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Category: Lifestyle

  • Mexican Marriage Traditions

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    There are many different cultures around the world who institute various traditions involving weddings, with one of the most interesting taking place in Mexico. Here are five of the most popular Mexican marriage traditions and customs, some of which are still followed to this day.

    WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?

    Typically, when it comes to more traditional types of Mexican weddings, the father of the bride will normally be the one who covers all of the expenses for the entire ceremony. However, in most cases, members of the families of both the bride and the groom will generally come together to help pay for the cost of the ceremony. There are even some cases where members of the wedding party will join the family in helping to cover the cost of the entire ceremony as well. There are also some traditions in which the bridesmaids and groomsmen are paired together and assigned certain roles in helping to pay for the ceremony.

    BRIDAL ATTIRE

    Mexican brides traditionally will wear light blue slips underneath their wedding gowns, while the groomsmen will wear ties and cummerbunds that match the colors of the dresses worn by the bridesmaids. In terms of the flower girl and ring bearer, they will often been seen dressed very similarly to the bride and groom themselves.

    APPROVAL OF THE FATHER

    Before proposing marriage to the woman that they love, most men around the world traditionally will seek permission from the woman’s father and obtain their blessing. This is something that is actually a custom in Mexico. However, in this country, it is taken a step further, as not only does the man go to the woman’s home, but he also brings his family with him for the occasion as a sign of respect, especially if the two families have yet to actually meet. In addition, if the woman is part of an extended family, her grandfather also has a say in the situation. Once the woman’s father has given his approval for his daughter to be married, the two families will then be presented with an opportunity to discuss possible dates for the wedding to take place.

    WEDDING PROCESSION

    On the day of the wedding, the bride will venture to the location of the wedding, accompanied by members of her family. The groom will do the same thing as well. This custom is a way for the family to show the town that they are proud of the person who is to be getting married, whether it is their son or their daughter.

    WEDDING RECEPTION

    Traditionally, Mexican wedding receptions can go on for as long as they want to – even until the wee hours of the morning! Three of the most important aspects of this event are music, food, and drinks, because in Mexican culture, this is indeed supposed to be a major celebration due to the importance of marriage.

    To know more about Mexican wedding traditions http://www.singlemantravel.com/mail-order-brides/latin-brides/mexican-brides/

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    Source by Robert Topper

    Views: 0

  • Lifestyle Changes

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    Lifestyle Choices: Learn to Overcome Emotional Overeating

    Overcoming emotional overeating can seem overwhelming, and setbacks can be expected. But the good news is, there are lifestyle choices that you can make to help overcome this problem.

    The key word is choice – you can choose to follow a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes it helps to break things down into small, specific steps you can take (just trying to lead a “healthier lifestyle” is a bit vague!). Following are some of these specifics. And remember, setbacks and relapses are not unusual. Don’t beat yourself up; just start fresh tomorrow.

    It is never too late to start afresh and start feeding your body with the nutrients it needs to sustain itself and function better as a whole.

    Under-nourished people usually do not have the time or knowledge to ingest proper food and are thus losing out on a healthy lifestyle and risk putting their lives in jeopardy.

    Exercise

    Experts are in general agreement that regular exercise three to five days a week is most beneficial. This exercise should consist of at least 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise (such as vigorous walking, jogging, biking, etc.) followed by some light toning or weight training. Committing to this regimen full-force is not necessarily the best way to go; if you can only exercise once or twice a week, that’s still better than nothing and will hopefully pave the way for more in the future.

    Exercise is said to relieve emotional overeating in several ways. For one, exercise produces endorphins which are the body’s natural “feel good” hormones. For another, exercise prevents boredom and mindless eating, which is what you might be doing if you weren’t exercising! And finally, exercise will likely boost your self-image, helping to break the cycle of low self-esteem and poor self-image that “feeds” emotional overeating disorder.

    Nature

    Never underestimate the healing power of nature! For those with emotional overeating disorder, choosing to spend more time out in nature can be particularly beneficial. After all, in the natural realm there are no media messages to mess with your self-image, and being in nature connects you to your origins and the origins of food.

    Some experts theorize that detachment from food and its natural source plays a role in emotional overeating disorder. Getting involved in nature and exploring and appreciating it can go a long way toward reconnecting with our biologically normal view of food. Maybe you can kill two birds with one stone and do your regular exercise outdoors!

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    Source by Michael Oscar Pisani

    Views: 0

  • Success! The Glenn Bland Method

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    In the early 70s there was a book published by Glenn Bland, called “Success! The Glenn Bland Method. This little 175 page handbook as fundamental skills and systems for succeeding. Glenn Bland became a very successful person in the Life Insurance industry, but his thoughts and ideas are easily transferable to any endeavor that someone wishes to partake in.

    Granted the book is a bit dated since its first copyright was in 1972, but success is universal. One thing that Glenn addresses very directly is the mindset of success. Much of what he talks about harkens back to think and grow Rich by Napoleon Hill for example anything you can think of believing you can achieve. Another idea is that men with goals and plans dictate to others while men who have no goals and plans are dictated to. And also the concept of quit thinking about all the reasons you can’t do something and think of all the reasons why you can.

    Mr. Bland and had quite a bit of research, no doubt, not directly for this book to but just to be successful in his life. One thing he says is you are the sum total of your thoughts, if you think a negative terms you will achieve negative results but if you think in positive terms you will achieve positive results. In short “We become what we think about.” He quoted Emerson who said “a man is what he thinks about all day long.” He also quoted from Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius who said “a man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.” Another quote that I liked in the book was from William James who said “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter the lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”

    If you are a student of success and wish to read another book with some good ideas of how to succeed in whatever endeavors he you are taking on Success! The Glenn Bland Method, how to set goals and make plans that really work, maybe just the book you are looking for.

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    Source by Philip Kempf

    Views: 0

  • Numerology’s Secret Strength – Your Habit Challenge

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    Where do you turn in times of crisis? How do you find the inner strength to face problems which are beyond your normal strength? Numerology can tell you where your hidden strength lies, ready to come forth in the face of problems beyond your normal resources. This hidden strength is known as your Habit Challenge. This ability is also known as the Submerged Characteristic or Habit number. Normally it lays dormant, hidden in everyday life until you truly need it; Then it blossoms becoming a useful tool to be called on.

    Finding your Habit Challenge

    This is one of the simplest calculations in Numerology. You simple count the number of letters in your use name and then reduce the value with fadic addition. Your use name is what your friends call you, or how you introduce yourself. Note that since this can change through out your lifetime, your Habit Challenge will change as well. As an example, actress Angelina Jolie has a Habit Challenge value of (4) as shown below.

    Angelina Jolie (Habit Challenge) = (8 + 5) = (13) = (4)

    Habit Challenge (1) – Originality

    People with this value respond to crisis by turning to their originality. They are best served by looking to themselves to find the answers they need, usually to the complete surprise of those around them.

    Habit Challenge (2) – Collaborator

    People with this value respond to crisis by teaming up with others. They are best served by being a good follower and trusting their partners to direct them in reaching their goal. If a need for diplomacy occurs, they are truly in their element and will bring good results.

    Habit Challenge (3) – Creativity

    People with this value respond to crisis by turning to their imagination. If there is an artistic solution to their problems, then they will solve them. These souls will also find an ability to put aside their fears and not take their problems seriously, letting them work with little pressure.

    Habit Challenge (4) – Analysis

    People with this value respond to crisis by turning to pure logic and their analytical skills. They will be able to turn off their emotions and work towards a practical and orthodox solution to their problems. They will never break down or lose their head until the crisis has passed.

    Habit Challenge (5) – Flexible

    People with this value respond to crisis by being flexible. They will accept change and take risk as necessary to reach their goals. If there is a New or unusual solution to the crisis, they will find it. These people will exhibit great versatility and quick thinking throughout the crisis.

    Habit Challenge (6) – Responsible

    People with this value respond to crisis by showing sympathy for others and taking on responsibility for the problem they face. These souls will work to shield their friends and family from the affects of the crisis and offer to sacrifice themselves to resolve the problem.

    Habit Challenge (7) – Meditation

    People with this value respond to crisis by using meditation or other techniques to seek knowledge from within themselves to resolve their problems. These souls will reject advice which they have not asked for, and instead look to their intuition for ways to solve their problems. They will always act with perfect timing while the crisis last.

    Habit Challenge (8) – Ruthless

    People with this value respond to crisis by being ruthless and efficient in their actions toward solving their problems. These souls are willing to set ambitious goals and work tirelessly until they are met. They will exhibit determination and infinite patience until the crisis has passed.

    Habit Challenge (9) – Idealist

    People with this value respond to crisis by being an idealist. They will be broad minded in their dealings with others, and generous with their time and resources while the crisis last. These souls will react dramatically with great flare towards those who oppose them until their problems are resolved.

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    Source by Keith Abbott

    Views: 0

  • He Hasn’t Said I Love You Yet? What This Really Means for Your Relationship

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    There’s a very special moment in every romantic relationship that a woman holds her breath for. It’s when your man tells you he loves you. Ideally, he’ll say it first and it will happen in a wonderful, memorable place. You’ll remember everything about the second those fateful words left his lips. The shirt he was wearing, how his hair was styled and what his cologne smelled like will all become important nuances of the moment when you both knew that you were going to be life partners. It all sounds so dreamy and ideal, doesn’t it? From experience, most of us know that it typically doesn’t go that way. He’ll usually blurt out the words at the most inopportune time like when we’re stopped at a red light or during a football game. Regardless of the circumstances of the delivery, the words are still meaningful and relationship changing. Sadly, not all men reach a point where they feel comfortable sharing those words. If it’s now been months or even years and he hasn’t said I love you yet, what exactly does that mean for you and your future with him?

    Never Forget How Different You and Your Man Are

    I’ve often heard women say that they wish men were more like them. In some ways, that would be wonderful, but essentially we love men because they are men. Your man doesn’t process his feelings the same way you do. If he falls in love with you at first sight, chances are very good that he’s not going to share that news with you until months into the relationship. The same is true of the man who falls in love with his woman at a slow pace. He’s not going to give you updates about what he’s feeling. Men just aren’t wired that way.

    Sharing deep and meaningful feelings to a man makes him feel emotionally vulnerable. It’s very much like he’s taking the armor off his heart and he’s putting himself in the line of fire. If you don’t react favorably to his declaration of adoration or if you say something hurtful, it will pain him in a way that nothing else could. A man needs to feel very secure in his relationship before he’ll be ready to blurt out that he loves you.

    Pay Close Attention to His Actions Rather Than His Words

    So much can be gained from really paying close attention to how your man acts when he’s around you. There are certain behavior patterns that sync with a man who is truly and madly in love. You may believe that he’s not in love unless he says the words, but don’t discount how he treats you. For a man who is struggling with opening himself up to the point where he does indeed feel very vulnerable, his actions can give you great insight into what is in his heart.

    A telling example is the man who rushes through his day so that he can spend as much time as possible with the woman he adores. Nothing matters quite as much to him as seeing her smiling face at the end of his workday. The same is true of the man who sends a few text messages or emails during the day. His mind is clearly on the woman he cares for. Any small gestures like this should be viewed for what they are and that’s a strong sign that his heart is focused on the woman in his life.

    See His Commitment to You as a Sign of What’s in His Heart

    If a man has stopped dating other women and his focus is always just on you, he’s smitten. Men are notorious for wanting to play the field. Once a man stops looking, thinking about and seeing other women you should take note of that. He may not have said that he loves you outright but the fact that he’s lost interest in other attractive women speaks volumes about how he views you.

    This is especially clear if he’s suggested that you don’t see other guys or that you two just date exclusively. If he does mention this, it obviously means that he wants you to himself and that generally has a lot more to do with a man’s heart than his ego.

    A man in love wants to draw a tight circle around the woman who is the center of his world. He doesn’t want the threat of any other men on the horizon and he doesn’t have eyes for any other women either. His focus is clear and he’ll ask you to focus on him too.

    Be Wary of a Man Who Doesn’t Seem Connected Emotionally to You

    As much as you want to hope that he does love you, even if he has yet to say it, you do need to be mindful of the fact that his reluctance to express it is based on the fact that he just doesn’t feel it. If you’ve told your boyfriend that you love him and you’re met with dead silence, or he changes the subject very quickly, it’s easy to jump to the assumption that he isn’t in love and just is very uncomfortable talking about the subject at all.

    Some men will work hard at avoiding any discussion about feelings. They’ll say things like, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship yet, ” or “love is overrated.” If your guy has expressed similar sentiments to you, you have every right to be discouraged by that. He’s telling you, in a very roundabout and non-compassionate way that he’s just not feeling the same things you are.

    It’s up to you to determine whether or not you want to continue to invest yourself in a relationship like this. Granted, over time his position may change and he may decide that he does indeed love you. Perhaps a bit of time apart, as in a short-term relationship “break” might help him see the light. There’s a chance it won’t though.

    Just remember that all men are different and even though some are quick to say those three meaningful words, other men just can’t fathom saying, “I love you,” to any woman unless they’re on the verge of proposing to her. It’s up to you to decipher your man’s actions and read between the limes to truly see what’s in his heart.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

    Views: 0

  • Anal Sex: Here’s How To Make Your Woman BEG YOU For It – YES, Really – BEG YOU FOR IT

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    You may think that the title of this article sounds too good to be true – but it’s 100% serious. You are about to discover exactly how to make your woman beg you for anal sex.

    If you want to do your woman ‘up the back door’ but she isn’t currently too happy about the idea, here is how to make her want anal sex.

    Most guys approach the issue of anal sex with their woman totally the wrong way. Here are a few examples of common methods that men use to try to get their woman to have anal sex with them.

    If you are currently using any of the following ideas, stop it straight away:

    Mistake #1: They try to persuade their woman to have anal sex with them by using logical arguments. For a woman sex is virtually 100% emotional. Therefore, logical arguments are a total waste of time.

    Mistake #2: Some men just try to ‘slip it in the back door’ when they are making love to them and hope their woman just lets them carry on with it. This is a terrible idea and one that you must avoid because it will probably hurt your woman and this could turn her off the idea of anal sex for a very long time.

    Worse still, it may break the sexual trust that you have with your woman. And when you lose that all important trust, you can say goodbye to your woman doing the really dirty, naughty stuff (like ‘back door action’) with you.

    So now that you know how not to try to get your woman to have anal sex with you, I can share the secret of how to make your woman beg you for anal sex.

    Pay attention, this is going to be fun…

    For starters, stop viewing anal sex as something that you need to ‘win’ from your woman and something that at best she’ll tolerate in order to allow you to have a good time. There isn’t a real man on the planet who thinks like that.

    Instead, adopt the belief that you are going to cause your woman to link massive amounts of pleasure to anal sex.

    That is the most important step, so I’ll repeat it – you are going to cause your woman to link massive amounts of pleasure to anal sex.

    And they way you do this is in very small steps.

    You cannot expect her to go from having never had anything up her butt, to taking your whole ‘tool’ all in one night.

    It ain’t gonna happen.

    No, no, no – your game plan for back door action has to be much cleverer than that. But don’t worry; I have already got the game plan for you, so all you have to do it put it into action…

    The 5 Step Plan To Make Your Woman Beg You For Anal Sex

    – Step 1: Use your tongue to give your woman oral pleasure, wait until she is just about to come and then gently rub her asshole with your finger. Keep rubbing it as she comes and you have started the process of getting her to link pleasure to her ass.

    – Step 2: Do the same as step one, but this time insert the tip of your finger into her butt as she is about to come and carry on doing it during her orgasm.

    – Step 3: Repeat the process again, this time inserting much more of your finger (all of it if possible), into her ‘back door’ as she gets on the verge of orgasm and during her orgasm

    – Step 4: Get a butt plug (start with a small one) and get her used to taking this up her ass. Be sure to insert the butt plug as she is about to come and during her orgasm. This way she links massive pleasure to her ass being touched by you

    – Step 5: Get your woman extremely turned on and wet. Give her a clitoral orgasm (with anal fingering) and then give her a deep spot orgasm. Next, bring out the lube and attempt to put your tool in her back door (use the doggy style position).

    Chances are that she’ll help you get inside her and totally enjoy the process. If she struggles to take you, repeat steps 3 and 4 and then retry step 5. Sooner or later she will beg you to take her in her butt.

    I’m the first to admit that this process is not set in stone.

    You have to be flexible in your approach. But this IS the way to do it if you want your woman to absolutely LOVE it when you take her in the butt.

    After-all, do you really want her to just oblige you because you begged for it, OR do you want to expertly and patiently make her crave back door action?

    If you want to make her crave it, use this 5 step process and be ready to repeat certain steps if need be. At the end of the day, it’s all good fun!

    Let me know how you get on.

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    Source by Adam A Armstrong

    Views: 0

  • Use Caution With Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) in Living Wills

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    All people including lawyers need to use caution with Living Wills and the Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) clause. Our relative who was an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) for 17 years said he would not sign a DNR because he thought if he did that it would allow physicians to cause his death. We respected his decision but could not believe that physicians who mainly preserve life would be anxious to end life. However, it turns out he was correct, a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) document does give a nursing home or a physician a green light to determine when or if a person can get medical care to preserve life.

    When you are signing paper work to place your loved one in a nursing home they will tell you how humane a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) clause is, not requiring Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) and/or a defibrillator which can break your loves one’s ribs. However, they do not inform you how bad it is for your loved one if they lose their mental or physical faculties unable to communicate their wishes for medical care and uncaring people determine the DNR means that they do not want medical care to extend their lives. Although my wife had a power of attorney requesting medical care for her Father, the Nursing Home staff just ignored us and our attempt to preserve the life of our family member.

    It turns out they had our relative sign a DNR while in a mental fog of an infection. The physician made a misdiagnosis claiming this patient’s daughter (my wife) was mentally ill for trying to honor her Father’s last wishes. She could not adequately communicate with her Father so she had reservations about sanctioning an amputation of his leg without his consent which I thought was prudent. This physician had never even met or talked to my wife and had no psychiatric credentials we are aware of. But when a physician makes a notation in a medical file it has powerful weight with a Court even if the information is false. So the nursing home staff took the physicians view declaring my wife crazy for trying to preserve the life of her Father thus over ruling her rights as a power of attorney and were going to legally expunge the life of her Father who wanted to live.

    Thus, a DNR in some circumstances can be more powerful than a power of attorney. I do not believe we are the only victims of this abuse of a DNR clause that some misguided people use to prematurely extinguish the value of human life. The common practice with the fervent sales pitch to get family members to sign a DNR out of humanity may be valid to a certain extent, but it can also be abused by people who believe they have the right to determine when a person dies.

    Including a clause or adding a hand written notation that the DNR does not give any party the right to deny medical care to your loved one is advisable. A DNR has the ability to convert a physician or nursing home staff into a psychopath and you should have reservations about signing such a document.

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    Source by Dale Adams

    Views: 0

  • Old World Style Kitchen Designs

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    With the emergence of new styles and modern amenities, today’s kitchens have undergone complete transformation. Along with the appliances, the set ups of the tiles, boards and kitchen counters also have been reformed. Even so, there are certain individuals who prefer to give their kitchens an authentic and traditional look and hence, the Old World style kitchens have been successful in sustaining their standing.

    Old World kitchens were designed in a unique manner. They typically were heavily decorated with distinctive door styles, layered finishes, and stacked with moldings to provide a visual feast. The most frequently used wood for the Old World furniture was either Oak or Cherry. The Old World style kitchen accessories included copper posts, baskets, chopping blocks, crocks, and antique serving pieces. The floors were made either of tiles or wood finishing. The wood and tile finishing differed in darkness level, distressing, sandthrough, paint, and edging. The walls of the kitchen were painted with faux finishes, stucco, or textured finishes. The hardware was filled with hammered distressed iron pieces, and heavy bulky pieces. The kitchen designs usually consist of hearth like cooking centers, loose furniture pieces and tables used as islands, but had ample of open storage areas.

    The Old World style kitchens incorporated moldings from the ceiling in large stacked molding combinations, crown posts, large arches, or beamed ceilings. The countertops of such kitchens were preferably in any of the three options of stone, rustic tile and wood.

    The Old World style kitchens were more suitable for big and large households and were not affordable styles for small homes. The original beauty of these kitchens can be still seen in some houses, which were built in the 1800s. They are often termed as dark ages kitchens because of the antique and ancient feel they provide to the entire house.

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    Source by Damian Sofsian

    Views: 0

  • Overcoming Mindset Challenges

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    We all have those days, we drop our heads and get down on ourselves; you might even let out a few expletive words for good measure. Our pickleball play is just not up to our, or the USAPA player rating standard. It’s frustrating. I’ll let you in on a secret I learned long ago from a coach who pushed us to achieve; your state of mind or your mindset, plays an enormous role in your successes and failure.

    Carol Dweck, author of Mindset, identifies 2 types of mind-sets; fixed and growth. The fixed mindset has shaped you from birth, it is what you are and has defined your belief in your potential. An innate conviction fashioned from external influences and internally interpreted. A fixed mindset, sees obstacles when faced with change and challenges and therefore will interpret failure as self-defeating in the lack of abilities. It’s like looking on the other side of the court and thinking that the grass is greener – your opponents seem to have all the right moves and it’s your lack of something that is keeping you from winning.

    On the other hand, the growth mindset is one that is embryonic. Here is where belief in ourselves can help us adapt and grow in the ways we want by developing our talents through hard-work and dedication. Learning to love our development playing pickleball and also developing a resilience to loss is the key.

    Hear Those “Voices”

    Learning to overcome a fixed mindset challenge begins with learning to control your emotions and then you can achieve optimal performance during competition. First, you need to pay attention to those negative voices; you know the one’s – from family members that expressed failure or the one’s from coaches that uttered a lack of talent. There may have even been laughter from classmates or club memberships. A mentor who would snap when you hit a setback. You may have developed a reactive “habit” – automatic response to an emotional stimuli. Pushing those old suppressed buttons will give you a release and an understanding but despite their best intentions, this can also trigger an emotional upheaval, easily sweeping you away. Fortunately there is one way to stop the spiral of uncontrollable emotional reactions – refocusing. Consciously stepping back to draw your focus into your senses and the physical effects they may manifest; elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, nausea, tight or tense muscles, anxiety, and shallow breathing.

    Acknowledge and Accept

    Staying in the present moment, acknowledging that these physical effects are poignant, so you can process the information as if you are a doctor observing a patient. Comprehend your emotional arousal as an imaginary threat, and your intensified state of mental stress or physical excitement is a normal response that can be reduced by controlling your emotions. Slow down. Accept that you can help your brain learn to process new “habits” to effectively stay grounded; stretch and breathe, visualize or focus on energizing cues that epitomize how you want to perform or transfer negative energy to positive energy.

    Choice

    You have a choice; interpret negative challenges or setbacks from a lack of talent fixed mindset or from a positive aptitude growth mindset. When you doubt your talent, change your focus – with time and effort, believe you can learn a particular skill or achieve a goal. If you hit a setback or face criticism, keep learning and persevere.

    When the grass on the “other side” draws my attention, I stop and reframe – finding the courage in myself to think of the “water”, or successes that keeps my grass green. I still find myself under stress, and I still hear the “voice” of my fixed mindset. I have learned to face the criticism; sometimes old responses rear their ugly head and I get angry – hitting the ball without thinking and making unforced errors. Other times I am able to put those voices in their place. I interpret my challenges, and setbacks then regain my emotional control. It’s all very personal.

    Over time, learning to take on the pickleball challenge wholeheartedly, gaining wisdom from setbacks, and acting on the criticisms you face by embracing the growth mindset can make it work for you.

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    Source by Patricia H Kuhnen-Beaver

    Views: 0

  • I’m Afraid My Husband Has Moved On And That It’s Too Late To Get Him Back: Insights That Might Help

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    I often hear from wives who want to know when it’s too late to get their husband back. Some tell me that, in their minds, it is too late because their husband has seemed to “move on.” I often hear comments like “We’ve been separated for six months. I think my husband has started seeing someone else. I’m starting to think that this is the end and that it’s too late for us. If someone has moved on, does that mean the end of the marriage?”

    Another example is something like: “My husband keeps telling me that we’re over and that it’s too late to do anything to save this marriage. Yesterday, he told me that he was moving on and that I should do the same thing. But I’m not sure how I can do this when it’s never going to be over for me. What can I do?”

    The common denominator in all of these questions and comments is that what the person asking really wants to know is when is it too late to save your marriage. Do you reach that “too late” point when your spouse tells you they have moved on? Do you have to take their word for it?

    Of course, I can’t definitively answer these questions for anyone because the answer depends on the specific people involved and the situation that they are in. But, I can offer you a perspective from my experiences and observations, which I’ll do in the following article.

    Sometimes, Couples Do Reconcile After One Of Them Has “Moved On”: If there’s anything that I know for sure in this situation, it’s that it is possible for things to change. Feelings change. Perceptions change. Situations change also. Just because someone is proclaiming or insisting something today, this doesn’t mean that they can’t do a complete about face tomorrow.

    I have seen divorced couples reconcile. I’ve seen couples who have been remarried to other people (sometimes for decent periods of time) decide to get back together. This doesn’t happen in every case, of course. But it most certainly can happen. Sometimes, there’s a change in circumstances which bring about a change of feelings. Other times, it happens spontaneously. But, much of the time, it’s part of a master plan meant to bring about small, gradual, and yet dramatic changes.

    Why Hanging On Too Tightly Can Sometimes Backfire: Wives in this situation often tell me that they just can not accept that it’s over or that he has moved on. I do understand this as I was in these shoes and I know how frustrating and painful this whole process can be. However, I can also tell you that I hear from husbands in this situation too and it’s my experience and opinion that clinging too tightly or “refusing” to accept what he’s telling you will often make him feel less loving or receptive toward you rather than more so.

    I know that it can be difficult to take step back or to pause when you’re so afraid that the second you do, he really will be gone. But sometimes, you just have to ask yourself if clinging so tightly has been working for you. Take a long look to see if your previous methods have really gained you anything.

    Sometimes, if you are honest and can maintain a little distance, you can see that actually, you’ve only been making things worse. It’s really important to ask yourself if the attempts you’ve been making have been bringing him closer to you or improving things or if they’ve been pushing him further away and deteriorating things. If this is the case, sometimes, you come to realize that trying something new isn’t as risky as it may have first appeared.

    Backing Off Or Taking Pause Is Not The Same As your Moving On: I sometimes have wives tell me things like: “maybe he’s moved on, but I will never be able to. I just can’t give up on our marriage or let go no matter what he says.” Another example is: “his moving on doesn’t mean that I have to.” All of these points are valid, but nothing says that you have to broadcast this to him. Because, when you’re asserting that you are absolutely not going to move on, then sometimes he will come to oppose you even more and think that he needs to ratchet up his efforts to change your mind. This of course, makes him move further away from you.

    So, there are times when you are better off just telling yourself that, although you know full well how you feel, you’re no longer going to keep repeating this to him when he already knows it anyway. There’s nothing wrong with appearing to back off when you know all along that your plan is to gain some ground. And, sometimes you need a pause to gain some perspective and calm.

    Taking time for yourself and taking a break from all of the drama can sometimes actually improve the situation. And sometimes, when you are suddenly silent or absent, your husband suddenly becomes interested again. This is what happened in my case, although it wasn’t by design.

    No matter which way you chose to go, it’s my experience that you are almost always better off if you are able to maintain your respect and dignity. You want to portray yourself in the strongest way possible and this often requires you to act “as if” when you just aren’t feeling it or aren’t all that confident. Sometimes, it helps to remember the person your husband loved once upon a time and to show him that person when the opportunity genuinely presents itself.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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