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  • Should I Still Be Saying "I Love You" To My Separated Spouse?

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    When you are in the middle of a separation that you never wanted in the first place, it can be tempting to want to remind your spouse that they are still married to someone who still loves them very much. I know first hand that there can be a real worry that if they are outside of your presence, they will begin to forget what they loved about you. Or they will find that the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” is actually true.

    So it may be your normal inclination to tell your separated spouse that you love them every time you talk with or see them. And this is absolutely fine – so long as you are getting an enthusiastic response in reply. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

    A wife might say: “I know that it sounds desperate and needy. But I can not help it. Every time I talk to my separated husband, I tell him that I love him right before we hang up. I have done this for all the years that I have known him and old habits die hard. At the beginning of our separation, this seemed OK. But the last couple of times, I’ve noticed that he has hesitated before he gives a response. Last night, he didn’t say anything in response. I don’t mean to be dense. Obviously, he probably thinks that I am doing something wrong or he doesn’t want to hear me tell him that I love him during the separation. But not saying it feels like a lie. It feels like playing games or holding back. Am I supposed to pretend that I don’t love him? Because I find that ridiculous. I do love him. And it seems silly to me that I am not supposed to say it every day in the same way that I have for many years. Do I have to stop?”

    That is really up to you. I would never tell someone what to do during their marriage or during their separation. I can tell you what came to be my opinion as the result of a similar situation that I was in. But, I know that all situations are different. So I can’t say that what worked for me will work for you.

    But, during my own separation, it eventually became very clear that my husband was not receptive to me acting in the same way that I did while we were still happily married. When I tried to act as if we were any other married couple or that nothing was wrong, he would act distant or he would start to avoid me. If I pushed, it would get even worse and I would have to work very hard to even get him to take my calls. Frankly, there were times when I could almost literally feel him wince when I told him I loved him.

    As hard as it was to accept, I started to realize that if I didn’t change some things, I might be making this situation a whole lot worse. So I made a conscious decision to back off some. Did this mean I didn’t love my husband? No, if anything, I loved him just as much if not more. But I knew that if I was going to have a chance to maintain that love, I was going to have to find the strategy that brought him closer to me rather than pushing further away.

    And when I tried to push my love on to him, this definitely made him pull further away. So, I toned down my demonstrations and declarations of love. I told myself that this was only temporary, but it was difficult. Still, I knew what was most important was my long term goal and not my declarations of love in the moment.

    My backing off did eventually make things better because it eventually made my husband more receptive to me again. And his being receptive to me meant that we got to spend more time together – which never would have happened if I had continued on with my pushing.

    I can’t tell you what will work in your own situation. I can only suggest that if you notice something not working, then it sometimes makes sense to test out something else – if only once. Perhaps next time you talk to your husband and it is time to sign off, you might try something like: “tonight, I’m not going to insist that I love you, even though I do. I sense that it makes you uncomfortable. But I didn’t want you to think that I was angry or anything. I’m just trying to respect your wishes and not push.”

    At this point, your husband could reassure you that the loving phrases are fine. Or, he may not say anything – in which case his silence speaks volumes. If you do decide to back off and you find that the next time you talk, he seems more comfortable, then you may speculate that backing off a little has helped.

    I know that it might seem weird and almost dishonest to hold back with your own spouse. But a separation can be a very fragile time in a relationship – especially when one spouse has asked for space or isn’t sure what he wants. It become my opinion that if backing off a little is what it took for my husband to eventually be available to me, I was willing to pay that price at the time. Because I knew that it was part of a long-term strategy that was going to mean that I wouldn’t have to hold back once we reconciled.

    Today, I tell him that I love him all of the time, so holding off was worth it to me. And I believe it helped. But every situation is different. In some situations, both spouses are perfectly comfortable with still saying they love one another. And that’s wonderful. But it was not my reality. Still, if every one is happy, then I don’t see any reason to hold back.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • The Advantages and Disadvantages of Being Wealthy and Successful

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    As far as I know, almost everyone wants to become wealthy and successful. Being wealthy and successful allows you to lead a comfortable life, buy anything you want to buy, do whatever you want to do and many others. However, it also brings you some disadvantages. Below I will explain them in detail.

    Advantages

    There are countless advantages and I will introduce three major ones.

    1. Wealth and success can guarantee you a high quality life. Many people are pursuing wealth and success because of this reason. Being wealthy means having a lot of money. So you will not worry about matters which are related to money. You can receive the best education, afford the best healthcare and buy anything you want. Besides, you will never worry about your work because you have enough money to feed yourself. In a word, you will be fully satisfied with your life and love your life.

    2. Being wealthy and successful can make you more confident. If you are a successful man, you will find that many people respect you and then you will have a feeling of victory. This will make you much more confident and your confidence and aura will be embodied in your life and work. Moreover, your accomplishments can also give you confidence and satisfaction. Some accomplishments can not be easily achieved but you are able to achieve them. Then, you will receive appreciations from other people.

    3. If you are wealthy and successful you may consider doing some charity work. There are many poor and helpless people around the world. Maybe you want to help them out before but do not have enough money, so when you are rich, you can achieve your desire. Doing some charity work can make you happy, contented and delighted.

    Disadvantages

    Being wealthy and successful does have some disadvantages.

    1. It is hard to know whether your friends or partners are interested in your money or not. When you have gained wealth and success, many people are willing to make friends with you. So you will not know who your genuine friends are.

    2. Perhaps you will be an open target for kidnap or blackmail. If you have much money, some lawless person may plan to kidnap you or your relatives to earn some money.

    Although there are some disadvantages, being wealthy and successful is still an attractive thing. Everyone can gain wealth and success as long as he tries his best to work hard.

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    Source by Sharon R Chen

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  • Benefits of Appointing a Doctor Through the Online Scheduling Services

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    The busy and fast life and the unbridled lifestyle have created numerous negative impacts on our body as well as on our health. As a consequence, medicines and doctors have become the regular necessities of our lives. Medical emergencies are needed to be handled immediately as negligence can provoke harmful results. The instant involvement of a medical practitioner can save the life of your loved ones. But to visit a doctor, we need to get an appointment first, which can be quite a time-taking process and chances is there to get the help late.

    Doctors do have a very busy schedule and it is quite doubtful to get them exactly at the time of your requirement. In such a condition, the online scheduling services can be proved pretty beneficiary for all those who have an urgency to consult a doctor. It is pretty fast and quick and the websites are easily accessible. But most of all, these sites provide a list of doctors and medical practitioners, from where you can simply pick up the right one for you. Below are some of the advantages you can get, if you book an appointment online from these scheduling services.

    Time-saving

    Time is a big factor at the moment of the crisis. A little wastage of time can create an unfulfilled loss forever. The appointment scheduling websites utilize the time in a tactful way. From cardiologists to the general physician, they provide a list of doctors who are specialists in various medical fields, which makes your pursuit quite easy and effortless.

    All-time availability

    A crisis can occur even at the midnight. You don’t know when you will need to consult a medical expert. These online sites offer you the freedom to schedule an appointment according to your convenience, without creating a disturbance to the doctors apparently.

    The contact details in handy

    Finding a doctor is not enough. You need the proper address of the medical specialist and need to acquire the contact information too. An online scheduling service puts all these details on the website beside the names, designation and the images of the doctors.

    Easy to assess

    These scheduling sites provide a detailed profile of the specialists, including their qualification and the previous works they have handled, by which you can compare their expertise. This helps you to pick up the suitable one for you.

    Reliable and convenient

    In case of a manual consultation, in spite of standing for a long time in the queue, chances are high of getting late due to the doctor’s delay or for the lack of time. But if you book an appointment online, these things don’t create any effect at all. You can easily get your work done in an expedient and hassle-free manner.

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    Source by Luther Martin

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  • Health is Wealth – Do You Agree?

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    I agree whole-heartedly with the saying “Health Is Wealth”. If a person is not healthy then he or she will find it very difficult or even impossible to enjoy life, even though he or she may be very rich.

    If I am asked to choose one from two of the following things, which will I prefer: health without wealth, or, wealth without health? Without hesitation I will choose the former. There is no doubt.

    Wealth is generally associated with how much money a person has, that is, how rich he is. An uncle of mine is very rich. He has just about everything anyone can hope for, and some things no one dares to hope for. That is how rich he is. He lives in a huge mansion guarded by huge dobermans and sophisticated burglar alarms. He has expensive cars, furniture, paintings and other rich man’s toys. Well, he has everything except good health.

    Everywhere he goes he carries with him a bag of medicine. He has to take pills everyday for his weak heart, diabetes and hypertension. He is about sixty years old and has spent his life accumulating wealth. Without doubt he has succeeded in becoming very rich. However he has also succeeded in becoming very unhealthy too. He laments about his lack of health and says that how he wished that he was young and healthy again. Unfortunately, he cannot regain his health again.

    This example of wealth without health is not what I want to follow. It is ridiculous to have so much material wealth but being unable to enjoy it. What is the use of money when one has to take so much medicine everyday just to stay alive? How can one enjoy life when one’s body is weakened by disease and pain? No wonder my uncle laments so.

    Health without wealth is far better. That is what I have now. I do not have to worry even a bit about what I can eat or do. I eat and do what I like because my body is healthy. Of course I do not abuse it by taking drugs or overexerting myself. I take good care of my body. In that way I stay healthy.

    With health I can go about my work with joy. If I become rich, then that is fine. Then again, I may lose my riches, but that is all right too. I can always do the things I enjoy whether I am rich or not. I can play games, swim in the sea, climb hills, eat delicious fruits and appreciate the things of this beautiful Earth. This is indeed wealth – to be healthy and joyous.

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    Source by Ashley Wong

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  • The Writer As A Marketer

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    Should aspiring or professional writers see themselves as marketers? This is a personal question that you alone should answer, not me.

    I am sure you can mention a thousand and one reason people aspire to write. It could be for pleasure, fame, money, education, inform or entertain or whatever.

    So, while one writer may not be interested in making money, but educating the readers, another may want to make all the money on earth. No general rule here.

    I have said it over and over again; a good writer is a wordsmith. It is good to read anything and everything under the sun.

    But, the journey to becoming a good writer comes with practice, practice and more practice. I have said this in my earlier articles.

    Let us look at the writer as a marketer. The business side of writing, if you wish to call it so. Just like me, I am sure you too need extra income. Please, don’t laugh, only smile.

    Yes, you sell yourself, your script, your books, your articles to the entire world as a writer.

    In this modern age, people and nations are looking out for where individuals and nations are searching for specific information, solution, ideas, values, etc.

    So, writers must strive to fill the gap, provide solutions, add values and solve problems using the writing words for their target market or audience.

    I do not know about others, But, I do know as a writer, a journalist that making money comes with real hard work.

    I have abandoned my family for the computers and the internet, researching, reading, browsing and having sleepless nights these days.

    Truth is that my wife and daughter understand. Do they? God knows they do. Ho ho ho ho oh.

    But, am I making money? Good question, but I will answer it, ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously though, writers must begin to look at the business sides of writing, if they have not already done so. I am guilty of this.

    Write, tell the entire world and sell your product over time. Yes there could instance hit where you will make millions in local or foreign currencies selling your books, script, articles, novels, whatever.

    There is no fast rule about this. For some writers, it could take hours, days, weeks, months and years to make a breakthrough.

    The social media is a credible platform for both amateur and professional writers to tell the world about their products, themselves, their passions, knowledge and skills.

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    Source by Emmanuel Udom

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  • Rich Brother by Tobias Wolff

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    The Rich Brothers is a story of two brothers, their sibling rivalry and their contrast in everything including worldly success and failure. While Pete is rich and Donald is poor by the end of the story we are left wondering who among the two is actually rich in the real sense of the term.

    Pete, the older among the sibling is rich and successful. He exemplifies the American middle class dream – nice family life with a wife and two daughters, a house, a sailboat, and every other thing that money can buy you – of success that his hard work in real estate business could attain for him. Donald, the younger brother is just his opposite. He lives alone and survives out of painting houses. At times, he lives in a Berkeley ashram and lives in financial debt.

    Pete comes to rescue Donald out of his difficulties and donates him money right in the beginning of this story. The two are driving in a car when Pete gifts him $100. However, there is a subtle sub-text of sibling rivalry in the background during their childhood as also when they grow up. Donald for instance, reminds Pete how as a kid he wanted to kill him, to which Pete replies, “children always do such things”.

    Pete doesn’t bother to or perhaps doesn’t like to discuss his personal life with Donald, yet Donald asks him if he ever dreams of his younger brother. Pete, in fact has a recurring dream that he is blind and needs his brother’s assistance. Perhaps, the author has metaphorically hinted at the blindness inherent in material success and in need of genuine spiritual assistance from people like Donald.

    The story moves further even as we discover more contrasting characteristics of the two brothers. In comes a character Webster that tells them a mythic tale of his own dream experience involving goldmine and greed. Donald gives away $100 gifted to him by Pete. But Pete throws him out of the car on learning what he has done.

    Meanwhile, Pete ponders what would he answer his wife when she would ask him about his brother? Perhaps, he is not worried. Material wealth has blind his conscience; his sensitivity: “And in this way, smiling, nodding to the music, he went another mile or so and pretended that he was not already slowing down, that he was not going to turn back, that he would be able to drive on like this alone, and have the right answer when his wife stood before him in the doorway of his home and asked, Where is he? Where is your brother?”(Wolff 269)

    Wolff’s story parallels the biblical story of Cain and Abel. One brother is spiritual, God-oriented, helping and reaching out to others, while the other is materialistic, has least concern with God and can even go to the extent of trying to kill or hurt his brother. The contrast in the character of the two brother compels us to ask who is the rich brother? The one that has money or the one who lacks material wealth, but is endowed with human virtues? Who really needs whom? Does Donald really need money? If he really needed money, why would he give it away to Webster without a second thought? Pete can only pretend that he doesn’t need Donald. He can only pretend that he can go alone and will answer his acts toward his brother.

    The author through contradictory characters of the two brothers has tried to dig the real meaning of wealth. A person can remain unfulfilled despite all his wealth as shown through the metaphor of dream where Pete is blind and in need for assistance. Donald is pious, happy and harbors no grudge against Pete, and therefore, is quite capable of helping Pete learn how to be a good person.

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    Source by Ajit Kumar Jha

    Views: 0

  • Reducing the Stress of Being an Entrepreneur

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    Starting and running your own business can be exciting and rewarding, but it can also be very stressful. For most of our almost 40 year marriage my husband has been an entrepreneur and I have sometimes worked with him. Having built my own business as a Stress Reduction Coach I have been reflecting on the stresses of being an entrepreneur.

    Signs and sources of stress

    Some of the signs of stress overload include irritability, anxiety about the sustainability of the business, and/or high business debt. Relationships within the family can suffer if they do not understand the entrepreneurial drive or the time and effort it takes to start and run a business. For women entrepreneurs, the job of running the household and balancing work and home can create enormous stressors. When you work from home, all the household tasks that need to be done can pull you away from your business. People who are drawn to be entrepreneurs are sometimes idea people who don’t like detail and repetitive tasks. Having to work on those things can create stress as well. And when you’re stressed it’s harder to concentrate and focus.

    Organize your environment

    One of the solutions is to reduce the stress and create an environment that discourages stress. Have a place where you can keep everything together and organized. A written plan of action for the business posted where you can see it along with a daily plan can help you focus the time you have available.

    A system that works for me

    I am not a person who comes to organization easily and I have struggled to find a way that works. Daytimers and lists help for a short while, but I have never been able to keep up with them. One thing I have found that works is to have a “big picture overview” of what needs to be done where I can see it. I have a poster board size piece of “static cling” presentation sheet that adheres to my door. It can be easily rolled up and removed if needed. I have several categories that I’ve posted at the top of the sheet, such as “website,” “presentation,” etc. These are written on standard sized post-it notes so they can be easily removed and changed. I brainstorm everything I need to do on small post-it notes. After I brainstorm, I then organize the notes in the appropriate columns. I also have a category that says TODAY for the urgent and important things. I can glance at the poster while I am working and see what else I might need to do and when I finish what I need to do, I can throw the post-it away. If something comes up that is not posted, I can put it on a post-it note and put it where it needs to be.

    This “system” helped me write many graduate papers and I used it when I planned and wrote my dissertation. Now it helps me as I plan and work my business. This is just one technique that helps me reduce the stress of being an entrepreneur.

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    Source by Lorna Minewiser

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  • Mindset = Being Organized

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    I think we can all agree that we hate clutter. We hate it so much we pretend it doesn’t exist. Sometimes we even hide ourselves from the world because we’re afraid of what others may think about us because of it. Being unorganized or having a home full of clutter, which we hate to admit, is thankfully something we can overcome. From experience, all it takes is patience, vulnerability and an open mind to achieve what we want in our homes and in our lives.

    Today I’m going to give you 5 simple and modern-day tips on how to change your mindset so you can become more organized.

    TIP #1: Start small

    For some reason our brains are wired to believe that we MUST complete an entire project at once. Have you ever wondered why none of your tasks or projects ever gets done on time? I bet one of the reasons may be because the project you took on was way to BIG to complete and because you were so overwhelmed, you failed to finish. Not anymore! By starting small, whether it is organizing your pen cup to completing a major project, you will avoid the stress of fulfilling that task and find yourself finishing quickly and punctually.

    TIP #2: Listen to organizing podcasts

    One of the best things you can do in the morning or as you’re driving is to stimulate your mind by listening to things that arouse your mental and physical growth. I’ve noticed in my own life and others around me that doing so has made a world of positive change in our lives. Organizing podcasts like Organize 365 or A Slob Comes Clean are 2 podcasts that have kept me motivated in times when I was lacking. One of the secrets to truly changing your lifestyle is to change our mentality and by incorporating these simple methods in your life, you will get there in no time.

    TIP #3: Create a Checklist

    This may sound cliché but to-do lists really do work – of course only if you use them. As I mentioned above, clutter is a bi%#* and in order to combat it, you will have to tackle it head on in small intervals. Here are 2 examples how checklists can be effective in helping you stay organized. 1) By using a checklist to plan out the tasks you need to accomplish at home after work, will prevent you from being overwhelmed after a stressful day 2) An effective checklist will only have your priority tasks therefore you will know exactly what needs to be done to maintain order. Checklist, lists, to-do list, plans, whatever you want to call them is a habit that needs to be implemented in your life so getting organized and staying organized can become second nature.

    TIP #4: Keep things you Truly Love

    Here are a few common responses I’ve heard when it comes to this topic:

    I love everything in my home and there’s no way I can get rid of anything! All of my stuff has a meaning behind them! Here’s a better one. I’ve spent so much money and I haven’t even worn it yet! – But it’s been 2 years…

    These are just a few examples of statements my clients have said to me when I’d suggest they should only keep things in their home they truly loved. Let me explain what this really means. Lets start with an example. We love our family (our immediate family) and though we may have favorites (wink) we love them so unconditionally that we couldn’t live a day without them. This is the type of feeling I believe you should have for the items in your home. You love your pen so much; the mere thought of it not being in your possession is utter mayhem. If you don’t have this feeling towards the items in your home then it’s probably time to part ways with it. I’d be happy to witness the department!

    TIP #5: Make it a Habit

    New studies show it takes 2-8 months to form a new habit. I know that seems like an abnormal amount of time – at least to getting organized but this is actually great news. Creating new habits shouldn’t be viewed as one and done rather as a process that will create a better outcome. Committing to an organizing system and practicing it thoroughly, though you may have hiccups, will create a positive mind and improve your organizing skills.

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    Source by Judi Igwe

    Views: 0

  • The Vision Health Benefits Of Strawberries For Better Eyesight

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    As a nutritious food to improve eyesight tasty strawberries are ideal for making a delicious smoothie. Additionally, this red fruit filled with tons of antioxidants, polyphenols, vitamins and minerals is a good compliment to your ideal Yogurt dessert treat. This extremely nutritious food for better eyesight provides a series of health benefits including better immune health, better brain health, protection from cancer and a decrease in blood pressure to name a few. Some nutritional ingredients in strawberries include vitamins and minerals such as vitamin C, magnesium, Potassium, Folate and dietary fiber to name a few. But did you know that this antioxidant rich fruit is also good for your eyes as well? Therefore, here are some of the nutritional benefits of strawberries for better vision health along with some of its general health benefits:

    Eye health Benefits – This eye food consists of free radical fighting antioxidants, flavonoids and phytochemicals for vision protection. These can actually decrease the pressure in the eyes. From this point of view, strawberries are a good nutritional preventive measure against Glaucoma. Strawberries consists of Potassium which increases healthy circulation to the blood vessels of the eyes and this is also important in normalizing healthy pressure in the eyes.

    Boosts The Immune System – Due to its rich vitamin C content it significantly boosts the immune system. The rich antioxidant properties in strawberries neutralizes damaging free radicals in the body that are harmful to the DNA of healthy cells and therefore it increases the body’s immune system defenses against diseases. Strawberries provide about 150% of your daily recommended allowance for vitamin C for better immune health.

    Cancer Fighter: Strawberries consist of Vitamin C, Folate, quercetin and anthocyanins. These nutritional elements work together to fight free radicals, cancer cells and tumor growth. The daily consumption of strawberries not only reduces the risks for cancer but also reduces the negative effects of aging on the brain thereby improving brain health.

    Improves Brain Function: the nutritional elements in strawberries such as its vitamin C content as well as its phytochemical content counteract the negative effects of free radicals in the brain. Strawberries consists of Iodine which is a nutrient vital in improving brain function and Potassium which improves cognitive function. Therefore, regular daily consumption of strawberries is useful in improving cognitive skills such as concentration, memory and recall.

    Lowers Blood Pressure: Strawberries Lower blood pressure due to its Potassium and Magnesium content. Potassium dilates blood vessels thereby improving the flow of blood circulation to the arteries of the heart.

    Strawberries make a wonderful snack when combined with other fruits to make smoothies and is also an ideal addition to your favorite Yogurt snack. With multiple benefits ranging from better eye, heart, brain and immune health, ultimately, making this healthy fruit a part of your daily diet is certainly a very wise nutritional choice for maximum general health and eye health.

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    Source by Joel Travers King

    Views: 0