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Tag: Wives

  • My Wife Is So Sensitive! How to Manage This in a Compassionate Way

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    Feeling as though you’re walking on eggshells in your own home is never a good thing. Although women don’t have the market cornered when it comes to sensitivity, it can be a huge issue for many wives. Living with a woman who is super sensitive leaves a man on edge and can affect the emotional connection he feels with his spouse. Trying to deal with this in an effective and compassionate manner takes some insight, some carefully chosen words and a lot of patience.

    It’s very rare for a woman who is sensitive to only be that way with her husband. Sensitive people tend to carry that trait into every relationship they have including work based ones as well as other family connections. If your wife is just as sensitive with her siblings, her parents or the people she works with, you can take at least some small degree of comfort in that. It doesn’t, however, help you to deal with it in a way that will help your wife manage her sensitivity issues while at the same time ensuring your marriage continues to grow.

    Since you are her life partner you must become the safest person in your wife’s life. You want her to feel as though you’re the one person who truly understands her and isn’t focused on hurting her. To that end you must treat her as the fragile person she is. Simply telling a sensitive person to grow a backbone or to grow up only makes matters worse. People who are sensitive by nature, absorb negative things very deeply so they continually need positive reinforcement.

    Tell your wife on a daily basis how special you believe she is. Give her examples of what you mean. If she’s a considerate and doting mother, tell her you recognize that. If she’s committed to her career and is a perfectionist in that regard, let her know that you deeply admire her drive. If she senses that you are her biggest supporter, she’s going to see you as the shining light of her life.

    It’s incredibly challenging to have any type of productive disagreement with someone who is very sensitive. Even one harsh comment or negative remark can set them into an emotional tailspin. Once that happens nothing is accomplished and the initial conflict becomes more far reaching because feelings are deeply hurt.

    It’s important not to approach your wife if you’re incredibly angry or frustrated. It can be hard to temper what you feel in a moment like that and you may inadvertently say something that will pain her deeply, causing her to retreat into herself. Whatever the conflict is, it will still be there in an hour or two when you’ve had time to cool down a bit and logically think about the best way to initiate a conversation with your wife about it. If you come to a discussion like this with a calm and rational tone, your wife won’t feel too defensive which will help you to solve whatever the problem is.

    You can’t control what anyone else says or does to your wife. Sensitivity is often accompanied with low self esteem issues. It might be commonplace in your marriage for your wife to feel hurt or rejected by others if they criticize her in anyway. Once this happens explain to her that she can’t please everyone but the people who love her most think she’s remarkable. Hearing those words from you, when she’s feeling down, will help her tremendously.

    Love your wife the best way you can and be her supporter at every turn. By being sensitive in your own way to her sensitivity issues you’ll build a stronger and more mutually satisfying marriage. Your wife needs you to understand her so show her that you’re going to do that and more by always being mindful of her feelings.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • Are You Ready To Marry A Politician?

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    When love strikes, you cannot just turn it away. And so in many cases, women cannot easily say no when they feel it’s the right man who’s wooing them. This is regardless of the position he holds in his public or private job.

    In the case of male politicians, many people believe these people have a strong sex appeal. Their power more than their looks and personality attracts women.

    If you’re a woman being pursued by a politician, would you be willing to be married to him? Is it really difficult to become the wife of a man who’s a popular political figure? What are the challenges that lie ahead in your life?

    Based on the experiences of politician’s wives, it is never easy to be married to a political figure. One reason is that when the person in authority commits some blunder, it is the wife that suffers from embarrassment. She may also become the object of criticisms which can cause so much stress in her life.

    Another challenge that often haunts a politician’s wife is infidelity. There have been numerous cases of people in government as well as members of the senate and congress getting involved in illicit affairs to the detriment of their spouses. But through all those trials, it is often the wife who continues to stand by their men and accept them back.

    It really depends on the woman if she’s willing to become a politician’s wife. Before you make a decision, it would be a good idea to weigh things and determine whether you’re strong enough to face those possible difficulties that will come along in your life.

    In terms of personality, you need to develop a strong character. It’s an advantage if you already possess this but if not, you should find a way to gather emotional strength to enable you to hurdle life’s challenges. The process may not be that easy but at least, you’re doing your best to prepare yourself for your future situation.

    Another trait you should have is to be sociable. This is very important because you will be attending many numerous social functions and civic activities while your husband is in politics. By knowing how to interact with people from all levels of society, you can contribute to your partner’s positive image and you’ll also learn more about the issues in the community where you live in.

    Patience and tolerance are vital traits as well. Your husband may get involved in various issues that could impact your family life so you need to stretch your patience more often than not. With his busy schedule, he will surely not have enough time for his family so again, your patience is necessary.

    Finally, you can always seek marriage counseling if you’re having difficulty dealing with your life. You may just have to keep it to yourself that you’re attending counseling sessions as the moment this leaks to the media, you’ll become the subject of news once again. Being discreet then is another trait you need to practice.

    Being married to a politician is no joke but if you think the man is worth your love, then nobody can stop you.

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    Source by Kalyan Kumar

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  • My Husband Doesn’t Love Me As Much As I Love Him – Tips and Advice That Might Help

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    I often hear from wives who have some issues with whether their husbands are “in love” with them or not. And, if the husbands are, the wives often measure this love by degrees, as compared to how much the wife loves him. I often him comments like “my husband doesn’t love me nearly as much as I love him. I make all of the concessions and advances in the relationship. He never makes any effort or shows me any attention or affection. It’s as if he merely tolerates me. He doesn’t ask me about my day or make any effort to engage with me. It’s like I’m someone who just merely coexists. On a scale of one to ten, I love him on a level that’s an eleven. And he loves me on a level that’s about a one.”

    I understand that this is a lonely and frustrating place to be. I experienced this in my own marriage and the way I handled this almost ended that same marriage. Through experience and research, it’s become pretty clear to me that there’s a right way and wrong way to handle this situation. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Score keeping Is Not The Best Idea For A Marriage. The Question Isn’t Which Spouse Loves The Other The Most: The Question Is Do Both Spouse’s Feel Loved?: I understand how depressing it feels when you suspect that you’re the only one who’s really “in love” or trying to keep the marriage afloat. But sometimes, wives focus so much on measuring how much their husband loves them against some imaginary yard stick that has few (if any) implications on real life. This doesn’t really do anything to change or improve their situation.

    I often tell wives to give up comparisons and worry instead about whether they’re feeling loved, wanted and valued. Obviously, the answer is most likely to be negative, but at least you’ve shifted your focus from score keeping to something on which you can take concrete action.

    It can also be very important to understand that men aren’t as demonstrative as women. So, expecting your husband to be a spouse that compares to you in terms of demonstrating their feelings may not be totally realistic. Very few husbands express their love and affection in the way that wives typically do. This doesn’t mean that they don’t love you enough. It just means that you’ll need to teach him how to express himself and you’ll need to encourage the behaviors that make you feel noticed, understood, and loved.

    Some wives tell me that they resent having to do all the work and having to train their husband to do something that he should just automatically do. These points are certainly valid. But, in my experience, it’s better to give a little in exchange for getting what you truly want than to remain angry, frustrated and indignant while you’re not getting your needs met. It’s important to address and fix this before you yourself begin to withdraw. Because when you have to spouses who are on the edge of indifference, this can leave the marriage in real trouble.

    When You’re Worried That Your Husband’s Lack Of Affection For You Means He’s Not Invested In The Marriage Or May Eventually Want Out: I often find that the wives who tell me that their husband’s don’t love them enough fall into two camps. The first is a situation where the marriage is probably really OK, but the husband has either gotten into the habit of not showing his affection or needs to relearn that lesson. This scenario is easier to fix.

    The second scenario is that the husband’s lack of affection is due to issues within the marriage or with his no longer being invested in it. This is the scenario which you often can not afford to ignore. Because often, his withdrawing from you is a symptom of a much bigger problem. So, attempting to teach a husband to show you the feelings that just aren’t there isn’t likely to work.

    Instead, you’ll need to examine why the feelings have left, fix and address the issue, and then reevaluate. This is likely easier said than done. Because in the same way that husband’s aren’t demonstrative, they also often don’t have a firm grip on their feelings and perceptions. They may well know that something is wrong and act upon it. But, unlike us, they don’t lay awake at night exploring and turning over the issue. They’re more reactive. When something is wrong, they withdraw and reshuffle their efforts instead of thinking about their feelings.

    They may not even be aware that they are doing this or even understand why they are doing it. And that can be one reason that they insist that nothing is wrong or that you’re imagining things. Since they haven’t pondered what the issue is (or even that it exists) you look like a real nag or complainer when you address the symptom of it. That’s why you’re often much better off just working and acting on your own (especially at first.)

    One of the biggest mistakes that I see many wives make is that they harp on a sensitive subject with an already distant and detached husband. So, they’re already on shaky ground and it’s clear he’s resistant, but they think that if they can just get him to “work” on solving the problem, things will get better. The problem with this is that he’s already begun to withdraw. He likely doesn’t want to “work” on the marriage, at least right now. You’ll have to return him to a point of being invested before you can gain any real ground.

    Most wives understand this deep down, but they hesitate or rush because they don’t know how to get their husbands to be receptive to them again. The key is often to take inventory of the marriage and see where the husband might not be getting what he wants and then to provide that without needing to have any large or painful discussions about the same.

    And, that’s a common place where wives get stuck. I often hear comments like “But how am I supposed to do this? I’m already the one whose providing all of the attention and affection and that’s not working either.” Often the question really isn’t the demonstrative affection (at least on the husband’s end.) The real issue is often the real connection, and the feeling of being truly heard, valued and understood. It’s also important that both parties know that no one is going through the motions, score keeping, nagging, or trying to manipulate the other.

    I often tell wives to focus on what they can do very genuinely and convincingly. Husbands know when you’re just putting on a show or trying to overcompensate for what is really the underlying problem. They don’t want more of the same. They don’t want to be manipulated. They often want real change and improvements instead of worrying about how things look on the outside.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • What Can I Say To Make My Husband Understand The Pain That His Cheating Has Caused?

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    It’s very common from me to hear from wives who are struggling to explain to their husbands just how much his cheating or affair hurt them and caused them pain. But often, their husband doesn’t react in the way that they were hoping for and they are looking for a way to explain their feelings so that he actually understands them.

    I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I have repeatedly tried to explain to my husband the depth of and reasons for my pain after his infidelity, but he either doesn’t want to hear it or he’s not understanding what I’m saying. Sometimes, I pour my heart out to him and try to explain how he has hurt me and all I get is blank stare back or empty assurances that he really is trying. This is so frustrating to me because I need him to understand the extent of my pain so that I can have some reassurance that he’ll never cheat again. I want him to understand why I sometimes act in the way that I do because of what a grave mistake he has made. But part of me thinks that he’s unwilling or just incapable of hearing me. How can I explain my pain in a way that he’ll actually understand and be willing to listen?” I’ll address these concerns in the following article.

    Pick The Right Time And Know That, Once You Start Repeating Yourself, Your Words Lose Their Effectiveness: I hear from both wives who are faithful and husbands who are not on my blog and I can tell you that if you are constantly talking about your hurt and pain, eventually, even the most sincere husband will begin to tune you out. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. And husbands will often want to place their focus on moving on while the wife wants to place her focus on understanding and digging a little deeper.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband doesn’t care about your pain or just doesn’t want to hear it. But, at least sometimes, he hears your words as accusations. He might constantly hear that his selfishness and weakness has hurt you deeply and this just isn’t a message that he wants to hear on a continual basis, day after day. Men will often give comments like “she constantly wants to tell me how much the infidelity has hurt her. I do believe and understand that and I’m sorry for it. But, do I really need or have to listen to what an awful person I am every single day? How many times does she need to explain where I went wrong or how awful I am before she will feel satisfied that she’s said it enough? I tell her I’m deeply sorry. I listen. But it doesn’t seem to be enough and we repeat this process constantly.”

    I’m not telling you this to imply that you can’t regularly discuss and try to work through the infidelity. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand the obstacles that are in your way and the dynamics that are at play here. If you really want your husband to listen and to take your words to heart, then sometimes you have to pick the right time and limit the message so that it has the maximum impact.

    Consider What Your Husband Is Actually Going To Hear Before You Say The Words: I alluded to this in the previous paragraph, but sometimes the message that your husband hears has more to do with your tone and your delivery than the words that you say. So you might say something like “your infidelity has hurt me deeply. It’s made me doubt your integrity and your love and commitment to me. It’s affected my self esteem and my level of trust. And I’m not sure when things are going to get any better.”

    But what he hears is often something more in line with: “your poor decision to cheat on me has ruined my life and will probably ruin our marriage. You are an awful, selfish person with very little impulse control. And your actions have caused me so much pain that I might not ever fully recover. Because of this, I am going to feel pain and resentment every time I look at you or even think of you. And, this is going to be our lot in life from this day on because I don’t anticipate any changes.”

    These examples might seem a little extreme, but they aren’t that far off from the comments that I hear. An unfaithful husband can hear a message that you never intended. And because of this, he is often somewhat resistant to that message. Of course, the wife will often take this to mean he isn’t listening or he just doesn’t care and so she will continue to repeat herself with more feeling. And of course, this just keeps the cycle going. She doesn’t feel heard and he feels beaten down and neither person is getting what they want or need.

    If you think about it, what you probably really want is to feel heard. You want for him to know, understand, (and even feel) your pain because if he does, he’s less likely to cheat again and more likely to show the remorse that so many of us really want and need. So, think about what’s most likely to accomplish this.

    You don’t want to come across as too accusatory or too despondent because unfortunately, these things will contribute to him feeling defensive and to tuning you out. Instead, you want to use “I” phrases so that it sounds as if you’re talking responsibility for your own feelings and you’re not just trying to lay on the blame or make him feel continuously guilty for the rest of his life. And, you want to choose the time when your message is most likely to be heard. You don’t want to try to explain yourself in the middle of a fight or when you’re main goal is to hurt him. I’ve found that the message is often more likely to be heard if you say it when things are going a little more positively and both people are calm.

    An Example Of What To Say To Express The Pain His Cheating Has Caused: An example would be something like: “if this is a good time, I’d like to briefly explain how much your infidelity has hurt me. I’m not doing this to punish you or to paint you as a horrible person. I love you and don’t think you’re an awful person, but I need to feel as though you care enough to hear me. And I need to know that you truly understand so that you will hesitate to cheat again. Having someone who you love more than anything betray you in this way is something that is more devastating and hurtful than I could have ever imagined. It calls into doubt things about your marriage and yourself that are just devastating. Can you even begin to put yourself in my shoes and imagine that the rolls were reversed? Because I need to know that you understand how much pain I’m in so that we can begin to move forward once and for all. I don’t intend to keep bringing this up, but before I move on, I need to know that you truly understand.”

    Phrasing like this is much more likely to get the response and the understanding that you are after. But you can only play this card so often before your husband begins to tune you out. So once you’ve laid your cards on the table, it’s best to begin to move forward so that your husband can see that you’re sincere about not using your words to continuously punish him.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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  • My Husband Keeps Saying That He’s Going to Leave Me – Tips and Advice That May Help

    My Husband Keeps Saying That He’s Going to Leave Me – Tips and Advice That May Help

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    I recently heard from a wife who confided that every time that she and her husband disagreed or hit a rough patch in their marriage, the husband pulled out what the wife called the “leave card.” She told me: “every time things get rough, my husband says he’s going to leave. He’s packed his bags before, but he’s never actually left. Still, this hurts me and I’m getting tired of it. How can I make him see how old these threats are getting? At the same time, I’m afraid that someday soon, he’s actually going to follow through and walk out the door. I’m not sure what to do or how to handle this.”

    This type of correspondence is not all that uncommon. I hear many comments like this. And I can absolutely identify with these wives. This is a very difficult position to be in. It’s hard to move forward and to improve matters with the constant threat of him leaving hanging over your head. You can start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells or have to edit yourself or hold back in some way. So it’s very advisable to consider being proactive and addressing this before things deteriorate any more. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Asking Him To Stop Constantly Making The Threats To Leave You And The Marriage: Admittedly, I don’t personally know this couple. But, from the little bit that the wife told me, two immediate facts jumped out and seemed most important. First, despite the husband’s repeated threats, he had not left. He was still there, repeating the same old things. This tells us that he’s either not 100% committed to leaving or he’s not yet reached the breaking point or place where it’s feasible or comfortable to move on.

    The second thing that was important was that the husband kept repeating the threats. Now, the wife was very frustrated with this, but one possibility was that the husband was repeating or accelerating his words because nothing was changing or improving and this was the only way that he knew to attempt to get the response that he wanted. Sometimes, people keep repeating the same patterns out of frustration. And, sometimes, they do this because they know no other way.

    But whatever the reason for this negative cycle, I felt that the wife might gain some ground if she approached this subject with both directness and empathy. It was going to be very hard for the two of them to get on the same page when he kept on retreating. So, the next time that he started with the “I’m just going to leave you,” talk, I felt that the wife should have asked him to sit down and talk about this for a minute.

    With a break in the action, the wife might consider telling the husband that they both knew that this was a path that they had been down many times before. And yet, nothing was really changing except that they were both getting frustrated with the same old course of events that never yielded the outcome that either of them really wanted. I suggested that the wife offer to make the husband a deal. She would genuinely listen to why he felt the way that he did and make a very honest effort to address and improve things if he would stop with threats to leave her every time things got tough.

    Understanding The Opportunity That Has Presented Itself And Taking Positive Action To Stop This Cycle: I understood why the wife doubted that she was in so great of a position, but I had to admit to her that there were some advantages that she did have. On an almost daily basis, I hear from wives who were either served divorce papers or who came home to an empty house missing a husband (because he left) with seemingly no warning whatsoever. These women would’ve loved to have had a warning period and a chance to fix things before this action was taken.

    So, while the wife was tired of all this, she had to admit that she still had a chance to make things better and to save the marriage. This was an advantage as was the fact that, despite all of his empty words and posturing, the husband was still there. Clearly, he wasn’t sure that he really wanted to leave, but he was sure that he wanted change that he wasn’t getting, which is why this cycle kept repeating itself.

    Once the wife was able to see this, she was willing to approach things differently. But, before she charged forward wanting to make drastic changes, I told her that it might be a good idea to focus on reconnecting. There was a lot of underlying resentment and anger and I felt that the changes and efforts might not last if they attempted to work things out while both people were still a little lukewarm to one another.

    Do you remember when you were first together and your issues were always little spats that passed over quickly? This is because you were deeply connected and didn’t want to allow for anything to derail that process. Sure, things change and people mature. But often, you’ll find that if you can get to a place where you feel genuine affection and empathy for your spouse, working out the remaining issues becomes so much easier and you’re much less likely to continue to hear the threats that neither one of you are listening to anymore anyway.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • What Do Wives Do To Get Their Separated Husbands To Come Home?

    What Do Wives Do To Get Their Separated Husbands To Come Home?

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    I sometimes hear from wives who want to know “the secret” that separated wives use to get their husbands to come home. I often hear comments like: “what do those women do to get their separated husbands to willingly come home? They must be doing something that I’m not doing. Because in my mind, I have tried everything but my husband isn’t even remotely interested in returning home.” I heard from a wife who said: “my husband and I separated about the same time as our neighbors separated. My female neighbor and I would often have dinner together and discuss strategies. Well, her husband came home last weekend ready to work things out and mine is still living away from me and is showing no signs that he might return. What did she do that I didn’t? Because when I ask her this, she says she can’t pinpoint anything that she said or did. She said that her husband just seemed ready to come home. What is she doing that I’m not? I need to know how all of these wives get their husbands to come home so that I can do the same things because I miss him and need him here.”

    I could completely understand this wife needing answers. I was separated myself a few years ago and I was absolutely desperate for any answers. I was willing to try absolutely anything to get my husband to come home. And sometimes, I feel as if that were part of the problem. While I was grappling for answers, my desperation got the better of me and I jumped around trying different things and changing behaviors, which eventually just made things worse.

    I think that sometimes, the husband is just ready to come home or he just comes to his own realizations. But I think that other times, there are things that some wives are able to do to nudge their husband to come home a little sooner. Through research, I learned some of these methods which really helped me and I will share some of them with you now.

    Some Wives Plant The Idea That Their Husband Has Something Meaningful To Come Home To: This is common sense, but it is so often missed. In order for your husband to come home, he will often need to believe that his quality of life with you at home is going to be much better than his quality of life without you away. Sometimes, this isn’t very difficult because your husband is having bad experiences or feelings while he is away. But other times, this can be a little more difficult because, even if the husband isn’t completely happy away, he is able to avoid the conflict and the drama of life at home when the future of his marriage is uncertain.

    Coming home sometimes leaves him with an unknown. And since he can’t see into the future, he will often rely on past behavior. If the past leaves you a lot to overcome, then you will have to rebuild the trust and allow him to see how or why things might change when or if he comes home. He must believe that things are going to be better at home not just for the short term or the long term. Sometimes, this takes time and requires you to carefully lay the groundwork.

    You’ll want to be patient, understanding, and easy to approach and talk to. If the two of you argue when you are together (or even argue about his coming home,) then he will understandably have doubts about moving forward and coming home. After all, if you can’t get along now, what is going to change once he comes home?

    Separated Wives Who Nudge Their Husbands Home Will Often Cultivate A Playful New Dynamic Between Them: Many wives whose husbands are eventually lured back will admit that they were able to put their fear aside, at least while their husband was present. They were able to keep things light hearted and positive, even if they didn’t always feel this way deep inside. They did this because they knew that when things went well with their husband, then he was more willing to see or interact with them in the future. They also knew that keeping things light and playful would help to neutralize what was already a stressful situation. They suspected that focusing on fear and uncertainty was only going to make things worse.

    I know first hand that this is sometimes challenging to pull off. Sometimes, you feel anything but upbeat, and you really have to look at the big picture so that you don’t just give into your negative feelings and make things worse. But in the end, it is worth it. As I improved my attitude, our relationship improved. And my husband was more willing to spend time with me. And as he was more willing to spend time with me, I made each encounter count so that things continued to get better and better.

    Successful Wives Don’t Try To Rush Or Push Their Husbands To Come Home Before He’s Truly Ready: Here’s one last important point. When things are going well, it’s extremely easy to be quite tempted to suggest that your husband comes home the second that your situation improves. Sometimes, this is a mistake. It’s often better if you can wait for him to suggest that he is ready to come home. At the very least, make sure that he is enthusiastic and willing before you suggest it. Because, if you suggest it to soon, he may well think that your light hearted and easy going attitude was only meant to get him home. He may worry that once he gives in and comes home, you’re going to drop the act. And this is the last thing you want. You want for him to not only believe that things are going to change and improve, you want that to be the truth so that your marriage not only reconciles, it lasts for the long haul and it makes you both happy.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • How To Make Your Rebellious Wife a Submissive Wife

    How To Make Your Rebellious Wife a Submissive Wife

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    All too frequently in the regular or secular world exist the battle and the discussion about women who ought to submit to men. Do an Internet search on “rebellious wives” or “rebellious women” and you will find this is no small concern, nor is there a shortage of opinions. There are Rebellious Magazine For Women, Rebellious Thoughts of A Woman, videos of men chastising women to submit, etc. Christians carry a greater volume of the discussion since in books of the Bible like Ephesians, Colossians, and 1 Peter clearly says that “…submit yourselves to your own husbands” (NIV).

    Even government and political issues have no protection from this culturally unsettling thought as presidential candidate Michele Bachman was asked if she is a “submissive wife” in an Iowa GOP debate.

    Well, while we are in the mood of celebrating “Fathers Day” I want to bring an answer and the solution to men and likely fathers who are being shredded emotionally by this psychological think-tank we have created around this issue. Regardless of my position as an author, speaker, and more for family legacy issues, I deliver this more from a man and father who has a willingly submissive wife. Yet my wife is a mother, career woman, independently strong, and opinionated. However there is no conflict in her submission. Why, you ask?

    The way to make rebellious wife a submissive wife is to:

    1) Be a considerate husband – Have knowledgeable and intelligent understanding of your wife. Be a student of your wife at all levels of intimacy and not just pertaining to sexuality. Give her honor which is more from your ready preparation to endure the price of deep suffering for her. This is the same price that is meant by the readiness to die protecting your wife and children.

    2) Acknowledge her as the weaker vessel – Remember that a vessel is very rarely ever interpreted as something abstract; rather there is always tangibility to the context of its use. As such the expression of weaker is clearly addressing a physical aspect of the woman or your wife, and not mental (intelligence), psychological, or emotional. Our society has abused this expression greatly.

    3) Realize your equality with your wife – This speaks of yours and your wife’s level of importance. Between the two of you there is none favored; you are absolutely equals in the essence of your relationship. So does the Bible contradict itself by repeatedly stating “wives must submit”? No, the Bible’s call is strictly based on the roles we must play as a husband and wife.

    4) Intercede on her behalf in purity – Your purity of heart, actions, and thoughts carry a great importance and is the determinant your consistency or inconsistency in attitude towards her. More importantly your purity is critical to your prayers for her and your children before God.

    If you can authentically demonstrate, personify, and exemplify these four components within the nature of your relationship to your wife, I promise you a rebellious wife will fast become a submissive wife to and for you. The truth is your wife is design to be incapable of not submitting. In honesty, she does not have a problem submitting to a man. She simply has a problem submitting to you as a man. Sadly, you are the only one she is truly designed/created to submit to. The great news…it can be fixed.

    By the way, here is the source of my wisdom:

    1 Peter 3:7 (AMP)

    In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an[c]intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]

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    Source by Ezechiel Bambolo, Jr

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  • 5 Major Reasons Why Marriages Break

    5 Major Reasons Why Marriages Break

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    Love: Yes, I mean love. I know you are wondering how love could cause a break up. It is believed that love is the basis of marriage. It is love that brings about marriage. You only marry once you realize that you love somebody else just as yourself. You can not marry somebody you hate. Unless is for some other reasons. When the sweet love you once shared turn into bitter, marriage is set to break. How will one live with a person that she / he resents so much. It is impossible, and that is why, most couples choose to separate and go their on ways. Every human being want to be loved. therefore, where there is no love, couples never stay together for long.

    In-laws: What part does in-laws play in your marriage? Well, there is no marriage without in-laws. When couples get married, they automatically get in-laws. Some of these in-laws are the best and some are the worst. One could wonder whether they ever wanted their son / daughter to marry. They interfere with their children's / brother's / sister's marriage a lot. Who is to blame in this case? In most cases, it is the in-laws from the husband's side that bring all these problems. In such cases the blame goes to the man. He should stand up for his wife at all time even if she is wrong. He should not be the one inciting his people against the wife. Am sorry to say this but some husbands have the audacity to bad mouth their wives to their families. Tell me, won't your in-laws hate you when they hear such bad things coming from your own husband? If you allow your family interfere so much in your marriage, then know that with time, your wife will get tired and call it a quit!

    Infidelity: This is the worst of them all. No one desires to be cheated on by the partner.in fact, if discovered by the other party, there is no forgiveness. When a man discovers that his wife is cheating on him, he can do the worst to the man involved with his wife. Women are lenient. On their part, they can forgive their husbands but will never ever love them again. Some women end up choosing to leave the man and even demand for divorce.

    Comparisons: This is a very painful reason for break ups. when a spouse chooses to constantly compare his / her spouse to another, it really hurt much. Even though the one doing it, could be doing it so unknowingly. In some cases, the spouse who does this comparisons, is aware of it and usually do it purposefully to hurt the spouse. The targeted spouse may in some cases, try to much up to the party being compared to and if the sacrifice is not noticed, this may lead to a break up.

    Physical, emotional and mental abuse: This is one of the major causes for marriage break ups. One couple could be abusive to the other partner. This could be physical / emotional torture. An abusive spouse is worse than a murderer. The reason is: they usually use intimidation and manipulation to keep the abused partner under control at all time. They are sadist! They never want to see their spouses happy! They beat them up, call them all sort of abusive names and even cause the other partner feel useless and unworthy. With such, the marriage will definitely break up especially when the abused get tired of constantly being abused.

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    Source by Leah Simiyu Mbatha

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  • My Husband Says He’s Going To Leave Me, And Yet He’s Still In Our Home – Why?

    My Husband Says He’s Going To Leave Me, And Yet He’s Still In Our Home – Why?

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    Often, when a husband announces that he is going to leave, a wife expects him to promptly pack his bags and begin the separation. It’s not that this is what the wife wants to happen. But when someone makes an announcement that is this serious, well, the assumption is that no one would want to drag their feet on this, as once the decision has been made, it’s probably easier to just go ahead and move out.

    However, this isn’t what always happens. Some husbands make this announcement and then they don’t really move out right away. Some are still telling their wives that they are leaving even as they continue to park themselves on the couch and make use of the refrigerator. A wife might say: “I truly don’t get it. Three weeks ago, my husband came home and announced that he is going to leave me. He said that our marriage hasn’t been good for a while now and that he thinks that we should take a break and live apart to see what happens. This isn’t what I want. In my heart, I feel like if he leaves, he might never come back and we might end up divorced. He actually told me that he wanted to leave on a Friday night. I expected him to move out that weekend. Why wait? If you’re going to take the initiative to tell your wife that you are going to leave her, I would think that you would want to leave as soon as possible. That isn’t the case, though. It’s three weeks later and he’s still in our house. He’s still complaining. He’s still saying he’s going to leave and yet he is still here. I’m afraid to ask him why he’s still here because I am afraid that he would take that to mean that I wanted him out. My mom says that he is essentially free loading or that he’s too lazy to find a new place, but that doesn’t make sense, as my husband earns more than I do. Why do men say that they want to leave their wives and then stay at home?”

    I can only speculate, because there are a variety of reasons. I will list some of them below so that you can see if any of them might ring true.

    He May Not Want To Actually Leave And Was Just Trying To Get A Reaction: Sometimes, a husband truly is frustrated with the marriage or the situation, but he doesn’t know how to create change. He may have tried to make a change without success or he’s afraid that you will be resistant or defensive. So he puts the “leaving” out there in the hopes that you will try to stop him or that you will then be open to negotiating change.

    He May Be Trying To Move Out At The Right Time Or In The Right Way: Some husbands do take their time in actually moving out. Many aren’t all that excited about moving from their familiar and comfortable home into a smaller apartment. Others will try to leave their wife in a good place before they physically move out. What I mean by that is that some will complete repairs and necessary maintenance before they leave so that their wife doesn’t have to worry about this.

    He May Be Having Second Thoughts: This is the final suggestion that I will make. We all say things or make decisions out of frustration, only to have second thoughts later. Actually moving out of your home and pursuing a marital separation is a huge step. And it would be completely normal for him to reconsider and then to hesitate to admit this. It’s possible that he’s hoping that this will just blow over or that you will ask him not to leave.

    Deciding Where To Go From Here: Since you can’t know which of the above is true (unless he tells you,) then you have to ask yourself what really matters the most. If you want to save your marriage, then I think you have focus on the fact that at least he’s still there – whatever the reason. It’s so much easier to save your marriage when your husband is physically present. When he moves out, it can be difficult to reconnect and to not have repeated misunderstandings since communication is limited and not always face-to-face. Yes, I know that it is frustrating that he’s sending mixed signals and that this is confusing. But I think that it is better to focus on the fact that he is there rather than questioning him and then potentially forcing him out. If you can use this time to improve things so that he doesn’t follow through and leave, then that’s probably the best option.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • The Many Wives of Eliot Ness

    The Many Wives of Eliot Ness

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    Eliot Ness is most often known the character portrayed in The Untouchables, both on television and film. In both depictions, Ness is seen being somewhat of a family man with a wife. The television series starring Robert Stack brings out a more accurate depiction as it gets the name of his wife correct and gives him a son. The Brian DePalma film changes the names of his wife and gives him two fictional biological children.

    The prohibition agent who is credited with bringing down Al Capone is depicted in fiction literature as well. In Nemesis, he is seen going through a divorce, although the driving force of the story is his failed search for the Cleveland Torso murderer. In Chasing Eliot Ness, he is also seen going through a divorce from his first wife, Edna and at the end of the book, has remarried.

    Eliot Ness was married three times. Edna, Evaline and Elizabeth. He never had any biological children, although he and his third wife adopted a three year old son, Robert. He has no living descendants as his son died before having any children of his own. None of the women he married had biological children.

    According to his biography, Edna was his college sweetheart and first wife. She left Eliot Ness in 1938 and moved back to Chicago. At this time, Ness had a high profile job in Cleveland. This is depicted in both Nemesis and Chasing Eliot Ness.

    The second wife was Evaline, an artist. Like the prohibition agent, she liked the night life and did not seem to want to settle down with kids. Ness never owned a house, he always rented and traveled frequently. This marriage was of short duration and ended tumultuously, although neither party discussed what exactly caused the split.

    In television series, the Robert Stack character refers to his wife as Betty, although she is never seen on camera. This depiction is more accurate of the real life Eliot Ness character as he is rarely seen at home and his wife or family never comes between his zest for solving crimes. Although the television series is highly fictionalized when it comes to his crime solving, it is pretty accurate when it comes to his marriage.

    The reason for the confusion is due to the fact that Ness never told Fraley about his two previous marriages. Fraley did not know the crime stopper was married twice before when he wrote The Untouchables, which is pretty much just as much a work of fiction as Chasing Eliot Ness with regard to the personal life of this man.

    His wives are all long dead. None of them got into details about their personal life with the man who is credited with bringing down Al Capone. But according to books written on the subject, both fictional such as Chasing Eliot Ness and of a biographical nature, such as The Real Story Of Eliot Ness, all of the wives did have one complaint about him which might explain as to why he went through two divorces at a time when one was shocking.

    He was simply never home.

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    Source by Michelle Anne Williams

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