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Dating: Is It A Bad Idea To Have Sex On The First Date?

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Many, many years ago, sex was something that people would typically have if they wanted children. Nowadays, it is something that lot of people have if they want to experience pleasure.

In the past, then, it was generally seen as having one purpose and in the present, it is generally seen as having another. Now, while there were people in the past who did have sex for other reasons, there is no denying how different it is today.

Separated

If it wasn’t for the contraceptive pill, it is highly unlikely that sex would be seen in the same way as it is often seen today. Naturally, this has lowered the risk of a woman getting pregnant, thereby making it possible for her to have sex without needing to worry about what will happen after.

Along with this, a man can use a condom to stop his sperm from causing any problems. So, in the same way that someone might have a piece of chocolate to experience pleasure, they can also have sex to achieve the same outcome.

It’s Just Sex

Unlike most of their ancestors, this could be the only thing they know. Therefore, if they were to hear about how, in the past, people typically had sex to procreate, they may find it amusing.

In their eyes, sex could be seen as something that is there to be enjoyed; only having it to create a child is not going make any sense. And, as sex is something that can be extremely enjoyable, why would anyone only want to have it in order to procreate?

An Easy Decision

If someone has this view when it comes to sex, they may have no trouble sleeping with another person on the first date. This could be seen as a way for them to find out if they are sexually compatible.

Sex will be such an important part of their life that they won’t want to be with someone who doesn’t do it for them in the bedroom. In addition to this, they could believe that this will allow them to get to know them better.

Nothing to Lose

The alternative would be for them to wait a little while, only to find out that they are not sexually compatible. After having been with them for a while, it could be a lot harder for them to move on.

One would then have wasted a fair amount of time, time that they would have saved if they got down to business straight away. It would have also taken them a lot longer to find out about things that they might have found out about in a night.

The Only Option

Taking this into account, someone would be old fashioned or even a prude if they chose to behave differently. It would be in their best interest to ‘liberate’ themselves and to just go for it on the first date.

This might go against what they currently stand for, but they will soon realise that it is the right thing to do. When this happens, one will no longer be allowing an outdated inner model to run this area of their life.

Back To Reality

However, although this might seem like the best approach to take, it doesn’t mean that this is the case. One of the big problems with having sex more or less straight away is that it can cloud one’s judgment.

If human beings didn’t have an emotional self and only had a mental and the physical self, it wouldn’t matter. Their emotions wouldn’t be there to effect their judgment, allowing them to think clearly afterwards.

Numb

If someone can have sex straight away and not be affected by it, it could simply show that they are emotionally shut down. Having sex with someone straight away is not going to affect them, but as if they are out of touch with their emotions, it is unlikely that they would be able to have a real relationship anyway.

This could then explain why someone like this would put such a big emphasis on sex; the other part of their being, their heart, is not going to be open. A lot of their energy will be stuck in their genitals as it won’t be able to reach their chest area.

Many Elements

Sex is undoubtedly an important part of a relationship, yet there are a number of other things that are just as important. It will be vital for one to find out if they actually have anything in common with someone and to find out if their values match up.

As there are many parts to their own being, they will need to be with someone who has a being that matches up with these parts. This will be what allows the relationship to last once the early sparks have settled down.

The Easy Option

Getting naked and having sex with someone may seem like a great way get to know who they really are, but this may be a time when they are still hiding their true self. Ultimately, it is one thing for someone to reveal their body; it is another thing altogether for them to reveal who they actually are.

If one thinks that getting naked with someone means that they are getting intimate with them, this is not going to cross their mind. What will also make it harder for them to realise this is if they have come to equate sex with love.

Awareness

This is then not about whether or not having sex on a first date is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, it is about looking at the consequences of behaving in this way. Having sex on a first date could lead to a fulfilling relationship; then again, it could cause one to end up with someone who is not right for them.

Their emotions and hormones will be all over the place, making it just about impossible for them have a balanced outlook. Their thinking will be off and their view of the other person will also be off.

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Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Women And Self-Confidence – Healing Women's Insecurity Issues Today

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Sound like a latte-in-the-sky dream? I mean the kind that could never happen in this lifetime?

Today, all that ends.

Let some new confidence with women understanding begin inside you, and beautiful begin being who you are to the core.

This program for women and self-confidence is exactly the kind of community of women friends you should meet. Its specialty is helping women exactly like you.

Heal those old wounds so you can break free from the past.

Stop feeling insecure and overwhelmed by other people's demands.

Pick up those shattered pieces of women's insecurity issues sitting around in your soul, heart and life and build something stunning and gorgeous with them.

It's like the Course in Miracles states, "Do not be afraid to look within you."

If you keep on beating yourself up OR ignoring it and hoping it will all solve itself, you can't pull yourself together.

Unleash the confident, Got-It-Together, GORGEOUS and RADIANT woman you were MEANT to BE.

There is nothing that feels better than having the total life confidence needed to be your real, luminous self.

It makes a woman undeniably gorgeous, and you don't have to be a super model here to be a confident woman.

It is life miracles of the highest order, and you deserve lots and lots of that!

Get YOUR life miraculously going again!

In a previous session I discussed other topics like how to realize more beauty and experience healthy weight loss without paying a fortune for a weight loss program.

And, imagine being able to turn the heads of men (AND women) as you walk into a room, radiating COMPLETE confidence and allowing your inner goddess to glow.

What if I told you that the universe is waiting to give you OCEANS of love?

Wave after wave of it!

A drenching, nourishing, sea of it!

You've built an emotional sea-wall that won't let it get to you, and here's the Truth:

Spark some sizzling hot romance EVEN if your relationship is flat-out boring right now (It takes mere SECONDS to put this to work for you …).

When you feel loved and confident

Don't deny your beautiful heart any longer. Unleash the miracle power of love in your life!

Yes, you can indeed change your love life and everything else, from PESSIMISTIC to PASSIONATE in a heartbeat.

You have what it takes to feel the POWER to go after your dreams, and you naturally ATTRACT the man of your dreams.

And if you're already in a relationship, you can build the kind of life together that most people only dream of.

Dating and relationships are so much easier (and fun!) Once you FINALLY start accepting love.

When you can FINALLY allow for to be given you love unapologetically from the world that's when your life and your relationships start to miraculously transform and you release all those women's insecurity issues.

Extend your inner beauty!

Begin right now in this instant to EFFORTLESSLY accept every kind of good and beautiful love into your life.

When women's insecurity issues have your life split apart in pieces all over the place, it's easy to feel defeated.

When frustration hooks up with unworthiness and they have a child called I AM SO TERRIBLY OVERWHELMED, confidence with women is difficult.

You know what I mean?

Wouldn't it be nice if you could let go of women's insecurity issues and get the JOY and BEAUTY of a woman who has her act together, as easily as ordering a latte with your BFF at your favorite coffee shop?

(Please note I always suggest searching the net for related material on how a woman with no dreams for the future can TODAY become a stronger confident woman.)

To your inner beauty shining forth!

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Source by James Nussbaumer

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
How Should The Other Woman Proceed When The Wife Finds Out About The Affair?

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I sometimes hear from women who have been cheating with someone who is married. Some of the time, they truly believed that in due time, the man’s marriage was going to come to a natural and mutual end so that the two of them could be together. They wanted to believe that the marriage had grown stale so that both people would mutually agree to end the marriage. Once this happens, then that would free up the husband to pursue a new relationship.

As we all know, this isn’t usually the way that it happens. Usually, the wife finds out about the affair and the marriage does not just end by both people mutually agreeing to it in a healthy way. The wife is usually hurt and angry and, believe it or not, the husband usually panics and immediately chases after his wife, suddenly afraid that he’s going to lose his family.

Understandably, this can leave the other woman confused. This isn’t how things were presented to her. And where is she in all of this? You can see how she would feel left out in the cold and unsure about how to proceed. She might say: “I feel stupid admitting that I honestly thought I was going to live happily ever after with the man that I was dating. I knew that he was married, but he presented it to me like he was working on untangling himself from that. Still, he was always careful that his wife would not find out. But she did. And I was shocked when he immediately told me that he could not see me anymore and begged me not to make this harder than it already was. I’m very shocked by this. And I feel set aside and hurt. Now this guy and his wife are scrambling to save their family, but what about me? I feel like I need to do something. I feel like I am left out in the cold of all of this. I am tempted to try to contact his wife and plead my case. I want her to know that the husband represented to me that their marriage was over. I want for her to have all of the information so that she doesn’t think that her husband is loyal to her. And I want to see the other man and plead my case also. After all that we have been through, it is annoying that he is just going to walk away. What should I do right now?”

Honestly, I am not sure that you are going to like my answer but it is heartfelt and is what I honestly feel and believe. I will admit that I have been the wife in this situation, but I’ve had friends in your situation and I hear from many on the other side of the equation. I can tell you that statistically, the husband and wife generally end up together. It may take a while. And there can definitely be some uncertainty, but statistics show us that it is much more likely for the husband to go back to his wife than to have a lasting relationship with the other person. You can check this for yourself, but that is what the statistics show. That is why I do not recommend that you reach out to either of them. It is only going to hurt, annoy, and frustrate everyone involved and the chances are high that it is not going to affect the outcome in the long run. You’ll only be causing pain to yourself, the husband, and the wife.

I know that a big driving force for you right now is that you feel set aside and ignored. One reason for this is that it feels as if your course of action is set by someone else. Since the husband and wife have the marriage, they get to decide how things proceed, which can seem very unfair. So how do you get a sense of control back? By bowing out gracefully from this trio and focusing on yourself, your own well being, and your own happiness. Take control back of your own life. Ask yourself why you’d be vulnerable to settling for a man who couldn’t be solely yours. Fix your self esteem and then vow to only give your heart to men that are free to return your love and be yours alone. All women deserve nothing less. I know that this might not be what you wanted to hear, but I believe that it is the healthiest option. It gives you control of your life, it really is the right thing to do for all involved, and it doesn’t force you to go against the odds. Trying to hurt others usually ends up only hurting you. There’s more than enough hurt to go around right now, so you can never go wrong with focusing on your own healing instead.

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Source by Katie Lersch

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Love As an Emotion

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I am now talking to the male part of any relationship because the male is normally the leader in any relationship. So, men, what will happen if your love for your wife or girlfriend relied on your emotions, or on your feelings? Today, you could cherish her, caress her, care for her, hug and kiss her. Tomorrow, you might feel totally different. You might slap her around a bit, shout and scream at her, ignore her, deride her. Because that is exactly what feelings are all about. Emotions play games on your feelings all the time. And the game changes every day, every minute. Think now of how confusing for the poor lady you have as a girlfriend or wife. She wants your attention, she says she loves you and has chosen you to be her mate, friend, and husband, whatever. But she is afraid of you because you are so much stronger as her, and she knows at any time you could burst into one of your tirades with disastrous consequences for her. Maybe a broken nose, a black eye, cracked ribs. Men who do this to any woman should be ashamed of themselves.

Real adult love is more than just a feeling. It means caring even when you do not feel like caring. It means spending time with your spouse when you prefer watching an important game on the telly. It also means nursing her when she feels ill and spending time with her when you prefer spending time with your friends. Love is taking responsibility for others and setting their needs and desires above yours. Love is also consistent with your feelings and it does not change every day. Love is not rude or harsh with your spouse, and respects her as the weaker member of your relationship.

I guess what I really want to say about being in a relationship where emotions and feelings is the basis of your relationship, and then you need to think long and hard about this. To rely on feelings is immature and stupidity, you just cannot rely on it. Do you really want to have a relationship with this woman? Tomorrow you might prefer spending time with your friends. Or for that matter, some other woman. So, if you decide no, I do not want to spend so much time with this woman, and then tell her that so that she could understand where she stands. She might feel hurt now, but in the end, she will at least know where she stands with you. And both of you could move on with your lives.

There are so many examples I can give on real love. But one thing I will say about this. Real love is taking responsibility of the opposite gender. Today you say you love her, but she will have the assurance that regardless of how you feel, tomorrow you would love just as much. Do not rely on your feelings of love for today, tomorrow it might be different.

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Source by Rodney Evan Bentley

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Free Online Dating: Tips and Advice

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Are you a real “newbie” to the world of free online dating? Do you find online dating foreign? Fret not, dear readers. Here are some online dating tips to assist you in enjoying the experience.

Your Username

Let’s start at the beginning. It’s great to choose a username that makes you stand out. Just remember, though, there is a big difference between being very clever and being so obscure your username goes right over the heads of potential partners.

If someone is already using your first choice for a name, just let it go. Obviously, it wasn’t that clever after all. Avoid using provocative pen names. Not everyone has a sense of humor when it comes to online dating, especially if you are hoping to find a long-term relationship.

Your Profile

A profile that is carefully composed is essential to a successful online dating experience. The profile area is your space to present not only your biographical information but also other special personal information, pictures of yourself and some details of what you are seeking in terms of a date and/or potential mate. Don’t stress it though, because while you only get one chance to make a good first impression on a date, you get as many chances as you want on your free online dating profile. Get together with a friend or two when you’re ready to build your profile. They can help in choosing the best pictures.

Your Photographs

All your photographs should be under seven months old unless specifically designated otherwise. Your main photo should be a headshot. People should be able to see your eyes. In fact, there are free online dating sites that will suspend your photo posting privileges if your main photo does not show your eyes.

You should also include at least one full body shot too. This way, when you do score a first date, there will no concern about how “different” you look in person. Don’t post too many pictures that include other people who might hide the real you or confuse others as to your dating status either.

Keep all your profile photographs updated. Include supplemental photos of you enjoying your favorite pastime or perhaps pics from recent vacations. They can give you something to talk about.

Your Headline

Your headline should make a statement about you or maybe answer a basic question like: “What qualities am I looking for in a man/woman?” Again though, don’t be so clever; you may lose your “reader”.

Your Description

Your description should focus on three separate sections. The first concerns who you really are and some of the different things you enjoy doing. The second might be more about your personal habits or just about anything unusual or unique that makes you stand out from the crowd. The third one should discuss your current activities, books you have read and films you have seen recently.

Additional Tips

Finally, try to be brief. Share, but be careful you don’t share too much. Find a comfortable middle ground between letting them know something about you and removing all the mystery. Use spell check, too. You don’t want a profile that looks thrown together.

To summarize these online dating tips, you want to give people an honest representation of yourself, both physically and mentally. Specify a few things that make you stand out. If you took time off to protest at Standing Rock or have a unique collection of some sort, include that. It will get people’s attention.

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Source by Pete Nyandeh

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Sex Tips: Temperature Play Methods

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Looking for sex tips to spice things up? There are many ways to do so, but one that many couples are unfamiliar with is incorporating hot and cold play in the bedroom. Altering the temperature can awaken the nerve endings and circulatory system in ways that deliver mind-blowing pleasure to both partners. The following examples, along with safety tips for maintaining vaginal and penis health, can help couples get their bearings in this exciting new world of sensation play.

Cup of Water

Keeping a cup of warm (not hot!) water near the bed can boost his oral sex enjoyment. A partner can take a sip, swallow, then take another sip and hold the warm water in his/her mouth, then take the man’s penis inside. Swashing the water around his penis for a few moments then swallowing it will give him a tantalizing experience.

Breath Play

Warm, moist breath is one of the body’s most pleasurable heat sources, and making use of this natural heat during foreplay and sex can bring both partners thrilling waves of enjoyment. Gently exhale on a lover’s sensitive spots, including the stomach, neck and ears. Gently breathing on the clitoris and testicles is also encouraged.

Candle Wax

Most people have heard of dripping hot candle wax on the skin as part of sex play, and many find this frightening. For good reason – most people don’t want to actually burn their skin. The trick to safely participating in wax play is to use candles made of soy, which don’t require as much heat to melt as those made of beeswax or regular wax, so they are less likely to deliver too much heat. Also, of course, if one has very sensitive skin concerning heat, this method should be avoided.

Chilled Spoon

Chill a metal spoon for a bit in a bowl of ice or cold water, then apply the back of the spoon to a lover’s neck, nipples, stomach, etc.

Plain Old Ice

An ice cube in the hand can go a long way. Trace a line extending from one side of a lover’s neck all the way down the side of the leg, them up the inside of the leg, down the inside of the other and back up the other side of his or her body. It’s best to avoid the penis and testicles.

Ice Dildo/Hot Towel

This is one of the more hardcore forms of temperature play, which should be pursued with caution. The idea is for the man to masturbate with a warm, wet towel around his member while a woman masturbates with a chilled dildo. Then, he enters her, and the sensation change for both is out of this world.

There are several options for a chilled dildo. Some glass and metal dildos are made to be chilled, but caution should be taken. Glass that gets very cold and then undergoes a sudden temperature change, such as inside the body, can break – yikes! And cold metal may stick to a lady’s warm, wet inside – also no good. Use proper precautions. Let the glass or metal warm just a little; use lube; use condoms; always, always follow packaging instructions.

Blindfold

Any of the above techniques can be combined with one another, and all of them may be more enjoyable with a blindfold in place. This will leave a lover anticipating, eager and unaware of what sensation is to come. Sight deprivation may be most exciting when lovers are combining a form of heat play like candle wax with a form of cold play, like ice cubes or a cold spoon.

Keeping it Safe

Always check in to be sure that the skin is not being burned or losing sensation due to excessive cold or heat. Don’t freeze or heat toys that were not designed to withstand such temperatures. Ease into temperature play to get to know what one’s skin can tolerate.

Maintaining skin health on the sexual organs can’t be overrated; one’s ability to sense pleasure depends on it. Men can take an extra step in the penis care department by using a quality penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) daily. Shea butter and vitamin E keep the skin moisturized, protecting it from the frictions of a vigorous sex life. Show one’s sex life some excitement with temperature play, and one’s manhood some love with a penis health crème.

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Source by John Dugan

Views: 0

July 25, 2022
Teen Relationships
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Before I start to talk about teen relationships I feel I have to make a clarification. Many people when they think of the word relationship, automatically equate it to love or sexual relationship. According to the general definition of relationship this is any connection between two or more elements and these elements can be anything from chemical substances to human beings. So from this definition it is simple to deduct the meaning of this word applied to human beings. A teen relationship can be any kind of relationship
1. between teens of the same gender
2. between teens of the opposite gender, like boyfriend girlfriend relationships
3. between teens and other persons of the same or different gender and different age.
The quality of these relationships can also vary, but there are two kinds of teenager relationships I’m going to talk about here;
- teen friendships and
- teen love relationships
Teen Friendships

This kind of teenager relationship will fit into all three categories above. It can exist between a teenager and other persons of same or different gender and age. A good friend – no matter age or gender – is one of the best things you can have on this earth. A really good friend that is special to you and means much to you. A person that is always there for you.

Many successful love relationships has started with friendship and this is probably the reason for it’s success. The better you know the other person, the better you’ll go along with him or her and in a long lasting love relationship – as man and woman – your appreciation of your partner as a friend will mean much more than anything else. If we look at it from the other end, it seems much more difficult to build a friendship from a love or sexual relationship. In fact, I have not heard about it, maybe you have but the point is that a good friendship is always good to have both as a basis of a future love relationship and as a friendship by itself.

A teenage friendship can exist between anyone no matter what gender, age, race, background or whatever. A 13 year old girl and a 50 year old man can have a great and even lifelong friendship together as well as two teenagers of the same gender.

Teen love relationships

While you can talk quite frankly and straight forward in a friendship most of us are more aware of not hurting the partner in a love relationship. This can evolve to a degree of lies and even no communication at all just to protect your partner.

There are also more mutual expectations in a love relationship and more intimate emotions are involved than in a good friendship. A teen love relationship can be great and long lasting but if there is no basis of friendship in it the probability of sustaining it is significantly lower. There are some legally defined limitations with regards to who can go into a teen love or sexual relationship. It is illegal for people of 18 years and above to have a sexual relation to a minor but It is definitely not illegal to have older friends.

A good friendship is one of the best gifts God has provided our lives with and even if you marry the sweetest boy or girl in the world, neither of you will be happy if you aren’t good friends.

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Source by Terje Ellingsen

Views: 0
July 24, 2022
Guilt Is a Useless Emotion

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I once read a poem in my doctor’s office that went something like this:

If a child is raised in anger, he will feel anger.

If a child is raised with guilt, he will feel guilty.

If a child is raised with shame, he will feel shame.

If a child is raised in love, he will feel love.

Of course that is not the whole poem, but you get the point. At the time, the poem was just something to read while I waited. Today the meaning is very clear to me.

There is no such thing as guilt, you can not go to the store and buy a pound or bag of guilt. It is a man made ego minded emotion this is detrimental to humans living to their full potential.

It seems to me that women carry so much guilt, whether it stems from being a woman, or the way we raised our children, or for being/or wanting to be successful, to being a sexual human. Where did it all start? Why have we continued to pass this down to each new generations? Mostly we do it subconsciously, although I know there are times when it is used for our advantage in certain situations.

Many moons ago the female Goddess energy was the ruler of the universe, it was honored and valued. Did guilt arise when we stopped tuning into that energy and were slowly overpowered by the male energy that has dominated the universe for so long? Was it because we stopped standing our ground and speaking our truth? Who knows were guilt originated. I am not saying it is a female only emotion, nor pointing fingers, my point is for this particular article only.

Guilt has kept so many stuck in the same place for years. Why? Just like the poem says, it is passed down through the stories we were told by our parents, grand parents, teachers and role models. These stories were laced with limiting beliefs that blocked us from actually achieving our full potential in life. This useless emotion became a vicious circle that many are still trying to step out of, or don’t even realize they are in.

You get a great idea that will make you lots of money. Then the guilt thinking comes in, you start to hear the old stories, you can’t make more money than your husband, men are supposed to support the family. You may even see pictures of the people telling the story. OR, even worse, you want to express your sexuality, or your sexual energy and you hear that voice saying “good girls don’t” Well guess what, good girls do, and they have been for years. Even those catholic girls in high school that swore they didn’t. They do. We are human, we don’t need to feel guilty about anything. Especially expressing our true selves.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, everyone, but we don’t have to feel guilty about it and carry it with us the rest of our lives. It is time to free ourselves of the past, to free ourselves of the guilt. It is time to forgive ourselves for allowing this to control any part of our lives.

Guilt is an emotion that comes from fear based thinking. If we take a really good look at why we feel guilty for any particular situation, we will probably find that the thought process is not even our own. It was something passed down to us from someone else. And to think that is ruling our days!!

Fortunately there is good news. The choice is ours as to whether we are going to carry the guilt or let it go. Give a moment to think how you would feel if you decided right this moment to let go of it. How would it feel to have put it out with the garbage on Monday morning? How does it feel? Light? Airy? Expansive? Free? Now ask yourself this. How often do you put the garbage out at the road, and then walk out and bring it back into the house? Never, Right? The same needs to happen when letting go of guilt, once you put it out, leave it out. In fact don’t even go back to smell it.

How can we release guilt? Here are a few steps, these require you to love yourself enough to give yourself permission to feel good.

1. Write out what you feel guilty about and why. Take one situation at a time. Write adamantly, don’t hold back on anything, just let it all go, allow the emotions to flow. Once you are done, set it down for a few moments, then go back and write a little more. Don’t read it over, tear it up, or burn it. As you do repeat ” I now choose to let this go, it no longer affects my life.”

2. Sit with a situation in mind. Allow yourself to feel how you feel about it, visualize it, hear the stories other people told you about the situation. Feel where you feel this in your body. Ask yourself if the guilt is yours or someone else’s? When you have sat with it as long as you can, allow yourself to let it go. Visualize it leaving your body, feel it leaving your body and say I choose to let this go. I no longer need this in my life. I let it go in exchange for peace.

3. Change the story you are telling yourself. When you catch yourself telling the guilt story either to yourself or someone else, catch it, don’t judge it, just change it to something possible, with positive emotions. Be aware of the thoughts and stories you tell, after all we get to choose them, they might as well be positive.

4. Train your mind to look for thing to be grateful for. You will always find what you are look for, again it might as well be positive.

In doing these exercises you will release the emotional charge the thoughts and feelings have on you. The memories may come back from time to time, but the emotions will not take hold of you, they will not control you. Quilt really is a useless emotion, with a choice attached. I choose to let it go so I can soar through the rest of my life free as a bird. Free yourself.

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Source by Jenn Prothero

Views: 0

July 24, 2022
My Wife Thinks I’m Immature! What Steps Can Help Change This

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Your wife tells you that you’re immature. Perhaps you agree with her, or maybe you think she’s way off base. Regardless of your stance on the issue, she’s clear on hers. It’s hurtful knowing that the woman you’ve chosen to spend your life with sees you as nothing more than a child in a man’s clothing. Her comments sting, her attitude overshadows all the great things you do and you’re getting tired of trying to please her when you truly believe you’re fine exactly as you are, right?

There’s a very specific dynamic that dominates a marriage when the wife views her husband as immature. She’ll tend to take the reins on everything from major decision making to raising the children. Over time, a man in a relationship like this will start to feel as though his opinion and contributions aren’t welcomed or embraced. Once a marriage hits this bump in the road, it can be difficult to get it back on a loving and mutually respectful path.

Talk to Your Wife About Your Concerns

Before you can work on changing how your wife views you, you must get to the root of why she holds the opinion of you that she does. In some marriages, it’s obvious in that the husband refuses to take on the necessary responsibility that a married partner must carry. This may manifest itself in a man who hasn’t chosen a career path yet even though he’s been out of college for a decade, or it can be a man who insists on splurging on things that the couple can’t afford.

If you’re unsure why your wife continually views you as immature, ask her. You must be prepared to hear some difficult things about yourself. In fact, when you ask your wife about how she sees your behavior, this may actually open the floodgates and she’ll pour out every criticism she has of you.

View this as a step in a positive direction. Try not to become defensive. Instead, absorb it as a tool for change and a means towards a closer, more enriching marriage.

Do Things Within Your Marriage That Command Respect

If someone views you as immature it may be a sign that they simply have little or no respect for you. In the case of a married couple, this can stem from any number of circumstances but it’s generally something that can be rectified.

Commanding respect may feel like an ominous task, particularly in the case of a man who wants his wife to show him more respect. But it’s often your own view of yourself that others will follow. For instance, if you don’t take care of yourself physically or emotionally, your wife may start to believe that you don’t value yourself. In turn, she’ll begin to devalue you as well which can result in her seeing you as someone who isn’t on the same level as she is.

Working on improving yourself is a simple way to garner more respect from your wife. Take stock of where your life is compared to where you want it to be at this point. Perhaps you believed that you’d be running your own company by the age of thirty, or maybe you envisioned yourself a successful investor by the time you entered your forties. Whatever your life goals have been now is the time to redefine them and start making them a reality.

When a person invests more energy, care and time in themselves, others follow that lead. That’s why you must start putting more effort into becoming the man you know you’re capable of. You can show your wife, through dedicated actions, that you aren’t the immature boy that she believes she marries. Instead, begin showing her that you are indeed a focused and mature man who now sees the potential within himself.

Don’t Try and Hurt Your Wife in Retaliation for Her Criticism

When a person we love hurts us verbally there’s a very strong temptation to throw something just as hurtful back in their direction. You may have already done this with your wife when she referred to you as immature. If you have, ensure that it’s the last time it happens.

If you fall to the same level of your wife and throw hurtful words in her direction, you are showing her that you are the definition of immature. You are, in fact, proving her own point for her. Children like to engage in hurtful banter that often results in one person being so stung that the relationship will never be the same. It’s much worse when it’s married adults who are engaging in this type of destruction behavior.

The next time your wife tells you that she thinks you are immature, you need to respond in a very specific way. Look her straight in the eye and calmly say, “you are entitled to your opinion, but I disagree.” Then end the conversation by leaving the room or saying goodbye if it’s via telephone. Don’t engage her a moment longer because if you do you will be tempted to say things that will escalate the situation until you both are hurt.

If you repeatedly handle the situation with this type of dignity and grace your wife will soon realize that her words are hollow. You’ll be showing her that you are indeed mature, calm and reasonable.

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Source by Gillian Reynolds

Views: 0

July 22, 2022
My Wife Accuses Me of Cheating and I’m Not! How to Calm Her Suspicions

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You feel as though your wife is paranoid, don’t you? It’s hard not to given the fact that she’s constantly accusing you of cheating on her. You have virtually no idea why she’s so suspicious and even though you try hard to calm her fears because they’re baseless, she still goes on and on about how she’s certain you’re not being true to her. It’s incredibly frustrating to be in your position because you are forced to prove your innocence on a daily basis. Why is it that some women become so convinced that their husband is cheating, even when he’s not? Is there a way you can stop her from worrying so you two can just focus on how fulfilling and devoted your marriage really is?

Before I delve further into how you can calm her suspicions, I’d like to address a possibility that you may never have entertained. Human psychology can be a very puzzling thing and there are often hidden clues in a person’s actions that we don’t ever recognize. Such is the case with a wife who accuses her husband of cheating even though he is completely and utterly devoted to her. Sometimes, when a person is being unfaithful, they will take to accusing their spouse of similar behavior. There are actually a couple of reasons why this happens.

First, and foremost, if a wife is indeed being unfaithful she is conscious of having to cover up her infidelity. To that extent she’s going to be more aware when something seems not quite right with her husband. For instance, if you hide your cell phone away in your pocket when you’re home, she may notice that your behavior mirrors her own so she’s going to jump to the conclusion that you are also cheating. The other reason a wife will sometimes accuse her husband of adultery, when in fact she’s guilty of it, is just that. Her guilt is so much that she needs to find a way to displace it so she directs it towards her husband so as to take the bulk of the burden off herself.

Please note that this is not always the case when a wife has become very accusatory. In most cases, it has nothing to do with the wife’s own devotion to the marriage, and it’s more much a self esteem related issue.

Your wife may be overly suspicious of your connections with other women because she isn’t happy with who she is. This can occur after a woman has been married for a time and her husband just doesn’t put in the same effort to make her happy as he once did. It also tends to be a problem for women who aren’t happy with themselves in a physical sense. If your wife looks in the mirror and doesn’t find her own body appealing, she’s going to assume you feel much the same way about it.

Calming these fears can be done but it does take time and patience. You must devote yourself to helping your wife embrace who she is, exactly as she is now. That means making more complimentary comments about how much you love and desire her. It means encouraging her to chase her own dreams and to do the things she finds fulfilling. You have to support your wife in every way imaginable. By doing this you’ll be showing her that you believe in her which in turn, will help her believe in herself more.

It’s essential that you tell your wife how much you adore her on a regular basis. We all sometimes neglect our spouse, not out of intention, but merely out of circumstance. If your life has become very busy and you don’t spend as much time with your wife as you once did, change that now. Create more opportunities for the two of you to be together. Talk with her more, and more importantly, listen to her more. If she feels you are focused solely on her, she’s going to let go of any suspicions she may have had about you being involved with another woman.

It’s also good to allow your wife unlimited access to your life and everything that entails. Leave your cell phone in full view, even when you’re out of the room. Don’t rush to answer calls in private. Also, invite her to visit you at your office whenever she wishes. If you show her you have nothing to hide, she’ll come to believe it.

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Source by Gillian Reynolds

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July 20, 2022