises to help the patients reduce their anger. The reduction in their sexual drive is a natural spontaneous follow up.

    Many years ago, there was an earthquake in the region of California. In the studies done at that time, scientists were perplexed to learn that immediately after the earthquake, the survivors reported a surge in their sexual drives. The reason for this, as I understand is this. Sex is an activity that is gift from nature to the animal world to continue with the progeny. During times of danger, the survival of the species or individual is threatened. This causes an anger drive that is necessary to undo the effects of the danger. Testosterone is a typical male hormone that increases muscle tension and produces energy in the body. Its secretion is increased at such times too. In order for the progeny to continue, reproductive activity has to take place. So there is a consequent increase in sexual drive.

    On the other hand, what would happen, if the anger tension is considerably reduced in the body? In all kinds of spiritual literature, there is emphasis on celibacy. Some religions enforce it on their followers. This is so because if you meditate regularly, the body’s physical and mental needs reduce considerably. There is also a reduction in anger levels and the body’s tension. The sexual drive reduces as a result. In such cases reduction in sexual drive is a sign of excellent mental health rather than the sign of mental illness. In spiritual literatures, sex is not a weakness because it provides pleasure, but because it is a sign of tension. Spiritual practices, like meditation, reduce this tension. Engaging in sex is a ‘weakness’ from anger/tension perspective in spirituality. It has nothing to do with denial of pleasure.

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    Source by Pradeep Chadha

    Views: 0

  • Reverse Living Floor Planning – What Is It and Is It Right For You?

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    Traditional architecture found throughout the home building industry typically provides two-story homes with the main living space on the first floor and the sleeping quarters on the second floor. However, a popular alternative to this floor plan has evolved that has become known as reverse living. Read on with me as I explain reverse living and help you decide when a reverse floor plan may appropriate for you.

    In traditional two-story homes, active living space found in rooms such as the living room, kitchen, dining room, study and family room are found on the first floor. This arrangement provides ease of entry to and exit from the house during the normal course of the day, when homeowners and their families tend to make frequent and multiple trips into and out of their home and, in the process, want the convenience of a same-floor relationship between their indoor and outdoor living space. The more passive activity of sleep, typically occurring in the bedrooms, is relegated to the second floor, the least convenient level of the traditional two-story home.

    The simplest form of a reverse living floor plan is the reversal of the living space and the sleeping space within a two-story home. This relationship of indoor living to the outdoors environs shifts because of view corridors or outdoor amenities, for which a client seeks to maximize exposure during its living time. This type of floor plan is most common for homes situated to take advantage of scenic views created by mountains, hilltops, marshes, wildlife sanctuaries, rivers, stream, water expanses and urban skylines. By placing living space on the upper most level within the house, views are more easily captured or perhaps made visible when they might be partially or fully blocked on lower levels.

    Within a reverse living floor plan, bedrooms are relegated to the most inactive areas of the house. In some reverse living floor plans, the master bedroom may be included on the upper most level of the home, if the homeowner wants to appreciate the views in the privacy and serenity of its bedroom.

    Now, is a reverse living floor plan suited for you? It may be if your building lot is located on or proximate to beautiful landscapes or view corridors, whether crafted by man or nature, and you wish to enjoy those views to the fullest!

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    Source by Richard Wojewodzki

    Views: 0

  • Style and Glamour With Leather Luggage Tags

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    Today, luggage tags play an important role with long distance travelling. In the days gone by this duty was fulfilled with a simple luggage sticker. Although this little sticker carried vital information of the passenger’s travel details, it did not receive its due attention. The travel world has changed over the decades. Today luggage stickers have been replaced by luggage tags. This has got so much prominence, that the consumer market is flooded with different designs and styles of luggage tags. Amidst this wide range, travellers will also find the Leather Luggage Tags.

    There are some interesting facts about leather – it is nature’s most luxurious, yet practical type of material. It is mostly used to manufacture bags, but today luggage tags too have joined the bandwagon of leather items. Since there is a wide range of low-cost luggage tags freely available in the markets today, travellers prefer to change them each time they travel. However, there will be some passengers who will not prefer a change, and would like to continue to use the same tags. The best choice during a situation such as this is to have luggage tags made out of leather. It is the most durable, long-lasting and stylish type of material. It definitely gives elegance and class when seen tagged on your luggage. There is range that you can select from, and given below are just a few choices which will help you have an idea on the type of Leather Luggage Tags that are found at retail and online stores:

    1) Crocodile Luggage Tag: Croc-Embossed leather travel accessory which will look so elegant on your baggage, that you might be even called for an upgrade to luxury class! They are made of Italian calfskin with authentic croc embossing, stylish purple lining and skillful craftsmanship. The quality of the tag will definitely improve with age. It has a rich design, with a gold buckle and a privacy flap to protect your identity.

    2) Royce Luggage Tag: Made of top grain full harness cowhide leather. This is a neatly manufactured tag with the ultimate in luxury and privacy.

    3) Leather Luggage Tags – Italian Leather: Available in a choice of 10 different colours, and some which also includes a small design. Whether you prefer basic black or you would like a bit of recognizable colour – they have it. This tag will help you identify your luggage quickly and get you moving to your next destination.

    4) Goodhope Luggage Tag: Made of leather and round in shape. Available in a range of 6 bright colours. Includes strap and is easy to spot as it features a creamy saddle stitch.

    5) Lewis N Clarke Luggage Tag: A bonded leather neon green luggage tag with an open face for travel details. Perfect to help you identify your baggage even from a distance.

    Given above are just a few ideas of the wide range of Leather Luggage Tags that are found in the market. It might be far easier for you to shop online, it gives you an opportunity to browse these products at your leisure, and select the best of your choice.

    Make your next long distance trip in elegance and style with luxury travel accessories!

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    Source by Paul Sung

    Views: 0

  • The Philosophy of the Mind, Mindset and Mentality

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    It is important for people, who are serious about reflecting on the issue of the mind and its associated issues of the body. It is defined that the basis of Philosophy of the Mind is the branch of philosophy that studies the nature of the mind (mental events, mental functions, mental properties and consciousness) and its relationship to the physical body. It intersects to some extent with the fields of neurobiology, computer science and psychology. It is also interesting, at this juncture, to evaluate an aspect of theory of mind. It is stated that 'Theory of the Mind', is the social cognitive ability to explain and predict other people's actions in terms of the fundamental mental states, such as beliefs, intentions, or feelings.

    Baron-Cohen is a Professor of Developmental Psychopathology who proposed the empathizing / systematizing theory of psychological sex differences. He emphasizes that females are more disposed to an empathizing style and males are more disposed to a systematizing style. Consciously and sub-consciously both genders progressively streamline their efforts to draw meaningful results to find out which effect is more pronounced in the daily lives of human beings. Therefore, it is logical to study the relationship of the mind and mind-set with a variance of mentality. Thus, the mentality, eventually, becomes a pivotal point either good or bad subjectively.

    All creatures are created on "The Fitrat"; It is an Arabic word and it means original creation without an analogy. It has an ingrained quality that likes truth and good. It rejects all malign and untruth until such that the arrogance and ignorance overpower the mind. The deviation has its impact, yet the 'The Fitrat' constantly reminds the human beings its repercussions. However, the human mind which is polluted with arrogance and impertinence finally leads towards disaster.

    Analyzing the above scenario, which leads to environmental forces playing a dominant role affecting human behavior. Since God has also bestowed human beings' wisdom and knowledge, hence, human has a choice to select and rejects what his mind dictates. Subsequently, it develops a mentality which suits his desires finally shaping the personality of men and women accordingly.

    A question arises about how a mind affects the personality; If so, then in what way? Again, how it shapes the mentality? Human behavior indicates that the structure of brain correlates with their activities. The brain is directly proportional to personality and it is substantiated by Collin De Young and his team at University of Minnesota. They further stated, "Experiences change the brain as it develops, and those changes in the brain can change personality."

    Dr. Daniel Siegel coined the term "mindset" to describe the human capacity to perceive the mind of the self and others. A mindset is a relationship between the mind and brain and these factors collectively evolve the mentality. It differs with every individual subject to their upbringing with respective dwellings within the parameters of cultural, social and family values.

    It is important to understand why some individuals from poor dwellings, who, after, marriage is living in economically affluent environments remain introvert and perverted. Their past still haunts their behavior which is subconsciously governed by their poor mentality. Thus, their martial, live in affluent families failed to make a dent on a positive note. Hence, the relationship within their post marital environment conspicuously shows unhappy and bickering. In many cases, it drastically affects children and relationships among respective families.

    It is said that being a poor person is not bad, but having a poor mentality is a disaster. This typical camouflage scenario will expose the truth lying beneath the façade of superficial mask. Here, those people who are responsible to adjust and maintained the situations in a harmony often failed miserably because of dubious thinking and arrogance. It is appropriate to, quote, "The mind is a beautiful servant; a dangerous master." (The source of this quote is unknown)

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    Source by Ehtesham Mirza

    Views: 0

  • What Can I Say To Make My Husband Understand The Pain That His Cheating Has Caused?

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    It’s very common from me to hear from wives who are struggling to explain to their husbands just how much his cheating or affair hurt them and caused them pain. But often, their husband doesn’t react in the way that they were hoping for and they are looking for a way to explain their feelings so that he actually understands them.

    I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I have repeatedly tried to explain to my husband the depth of and reasons for my pain after his infidelity, but he either doesn’t want to hear it or he’s not understanding what I’m saying. Sometimes, I pour my heart out to him and try to explain how he has hurt me and all I get is blank stare back or empty assurances that he really is trying. This is so frustrating to me because I need him to understand the extent of my pain so that I can have some reassurance that he’ll never cheat again. I want him to understand why I sometimes act in the way that I do because of what a grave mistake he has made. But part of me thinks that he’s unwilling or just incapable of hearing me. How can I explain my pain in a way that he’ll actually understand and be willing to listen?” I’ll address these concerns in the following article.

    Pick The Right Time And Know That, Once You Start Repeating Yourself, Your Words Lose Their Effectiveness: I hear from both wives who are faithful and husbands who are not on my blog and I can tell you that if you are constantly talking about your hurt and pain, eventually, even the most sincere husband will begin to tune you out. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. And husbands will often want to place their focus on moving on while the wife wants to place her focus on understanding and digging a little deeper.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband doesn’t care about your pain or just doesn’t want to hear it. But, at least sometimes, he hears your words as accusations. He might constantly hear that his selfishness and weakness has hurt you deeply and this just isn’t a message that he wants to hear on a continual basis, day after day. Men will often give comments like “she constantly wants to tell me how much the infidelity has hurt her. I do believe and understand that and I’m sorry for it. But, do I really need or have to listen to what an awful person I am every single day? How many times does she need to explain where I went wrong or how awful I am before she will feel satisfied that she’s said it enough? I tell her I’m deeply sorry. I listen. But it doesn’t seem to be enough and we repeat this process constantly.”

    I’m not telling you this to imply that you can’t regularly discuss and try to work through the infidelity. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand the obstacles that are in your way and the dynamics that are at play here. If you really want your husband to listen and to take your words to heart, then sometimes you have to pick the right time and limit the message so that it has the maximum impact.

    Consider What Your Husband Is Actually Going To Hear Before You Say The Words: I alluded to this in the previous paragraph, but sometimes the message that your husband hears has more to do with your tone and your delivery than the words that you say. So you might say something like “your infidelity has hurt me deeply. It’s made me doubt your integrity and your love and commitment to me. It’s affected my self esteem and my level of trust. And I’m not sure when things are going to get any better.”

    But what he hears is often something more in line with: “your poor decision to cheat on me has ruined my life and will probably ruin our marriage. You are an awful, selfish person with very little impulse control. And your actions have caused me so much pain that I might not ever fully recover. Because of this, I am going to feel pain and resentment every time I look at you or even think of you. And, this is going to be our lot in life from this day on because I don’t anticipate any changes.”

    These examples might seem a little extreme, but they aren’t that far off from the comments that I hear. An unfaithful husband can hear a message that you never intended. And because of this, he is often somewhat resistant to that message. Of course, the wife will often take this to mean he isn’t listening or he just doesn’t care and so she will continue to repeat herself with more feeling. And of course, this just keeps the cycle going. She doesn’t feel heard and he feels beaten down and neither person is getting what they want or need.

    If you think about it, what you probably really want is to feel heard. You want for him to know, understand, (and even feel) your pain because if he does, he’s less likely to cheat again and more likely to show the remorse that so many of us really want and need. So, think about what’s most likely to accomplish this.

    You don’t want to come across as too accusatory or too despondent because unfortunately, these things will contribute to him feeling defensive and to tuning you out. Instead, you want to use “I” phrases so that it sounds as if you’re talking responsibility for your own feelings and you’re not just trying to lay on the blame or make him feel continuously guilty for the rest of his life. And, you want to choose the time when your message is most likely to be heard. You don’t want to try to explain yourself in the middle of a fight or when you’re main goal is to hurt him. I’ve found that the message is often more likely to be heard if you say it when things are going a little more positively and both people are calm.

    An Example Of What To Say To Express The Pain His Cheating Has Caused: An example would be something like: “if this is a good time, I’d like to briefly explain how much your infidelity has hurt me. I’m not doing this to punish you or to paint you as a horrible person. I love you and don’t think you’re an awful person, but I need to feel as though you care enough to hear me. And I need to know that you truly understand so that you will hesitate to cheat again. Having someone who you love more than anything betray you in this way is something that is more devastating and hurtful than I could have ever imagined. It calls into doubt things about your marriage and yourself that are just devastating. Can you even begin to put yourself in my shoes and imagine that the rolls were reversed? Because I need to know that you understand how much pain I’m in so that we can begin to move forward once and for all. I don’t intend to keep bringing this up, but before I move on, I need to know that you truly understand.”

    Phrasing like this is much more likely to get the response and the understanding that you are after. But you can only play this card so often before your husband begins to tune you out. So once you’ve laid your cards on the table, it’s best to begin to move forward so that your husband can see that you’re sincere about not using your words to continuously punish him.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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