Category: Lifestyle

  • How Do I Get My Wife to Come Back Home – Tips to Help Rebuild Your Marriage

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    How do I get my wife to come back home? Any man asking that is staring face first into a divorce. If your wife has moved out that means the state of your marriage is delicate at best. Maybe you told her to go or perhaps you begged her to stay. Regardless, now you’re faced with a future without the woman you really love. You obviously want her back so you two can start the process of rebuilding your broken marriage. It can happen but you have to be determined to put in the effort and understanding that it takes.

    Understanding how to get your wife to want to reconcile has a lot to do with recognizing and respecting her feelings at the moment. If things got to the point where it felt necessary for her to leave the family home, that speaks volumes about where you two were at. Obviously you weren’t getting along at all. Perhaps your days and evenings were filled with arguments and conflict. Maybe it reached a point where you two just stopped talking altogether. Before you can expect to move forward with repairing the relationship you have to acknowledge that she needs to not be with you. Her decision to leave has to be respected.

    Initiating contact again is something that should be done in a very specific way. You must start with an apology. Regardless of what you did wrong or what you two argued about the most, it’s important for you to acknowledge your part in that. Obviously, the apology that you’ll present will be different if she left because you cheated but essentially at its foundation it’s all about beginning the process of forgiveness and healing. Let her know that you regret your actions and you’ve learned from them. It’s important that she understands that you’re working hard to become a better person.

    Dating your wife again may seem like a foreign concept given the fact that you’ve been married for some time, but it has a lot of merit when it comes to getting close to her again. She needs to feel that you value her not only as a wife and mother but as a woman as well. If you show her that spending time alone with her is your priority, she’ll open back up. Make an effort to plan dates with her and be a gentlemen. If she sees hints of that man that she first fell in love with she’ll be more inclined to let her guard down and she’ll consider the idea of giving your marriage another try.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

    Views: 0

  • Saving a Long Distance Relationship: How Do You Know When It’s Heading For The Rocks?

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    When you or your significant other are forced to move away for whatever reason, the necessity of saving a long distance relationship is the last thing on your mind. However, the chances are that neither of you has any real idea how to make your long distance relationship work.

    Initially you’re both head over heels in love and, while you’re sad at the idea of being apart, you’re both determined that nothing will stop you from being together. You make all the usual promises to each other and for a while things are great. The problem is that in all probability you never got down to the nitty gritty reality of what it would actually be like to be hundreds or even thousands of miles apart, so you’re not prepared for the loneliness that inevitably comes as part of a long distance relationship package.

    The initial elation and determination to be together no matter what begins to fade slowly and inevitably, and that’s usually when the insecurities start to set in.

    You begin wondering what your partner’s up to. Perhaps they don’t appear to be missing you as much as you’re missing them; maybe they’re not available to talk when you need to. If you’re the one left behind you have the added knowledge that your lover has started a new job and of course you imagine them meeting lots of new people and having a really exciting time. Of course it’s not always the person left behind who has the problems. In your relationship, maybe you’re the one starting the new job and you don’t know anybody. Perhaps you think of your partner back at home surrounded by friends and family and you wonder if they are missing you like you’re missing them, or even if they’re thinking of you at all. But whatever your situation, that feeling of insecurity is horrible and so soul destroying.

    You want to talk to your partner but you’re struggling to communicate because you’re frightened of the potential fall-out; that if your lover knew how you really felt, then your relationship would end. At this point, saving a long distance relationship is still not on your mind because the chances are that you are burying your head firmly in the sand, not realizing that by not talking to each other, your relationship is heading inexorably to the rocks.

    Eventually loneliness gives way to frustration. You’re not getting what you want out of the relationship so you start to become resentful. Very often at this point it becomes all about you – what your lover wants doesn’t seem to matter.

    Slowly frustration begins to turn to anger. Everyone around you seems to be in a relationship in which they’re surgically glued to one another’s side. Your friends and family thinks you’re crazy and give you all kinds of well meaning advice; unfortunately, it’s mostly negative and probably doesn’t involve actually saving a long distance relationship!

    Whether you recognize it or not, you are now both firmly at the point of desperately needing to save your long distance relationship and, if neither of you take action, you begin to lose all sense of actually being in a relationship at all and drift towards the final stage in any long distance relationship break down – detachment.

    One or both of you allow the resentment and frustration to get the better of you and slowly begin to withdraw into yourself. Your communication dwindles to almost non-existent and when you do speak, neither of you have anything to say.

    Maybe at this point saving a long distance relationship seems almost impossible with everything seemingly working against you, but before you get on the phone and end it all, I want to say one final thing: It doesn’t have to be like that!

    Ask yourselves this question: Do you and your partner love each other? If the answer to that question is ‘yes’ then, believe me you can save your long distance relationship.

    If the love is still there underneath all of the crap that has gotten in the way, you really can halt the slide and pull it back together. Distance doesn’t have to be a deal breaker and you don’t have to be in the same room to share that special intimacy.

    It won’t happen overnight, but if you’re both truly prepared to work at it, you won’t only be saving a long distance relationship but making it better than you ever thought possible.

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    Source by Beverley Watts

    Views: 0

  • Emotional Resilience in Children

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    Emotional resilience is the ability to cope with stressful life experiences, disappointments, and challenges in an effective and meaningful way that helps to preserve self-esteem, build social aptitude, and prevent frustration, anger, and even depression. Emotional resilience learned early in life assists in recovering from misfortunes and disappointments, thus fostering emotional health.

    Teaching your child to be emotionally resilient will help him / her be in control and build confidence to work through challenging situations effectively. Becoming emotionally resilient in childhood will provide a basic foundation for your child's emotional health in adolescence and adulthood.

    Emotions shape your child's interactions with others and affect his or her behaviors resulting from those interactions. In order to prevent conflict, or deal with conflict effectively when it arises, your child should learn to understand his or her feelings, be able to identify them, and regulate them. It is important to teach children there is a whole gamut of emotions that can be expressed in various ways. However, knowing how to express them in a meaningful way will help your child in solving social conflicts and maintaining relationships. One way of promoting development of emotional competence is to help your child develop vocabulary that expresses feelings. Parents can also assist their children in recognizing various emotions and teaching them that emotions can be changed by their thinking.

    Emotions are driven by behaviors. However, children must learn that emotions should not take control over their actions. It is crucial for children to know that expressing feelings helps in preventing and resolving problems. They need to be taught that bottled-up feelings lead to misunderstandings, anxiety, anger, and depression.

    When your child does not express emotions, he or she is more likely to experience angry outbursts that might come from being sad, embarrassed, or frustrated. Perhaps, your child feels guilty about something he or she did, is afraid, or feels helpless and chooses to express those negative feelings of emotional stress with angry outbursts. This inability to deal with stress in a constructive way most of the time stems from the lack of understanding one's own emotions, emotions of others, and lacking the ability to express feelings effectively.

    Signs of Emotional Fragility

    – Regression of behaviors
    – Withdrawal
    – Excessive clinginess
    – Bedwetting
    – Nightmares
    – Aggression

    One of the most important things a parent can do to foster a child's healthy emotional development is to promote positive family communication. That includes positive reinforcement, which is praising your child for positive behaviors, giving encouragement, and avoidance of negative criticism when expected results are not achieved. Also, providing consistency is extremely important for a child's emotional health, as it aids in avoiding ambiguity and uncertainty. If a child knows what's expected of him or her, they will most likely comply, thus avoiding frustration, anger, and possibly humiliation.

    Younger children might be more open and willing to express their feelings. In adolescence, family communication might become more challenging as the teen tries to suppress their feelings in an attempt to resolve them alone. Parenting teenagers requires patience and the ability to be supportive. Frequently, conversation with your teen at home might be extremely difficult. However, your teen may try to open up while riding with you in a car where there is no eye contact, thus the confrontation seems to be less intimidating. Building a sound foundation of emotional resilience in childhood will help your adolescent achieve emotional health. Should getting through to your child become impossible, or he or she becomes withdrawn and exhibits signs of emotional instability, don't be afraid to seek help. You may start by talking to another family member, a friend, or a counselor.

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    Source by Monika B. Pis, Ph.D.

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  • Your Thoughts Plus Emotion Create Thought Forms

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    Think of a time you walked into a place and you felt peace surround you. Now think of a time when you felt discord surround you. Both times you experienced what is called thought forms. This is when the energy of your thoughts and feelings “take form.” An energy is created which is so strong it can be felt by others if they are paying attention.

    Creating a Negative Thought Form

    A passing thought, one without feeling, does not create a thought form. You need the power of your feelings to make such a creation. This is why it is crucial to manage your thoughts and emotions. What you hold in your mind surrounded by emotion stays with you. It can be supportive for you or it can hinder you.

    Let’s say you are having a bad day. Things didn’t go well at work. Your lunch ended up in your lap and there was a traffic snarl which prevented you from getting home as scheduled. And, yes, when you walked in an hour late, the dog hadn’t been able to hold it and had pooped in an inconvenient place.

    With each new thing that went wrong, your feelings of distress become stronger and more pronounced. You can almost feel a little black cloud of frustration or depression surround you. The longer this cloud of negative emotion surrounds you, the more difficult it is for you to pull yourself out of the emotional dumps.

    Transforming the Negative to a Positive

    To pull yourself out of the dark hole you find yourself, you need to get rid of the black cloud. How do you do that when one thing after another has gone wrong? It takes an act of will and determination on your part. Here are a few tricks.

    1. Focus on your heart. You will find that your mood lightens when you do this.

    2. Breathe in and out of your heart. This helps you to become even more centered.

    3. See those heavy feelings as a cloud and see them being washed out of your body and into the ground.

    4. Imagine a time of great joy, peace or relaxation. Really feel it and put a color to it.

    5. Allow that color to expand outwards and totally surround you.

    You’ve now changed the reality you created from one of darkness to one of joy.

    If you do this on a regular basis you will find yourself being more disciplined about the thoughts and feelings you have. You will become aware that they are transitory and you can change them to something that will move you forward in life.

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    Source by Cathy Chapman, Ph.D.

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  • 3 Attitudes You Need To Make Marital Conflict Resolution Work

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    One of the biggest contributors to divorce is fatigue and emotional exhaustion. Couples allow things to get so bad that by the time meaningful intervention is sought one or both are unwilling to do what is necessary. You might finally have a solution that works but no longer have the strength or will to act.

    It is very sad when you see a couple get to the point where they lose the will to keep trying. Your attitude will add energy to your relationship or add fuel to the many unresolved conflict causing issues. Trying to do the right thing with the wrong attitude will not bring back the love and passion in your marriage. The 3 attitudes that will help repair, protect and save your marriage are:

    An Attitude of Forgiveness

    As issues are identified they will be directly or indirectly attached to you or your spouse in most instances. If you start seeing yourself or your spouse as ‘The Problem’ this opens doors for resentment. In order to move forward you must have a heart of forgiveness.

    You must be mature enough mentally and emotionally to live out your vows of ‘for better or worse’. We must be able to wake up in the morning knowing that we will have an attitude of forgiveness towards any issue that may arise. Making a proactive decision to forgive prepares you mentally and emotionally to honestly deal with marital issues.

    An Attitude of Friendship

    One of the worst things about constant fights and conflict in marriage is feeling like you lost your best friend. You feel unable to freely express your love and affection. The home becomes a hostile environment that you want to avoid instead of a place of solace, love and passion.

    In marriage you will not always like each other. One of the marriage killers is when a couple stops being friends. Making a proactive decision to remain friends reminds your mind to keep doing nice things for the person you fell in love with, while you are working through an issue. You instinctively want to do nice things for a friend so do not get in the habit of seeing your spouse as the enemy.

    An Attitude of Fidelity

    Divorce happens when one person decides the best option is to leave the marriage. They feel like it is no longer worth it to remain in the relationship. Identification, isolation and improvement have to do with your approach to conflict resolution. Forgiveness, friendship and fidelity have to do with love.

    Marriages are built on love and managed by healthy approaches to everyday living and dealing with issues. It is difficult for a marriage to flourish in love when you have a list of things that will make you seek divorce. Making a proactive decision of fidelity reminds you of your commitment to work through every issue.

    It is impossible for any issue to get the upper hand in your marriage when the attitudes of forgiveness, friendship and fidelity are the foundation of your relationship. Change your attitude and change the course of your marriage.

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    Source by Kerwyn Joseph

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  • Online Dating – Needle in a Haystack?

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    No doubt about it, Internet dating has become a unique part of modern love. In fact, in New York, Internet dating has become so popular that it is now simply called ‘partner shopping’ or ‘hyper dating’.

    Online personal ads were one of the first niche markets on the web at the beginning of the net revolution and statistics now predict that 50% of single people will hook up with a partner online. However, with thousands of dating websites to choose from around the world, finding the right one can be difficult.

    If you’ve ever joined a general dating site you’ll know that trawling through a stream of profiles, with reams of personal information about housekeeping habits and suchlike, doesn’t mean that you will actually get along with someone. But the good news is that online dating is evolving, with recent trends showing a move towards specialist dating sites that aim to bring people with similar interests together.

    Sometimes linked to lifestyles, such as dating sites for bikers, interest-based dating sites are leading the way for a new generation of people looking for love on the worldwide web. With literally millions of people using the internet as a new social arena in which to make new friends and find a partner, people are discovering that there is a much better chance of making that all important connection through a specialist site where the members have shared interests.

    A recent survey by music-mate.com revealed that 80% of its members preferred interest-based dating sites, stating that they found it easier to make the first contact.

    Music-mate.com creator Diane Ainslie understands this new trend: ‘I’ve used the internet in the past to find a date and I really liked the idea of being able to meet up with people without all the usual fuss. But I often found I didn’t have a lot in common with the people I met. As a huge music fan, I realised that meeting people who shared a passion for the same music as me was a great basis to develop new relationships. You have something to talk about straight away!’

    And there’s the key. Joining a general dating site can be like visiting a strange city without a map. How do you even begin to find your way around? In choosing an interest-based site you’re starting on familiar ground. It’s easier to get talking and you’re more likely to meet someone you have something in common with. If half of all single people are using the Internet to find a partner, finding that special someone is like finding a needle in a haystack. It might just be time to jump on the latest bandwagon and find a dating site that interests you!

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    Source by Claire Gaskin

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  • How To Get Him To Make A Decision To Marry You In 30 Days

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    There is a way you can get him to marry you. You will understand and learn how and why certain things must be done to accomplish this. This method is fairly simple but it will take some courage on your part. It all depends on how badly you want to marry this man.

    Before we go any further, you need to make absolutely sure that this man is the one for you. You must be sure that this relationship is a good fit for you. Are your needs getting met? The simple fact that he has not married you, says that what he wants is more important than what you want. Don’t rationalize that your needs are not as important as his needs. That is a recipe for disaster. It is critical that you take some time to think seriously about this because there is no turning back.

    There is no such thing as a commitment phobic man who is afraid to commit. That is total hogwash. Do not accept any other excuses either. Because that is what it is, plain and simple, an excuse! He just doesn’t want to marry you and feels he has to give you some kind of reason. If you have made the mistake of moving in with him without at least an engagement ring, you are in a very frustrating and powerless position. He has no incentive to marry you because he is not gaining anything he doesn’t already have. If you are with him all the time and he knows you love him, he really doesn’t have anything to worry about. You need to change all this by being proactive instead of reacting to everything he does.

    These techniques work. They are time-tested and have worked down through the centuries. And this is why it is up to you to make sure that this is the right man for you. These techniques will not make him into a loving and kind man if he not already that when you marry him. So beware.

    What you need to do is absolutely make up your mind that this has gone on long enough and it is time he married you. If you truly believe this, he will sense you believe it too and that you really mean what you are saying to him. You need to tell him in a loving but firm manner that it is obvious that he will never marry you and that you have made up your mind that you are ready to find someone who will. Then you need to move out and not have any contact with him for 30 days, unless he is proposing marriage.

    You will be activating his fear of losing you and the life he has come to enjoy with you. This will cause him to do one of two things. One, he will ask you to marry him as he knows that is the only way he can maintain his life with you. Or, he will not respond and you will have your answer there as well, which will clearly reveal that he does not care enough to meet your needs. And do you really want a man like that? No.

    More than likely he will try to contact you repeatedly and will propose marriage or present you with an engagement ring. During this time you must not cave in. Remember that this is the only way you will get what you need. Congratulations! You had the courage to stand up for yourself and demand that your needs are as important as his.

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    Source by Betty L Nelson Adam

    Views: 0

  • Learning The Keys To Submission In Marriage

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    It is a divine law for wives to be submissive to their own husbands if they are to have a blissful marriage (Ephesians 5:22). Some wives would like to do so, but they do not know how. The keys to effectively submit to the one they love are here. Take them. Apply them. Enjoy that marriage of your dream.

    Submission is willingly putting oneself under an authority. The proud and ungodly, says it is foolish to be submissive, but to the humble and godly, it is wisdom. Every wise woman builds her house; but the foolish plucks it down with her own hands (Proverbs14:1). When we refuse to do God’s word we expose our lives to the influence of the devil, who comes in to steal, to kill and to destroy peace in marriages. God’s word is a road map to anyone who adopts it. Therefore, a wife’s submission to her husband is not to debase her in any way nor to advocate her husband’s supremacy. It is wisely recognising and fulfilling her complimentary role in the marriage union. If we will let this mind be in us, the struggle for supremacy, pride, arrogance, and rebellion in homes would stop. Let us examine some of those keys to learn.

    The first key is that submission must come from your heart. Until submission takes its root in your heart it will not endure when pressure comes. This is why women who conditionally submit to their husbands soon become rebellious when the motivation for it fades. Make your heart tender with the Word of God. You might ask how? Use the Word of God. When you hear the Word of God on submission, receive it with meekness and joy; keep it and do it patiently until the fruits become evident for all to see. Learn to diligently guard your heart against the subtle voice of the devil trying to steal those lofty Words you have heard.

    Meditation on the Word on submission is a second key you need to learn. Ensure you meditate on the word of God you hear until it becomes a part of your being so that it can bear fruit in your marriage. Speak words that will boost the morale of your spouse. Speak edifying words to your marriage. Take positive actions that will truly prove you are the submissive wife of God’s dream.

    The third step is to take practical steps against rebellion in your heart. One of such steps is to mind the company you keep. The bible says evil communication corrupts good manners. It is time to deprogram your life of those worldly associations that have programmed you for rebellion against the peace of your mind. Let those of them in captivity seek deliverance. You are a free child of God. So, be it! Remove those books and movies that are contrary to the Word of God from your shelf. You don’t need them. Take a stand. It is in your own interest.

    Added to the above is absolute love for your spouse. Perfect love casts out fear, the fear of dominion. If you truly loved him you would submit to him in all things. You will not be afraid of him dominating you because submission attracts love. Let your love for him be tangibly expressed. Overcome that fear with your expressed love.

    Above all, both partners should submit to God. The husband’s submission to God will attract same level of submission from his wife. Abraham submitted to God and Sarah submitted to Abraham.

    In conclusion, every great marriage must make God’s word the standard for living. God’s word advocates submission as the key to a successful marriage. Therefore accept it.

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    Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

    Views: 0

  • Lifestyle Diseases

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    There have been increasing reports of several lifestyle diseases affecting the people from several countries of the world. One of the main reasons for this is lack of time to think about good health. Some of the other reasons include, lack of awareness, bodily disorders, excessive work related stress, etc. The rural uneducated people do not follow the basic principles of nutrition. Most of them are also poor.

    Hyper tension and excessive blood sugar levels are the most important risks affecting the lives of many people. Besides several other contributing factors, excessive salt in the body seems to be facilitating increase in the levels of blood pressure. Kidney is the vital organ which does control blood pressure levels. According to the medical researchers, the readings above 140/90 are known as the hyper tension. lesser salt intake, relaxation, drinking green tea, consuming two or three garlic cloves in the morning, etc are some of the natural remedies Balanced diet or nutritious food and brisk walking are also helpful. Avoiding the risky decisions, planning the work perfectly, avoiding disappointment, inclusion of fun in one’s life, meditation, yoga, management of time effectively, healthy inter personal skills,etc would also aid in reducing unnecessary stress.

    Good sleep can reduce higher glucose levels. Our blood needs only certain minimum levels of glucose. The excessive amounts can cause several health problems. The excessive glucose in the blood would lead to its clotting. The body might lose its immunity. Consuming our food at regular intervals would go a long way in reducing the risk of high glucose levels. Natural herbs such as neem leaves, lady finger, garlic, onion, green tea, etc are of great help to maintain normal blood sugar levels.

    Obesity is one of the major factors in reducing the effectiveness of the people. It is also responsible for the onset of the above mentioned health hazards. Several factors do play a role in the increase in our body’s weight. Many people seem to be getting good awareness about the ill effects of excessive weight.

    Stroke, cardio vascular diseases, loss of eye sight, etc are some of the consequences of improper lifestyle. Medical scientists do suggest to include more vegetables in the diet. Stress seems to be basically the mind’s problem. Higher glucose levels too cause stress.

    Proper medication, nutritious diet, regular exercise, etc would go a long way in maintaining the normal levels of both glucose and salt.

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    Source by Tirumala Prasad

    Views: 0

  • The 8 P’s of Success

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    Every time I try to cook rice, I either end up having mini popcorns or my rice end up turning into a thick paste of porridge. Trust me, I have tried and you can say I haven’t succeeded yet. Success, according to Oxford dictionary, is achieving something that you have been trying to do or get. Though this is not exhaustive, here are the 8 P’s of Success.

    1. Purpose

    Find and have something worth living and dying for. Your purpose could be raising your children or making a difference in other people’s lives. When you find your purpose, life takes on a new and different meaning.

    2. Passion

    Sleep, walk, talk and see yourself achieving your vision and goals. Say you want to be a better parent or salesperson, the more you repeat and affirm this to yourself and those near you, the better off you are. Constant affirmations help to remind us of our goals.

    3. Persistence

    Don’t give up even when you don’t see results. Most of the time, results don’t appear in relation to the efforts you might be putting into achieving your desired goals. The good thing is; something is happening beneath the surface and you need to keep doing your best in order to see your desired results.

    4. Practice

    Keep working. We have all heard the saying, if at first you don’t succeed; keep trying, again and again. Constant practice helps teach us how to do it better. Make sure you keep going whether there are results or not.

    5. Patience

    Be patient with those who should (but don’t understand) your vision or goal. And above all, be patient with yourself. Often when people don’t affirm us or fail to recognize and appreciate our efforts, it isn’t cause we are failures. It could be because they don’t understand know how best to encourage or affirm us. Look at it this way. The fact that you are having an umbrella doesn’t stop the rain from falling from the skies! You should, in like manner keep going.

    6. People

    Have people around you, even those you cannot stand because they will help you to improve. Seek their opinion, listen and soldier on knowing that no man has succeeded in becoming an island. Read books, listen to audio tapes, ask questions and attend motivational speaking engagements.

    7. Prayer

    Involve God in everything you do by seeking His guidance, provision, wisdom and the grace to keep going on.

    8. Plunge in

    Launch into what you want to do and just get it done. Do not give procrastination a foothold in your life. Do not wait for the perfect and ideal situation, environment or time. Just go for it and give it your best. Remember, you don’t have to see it on your family tree to attempt it.

    “The person you struggle with the most, has the most to teach you… about yourself.” – Shawne Duperon

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    Source by James Odhiambo

    Views: 0