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  • Understanding Love's True Nature

    Understanding Love's True Nature

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    Since the dawn of homo sapiens, we have been investigating, experiencing, and trying to crack the secret code of love. Many of us seem to have forgotten that in the earlier days, free love was a scarcity. From aristocrats to slaves, marriages and relationships were often given as commands and choices of individuals in higher power and authority for political, religious, material and personal gains. Thus, there are the great love tragedies of "Romeo and Juliet" and "Abelard and Heloise", as well as countless others who were heedlessly persecuted for their innocent expression of love. These tragic love stories left many of us wondering, why is it so hard to love and what is like to experience that depth of love?

    Free will love has made much progress in the 21st century through the evolution of humans' love experiences, technological advancement, and cultural changes. In today's more liberal societies, people are given the freedom to choose and express their admirations and desires to the subjects of their affection with little or no consequences. However, in societies where we can freely choose whom we want to love, we have witnessed an increase in divorce rate, a decline in marriage rate, and more people delaying marriage for different reasons.

    Duality of Love

    But regardless whether we follow the "Abelard and Heloise" love model of 'following one to the end of the Hell' to 'you are just one of the 100 people that I am seeing and what is your name again?', We experience the universal conditions of pleasures and pains, the coming together, and the ultimate disintegration of love and relationships, no matter how little or how much we love. No matter how much wealth and power one possesses, one is still subject to others' emotional and physical transgressions.

    So, if we know the ultimate end to any love and relationship, why are we still relentlessly pursuing love, whether it is in the form of a committed monogamous relationship or sleeping with as many people as we can? What is it that we pursue in our teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and up to the moment of our death? And if we are to look back at our lives, would we regret the times we did not try harder, the people we have hurt, and most painful of all, we easily let go of that person who awakens our soul, only to learn so too late.

    Pleasures and pains are the twin brothers of love. We cannot expect one and not the other. We think we deserve God-like love and it is someone else's responsibility to make us happy. If we want God-like love, then we should put in God-like work. If we are not willing to open our hearts to experience judgements, disappointments, and pains in experiencing love, how can we ask for a love that brings us happiness? If we are not willing to overcome our egos and karmic conditionings, how we can manifest a love that brings us meaning? If we are not willing to heal our souls' deepest wounds, how can we expect to live without pain?

    Love's True Nature

    Perhaps we can think ourselves as individuals who have came together to help each other learn and master the experiences of love and separation in different forms: commitment, marriage, infidelity, rejection, betrayal, and abandonment. So, in facing repetitive failures, disappointments, and hurts, we don't easily give up, and we continue to seek, learn, and understand love's true nature. In doing so, we can look beyond the rise and fall of constant changes in our everyday interactions and relationships.

    We learn to not waste energy on trivial questions like why he / she never responded to my text or never called me back. We don't doubt our values ​​because the person we love chooses someone else and we respect his / her choice and will. We don't live the rest of our lives in disappointment and hurt over people's betrayal. We don't take the easy route of love at the expense of others.

    When we transcend our experiences and learnings, love is no longer an idea of ​​you, me, he, she, or us. To love is to release us from our pains, fears, regrets, shame, guilt, and delusions, so we can transcend beyond our limited perceptions of ourselves and what love is.

    We can overcome our conditioned desires that dictate our thinking, beliefs, and behaviors in relationships. We develop the wisdom and courage to stay true to our hearts and not give in to our fears and pains for short term pleasures and gains.

    In experiencing the beginning and end of all human love relationships and their associated pleasures and pains, we learn unconditional acceptance, forgiveness, and love.

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    Source by Wendy Lin

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  • Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?

    Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?

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    Your mindset, your thoughts, can buoy you up, inspiring you to take courageous action, or they can drag you down, keeping you up at night with worry and paralyzing you with fear. Even though our brains are wired to dwell on the negative, on past mistakes, how we think in this moment is something we can control.

    Changing our minds in the present moment can be hard work! I know from experience that when things aren’t going well, one of the toughest things to do is to turn your mind from impending doom to what is possible and what can be done.

    The good news is that the more you practice these mindset boosters, the easier they become. They do, in fact, become habits that kick in when you need them the most.

    The even better news is that the more you practice them, the more impact both you and your company will have. Staying on track and not allowing yourself to be pulled down will save you a lot of time and energy. The time and energy you free up can be spent on your company’s financial performance and having impact.

    S0 let’s look at ways you can do a mindset reset and the practices that will support you in doing so:

    The Future Doesn’t Just Happen – You Shape It Every Day

    Have you ever seen or read about people in the direst of circumstances who are transcendent, happy? And others who seem to have everything, and yet feel deprived? The way you choose to think about a situation, the parts of yourself that you call on, even dig deep for, are what determine your present and your future. Your thinking is integral to your character.

    When things look negative, question it. There’s always a way to think about a situation that includes a gift, an opportunity. This may seem contrived at first, but think about situations where you’ve suddenly had a shift in perspective and a solution appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. That’s the effect you want to be able to call on.

    “Circumstance does not make the person,

    it reveals the person to himself or herself.”

    ~James Allen

    People become leaders of successful, impactful companies by becoming the people who can lead those companies first. They walk with integrity. They make smart decisions. They step up and into opportunity with courage. They acknowledge their fears, but don’t indulge them. They learn and grow.

    You are becoming the leader of your high impact company right now, in how you show up every day. Treating people with respect. Listening to ideas. Choosing how you use your time and energy. Making decisions with your mind AND your heart.

    You can shape your future by consciously developing the mindset of the leader who leads your company in these ways.

    Doubling down on mission is one way to ensure that your company moves more in the direction of your impact. New Belgium Brewing became a benefit corporation in 2018, ingraining its commitment to internal and community impact in its legal framework, and is now the fourth-largest craft brewery in the US.

    Fear and Getting Through the Storm

    We all have fears. Fears about how the company will do financially this year, about that crucial new hire who looks promising but is unproven, or about how your new offering will fare in a busy market. Fears can abound, especially if nurtured and given attention.

    “The future you constantly worry about

    Is nothing other than a projection of fear and desire from the past.”

    ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    Fears can instead be a tool, an indicator. They can lead you to research, to ask good questions, and to explore options. As long as you don’t allow fears to take over the present, they can actually be valuable.

    One way to be vigilant about fears is with mindfulness. Mindfulness, that focus on the present, is more than a business fad. It’s a practice that decreases stress and increases productivity.

    The leaders of outdoor apparel maker Patagonia are committed to using their successful company as a vehicle to put mindfulness into action. Patagonia founder Yves Chouinard describes navigating what could be a terrifying Class 4 rapid as a teaching:

    • look ahead and prepare

      • be proactive
      • don’t ignore what is coming
      • think through scenarios
      • do what is necessary to get ready to the best of your ability
      • trust that you can handle whatever happens


    • go into a drop

      • take calculated risks
      • once you decide, follow through wholeheartedly


    • read the river

      • be vigilant
      • be perceptive
      • adjust as needed.

    That intuitive process has helped guide his business for the last 50 years. Chouinard believes that if the process isn’t sound, if your intentions don’t come from the right place, the outcome, even if profitable, doesn’t matter.

    Practicing wisdom by making decisions from a place of love rather than fear can open the door to creative solutions. When Patagonia’s CEO Casey Sheahan was faced with laying off 150 employees during the financial crisis, shortly after he took over from Chouinard, he was torn up about the decision. His wife asked him, “Are you making this decision from a place of fear, or from a place of love?” When he realized that it was fear driving the layoff decision, he found another way, leading to unheard-of sales levels after a few rocky quarters.

    Fear can be a driver of decisions and actions, but they don’t have to be. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book, Big Magic, tells the story of treating her fears like an inevitable passenger on a road trip. Fears can and will be there, but they can Never. Ever. Drive.

    Focus on Your Impact

    Do you find your Impact Purpose, a clear statement of the impact you want to have, inspiring? Does it fill you with energy? If it doesn’t, at least most of the time, you might be on the wrong track. Your clarity about the impact you want to have, whether it’s social or environmental or both, can serve as the rock on which you build your impactful business.

    When you steadily focus on your Impact Purpose, you’ll find your thoughts turning from short-term pain to what you could achieve in your business and community. This thinking about others, and not just yourself, is a way to bring you out of the doldrums or away from unhelpful divergent thinking, and back into focus on your impact.

    Reinforce this by having your Impact Purpose statement in front of you, every day. Have it on your desk or screen. In your wallet. On your fridge. Wherever you will be regularly reminded of what you intend, personally and with your company.

    Plan your day and week with your Impact Purpose in mind. Include it in your decisions about how time, money, and resources will be spent, and with whom. Thoughts aligned with purpose are a powerful creative force. Fill your attention with something worthwhile.

    The greatest achievement was at one time a dream. Stay with your dream. It’ll be part of your becoming.

    You Are the Company You Keep

    You may have heard the notion that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. That speaks to the influence that those around you have on your thinking and therefore on your actions.

    Some companies who are committed to having impact take this to a highly conscious level. Design firm LimeRed, led by Emily Lonigro Boylan, only works with individuals or organizations that have social impact. LimeRed only engages with clients whose values they share, who are kind and innovative, and who are also accountable to their stakeholders and communities.

    You as a business leader can also take this to another level by incorporating it into decisions about who you include on your team, your suppliers, and your partners. Do you vet who you work with every day through this lens? Do you extend this to your advisors, your pet projects, and your friends?

    You’re more likely to have impact when you devote all your energy and resources toward people and companies that also want to have impact in harmony with yours.

    Your mindset matters to your own fulfillment and well-being. It matters to your company, as you engage with your community and the larger world. Optimize your opportunity to have impact by doing this mindset reset.

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    Source by Ursula Jorch

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