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  • Valentines Are Healing In So Many Ways

    Valentines Are Healing In So Many Ways

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    As a child it was loads of fun to make Valentines for each member of my class. Valentines are healing in so many ways. I felt the good feeling of making something for someone else.

    Looking back on the time, I realize now, Mom was probably just finding projects to keep me and my three sisters busy for a couple of afternoons. We cut and pasted, trimmed and folded. I loved the color pink, so it didn't surprise anyone when all my valentines had more pink on them and that I kinda 'dominated the pink crayon out of the set of crayons us sisters shared.

    Mom was careful to have us take a break with hot chocolate and marshmallows out on the porch so we didn't muss up our Valentines and, so we wouldn't get too weary before our mission was accomplished. It was an exciting time of the school year.

    Being the youngest of the four, Mom helped my valentines "just a little" so they would be presentable. We lived on a simple budget, so the one package of store bought Valentines purchased had to be shared out between us. Also bought was a box of Valentine candies and we carefully put one candy in each Valentine. I had four store Valentines and twenty-two homemade Valentines when I set out for school the morning of Valentine's Day.

    Of course, my teacher would get a store bought Valentine and I had made the biggest homemade one for her too. Then there was my two best friends, Elaine and Joanna. I had made them a homemade Valentine plus a store Valentine. I had one store Valentine left and I couldn't think of one more person to give it to. It was so special.

    My teacher had set aside the afternoon for exchanging Valentines. It was difficult for us all to think of school work when so much was going to happen that day. All morning I looked around the room to see someone who would get my last special store Valentine. I talked it over with my two friends and they made suggestions too, but the ones they suggested were more their friends and I was a "tag-along."

    Then exchange time came and the energy level of the classroom escalated to a high roar. Notes flying around the room and everyone smiling. I got twenty-four Valentines. Most my Valentines had a candy in them too, so I thought I had a pretty good trade around. Valentines are healing in so many ways and I knew I had many friends.

    Through all the excitement, I clear forgot about my last special store Valentine. As I walked from the bus to home, I remembered it. As I rounded the last corner, there was Daddy's car parked in the driveway. The love swelled inside me and I had such a good idea. I ran into the house, got the crayons and paper out.

    I made one more Valentine. A big one with lots of pink on it because I knew Mom liked pink too. That was probably where I got the idea to have it be my color. I wrote "I Love You" on the back of both Valentines. Then I gave the one store Valentine to Daddy and the homemade Valentine to Mom.

    They were so surprised and Daddy grabbed me up into his arms and told me he never had such a sweet little "Milly" in his life. I knew I was special. It was the first dawning on my little heart that I was born to my "Best Friends."

    Now I am older, I still remember the good times we had around Valentine's Day. My friends from first grade I have lost track of, but the memories of the love I felt from my parents will last forever. Valentines are healing in so many ways. Valentine's Day is one more opportunity to heal a heart by saying the three words, "I Love You."

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    Source by Milly Barlow

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  • Love Is Not

    Love Is Not

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    Valentine’s week is focused on multiple ways of showing others that one cares for or is in love with them. Hearts, flowers, candy and trinkets are given as symbols of devotion but not all are done with the right motives or with healthy commitment.

    We all think that we know what love is but then act in ways that do not match our words. Here are some of things to consider:

    Love is not:

    1. Giving someone everything that they want because by doing so you believe they will change for good. Frequently clients have told me that they felt giving money to wayward teens would encourage them to come home. Not! People usually do what they want and cannot be bribed or coerced into doing what others want.
    2. Ignoring issues and crossing fingers that they will resolve themselves. Not talking means not dealing with things and past behaviors are usually a predictor of future behaviours. Wishing and hoping isn’t the same as resolving.
    3. Accepting abusive behaviors. We teach people how to treat us. If you have been abused and you accept a hurried insincere apology you will likely become caught in a cycle of abuse followed by apology followed by abuse.
    4. Time served. Just because you have been in relationship with someone for a period of time doesn’t mean that you are healthy, safe or secure.
    5. Keeping secrets. The underlying foundation of trouble is built with dishonesty and hidden actions. If you need to keep something secret that means that deep down you already know that you are up to “no good”.
    6. Blaming others rather than facing your own failings. Most people do not want to look in a mirror that shows their own flaws. Instead they point the finger and distract the conversation by focusing on another person.
    7. Demanding information about private matters. When adult children want to know details about the will of their aging parents, they can present as entitled and inappropriate. An attitude of “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine too” can destroy relationships!
    8. Vengeance for past hurts or failures. Hurting others is not a good response for those who have been hurt. Focus on healing instead of on trying to get even.
    9. Enabling. There is a show on television that shows individuals who weigh over 600 pounds. Those who purchase the food for the one who becomes immobile or bed-ridden end up having to care for the obese person. When you enable someone, both of you pay a price for this.
    10. Playing games with emotions. Sweet talk, false promises and cheating can be very hurtful. Stop it!

    When it comes to being a Valentine it is important not just to think about the other person. Instead examine when and how you show your love. Are your words and actions healthy or are you in an acting role that considers only your own selfish needs and wants?

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    Source by Linda Hancock

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  • Celebrating Valentine’s Day Apart

    There are a number of reasons why a couple may find themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart. Couples who are in a long distance relationship, business trips, shifts which prevent couples from being together, sickness and family emergencies are just a few examples of reasons why a couple may find themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart. While you may certainly understand the reasons why you and your loved ones cannot be together on Valentine’s Day it does not make it any easy to deal with this situation. You may still feel sad and lonely if you find yourself in one of these situations. However, there is home for those who are spending Valentine’s Day apart from their loved ones, there are a few ways for making the day a lot more fun. This article will provide information on ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day apart in a number of different scenarios.

    First we will consider the case of a couple who is in a long distance relationship. For this couple, they may be used to spending important days such as Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and other holidays apart so it may not be as difficult for them to deal with. However, there are ways this couple can still celebrate Valentine’s Day together. One way to do this is to both rent the same movie and watch it while on the phone together. This may run up your phone bill but if you have unlimited evening minutes you and your partner can chat away on your cell phones while you watch the movie together. You might even consider both ordering the same type of food such as pizza or Chinese food so you will feel even more together for a little while.

    Next we will consider a couple who finds themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart do to an unexpected business trip. This can be particularly difficult because the couple is not used to being apart on important days and likely did not have a great deal of time to prepare for spending the holiday apart. In this situation the couple should discuss Valentine’s Day as soon as they realize they are going to be spending the holiday apart. While discussing it they can decide whether they want to celebrate before they separate or after they are reunited. It is also important for the couple to try to at least have some contact on Valentine’s Day even if it is over the phone or through email. This will allow the couple to feel like they are together in some way so they don’t get too lonely. Having flowers delivered to your loved one while you are separated is also a very thoughtful gesture.

    Finally, we will consider the case of a couple who cannot spend Valentine’s Day together because one or both of them does work which involves odd shifts. This could include doctors, firefighters, police officers or a variety of other professions. Individuals in this type of situation are probably used to their odd schedule and making time to be together outside of working hours. In this case the best way to deal with being apart on Valentine’s Day is to plan on celebrating together when it is more convenient. This may not seem like the most romantic option but sometimes it is important to remember that you love your partner every day of the year and you don’t have to be together on Valentine’s Day to prove your love for each other.

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  • Celebrating Valentine’s Day a Day Late

    There are many couples who enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day but are often annoyed or stressed out when they try to celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14th. This is because one of the most popular ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day is by going out to dinner. This can lead to overcrowding and long waits to be seated. Some restaurants do not take reservations and even the ones that do often have difficulty honoring these reservations when there are huge crowds on Valentine’s Day. As a result there are many couples who opt to celebrate Valentine’s Day by going out to dinner a day or two late or even a day or two early. There is nothing wrong with this and it can often result in a much more relaxing Valentine’s Day celebration simply because it is taking place on the 13th or the 15th of February instead of the 14th. This article will provide some information on celebrating Valentine’s Day a day late.

    If you are planning to take your partner out to dinner to celebrate Valentine’s Day but are having trouble making reservations you might consider making your reservations for the day after Valentine’s Day or for the first weekend after Valentine’s Day. This will give you many additional options and will help to make your planning easier. However, if this is what you are planning you should probably also consult your partner to make sure celebrating a day late or even a few days late will not be disappointing to your partner. This is an important factor to consider because there are many who are very adamant about going out to celebrate on Valentine’s Day and may be extremely disappointed if plans are made for a day late.

    If your partner will be extremely disappointed about celebrating Valentine’s Day, it might be a good idea to alter the plans rather than delaying them. For example if you want to avoid having to wait more than an hour for a table at a fancy restaurant, try cooking a great meal for your partner instead. You will still be celebrating in a really fun way but you won’t have the stress of dealing with a crowded restaurant.

    Sometimes it is not merely a matter of convenience which makes it necessary to celebrate Valentine’s Day a day or two late. You or your partner may have an unusual work schedule which would make getting together on Valentine’s Day extremely difficult. For example doctors often work a few long shifts per week which can interfere with Valentine’s Day plans. If you or your partner is in this type of situation it is best to discuss Valentine’s Day ahead of time and figure out what will work best for the two of you. You might decide it would be a good idea to celebrate few days late or you may even agree to just exchange cards for Valentine’s Day. Whatever you decide you should make sure it is a decision which makes you both happy.

    Finally, if you and your partner are planning to celebrate Valentine’s Day a day or two late it is important to remember that you should still treat your celebration with all of the excitement and enthusiasm as you would if you were celebrating on the 14th of February. For example if you would buy a new dress, get your nails done or get your hair done for Valentine’s Day you should still go ahead and do these things even if you are celebrating Valentine’s Day late. It will help to make the celebration feel more fun and exciting.

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  • Will You Marry Me? Four Simple Little Words, That Mean So Much

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    Since my social gathering, thoughts took me back my own marriage proposal, some 16 years ago. I had imagined how it might unfold; we had talked about marriage and family, so I knew it would arise at some point. Would it be full of romance, flowers, a candle-lit dinner and my future husband down on one knee, eloquently pledging his undying love for me! Well, not exactly – after a drunken evening in a local nightclub, you know the ones, with sticky ‘beer soaked’ carpets and dated disco tunes; he turned around to me and said ‘How about it then, shall we get married? Not the dreamy scene I had hoped for, but of course, I said ‘yes’ and we have been happily married with 2 children and a dog for the last 14 years.

    How many of us wait in anticipation for our partners to pop “the question?” Then are disappointed when either, it never happens or when it does, it doesn’t live up to our own expectations. Dreams of being whisked off to a secret exotic location, a special evening in the finest restaurant, and then finally having plucked up the courage to ask, and in front of an unsuspecting audience, your companion is down on one knee saying the words you have been waiting for.

    I have to tell you, although you might not believe me, this type of scenario does happen in real life. The friend that caught the bouquet had a marriage proposal that could have been taken from a film set.

    It started with a mystery holiday that had been planned as a birthday treat, she had no idea of where she was going and was told to pack for warm, sunny weather. The destination was the Greek island of Santorini, staying in a lovely hotel with magnificent sea views.

    A carefully planned romantic walk, where a ‘sea view’ table and a bottle of chilled Moet awaited them to watch the sunset. Along their ocean saunter, a detour to a traditional greek church with white washed exterior and striking blue dome, as my friend finished taking numerous photographs, she turned round to be presented with a handmade puzzle!

    I sure you can guess what came next, when she placed the puzzle pieces together, those simple four words appeared in front of her and her man, down of one knee, offering her the ‘sexiest’ (her words, not mine) engagement ring she had ever seen. Don’t be surprised when I tell you that, not only did my friend’s thoughtful fiancée plan the mystery trip, sea views and romantic proposal, he also designed and arranged for the ring to be handmade with her birthstone!

    Other marriage proposal stories have floated past my ears over the last few years. One in particular, a tale of a treasure hunt, constructed from cryptic clues sending the hopeful lady on an adventure to a hidden destination. Upon arrival, a small Silver love letter necklace with a delicately engraved letter inside – Will you marry me? An engagement ring placed on a finger and another couple betrothed to each other.

    I am full of admiration for imaginative partners that take the time to plan a proposal, complete with surprises, mystery and the odd glass of champagne. Not everyone needs to go to these lengths and as long as the sentiments of the words are truly felt, then any proposal is a special moment. Regardless of how a marriage proposal is planned or not, from my ‘sticky carpet’ moment in the local nightclub or my friend’s Shirley Valentine meets Mamma Mia adventure on the island of Santorini, with marriage statistics as an all time low, isn’t it all about being asked those simple 4 words and living in happily ever after – with the perfect Engagement ring of course!

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    Source by Claire L Bentley

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  • The Enduring Nature of Love

    The Enduring Nature of Love

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    Love Endures and we are reminded of this idea during this month of February, when Valentine's Day is celebrated .. Now- a- days, people buy cards and send e-greetings to their beloveds. But long ago, people expressed their love via post or letters delivered on horseback.No telephones, Internet and mass media were utilized to convey the message from one lover's heart to another. I adore the old romantic movies from early US history, where letters are hand crafted with delicate calligraphy to express the heartfelt passion of the lovers heart.The letters are then carefully sealed with wax and given to an entrusted delivery person or mail service to ensure that their beloved, however near or far away will receive it. Upon receipt of the letter, that may have taken weeks or months to arrive, the cherished recipient opens it, and is reminded that love endures through time and distance.

    How very different this delayed gratification is, from the immediacy of sending a text, email or Instagram post as we do nowadays.With technology so highly advanced, one can reach out to many people at one time and express their love and they can voice their love many times a day to one or numerous friends and lovers near and far. Also, there is no need to wait for a response, as in days gone by, instead one can receive immediate feedback that their loved ones care for them. But perhaps this instant gratification of love expressed virtually has outweighed the benefits of love that is cultivated slowly and held closely to one's heart over time and space.

    I imagine that years ago, before mass communication was available, that love was more tenderly cherished and expressions of love, although more infrequent, were possibly more genuine.The innocence of love that endures over time without the constant need for a barrage of proof that comes from texts, calls, emails and Instagrams that one is loved is a special gift. Consider the friend whom you haven't heard from in many years, who suddenly resurfaces in your life (maybe from a Facebook search) Upon reconnecting with one another, the love that was there may be instantly reignited and a bond that was formed eons ago can come to life again.This is proof that love endures through time and doesn't diminish because of lack of contact. remember that just because you have not heard from someone in a while, that does not mean that they don't love you.

    Perhaps you have been lucky enough to connect with a person who feels incredibly familiar to you upon first meeting them. You may have a sense of loving them automatically. This could possibly be a divine union that began in another lifetime, only to be continued in this time and space.When true love is present, the power of that formidable force can transcend all physical limitations.This applies to our loved ones that have moved on to the other side of life as well. Their love is still accessible to us. True love endures ceaselessly.

    During this Valentine's month, look deep within your heart and see if there is someone you could reach out to and express your love for them, even though time may have passed since your last encounter. You just might be pleasantly surprised to discover that love endures through time and space.

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    Source by Liah Howard

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