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  • Business Partners & Marital Partners Will The Marriage Survive – Part II

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    In the last article, we connected by saying that keeping your business and personal relationships separate is very important to the survival of both your business and your marriage. In this article we will talk about how to achieve this goal.

    One of the most important ways to accomplish this is to set up distinct business hours, and when they are over, don't discuss business, concentrate on your relationship. It is difficult, but make a concentrated effort at it. Confine your business discussions to business hours or set aside a specific time to discuss the business.

    For example, take the last half hour of the day, and discuss the business day; Any suggestions you have, what was accomplished, what needs to be done tomorrow, during the week, how are the monthly goals you set at the beginning of the month progressing. Remember to couch any criticisms or suggestions in a positive vein. Think of how you felt in the work situation and how supervisors dealt with you when making suggestions. Negatives only cause resentment. They do in the corporate arena, and even more so, when dealing with a spouse you must live with 24 hours a day. Be sure to set aside time for each other-go for walks, out to dinner, or just for a drive with your spouse. Do not discuss business.

    You should have outside activities that are not business related. If not, join a group that interests you. It will allow you to meet with others who are not connected to your business. Running a home-based business can be very lonely; getting away from the home, and having outside interests is imperative.

    In addition to the problems inherent to couples running a business, starting a home-based business presents its own set of problems and questions. Before you start be sure to ask yourself the following:

    1. Are you self-motivated? Organized? Able to prioritize your work? You will no longer have a supervisor or a boss to tell you what to do. You will be the decision maker. You will have to motivate yourself. One way to accomplish this is to use a To Do List and stick to it. In addition, set definitive business hours, and stick to them.

    2. Will you be able to deal with the isolation? You will no longer meet people in the halls, congregate around the coffee pot, or take a break to talk with your co-workers. To combat the loneliness and isolation be sure to join groups that meet outside the home, or schedule luncheons with friends and associates.

    3. Write up a business plan. Be sure the business is something that interests you. You might want to start on a part-time basis, and grow from there. Research the business carefully, make sure there is a market, and the competition is not overwhelming.

    4. Be sure you have at least six months living expenses set aside. This will give you the time to work through the marketing strategy outlined in your business plan, and avoid bad marketing practices. In addition, if changes need to be made, you can do so, without monetary concerns becoming an issue.

    5. Be sure your office space is located in a separate room or area of ​​your home that offers the least distractions. A separate office is best, especially if you are meeting with clients. Remember to always present a professional appearance.

    6. When will you do your regular household chores? Make up a schedule of when you will deal with them. Some individuals find getting chores done before the start of the work day is best. At the end of the day, close your office door and then deal with the remaining household items that need to be handled. Time management will be a very important factor in running a home-based business.

    7. For husband and wife teams, it becomes imperative to have some form of disability insurance for each other. Remember, even though your partner may be your husband or wife, he or she is still your business partner. An accident or illness to one of you can severely impact the operation of the business.

    A business is only as good as you and your partner make it. It takes a lot of dedication, time and energy to run a business, whether it is home-based or not. It can be a very rewarding experience. Think carefully, and ask yourself a lot of self-searching questions before you begin.

    Copyright 2000, DeFiore Enterprises

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    Source by Sue And Chuck DeFiore

    Views: 0

  • 5 Tips for Dating Slavic Women

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    Depending on how young is the lady you fancy and where she had grown up (in a western country or somewhere in Russia, Belarus, or Ukraine), she will behave more or less like the typical Slavic woman. Girls who grew up in western countries may behave similar to western females. But if she finished school in countries of the post-USSR, then she definitely will have some specific expectations that you need to take in consideration in your approach.

    1. Dress up.

    A well dressed man is a pleasant sight for most females. But Slavic women dating rule book has a special place for an elegant man, as Russian, Ukrainian ladies love to dress up themselves. If you look sloppy, she will not feel comfortable and may decide you are not a suitable match. Wearing a jacket, nice pants, and a collared shirt with laced-up shoes will make you look more attractive for women of Slavic origin.

    2. Bring flowers.

    Most westerners think it’s too much to give a woman flowers on the first date. But if a woman is from the former USSR, she expects it as a necessary gesture of adherence to the polite courtship ritual (as opposed to a guy simply trying to pick her up). FSU dating culture still insists on a man bringing a bouquet for a lady on the first date, or she will think you do not respect her. How do you find out if the Slavic girl you have a date with expects flowers from a man? Ask her if she likes flowers. If she says, “Of course!”, then ask her what kind of flowers she likes. If she can give you an instant answer, she is definitely into the “flower dating culture” and you are safe to bring a bunch of pretty blossoms. (Sure, if she says she doesn’t like flowers, no need to do it.)

    3. Court her.

    Courting means looking after your girl on a date as if she was a dainty lady: Open doors, move chairs, offer your hand when she exits a car, hold her coat for her to slip in. Things that gentlemen used to do for their ladies in 1950s. (Ask your grandmother if you struggle to understand what it’s all about.) These little gestures are still in vogue among Slavic girls and she will be really impressed, as most westerners don’t do it. That’s a sure way to separate yourself from all the other guys trying to woo her.

    4. Make decisions.

    Every Slavic girl wants to meet a “real man”. What does she mean by that? Someone who is decisive and confident. This means, book a restaurant (you can even find a good Russian restaurant, she will approve), decide what you do before and after, ask what she is going to eat prior the waiter coming and order for her, and so on. She wants to feel that she can simply relax and rely on you. That’s what Slavic women seek in a partner.

    5. Pick the bill.

    If you offer to split expenses, this will be the last time you see your Slavic girl. In Russia and Ukraine, men still pay for dates -moreover, a Russian guy would feel insulted if a woman offered to go halves, as if she thought he wasn’t a “real man”.

    If you follow these 5 easy tips, your dates with Slavic ladies will definitely go smoother.

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    Source by Elena Petrova

    Views: 0

  • Will You Marry Me? Four Simple Little Words, That Mean So Much

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    Since my social gathering, thoughts took me back my own marriage proposal, some 16 years ago. I had imagined how it might unfold; we had talked about marriage and family, so I knew it would arise at some point. Would it be full of romance, flowers, a candle-lit dinner and my future husband down on one knee, eloquently pledging his undying love for me! Well, not exactly – after a drunken evening in a local nightclub, you know the ones, with sticky ‘beer soaked’ carpets and dated disco tunes; he turned around to me and said ‘How about it then, shall we get married? Not the dreamy scene I had hoped for, but of course, I said ‘yes’ and we have been happily married with 2 children and a dog for the last 14 years.

    How many of us wait in anticipation for our partners to pop “the question?” Then are disappointed when either, it never happens or when it does, it doesn’t live up to our own expectations. Dreams of being whisked off to a secret exotic location, a special evening in the finest restaurant, and then finally having plucked up the courage to ask, and in front of an unsuspecting audience, your companion is down on one knee saying the words you have been waiting for.

    I have to tell you, although you might not believe me, this type of scenario does happen in real life. The friend that caught the bouquet had a marriage proposal that could have been taken from a film set.

    It started with a mystery holiday that had been planned as a birthday treat, she had no idea of where she was going and was told to pack for warm, sunny weather. The destination was the Greek island of Santorini, staying in a lovely hotel with magnificent sea views.

    A carefully planned romantic walk, where a ‘sea view’ table and a bottle of chilled Moet awaited them to watch the sunset. Along their ocean saunter, a detour to a traditional greek church with white washed exterior and striking blue dome, as my friend finished taking numerous photographs, she turned round to be presented with a handmade puzzle!

    I sure you can guess what came next, when she placed the puzzle pieces together, those simple four words appeared in front of her and her man, down of one knee, offering her the ‘sexiest’ (her words, not mine) engagement ring she had ever seen. Don’t be surprised when I tell you that, not only did my friend’s thoughtful fiancée plan the mystery trip, sea views and romantic proposal, he also designed and arranged for the ring to be handmade with her birthstone!

    Other marriage proposal stories have floated past my ears over the last few years. One in particular, a tale of a treasure hunt, constructed from cryptic clues sending the hopeful lady on an adventure to a hidden destination. Upon arrival, a small Silver love letter necklace with a delicately engraved letter inside – Will you marry me? An engagement ring placed on a finger and another couple betrothed to each other.

    I am full of admiration for imaginative partners that take the time to plan a proposal, complete with surprises, mystery and the odd glass of champagne. Not everyone needs to go to these lengths and as long as the sentiments of the words are truly felt, then any proposal is a special moment. Regardless of how a marriage proposal is planned or not, from my ‘sticky carpet’ moment in the local nightclub or my friend’s Shirley Valentine meets Mamma Mia adventure on the island of Santorini, with marriage statistics as an all time low, isn’t it all about being asked those simple 4 words and living in happily ever after – with the perfect Engagement ring of course!

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    Source by Claire L Bentley

    Views: 0

  • Prophetic Declaration to Overcome Storms of Life in Your Marriage: Powerful Life Changing Prayers

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    If you are faced with problems in your marriage and business, it is only by divine intervention that you will overcome such problems.

    Bible Verses and Prayers to Encourage You As You Face The Battle of Life

    Psalm 23: 1-6 (KJV) "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

    Prayers to Encourage You As You Face The Battle of Life

    – Lord Eliminate the Spirit of always wanting to give up my Life in the Name of Jesus.

    – Give me a fresh breeze of release to lighten my load in Jesus Name.

    – Send the right people in my life to be a source of love, guidance and new opportunities.

    – Teach me your way and your will in Jesus Name

    – Speak to me Lord in a way that I would understand and obey in Jesus Name.

    – If nobody else in the whole world seems to care or believe in me, let me believe in myself.

    – I know there will be times when I doubt my own ability, I will be discouraged, on the verge of despair.

    – Don't let me give up, hang on to me. Fan the fires of my faith so that I will try even harder.

    – Give me even more faith in myself in Jesus Name.

    – I come boldly before your throne of grace.

    – Your word says that you give strength to the weary, so I ask that you would strengthen me Lord, for I am weary.

    – Bless me Lord with your presence, that my heart might be encouraged.

    – Help me remember your faithfulness and your love that I might stand in faith against the issues that face me.

    Prophetic Declaration over your marriage

    Bible says that the ear of the lord is not deaf nor his hand short that he does not hear us, but our iniquities have separated us from our God (paraphrased) Isaiah 59: 1. We therefore must first bring repentance over our past participation by thoughts words or deed our iniquities which would cause the Lord not to hear us.

    Prayer Points

    – I repent over every sin and wickedness in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I turn way from everything in my life that gives Satan a foothold and legality in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I repent of every ungodly confession I have made over my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I repent of every ungodly confession that is standing as a witness and testimony before you in the name of Jesus.

    – Father have mercy upon me in the name of Jesus.

    – Forgive me for wrong confessions, utterances, declarations, thoughts, actions, I have done which are speaking against me, before you in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that in my marriage shall receive and release the strength, honor, glory that marriage brings in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that in my marriage shall reflect the glory of God in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that two shall put to flight Ten thousand, that is my portion in my marriage in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that wicked patterns and cycles of marriages in my bloodline broken in the name of Jesus and by the voice of the blood of the lamb.

    – Every handwriting of wicked codes speaking against my marriage in be bloated out by the blood of Jesus.

    – I station Angels of defense along my marriage in Jesus name

    – Blood of Jesus surround my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I station the word of the Lord as a wall around my marriage, it shall not be like a city with no walls in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that I will have prophetic utterances over my marriage in Jesus name.

    – Blood of Jesus step into the foundation of my marriage and align it to the word of God in the name of Jesus

    – Blood of Jesus speak healing into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak restoration into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak love into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak joy into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak peace to my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak harmony into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak unity into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak wisdom into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak understanding into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak knowledge into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak fruitfulness into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I raise the banner and the standard of Christ and declare the Lordship of Jesus over my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that my marriage shall bear good fruits in Jesus name.

    – Every Spirit of barrenness is broken, and destroyed by the power of the blood of Jesus in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Every pain In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every bitterness In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every anger In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every unforgiveness In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every sorrow In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that the scent of my marriage shall be a pleasing aroma in your sight Lord and in the body of Christ in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that springs of life from your fountain will come forth and water every dry area in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Resurrection power of God rest upon every dead area in my marriage and resurrect it in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare the Angel in charge of marriages shall walk with me in my marriage.

    – I release every goodness my marriage is to bring to my life in Jesus name.

    – let every stranger in my marriage be evicted in the name of Jesus.

    – Let the angel of the Lord pursue to destruction every stranger in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Every ungodly voice over my marriage be silenced by the voice of the blood of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus blot out every wicked ordinance that is standing as a testimony against my marriage in the courtrooms of heaven in the name of Jesus

    – I station the Angel in charge of marriages at the gate of my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what the Angel in charge of marriages is confessing before the courts of heaven concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what the blood of Jesus is speaking before the courtrooms of heaven concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what Jesus the mediator is speaking before the courtrooms of heaven concerning my marriage.

    – Father I pray let my offerings and tithes stand as a testimony and a witness on behalf of my marriage in the courtrooms of heaven.

    – Father I pray arise and become a witness for me against every adulterer in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that the bars of my marriage gates will be strengthened in the name of Jesus

    – I declare my marriage shall be restful, joyous, happy, full of the glory of God.

    – I station these words at the gates of my marriage in Jesus name.

    – I put the seal of the blood of Jesus on my marriage in the name of Jesus.

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    Source by Dr Olusola A Coker Ed.D

    Views: 0

  • Uncovering the Weight & Lifestyle Connection

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    Why do some people have a harder time losing weight than others?

    Some people have really low metabolisms due to inborn genetic conditions. Others develop hormone-imbalance disorders like hypothyroidism later in life, which can also make losing weight nearly impossible without proper treatment.

    However, the most common cause of delay in weight loss is actually lifestyle choices.

    If you are already dieting and working out and you still aren’t seeing any progress, it’s time to do a lifestyle check to see if you have any “weight loss traps” holding you back.

    What are “weight loss traps?”

    Weight loss traps are habits, beliefs and general lifestyle factors that can slow down your progress in slimming down. To say that only diet and exercise are needed to slim down is an oversimplification. There are many other factors that affect a person’s weight.

    Factor #1: Daily Routines

    How do our daily routines affect weight loss?

    Daily routines have a definite impact on the weight loss process. If people evaluated their main routines at home or at work, they would immediately see why the weight isn’t coming off.

    If you grab cheeseburgers or tacos for lunch and you skip breakfast on most days, your metabolism is probably very low and your body isn’t burning calories at an optimum level.

    Poor eating habits often have precedents. For example, if a person doesn’t have time in the morning to prepare breakfast, it is likely that they often sleep late and wake up in the morning with only minutes left to shower and dress for work.

    It’s important that you slowly change your daily routines to fit your new lifestyle requirements. Otherwise, your body will not be able to shed fat efficiently.

    Factor #2: Stress Levels

    How stressed are you on most days?

    If you answered “very stressed” or “extremely stressed”, your level of stress may also be preventing you from losing weight.

    In addition to the mental strain that stress creates, physiological stress also affects cardiorespiratory efficiency, nerve health and even your digestive health. In short, when you are mentally stressed, your body (including your vital organs) is stressed too.

    In this situation, the only viable option is stress management.

    There are many stress management techniques available, from meditation to massage therapy. Some individuals like playing subliminal recordings with ambient sounds to relieve themselves of stress. Explore your options and see which technique will be the most beneficial for you.

    Factor #3: Sleep Quality

    Sleep is the only time that the body can start renewing and repairing itself. When you are actively losing extra weight, your body needs even more sleep so that your muscles and organs can repair and reconfigure themselves to function more efficiently.

    What happens when you don’t get enough sleep at night?

    Lack of sleep or poor sleep quality can affect your ability to exercise. Your metabolism is also slower and the digestion and absorption of nutrients also slow down.

    Having less than 6 hours of sleep every night can also cause physical stress which further reduces your metabolic efficiency. In short, if you want to melt away those extra inches, you have to give your “fat burning machine” the rest that it needs.

    How can you get better sleep at night?

    No Gadgets – If you are going to sleep, leave your tablet computer and smartphone on the bedside table or even farther away. Watching TV is also a bad idea as it makes your mind more active, making sleep harder to come.

    Aromatherapy – Starting with the ability to relax your mind and body, aromatherapy can vastly improve your sleep habits. Getting to sleep, staying asleep, the quality of sleep you are getting, and the ability to wake up refreshed are all quality sleep habits that aromatherapy can help you with.

    Lights Off – Current research shows that having even a small amount of light present during bedtime can affect sleep quality. It appears that we instinctually associate any form of light with sunlight and therefore, wakefulness.

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    Source by Josee Smith

    Views: 0

  • A Look at the Difference Between Prosperity and Success

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    Is there actually any difference between a prosperous man and a successful or rich man? Or are they mere synonyms? If they are different which group should a Christian belong to? Which should reflect in a Christian? I would like to make an analysis with the Bible and on that base we could differentiate and draw a conclusion.

    “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shall make thy way prosperous and then thou shall have good success.”

    Joshua 1:8(KJV)

    We could see it is God’s will that we be both prosperous and successful as we abide by his word daily. We could also say that prosperity is different from success or riches but they are related as the bible also made us to understand. What is then the difference between this two? Is it possible to be rich and not be prosperous or is it also possible for one to be prosperous and not rich? Who is a prosperous man? These questions would be answered from the Bible.

    “With God you will be both prosperous and you will have “good” success. But without God you can be only be successful”.

    In the book of Luke 16:19-31 Jesus gave us the parable of a rich (successful) man and a beggar called Lazarus. The man was successful, he had wealth but was not prosperous because his riches were not affecting the lives of the needy or the poor, his wealth was for him alone and for whom he dimmed fit. He was only a rich man.

    “And the Lord was with Joseph and he was a prosperous man; and he was in his master’s house. And his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord made all that he did to prosper”.

    Genesis 39:2-3(KJV)

    Joseph was a prosperous man but he was not rich materially at that time and because he was prosperous his master’s house was blessed. If you see a prosperous man, the blessing of the Lord in his life will radiate and affect the lives of others positively. Prosperity and success (riches) is not limited to material (Money) and tangible things, you could be rich in talents and so many other useful things but the fact still remains that you should affect lives. A prosperous life blesses the lives of other with what God has given him/her.

    “When riches or success are used to bless lives to the Glory of God it becomes prosperity”.

    Point 1

    Riches or success could be gotten from God or by man but prosperity is only from the Lord. For a man to be prosperous he must abide by God’s word Joshua 1:8. The bible said and the Lord was with Joseph and he prospered. Prosperity here should not be confused for influence.

    Point 2

    As Christians we should use whatever God has deposited in us to bless others. This is when we will be recognized as prosperous.

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    Source by Hanson Chidi Otuneme

    Views: 0

  • Ten Ways to Strengthen Your Reading Habit

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    Most people wish they read more. It is an activity that is both fun and enlightening. It can help us be more knowledgeable and successful. However, it is an activity that many people don’t engage in very much. According to the 1999 National Household Education Survey, 50% of the U.S. population aged 25 and over read a newspaper at least once a week, read one or more magazines regularly, and had read a book in the past 6 months. What does this mean? It means that 50% of the population hasn’t read a book in the last six months! Looking at the other end of the spectrum, research shows that if you read ten books a year, you are in the top few percent of all people as readers. Simply stated, it doesn’t take much to be well read, but we do need to know how to get started. The following are ten suggestions to help you strengthen your reading habit – ways to find and make more time for reading. 1. Always have a book around. Don’t go anywhere without reading material. Keep magazines or short stories in your bathroom. Always have something in your briefcase to read. Keep a book(s) by your bed. Having things available makes it easier for you to steal otherwise lost moments. 2. Set a reading goal. Determine how much time you want to spend reading, or how many books you want to read over time. Your goal might be a book a month, one per week, or it might be to read 30 minutes a day. Start out with something attainable but still a stretch. As your habit builds, you might set higher goals. Setting a goal is the first step towards reading more. 3. Keep a log. Keep a list of the books you have read, or keep track of how much time you read each day. You might keep these lists in your journal or your day planner. My son’s log is on our refrigerator. My list and log are kept on my computer. It doesn’t matter where you keep it, just do it. 4. Keep a list. Make a list of things you want to read in the future. Ask your friends and colleagues what they are reading. Watch for recommendations in the newspaper and magazines. Once you start looking for good books, you’ll find them everywhere. This is a great way to keep your enthusiasm up. By knowing what great stuff you want to read, you will reinforce your reading habit. 5. Turn off the television. Many people say they just don’t have enough time. Television is one of our major time consumers. Make your television watching more conscious and less habitual. There is nothing wrong with watching television shows you really enjoy. Where the time gets lost is turning it on, and scanning to find “something to watch.” Those are the times to turn it off and pick up your book! 6. Listen when you can’t read. Use your commute and other time spent in the car to listen! There are great audio versions of all sorts of books. Whether you want to “read” fiction, the latest self-help or diet book, it is probably available on tape. Don’t get locked into the idea that you have to read it – listening to the book still gives you the experience, ideas, and imagination that reading a book can. 7. Join a reading group or book club. Reading groups typically meet once a month to discuss a book they have all decided to read. Committing to the group provides a bit more impetus to finish the book, and gives you a great forum for discussion and socialization around the book’s themes. 8. Visit the library or bookstore often. You have your list, right? So you’ll have some ideas of what you are looking for when you walk in. But there is more to be gained by walking through places where books reside than just to make a transaction. Take time to browse! Let your eyes find things of interest. Let serendipity happen. Browsing will feed your mental need to read, and give you plenty of new things to read. 9. Build your own strategy. Decide when reading fits your schedule. Some people read first thing in the morning, some before bed. Some decide to read as they eat their lunch. And there is more to your strategy than just timing. Make your own decisions about reading. It is OK to be reading more than one book at once. It is OK to stop reading something before you finish if it isn’t holding your interest. It is OK to skim the book, getting what you want or need, without reading every page. Determine what works best for you, develop your own beliefs and ideas–then make them work for you. 10. Drop Everything and Read. My son’s fourth grade class has DEAR (Drop Everything and Read) time. When the teacher calls for it, that’s just what they do. They read now. That is my last piece of advice for you. Do it. Just get started. Make it DEAR time. Now.

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    Source by Kevin Eikenberry

    Views: 0

  • Should I Still Be Saying "I Love You" To My Separated Spouse?

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    When you are in the middle of a separation that you never wanted in the first place, it can be tempting to want to remind your spouse that they are still married to someone who still loves them very much. I know first hand that there can be a real worry that if they are outside of your presence, they will begin to forget what they loved about you. Or they will find that the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” is actually true.

    So it may be your normal inclination to tell your separated spouse that you love them every time you talk with or see them. And this is absolutely fine – so long as you are getting an enthusiastic response in reply. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

    A wife might say: “I know that it sounds desperate and needy. But I can not help it. Every time I talk to my separated husband, I tell him that I love him right before we hang up. I have done this for all the years that I have known him and old habits die hard. At the beginning of our separation, this seemed OK. But the last couple of times, I’ve noticed that he has hesitated before he gives a response. Last night, he didn’t say anything in response. I don’t mean to be dense. Obviously, he probably thinks that I am doing something wrong or he doesn’t want to hear me tell him that I love him during the separation. But not saying it feels like a lie. It feels like playing games or holding back. Am I supposed to pretend that I don’t love him? Because I find that ridiculous. I do love him. And it seems silly to me that I am not supposed to say it every day in the same way that I have for many years. Do I have to stop?”

    That is really up to you. I would never tell someone what to do during their marriage or during their separation. I can tell you what came to be my opinion as the result of a similar situation that I was in. But, I know that all situations are different. So I can’t say that what worked for me will work for you.

    But, during my own separation, it eventually became very clear that my husband was not receptive to me acting in the same way that I did while we were still happily married. When I tried to act as if we were any other married couple or that nothing was wrong, he would act distant or he would start to avoid me. If I pushed, it would get even worse and I would have to work very hard to even get him to take my calls. Frankly, there were times when I could almost literally feel him wince when I told him I loved him.

    As hard as it was to accept, I started to realize that if I didn’t change some things, I might be making this situation a whole lot worse. So I made a conscious decision to back off some. Did this mean I didn’t love my husband? No, if anything, I loved him just as much if not more. But I knew that if I was going to have a chance to maintain that love, I was going to have to find the strategy that brought him closer to me rather than pushing further away.

    And when I tried to push my love on to him, this definitely made him pull further away. So, I toned down my demonstrations and declarations of love. I told myself that this was only temporary, but it was difficult. Still, I knew what was most important was my long term goal and not my declarations of love in the moment.

    My backing off did eventually make things better because it eventually made my husband more receptive to me again. And his being receptive to me meant that we got to spend more time together – which never would have happened if I had continued on with my pushing.

    I can’t tell you what will work in your own situation. I can only suggest that if you notice something not working, then it sometimes makes sense to test out something else – if only once. Perhaps next time you talk to your husband and it is time to sign off, you might try something like: “tonight, I’m not going to insist that I love you, even though I do. I sense that it makes you uncomfortable. But I didn’t want you to think that I was angry or anything. I’m just trying to respect your wishes and not push.”

    At this point, your husband could reassure you that the loving phrases are fine. Or, he may not say anything – in which case his silence speaks volumes. If you do decide to back off and you find that the next time you talk, he seems more comfortable, then you may speculate that backing off a little has helped.

    I know that it might seem weird and almost dishonest to hold back with your own spouse. But a separation can be a very fragile time in a relationship – especially when one spouse has asked for space or isn’t sure what he wants. It become my opinion that if backing off a little is what it took for my husband to eventually be available to me, I was willing to pay that price at the time. Because I knew that it was part of a long-term strategy that was going to mean that I wouldn’t have to hold back once we reconciled.

    Today, I tell him that I love him all of the time, so holding off was worth it to me. And I believe it helped. But every situation is different. In some situations, both spouses are perfectly comfortable with still saying they love one another. And that’s wonderful. But it was not my reality. Still, if every one is happy, then I don’t see any reason to hold back.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • My Opinion on Sex and Love

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    Sex is not the perfect way to express your love: Rather it’s the perfect way to express love’s feelings. It’s perfect between a husband and a wife, a boy and a girl. It’s not only a physical activity, instead of it mostly a spiritual integration of two souls. It joints the spirit of the people involve. Sex is not love and love isn’t sex. Many often muddle the difference between sex and love. Most people don’t perceive that there’s a difference between them. In this note I’ll give my view on why these things are different from one another.

    Let’s start with sex. It’s something that does not often slump real feelings, real relationship or even a committed. There are few peoples who seek enjoyment from one-night stands. Often many have a ‘friend with benefits’, that’s what I would put under the sex’s category. There are never any real or deep feelings; it’s only about the enjoyment of the act. Usually when people only search to have sex, there’s very little opposite play and intimacy afterwards, the cuddling and holding of one another, well that doesn’t happen often.

    Many people are happy with having sex only for pleasure, never caring for the emotional circumstance of being in love. Often some will lope partner to partner because that’s all they’re searching that’s the instant rush and release in the sex’s pleasure. I’m one of the ones who have never been capable to do this thing. I could never jump into a one-night stand and I could never only have a “friend with benefits”. These parts are the values I’ve about lovemaking. It also, for me, means more that my friend is in love with me, and sex isn’t only about enjoyment. It’s where making love comes into play.

    When two people are in love, and who share the emotional bond with one another, they superintendence very much about making their partner feel desired and taken care of. When an individual is in love makes love to their partner, they give all their needs, not only sexually. They’ll take time by doing sex and making their lover happy. They’re careful to their partner’s every desires and needs. They get more pleasure out of tolerable them then they do themselves.

    Often times, they don’t always need to be glad while making love. Making love between couple who are in love is often intimate and slow. After lovemaking, many people that love one another will clasp and cuddle their lover like a deeper form of close affinity afterwards. It also brings the lovers together and they interconnect deeper on that soulful bond.

    Which is more essential to you in marriage?

    Love, sex or nothing…

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    Source by Sushil Chand

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  • Interior Decorating Ideas For a Small Living Room

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    Are you looking for interior decorating ideas to use in a small living room? Small living rooms can look just as attractive as large living rooms. Small living rooms can be unique as well as have a certain character that is sometimes missing in a larger room.

    How do you decorate a small living room? I would suggest that you buy a large mirror which becomes the focal point in the room. Mirrors reflect light and add interest to the room.

    The next way to decorate a small living room is to change the furniture arrangement. You can move the furniture away from the wall, which is actually recommended for small rooms, or at least slant a couple of pieces of the furniture just to add personality to the room.

    Take a look at the accessories that you have in your small living room. If you have too many home décor accessories in a small room, they actually break up the space–so less is better. Look for quality accessories that you just love and want to display. Putting accessories in a grouping rather than scattering them throughout the room will make the room seem less cluttered.

    Another way to decorate a small living space and give the illusion of height and space in the room is to use crown molding. Crown molding is a wonderful way to make a room more attractive. The eye goes up to the top of the ceiling and gives the illusion of height. Crown molding can be painted the same color as the décor in the room, or you can use a regular wood grain molding which is wonderful addition to any room.

    A way to lighten a small living room and also give the feeling of spaciousness is to add sconce light fixtures, which bounce light off of the ceiling. The light goes up toward the ceiling. It gives a wonderful atmosphere in the room, and since the eye goes upward, the room seems taller and it adds ambiance to the room.

    Area rugs add interest and personality to a small room because of their pattern, texture and color. They also add a sense of depth to the room without taking space away from furniture and accessories.

    A very simple way to make a small living room sparkle is to simply wash the windows. Keep them sparkling clean, and make sure that all the shiny surfaces, such as mirrors, television screens and glass top tables are also shined and polished. This simple reminder gives any room in your home a neat, clean look.

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    Source by Lynn Cressy

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