Tag: Ways

  • A Guide To Heal Sorrow & Loss

    A Guide To Heal Sorrow & Loss

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    After a terrible grief loss experience it is not uncommon to feel massive emotional pain and confusion! You might wish for your personal star-of-the east shining brightly to guide your healing path.

    Reset Again and Renew Your Healing Guide

    A rock-solid pathway to reconcile your grieving heart and emotions is a must-have, much-needed guide. Early on, in your grief experience you may not be aware that the grief healing guide you need is found within your own empowerment. After a grief happening in your life you can’t go back to exactly how you were. It is necessary for you to reset and renew your new life.

    “You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds… Claim and consciously use your power.” ~Louise L. Hay

    The ability to renew your efforts to find a from grief and loss is dependent upon how you consciously use your power. You do have the power in your mind.

    You Are Always Your Greatest Support Resource and Guide

    There are many beneficial support resources and helps available. All should be used as a source to guide your healing. However, it is very important to recognize that you are always your greatest support resource and guide. You live in a society of technology that is familiar with the need reset and renew. Reset your password, computer, iPhone, are all examples of resetting. Resetting and renewing your life after extreme sorrow is more challenging than a machine resetting bowling pins or resetting the timer to 10 minutes.

    Martin Luther King Jr. recognize the need to reset his suffering and underscored the need to transform his trials and suffering into a creative guide. So can you.

    “As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation — either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

    Changing the reading on your grief odometer so that you can begin renewing your life stop grieving and start healing depends on you. You are at the intersection of your life of happiness, peace and hope. You must be your own guide. You can overcome confusion and feelings of helpless and hopelessness. Claim and consciously use your power. Dig down deep there is strength within not yet discovered until this grief happening in your life.

    “And so I wait. I wait for time to heal the pain and raise me to me feet once again – so that I can start a new path, my own path, the one that will make me whole again.” ~Jack Canfield, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II

    Find Your Own Power to Guide and Heal Your Sorrow and Loss

    Begin seeking then embracing your grief healing guide. It must include a rock-solid pathway to reconcile your grieving heart and emotions. You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. Don’t think that you’re helpless, when you really aren’t. You always have the power of your mind. Make a list of the five most important actions you will take to seek and transform your suffering into a creative force. Then begin taking those five actions today. Finding life after grief and loss, conquering sorrow and finding hope after terrible heartache and much sorrow should be one of the actions you will take.

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    Source by Duane Marchant

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  • Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony

    Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony

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    The formula for marital harmony and success is not a mysterious secret. It’s actually very straightforward.

    The “behind the scenes” part is the constant work that’s required to keep the channels of love and communication clear from obstruction. Diligent spouses consistently spend time and energy addressing issues as they come up so that anger and hurt feelings don’t accumulate.

    Spouses who want satisfying marriages also look for ways to keep their love strong, such as remembering to show affection and appreciation frequently. They know that the more they feel connected and bonded, the more motivated they will be to resolve problems and hang in there when things are difficult.

    The following eight steps will guide you in looking at what you can do to increase your chances for creating a happy, harmonious marriage:

    1. Work on yourself and your own issues that you brought with you into the marriage.

    Many responses that you have to your spouse’s actions are triggered by past events going back to your childhood. If one of your emotional wounds is feeling disrespected, then when your partner inadvertently does something that triggers those feelings, you’ll experience an intense reaction. Individual counseling can help you to be more self-aware of what’s behind your intense reactions and what you can do so that you don’t over-react to issues in your marriage.

    2. Avoid blaming your partner for problems in the marriage.

    Blame only causes the other person to become defensive and angry, and it decreases the probability that the two of you can find a win-win solution to your problems. When you focus on blaming your spouse for what’s happening in the marriage, you are planting seeds of resentment that can hurt the relationship. A marriage is composed of two people, and each contributes to the quality of the relationship and shares responsibility for it.

    3. Be empathetic and put yourself in your partner’s place when issues come up.

    Really try to understand where your partner is coming from when you disagree or when your partner does something that you can’t make sense of. Ask your spouse to talk about his or her feelings. Listen respectfully and ask your spouse to clarify points that you don’t understand. Develop a curiosity for learning more about your spouse’s feelings and take special care to create an emotionally safe environment for the discussions with your spouse.

    4. Look for ways to make your partner’s life easier and to show your love.

    Many of the irritants and stressors in modern day life are the little things—the extra time it takes to pick up the cleaning on the way home from work or to put the clean dishes in the dishwasher away. When you see some errand or task that you can do to save your partner time, offer to do it.

    Look for opportunities to give your spouse a few minutes to relax or have downtime. Watch for things you can do to pamper your partner when you can. It’s often the little things that can make a big difference in marital happiness and satisfaction.

    5. Express appreciation often and say form the habit of saying “thank you.”

    As months and years go by, many spouses take each other for granted and neglect to express appreciation or say “thank you” to each other. Numerous spouses complain that their partners only focus on what they do wrong and never compliment them.

    It’s sad to think that the one person who means the most to you might have to wonder whether or not you appreciate them. Let your spouse know how much he or she means to you on a frequent basis. Give compliments and praise freely, and express thanks for all that your partner does to enrich your life and marriage.

    6. Apologize quickly and sincerely, taking responsibility for your part in whatever happens in the marriage.

    The truth is that sometimes it’s hard to say “I’m sorry.” That’s when it’s time to remember the question, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?”

    Accept that things don’t always make sense in a relationship and that confusion and misunderstandings can happen easily. It’s a mark of maturity when you can say, “I’m so sorry for my part in what has happened between us.”

    7. Have interests, hobbies and activities in your life that you enjoy so you’re not thrown off center so easily if you have a tiff or quarrel with your spouse.

    It’s important to have interests and activities of your own that are satisfying to you that can help to keep you balanced and anchored if other areas of your life are upsetting. That way, you can more easily regain a sense of perspective and be able to withstand the on-going stress.

    For example, if you and your spouse are encountering some rocks along the relationship path, you could go on a long bike ride, go fishing with a friend, visit a museum, or read an interesting book. Those activities and interests can add pleasure to your life to help balance out the temporary problems in your marriage. You’re always ahead of the game when you know some ways to lift your spirits.

    8. Look for fun activities and bonding experiences to share with your mate.

    Be on the lookout for activities that could be fun for you and your spouse to do together. Search the local newspaper for plays, concerts, new movies, museum exhibits, neighborhood fairs and festivals, and new restaurants that are advertised. Laughter and having fun is bonding and can help to create those “Kodak moments” that are so delightful.

    Also look for activities that represent causes you and your spouse believe in, such as spending a Saturday helping a local charity with a garage sale or volunteering together at a local soup kitchen. These experiences can serve to remind you of what you have in common with your spouse and of how good it feels to be working in unison with a shared purpose.

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    Source by Nancy Wasson

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  • The Psychotherapy for Drug Addicts

    The Psychotherapy for Drug Addicts

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    The field of research and psychoanalysis and the behavioral modification is considered one of the most important methods of treatment of drug addiction, in addition to the other two elements 1- the medical element, 2- social element, and it is known that there are multiple methods of The psychotherapy for various types of addiction.

    It is a basic principle in this field that the treatment that suits a patient and leads to the improvement of his condition may not be suitable for another patient suffering from the same illness, that means that the therapist can choose between several therapeutic alternatives to suit the patient, and it increases the chance of the treatment, more importantly, more treatment methods are being invented in the present time, which will raise more hopes for the foreseeable future. One of the most famous psychological treatments in this field is the group of behavioral treatments for addiction and it is considered among the main applications of modern psychological science in the field of the psychological disorders.

    It is based on the essentials that indicate that all forms of behavior (including drug abuse and addiction) of the individual are acquired and grow under certain living conditions (psychosocial and social) and thus ratified by the laws of the acquisition of the habits and its growth, all the differences must be taken into account in the categories of the different habits in terms of levels of support and installation available to them.

    Since the practices of the drugs abuse when taking over the abuser and it managed to lead to dependence or addiction, it means that it has reached the formation of the habits, meaning that the treatment (any attempt to get rid of the set of habits that serve the continuation of the drug abuse) will not be easy, However, it will not be impossible. It requires a high degree of cooperation between the addicts and the therapist with some remedial measures, in addition to perseverance to receive this procedure for a several months, followed by another period of follow-up and integrity.

    One of the method psychotherapy is Boudin HM `s method and it is based on three main elements:

    1. To train the addict to self-observation;

    2. To train the addict on self-assessment;

    3. Then programming behavior modification based on the data reached from the previous two items.

    Training on self-observation is considered one of the most important methods used in modern psychotherapy (ie, self-observation and monitoring). There are three functions under these treatments as follows:

    1. Monitoring specific types of behaviors of the individual related to the subject of the required treatment, before therapeutic intervention;

    2. Monitoring these types of behavior at intervals during and after the therapeutic intervention to assess the impact of this intervention.

    3. Sometimes it is used to facilitate the desired changes, and there are multiple ways to perform this self-observation and conduct the monitoring resulting in the methods taught by the therapist to the addict.

    The objective of training the addict on this self-observation is to achieve the capture and monitoring of the "functional patterns" that reveal his or her addictive behavior.

    The functional pattern in this case is the sequence that begins with the occurrence of an event or chain of events that will raise the motivation to use the drug, Then the act of abuse itself, and thereafter the feelings and behavioral events that support the behavior of the addict.

    In other words, the functional pattern is the set of behavioral precedents that precede the occurrence of the act of abuse, then the act of abuse itself, and then the act of the direct drug abuse.

    The therapist evaluates these patterns in terms of the appropriate ways of modifying or changing the behavior according to the case that he is handling, in order to choose these methods that he deems appropriate and avoids their masculinity. If the patient showed a relative improvement, and then to a new stage in which he teaches him how to evaluate his functional patterns, as he teaches him a ways of changing his behavior.

    One point remains to indicate that the therapist does not end up treating the case except by assessing the effect of the treatment on the basis of four important elements: the level of performance of the addict in his work, the level of his personal and social dealings and the number of times he may be involved during (and despite) the therapeutic program and, finally, the number of times it conflicted with the law throughout the treatment period.

    The implementation of this program takes a few months, and can be applied to the addicts who are held in sanatoriums, and can be applied on the basis of the outpatient clinic system, which is considered to be flexible and thus maximizing its benefits.

    It is worth noting that this therapeutic system has already experienced a number of heroin addicts who have been sentenced to obligatory treatment, and their results have been highly efficient. However, there are many other behavioral treatments, and some therapists prefer to do some of these treatments combined with CBMTS at the same time. The field here allows for many scientific differences that ultimately aim at more efficient treatment service.

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    Source by Mohamed Al Marzooqi

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  • Pompeii by Marry Beard

    Pompeii by Marry Beard

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    Marry Beard’s Pompeii succeeds in several quite different and sometimes surprising ways. This is a guidebook, a history, a survey of social relations, a description of culture and religion, a catalogue and analysis of art, and an archaeological record. It is also an excellent read, highly informative, enlighteningly descriptive and scrupulously accurate.

    Pompeii is a complicated site. At first glance, it may appear to be very simple. One day in 79 AD a coastal town in modern-day Campania, near Naples, which was then at the heart of a Greco-Roman culture, was buried under volcanic ash that spread from the eruption of the nearby Mount Vesuvius. The town was completely destroyed, smothered under metres of ash. The disaster progressed quickly giving the town’s inhabitants little chance of escape, let alone a chance to gather their possessions. This naive description might thus suggest that all archaeologists need to do is uncover what the ash buried, and first century life in a Roman town will be revealed.

    The reality, however, is somewhat different. The volcano did erupt and did bring about the end of Pompeii. But the town had previously in AD 62 suffered an earthquake, which had damaged many buildings, some of which was still not repaired in AD79. And Pompeii has been excavated many times. Some digs a couple of centuries ago extracted treasures for the titillation of monarchs, before volcanic ash, original construction materials and much of the historical and other material was randomly piled back to fill the holes. On the other hand, some areas have never been excavated and others still wait to be uncovered, but possibly not for the first time. Much work in previous centuries was undocumented, so who would know? Only the finds, and only some of those, were lodged in museums, and the provenance of many of those remains unclear.

    Such a complicated history presents tremendous difficulties for modern archaeologists. There are many layers of possible interpretation, many potential complications. A great strength of Mary Beard’s book is that she always acknowledges these difficulties and, where simplistic, convenient or fashionable positions might create more attractive copy, consistently she is cautious with her assertions and considered in her conclusions. Refreshingly, where evidence is lacking, contradictory or merely open to interpretation, she usually leaves the matter open, thus allowing the reader to appreciate how hard it is to be definitive about the unknown.

    Descriptions of everyday life in the first century AD are in many ways reassuringly familiar, with one significant exception. The modern reader may be rather shocked by how much daily life seems seemed to revolve around sex. But Mary beard does point out several times that this may be an overstatement. One is tempted to imagine how a modern town might be seen, if, once buried and uncovered, all that could be identified were advertising hoardings along a street where the only shop not to be obliterated sold sex toys. Our contemporary lack of knowledge about Pompeii’s inhabitants is illustrated by our inability to decide what might have been stored in the terracotta jars that were built into many of the town’s shop fronts. Mary Beard points out that theories they might have contained wine or oil are undermined by the simple fact that terracotta is porous, so it is more likely they contained dry goods. In one shop, a jar may have been a till, because it was found to contain a stash of small coins. But who knows whether the shop’s owner, frightened by a sudden eruption, merely tipped a box of small coins into the jar in a vain attempt to fill the box with more valuable possessions that might be carried?

    The area of life that was clearly different in first century AD was that of religion and beliefs. There seemed to be a market in gods, as well as one in goods, and most buildings seem to have paintings or altars dedicated to a panoply of deities, drawn from several different traditions. Whether people did pick and choose, or whether people’s origins or ethnicity dictated allegiance, we simply do not know.

    Pompeii clearly did have its own version of mass entertainment, both in theatre and amphitheatre. There was even a famous riot after a disputed contest, where supporters from a nearby town fought with locals. It made regional news. There was also a local language that was not Latin, but we have precious little of its literature.

    A concept such a slavery, which in the modern mind is inextricably linked with the trade of recent colonial powers, is yet another aspect of ancient Roman life that is more complicated than contemporary assumptions allow. Mary Beard regularly refers to the complexity of these relationships throughout the text and long before then end we feel we really have learned something about a culture that quite suddenly feels much more distant than a mere couple of millennia.

    Mary Beard’s Pompeii is a brilliant book that is worth reading in itself. But anyone who has visited or plans to visit the site will find it brings the experience or memory completely to life. It is a comprehensive description of the site and its culture, but makes clear that there are still stones to be turned. Unusually, however, readers who previously might have thought they were well-informed on the history, culture and archaeology of Pompei might just find, after reading this book, that they knew rather less than they thought.

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    Source by Philip Spires

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  • Habits – The Big Secret to Marketing Success

    Habits – The Big Secret to Marketing Success

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    What do you think you need more than anything else to attract more of your ideal clients?

    Many people will say, "better information to show me how to do what works."

    Others will say, "more motivation and drive to implement what I already know."

    Another common answer is , "more time to fit marketing activities into my schedule."

    And lots of people will say, "I need better goals and more clarity about what I want to achieve."

    In writing this ezine / blog for the past 20 years I've talked about the importance of all of those.

    But I'm finally understanding a factor that is much more important: good habits.

    Over the past year, I've been a big advocate of the writings of James Clear. He writes a blog about success and habits. And he just came out with his first book, Atomic Habits, which is fantastic.

    Even though James isn't a marketing expert, I'm convinced he's right when he says that the ultimate determinant of success is building positive habits.

    This idea is simple but true: Self-employed professionals who establish regular marketing habits have a much better chance of succeeding than those who don't.

    And the crazy thing is that the four items – information, motivation, time, and goals – I mentioned above don't actually make a huge difference.

    Information. These days, we have access to more information about marketing than ever before in history. And much of it is free and instantly available through a Google or YouTube search.

    The problem is that most of us have not established a regular habit of studying what we need to know to become better marketers. The information is useless unless we become proficient at implementing it.

    And even if we pay good money for courses and programs, much of it goes to waste. I just learned recently online that 97% of people who buy a course online never complete it.

    Motivation. If we measured motivation by intention, we are all motivated. Don't we all want and need to grow our businesses? But we keep getting distracted and don't follow through on our intentions. Again, the issue is poor habits.

    Time. If only we had more of it. But unsuccessful marketers have just as much of it as the most successful ones. The key is that they dedicate more time to implementing regular marketing habits.

    Goals. Nothing wrong with goals except that they are only a starting point for success. And they can get us stuck in the future, instead of doing what needs to be done today – the routine marketing habits that we perform every day or week.

    "A habit or system beats a goal every time." – James Clear

    The research is in and the conclusion is clear.

    Establishing positive and consistent marketing habits have a bigger impact on marketing success than anything else.

    We may have great information, high motivation, lots of time, and clear goals, but unless marketing activities are performed regularly and habitually, the chances of success are slim to none.

    The question you should be asking is, "How do I start establishing better marketing habits?"

    James's Atomic Habits goes to great lengths to share a multitude of ways to become an expert habit practitioner. So I highly suggest you get his book. It could be the most valuable 'marketing' book you'll ever read.

    But let me also give you my perspective on what it takes to establish new marketing habits.

    The C – SPAT Model

    This is a model I came up with for one of my marketing programs.

    Coaching or Context. A coach declares the game, how it is played and how to win at it. And this creates the context in which you play the game. It helps if you have an outside source that can hold you accountable to play by the rules necessary to succeed.

    This principle is why when you're working with a coach or in a program that you suddenly find it's easier to take action and form positive habits. The context of the game helps shape your behaviors.

    Notice that all professionals such as doctors, lawyers, and accountants go through rigorous training in the form of a professional school and internship. And in this context, professional habits and protocols are established.

    As independent professionals, we'd all prefer to do things on our own, charting our own direction. That's nice, except that it doesn't always work very well, does it?

    Study. A big part of the game is study and learning the body of knowledge necessary to perform effectively. Again, the information required to be an effective marketer is readily available, but you need some assistance in sorting the wheat from the chaff and studying what is most useful.

    Planning. All successful marketing needs a plan. The alternative is implementing random marketing activities with little structure and direction. So it's not how much you know, but how you put what you know into action.

    Action. Success doesn't come from being busy or doing a lot of things, but in doing the right things at the right time. This is where establishing regular marketing habits comes in.

    To some, it might be writing an article once or twice a week. For others, it may mean setting up more meetings with networking contacts. Or it could be booking regular speaking engagements.

    The secret to making this work is to leverage the first three steps of the model – Coaching, Study, and Planning, into marketing Actions that you perform as consistently as possible.

    Tracking. What gets measured gets done. And when we fail to measure, habits don't tend to stick. When we measure and track habits, the chances increase dramatically that they are performed consistently.

    It can take some time to establish positive habits. You know that's happened when you don't even have to think about it anymore; you just sit down and write that article every Monday or make five calls to prospects every week.

    And when you're in action like this, you create a feedback loop, learning what works the best and what doesn't. This enables you to fine-tune and adjust over time until your marketing habits become more established.

    So, stop putting so much attention on searching for the "perfect" marketing strategy, getting motivated, finding more time, and setting goals.

    Instead, use the C – SPAT approach to establishing positive marketing habits.

    Cheers, Robert

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    Source by Robert Middleton

    Views: 0

  • An Insight Into Multi-Level Marketing/Network Marketing Techniques

    An Insight Into Multi-Level Marketing/Network Marketing Techniques

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    You have reached the perfect place to discover how to be successful with Network Marketing or Multilevel marketing. Most people who embark on a new challenge struggle at first but for the Network Marketing beginner, he’s not an exception. It might seem complicated and sometimes a fearful path to pursue, nevertheless take advantage of the following Network Marketing strategies and run with it.

    Success Tip 1: Manage “YOU” and “YOUR” Expectations.

    You are answerable for the success or failure of your own unique network marketing business! This is usually a huge one, simply because the overwhelming majority of completely new as well as skilled network marketers pin the blame on absolutely everyone but themselves with regard to things that fail. But in fact, whatever happens to you, in business and also in your personal life is a direct result of choices you made.. You, and you alone are accountable for your business.

    Manage your expectations and be accountable to yourself!

    Success Tip 2: Set Goals.

    We understand you need to generate income in your network marketing business, but HOW do you plan to generate such income?? It’s essential to set desired goals that may be Short, Medium or Long Term. Set S.M.A.R.T. goals for that HOW. Your S.M.A.R.T.goals ought to be

    • S-pecific

    • M-easurable

    • A-chievable

    • R-ealistic

    • T-imely.

    Evaluate these goals regularly and as soon as you meet them, raise the bar.

    Success Tip 3: Keep Learning!

    Cultivate your mind by getting informed through quality publications, CDs, network marketing business video tutorials in the first couple of months right after starting a new network marketing business. This might look like a time waster to many beginners since they’re thrilled to generate income immediately and it must be right now! It often doesn’t work like that.

    When l began my network marketing business, I put away a specific percentage of my earnings to get resources regarding how to take my business one stage further. I learnt a whole lot (and still learning) on how to offer value to my clients. These are individuals who bring the cash. Begin to see the link?

    Success Tip 4: Efficient Use of Your Time And Effort.

    Be extremely organized particularly if you intend to continue working while starting your business. You’ll want to become a personal time management pro to offer your best to each side. Remember that you might want to allocate more time to your start-up business since your start-up business is similar to a newborn – it requires nurturing, focus, care and time.

    Create time daily to work on your new business. Make use of the audio system in your car by listening to CDs or tapes if you are driving. Get a good mp3 player and plug-in some great informative content while taking a stroll or you’re at lunch or cleaning the house. The more effective time spent on your business, the quicker you’ll make it grow.

    Success Tip 5: Be patient!

    The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with one step. And you have started your journey. On this journey you’ll need loads of patience. In business the truth is most start-ups consider it a huge success if they can make money soon after they start business.. So, what makes you believe the income will begin rolling in after a few days, or even months? Building a solid business needs time, effort, and lots of patience.

    Likewise note that you need to be prepared for the rough patches because there will be loads! When those times come, it’s not the time to pull the plug but time to remember that success is a process. Every positive step you take brings you closer to your goals. Therefore keep doing the “right” things, persevere and be patient!

    Success Tip 6: Expect to get out of your comfort zone.

    When a baby starts to learn to walk, he or she finds it uncomfortable at first but as soon as he gains self-confidence and steps out of the world of crawling, he or she makes his / her first step and others follow afterwards. It’s similar in the business world. You’ll be learning new and different ways of expressing yourself. You will need to meet, talk and connect with people.

    No one ever made it big in network marketing by hiding behind their computer screen. You may very well feel uncomfortable trying new things that you may or may not be good at. The important thing there is TRY. Try new things.

    Learn from your mistakes and celebrate success when it happens and it will happen; because you have earned it!

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    Source by Nkem Bamgbose

    Views: 0

  • Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

    Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

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    If one was single and they were to meet someone who showed a lot of interest in them, they could find that they end up being drawn to them. And what might also play a part here is that one may be physically attracted to them.

    Through being in this person’s presence, one could start to experience a lot of positive feelings. In a way, it could be as if this person is a breath of fresh air; with them being someone who has come into their life to make it better.

    A Fast Build Up

    After the first encounter, it might not be long until the other person is acting in a ways or talking about things that wouldn’t usually take place or be mentioned for quite some time. It will be clear that the other person doesn’t want to take their time and to allow everything to develop organically.

    It will be like starting in first gear and going straight into the last gear; instead of starting in first and gradually moving through each gear. At this point, one could have put their thinking brain to one side and be completely caught up in what is going on.

    For Example

    So after one has had their first encounter with this person, their phone could constantly go off. This can be a time when this person will message and call them, telling them how much they like them, how special they are and the type of things that they want to do with them, for instance.

    This person could also say that they should move in together and go into what their future will be like. Additionally, one may find that this person sends them gifts while they are at work and they could come across love notes and letters from them.

    The Next Stage

    After they have seen each other a few times or only known each other for a matter of weeks, the other person could ask them if they are now in a relationship. They could even go one step further than this by talking about how much they love them.

    And if they do end up moving in together after such a short period of time, one could spend even less time with others. In fact, ones whole life could end up revolving around their partner – someone they have only just met.

    On Top Of the World

    At this point one could feel as though they are on cloud nine, with them basking in positive feelings and the loving behaviour of their partner. Nonetheless, it might not be long until their partner starts to change.

    Now that this person has pulled one in, they could end up trying to control how they live their life. If one doesn’t do what they want, they might find that their partner leaves or that it is not possible to get hold of them.

    Hot and Cold

    This person will have done everything that they could to warm them up in the beginning and, how that they have them in the palm of their hands, so to speak, they will take advantage of them. Due to their fear of losing their partner and being rejected and/or abandoned, one can have the need to do whatever their partner wants them to do.

    If this means no longer seeing their friends and family, putting their interests to one side and/or neglecting their own health, for instance, they will do it to try to regain their ‘love’. Ultimately, one will have become hooked on their partner’s attention or the dopamine that they trigger inside them, which is why they won’t feel good when their attention is no longer there.

    Drawing the Line

    One could then do what their partner wants and before long, they could pull away again. They might turn up in a few days or it could be a number of months before they reappear.

    Clearly, having this person in their life is not doing them any good, and the sooner they cut their ties with them the better. There are a number of things that they can do to gradually get back on their feet and to regain their energy.

    A Few Steps

    Firstly, it will be a good idea for one to no longer speak to this person in person, over a screen, or over the phone. If this person won’t accept this, one may need to get in touch with the police.

    Secondly, it will be good for them to get back in touch with family and friends, so that they can go over what took place and gain their support. Thirdly, taking time to do what they enjoy will make it easier for them to take their mind of this person, and, fourthly, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.

    Stepping Back

    It could be said that just about anyone could be love bombed, yet there are going to be things that will make one more susceptible to this type of behaviour. And if one has gone through this experience on more than one occasion, it is likely to show they need to take a deeper look into why this keeps taking place.

    However, this is not about one blaming or shaming themselves for what has taken place; it is simply about them taking a step back and looking into what they might need to do to prevent this from taking place again. This is about awareness as if one can see that there is a reason why this keeps taking place; they can do something about it.

    A Closer Look

    If they were to do this, what might become clear is that they don’t feel good about themselves. Therefore, as soon as someone comes along and gives them so much positive feedback, they drink it all up.

    Said another way, they are in a position where they desperately want someone to love them. Consciously or unconsciously, a love bomber realises this and ends up exploiting their weakness.

    An Easy Target

    If one did value themselves, they wouldn’t need as much from another person, and this would enable them to be more discerning when it comes to who they allow into their life. And as opposed to feeling good when another person comes on strong right at the start, they might end up feeling as though something isn’t right.

    They might realise that as this person knows very little about them, it probably shows that they are trying to manipulate them. The love that they have for themselves will also allow them to have strong boundaries.

    Additional Points

    Furthermore, through valuing who they are, they would most likely have a number of close friends who they can share their life with. These people would then be there to give them feedback and to support them.

    Another part of this is that one would also do things that they enjoy and this would strengthen them and fill their life with meaning. They would value themselves enough not to neglect themselves.

    The Reason

    If one was to find that they don’t value themselves, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time in their life when they were abused and/or neglected.

    Thanks to how they were treated, they would have come to believe that they were worthless and they may carry the pain of being rejected and abandoned. Being treated badly is then going to be something that feels comfortable at a deeper level.

    Awareness

    If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace their inherent value, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

    ​

    There will be the negative beliefs that that they need to question and replace, and there will be the emotional wounds that they need to heal. The main thing is that one does what they need to do and doesn’t give up on themselves.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

    Views: 0

  • Money – And How to Make More of It

    Money – And How to Make More of It

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    I don't know many independent professionals who wouldn't like to make more money.

    It seems so simple. Ultimately there are only four ways to make more money in your business:

    1. Get more new clients or customers

    2. Raise your rates or fees

    3. Sell ​​more services to each client

    4. Get more repeat business from existing clients.

    Yes, but how do you actually accomplish those three things?

    For the next several weeks, I'm going to write a series of articles on how to make more money in your business.

    And I'm going to do my best to give you practical, actionable ideas that work. I know they work because I've3 used them and so have many of my clients over the years.

    But before I start, there's an important things to understand about money.

    Money. Is. An. Emotional. Issue.

    Money isn't dollar bills in our pocket or numbers in our bank account.

    No, in our minds, money is about our self worth, about how we compare ourselves to others, about how we feel about ourselves, about our success, and ultimately about our survival.

    I have a favorite story about money that makes this very clear.

    A few years ago, I worked with a husband and wife team who were executive coaches.

    Because of our work together, they started to attract more clients on a consistent basis.

    However, like many independent professionals, they were undercharging for their professional services.

    But when I suggested they raise their fees, they became very uncomfortable.

    And when I dug in, I discovered why.

    It turns out that both had been raised in relatively poor families and they continually got the message that "rich people are dishonest."

    Because they believed that to be true, of course they didn't want to raise their fees. That would make them, in their minds, dishonest.

    And, if they felt they were dishonest, that would be a moral failure. That wouldn't feel good. It actually felt better to make less money!

    After we explored this belief in depth, they realized that it was both emotional and illogical. It clearly wasn't true that all rich people were dishonest.

    Their belief started to transform to: "We offer an honest service that makes a difference to our clients and it's OK to charge what that service is really worth."

    This new belief felt a lot better than the old one.

    And realizing this, they finally clearly saw that the fees they then charged were virtually nothing compared to the value their clients received.

    And before too long they had doubled their fees with almost no pushback from their clients.

    And no angst on their part.

    So, the very first thing to examine if you are not making the money you want, are your beliefs about money.

    Sounds simple, but it's trickier than it seems.

    Why? Because we believe what we believe to protect us from any kind of harm – even if this harm is imaginary.

    My clients believed they'd become dishonest if they raised their fees. So, in their minds, not raising their fees prevented that from happening.

    What shifted this belief was clearly seeing that it was essentially nonsense. They could raise their fees and still be honest people.

    With this powerful insight, their belief was forever changed.

    And now, as a business owner, I challenge you to question your beliefs about money. First, identify the ones that are holding you back.

    Here are a few very popular ones:

    Money is scarce

    My clients can't pay higher fees

    People will think I'm greedy

    More money will lead to problems

    It feels wrong to make money doing what I love

    Money will corrupt me

    Being wealthy will make me arrogant

    I don't deserve a lot of money

    Money leads to bad things

    More money just means more taxes

    Wanting more money is selfish and shallow

    List yours here: ______________________

    I don't know which of these beliefs is running you, but if you aren't making the money you want it's almost certain that one or more of these beliefs is holding you back.

    What are the fears behind the beliefs?

    Honestly ask if those beliefs are true and if they are serving you or limiting you.

    Then ask how things might change without those beliefs.

    You just might find that it's not so hard to raise your fees after all.

    So, the first thing you must do to earn more money is to question your beliefs about money. Unless you do that, you're unlikely to take the practical steps that will help you earn more money.

    Do this honest questioning about your money beliefs and you'll be ready to learn a number of step-by-step approaches to earning more money that I'll cover in the following weeks.

    Cheers, Robert

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    Source by Robert Middleton

    Views: 0

  • Secrets to A Winning Mindset

    Secrets to A Winning Mindset

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    To succeed in life requires a lot of courage because there is almost

    nothing in this world that is 100% risk-free. Winning or losing comes

    from the mind that is why a winning mindset is crucial to achieving

    set goals irrespective of the difficulties or challenges encountered.

    No matter how small your goals are or how lofty your dreams may be,

    you cannot achieve much without a winning mindset, which is the force

    that generates the power and enthusiasm that drives you.

    When you see successful people, they not only have a winning attitude

    but also possess the winning mindset. Giving up is not among the

    traits of winners and following through to the end is never the habit

    of losers. To get to the pinnacle of success, you must have a winning

    mindset that results from positive thinking and perspective to issues.

    Tips to Having a Winning Mindset

    Do you see successful people and wish to follow in their footsteps?

    Are you searching for ways to develop a positive mindset? Do you want

    to nurture your mind with the winning attitude? Here are the tips to

    help you have a winning mindset.

    1. Have an It-Is-Possible Belief

    There is a great connection between what you believe and the result

    you get from your efforts. The best way to start creating a winning

    mindset is to have a positive belief and be addicted to that thought.

    By having an ‘it-is-possible’ mindset, you are setting your mind above

    all limitations and obstacles on the path to achieving your goals.

    When this thought gets into your subconscious mind, it will become

    effortless to see possibility in having things go your way.

    2. Set Goals and Have a Detailed Plan

    Remember that every success has an equal chance of failure. As a

    result, do not attempt anything without setting a goal and creating a

    detailed plan to achieve your goal. Identify factors that could cause

    your failure and plug every necessary hole and take advantage of the

    factors that can drive your goals to success. Be meticulous in planning.

    3. Spare No Efforts / Never Think About Quitting

    To have a winning mindset, be ready to go all out and leave no stone

    unturned. Do not spare any efforts and you must be prepared to see

    your goals achieved regardless of how long you need to labor or how

    much pain you must endure. You must not think of quitting – it is the

    habit of losers.

    4. Declare Your Anticipated Result to Yourself

    There is a strong force behind positive confession. Make a declaration

    (speak out) of the result you are expecting to yourself every time.

    Let this positive thought fill your head then get into your heart; let

    it take over your mind and finally get into your subconscious mind.

    Doing this will embolden you with positive energies and a winning

    mindset that will push you beyond your limit to achieve your dream or

    set goals.

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    Source by Carl Mathis

    Views: 0

  • The Clearest Sign of Mental Health

    The Clearest Sign of Mental Health

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    Am I mentally ill, could be the question? Every healthy person learns to ask such a question, as is the paradox that is health and ill-health.

    Now, let’s be crystal clear about what this paradox is about. Let me use myself as an example. The times I have been most unhealthy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I have lacked something very important – something critical for health. I lacked the capacity to see that I wasn’t healthy, and perhaps others knew it. I’m sure they did. I may have suspected something was wrong, but I would not at that time be able to pinpoint it. Eventually I might, and when I did, I would be on the cusp of recovery.

    What is the clearest sign of mental health?

    Insight.

    It’s like being in mental health inpatient facility. The main indicator psychiatrists are looking for. Can the person perceive reality? Are they delusional? Is there grandeur? Of course, the purpose for admitting people to these hospitals is to give them time and treatment to come back to reality – to receive insight.

    It’s a scary individual that does not have insight. Yet, the narcissist is one who seems fine – until you get close to them – but has a major lack of insight. They cannot see a single fault within themselves. And they may only ultimately agree they have something to change when they see there is some advantage coming to them for appearing humble.

    Now, this is dangerous; to see yourself as unequivocally superior to others is bad for everyone. You cannot be corrected when you need to be, and others are not acknowledged for the goodness and attributes they have.

    The person who has insight, however, sees the faults inside themselves, and they have copious humility to be able to see the wrong, the error, the mistakes they make; that we all make from time to time. They’re not fearful of exposure because they see what is wrong and they see that it is straightforward to attend to it and fix it.

    There’s the paradox in all its glory: the one who thinks they’re perfect is unimaginably dangerously imperfect, because they cannot see their fault, yet the one who sees their imperfections might as well be perfect, for human intents and purposes.

    If you want to know if you’re healthy, do you have the capacity for honesty?

    Can you see what you need to be able to see? Not just for yourself, but for others, too.

    Now, we can see that there are maladies of anxiety and depression that express themselves in many ways, but do not manifest in a lack of honesty. Comparatively, mental health is less of an issue, even if there is a lot of pain the person must wrestle with. This is not to say that their mental ill-health is any less important. Indeed, many times people can suffer mental ill-health because someone close to them has had narcissistic impact on them.

    People who suffer depression and anxiety can often still have good relationships. Even with comparative mental ill-health they may often operate in such a way that others are benefactors relationally. They may often find ways of loving well despite what they suffer, which is an incredibly inspiring reality.

    We see here that good mental health is not just about the struggles we have living our lives; it’s also how we treat other people. A mental health that impacts negatively on other people is of grave concern, because of how people can be damaged. Of course, there is, on the other hand, also the matter of how suicide damages those left behind. That can never be understated.

    Or, perhaps we can see it this way: the person who may have no pain but has troubled relationships, and indeed may appear to be happy, even powerful, may be more mentally ill than the person who endures much pain but who serves and loves others to the end of good relationships.

    The person who consistently puts others first has better mental health ultimately than the person who has no interest in or capacity for others.

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    Source by Steve Wickham

    Views: 0