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Tag: Weak

  • Relationships: Can Someone Be Emotionally Unavailable Even Though They’re In A Relationship?

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    It would be easy to believe that the people who are emotionally unavailable are single and the ones who aren’t are in a relationship. Or, if someone is emotionally available and single, it could just show that they are taking a break after going through a breakup, for instance.

    This is then typically going to be something that is very black and white. However, while it may seem as though this is the case, this outlook would have very little to do with how things actually are.

    An Illusion

    In the same way that someone who appears to be happy can be deeply unhappy on the inside; someone can be in a relationship but it doesn’t mean that they are truly in one. Still, from the outside it may appear as though they are in an intimate relationship.

    In fact, other people could often wonder what it would be like for them to be in a relationship like this. These people are then going to believe that this person has this area of their life handled, and are going to want to experience the same thing.

    Both Ways

    Furthermore, someone like this could also believe that they are in an intimate relationship. So, every part of their being is not going to be involved, but they will still see themselves as someone who is in a relationship.

    They are then going to share their mind and their body with their partner, yet the emotional part of their being won’t be fully on a board. This doesn’t mean that they won’t feel things, though.

    Absent

    Their body will then be with their partner, but their mind and heart can spend a lot of time being somewhere else; that is unless their heart has simply retracted. Now, this is not going to be the same as having distractions at work; it will mean that one will generally find it hard to be fully present with their partner.

    If their partner doesn’t have trouble being present, they might be able to sense that one is rarely, if ever, present. They might not be able to understand what is going on, but they will find it hard to deeply connect with them.

    The Clearest Sign

    If this is how someone is most of the time, it will be pretty clear that they are emotionally unavailable. Their partner shouldn’t need any more information in order to realise that something isn’t right.

    Nonetheless, if they are also emotionally unavailable, it might take a while for them to become aware of this. And even if this was to take place, if they are not aware of what is going on for them and the part that they will have played in being drawn to someone like this, they could end up feeling like a victim and blaming their partner.

    It’s not random

    What this comes down to is that they wouldn’t have randomly ended up with this person. This is not to say that they consciously chose to end up with them; it will have most likely been something that took place unconsciously.

    One way of looking at this would be to say that they were drawn to this person so that they could resolve their inner wounds and grow in the process. The only way this will happen is if they are aware of what is going on and don’t get caught up in their inner wounds.

    Back To the Main Point

    If someone is rarely present it will be clear that something is not right, and there can be other things that also reveal that they are not ready have an intimate relationship. Through having a weak connection with their emotions, it will probably be rare for them to relate to their partner on a deeper level.

    This can then cause the relationship to be very superficial and, thus, to lack the depth that is needed to enable a deeper connection to develop. As a result of this, the relationship might not progress.

    Avoiding Conflict

    Once the initial spark has died out and sexual side has settled down, there might not be a lot to hold the relationship together. But if their partner was to talk about how this, one could dismiss what they say.

    Another thing that they could do is to walk away if something like this is brought up, which will show that they are not willing to go there. This will be a further sign that they are only looking to get their feet wet, so to speak.

    An Obvious One

    If one was to continually talk about their ex, and even spent a fair amount of time with them, it is likely to show that something right. Their body could be in their present relationship but their heart could still be attached to their ex.

    It could go even further than this and one might actually still be sharing their body with their ex. If they are cheating on their partner, this will be another sign that they are not ready to commit.

    Awareness

    Obviously, the only way that someone can change their behaviour is they are aware of what is going on and have the desire to change. With this in mind, if one is in a relationship with someone who is not emotionally unavailable and they are not willing to do anything about it, it might be in their best interest to walk away.

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    If they are used to attracting people like this, it will be a good idea for them to take a deeper look into what is going on for them at a deeper level. The assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed here.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

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  • Christian Marriage Help: Five Causes of Weak Marital Boundaries

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    Are you looking for Christian marriage help to enable you to have stronger boundaries? If you have difficulty setting boundaries in your marriage you are probably tolerating more than you should and allowing yourself to be disrespected. Boundaries are simply what you will and won’t do and when communicated to your husband give him feedback on how you want to be treated. Here are five causes of weak marital boundaries:

    You don’t trust your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. If you don’t trust your thoughts, feelings and perceptions, you will doubt your convictions and decisions. You won’t be able to trust that what you want and need in your marriage is valid and worth taking a stand for. In order to stand in your truth, you have to know your truth (Ephesians 6:14).

    You would rather give in than have conflict. If you run from conflict, boundaries will be hard for you. If you feel like you should keep the peace at all costs, then taking any type of stand in your marriage that will mean an argument will be very hard for you. Romans 12:18 says you should do whatever you can to keep the peace, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up your beliefs or that you can’t speak your truth.

    You think being a good Christian wife means submitting to your husband in everything. If you believe that God wants you to submit to everything your husband asks, then you will believe that you cannot have boundaries that say no to treatment you don’t want. Submission is part of a balanced partnership where the husband loves his wife and considers her needs as important as his own (Ephesians 5:22-33). You can say no to anything that doesn’t feel right or healthy and you are entitled to have boundaries.

    You are waiting for God to change your husband. If you are waiting for God to change your husband, then you are abrogating your responsibility to take stewardship of your own life. God doesn’t force people to change and he expects you to take responsibility for your own life. If you allow your husband to mistreat you, then you will be enabling him to sin.

    You know your husband won’t respect your boundaries anyway. When you know that something is unacceptable to you and you also know that your husband won’t do what you need him to do, it is harder to set your boundary because you are already figuring out if you have the strength to follow through with whatever consequence or action will be needed.

    Boundaries simply say what you are willing to do and not do. Each partner in a marriage has the right to say no. If you have weak boundaries, you have to understand the reasons why they are weak before you can begin to develop strong boundaries.

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    Source by Karla Downing

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  • Super HPV Cure – Use This Secret Remedy That Only Few Know To Cure HPV

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    HPV that causes genital warts in humans are thought to be incurable. Many people who are infected with this disease are forced to take modern medications that involves drugs to cope with the symptoms. The usual treatment for hpv include: freezing of the warts, surgical treatments to remove the warts, applying genital warts removing creams on affected areas etc. But in this article, I will reveal a secret remedy that no one has ever spoken about.

    Natural home remedies for genital warts such as applying, apple cider vinegar and tea tree oil are effective. But do you know that there is in fact a highly potent, special remedy for genital warts that are only known by few people? Doctors may have said that there is no cure for HPV and many people believed them and sort of resigned their fate to this disease. In this article I will reveal to you one super remedy that can cure your genital warts symptoms effectively and permanently.

    This super remedy is called the Black seed or Black cumin or Nigella sativa. Black seed or Nigella Sativa is often dubbed by healing experts from all over the world as the “cure to all ailments”. If you have been suffering long enough from the “incurable HPV and genital warts” symptoms, try doing this and see the results for yourself. I am sure that you will not be needing any steroids or antibiotics medications anymore.

    You see, most of our health complications have the same causes that is infection by micro-organisms such as bacteria, viruses, parasites and fungi. Nigella Sativa is very effective at treating your body as a whole. It actually combat and eliminate the root cause of the symptoms.

    If your immune system is either too weak or too strong, Black seed will regulate them in such a way that it will be able to excellently treat chronic, allergic and hormonal diseases. Not only that, Nigella Sativa or Black seed has many other benefits as well. It support your metabolism, improve your digestion, and lowers blood sugar levels.

    Treat your genital warts naturally and quickly. Be safe from dangerous side effects of modern medications which involves drugs and chemicals. Go over to my blog now, there are many info that you can read and benefit.

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    Source by Sam Simon

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  • Breaking Bad Habits – 5 Simple Steps for Changing a Habit

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    “Good habits are hard to develop but easy to live with” and “Bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with”, according to Brian Tracey, a well-known motivational teacher. You may recognize that to successfully manage habit changes, breaking bad habits may be required in order to develop new ones.

    Breaking bad habits takes at least 21 days. Of course, in difficult cases, it can take as long as a year. Here’s an example of the process of how to change an unhealthy habit to a healthy habit. Suppose you’ve decided that coffee is not good for you and right now, you drink coffee with sugar daily. The new habit you would like to institute is to drink herbal tea without sugar.

    At first, it may be challenging to break the bad habit of drinking coffee. You will have to use self-discipline for the first few weeks but gradually it will get easier. Once you are able to change the old habit to a new healthier one, it will serve you very well. Habits are remarkable because they don’t require thinking. You just “do it” for years until you find yourself changing the habit again.

    Here are 5 easy steps for changing habits:

    1. Awareness: You must become aware of your habits. What is this habit exactly? How is this bad habit or group of bad habits affecting you? How is this habit affecting others? For example, smoking often has negative effects on others as well as on you.

    2. Wanting to Change: As someone with a health problem, you must decide that breaking bad habits through a conscious effort is a worthy goal. You must convince yourself that the change in the habit is worth the effort involved.

    3. Commitment: You must be determined to do whatever it takes for breaking bad habits so that you can better control your life. You make a decision that “no matter what” you will change the habit. You do the work required to stop. Here are some examples of habits you might want to change: Smoking, eating too much, eating processed foods, not exercising, drinking coffee or other beverages with caffeine in them, eating too much sugar or fat, drinking alcohol, procrastinating, etc.

    4. Consistent Action: It is important to focus on changing just one habit at a time. Then, take consistent daily actions for breaking the bad habit that has been causing problems and take the actions to develop a new one. We suggest doing this process one step at a time rather than trying to do it all at once. Sometimes changing a habit can be done “cold turkey” like smoking and sometimes it works better to make a gradual change.

    Be sure to give yourself positive rewards often for taking small actions toward changing a bad habit. Continual day-by-day actions are what are critical. This is NOT about an occasional action or step. It is about being consistent every day.

    5. Perseverance: There will be times when you question whether it is all worth it. You’ll say to yourself that breaking these bad habits is too difficult; that you are too “weak” to change. Your old self, often so comfortable living with the bad habits, is trying to hold on. Breaking your old patterns may require meditation and prayer.

    Visualize regularly the rewards for following through and the costs of not following through on breaking the bad habits and especially the value to your future of building new better habits.

    Get support from others, especially other people who want to make changes in their lives and read about people who have been successful in breaking bad habits. Affirm that, no matter what, you will not backslide into your old bad habit patterns.

    Now, you are armed with a 5-step process for breaking any bad habit or other condition that requires changing. If you have an addiction to something such as alcohol, these steps alone may not be enough. You may require additional professional help or a support group, but for most cases this 5-step process will do the trick!

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    Source by T Mcdonald

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  • Emotionally Weak: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Be Emotionally Weak?

    Emotionally Weak: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Be Emotionally Weak?

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    It could be said that someone’s life would be a lot easier if they were unable to experience emotions. The primary reason for this is that they would no longer experience emotional pain.

    As a result of this, they would never feel sad, powerless, helpless, or hopeless, and fear and anxiety would no longer bother them either. This would allow them to lead a more centred life.

    The Downside

    Living in this way wouldn’t come without its problems, though, as one would most likely lead a life that lacks depth. They would live an empty existence, due to the part of themselves that provides meaning and a sense of wholeness being offline.

    Not only does this part of them provide meaning, it is also what allows them to feel connected to others and the planet. Therefore, while experiencing emotions will be hard for them at times, it would be far worse is they were not able to experience them.

    Hard To Accept

    However, although this is the case, it doesn’t mean that everyone will be able to accept this. If someone experiences a lot of emotional pain, for instance, they may believe that their life would be better if they could no longer feel.

    Yet, given what they often go through, it is not exactly going to be a surprise for them to have this outlook. Their life is not going to be very enjoyable; it could seem as if they are being punished.

    No Stability

    And even when they are not in a lot of emotional pain, they could wonder how long it will be until they are. Before long, something could take place that will completely change their inner world.

    This could take place after another person has said something negative about them or tried to walk over them. Something else that could cause them to come crashing down is a break up or an argument.

    All Over the Place

    It will be clear that it will be more or less impossible for one to handle how they feel. Instead of their emotional self being another part of their being, it will be a part of them that has the tendency to take over their whole being.

    If they were able to contain their feelings and they didn’t take over, their life would be very different. One wouldn’t be a small boat that is tossed around by every wave; they would be a big ship that has the ability handle most waves.

    One Approach

    If one was able to step back and came to the conclusion that they need to do something about their life, they might end up looking for a book to read. Conversely, they could look online for answers.

    What they may learn is that they to develop the ability to manage their thoughts, with this being the reason why their feelings are often out of control. Once they can do this, they will become emotionally strong.

    Support

    Being mindful of what thoughts they entertain, and what thoughts they think, will allow them to have different feelings. The positive feelings that they end up having can give them the strength that they need to feel strong and to achieve their goals.

    Said another way, ones emotional body will be working with their mind as opposed to against it. After putting these steps into practice for a little while, they may find that their life starts to change.

    An Unexpected Outcome

    Then again, one could find that focusing on what is taking place in their head doesn’t have much of an effect on them. Now, this could be a sign that they need to hang in there and to keep going until it works.

    At the same time, it could show that they need to try a completely different approach. There is the chance that one’s emotional body is carrying a lot of emotional pain and this is then why they find it hard to handle their emotions.

    A Missing Ability

    If they are carrying a lot of emotional pain, it could also show that they didn’t receive the type of care that they needed in order to develop the ability to regulate their own emotions. Perhaps their early years were a time when they were abused and/or neglected.

    What should have been a time when they were built up would have been a time when they were traumatised on a regular basis. This would have caused them to suffer as a child and it will still be causing them to suffer as an adult.

    A Totally Different Approach

    The emotional pain that has stayed trapped in their body will most likely need to be worked through. This can involve facing how they feel and feeling their feelings to their completion.

    To do this, one will most likely need to reach out for external support. The reason for this is that these feelings will be too much for them to handle and this will have stopped them from being able to consciously work through them.

    Awareness

    A therapist or a healer, for instance, can provide the presence that one needs so that they can go where they wouldn’t by themselves. This person will be like the scaffolding that is needed while a building is being strengthened.

    The main thing will be for them to reach out for assistance and to keep going no matter what. As for how long this process will take, how long is a piece of string?

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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